A philosophical mood

 Finally, finally, it's quite a bit cooler out, a pleasantly warm 24 deg with an even more pleasant light cooling breeze.  However - we can smell smoke.....it's not a fire anywhere near us thankfully, but it's all over our local FB pages, apparently, it's coming from the wildfires in South Wales, the breeze coming from the north is blowing the smoke our way.  If we can smell the smoke here in Somerset, across the 10 miles or so of the Bristol channel, how much more awful it must be where the fires are - terrifying.  Having had a house fire years ago (I was 13 at the time) which was thankfully confined to the kitchen and part of the hallway, I cannot imagine how utterly dreadful it must be to lose one's entire home and belongings in a fire.  Not to mention the destruction of so many acres of land, and I can't even bear to think about the poor animals and birds lost in the fire.  I don't think any people have lost their lives due to the wildfires, I hope not.  And food is going to be so much more expensive (as if it isn't costly enough already) as a result of these wildfires and the heatwaves destroying the crops and animal feed.  It does make me appreciate even more just how fortunate we are to have a lovely home, space to grow produce, enough money to buy the food we can't grow, to have reasonably good health (even if it's not perfect) and to live in a civilised part of the world.  I hope any of my readers who live near one of the danger areas are safe and well.

I'm in a philosophical mood today.

I've decided that when Betty's pet insurance is next up for renewal (January), I'm going to cancel it.  Since she turned 7 years old (she'll be 10 at the end of October) her insurance premium has shot up each year, seems the insurance companies class dogs as Seniors once they reach 7, thus being more susceptible to illness.  I dread to think what the premium will jump to once she's 10.  Already I've found out that the insurance company will not now cover certain things because of her age, so it seems a bit pointless to keep paying increasing premiums for less and less cover.  Instead I'll be putting money away in a savings account to pay for treatment, I've already started actually so there'll be a good little lump sum come January.  I've also come to a decision that if she becomes very unwell with a serious illness or, God forbid, a nasty accident, either of which requiring lots of hugely expensive treatment which may only prolong her life for a short while, then I must seriously consider whether it would be right to try and keep her going, if it were only for my sake.  Of course I don't want her to die, she's my baby and I love her to bits, but the reality is she is going to die in the probably not too distant future (average life span for her two breeds is between 8 and 12 years).  And I don't want to try keeping her alive with expensive, invasive or unpleasant (for her) treatment if it's not going to significantly benefit her.  I just hope I'll be strong enough to do what's best for my beloved Betty when the time comes.

Obviously husband will have a say in this too, but I must consider the possibility that he may not be capable mentally to make such a decision, so it may well rest solely on my shoulders.

Now I must do something to cheer myself up!!

Nice lunch, more noise, cooling

 Well, it wasn't significantly cooler yesterday, we were still melting, the car thermometer showed 30 deg on our way back from lunch out.  It was a very nice lunch, I had chicken caesar salad whilst husband had haddock, chips and mushy peas.  We had egg on toast for a simple little supper later.

Neighbour Mr X and his brother have been working on the barn conversion themselves this week, so it's been intermittently noisy.  I don't think either of them are builders, they jointly own a motorbike shop I think, but they do seem to be 'have a go' types.  Mr X was telling husband yesterday that they've had a structural engineer in to examine the barn as apparently there's rather a large crack in the gable end wall.  The engineer said it needs rectifying as a matter of urgency, else the wall (plus the roof and other walls I imagine) is in danger of falling down.  He apparently told Mr X and brother what they need to do, so they've been doing it.  I hope for their sakes (and the sakes of any future guests, as it will be a holiday home when completed) that they'll have the engineer back to check on the work in due course!  No sign of any new 'proper' builders yet.

We haven't really been that much affected by the noise this week, as it's been too hot to sit out in the garden anyway.  We've had all the windows open, but with the noise of our fans which are going all day, the banging and machinery noises from next door aren't too intrusive.

The weather people are saying the temperatures will drop from today and for the next week, to what we should have for this time of year.....I do hope so, I need some energy back!  Plus I need to finish sewing (crocheting) up the cardigan, before getting on with the cuffs and edging.

A non-event

 We didn't bother buying safety glasses for the eclipse, which was just as well as it turned out.  Although it was still blisteringly hot with blue skies early yesterday evening, there was quite a lot of cloud too which obscured the sun, so nothing of the eclipse could be seen from here anyway.  And it didn't even really get dark....just a sort of strange grey colour, and even that was brief.  So it was all a bit of a non-event here.  The only thing affected was Betty, she became quite whiny, anxious and restless for about 10 minutes.  Incidentally, why so many thousands of people left it till yesterday afternoon to queue up to try and buy the glasses I don't know, it's not like it wasn't advertised enough before!

This 5th heatwave is draining all the energy out of me, I've had no desire to do pretty much anything except sit in front of the fan in my room, reading a book.  I've begun sewing - well, crocheting actually - the pieces of my cardigan together but can't do much of that at a time, it's been so hot and humid that my fingers get too sticky to hold the yarn.  Thankfully it's forecast to be a few degrees cooler today.

Plants in our garden, both flowers and veggies, are really suffering, despite husband watering them - no hosepipe ban here yet, although our water company texted to say save water else we'll be introducing a ban.  Everything is dying off or shrivelling up in the heat, our tomato and cucumber plants are wilting, some of the perennial flowers have simply stopped flowering altogether.  The garden looks so colourless, brown and drab, makes me feel quite sad.  I know it'll all pick up once we have a decent amount of rain.

We're going out for lunch today at my instigation, I think we both need to get out of the house (and the doldrums).  

Look away if you're a bit sensitive about health symptoms!

 It's been quite a busy couple of weeks, what with health appointments, a couple of unexpected landlord maintenance visits and family visitors.  That has meant that my low-fodmap diet had gone off track, resulting in a return of some of my IBS symptoms.  The diet needs a lot of thinking about and has to be stuck to quite rigidly, which isn't very easy to do when we have unexpected appointments and visitors.  So yesterday evening I went through my books and the Fodmap app I have on my phone, reacquainting myself with the 'can eat' and 'definitely can't eat' rules.  I'm pretty much having to start on the Stage 1 Restriction phase again, to clear my system of the problem foods I've gone off track and eaten recently.  Ah well, at least I know the diet works, having already done around 4 weeks of the first phase and eliminated most of the IBS symptoms.  Hopefully, I can get through the Restriction phase and start on a few Reintroductions before we go on holiday.  

So far I've been able to work out that wheat and gluten are a major problem for my insides, as are onions and garlic, these things are - for me anyway - the biggest cause of my IBS problems.  I have a mild oral allergy, things like citrus fruits, apples and tomatoes make my lips and tongue kind of 'fizz', for want of a better explanation.....this is manageable though, the 'fizzing' effect (and sometimes some mild swelling) only last an hour, it's just slightly uncomfortable rather than debilitating.  The wheat/gluten and onion/garlic though cause me major gut problems.....pain, bloating and the runs, not easy to ignore or live with - having to stay within quick and easy reach of a toilet isn't really conducive to normal daily life!  I also get aching joints and muscles after I've eaten a lot of carby foods - I think that's probably wheat/gluten related as well, and/or due to the high levels of sugars in some carby foods.  My lactose intolerance isn't really that much of a problem.....some people have gut issues with it, I don't, it's a sinus and mucus thing for me, I get sinusitis, a blocked and/or drippy nose and PND (post nasal drip), which makes me cough or do a lot of throat clearing.  This post is all a bit graphic and distasteful, sorry about that!  

I guess I'm just writing things down to remind myself of the effects certain foods have on me, and therefore why I shouldn't eat them if I want to stay healthy.  

Blogger is still being a pain in the bum, so many of the regular blogs I read aren't appearing on my daily blog reading list - including my own!

Nothing much going on, thankfully

I feel like I've had more than enough excitement and stuff going on, could do with a couple of weeks of nothing much!

I did our monthly budget yesterday (bit late but I was distracted by other things earlier in the week), then a freezer inventory, meal plan for 10 days and a small top up shopping list.  I plan on eating out of the freezer for the next couple of weeks, it's quite full and I need to make space for yet more garden veggies.  Tomorrow I have dog food to make, a trayful of courgettes to roast and freeze, and a large panful of tomato, chilli and onion pasta sauce to make, portion up and freeze.  Another carrier bagful of oversized courgettes and cucumbers, along with some more tomatoes, to take to the zoo as well.  

I've suggested husband goes to the barbers tomorrow for a hair and beard cut, he's looking like Santa Claus again.  In a couple of weeks I shall want a haircut too.  I've noticed my hair - and skin come to that - has got much drier as I've got older....another of the joys of ageing.  

Another heatwave forecast this week, it's already just about too hot for Betty and I but will be even hotter for the next few days.  Looks like we've just got to get used to this 'new normal' from now on.

Nothing else to report.

Waiting....

 The few days with husband's bro and sil and their young grandchild went pretty well.  Unfortunately, sil received a phone call on their first day here when we were all out at lunch, giving her some distressing news, which was upsetting.  One thing I will say - although the grandchild (a 6 y.o. girl) was a perfectly nice kid, I'm quite glad we don't have hyperactive young grandchildren who seem to be constantly on the go all day long, are very bouncy and never stop talking!  (It's quite enough having husband to cope with).  They spent one day riding the steam train, just coming to us for supper later on.  And then yesterday they went to Porlock Weir, taking husband with them whilst I stayed home with Betty, who is showing signs of ageing more and more.  That meant husband had quality time with his brother, I knew he was being looked after, and I had a few hours respite at home, so good for all of us.  This morning they're leaving early for home so we said goodbye yesterday evening, after supper at their holiday place.  We shared meal hosting duties, I did no cooking, simply buying buffet type food with a few minor easy additions here.  I even bought scones rather than making them!

It's been lovely to see them and I know they've had a good time, but I do rather hope we don't have any more visitors before our holiday - I need some quiet time to get my head together.  Our next scheduled visitors will be in early November.

Last Monday we had the normal monthly phone call from husband's key worker.  To be frank, I don't really see the point of this phone call, it serves very little purpose from our point of view, even husband says so.  They say it's to support us whilst we're waiting for his appointment for the in-depth testing for dementia.  Well, it's virtually the same conversation every time - the lady, who seems perfectly nice (well, going by her voice, we've never actually met her), starts off by asking "How are you?" in a very slow and earnest manner, as if husband is already deep in the throes of dementia.  Her next question is always "And how's your memory been?" - to which husband always immediately replies "Fine!" whilst I answer "No it isn't!".  Upon which husband laughs and says "I don't know what she's talking about - who are you again?!" in his usual jokey way, which he thinks is hilarious....the key worker always chuckles politely.  Whilst I'm just silently sighing and rolling my eyes.  Two things I wasn't happy about this time - I asked about husband's brain scan results, again - last time the key worker said they'd not had them, they weren't supposed to give them out in any case but she'd try and come up with a way to give us the results, as I'd said we really want to know.  Well, she said this time they definitely won't be letting us know until we attend the testing appointment, it's their policy.  Hmmm.  And on the subject of the appointment - we were first told (by her) that there's a backlog and we won't get the appointment until December.  Now she says it'll be January!  So it almost seems like we're never going to be any nearer this further testing appointment if they keep pushing it back (and thus no nearer receiving the brain scan results, which aren't on his NHS app either, I've checked).  And in the meantime, husband's condition is slowly getting worse, by a little each week, and we're still left in total limbo.  It's no wonder I'm finding it harder and harder to cope.  It's so bloody frustrating.  They referred us to the Alzheimer's society a month ago, but they also have a backlog!

Almost nervous breakdown time

 We'd literally just got back from shopping this morning (a small top up shop) when husband's brother and sister in law phoned to tell us they're coming down for 4 days.  Arriving this coming Wednesday.  And they're bringing a grandchild aged 6, who we've not seen before.  They're not staying with us but at a local caravan park, they are wanting to spend lots of time with us though.  Pity they didn't tell us before we went shopping.....I'll have to go again now.  This is typical of them, they never give us much notice - they even turned up on the doorstep one time last year completely out of the blue, no notice at all.  It's a bit disconcerting I think having surprise visitors, especially if one is left thinking 'oh no, I haven't got anything much to feed them, or enough milk for teas/coffees, or only one teabag left!'.

Husband was talking to them whilst I was putting the shopping away, so I only heard snippets of what he was telling them and he, of course, forgets anything that he's told.  When he came off the phone he did say that he'd told them how to get to the caravan park (they've got satnav but husband does like to give directions)....however, the road he told them to use has actually been closed to traffic for the past couple of years, due to subsidence!  He also told them that we'll meet them for lunch at the farm park near where they're staying on the day they arrive.....the trouble with that is that there are extensive ongoing roadworks on the way there, which we didn't know about and got stuck in when husband's sister and niece were here recently, there were several diversions in place but not clearly signposted and it was absolute chaos.  The roadworks will be ongoing for several weeks yet apparently, so I'm not at all keen to go through that again.  So I've had to message them back to correct what husband told them.

I never get consulted about things like this, I'm just informed about it, and then left to deal with it all and make appropriate plans.  Whilst it is nice to see family - and it's nearly always husband's family - I do find it very tiring, both physically and mentally, it's extra work on top of all the everyday life stuff I have to cope with anyway.  This will be the 5th lot of family visitors we've had so far this year.

To be perfectly honest, I am finding things are getting on top of me lately, especially with the worry of husband's newest health problems.  And all that bloody veg he's kept bringing in armfuls of and simply dumping it all on the kitchen table has added to the irritation - yes it's nice to have free homegrown food when people are starving elsewhere, I do know that.  But I'm the one who has to deal with it all.  Oh, we took 2 carrier bags full to the zoo this morning.

So now I've got 2 days to gather my thoughts, do some food and day out planning, go shopping again and do some extra housework/tidying up.  As well as supervising husband when he's doing his BP readings and making sure he's taking only half the dose of his ACE inhibitor, like the GP said (he's already got it wrong once, yesterday he took the full dose of that and only half the dose of a different tablet, I have to watch him like a hawk).  Well, one of those days is going to be a 'me' day - I'll take the bus into town, go and find a quiet spot on or near the beach (well, relatively quiet, it is holiday time after all) and just sit and people- or wave-watch for a couple of hours.  By myself.