Dismal

 I've just been outside to hang washing on the line and it's dismal out there....misty with that dampness in the air and very cold, my fingers were freezing.  Just put the heating on...the room thermostat says 18 deg but it feels much colder, husband said he's feeling the cold as well.  I doubt very much that the washing will dry, it'll have to go on the airer in front of the hall radiator when I get it in later.  No rain forecast for today, but supposed to be misty all day.  Very similar weather forecast all week, not a bit of sunshine to be seen on the weather app.  How dreary.

I didn't get any painting done yesterday - having been a dull morning, by lunchtime it had changed to very dismal with fine misty rain and so dark we had to switch lights on.  This sort of weather I find so depressing.  Sigh.  Never mind, it'll soon be Spring! (I have to keep telling myself that).

Husband has just had a phone call from the GP (he actually remembered to put the phone on loudspeaker so I could hear the conversation), he'd rung to tell husband the results of the nerve conduction tests he had on his feet a couple of weeks ago.  The tests showed he has diabetic neuropathy in both his lower legs and feet, to accompany the background retinopathy in his eyes.  This is all very strange really, as husband is only borderline diabetic (on no medication for it, diet controlled only), diagnosed 4 or 5 years ago.  Whereas I've been diabetic for about 12 years and am on meds, mine is well controlled and I always get praised by the diabetes nurse at my annual check up for having such good control.  I have no diabetes related problems - no retinopathy or neuropathy, so I asked the GP why husband has.  He said basically I'm lucky and husband isn't! (said with a laugh).  He said there's no rhyme or reason to it, some people are just unluckier than others, everybody is different.  Unfortunately, there's no treatment for the neuropathy, other than pain relief which husband says he doesn't need as it's not particularly painful.  The GP said it may get worse with time, or it may not.  It does explain why husband is unsteady on his feet and is always stumbling.  The GP said he must take good care of his feet and especially not walk around barefooted, as with having less sensation in his feet, he could possibly tread on something and hurt his feet and wouldn't necessarily feel it.  When he goes to the loo in the night he rarely puts his slippers on, so I've told him he must.  No doubt he'll forget, so that's something else I'll have to keep reminding him about.

Talking of forgetting, husband has been doing that a lot lately.  This morning he insisted I told him we were going shopping today - we're not, I'd already told him - twice - yesterday that when he goes to the gym tomorrow, Wednesday, he'll be dropping me off at the supermarket and I'll do the shopping then (by myself!  Without him rushing me around and putting stuff in the trolley that either I don't want or need, or that I've already put in myself 😒.  So it'll be bliss to do it by myself).  He also forgot to ring his daughter at the weekend, despite me reminding him several times, and then rang her yesterday during the day.....forgetting that she was working and isn't supposed to take personal calls at work.  Some days he's more forgetful than others, I expect he'll get back to 'normal' - his normal - in due course.

I had a lie-in this morning - not intentionally, I had a bad night and didn't get to sleep until well after 02.00 am - no particular reason, I'm not worrying about anything (well, unless it's subconsciously), it was just one of those nights I think.  I normally get up around 06.30 - I've always been an early riser - but this morning it was 07.20.....nearly an hour later than normal.  Even husband was up before me.

You don't know until you try

 I think part of the reason for my current down in the dumps feeling is that we're at home a lot - apart from shopping, and short daily dog walks (even Betty's not keen on long walks now she's getting older) we don't really go out much.  Husband has gone off to the gym again this morning, he's quite enthusiastic about it at the moment (well, as enthusiastic as he gets about anything).  How long that will last I don't know, he does get fed up of things quite quickly, but I'll certainly encourage him to keep going.  The fact that he's paying a monthly direct debit for it may keep him going there, he won't like the thought of wasting money if he doesn't go.  So one day a week I will make a point of getting him to drop me in town on a gym day, and tell him I want at least 1.5 hours to mooch around - if he chooses to finish the gym early like he did last week, then he will have to go in one of the cafes (there are lots in town) and wait for me there.  And one day a week we will go out for a drive, taking Betty with us - there are lots of places around here we've not yet been to, so it'll be good to do more exploring.  Being at home a lot doesn't bother me overly, as such - I can always find plenty to do - but I do get a bit stir-crazy sometimes.  As I've said before, husband has no indoor hobbies whatsoever, apart from the odd game of chess or sudoku on his computer.  If he's not playing those, then he's watching (or rather, falling asleep in front of) the TV, he'd happily watch it all day long.

I've made dog biscuits this morning - banana, peanut butter and oat flour.  I only buy 100% pure peanut butter, absolutely no additives, so nothing nasty like xylitol (which is toxic to dogs) or palm oil.  Betty's just had one to taste test and clearly approved, as she ate it straight away.  Well, she gave it a good licking before crunching it up 😁.

Husband has bought me 2 pairs of pyjamas and a pair of leggings for my birthday.....well, I got them and he paid, which means I get exactly what I want.  It's forecast to be overcast but dry and not very windy all week, so I think we'll go for a drive on Wednesday, my birthday - we'll probably take a packed lunch, including for Betty, and maybe get a coffee out somewhere.

I've watched loads of videos now for watercolour tree and flower painting.....I think it's time I just went for it and did it, so that's what I'll do this afternoon.  For some reason, I feel less confident about watercolour painting than I did about acrylics...not sure why!  What could go wrong - it's just trying out a bit of painting, just for myself - it's not a commission or a masterpiece! 😂 Anyway, I won't know if I can paint well enough for Christmas cards unless I actually get on and do it....

Introspective

 I'm 65 next week - how on earth did I get to be so old?! 😲 I don't feel 65 at all......although my joints will probably disagree!  Although I don't like the thought of getting older (who does?), I'm not complaining - it's a privilege to reach this age, many people don't.  I'm thankful I wake up every morning, and am relatively healthy.

Having said all that, I'm feeling quite introspective at the moment, a bit down in the dumps if truth be told.  This time of year has never been my favourite, especially December - several death anniversaries of close family and friends, a couple of birthdays of deceased loved ones, it's a rollover of sad events, although I do try to remember the good times and not the bad/sad ones.

Whilst moving here has, for the most part, been one of the best things to have happened to us, in one way it's not so good.  And that is that I've got nobody here who I could call a friend.  Most people here are quite a bit older than me, there are only 2 ladies around my age - one is quite bonkers, to put it bluntly, and not really someone I particularly want to get close to, she's too problematic.  The other is friendly enough, but is one of those people who is always on the go, she'll talk for just a couple of minutes before saying "Must get on, got tons to do" and rushes off.  She doesn't walk anywhere I've noticed - she marches like she's in a tearing hurry and seems to be fizzing with excess energy.  'Busy busy' seems to be her motto.  Back where we used to live, I had 2 or 3 good friends who I could have coffee and a chat with regularly, and I miss that.  Someone who I was very good friends with for more than 15 years has distanced themselves, they've been conspicuous by their absence for about a year, contact has been less and less and has dwindled to more or less nothing, which I find really sad.  And they won't tell me why.  My siblings live many miles away, unfortunately.  So I do get lonely at times.

The friend mentioned above said I should try joining some local clubs - it's all very well saying that, but I am by nature quite shy and a bit of an introvert (years of staying in the background letting husband take the limelight).  So the thought of joining something where I know nobody fills me with something like horror, actually.  I've found as I've got older that my confidence has taken a battering and I do suffer with anxiety and nerves, I've even had panic attacks on a few occasions - I do have medication for this.

I'm not sitting around moping, I do keep myself busy at home and get out for walks when I can (when the weather is dry and not too cold - I don't do walking in rough weather!).  It's just that sometimes it would be good to sit and have a coffee, a laugh and a natter with someone other than husband, who spends much of his time either watching stuff on TV that I'm not remotely interested in, or is asleep.  I have such a brilliant time when my sister, or my friend who lives the other side of the country, are here, it's a pity they both live so far away and are only able to visit a couple of times a year.

Anyway.....I've been watching a few youtube videos on painting trees and flowers using acrylic and watercolour paints.  I did some practising with acrylics yesterday, getting some valuable experience with different types of brushes and mixing colours, I've got a couple of ideas for simple Christmas cards, I'll enjoy doing those.

Loads of energy and enthusiasm (it'll soon wear off!!). And can you....?

 I've woken up raring to go this morning (quite a rarity nowadays 😂).  Husband has gone to the gym and has a short list of things I need from the supermarket afterwards.  At 8 am I was showered, dressed and standing on a stool in front of one of the double wall cupboards, which had (already!) got messy, with things all higgledy-piggledy and some items shoved to the back where I couldn't reach them.  It's all sorted out now, I've used small baskets (I had a stack of them I brought home from the caravan) to put all my herbs & spices, various gravy granules and stock cubes, and pastas in.  So now everything is kept together with like for like, in baskets where I can easily see it all.  One job done.  I've also sliced a load of red onions and they're now slowly caramelising in butter and olive oil.....some for French onion soup to cook brown rice in, as I mentioned yesterday.  The rest will be to top a red pesto, cheese and onion flatbread I shall make tomorrow, to go with southern fried chicken for husband, and scampi for me, for dinner tomorrow evening, with coleslaw and salad.

I'm having a break with my second coffee, then will make a date and walnut cake - a big traybake one that I can cut into squares and freeze half of.  The freezer is now well stocked with batch cooked meals I've made this week, plus scones and cake.  I'm all cooked out now so will be eating out of the freezer next week.

There was an article in the paper this morning about how long you can balance standing on one leg - some doctor or scientist has worked out timings according to age groups.  Apparently, if you can maintain your balance on one leg for a good amount of seconds, it's very beneficial or shows how well you're ageing, or something like that!  Anyway, for my age group the time was around 30 seconds - I only managed 18 early this morning, although I've just done it again and got to 24 this time - in my defence I do have trochanteric bursitis in my hips and a regularly prolapsing disc in my lower back, both of which affect my balance and walking/standing.  Needs improvement though!  Husband has terrible balance issues, due to his health conditions and some of the medications he's on - he could only manage 3 seconds, for his age group it should be 18 or 19 apparently.  Hopefully, going to the gym regularly (he's been 3x this week, which he says he wants to do every week) should improve his fitness.  How about you, can you stand on one leg for a good length of time?  The article was in the Mail here, if anyone's interested in reading it.

I'm going to make a start on practising painting some Christmas cards this afternoon, it'll be my first attempt at painting with acrylics.  I've got loads of drawing and painting paper and card blanks, so plenty of scope for practise.  It'll just be a simple design to start with.  

Fireworks, food and Halloween moans

 Lovely bright sunshine but very cold out this morning, my fingers froze putting washing on the line.

We popped out for half an hour yesterday evening - quite an adventure for us as we almost never go out after dark nowadays 😂.  Butlins were having a firework display at 8 pm for half term so we decided to go and watch, we parked up in one of the supermarket car parks, a safe distance away but with a good view of the fireworks.  We took Betty with us - she's not keen on loud bangs nearby, but has got used to them more over the years and we guessed that being in the car with the windows closed, a fair distance away and having us with her would keep her calm.....it did.  In fact, after one quick glance round when the fireworks started, she then spent the rest of the time watching people coming and going in the supermarket, she really wasn't bothered by the fireworks.  It was a pretty good spectacle, lasting about 10 minutes.  That's our excitement for the week!

I've got a pan of soup on the go, during autumn I save and freeze all the stalks and cores of broccoli and cauliflower, when I've got a bagful I make soup with them.  I've added a diced potato for a bit of body, a veg stock cube and some dried herbs and black pepper, once all the veggies are soft I'll whizz it up with my stick blender.  I'll reheat it gently at lunchtime with some crumbled Stilton and a splash of cream, lovely with a crust of sourdough.  It'll do us for lunch today and tomorrow.

For dinner we're having a bacon and cabbage dish, with cheesy mashed potato and carrot.  I shall fry some strips of dry cured smoked streaky bacon with a couple of sliced leeks and shredded cabbage, adding a splash of water and olive oil, then putting the lid on the pan and leaving it to steam and cook slowly.  There'll be leftovers to freeze.

I saw a recipe on one of the cooking pages I follow on FB the other day - a Canadian lady called Marie Rayner who has a website called The English Kitchen, I do like her simple but tasty recipes.  The recipe was called French Onion Rice - it's rice (I'll use brown) cooked in homemade French Onion soup.  I thought it sounded delicious, I think it's meant as a side dish but I'll have it as a main - I'll stir through fried sliced mushrooms and serve with a sprinkle of snipped chives and grated Parmesan on top.  I'll do husband a couple of sausages or chicken thighs to go with his, that'll be tomorrow's dinner.

Hasn't Halloween stuff gone mad this year?  It never used to be celebrated much in this country.....now you can't get away from it, all the shops have Halloween window displays, there are pumpkins galore and tons of overpriced tat for sale.  Loads of kids (and adults) Halloween parties advertised on the local pages on FB, people going all out to decorate their front gardens with themed scary stuff.  Each to their own of course, but I'm not really a fan of things like this which are so hyped up by the shops to sell more (mainly useless) stuff which will then just get binned and add to the world's pollution problems.  And all those pumpkins going to waste once they've been carved and left out in front gardens to rot!  Husband's Christmas Grinch outlook must be rubbing off on me 😂😂😜

A whole 55 minutes to myself!

 This morning husband went to the gym again, he dropped me off in town (the gym is on the edge of town) so I could have a wander round the shops, he said he'd pick me up in 1 1/2 hours.  I had a lovely time mooching around on my own, got a new year calendar, a few art supplies and Christmas card making things in The Works and Smiths, popped in a couple of charity shops on the lookout for Christmas tree baubles but saw nothing to take my fancy - mostly Halloween stuff, I'll look again next week.  I'd just come out of one shop, intending to pop into a cafe for a quick coffee before looking in another 2 shops, but saw husband pull up in the car - he was over half an hour early - I felt cheated! 😂😒.  I've asked that he give me a bit longer next time, or else go in the car park and meet me in the cafe.  He doesn't wear a watch and didn't think to look at his phone, so said he didn't realise the time was so much less than planned.  Never mind, my little solo expedition was good while it lasted.

I got everything I needed in Aldi yesterday, the cupboards are now well stocked up.  We had a use-it-up dinner yesterday, a jacket potato each with a couple of leftovers from the freezer - some homemade ratatouille on top of the spud and some leftover smoked haddock kedgeree on the side....bit of an odd mixture but it tasted alright!

I've just made a big pan of bolognaise using a kilo of chicken mince - well, 750 g, the other 250 g I cooked with some veggies and rice for Betty, it made 2 meals for her.  I've used home grown leeks (we've still got plenty outside), red lentils, 2 tins chopped tomatoes and frozen peas to bulk out the bolognaise, we'll have some tonight with pasta and the rest will be frozen for future meals of cottage pies, chilli with rice and another bolognaise with spaghetti.  I've also made a peach sponge pudding, at husband's request. 

I've got all the dried fruit etc for the Christmas cake, I'll probably make that tomorrow.  I'll need to buy a small bottle of rum to feed the cake with.....husband likes whisky but I don't, I like brandy but he doesn't, and neither of us likes sherry, but we both quite like rum.  I say that, but the reality is neither of us drinks alcohol now, we haven't done for 3 or 4 years, but we do like the taste of it in a rich fruit cake.

The last weekend in November there are a few things going on in the town - the Christmas lights switch on, a Victorian street market and musical entertainments, the shops are having late night opening and there's a craft market at the steam railway station - and free parking in the town car parks!  So we'll probably go and have a look, it all sounds good.  Husband's a bit of a grouch when it comes to Christmas (very Bah Humbug) but he'll still take me as he knows I'll enjoy it.

Christmas was a bit of a non-event for us last year - not that we make a big deal out of it, we don't.  But as we'd only just moved in here, we were still either unpacking and sorting things out or collapsing in exhaustion!  As my lovely Mum died on Christmas Eve 2019 (blimey, where did that time go?!) and her Mum, my beloved Nanna, on Boxing Day many years ago, it's always a bit of a reflective time for me anyway.

BP, cooking, healthy eating, Strictly!

 Husband's lightheadedness only lasted a day, he was fine by early evening.  He's continued to take BP readings 2x daily and they've gone up slightly, this morning it was 117/73, so he's absolutely fine in that regard, nothing to worry about.  He went off to the gym this morning and did a light workout, overseen by the trainer.

Whilst he was out, I made dog food, 5 meals of white fish, tuna, veg and brown rice which she'll have every other day, with a high quality commercial raw frozen food on the inbetween days, and cheese scones for today's and tomorrow's lunches, along with a cuppa soup.  I've also done a shopping list for tomorrow, we're going to Aldi in Taunton, we go around every 6 weeks or so as it's a 40-mile round trip.

I want to go to the library this afternoon, I've only got one unread book left and have just discovered the print is so small I'll have difficulty reading it even with my glasses on.  When I picked it up in the library I only read the plot line on the back of the book, didn't bother looking inside, I obviously should have done.

Betty's new healthy food diet is obviously suiting her, she licks her dish clean every day, hasn't had anymore sicky episodes and has lost 2 kg in weight, which I'm pleased about as she was getting a bit chunky.  For the initial few days she was protesting about having less treats - she stands in front of me, staring at me, willing me to give her more, or stands in the kitchen staring up at the shelf where her treats are kept.  I kept telling her the mind melding wasn't working 😂 but felt a bit mean not giving in to her.  She's my darling little girl and I do love her to bits.

I thought there were some really good dances in Strictly on Saturday night, I particularly liked Montell & Johannes and Aljaz & Tasha's - all the costumes and makeup were brilliant too, Halloween week is always my favourite on Strictly.  Anton & Craig's Twins costumes were laugh-out-loud hilarious!  I hope Amy is going to be alright, it'll be such a shame if she's too unwell to come back, which means her partner JB will have to get used to another professional dancer.