Sunday 26 June 2022

How far ahead is too far?

 Does anyone else have a problem with social invitations being issued very far in advance?

At the very beginning of January, we were invited to a 70th birthday party that is taking place in July.  Last week, we had a verbal invitation to a wedding - for autumn NEXT YEAR (the actual date hasn't been set yet).  I had actually forgotten about the 70th birthday party until it was mentioned to us again a couple of weeks ago, it's a neighbour so no travelling involved.  The wedding, however, is up in the Midlands - we were told that they want to know numbers to make appropriate arrangements.  

I don't plan things that far ahead - how on earth do we know what we'll be doing so far in advance?  I have no idea whether husband will be in good enough health to drive that far in the latter part of next year - or even whether I'll be in reasonable health, for that matter.  To be brutally honest, as it's so far ahead, the couple concerned might not still be together by then! (one of them has a track record of getting engaged and then splitting from previous partners, although this latest partnership does seem to be a strong one, to be fair).

At the other end of the scale, we know a few people who issue invitations with next to no notice, which kind of makes me feel that they think we have nothing else in our lives and are ready to just go at the drop of a hat.  A happy medium would be nice.

I'm still not feeling 100% - physically that is, mentally I'm alright.  I'm just so very tired all the time, everything is an effort.  I went upstairs to read yesterday afternoon and promptly fell asleep for an hour.  Didn't feel like doing anything elaborate for dinner (actually, I never feel like it lately!), so just put a couple of pork chops and some leftover boiled new potatoes in the air fryer, both chops and spuds came out crispy and gorgeous.  Added some peas and that was dinner, done with no effort, other than smearing the chops with honey and mustard and tossing the spuds in a tiny bit of oil and herbs.  I'm loving the air fryer.

Today I'm doing a large tray of Mediterranean style veg, including yellow courgettes and baby beetroot from the garden, and another large trayful of jacket spuds, so they'll need to go in the big oven, I'm doing enough of both to freeze for several more meals.  I've got a small gammon joint to cook, I might do that in the air fryer rather than boiling it.  Well.....I say that's what I'm doing, that's my intention but whether it actually gets done (by me at least) is another matter.  As well as the overwhelming tiredness, I've now got the beginnings of a scratchy throat and my neck glands feel sore, I think I might do another covid test today, just to check.  So I might end up doing nothing.


  1. Agreed. I have no idea what I am going to feel like months in advance. My response is usually "hmm, possibly/maybe, but I may have to let you know nearer the time".
    I guess it depends upon how much you care about the person who is issuing the invitation?

  2. I hope the bug is just that and not you-know-what. Whatever it is, take things easy (preaching to the converted, I know!). I agree with the invitation thing. Weddings in particular seem to be such a long-winded affair nowadays. A couple of months notice for a wedding, a few weeks for a birthday is plenty of time. Mind you, I'm a real grouch and hate most social engagements. My heart sinks when we get an invite, and my first thought is, "How can I get out of it?" I'm such a misery-guts! Glad the air fryer is earning its keep. xx

  3. I love your comment HH, we feel just the same.
    The other thing to factor in is the cost. Just before Covid we were invited to something - people we had not seen for years, miles & miles away. It would have required at least two nights in a hotel and some long days of driving. By the time we had added up accommodation, fuel, food whilst travelling, 'appropriate' clothes, plus a lavish gift which was expected, the only sensible answer was "no".

  4. I struggle enough when making dental appointments six months in advance :) although it might just be that they would really love for you to attend. Xx

  5. I think 'save the date' cards are the way forward, no obligation to say yes or no until the formal invitation arrives closer to the actual date, just a chance to plan around the event if it's one you wish to attend or otherwise.

  6. Finally I can comment…still love your blogs…hope all goes well and you can go back to your summer home soon…

  7. My immediate reaction to an invite would be 'No thank you'. I'm not able to drive far, or to afford the fuel, accommodation, gift, etc, etc. and I prefer my own bed now I'm older for various reasons. In your case, there's also Betty to consider. A polite reply, wishing them well and briefly explaining the reasons why not, should suffice.

  8. Usually save the dates- events greater than 6-9 months, are more courtesy so people might try to avoid conflicts. Usually it's not the official request for rsvp. Maybe times have changed.

  9. I don't really have a problem, especially if it's something I would really like to go to and would hate to miss. I book holidays a year-ish in advance and I appreciate knowing which weeks to avoid. I guess, too, that if it involves travelling, it gives one time to plan and maybe save for accommodation, etc.
    Also, maybe, the sender appreciates having some idea of who is going to be able to come - wedding invites can be most expensive!
    I put dates for the following year on the last page of my diary and, when I get the new diary, I transfer them over.


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