Almost nervous breakdown time

 We'd literally just got back from shopping this morning (a small top up shop) when husband's brother and sister in law phoned to tell us they're coming down for 4 days.  Arriving this coming Wednesday.  And they're bringing a grandchild aged 6, who we've not seen before.  They're not staying with us but at a local caravan park, they are wanting to spend lots of time with us though.  Pity they didn't tell us before we went shopping.....I'll have to go again now.  This is typical of them, they never give us much notice - they even turned up on the doorstep one time last year completely out of the blue, no notice at all.  It's a bit disconcerting I think having surprise visitors, especially if one is left thinking 'oh no, I haven't got anything much to feed them, or enough milk for teas/coffees, or only one teabag left!'.

Husband was talking to them whilst I was putting the shopping away, so I only heard snippets of what he was telling them and he, of course, forgets anything that he's told.  When he came off the phone he did say that he'd told them how to get to the caravan park (they've got satnav but husband does like to give directions)....however, the road he told them to use has actually been closed to traffic for the past couple of years, due to subsidence!  He also told them that we'll meet them for lunch at the farm park near where they're staying on the day they arrive.....the trouble with that is that there are extensive ongoing roadworks on the way there, which we didn't know about and got stuck in when husband's sister and niece were here recently, there were several diversions in place but not clearly signposted and it was absolute chaos.  The roadworks will be ongoing for several weeks yet apparently, so I'm not at all keen to go through that again.  So I've had to message them back to correct what husband told them.

I never get consulted about things like this, I'm just informed about it, and then left to deal with it all and make appropriate plans.  Whilst it is nice to see family - and it's nearly always husband's family - I do find it very tiring, both physically and mentally, it's extra work on top of all the everyday life stuff I have to cope with anyway.  This will be the 5th lot of family visitors we've had so far this year.

To be perfectly honest, I am finding things are getting on top of me lately, especially with the worry of husband's newest health problems.  And all that bloody veg he's kept bringing in armfuls of and simply dumping it all on the kitchen table has added to the irritation - yes it's nice to have free homegrown food when people are starving elsewhere, I do know that.  But I'm the one who has to deal with it all.  Oh, we took 2 carrier bags full to the zoo this morning.

So now I've got 2 days to gather my thoughts, do some food and day out planning, go shopping again and do some extra housework/tidying up.  As well as supervising husband when he's doing his BP readings and making sure he's taking only half the dose of his ACE inhibitor, like the GP said (he's already got it wrong once, yesterday he took the full dose of that and only half the dose of a different tablet, I have to watch him like a hawk).  Well, one of those days is going to be a 'me' day - I'll take the bus into town, go and find a quiet spot on or near the beach (well, relatively quiet, it is holiday time after all) and just sit and people- or wave-watch for a couple of hours.  By myself.

More health worries

 Lovely day today, sunny and pleasantly warm with a nice breeze to dry the washing.  Still no rain - although, actually, we did have a few spots the day before yesterday, and I do mean literally just a few spots over the course of about 20 seconds, and then it was gone again, with no sign that it had happened at all.  Another nice week forecast, at least it's not blisteringly hot although will apparently be very warm tomorrow and Monday.

Having said we had no medical appointments on the calendar for this week or next, a rarity, we did end up having 2 GP appointments - well, husband did, which I obviously accompanied him to.  Just as well I did.  I've noticed husband's losing his balance and stumbling around even more than usual lately, so mentioned it to the GP, who was a locum we've not seen before and therefore knew nothing about husband's medical history.  Despite having it on the screen in front of him, he kept asking husband to elaborate on his conditions and medications, which husband was unable to do so I had to answer for him.  He checked husband's BP which was very low, which I'd guessed was probably the reason for his unsteadiness.  He suggested halving the dose of one of husband's meds, an ACE inhibitor, then doing a week of BP readings at home and taking them in to the surgery, marked for the GP's urgent attention.  I'm always a bit anxious when one of the GPs suggests altering husband's meds - GPs aren't cardiac specialists.  When you have heart failure you're on a lot of medication, which is all prescribed and finely tuned by the cardiologist.  Lowering one of his BP meds could possibly have ramifications for the control of his heart failure, so it's a bit like walking a tightrope.  I shall have to watch husband (even more) closely for the next week or 2, if there are any changes or worries I'll have to ask the GP to discuss things with husband's cardio team, or possibly even refer him back there (he was discharged from cardiology back to the care of the GP over a year ago).  Meanwhile, he's being referred to physio for his back problems, and of course we're still awaiting the results of his brain scan and the further in-depth tests appointment for the possible dementia.  If it's not one thing it's another.

My worry about husband's balance issues is that he'll end up hurting one of us - he's always stumbling and knocking into the dog, or a doorway or chair, or me - he's almost sent me flying a couple of times, if I hadn't grabbed the doorframe or table for support I'd have been on the floor.  Neither of us wants broken bones at our ages.  I have suggested that he think about using a cane or even a walking frame, but he absolutely won't hear of it.  Totally stubborn as always, he just won't be told.  Well if I end up on the floor with a broken hip or collarbone, and thus obviously unable to do anything around the house for a few weeks, then he'll only have himself to blame.

Podding the last of the overgrown French beans took ages, they're nowhere near as easy to pod as peas, in fact my fingers were sore after an hour.  Still, it yielded a small panful of beans, half of which looked like flageolets, the older ones more like haricot beans.  I boiled them up, cooled and then froze them, enough for about 5 or 6 meals altogether, so worth doing I suppose.  I shall be roasting another trayful of courgettes tomorrow, making another panful of tomato pasta sauce and boiling or roasting a load of beetroots.  Still a load of carrots in one of the raised beds but at least they don't have to be pulled all at once, just when we need them.  We have tons of little yellow cherry toms, which aren't all that tasty to be honest.  There's also still 4 or 5 bags of potatoes to be harvested.  We've got probably a couple of dozen mini (torpedoes!) cucumbers and a couple of courgettes that were hiding and are now marrows - neither of us is very keen on marrow - so will be taking a bagful of produce to the zoo tomorrow.

I've finished the first sleeve of my cardi and have just started on the second one, it's easier to crochet now that the weather's not so blisteringly hot.

Getting inventive with veg, and I'm not a (verbal) punchbag

 I realised this morning I've done hardly any cooking for weeks now, mainly due to the hot weather, all I do is prepare and serve cold stuff mainly, with maybe a jacket spud or a fish fillet of some kind.  What cooking I have done has been pretty basic....ok I did make scones and an apple cake whilst our guests were here, but that's about all.  For meals I did a prawn salad with homegrown potatoes and salad veggies one day, a bought pizza (which I added some extra toppings to), bought oven chips and more salad another day.  Most of our meals have been salads since we've had all this hot weather, I really don't feel like cooking - who does?!  And now I've more or less got out of the habit of cooking.....it'll come as a bit of a shock when autumn and cold weather arrives and I've got to start making hot dinners again.

Our French beans are finally going over, the plants are going yellow and there are quite a lot of (overgrown) huge beans with very wrinkly pods.  We were going to just pull them all up and chuck them in the compost bin, but I thought it seemed a waste to get rid of the actual beans, even if the pods aren't edible now.  It occurred to me that the beans inside the pods should be perfectly edible, so that's what I'll be doing tomorrow - shelling the remaining beans then boiling and freezing them, we should get at least a couple of meals worth.

I was chatting to our neighbour earlier, she said exactly the same thing as me - she's telling her other half not to grow so much produce next year, it's all far too much for just 2 people, same as I've been telling husband.  It's all very well them growing tons and tons of stuff, but when they keep picking armfuls of it all and simply dumping it on the kitchen table, us wives groan and think 'oh no, not again!'.  We were both laughing and saying that being presented with 10 so-called 'mini' cucumbers that are the size of small rugby balls all at once is no joke - it's not like we can cook and freeze them (no I don't like cucumber soup).  I told her about the local little zoo accepting bags of surplus veggies, she hadn't realised they did that and thought it a brilliant idea.  Like me, she said her freezer is now full of prepped garden veggies, to the point where there's no more room.  She's also made several jars of chutneys but said she's still got some left from last year.  We're now getting loads of tomatoes, which I don't really mind as I do like them roasted, drizzled with olive oil and thick syrupy balsamic vinegar on sourdough toast, makes a lovely lunch with some mozzarella.  I must have a sort out of the freezer tomorrow, I think I can probably make enough room for another few tubs of tomato pasta sauce or soup.

Husband's sister messaged me earlier, she's now got herself an electric mobility scooter as her daughter, who's a slim dainty little thing, was finding it hard to push her wheelchair.  She's also had a discussion with her cancer nurse, who is arranging for her to have another scan to see whether her lung cancer has progressed, before going over treatment options once more.

Husband seems to be getting more and more bad tempered just lately, he's bitten my head off several times the past few days.  I know he's got backache (so have I!!!) and he's not good with pain, but I've told him he can't keep taking it out on me.  He just scowled and muttered under his breath.  I've needed the patience of a saint this week - and I'm no saint!

Brainwave!

 It's back to being hot and sticky again, I really don't like it, it's the humidity that gets to me, it drains me and I feel like a soggy mess.

Nevertheless it's been a productive day, I've now got several bags of French beans, sliced roasted courgettes and courgette fritters in the freezer, along with a couple of tubs of tomato based pasta sauce.  Husband said he'd picked all the mini cucumbers.....well I spotted a large one he'd missed and when I had a proper look, found several more that were like torpedoes.  How he misses them I don't know, especially when they're so big - well, I do know, if something isn't right in front of his nose he just can't see it, it seems beyond him to move leaves out of the way!  The big fat ones have tough skins and are crammed full of seeds, no good for eating.  We've had a brainwave, don't know why we didn't think of it before - the local small family run zoo, Tropiquaria, will happily accept donations of fruit and veg for their animals, so that's what we'll do with our excess produce now.  At Christmas when the supermarkets are doing their very cheap veg wars, we generally buy a couple of bagfuls of them to take to the zoo.  So the problem is now solved.

I've also finished the second front of the cardigan and started on the first sleeve, if I try and do half a dozen rows every day it shouldn't take me long to finish both sleeves.  I'll crochet all the parts together, then do the cuffs and edgings in a contrasting colour - the main body is navy, with white for the edges and cuffs.

Tomorrow we're going to Aldi for our monthly top up shop of the things I like to get there, like my barista oat milk which is cheaper there than our local supermarkets, I buy at least a month's worth at a time (it's long life milk).  We also want to go to Home Bargains, there isn't one here in Minehead, and I'll pop into the big charity shop to get some more books.  As I've said before, their books are 2 for £1, far cheaper than our local charity shops in Minehead - they generally charge £1.50 or £2 each for books.

Veg (again), people dying and bad tempers

 After spending nearly 2 hours yesterday doing veg prep, my back and shoulder were killing me - the pain from my shoulder was shooting down my arm to my elbow and up into my neck and the arm was so weak I could barely lift it.  A couple of cocodamol and a cold compress on my shoulder for half an hour made the pain ease off though.  Still 6 weeks to go before I get my cortisone injection.  This morning my cleaner Hayley was here so I kept occupied and out of her way by staying in the kitchen doing yet more veg prep - blanching French beans (another 3 bags full frozen) and making pasta sauce for tonight's dinner.  I've used home grown tomatoes, courgettes and shallots, flavoured with a fresh chilli (husband's sister brought us 2 chilli plants) and some balsamic vinegar.  Sam, thank you for reminding me I can freeze tomatoes raw for making sauces and soups, I'd forgotten about that.....even though I did it last year.  I've told husband not to bring in any more veg for a couple of days, I'm sick of the sight of it at the moment! 😂  I gave some French beans to a neighbour this morning, and some more courgettes to my cleaner, who insists she loves them.

I see the birder and comedian Bill Oddie has died, sadly - famous people seem to be dropping like flies this year.  I suppose lots of the famous people who we grew up watching on the TV are now - well - old, so they're bound to be coming to the end of their lives.

Husband is being very crotchety, argumentative, confrontational and downright horrible lately....maybe he's been affected by his sister's visit and seeing her very obviously going downhill, I don't know.  Or it's just how he is now!  I keep biting my tongue and walking away, but must admit it's taking the shine off our holiday coming in September, I do hope he's not going to be a pain in the backside the whole week we're away.  My sister reckons I should be extra-nice to him - "Kill him with kindness" in her words - she means smothering him with love and nice gestures of course, not overfeeding him with cake 😜😁.  I don't know whether I could sustain that though, that's more her style than mine, she's a much nicer person than me!  Incidentally, she calls him Mr Grumpypants!

I must get on with my crocheting tomorrow, I've sort of let it fall by the wayside recently.....it's a cardigan to take away with me on holiday.  I've done the back, one front and am more than halfway through the other front, so the sleeves, cuffs and edging to do....and sewing it up of course.

An excess of everything

 At the moment it's all about veg preparation.  Today I'm roasting a couple of trays of home grown root veggies, one lot will be eaten for dinner today and cold for lunch tomorrow, the other trayload will be frozen.  Tomorrow I'll be blanching and freezing a mountain of French beans, and making a panful of pasta sauce to freeze, using the tomatoes which are now ripening by the dozen, plus some of the glut of shallots, and of course the ever-present courgettes.  We eat courgettes in some form or another several times a week - either grated in a frittata, fried or roasted or made into fritters, I also roast and freeze a trayful at a time for soups later in the year.  I have to keep on top of it all and deal with some every day, otherwise it just gets overwhelming.  I know it's very much a first world problem and I am grateful to have the 'problem' of too much veg, but it is a lot of work.  Years ago I used to make jams and chutneys (we've always grown veg and fruit) but don't nowadays as we rarely eat them anymore, with us both being diabetic.  We've also now got a glut of mini cucumbers, some of which aren't mini as husband always misses a few when he's gone out to pick them.  Luckily, I do like fresh home grown cucumber grated or finely chopped and mixed with Greek yogurt and mint as a dip for veg sticks, or sliced on sourdough spread with Philly cheese and lots of black pepper.  

The trouble is, husband ALWAYS grows too much of everything - each year at the start of the sowing season we discuss what we're going to grow and I tell him how many of each veg plant I'd like to have.  Somehow he never takes much notice (which is typical of him) and grows at least double quantities of everything - his rationale is that some of them might not germinate so he always sows spares.  The problem is that nearly everything germinates, so he ends up with loads of seedlings.....instead of giving some away or even dumping the excess in the compost, he plants them all.  And then we have far too many.  E.g. the mini cues....I said I wanted just 2 plants, knowing how well they grow here - we have 6, and they're all producing loads of fruits.  The French beans are another prime example, he said there are about 10 plants (which would have been just right for us).....erm no, there are more than 2 dozen, it's no wonder we're inundated with them.  I've said that next year he either cuts down drastically - by at least half - on the amount of stuff he grows, or else he can't grow anything at all.  It's lovely to have home grown veg, but it's just so much extra work for me dealing with it all.  It's like everything husband does, and I know it's a feature of his cognitive impairment, he does everything to excess.

Husband's going through one of his very OTT obsessive phases again - he's back to checking our electricity meter (we haven't got a smart meter) nearly every day, working out exactly how much we've used and telling me constantly.  As we've got solar panels and have had so much sun every day for weeks now, we're hardly using any leccy....but husband thinks we must be as we have the fans on so much.  Oh and he's constantly switching the fans off if we leave the rooms for 5 minutes, which is blimmin annoying.  Oddly enough, he rarely switches the TV off!  He's switching all the kitchen appliances off at the sockets, which again is annoying as I have to keep switching them back on again.

It's so much cooler today, thank goodness - we haven't even had to switch the fans on yet, which will delight husband!  Our local forecast on my app yesterday said there was a chance of showers in the early hours of this morning......erm nope, the ground and flower beds are as dry as a bone still, and no water in the couple of garden trugs left outside.  This morning is the first time in weeks I haven't felt like I'm in a permanent state of hot flushes and night sweats - even though I'm well past the menopause.  Although, having said that, my mum always used to say she was still getting the odd hot flush and particularly night sweats well into her 70s.  Something to look forward to!

A restful day after the 'busyness' of the last few days

 So it's quite a bit cooler today, thankfully - still sunny and warm, with a few clouds and a nice breeze blowing to keep the temperature comfortable.  I gather the weather people are predicting yet another heatwave end of July/beginning of August, blimey, is this still England we're living in?  We've just had to order a new fan for the lounge, Betty was playing with a ball a couple of days ago and knocked the fan over, breaking it.  Husband shouted at her, but I reminded him it was just an accident and I don't shout at him every time he breaks something!  Betty frightened herself anyway when she knocked it over, she bolted to my side for reassurance.  It's due to be delivered today - we had quite a job finding one on the internet, so many are sold out (I wonder why?!).

We didn't do much on Thursday after SiL and niece went home, just rested.  Yesterday we did a big shop, went to the garden centre to buy a couple of hydrangeas, and took Betty to the vet to be weighed - new regulations state that she's got to be weighed before getting her twice-yearly doses of flea and tick meds.  £108 for six tablets, one a month - having pets is not for the faint hearted nowadays.  Thank goodness for our National Health!

Husband's got a bad back again, so have I actually but clearly not as bad as his, going on the amount of moaning and groaning he's doing 😉.  I guess I'm just more used to it as I've had a bad back ever since I had a prolapsed disc overstretching when playing tennis when I was 19.  I am absolutely shattered today, as a result of the relatives being here - a combination of doing more housework and cooking, being out and about sightseeing and lots and LOTS of talking.  It seems totally daft to say that talking wears me out but somehow it does - even though husband talks a lot when it's just us here (when he's not dozing in front of the TV) but he doesn't always require an answer.....or even me to listen to him, actually!   At least he's quieter today, apart from his theatrical groans every time he gets up out of his chair.  Whilst his sister and niece were here - well, when anyone's here actually - he never stops talking, he's a born performer and loves to be the centre of attention.  He did lose the thread of what he was saying, contradicted himself a few times and repeated himself a lot - all his normal cognitive impairment stuff, SiL and niece did notice that.  He also nodded off at one point in the middle of a conversation, prompting his sister to say "Are we boring you mate?" 😂

SiL is currently not on any medication at all for her lung cancer, although she said she's getting a sharp pain in her back now so will discuss pain relief along with chemo and/or radiotherapy treatment with her cancer nurse next week.  I hope she will accept something to help her.  Her daughter told me she is finding it very difficult to accept her mum's refusal to have any treatment thus far, but says she just has to go along with it.  I do feel so sorry for her.