That's that done

 The clothes culling yesterday went pretty much as I expected.  It took me half an hour to do my wardrobe and chest of drawers, then another hour to help husband with his....honestly, he's so indecisive and cannot seem to work out what to keep and what to throw out.  The things I suggested he chuck included a shirt and smart pair of trousers that he'd last worn to his daughter's wedding - about 18 years ago.  He's put on a fair bit of weight since then, so there's no way they'd still fit him.  He also still had some uniform from his last job - he retired 7 or 8 years ago!  How those things managed to make it here when we moved house 2 1/2 years ago I don't know, I can only assume that when I asked him to pack only the clothes he wore and discard any others, he didn't hear me or just couldn't be bothered.  Anyway, it's done now, between us we've filled 3 1/2 bin bags for the charity shop.  

I've just realised neither of us went through our shoe collection, so that's a job for another day.  I also need to go through the bedding and towels......we certainly have too many towels, I'm sure the dog charity shop will be glad of them.

So this morning we'll be taking the bin bags of clothes to one of the charity shops (whichever one we can park outside), and I also want to look through a couple of them....not for more clothes(!!) but for DVDs for husband to watch on holiday.

Husband's sister messaged me yesterday to say she's awaiting an appointment with oncology to discuss having chemotherapy, I'm sure her husband and daughter will be relieved that she's now considering it.  Although she's still saying she's not made up her mind for definite yet, which is fair enough.

Still good....but today might not be

 It's now been 2 whole weeks of calm - well, as calm as it gets in our household! - with no arguments or aggravations, although I do feel like the rug is going to be pulled out from under my feet at any time.  Today, though, is going to be a bit fraught....more on that later.

Whilst it has been a good couple of weeks, there are one or two things that husband does which do irritate me, although I've been making a big effort not to let it get to me.  No. 1 - when I've asked husband to do something like emptying the kitchen bin (a job which he has always done, although now I have to actually ask him to do it), if the neighbours are out in their car port husband will heave a big sigh and with an air of martyrdom say "Just doing my chores".  Chores plural - as if it's not just the one job I've asked him to do, but he's got a great big long (imaginary) list of jobs!  The other thing is to do with meals.....now, as long as I've known husband he's always had a very good appetite and has happily eaten literally anything I've put in front of him, he's never been a fussy eater and will eat pretty much anything.  Except now he doesn't.  Whilst I know tastes change over time - hence why I now almost never eat meat - husband will now say he doesn't like something he's always eaten before and that we normally eat regularly, like the frittata we had a couple of days ago.  He has taken to making complaints about the meal nearly every day.....it's too spicy, or not spicy enough!, he'd rather have had potatoes than pasta, he wanted gravy not a sauce, he doesn't like sweetcorn (having previously enjoyed it for years).  The list of complaints goes on and on.  Now, considering I cook almost everything from scratch and try to ensure he gets something meaty or with meat on the side (whereas I eat mostly vegetarian), I now find myself thinking what's the point of me cooking for him if he's just going to complain all the time?  Why don't I just let him buy and cook his own food?  He'd soon get fed up with that!  Besides, whenever he cooks steak or chops, which he likes the most and I let him cook them as I really dislike the smell of meat cooking nowadays, he always wants to fry them at a blisteringly high heat which means that fat gets splashed liberally everywhere.  And of course he doesn't clean it up.  

Some months ago, we did try buying a load of ready meals for him, I let him choose his own.  Well, that didn't work out - he either didn't like the taste of them or they weren't big enough portions.  I'm not in favour of buying ready meals anyway, too many UPFs and unknown ingredients.  So he'll just have to do what he's always done, and be happy to eat what I cook for him.  Or cook his own. 

As for why today is going to be a trying one......I've said that we are both sorting out our wardrobes today, we both have acquired too many clothes.  Husband isn't keen, he's already complaining about it and says he wears everything.....erm no he doesn't, not by a long way.  In fact he only wears the same few items over and over again, as they're the first things he grabs in the morning, being the last (and nearest) things that were put (thrown) back into his wardrobe/shelves after being washed and dried.  I've told him it should be easy - anything he hasn't worn in a year or more, or he doesn't like, or doesn't fit him anymore (he's put on nearly a stone over the past few months through inactivity) he can put in the charity shop bag.  But I know he'll be moaning like mad and calling me in every 5 minutes to ask if he should keep something!

One huge good thing today - the garage have just rung to say the car has actually passed the MOT!!  Hallelujah!  There are a couple of minor things (not MOT failures) that will need sorting within the next few months, so husband told them to go ahead and do them whilst they've got the car.  Wonderful.  Whilst I really don't know how much longer husband will be driving, as the psychologist who did his initial cognitive tests a few weeks ago (it was May I think) said in her opinion husband is OK to carry on driving at the moment, I'm satisfied with that, so it makes sense to get the work done on the car.  I must say though, it's one thing to make a judgement of being a safe driver based on asking a few questions in an office, it's not the same as being sat beside him in the car!  Whilst I do have some concerns about his driving, I wouldn't allow him to carry on if I thought he was a danger to himself or others.

Right, I've prevaricated long enough - on with the clothes culling!

Sshhh, don't say it

 Life is jogging along quite nicely right now.  I'm almost loath to say it, as our daily life seems to be like a house of cards that can, and often does, topple over at any minute.  So fingers crossed!  Betty's back to her normal self, and husband is noticeably less unsteady on his feet - he's hardly lost his balance or stumbled at all this past week, so it looks like the locum GP lowering one of his BP tablets has worked.  His BP is more or less back up to normal - well, not quite normal as such, it's still a bit on the low side, but is normal for him, whereas when we went to the doctor's it was really very low indeed.  He hasn't had any angina pain - well, he says he hasn't but he's not always entirely truthful about that - nor has he shown any other worrying signs, which is good.  His short term memory remains atrocious but I don't think that's going to change.  He does seem to be less inclined to do things nowadays, I've noticed he's not showing much interest in doing anything in the garden, nor has he started any of his madcap DIY projects outside.  He also agreed straight away when I said I don't want us growing so much produce next year.  He's been spending more time just watching TV - well, dozing in his recliner chair in front of the TV which is playing away merrily to itself.  But then he is 75, so it's not really surprising.  And, the best thing of all as far as I'm concerned, he's been a lot less argumentative and confrontational lately.  I hope it lasts.

I've more or less finished my cardigan, other than sewing in the yarn ends and threading some shirring elastic through the cuffs, which have come out a bit bigger than I was expecting.  Once I've done that I'll put a photo on here.

I need to go through my yarn stash tomorrow to see if I have enough of one colour/weight to make the jumper I want to do next.  I also need to do a wardrobe and chest of drawers cull, they're bursting at the seams.  The box of bedding under my bed is too full as well.  I need to adopt the 'one new item in, one old one out' practice!

Planning for the holiday

 Betty's back to normal now, these sicky episodes of hers (which the vet says are simply gastric upsets caused by her having a more sensitive stomach as she gets older) seem to follow a pattern and last just a couple of days.  She's usually sick a few times (it was 3x on Tuesday), isn't interested in eating and just mopes around looking very sorry for herself.  Then, and it seems to happen quite suddenly, she's back to her normal self, quite lively - well, as lively as she gets nowadays - and is usually very hungry.  That happened yesterday, when I got up it was clear she was feeling a lot better and was immediately wanting feeding.  We took her out with us in the car when we went shopping, as I wanted to keep an eye on her rather than leaving her home alone, I went into the stores on my own leaving husband in the car with her.  She was absolutely fine.  

I bought a new dog bed - well, a soft fluffy mattress to go in her big solid plastic bed in the lounge, to take with us when we go on holiday (we're not taking the plastic bed, just the mattress).  I also got a couple of toys for her, again for the holiday, these and the bed are put away until we go.  I've been getting a few things for our holiday....new lightweight dressing gowns for both of us, a new cross body bag for me, we've both got new shoes.  I picked up some toiletries and a new washbag.  I've got a couple of new books - well, new to me second hand ones - which I must not start on before we go!  I need to get some DVDs for husband to watch.  I'm really into crocheting again, I've already picked out my next project, which will be a jumper, I think I have enough of the appropriate yarn in my stash.  I also have a couple of needle punching kits I bought ages ago, I'll probably take one of those.....so I'll have plenty to keep me occupied whilst we're away.  And of course we've got a few trips out planned, to Wells and Clarks outlet village for a start.  We might go to Glastonbury too, we've been there before a few times several years ago (we once saw the actor Nicolas Cage there, crossing the road - he has a home there....or did).  You see some strange sights in Glastonbury, there are several shops selling things for witches and warlocks, spell books, healing crystals and the like - most of which are heavily geared towards tourists I think.  People dress very unconventionally there, anything goes!  It's certainly an experience, my sister when we took her there described it as the most pagan place she'd ever been! 😂

I've already told husband I'm not intending to do much cooking whilst we're there - I'll take a couple of home cooked meals with us for the first couple of days, then we'll go food shopping.  We'll be getting good quality ready meals (the store's Finest or Taste the Difference ranges) and a pizza or two, with some easy to prep veggies or salad stuff.  We'll also eat out for lunch a couple of times or have a takeaway or two.  I want a rest from cooking for the week.

Less produce next year

 Having taken a few doses of painkillers the last day or two, my shoulder is much better today, I've already finished crocheting the cardigan cuffs this morning.  I'll start on the edging today, more or less making it up as I go along.  Betty's having a sicky day, so I won't be going anywhere, she's already been sick a couple of times this morning but is now peacefully sleeping beside me in her bed.

Light rain showers again this morning - at this rate the grass will be greening up!  Husband brought in another big bowlful of tomatoes, I've no plans for doing anything with them at the moment so have simply bagged them up and put them in the freezer, to make pasta sauce or soup with at a later date.  More courgettes are also ready to come in, so I'll probably roast another trayful for freezing this afternoon.

We've - well, I've - decided that next year we will definitely be growing less produce....husband is getting to the stage where he's less able or keen to look after the growing veggies, and I don't want to be inundated with tons of produce to deal with all at once.  We'll just be growing 6 types of veg - tomatoes, mini cucumbers, courgettes, potatoes, carrots and leeks.  The tomatoes are so useful so I don't mind lots of them, we eat a lot of cucumbers mainly at lunchtimes.  Courgettes we both love and are easy and quick to prep and cook and are quite versatile.  Fresh new potatoes and carrots are lovely, growing the potatoes in bags means we can harvest just one lot at a time, and pull just a few carrots as and when we need them.  Leeks last for ages in the soil so again we can just pull a couple at a time.  

We won't be growing French or runner beans again, husband planted so many, more than twice the quantity I'd asked for, which meant we were absolutely inundated with them this summer, I've frozen several bags full and we've given loads and loads away.  I'm not even that fond of French beans, to be perfectly honest!  The same with beetroot - something I'm not a huge lover of.  No strawberries from now on either - I do love strawberries but husband just doesn't keep them properly covered with fleece or netting, so they get eaten to death by birds, slugs and woodlice.  Besides, there's plenty of British strawberries in the shops which taste perfectly nice.  It is hard though to get husband to understand that we don't need (or want) to grow the vast quantities of veg that he's been used to growing in previous years, because there's only the two of us, we're getting older and more infirm and there's only so much we can cope with.

Rain at last, and oh the pain

 We've actually had rain this morning - not heavy, but gentle steady rain for a couple of hours, it's stopped now.  Hopefully it will have done the garden some good.  It feels quite fresh now after the rain, but according to the weatherman yesterday it's going to feel humid later on.

I had to get up in the night and take more painkillers, and more when I got up this morning, my shoulder was absolute agony.  I think it's because I've been chopping a load more veggies, and doing quite a lot of crocheting the past few days.  I'm doing the cuffs on my cardi now, I had to watch a couple of youtube videos first as it's been many years since I last did crochet ribbing and had forgotten how to do it.  It was a bit tricky to start with but I soon got the hang of it, I've completed one cuff and am halfway through the other.  However, I think I'll give it a rest for a day or two, to give my shoulder a chance to recover.

I'm pretty pleased with this cardigan so far, it's been such a long time since I made a garment for myself, I've mainly done baby blankets, shawls, scarves, hats and the odd baby matinee jacket for the past few years.  The cardi isn't perfect, there are a couple of mistakes, but they're not really visible and I'm sure I'll be the only one who knows about them, no-one else will notice unless I point them out.  The main body of the cardi is from a pattern by a lovely youtuber I follow, her channel is called AC Crochets, she's a very pretty young woman who is a prolific crocheter and gives very clear instructions - she crochets so fast and with very long false nails, I don't know how she does it!  I wasn't keen on the cuffs and edging she's done on this particular garment though, so I've taken the cuffs off another channel (sorry I can't remember the name of the lady).  The edging I'll just make up as I go along, doing my own thing, I've done so many blanket edgings over the years so it'll be easy to do.  I will put photos on of the finished article.

Thank you for all the comments on my last post, I'll definitely be stopping the pet insurance in January when it's up for renewal.  My baby is lying gently snoring in her bed beside me right now, I can't imagine what life will be like once she's gone, I couldn't bear to think of life without a dog, and without my beautiful Betty specifically, she brings me so much joy and makes me laugh every day.

A philosophical mood

 Finally, finally, it's quite a bit cooler out, a pleasantly warm 24 deg with an even more pleasant light cooling breeze.  However - we can smell smoke.....it's not a fire anywhere near us thankfully, but it's all over our local FB pages, apparently, it's coming from the wildfires in South Wales, the breeze coming from the north is blowing the smoke our way.  If we can smell the smoke here in Somerset, across the 10 miles or so of the Bristol channel, how much more awful it must be where the fires are - terrifying.  Having had a house fire years ago (I was 13 at the time) which was thankfully confined to the kitchen and part of the hallway, I cannot imagine how utterly dreadful it must be to lose one's entire home and belongings in a fire.  Not to mention the destruction of so many acres of land, and I can't even bear to think about the poor animals and birds lost in the fire.  I don't think any people have lost their lives due to the wildfires, I hope not.  And food is going to be so much more expensive (as if it isn't costly enough already) as a result of these wildfires and the heatwaves destroying the crops and animal feed.  It does make me appreciate even more just how fortunate we are to have a lovely home, space to grow produce, enough money to buy the food we can't grow, to have reasonably good health (even if it's not perfect) and to live in a civilised part of the world.  I hope any of my readers who live near one of the danger areas are safe and well.

I'm in a philosophical mood today.

I've decided that when Betty's pet insurance is next up for renewal (January), I'm going to cancel it.  Since she turned 7 years old (she'll be 10 at the end of October) her insurance premium has shot up each year, seems the insurance companies class dogs as Seniors once they reach 7, thus being more susceptible to illness.  I dread to think what the premium will jump to once she's 10.  Already I've found out that the insurance company will not now cover certain things because of her age, so it seems a bit pointless to keep paying increasing premiums for less and less cover.  Instead I'll be putting money away in a savings account to pay for treatment, I've already started actually so there'll be a good little lump sum come January.  I've also come to a decision that if she becomes very unwell with a serious illness or, God forbid, a nasty accident, either of which requiring lots of hugely expensive treatment which may only prolong her life for a short while, then I must seriously consider whether it would be right to try and keep her going, if it were only for my sake.  Of course I don't want her to die, she's my baby and I love her to bits, but the reality is she is going to die in the probably not too distant future (average life span for her two breeds is between 8 and 12 years).  And I don't want to try keeping her alive with expensive, invasive or unpleasant (for her) treatment if it's not going to significantly benefit her.  I just hope I'll be strong enough to do what's best for my beloved Betty when the time comes.

Obviously husband will have a say in this too, but I must consider the possibility that he may not be capable mentally to make such a decision, so it may well rest solely on my shoulders.

Now I must do something to cheer myself up!!