Tuesday, 25 June 2019

What the GP said

The GP was very sympathetic, but wasn't able to prescribe anything.  He tested husband's latest wee sample and said it shows no sign of any current infection (well that's something, I suppose).  Therefore, he didn't want to give him any more antibiotics, because of the risk of becoming resistant to them.  He said the tablets prescribed by the hospital to shrink the prostate will (or should!) eventually work, but the fact is it does take time, it's not an overnight process and will take weeks.  He said the reason husband is so uncomfortable at the moment (he's having to sit on a cushion all the time) is because of the investigations he's had.  Understandable, I guess.  And the other tablets to relax the bladder are to make sure he empties his bladder - hence the increased frequency and need to go.  But if he doesn't take them and isn't able to empty his bladder properly, then he will carry on having repeated UTIs.  It's a Catch 22 situation.

He said husband will basically just have to grin and bear it (I bet he wouldn't be saying that if he was going through all this, he is quite a bit younger than husband), in the knowledge that it will get better with time.  Meanwhile, he suggested husband take painkillers at recommended times throughout the day - anti-inflammatories would be the best thing, he said, but unfortunately husband can't take them because of his heart failure and heart meds.  So he said paracetamol and codeine is the next choice, but of course codeine use means constipation, which will exacerbate husband's problems, so he will have to take a medication for that every day too.

I used to think men have it easy - no periods, smear tests, boob squashing, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause.  But with what husband's currently going through, I no longer think that.  

But he's not really been helping himself much - eg refusing to use the pee bottle and pads, not taking painkillers regularly, not going to the loo until he's desperate and in agony - the GP had suggested previously that he should go regularly, whether he feels he needs to or not, and not leave it until he's desperate.  And he's just been sitting around moping a lot, but refuses to even consider antidepressants.  I know he's feeling very unwell, but by not doing what he's been told to do or taking up suggestions made to help him, he's making life difficult for both himself and me, and we've had a chat about it.  Last night was the worst night yet, and it's rapidly getting to the stage where I simply cannot cope anymore.  And if I can't cope, then everything falls apart.

I've had a few anonymous comments recently with no name given at the end of the comment - I'm sorry but I'm not publishing comments from complete unknowns.  If you don't have a Blogger account and have to comment anonymously, can you please put a name at the end of your comment.  Thank you.

I've also had a couple of comments that weren't particularly helpful and had a bit of a spiteful undertone.  I'm not publishing those either.  If you don't like what I say on my blog, then please move on.  With the way things are for us right now, I have no patience for negativity.


  1. I suppose it's good to know exactly how things are but it wasn't as helpful a visit as I had hoped. However, I agree that in some ways he isn't helping himself and the rebound on you simply isn't fair as it could be, to a certain degree, avoidable.
    (sorry, maybe an unhelpful comment but I feel for how hard it is for both of you).
    And I'm so sorry to read that a few have been unpleasant. I know it takes all sorts but, really, the mentality!!!!
    Sending love

  2. I am really sorry to read about your and hubby' s difficulties. We don't know each other and I don't have a blog ( bit worried how to work one but would quite like to do a gardening one) but I wish I could help. Sending caring thoughts to you, I'm in Sussex so not nearby. Lyn

  3. A male friend of mine has a different but similar problem but it still involved painful circumstances. He now has to self catheterise just to go. He found it very difficult and uncomfortable to begin with but it’s second nature now. Could that be a possible temporary solution? It’s such a shame some men fall into a self made catch 22 and even harder for their partners.

  4. Hi Sooze - just having a catch up since arriving home. Sorry to hear about your hubby and his continuing problems I hope the medication will start to make it easier soon - there is advice on the internet about which foods are best to eat and which do not help the condition - so you might try that. Men are so difficult at these times as they do not help themselves much.
    It sounds like you are at the end of your tether, I always think when this happens that the only way is up and often issues start to slowly resolve. You need to have some relaxing me time even if it is escaping for a walk with your dog. I find watching a really funny film always helpful in time of trouble too and both of these activities help to increase the levels of endorphins and is as helpful as painkillers. Also help with sleep problems. Thinking of you. x

  5. Sending massive hugs and good vibes. It's really hard dealing with a stubborn patient. And also sorry that you haven't had kind comments. It's not what you need right now. Good luck Lyssa M (not sure whether it would come up with name)

  6. Oh Sooze, so very frustrating and difficult for both of you. I wish I could help with good advice but don't have any, sounds like your poor husband is at the stage where he needs a 'Mother' to tell him what's what and listen and do so.
    Best wishes that the shrinking meds will do their job soon and you get some respite too.

  7. Did the doctor offer a catheter as a temporary solution? When the swelling goes down with the pills it could be taken out.
    Maybe when he goes to the loo , you could escape out the door till he is done. Or turn up the tv very loud.

    1. Inserting a catheter through an enlarged prostate can be challenging. It usually involves a Coude tip and a lidocaine gel. Most men loathe them and don't want to deal with the leg bag for daytime and the large bag for overnight.

      Anti-spasmodics? Have they been suggested.

    2. I figured if mentioned he might not want it , but the pain every time he goes

  8. I must be reading too many British blogs. My first thought about those commenters who are nasty prompted me to think "Oh sod off". No man is a good patient. Your DH is going through a difficult time yes, but so are you. Sending good vibes your way from Florida.

    Best wishes from Best Bun.

  9. I feel sorry for your husband but sympathy for you too as I know the feeling of a husband not taking good advice and making things worse for himself. Is it a man thing? Maybe just the ones we know.


Thank you for comments, however please note that rude ones won't be published. Nor will anonymous ones now.