Bread pudding and not doing Christmas

 Firstly, thanks for the info re the trains and buses Sally, we'll pass it on to the neighbour.

I had lots of odds and ends of stale bread in the bottom drawer of the freezer, all different kinds - wholemeal, sourdough and seeded, and a gluten free roll which wasn't very nice.  I thought it was about time I made use of it all, to clear space, so am making a large baking tin of bread pudding today, it's one of husband's all time favourites.  I remember my Mum used to make it a lot when we were kids, a cheap and filling treat for hungry kids coming home from school I guess.  The torn and scrunched up bread, mixed dried fruit and mixed spice are in a large bowl soaking up warm milk and melted butter, the house suddenly smells like Christmas.  I'll add beaten eggs, brown sugar and a handful of veggie suet in a bit.  I don't follow a recipe, just chuck in whatever I've got, I simply do what my Mum used to do - she always added suet to hers but I know some recipes don't.  I think Mum used a mixture of milk and water rather than just milk, I've used all milk (oat milk actually) as I've got plenty of it.  Sometimes we had a piece as cake with a cup of tea, sometimes it was pudding with custard or evaporated milk.  I used to love the crunch of the demerara sugar Mum sprinkled on top, I don't usually do that nowadays, I cut down drastically on sugar due to our diabetes.

Speaking of Christmas, I think ours is going to be very low key this year - well, we don't really make much of Christmas anyway, husband is the world's biggest Grinch and I'm not really bothered one way or the other....with my Mum dying on Christmas Eve and my lovely Nanna on Boxing day it's always a time of mixed feelings anyway.  Husband's grandchildren are all grown up so we don't buy them presents, they preferred money when they were teenagers but now say they don't need us to give them money as they're all in good jobs.  I do like to make a donation to one or two favourite charities at Christmas, and we put food treats in the foodbank bins in the supermarket.  In previous years husband has always liked to have about 3 different roast meats for Christmas and Boxing days - even when I ate meat I didn't really see the point of that when it was just the 2 of us, seemed excessive to me and there was always so much meat left over which I then had to freeze.  This year he's said maybe he'll have a nice steak for Christmas day (he'll cook it himself).....I've not given much thought yet to what I'll have, to be honest I'd be quite happy with a bowl of homemade broccoli and Stilton soup and a toasted cheese sandwich.  One tradition we do still follow though is for our favourite Christmas day breakfast - scrambled eggs with a splash of cream, smoked salmon and plenty of black pepper on sourdough toast.

I'm thinking of not even putting up the tree this year - no real reason except I can't really be bothered!  I have to do it all myself anyway as husband refuses to get involved....I don't mind putting it up and decorating it, but the taking it down and putting it all away and the sheer emptiness of the room after it's taken down makes me feel it's not really worth it!  So this year I'm (almost!) as much of a Grinch as husband is 😂😂

The red scald marks on my face and hand from being splattered with boiling hot exploded egg yesterday are already fading and no longer sore, and the horrible eggy smell has gone from the kitchen.  I did find some pieces of egg underneath the dish drainer when I washed the draining board down this morning, and a lump stuck to the kitchen window that I'd obviously missed yesterday.  Who'd have thought one egg could make such a mess?!

An accident and a shocking fee

 Started the day off today with an accident, which could have been so much worse.  Last night I'd put a pan of eggs on to hard boil, one for Betty's breakfast and the rest for egg sandwiches for our lunch.  Husband has a real obsession at the moment about pans on the hob, he's always switching them off 'before they boil over', often without saying anything to me.  It's not a new behaviour, he has this particular obsession regularly every few weeks.  Well, he'd switched the eggs off before they were cooked properly.  When I began peeling Betty's one this morning it was instantly obvious it wasn't hard boiled, or even soft boiled come to that, the white was still very runny, and the shell wouldn't come off, I only managed to peel a little bit.  So I put the whole egg in a dish and put it in the microwave, thinking it should be fine as part of the shell was already off, I did it for 45 seconds.  As I took the egg bowl out of the microwave, however, the egg suddenly and loudly exploded, covering me and the entire kitchen with bits of egg and shell.  Very fortunately, I'd turned my head to the side as I took the bowl out.....if I hadn't, I would have had a face full of boiling hot egg, and possibly been blinded.  As it was, my hair, left cheek and side of my neck were covered with myriad bits of egg, I immediately went to the bathroom and washed it all off with a flannel wrung out in cold water.  I'm left with several small scalded red marks on my face, neck and the hand that was holding the bowl, all quite sore - but how lucky was I, thank goodness I'd turned my head.

I was just starting to clean up the kitchen when husband and Betty came back from their walk - I was glad they were out at the time, the loud bang would have scared the life out of Betty (it did me!).  Husband just looked around the kitchen and said "Well what a mess, what happened here?".  I told him and he simply said how amazing that one little egg could cause such a mess.  I very pointedly said "Yes, and I'm ok thanks!" whereupon he looked guilty and said oh did it hit you?!  It shook me up actually, my hands were trembling for a while afterwards.  All ok now though, and husband did help to clear up - he got a stool to clean off the tops of the walls, wall cupboards and even the ceiling, it really did make an extensive mess, you'd have thought it was half a dozen eggs not just one!  I bet I'll be finding bits of egg still over the next few days.

Husband is busy outside, mixing cement to render a low drystone wall along a shallow raised bed in the back garden, the wall is old and is beginning to collapse, the weight of the soil in the bed has already pushed some of the stones out.  I'm glad he's actually doing it, I did say to him it needs to be done before next Spring or we won't be able to plant anything in that bed as the wall will probably collapse over winter.  We had strawberries in it this year, which didn't do very well, I'm thinking we might have flowers next year.  I've got lots of Spring flowering bulbs to plant, I'll put those in there.

A neighbour who's recently given up driving for health reasons has to go for a scan at a hospital in Bristol in a couple of weeks, Bristol is around 1.5 hours drive away.  He's booked a taxi and has been quoted a fee of £350 for the return journey.  Blimey!! 😮  He says he's not eligible for hospital patient transport, I don't know why.  This is one of the things that worries me in the (likely) event that husband will have to give up driving.  I know we won't have car expenses then but even so, that's a hell of a lot of money to have to pay out.

Counterfeit! And obsessiveness

 Last week we had a lovely kind follow up letter from the lady from the Alzheimer's Society who'd been to see us, it was handwritten in a white envelope, also handwritten and with a 2nd class stamp affixed.  However, this bright yellow sticker from Royal Mail was attached to the front of the envelope:-

A counterfeit stamp!  The stamp looked perfectly alright to me.  I wonder where she got the stamp from?

Husband is going through one of his obsessive phases, he keeps checking how much electricity we've used and telling me nearly every day.  I really don't need to know and our electricity usage is quite minimal anyway, the solar panels on the roof help with that.  He also keeps turning things off - he helpfully informed me he'd switched off the new potatoes I was cooking for potato salad yesterday "so they don't boil over" - I'd literally only just put them on and they were only just coming up to the boil.  He'd also switched off the air fryer at the socket, something which I never do - there's no need - so I was left wondering why it wouldn't work when I put the pizza in later.  Funnily enough, he never switches the TV off!! 😂😒.  And his latest untruth about me - he told our next door neighbour that I don't love him anymore - she quietly told me later on that he'd said it.  Luckily, she's been a carer looking after dementia patients in the past, so knows they can be prone to saying hurtful things.  Each time he says something hurtful, I tell myself he doesn't mean it, he doesn't really understand what he's saying or the impact it could have.  It still hurts all the same.

He talked all the way through Strictly yesterday evening (he commentates on all the dances, giving his expert(!!) opinion) and kept winding the dog up, so she kept barking - this happens nearly every week, it's one of the very few programmes I actually like to sit and watch, and it's ruined by those two!  And a friend, who should know better, they're not interested in Strictly themselves, kept texting me as well, grr.  As soon as it finished, I went to bed for some peace and quiet.

No trick or treaters here last night (Halloween seems to have exploded in popularity here now, just another cynical moneygrabbing thing as far as I'm concerned), although we did hear a few fireworks in the distance.....Betty heard them too, cocking her head and listening intently, but they didn't seem to bother her much, they weren't close or loud enough.  I'm not looking forward to Bonfire Night though, quite a few neighbours - not in our sheltered housing estate but surrounding neighbours - had fireworks last year, Betty really doesn't like them.  I've got one of those calming plug-ins, plus some chamomile and lavender biscuit treats, and we'll make sure the curtains are closed and the TV on quite loud.

Motivation!

 After some furniture shifting and a couple of days of bending down a lot and moving things around, my back is killing me and it feels like I may have pulled a muscle in my shoulder.  A hotter than usual shower this morning and a dose of painkillers have eased things, today I'll be making sure I keep moving and do some gentle stretches, it'll soon wear off.  

I guess I knew I'd be suffering today, but I was trying to show husband that sometimes, if there are jobs which need doing, you just have to get on and do them and sod the consequences.  As for the pain and stiffness, well you just have to grin and bear it.  Husband lacks motivation more and more nowadays, if something is difficult (or he just plain doesn't want to do it), he gives up and it never gets done.  I have to remind him sometimes that even with his health issues, he has far greater physical strength than me and there are some things I just can't do - well, not without his help anyway.  On Tuesday at the community physio thing we went to, husband was told by 2 physiotherapists that he must do the exercises he was given, and some walking at a pace that will make him mildly breathless, every day.  He does take Betty out twice a day (except when it's raining), but that's just a slow and gentle stroll around the estate, which takes 10 minutes and neither of them is out of breath when they come back.  To be fair, Betty doesn't want long energetic walks now anyway.  Husband was also told by the physios that it would be a very good idea for him to go back to the gym, asking one of the trainers there for a personalised exercise programme.  But he doesn't want to.  He did a couple of the exercises, for probably less than 10 minutes, on Wednesday morning but has done none since, when I asked if he was going to do some today he said no, his back was hurting.  I reminded him that the physio said the more he stays sitting in his armchair doing nothing, the greater the likelihood that his muscles will atrophy and he won't then be able to do anything!

Before anyone says it, I don't think he's depressed - he had a period of clinical depression some years ago and he's nothing like he was then.  I do however think he's kind of mourning the loss of his previous fit and active life, but he's focusing too much on what he can no longer do, instead of embracing what he can do.  I've just got to keep trying to get him motivated....even though it does feel like I'm always nagging him or poking him with a cattle prod.  I'm pretty sure he's worrying about his possible dementia diagnosis too - when I ask him though he just shrugs and says no.  I've pointed out that people with dementia can live reasonable lives for many years - look at the actress Prunella Scales, she had dementia for 10 years or more and still regularly went canal boating with her husband Timothy West.  And he died before she did!  If husband does have some kind of dementia, well then I know things will deteriorate at some point...but I don't want to have to face the prospect of having to do everything myself and care for someone who just sits there like a statue starting from now!  We've still got reasonably active lives to live for a while yet, and I'm bloody well determined that we will do exactly that.  We're not dead yet!

A zombie apocalypse?

 It's sunny and dry for the next few days, so lovely washing drying weather, we'll also be able to get out in the garden and finish off the weeding, pruning and general tidying for winter.  I've also got some Spring bulbs to plant in pots.

My zombie apocalypse box of emergency supplies is almost complete now, the only things I still need to get are dry dog food and a few treats for Betty, and some crackers, biscuits, nuts and dried fruit for us.

I've been thinking about what disasters might befall us, meaning we might need the contents of the box.  We're a smallish village near a small town in a rural area here in the west country, there are no munitions factories or air/sea bases nearby, so I can't imagine that any foreign enemies would be wanting to bomb us.  There is a nuclear power station along the coast at Hinkley Point, around 20 miles away, which I suppose could be a cause for concern....Google tells me that we are unlikely to be affected by the initial blast, should it blow up, but might possibly be affected by radiation.  But I think it being blown up is a fairly remote possibility, so I'm certainly not worrying about it, I would have thought the ones on the east coast are more likely to be targets.

Flooding isn't really much of a likelihood here - during periods of extremely heavy rain, a river up in the hills on Exmoor above our village does occasionally burst its banks, but the water flows down the main village road out onto the main road, bypassing our estate....neighbours say they've never known it to flood our estate in the 12 years they've lived here.  I'm guessing the most likely 'disasters' would be electricity or water being cut off, for whatever reasons, a power outage meaning we'd also have no internet or landline phone, tv or radio.  We've obviously both got mobile phones, I've ordered a powerbank to charge them.  We've got plenty of torches, battery lights and candles, plus the gas cartridge operated camping hob - we've used it a couple of times and it works well heating up water or a saucepan of food.  I know our neighbours have a wind-up radio.  I suppose it could be a good idea for us to get one, as without his beloved TV husband would be bored stiff!!  If the electricity went off for any length of time we'd obviously have to eat up whatever fresh food was in the fridge first.  We have lots of fleece blankets so would be able to keep warm.  The portapotti I recently bought would come in very handy if we couldn't flush our toilet!  I've got packs of wet wipes in the zombie box for washing purposes - and loo roll of course!  So I think we're pretty much covered.  I still think it's scaremongering by the Government though - I bet none of them are buying extra supplies, they'll all be safe and sound in their bunkers or safe rooms, us little people will be left to fend for ourselves.

So I've got emergency supplies because I think it's sensible, not because I genuinely think there's any likelihood of an actual emergency, or that we need to be worried about it happening.  What about you?

A good thing....and then No thank you!

 Husband's first physio appointment (for his bad back) this morning was held in the sports centre of the local college, it was a community event - physios there along with representatives from lots of local organisations, such as AgeUK, SASP which is a collaboration between local GPs and sports facilities, various other activities and facilities.  The idea being that you are first assessed by a qualified physiotherapist and then offered targeted exercises and recommendations for other things like local gyms or swimming pools.  Then you go on to look around the other activities and facilities and choose if you'd like to take up any of them.  I suppose it's a good idea, getting everything together in one place and it was quite well organised....but being held in a big very echo-ey hall with high ceilings, and being quite crowded, it was ridiculously noisy.  With my impaired hearing, with so much background noise going on I could hardly hear a word any of the professionals were saying to us.  The very knowledgeable physio deduced, after thoroughly examining husband and testing his movements, that his lower back pain is muscular in origin, exacerbated by his age and general lack of exercise/movement (I could have told husband all of that!).  He's been given a couple of sheets of exercises targeted at his lower back pain, and they stressed he really needs to actually do the exercises and get moving in general if he wants to alleviate his back pain and early morning stiffness.  Again, things I've been telling him for ages....but of course he takes no notice of me!  So let's see if he actually does what someone else tells him!

Afterwards we went for lunch in Morrisons cafe - husband really likes it there (mainly because it's pretty cheap!) but it's not my favourite place to go.  Husband liked his meal - cod, chips and mushy peas, but I wasn't very impressed with mine - cheese & onion quiche, chips and beans.  The beans were ok, but the chips were undercooked and the quiche was overwhelmingly salty, I couldn't taste anything else in it.  Husband suggested that we go there for my birthday treat when his daughter and SiL are down visiting in a couple of weeks and have offered to take me out for a meal, their treat.  No thanks - hardly what I would call a treat!  It was busy, chaotic, untidy (discarded napkins and spills on the tables and floor) and very noisy, I thought it resembled a transport cafe.  Anyway, I've already chosen a place that does a lovely Sunday roast (we've eaten there before), which husband had obviously and unsurprisingly, forgotten about.  The good thing about the lunch out is that I don't have to cook anything for dinner tonight!  Husband says he'd like cheese on toast - fine by me.

I've now had three separate 'invitations' in less than a week to have lung cancer screening - do they know something I don't?!  As I only smoked 10 a day for about 5 years and gave up over 40 years ago, I don't really think I'm in much danger of getting lung cancer, but I'll have the test anyway, if only to get them off my back! 😂  The initial screening is a phone interview, you're only referred for scans if they think from the initial questions that you may be at risk.  So I'm sure it'll just be the phone thing.  It's good that they're being proactive and doing preventative stuff, I guess....obviously far better to catch things like cancer early.

Nothing on now for the rest of the week, so I might do some more sorting out - we didn't do our shoes when we did the recent clothes cull.  I also need to sort out some books for the charity shop.  I plan on making some soups using the homegrown veggies I froze a few weeks back, it's definitely soup weather now.

This and that

 I had my physio appointment at 8.30 this morning.  Jodie and I have agreed I don't need another appointment anytime soon as my shoulder is so much better, in terms of pain (minimal) and greatly improved strength and range of movement.  She's left the referral open until the end of January, I'm to speak to her on the phone then and if things are the same, then she'll discharge me....or book me in for another appointment and a second cortisone injection, if necessary.  She gave me another resistance band (a length of stretchy plastic in other words), a stronger one this time as my shoulder strength has improved so much, with advice to continue the exercises at least 2 or 3 times a week.  Great, that's one less health appointment to have to plan now.

Another cold, wet and windy day, I even wore my big winter coat for the first time this season when we went out this morning.  Looking at the forecast, it'll be Thursday I think before I'm able to get any washing out on the line.  Night time temperatures are dropping into single figures from Wednesday, so I'll be grateful for my own personal hot water bottle (dog) lying beside me!  She's not under the duvet with me, I wouldn't have that, she lies on top, but she stretches her full length right beside me pressed up against my side - lovely, except when I want to turn over and she's totally immobile - and very heavy - making it hard to move.  Plus I have to wrench the duvet out from under her.  But I'm not complaining, I love that she wants to sleep with me every night.

I've pottered around doing several small jobs this morning, husband has been slumped in his recliner chair dozing all morning....anyone would think he didn't sleep at night!  I had to wake him up at 7.20 this morning as he showed no signs of getting up and we were having to leave the house around 8.10.  He could sleep for England 😒.  I know he's getting older and slowing down - aren't we all?!  But if I didn't prompt him to get up out of his chair and do something, or give him a specific job to do, he would literally doze his life away doing absolutely nothing all day every day.  He's so much worse in the winter.  I keep thinking he's like this now, he'll be even less active in the future IF he's diagnosed with some form of dementia.  He keeps being told by medical professionals that he should be as active as possible.....unfortunately, it's me who has to poke him with a big stick (figuratively speaking of course!) to get him to be more active, and then he gets grumpy and snappy with me.  Sometimes I do think oh well leave him to it, it's his life and if he wants to doze himself to death, so be it.  But that's not me and I don't want it for him either.

When I looked in the mirror this morning to do my hair....and then realised I don't have to as it's so short now.....I thought I really hate my hair now, both the shortness and the horrible dark grey colour.  Can't wait for it to grow out.  Well, at least now it's virtually the same (very short) length all over, it'll hopefully grow out much more even, rather than the thin wispy mess it was before.  Either that or buy a wig!! 😂