Mix of nay and yay! 😄

 The ECG I had at the GP surgery yesterday showed sinus bradycardia - slower than normal heartrate.  I guess that's why the GP requested a blood test for hypothyroidism, and it may explain why I've been so tired recently - well, if it's not just the lack of sleep!  He said he'd like me to have a 24-hour heart monitor, although apparently there's a waiting list for that.

The surgery Carers Champion, Sarah, rang me in the afternoon - she's really nice, we had a good long chat.  She's registered me as husband's official carer, is sending me a Carers Pack in the post, and gave me details of loads of useful websites and people to ring, such as the Village Agent who she said knows everything about everything!  She also said I can ring her (Sarah) anytime for a chat over the phone, or make an appointment to see her at the surgery if I'd rather chat in private.  She was lovely actually and I felt a lot more positive and 'heard' afterwards.

Husband has this very irritating habit of ordering car parts off the internet for whatever car we have at the time - not because we need them, but because we MIGHT need them in the future!  He's still got a complete new clutch assembly for the car we had BEFORE the one that's just been scrapped.....he bought it because it was a bargain - in his words.  The thing didn't actually need a new clutch, but he said (when it was delivered and I asked what it was/why he'd bought it) that the car would probably need it sooner or later 😒😠.  So now we're stuck with it cluttering up the garage - he's tried selling it but nobody wants it - well, it is kind of specialised and the car it fits wasn't exactly a popular one.  So what did I notice yesterday....him looking at car parts on ebay!   I could brain him sometimes.

I've given him explicit instructions NOT to order anything for this new (to us) car - it comes with a warranty, we've got full breakdown cover and he's got a parts & labour warranty with the AA in any case, so we don't need any random spare parts!! 😜

We're back on the housing register as I (think) I said, I've put in a bid on the one suitable property available this week - it's a nice enough property, but isn't in our preferred area - too far away from the caravan really.  One bonus though is that it's within walking distance of a GP surgery that has excellent reviews for care.

Another good thing - I've finally broken the stone barrier with my diet, I've now lost 1st 2lbs, which pleases me greatly.  I've settled into a habit of having a small brunch around 11.30 am - perhaps 1 slice of sourdough toast or a couple of rye crispbreads, with cheese or cottage cheese, some gherkins and olives and an apple.  I have a normal dinner of fish or something vegetarian, with mostly green veg to accompany it, followed by a couple of small easy peelers or a yogurt.  My appetite has certainly reduced, I'm having smaller portions and no snacks between meals - I've never really been one for snacking anyway (that's husband!).

Take a break?!?!

 Thank you for all the lovely comments, I'm feeling a lot better than I did last week.  Sue, I hope you get on ok with the echo, yes I hate medical stuff too.  But unfortunately it's necessary!

My GP, who is brilliant and we feel fortunate to be under his care, was very thorough.  He's had the report from the A&E doctor, although he said some of the bloods results were still unavailable, and no ECG results - apparently the hospital routinely do not send ECG results to the GP, no idea why not.  I have to go back to GP this morning to have yet more bloods taken (good job we have pints of it in our bodies) and yet another ECG, so the GP can see exactly what's going on.  He gave me a GTN spray (the same as husband has for his angina) with instructions to make sure I use it whenever I get the breathlessness and/or tight chest.  And to call 999 if it doesn't work!  He's referring me to cardiology.  Wouldn't it be ironic if both husband and I have heart problems?!  Obviously I hope it isn't heart problems, I'm inclined to think it's all down to stress and anxiety - of which I've had an overabundance the past few months (ha bloody ha).

The GP, who knows all about husband's problems, asked me if I have opportunities to take a break from caring and go do something else away from the home regularly......I didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or dissolve into buckets of tears.  NO! is the short answer, not where we live and with me not being able to drive.  Apparently they have a 'Carers Champion' at the surgery (who knew?), he is going to get her to give me a call.

My head feels like a large bowl full of bits of paper detailing what I've got to do and remember, and it's constantly being added to.....so much so that it's now full up and overflowing, with the bits of paper constantly falling out as there's just no room left for any more.

More stress and hassle yesterday - we rang the car hire co. to let them know they can come and collect the courtesy car on Friday.....only to be told that actually they are coming to get it today!  We told them that no they cannot have it back until Friday, as that is when our new car is being delivered and because of where we live and our health conditions, we absolutely cannot be left without a car.  They rang the insurers and rang us back (I was busy and husband answered it) - saying the insurers had agreed we can keep it till Monday - which husband agreed to, at which point I had to quickly intercede and say no it has to be this Friday, as we're going away on Saturday! (he'd forgotten already).

See, this is what I'm up against - husband can't remember anything, therefore, he can't be trusted to arrange anything as he will almost certainly get it wrong.  I've told him on numerous occasions not to make any arrangements without running it by me first, and said it would be preferable to hand the phone over to me, or at least put it on speakerphone so I can hear what's being said.  But of course he forgets.

It was terribly windy during the night, which kept waking me up, fortunately it's supposed to die down today.  Off to the surgery for more bloods and the ECG this morning, then I've got some cooking and several other jobs to do.

Crises, dramas and good things

 Apologies for the absence, we've had a crisis going on - I'm not giving any details, sorry.  It's not over yet but has eased a bit.

To temper that, there's been some good news - we've found and bought another car, it's being delivered to us on Friday.  It's a nice small SUV, much nicer than our old car and will perfectly suit our needs.  It's had just one owner from new and been regularly dealer-serviced.  We're very pleased.

Our housing application review has been done (miraculously, they advised us the day after I emailed asking when we could expect to hear, as they'd exceeded the time limit given 😉😒) so we can now carry on searching for a suitable property.  Not that we are expecting to be successful anytime soon, but at least we're now back on the ladder.

I haven't been feeling well for some time now, I'd put it down to stress, I hadn't gone to the doctor (my reasoning being it was indeed most likely to be stress, and I haven't got time to be ill).  However, last Thursday I felt very unwell all day and come the evening it got significantly worse, to the point where I felt like I was having a heart attack.  To cut a long story short, it wasn't a heart attack according to the paramedics' ECG, but the reading wasn't 'as normal as it should be' in their words!  They said there was something showing up and they needed to take me to hospital for further tests.  We arrived about 11 pm and I was whisked into a cubicle in the emergency ward straight away, bypassing the queue of other ambulances already there - they said they needed to have me in so they could monitor me and do further tests.  Throughout the night I had a further 3 ECGs, some chest x-rays and several tubes of bloods taken.  I had my BP and oxygen sats checked every hour, along with a few stethoscope chest checks.  I was there all night, seeing a doctor finally around 5 am.  He confirmed I hadn't had a heart attack but agreed with the paramedics that my ECGs were somewhat abnormal, although the chest x-ray seemed fine.  My bloods showed no infection, but a couple of results (for what, I don't know) wouldn't be back for a couple of days.  He said I could go home, but that I needed to go back for an echocardiogram (different to an ECG apparently, husband has had a couple) and some further checks, which would be arranged by my GP, I'm seeing him today.  The hospital doctor said he would be recommending to the GP that I have the echo within 2 weeks.

A large hospital emergency ward is not a nice place to be throughout the night - it was very busy indeed, and several of the incoming patients were drunks or obviously high on drugs - being very loud, falling over and causing no end of problems, both for the accompanying Police and the unfailingly patient, kind and cheerful hospital staff.  One patient, with mental problems, brought in by 3 carers, had apparently superhuman strength and was fighting with all his carers, 2 security guards and assorted medical staff - he was eventually taken away, I know not where.  The staff were all wonderful and I can't fault them at all, I don't know how they cope.  

Obviously I'm a bit concerned, but am not worrying until I know whether there's something to actually worry about.  I'm glad I've been checked out.  I think it's given husband a short, sharp shock (he didn't accompany me to hospital, I told him to stay home with Betty).  I certainly feel better than I did last week.

We're hoping to go to the caravan again at the weekend, for a few days, can't say for sure at the moment as we still have a few things going on, including the new car arriving and taking away of the courtesy car.

Incidentally, the insurance settlement offer for our written-off car was actually MORE than we paid for the car a year ago - so Mrs LH, you're right, prices of second-hand cars have risen dramatically.  We are lucky to have found the new car at a good price.

 

 Blog is temporarily suspended, sorry.

Well blow me down!

 I've not been feeling at all well the past few days, I'm sure it's down to stress.  Yesterday I had a day off - I only did what was absolutely necessary in the morning, then went to bed for a couple of hours after lunch.  I gather husband sat downstairs and watched back to back episodes of some sci-fi thing on TV....he doesn't think to do anything at all in the way of housework or things that need doing unless I specifically ask him to do it.  Well, that's how life is nowadays, just have to accept it.

But anyway, we've had a phone call from the 3rd party insurers this morning - they are writing the car off (as expected) and have given us a settlement figure - which amazingly is actually considerably MORE than we were expecting.  So no arguments, we've accepted it straight away.  The money should be paid into our account early next week.  Husband is of course delighted and is already boring the pants off me reading out details of numerous cars he's looking at online.  We won't be buying a car until the money is actually in the bank, so I'm not really wanting to be force-fed tons of car details in the lead up till then.  So I'm getting him to take us to our favourite beach for a walk, that should give my ears a bit of respite for a while.

Thank you everyone for your comments and continued support....I know I've been very remiss in not saying so lately, life has taken over.  Please know that I do appreciate you all, though.

No!

 Over the past 10 days or so, husband has had numerous phone calls on his mobile, to do with the car saga.  At least half of these I've had to answer.....because he doesn't have his phone with him, doesn't hear it or has gone out without it, despite me reminding him countless times that he needs to keep it with him, especially at the moment!  Even when it's rung whilst in his pocket, every single time (yes literally) he looks puzzled and asks "Is that your phone?".  No dear, it's yours!  And our ring tones are totally different!  He caused another problem yesterday to do with the insurance stuff - I'm not going into details, but I told him if he insists on going ahead with it, he's on his own, I will not help him as I don't agree with it and it could potentially cause a lot of aggravation.  Basically, he's clutching at straws and is not thinking straight - well, he has trouble with that anyway nowadays.  I'm getting more frazzled and worn down every day.

He's going out to brunch this morning with his mate  - well, he calls it brunch but they go about 08.15 so it's early, and he's always hungry again by lunchtime.  At least I'll have a couple of hours on my own - I don't think I'll do anything, just sitting gazing into space and letting my mind relax sounds about all I can cope with right now.

We're going back to the caravan next week - whether we've got a new car or not.  We'd already planned to go there next week anyway, as our lovely van neighbours C&J will be spending their last week of the season there - they don't go in October, unless the weather is forecast to be very warm.  If the insurers quibble over us still using the courtesy car next week, I shall simply tell them we're on a planned holiday and therefore we still need the car.  We didn't really enjoy our last week there, it was marred by the car incident and all the phone calls and worry.  And of course all our fellow owners wanted to know what had happened to the car (the very visible damage all down one side) and we got fed up with repeating the story constantly.  I need a week without problems or stress - what are the chances of getting it?

Not a dumb blonde anymore

 Not that I ever was.....dumb that is.

I've been colouring my hair since I was about 14, my natural colour was a sort of mousy nondescript dark blonde.  I've always dyed it a much lighter blonde, although occasionally I had it purple all over, or sometimes blue or pink highlights.  I once dyed it red - a mistake, it didn't suit my skin colouring so soon went back to blonde.  I normally colour it about 4x a year.....well, I haven't done it for ages, probably 6 months or more, and consequently it's now mostly faded and grey.  I've not purposely decided to stop colouring it and go grey - what with all that's been going on in our lives, I just haven't got round to it, it didn't seem important and actually rarely even crossed my mind.  As I don't wear makeup and am not one for messing about with my hair (in terms of styling it, I mean - I'm strictly a 'wash and go' type), I don't look in the mirror much anyway, so don't really notice my hair.

The last day or so I've wondered about colouring it again, but decided I probably won't - let's face it, it's just vanity, nobody really cares what colour my hair is.  Husband, being a man, hasn't commented - I doubt he's even noticed.  I've got more pressing things to worry about than keeping my hair coloured, it's really not important.  I'm not saying I'll never do it again, I just can't be bothered right now.  And, to be honest here, it's down to very low self image/confidence too - nobody cares much about me so why should I care about myself?  I'm not looking for sympathy, that's just how I feel at the moment.  And before anyone says it, I'm not depressed - just stressed.

It's now been just over 3 weeks since the Council informed me they were doing a routine reassessment of our housing application - during this reassessment we are unable to place any bids on homes until the review has been completed.  They said it should take 'up to 3 weeks' - but they currently have a backlog and it may take longer (which it obviously is, what a surprise....not).  It's frustrating, but nothing we can do about it - as with everything else, we just have to wait.

Depending on how much the insurers offer us for the car (not much, I'm sure), I may have to give husband some of the money I've been saving for our moving fund, in order to get a half decent car.  So it doesn't really matter that we're unable to bid for homes right now, it'll give me more time to build the fund back up again.