So that's decided

 Thanks for comments regarding dog insurance.  I went on a couple of comparison websites, found one insurance that was extremely cheap, suspiciously so - it was less than half the price we're paying now.  I looked at the policy Ts&Cs first.....ha, quickly found the reason why it's so cheap - the excess payable (with Betty's age given as the reason) was huge, 3x the amount of our current excess.  Plus we would also have to pay 20% of any claims on top of the excess.  I then checked reviews of the company - 5* for setting up the policy and ease of use of the website, but only 1 or 2* for conduct of claims - they're apparently extremely slow in processing them and frequently mislay documents or information you send them.  They're also a relatively newish company, only been in existence around 7 years, and I've never heard of them.  So that's a big fat NO!  The next few cheapest policies weren't that much cheaper than what we pay now, and would most likely rise a lot in the 2nd year.  And they all have bigger excesses, due no doubt to Betty's now senior age.  So I've decided to cancel the policy and not take out another one.  I'll set up a monthly standing order to go into the savings account, it'll be an amount equal to what the insurance firm are requesting from the 1 January.  I'll also pay extra amounts into the account whenever I have money spare.  Now I've made the decision, it feels like a weight off my mind.  I'll start the standing order straight away, to give us a bit of a head start before our current insurance expires on 31 Dec.

It was drizzly, very dull and very cold with a bitter strong wind yesterday, today is forecast to be much better, even a bit of sunshine and the wind has dropped.  Just as well as we're off to the Victorian Christmas fair and craft stalls this morning, we'll get there just before opening time.  I need a little top up shop of fresh stuff afterwards. 

Tomorrow I'm getting the tree out, so the Christmas music will go on too!  I've seen photos on social media of the town's Christmas lights switch on yesterday, and there's a local street that do a load of decorations and lights on their houses, to raise money (by donations) for the local air ambulance charity, so I might persuade husband to take us out for a look one evening.  Speaking of husband, his toes are less black and blue and more rosy red and deep pink now, and he says they hurt less, so on the mend.

No broken bones for husband, and what to do if Betty has broken bones!

 Husband decided yesterday afternoon he'd like to go to the Minor Injuries unit at the little local community hospital, it's just 5 mins drive away - his toes were getting more painful and he was concerned that the pins he'd had put in his toes/feet during an operation a few years ago might have been dislodged.  I agreed it was a good idea, so we went.  We've had occasion to go there a couple of times before and have been impressed at how quick and efficient they are.  Husband was called in just 5 minutes after we arrived - I went in with him.  It's nurse-practitioner led, a lovely friendly and very humorous nurse asked lots of questions, examined his toes and feet and said he needed an x-ray.  Once again, the waiting time was very short - we barely had time to sit back down in the waiting area before he was called for the x-ray.  Called back in by the nurse within another 10 minutes after the x-ray - no broken bones, the pins hadn't moved, so it was just soft tissue damage in those 3 toes.  She told him (jokingly and winking at me!) he was not to do any gardening, hoovering, running, walking up and down the high street Christmas shopping 😂😂 (as if!!), but to sit and put his feet up for around 8 weeks (no change there then!! 😉😂😂).  She did say she was kidding, but added that he - and I - should keep an eye on his toes and come back if there was any spreading redness or other signs of infection or worsening pain.  I'm sure he'll be fine.  

I've just had the renewal for Betty's pet insurance, it's due for renewal on 1 January.  I knew it would have gone up - she's now in the Senior Dog category and that bumps the price up quite a lot.  However, I was unprepared for the rise of 52% in the premium.  Betty's insurance is already very expensive - around two thirds more than friends/family who have common and popular terriers or spaniels pay.  It's due to her specific mix of breeds - she's half Shar Pei, half English Bulldog, both of which breeds have known health problems.  Although, ironically, she's never had any of those particular problems, but does have recurring ear infections and always will have.  It's not that we can't afford the payment - we can, especially now we don't have the costs associated with the caravan.....I just begrudge paying such a huge jump in the premium.  We've had the same insurers for some years now - changing insurers usually means existing health problems won't be covered.  And all pet insurers seem to give a big discount for the first year, just to draw you in, but then whack it up significantly the next year.  I'd found in the past that some firms won't insure Betty at all, because of her specific mixed breeds, so was happy to stick with the one that does.  However, I'm now thinking I might end this insurance - for a start, the level of cover we have for her is no longer adequate, given the massive rise in vet fees - if she had a major problem requiring x-rays, scans, operations and in-patient stays, we would currently have to pay out more than the sum she's insured for.  If I increase the level of cover, then obviously the premium will be even higher, quite significantly I should think.

I've discussed it with husband - not that it was very helpful, he doesn't really understand and gets confused by it all, so it's down to me really.....he did say he's happy for me to make my own mind up.  I'm considering ending her insurance altogether and setting up a standing order to pay a fixed sum each month into a dedicated savings account for Betty's costs, paying in extra when I can.  This account would purely be to cover the cost if she has an accident or a significant health problem such as cancer or heart trouble, etc, I wouldn't take any money out of it for her annual vaccination or regular vet fees for her ear troubles and worming/flea/tick meds, the cost of which comes out of our regular budget.  The only problem would be if I cancel the insurance and she gets ill in the very near future - I wouldn't have saved enough in the new account to cover the costs.  It's a bit of a conundrum.  I know of some people (a relative and a friend) who set up GoFundMe accounts to try and cover the costs of unexpected vets bills - I wouldn't feel comfortable doing that, you're asking strangers to contribute towards the costs of your pet, which doesn't sit well with me, it's our responsibility not anyone else's.

I might have a look at some comparison websites over the next couple of days and make a decision then.

Black toes, mince pies and a missing CD

 Husband's toes (the three middle ones) are black, purple and blue this morning - he still insists he hasn't broken them (although quite how he'd know for sure I don't know) but says they are quite sore.  He's also adamant he doesn't need to see the GP.  I don't think they do anything much nowadays even if you have broken a toe....don't they just strap them up?  I will of course keep an eye on them.  It is making him more careful when he gets up out of his chair or off the bed - taking a bit of time to stabilise himself in order not to fall or stumble into anything, which is a good thing.

It was very frosty when we got up this morning, looking almost like a light dusting of snow, but the sun is out and has got rid of the frost.  It's still very cold though, I'm very grateful for our lovely warm house.  How any rough sleepers manage to survive in this weather I don't know.  

I had some of my homemade sweet pastry left, so have this morning made some more mince pies to use it up - I could have frozen it, I suppose.  I didn't really enjoy making them though, all the faffing about and clearing up afterwards....so have decided it's the last time I'll be making mince pies myself.  It's not like we eat loads of them anyway, or have a constant stream of visitors to feed them to.  In any case, we can buy pretty decent ones in the shops now, and there are always mince pie reviews in the papers or on social media, so we know which ones to buy.....or more importantly, avoid!

I'd bought a couple of Christmas music CDs in a charity shop last week - I do have quite a few but they're still packed away in a box somewhere!  I got one by Rod Stewart, who I've always liked, and a double CD of assorted Christmas songs by original artists - the first CD all upbeat songs to sing and dance to, like Slade and Mariah Carey and my favourite Fairytale of New York, the 2nd one all slower, more gentle and traditional songs like Silent Night and Driving Home for Christmas (this one sung by Michael Ball rather than Chris Rea).  Well, upon opening the double CD, I discovered the 1st one was missing - only the 2nd one in the box....somebody obviously liked the happy party-type songs and not the more traditional ones, so kept that and gave the box with only the 2nd CD to the charity shop!  Unless someone nicked the 1st CD....😒  Pity, but I do like the 2nd CD still, and shan't be taking it back to the shop for a refund.....it only cost £1.50 and it serves me right for not opening the box and checking before I bought it!  I played the CDs whilst I was making the mince pies this morning, it's my first lot of Christmas music this year - and it's not even December yet (ooh, what a rebel! 😂).

Thank you for all the comments about the Yumove tablets for Betty, I hadn't thought to check if they're sold anywhere else, as the friend who told us about them said she bought them from Amazon.  Obviously, now I know that pet shops and vets sell them, along with buying them direct from the company.  I'll use all the pet glucosamine/chondroitin tabs I got in the supermarket first and see how Betty gets on with them before I decide whether to buy the Yumove (which are a lot more expensive than the supermarket ones).  She's only had them for 2 days so far, it'll be another couple of weeks or so I guess before we can see any improvement in her stiffness.  She doesn't appear to be suffering all the time, it's only occasionally that it's noticeable.  She is sleeping a lot more nowadays, but I guess that's as much to do with the cold weather and the heating being on as it is to do with her age.

We've decided not to go to the town's Christmas fair and lights switch on tomorrow evening - it's forecast to be a bit drizzly, it'll be cold during the evening and will doubtless be very busy.  But we will go to the Victorian Christmas fair and craft stalls at the steam railway station on Saturday (it's on Sunday as well).  It opens at 10.00 and we'll get there for that time, before all the crowds turn up hopefully.  I'm looking forward to it, I'll enjoy the Christmassy atmosphere and looking at all the stalls, and want to buy a few gifts.  Husband can sit in the cafe (or even the car!) with a hot drink if he doesn't fancy looking around....he does make a big thing out of claiming to be a Grinch, but he doth protest too much!

Replies to comments and early morning drama

 Jane, the price of vet meds and treatments (and the consultation fees) seems to have gone through the roof this past year or two.  I did read somewhere that there is, or soon will be, an inquiry going on into vet fees - about time I'd say.

HH, ooh I like the sound of that cheese, onion, walnut and chutney pie!  That's one to make sometime - what a pity you and hubby can't have it now.

Sue - I'd heard about Yumove tabs, in fact a friend of ours had recommended them.  However, I then read somewhere that some of the ones sold on Amazon had been tested and found to be fake, causing illness and even a couple of deaths in dogs.  I don't know if they're sold anywhere else (pet shops or vets, e.g ?) - where do you get yours?  I guess a lot of things that are sold online could be suspect....how would anyone know?  I got the glucosamine & chondroitin tabs from the pet section in the supermarket.

Husband slipped off his bed this morning as he was getting up.....he was sat on the edge of the bed for a few seconds as I'd told him to, rather than getting straight up which results in him losing his balance.  Well, he was too much on the edge of the bed and just slid off, his elbows on the bed saved him from falling on the floor, which was good as I would have had a job getting him back up.  Unfortunately, he bashed his toes on the chest of drawers....I don't think he's broken them, they're just bruised.  He's not going to the gym though.  Life is.... let's say 'interesting' living with him!

It's a cold and drizzly start to the day, although the drizzle is easing off now and a bit of sunshine is forecast.....hopefully, we shall see.  The dog's fleece blankets more or less dried out on the line yesterday, I just finished them off in the airing cupboard overnight.  More washing to go out today but I doubt it'll dry significantly, so it'll be on the airer in the hall overnight.  I do miss my tumble dryer (it packed up after we'd already had it fixed 2 or 3 times), but not the cost of running it.  We're not going to get another one.

I shall be making the mince pies today, that'll be the last of the Christmas baking for the moment as the freezer is too full up!  We're having a frittata for dinner, using up the last of the Mediterranean veggies I roasted the other day.  There are some new potatoes and carrots in the veg box that need using up, so I'll roast them to have on the side.

Working through the list, and Christmas prep

 This morning it's lovely and sunny, I've washed all the dog's fleece blankets and they're out on the line, hopefully they'll dry.  I've just made about 2 dozen sausage rolls, they're done and out of the oven cooling off before freezing.  I saw a video of one of the TV cooks, Briony something or other, can't remember her surname, she's often the cook on one of the morning newsy programmes and also presents Escape to the Country sometimes.....not that I watch those programmes but husband's generally got them on.  Anyway, she made sausage rolls using wraps instead of pastry, claimed it was easier and quicker.  Well, personally, I didn't think it was any easier or quicker than using a bought sheet of readymade pastry, and the wraps didn't stick very well when rolling up, even with egg wash.  I'm sure they'll taste nice (I used wholemeal seeded wraps) but shan't bother again.....will stick with pastry!  I mixed good quality sausages (out of their skins, obviously) with some made up sage & onion stuffing....which is what Briony did.  However, I also mixed in a couple of dessertspoons of small chunk pickle and couple of handfuls of grated Cheddar, for added taste.  Smelt gorgeous when cooking.

Now I'm going to make sweet pastry for the mince pies, although I shan't make the pies until tomorrow as I have other things I need to do today.  I want to do a freezer inventory and meal plan, the freezer is pretty full so I need to plan meals using up frozen stuff - there are quite a few homemade ready meals so we shall be eating those to make space for Christmassy stuff to go in there.  Banking to do today, and sort out the airing cupboard.

Husband had roast lamb on Sunday (I had my homemade nut roast), lots of it left so he made himself a lamb curry yesterday using a jar of sauce and some added chopped veg.  Since I've stopped eating most meats, I've found I really don't like the smell of some meaty dishes, curry being one of them....oddly enough I no longer like the taste of curry either, even veggie ones.  There's still more lamb left, he wants a break from it today but will be having another lamb curry tomorrow - his choice - and Betty will have the rest of the lamb.

I've just got Betty some glucosamine and chondroitin tabs - dog ones - as I've noticed she's starting to show some signs of stiffness....well, she is 8 now, which is definitely getting towards old age for her specific breed types.  She sometimes prefers to lie down to eat - on her stomach I mean, not flat out on her side!  I'm guessing she has some stiffness in her neck, so we now put her food bowl on top of a box so she doesn't have to bend her head right down or lie down to eat.  She also shows some hesitation now sometimes when she's about to jump up onto the bed or sofa.  Hopefully, the tabs will help her once she's been having them for a few weeks.  We all feel the effects of ageing don't we, whether human or animal!  Getting old is not for wimps!

Thank you for all the comments, and the emails from some of you who cannot make comments on here, for whatever reason.  Blogger seems to be a bit of law unto itself.

Soon be time to play Christmas music!

 We've had a fairly restful weekend - case of having to, with the awful weather.  Fortunately, it hasn't affected us much really, apart from the noise of the torrential rain and howling winds....no damage to our house and garden though, although our back door into the car port is now sticking and we can't open it easily.  Husband has taken the handle apart and sprayed inside with WD40, but it's not made much difference - perhaps the frame has swelled.  It can still be opened, with a bit of a struggle, and there's always the front door if we can't.  We almost never use the front door, as it happens.  The road that our little cul de sac opens into regularly floods during heavy rain - the rain runs off the hills just behind our properties and the little stream in that road quickly fills up and overflows, turning the road into a fast moving river.  Although this has happened several times now since we've lived here, the water has never yet come into our cul de sac, and neighbours say they don't remember it happening, which is good.  I hope all you readers are safe and well.  Ironically, up in Northampton there's a lot of flooding, very near to where my sis and PR live, but they're not affected by it.  The train station there is closed though, as the tracks are completely flooded.  There's a huge caravan park a mile or so down the road from where they live, that's been closed and evacuated due to flooding, it happens there regularly.  It's sunny here today and relatively warm - well, ish, although there have been a couple of quick but heavy showers and several nice big rainbows.  The one constant thing about our weather in this country is its inconsistency!

Husband went to the gym this morning, I ran a few errands in town.  The town is getting ready for the Victorian Christmas fair and lights switch on this weekend....the shops are staying open late on Friday evening, with Christmas market stalls in the high street and the lights being switched on at 7pm, I think.  Free parking all day in the town car parks too!  I doubt we'll go out to see the lights switch on, I expect the town will be very busy.  But the Victorian Christmas stalls and fair move down to the steam railway station over the weekend, we'll probably go to that, we'll get there early before the masses arrive, hopefully.  I do love hearing Christmas tunes, both traditional and modern pop - and singing along to them loudly....but only at home!! 😂  Partly because it annoys the Grinch - aka husband 😉

We heard last week that a member of our extended family has died, and my friend's lovely Mum died yesterday evening, which is sad as it's my friend's birthday today 😔.  The trouble with being our ages - 60s, 70s - is that most of our circle of friends and relatives are also that age or older, so it's inevitable that there'll be several of them passing away, sometimes in quick succession.  My Mum and her two sisters all died within a few months of each other, their remaining brother is bedridden in a care home and has already cheated death a few times, surviving against the odds when he'd had big health crises.  2 or 3 of my Mum's best friends all died around the same time, as well as another couple of extended family and friends.  In fact, for a while it seemed almost like barely a week went by without us hearing of yet another death.  Well, that's gloomy isn't it?!?!

On the plus side, my best friend came to visit on Friday afternoon, which was lovely.  We've known each other for....it must be getting on for 20 years.  We don't see nearly enough of each other, purely down to life circumstances, but it always makes me feel better when we do.

I want to make sausage rolls and mince pies for the freezer this week - it's good to have a few things like that in stock at Christmas, not only for us but for friends and neighbours too.  I'll also be getting on with painting or drawing my Christmas cards.  I'm posting less and less each year though, mainly because of the horrendous ever rising price of stamps.  At this rate it will soon be too expensive to post anything!

Burnout

 Thanks for all the comments, I'm sorry I haven't replied or commented on some of your blogs much recently.  Things have been stressful for a few weeks and I'm feeling burnt out, especially after this week.

Some of you have commented how well the trip up north went.  It wasn't all successful or good, I have just chosen not to mention the bad stuff.  As to PR realising he needs to go along with all the arrangements and plans to come - we all doubt he will....this isn't the first time we've arranged stuff for him by any means, and he's thrown a spanner in the works (or a full scale tantrum or refusal) a number of times.  So we're not expecting miracles, this is the way of things and has been for many years.

What a couple of days!!

 It's been an eventful and exhausting couple of days 'oop north', glad to be home.  Husband and Betty coped fine.....although it did highlight husband's increasing confused state.  I'd left him a couple of lists of things to do and remember, meals to have, meals and treats for Betty.  I'd got out 2 of my homemade dog meals from the freezer and put them in the fridge, labelled and ready for Betty, and written on one of his lists.  He totally forgot (and claimed he didn't see it in the fridge) and got extra dog food out of the freezer and defrosted it in the microwave for her....well, at least she got fed.  He changed his mind about what meals I'd suggested for him and got out extra frozen stuff for himself - again, no matter, he ate well.  Although I rolled my eyes at the fat splattered literally everywhere - worktops, up the wall tiles, on the floor, kettle, tea & coffee canisters.  He'd fried beefburgers for himself and didn't notice the mess he'd made - even my lovely bone china coffee mug was splattered with burger fat (imagine puking face emoji here - I can't find it!).  There were cake and breadcrumbs everywhere, things he'd taken out of cupboards and left on the worktops.  I'm obsessively tidy in my kitchen so I wasn't best pleased.  All cleaned up and put away now.  Betty was hugely pleased to see me, she was all over me and has hardly left my side since yesterday.

On the way up, going through Gloucestershire it was heavy snowfall, with a thick covering on the verges and in the fields, although the road surfaces were clear - gritters had been out, the snow was expected.  Visibility was poor and traffic was heavy and slow moving - I was so glad to be driven by my expert brother, he coped admirably with no issues.  By the time we got to Northampton, the snow they'd had that morning (sis had texted a picture of her snow-covered garden) had almost gone, it was raining instead.  It was also very noticeably colder up there - it had been 7 deg and not snowing here at home when we left, but -2 with a bitterly cold breeze up there.  

Mum's house, where PR lives alone now, was like a cross between a museum and a mausoleum - several rooms had been left untouched since Mum died 5 years ago (well, it'll be 5 years on Christmas Eve), PR clearly hadn't done any kind of housework in a very long time, due to his mental issues.  The rooms, Mum's bedroom and dining room mainly (Mum had had a hospital bed delivered and set up in her dining room for the last year of her life as she could no longer manage the stairs and was bedbound), looked like they'd not been entered in years, were covered in a thick layer of dust and smelt fusty and awful.  There were piles of boxes, suitcases and clutter everywhere.  It was a nightmare, frankly.  Sister, brother and I set to early afternoon on Tuesday (PR didn't help at all), gradually clearing everything into piles of boxes and bin bags, brother made several trips to the Council tip.  We had to have regular breaks to go outside for a breath of fresh air and to dust ourselves off and have cups of tea.  We made several startling discoveries - Mum was a huge note-taker and list-maker, which we knew, but she'd kept pretty much ALL her old notebooks (why???) and had DOZENS of brand new notebooks.  And packs of pens.  And pencils.....and coloured drawing pencils......crayons......chalks....watercolour pens.....felt tip pens....paintbrushes.  I think I mentioned before we'd only found out quite late in her life that she did watercolour painting - apparently she used to paint and draw when she was a teenager, but when she got married and had 4 children she stopped that altogether (no time, presumably) and didn't take it up again until long after she'd retired from work.  We'd only seen a handful of pictures she'd done - we found 2 large sketchbooks full of paintings and coloured pencil drawings and pencil sketches, most of which we'd never seen before and didn't know she'd done them.  And some of them are so good.  We were amazed.  There was also a boxful of art books - mostly tutorials, but some drawings by watercolour artists she liked.  And, the best thing, PR actually agreed that I could have them - I so dearly wanted to have some of my Mum's artwork, so for him to say I could have it all, apart from one picture he wanted to keep, was the biggest surprise and delight.  I've brought the painting he wants to keep home with me, I shall get it framed for him, which he was very happy about.

We spent yesterday morning sorting and packing the rest of the stuff, brother made another couple of tip trips and we bagged or boxed up lots of stuff for charity.  There's a big local charity shop that will come and collect items of furniture, clean clothes/shoes and bric a brac, so we've arranged for them to come and get the stuff next week.  So that's all done now, sister will go back and give the rooms a thorough clean next week after the charity shop stuff has gone.

Sis, bro and I were so glad to get to the hotel, have showers and clean clothes and go down for dinner there - the rooms were lovely, well equipped (lots of assorted teas, coffees, hot choc drinks, assorted biscuits and mints) and warm.  The food in the restaurant (dinner Tuesday night, breakfast yesterday morning) was wonderful, no complaints there, and all the staff were so cheerful and helpful, nothing was too much trouble.  Here's where we stayed:-

It's an Art Deco style hotel by a small airfield, it used to be the pilots and officers' mess during WWII.  It's obviously been refurbished but is done up in all original Art Deco style and is absolutely beautiful.

We had lots of discussion concerning PR and have made some decisions and there's some progress concerning his mental and physical health.  Sister has had some conversations with PR's GP (sis is his appointed health representative) and various physical tests have been arranged for him, along with another referral to the Mental Health team.  PR has tentatively agreed to co-operate with all of this...hopefully he will go through with it, but none of us will be surprised if he changes his mind in due course - it's the normal pattern for him.  So far he has had bloods taken and provided a requested wee sample, so that's a good start.  He also had a haircut while we were there (pre-arranged by sis) which was another good thing - he very rarely agrees to have his hair cut and looked like the Wild Man of Borneo (I have no idea who that was, whether a film character or a real person, but it's long been a saying in our family!).  (I've just googled it - apparently it's an American comedy film from 1941 - who knew?!).

Got home about 6.30 pm last night, after a long but uneventful journey, absolutely whacked, desperately tired and achy.  Went to bed at 7.45, I think I fell asleep nearly straight away, and didn't wake up until 06.30 this morning (which is pretty much my normal wake up time).....so I was in bed and asleep for nearly 11 hours!  😲😲  Absolutely unheard of.

I'm having a couple of days of rest and recuperation now.  Brother has just messaged me to show 2 pics of him and his Irish Terrier dog Murphy walking in 20 cms of snow on Bodmin Moor.  No snow here I'm very glad to say, although there was a bit of sleety stuff coming down this morning, which didn't settle at all.  Bright sunshine now but cold.

Cotton wool head, flapjacks for comfort

 Sorry for lack of posts, nothing wrong (other than the tiredness!), just busy - well, on and off - and nothing much to write about.  I'm busy today - just as well I wrote a To Do list yesterday evening as I had a terrible night and feel like death warmed up this morning, with a head stuffed full of cotton wool.  I've done half the things on the list already, just sat down for a coffee break and quick chat with siblings.  Husband's out at the gym (well done him) so I've had a good hour to get on without interruptions.

The next thing on my list is to make some choc chip & cherry flapjacks to take up with me.  Tomorrow afternoon will be spent packing up and clearing out all Mum's stuff, which PR has hitherto refused to let go of but has now agreed, so it'll be emotional and full-on and we'll be in need of something comforting to have with a cuppa.  I wouldn't be surprised if PR changes his mind and puts up some resistance, we'll have to deal with that if/when it happens.  Siblings and I will be having the family conference back at our hotel in the evening, continuing Weds morning if necessary.  I'm looking forward to spending time with my elder bro and sis in the hotel, it'll be fun (once all the important stuff is done and dusted).

I see there's the possibility of sleet, snow or ice up in the Midlands, not looking forward to that!  Fortunately, my elder brother, who is taking me up there (he lives in Cornwall so is collecting me on his way up), has a big 4x4 and is ex-Police advanced driver, he also now works in the Alps every winter teaching new chalet staff how to drive 4x4s in the snow, so he's very experienced.  Minus temperatures are forecast for the Midlands, but not down here, although it is quite chilly down here now.

Right, must get on - for all my Northern readers (and overseas with wintry weather), please take care and stay safe and warm.

It'll pass

 I'm so tired I'm finding it hard to stay awake during the day recently, especially during the afternoons.  I know I could have a nap, but don't like doing that as I think it'll disturb my sleep patterns at night.  Not sure why I'm so tired, I'm sleeping reasonably well at night - well, for me anyway.  I don't feel like I'm coming down with something either, I feel as well as I normally do.  I suppose it's probably because there's a fair bit of emotional stuff going on right now, both here and elsewhere, which is filling my brain up.  My back and hips are really painful too - although I've had disc prolapses almost all my adult life (the first one was at the age of 19, during an energetic game of tennis), I can generally pop the disc back in within minutes.  As I said though, not this time, it was a day or two before it went back in and has remained extremely sore since.  It's affecting my walking and standing, which in turn is putting extra strain on my hip bursitis and arthritic left knee, so it's pain all round.  I'm alright though, not letting it get me down (no point really, it's not like I'm not used to it, I've had chronic pain for years and years).  But it's probably taking more painkillers, on top of the emotional stuff and stress, that's making me so tired.  It'll pass, it always does.

It's a lovely sunny day today - forecast for all day, apparently, whoopee!!  So washing is out on the line and hopefully it'll actually dry outside for once.....the 2 or 3 loads I've put out this week haven't dried outside and have had to be finished off on the airer or in the airing cupboard.  Despite (or probably because of) my brain-churning stuff going on, I've kept busy and have got to the stage where I literally have nothing else to do, so am having fun practising painting and drawing in the afternoons, and watching artists on youtube.  It's very absorbing and relaxing and I'm learning a lot.

I'm planning on making a big slow cooker full of ragu sauce over the weekend, to be portioned up and frozen for cottage pies, lasagnes, chilli.  I don't mind eating minced meat very occasionally - although I'm not keen on pure beef, I find the taste quite overpoweringly strong nowadays, so I mix it with chicken or turkey mince, tinned tomatoes, lots of grated carrot, red onions, mushrooms and lentils, so it's really more vegetable based than meat.  Which suits me just fine, and husband is quite happy with it too.  I'm also going to make a lemon drizzle cake for husband to have, and probably some flapjacks or chocolate brownies to take for my siblings and I.

Looks like the first properly wintry weather is forecast for next week - much colder with even some sleet and snow......not that we'll get any down here.  I don't mind it being cold - we have plenty of warm clothes and fleece blankets, our heating is very efficient and we're in the very fortunate position of being well able to afford our heating bills.  I could do with a new pair of winter boots though, I'll have to think about getting some.

Talented readers!

 I got my hour in town by myself this morning - it was just over an hour actually, so better than last time.  I'd looked everywhere I wanted to, and although it was sunny (still is), it's actually pretty cold - plus my hips and back were telling me they'd had enough, so the time was just right.  Having decided to go with a red and gold (or possibly red and green) theme for tree baubles, I saw a large boxful of assorted tree baubles, all in silver - different sizes and styles of baubles, little glittery stars and foil wrapped parcels, along with tinsel and a beaded garland, so made a snap decision to have silver instead.  The box is brand new, still sealed (it was a charity shop) and Debenhams branded, so I was very pleased to get it at a third of the printed Debenhams price.  In the same shop I found a bagful of small crystal glass baubles, 20 for £1.50, so I bought those too.  So that's my tree kitted out.  The tree (an artificial one but very nice looking) has built in blue LED lights, so the silver baubles and crystal drops will go better than red or gold ones, I think.

Happy Hooker mentioned yesterday that she yarnbombs her gateposts and emailed me the photos, I'll add them here (with her permission) for you all to see:-

Aren't they fabulous, and isn't HH clever and very talented?!  There were yarnbombers who did similar things along the High Street of the village we used to live near last year.....sadly, they often got vandalised or stolen.  Some people (well, teenagers I guess) have no respect.

I just want to get a Christmas wreath now for our door.....I seem to recall Lucy of Attic24 made one, crocheted obviously as that's what she's famous for, but I haven't got the patience for that sort of thing - blankets are my limit!

I've sorted out a menu plan for husband's meals while I'm away next week, it's all simple homemade frozen stuff that he can do easily, he's perfectly capable of cooking simple things for himself.  Betty's food and treats I will portion up in labelled pots, so it's just a case of husband tipping the appropriate pot out into her dish.  I'm up to date with washing and housework, just one more wash load to do at the weekend and my small bag to pack and a small top up shop of fresh fruit, veg and milk to get. 

Getting in the mood

 I washed all the dog blankets and bedding this morning, to take advantage of that rare yellow thing in the sky.....which had disappeared by lunchtime, although it's not raining, but is quite cold.  Hopefully they'll all dry on the line, they're all fleece, but I expect I'll fold and put them in the airing cupboard when I get them in, to finish off.

I've made 2 Christmas cakes, the second is a small one in a loaf tin, just because there was too much mixture for my deep round cake tin.  The small one we'll eat over the next week, I won't bother with feeding it with alcohol, unlike the big one.  So the house smells all Christmassy now.....although husband said it smelt like the new Winter Spice air freshener in the bathroom 😒.  He has such a way with words!

Having seen them advertised constantly on FB, I gave in and ordered a boxful of Cornish Pasties from a Cornish bakery....I ordered them yesterday lunchtime (must have been hungry 😂) just before 1.00 pm and they arrived this morning around 10 am.  They're despatched frozen, packed in a polystyrene lidded box inside a sturdy cardboard box, and the pasties inside the polystyrene box are surrounded with disposable freezer packs.  Everything was still frozen solid, impressively.  8 pasties and they come with 4 free jumbo sausage rolls.  They're now all portioned up and in the freezer, so that's 6 meals for the 2 of us over the next few weeks.  Actually, husband can have one of the pasties for his dinner whilst I'm away, they're cooked from frozen so he can easily do that, along with some chips or beans (most likely both).  Even though I hardly ever eat meat nowadays, I do like a proper Cornish pasty occasionally.

Husband's off to the gym again tomorrow morning (he is doing well!), so I'll get him to drop me off in town.....I want to start looking for decorations for the Christmas tree.  Last year I had all different decorations on the tree, a mixture of various coloured baubles and other things - glittery stars, glass ornaments, little stuffed toys.  I'm quite new to Christmas decs and trees, we never used to bother with them whilst my Mum was alive....the reason being, she was a Jehovah's Witness and they don't celebrate Christmas, so we'd been brought up since childhood not having any decorations up.  It didn't really bother me, I didn't know any different really.  By a huge coincidence, husband's family were also JWs - our two families didn't know each other at the time, they were in different congregations.  So he's never been bothered about Christmas either, in fact he's a total Grinch.  Neither of us is a JW, we never got into it.  I wouldn't have dreamt of putting up decorations whilst my Mum was alive - she didn't live with us but often visited, and although she wouldn't have complained, it would have seemed disrespectful to her if I had.  After she died, though, I decided I would.  I think this year is only the 4th one of having a tree.  This year, instead of the variety of different tree decs, I fancy going with a simple scheme - just baubles I think, different sizes and in shades of red and gold.  Or maybe red and green.....I'll see what I fancy when I see some in the shops.  I won't be putting up any other decorations - the Grinch does live here too so I have to take account of his wishes!  😉😁  I've got quite a few Christmas ornaments and animals, and some Xmas gnomes, which I love......I might put some of them out, although they'll have to be high up on top of sideboards etc, as Betty kept thinking they were toys for her last year, she kept grabbing them and running off with them.  I did buy a couple of lovely red Poinsettia plants for last Christmas, but they very quickly died....I'm not good with houseplants!  So I don't think I'll bother with them this year.

Some of the Spring bulbs I planted up in pots outside are already starting to show through the compost - the early narcissi I think.  Can't wait for Spring!  It's my favourite season.

Must-have Christmas goodies - brightly coloured plastic rind wheel of cheese? Or a new sofa?

 Husband went to the gym this morning and dropped me off at the supermarket, I've done the big shop for this month.  I'd just finished and was unloading at the checkout when husband came in to find me, so that was good timing.  I'm about to do the budgeting....I normally do it end of the month or the very beginning of the month, but it got overlooked this time, so a bit late.  Never mind, it's not a problem.  Our Housing Officer is due today, I'll ask her to ring husband next week when I'm away, just to check he's ok - I won't tell him I'm asking her, he'll only get huffy and say he'll be fine and doesn't need checking up on.  I'm sure he will, but it'll be peace of mind for me.  She's very kind and obliging, so I'm sure she'll do it.

The supermarket has gone full on Christmassy, I noticed they've taken some usual day to day stuff off the shelves to make room for Christmas goods, I had to ask for Edam cheese (I like a chunk of it with an apple for lunch sometimes) - none on the shelf but the assistant said they've got it out the back in the chiller, they'd moved out some everyday cheeses to free up space for those horrendously expensive little wheels of cheese covered with exotic coloured plastic rinds.  Does anyone ever actually fork out for them?  I suppose they must, or they wouldn't have them in stock.  People seem to develop this mad "ooh must have that" mentality at Christmas.....as if their friends and family will think them Scrooges if they don't buy that sort of stuff.  The adverts on TV for new sofas always get me - do people really absolutely need a new 3 piece suite for Christmas?!  Even husband was saying yesterday "What meats shall we have for Christmas?" - now, bearing in mind I'm pescatarian and it's only us two for the festive period, it's not like we need 3 or 4 joints and a turkey is it?  I've already decided to make a salmon and prawn Wellington for the day, and husband had said he liked the sound of that and would have it too.....now he's saying he'd like a big pork joint and a gammon.  I'll probably get them nearer the time if that's what he wants, but they won't be huge ones.  I might get a small turkey crown for him too (if there is such a thing as a small one), the excess meat can always be frozen, and I'm sure Betty will enjoy some of it, whatever meat we get.

Over the coming weekend I'll make a menu plan for husband for the short time I'm away, and sort out Betty's food and portion up/label her treats, so husband knows exactly what to give her.  I've told our neighbours I'll be away, so they can keep an eye on him too.  Again, not that he needs it really, but it'll save me worrying.

My back is still very sore - the disc has gone back in but the soreness remains, along with my left hip hurting like mad too - I feel like I've been tackled by a rugby player and hurled to the ground.  Such is life, it'll wear off sooner or later.

Sums it up, and my lovely Granddad

 This was posted on the Carers group I belong to online this morning:-

"I don't remember applying for this:

Full time job, no prospects, 40+ hours per week, no salary, no annual leave entitlement, no perks. No training given. No CRB required. Infinite patience and good sense of humour an advantage but not essential.

You will be expected to learn on your own initiative, be available on call at a nano second's notice and you will be expected to plaster a smile on your face at all times.

You will also be expected to deal with HCPs in a flattering, charming manner whilst keeping said smile on face and nodding agreement to the BS you are being fed, also to deal with mountains of paperwork - legal or otherwise - and be prepared for the constant knock backs when told you/your caree isn't actually entitled to whatever it is you are asking for. Again.

But not only did I not apply for this job, I got it! Still scratching my head how/why/when I accepted it but there you go. Such is life, it is what it is.

Written tongue in cheek by a jaded, over 60 year old, who foolishly expected a little more from life."

I didn't write it, but it sums up everything I feel.

My relatives and I are going to stay in a hotel overnight next week, discussing what we can do about - and to help - our PR. Something needs to be done, although it will be a massive job trying to get him to agree to things. We can but try. It means leaving husband by himself with the dog, but he can certainly cope well enough for 2 days/1 night.

I've been remembering my Grandfather today, he was a proud ex-WW2 soldier and loved Armistice day, he would watch TV all day and stand to attention in his lounge, saluting the marching servicemen and women. Bless him, he was the best Granddad to us kids, he'd take us out on nature walks in the woods, take us on the train to London for museum trips, let us help him in his veg garden or feeding his caged birds in his shed (budgies, parakeets and a talking Mynah bird that swore, much to our amusement). I miss him, even after all these years.

Emotional blackmail - when to say No

 Our Problem Relative, who I shall hereafter call PR for simplicity, had been very quiet for a few weeks....ominously so.  Whilst we are all grateful for the respite, we all know that it is generally the calm before the storm.  Well, the storm started breaking a couple of days ago, culminating in full-on hurricane/tsunami yesterday.

The PR has been a massive problem for literally years and years, partly due to being coddled and babied for his early life and had everything done for him.  He is epileptic, although rarely has fits nowadays, but suffers with no end of other physical and a lot of mental problems.  He did undergo some psychiatric tests years ago, but soon flatly refused to do any more, or see the psychiatrist again.  Consequently, the psychiatrist couldn't make a definite diagnosis, he said the PR definitely had OCD, agoraphobia and chronic depression, probably a social phobia, likely some kind of personality disorder and some signs of schizophrenia - that was as much as he could say without further investigations and tests, although he did prescribe some medications.  We (my relatives and I) have arranged numerous kinds of assistance for him - a mental health worker and a social worker to help him with day to day living and tasks, a friend who worked in the care system who was willing to visit him weekly on a friend basis, loads of health appointments, etc etc - to no avail.  He did allow the mental health worker to visit a couple of times, then was extremely rude to (swearing at) her, ordered her out and insisted she not come again and remove him from their books.  He did the same to the social worker a couple of weeks later.  The friend he wouldn't even allow in the house.

He's had an inpatient psychiatric stay - he discharged himself after just a couple of days.  A couple of years ago he fell down the stairs at home, banging his head and splitting it open, he went to hospital by ambulance accompanied by a relative.  His head wound turned out to be superficial, the A&E doctor did a few tests and told the relative that PR appeared to have some kind of cardiac problem, but they would need to keep him in and do more tests.  The PR flatly refused and discharged himself, the A&E doc said there was nothing further they could do as he was an adult and appeared to be lucid (they were overwhelmingly busy, rushed off their feet).  The doc wrote on the discharge notes that the PR was leaving against medical advice and there was a risk of sudden death due to his undiagnosed heart problems.  PR's response to this was to become even more of a hermit and point blank refuse any further medical help.

The PR has caused all of us so many problems over the years - with police, the health service, his neighbours, his bank, tradesmen and delivery drivers, workmen who have gone to do jobs in his home, sex workers on chatlines who are just out to get his money.  He frequently rings the Samaritans (who apparently are always kind) and calls 999 to ask for an ambulance regularly....generally he rings back a short while later and cancels it, sometimes an ambulance comes and he either won't let them in, or refuses to be taken to hospital.  They always ring one of us for a chat about him.  We are concerned that he is making such a nuisance of himself that they will blacklist him - they are already overstretched, as we all know.

He flies off the handle over stupid and trivial things - this time it's because his TV has broken down - he lives alone and has 2 TVs, plus a laptop he can watch programmes on, so it's not a disaster.  He has Amazon Prime (and a healthy bank balance) so could simply order a new one!  He worked himself up into a frenzy yesterday and then started with the threats to do himself in.  At which point I blocked him.  Before anyone starts thinking I'm a right hard-hearted bitch - he's threatened suicide literally dozens and dozens of times over the years and to date has never so much as taken ONE extra paracetamol, and during his relatively 'normal' times (normal for him that is) has frequently said he hasn't got the guts to do anything to himself.  It's pure emotional blackmail when he's not getting his own way.

My relatives and I are virtually immune to it all now, it's been going on for so long and always follows a pattern - he'll throw his weight about and make a downright nuisance of himself, getting very abusive in the process, until he finally burns himself out and goes quiet for a day or two, before spending the next week or so deleting all the foul messages he put in texts and on FB, slagging us all off, and bending over backwards issuing ridiculously OTT apologies and saying how much he loves us all.  It's exhausting.  He has no quality of life and regularly disrupts our lives.  It's not going to end well, we all know that.  Frankly, it will be a relief all round when it does.

I've turned off comments, this is just to get things off my chest.

Got it! And ouch

 I think I've got the hang of tree painting now.....well, my watercolour efforts need more practise, definitely, but the acrylic attempts have come on in leaps and bounds.  I've learnt a lot - brush handling, size and type of brushes to use, don't load the brush with too much paint, use a bit of scrap paper for the first few strokes to take off excess paint.  Don't rest your hand on what you've just painted! 😂 I'm enjoying the process a lot, it's fun.  I'll put some pictures on when I'm ready for my efforts to be seen in public! 😁

There's a municipal park in Minehead town centre....well, just off the town centre, although I was aware of it we've never actually been there before, despite living here nearly a year now and having been frequent visitors to the town for years.  So I decided we'd go for a look and walk around yesterday - I thought it best not to take Betty on our initial visit as, although dogs are allowed, we didn't know what it was like.  Just as well we didn't - there were loads of squirrels there, a dozen or so....Betty hates squirrels with a passion, so she'd have been barking her head off constantly.  It's about 3 acres in size, paths everywhere around loads of well-maintained flower beds, lots of trees of all shapes and sizes - almost an arboretum, there are that many trees.  Loads of flowering shrubs and plants still in flower, beds full of newly planted winter pansies.  There's a bandstand, lots and lots of bench seating, a playground for children, some sporting facilities.  And a cafe!  So in we went for a coffee and cake - my suggestion, of course.  The cake was nice - I had raspberry and cream sponge, husband had a large date and ginger cookie.  The coffee though was only so-so, I've had better.  But now we know it's there, it'll be a nice place to pop to for a stroll when in town.  It's very well maintained by the local Council, and some of the flower beds are sponsored and taken care of by volunteers and local businesses, it's a credit to them all.  So I did get my coffee and cake, albeit a day late!

K, I did laugh at your surprise present of a marrow from your husband!  Did he cook it - now that would have made it worthwhile 😂😂  My husband did once ask me, years ago, if I wanted a new ironing board for my birthday....he didn't make that mistake again after seeing the expression on my face.

Yesterday afternoon the problem disc in my lower back popped out again whilst I was putting some stuff in the airing cupboard....normally I can pop it back in with a bit of wiggling around, but not this time.  It was blimmin agony for a few hours, I could neither sit nor stand comfortably, I settled for some painkillers (codeine, so now I'll be constipated for a day or 2 😠) and a hot wheat bag behind my back in my armchair.  Had a bit of an uncomfortable night (didn't need my wheat bag, Betty pressed up against my back was warmth enough.....although she does fidget a lot!), but it's easier this morning, I think the disc has gone back in.  Just a rather sore ache now.

Birthday

 My birthday was yesterday.  I did the shopping first thing whilst husband was at the gym.  Back home, after unpacking and putting the shopping away, I prepped lunch and dinner - my choice of food.  I did savoury filled croissants for our lunch - ham and Swiss cheese for husband, the cheese and sliced mushrooms in mine, I heated them up in my sandwich maker to melt the cheese.  We were having a (bought) salmon wellington for dinner, I did sliced new potatoes and leeks in a cheese sauce to go with it, along with peas.  Yummy.  A bought lemon & clementine mousse thing for dessert.

I suggested we go out for a drive after lunch, and a stop off somewhere for coffee and cake.  Husband suggested Dunster beach - not much of a drive, it's only about 10 minutes away!  And I'm not sure if the cafe on the holiday camp there is still open now, it may well be seasonal as the chalets aren't open all year round.  So I suggested somewhere further afield and where we hadn't been before, such as a drive up into the hills and across Exmoor, ending up at Lynton/Lynmouth and then taking the coast road home.  So that's what we did.  We saw lots of scenery, sheep, cows and wild Exmoor ponies - well, glimpses of them as we rushed past at the speed of light 😒😂.  Going out in the car for husband means A to B, it's all about the destination not the journey, he never thinks to stop (or even slow down!) to take in the views.  We didn't stop for coffee either, despite passing 3 tea rooms along the way.....which husband didn't even notice as he has tunnel vision when driving.  I'm not blaming him, he doesn't do it deliberately - he was a professional HGV driver most of his working life so he's always been used to getting to where he was going, unloading and then getting back to the depot asap, he doesn't know any different really and doesn't do driving for fun - it's a means to an end.  I do understand that.  He also drives too fast - I'm not saying he speeds (although he has been done for speeding twice in the past - not in his lorry I might add!), but he always drives at (or just above if he thinks I'm not watching) the speed limit.

Whenever husband has had a significant birthday, all throughout our married life, I've arranged something special for him as a surprise - a short break, day out, family get together, meals out.  He's never done that for me - not at all.  He rarely buys me anything either, he'll generally tell me to buy something I want and he'll pay for it.  At least that means I always get what I want!!  It's not that he doesn't love me - I know he does.  He's just got zero imagination and doesn't think at all.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not feeling sorry for myself - after 41 years of marriage I'm totally used to it.  But it would just have been nice to have a surprise gift or special day out, even once.  It's not going to happen now, not after all this time and with his future declining cognitive state.  I guess the writing was on the wall when we were first courting, and our first Valentines day came up, we'd been going out just under a year then.  I got him a card....he didn't get me one.  When I expressed my disappointment, he gave me 50p out of his pocket and suggested I buy myself one if it meant that much to me!  (he's never been a fan of what he calls 'pointless celebration' days).

Back home, I had a go at some watercolour painting of simple Christmas type pine trees.....the first couple weren't even recognisable as trees!  By the 6th, 7th and 8th attempts though, there was a distinct improvement.  All the artists I've watched on videos make it look so easy - well I dare say it gets easier with time and lots of practise.  I'll carry on having a go with both watercolours and acrylics, at this early stage though I think I prefer acrylics - watercolour paint is very unpredictable, the water makes the paint go everywhere! 😂 (which I guess is kind of the point!).

Dismal

 I've just been outside to hang washing on the line and it's dismal out there....misty with that dampness in the air and very cold, my fingers were freezing.  Just put the heating on...the room thermostat says 18 deg but it feels much colder, husband said he's feeling the cold as well.  I doubt very much that the washing will dry, it'll have to go on the airer in front of the hall radiator when I get it in later.  No rain forecast for today, but supposed to be misty all day.  Very similar weather forecast all week, not a bit of sunshine to be seen on the weather app.  How dreary.

I didn't get any painting done yesterday - having been a dull morning, by lunchtime it had changed to very dismal with fine misty rain and so dark we had to switch lights on.  This sort of weather I find so depressing.  Sigh.  Never mind, it'll soon be Spring! (I have to keep telling myself that).

Husband has just had a phone call from the GP (he actually remembered to put the phone on loudspeaker so I could hear the conversation), he'd rung to tell husband the results of the nerve conduction tests he had on his feet a couple of weeks ago.  The tests showed he has diabetic neuropathy in both his lower legs and feet, to accompany the background retinopathy in his eyes.  This is all very strange really, as husband is only borderline diabetic (on no medication for it, diet controlled only), diagnosed 4 or 5 years ago.  Whereas I've been diabetic for about 12 years and am on meds, mine is well controlled and I always get praised by the diabetes nurse at my annual check up for having such good control.  I have no diabetes related problems - no retinopathy or neuropathy, so I asked the GP why husband has.  He said basically I'm lucky and husband isn't! (said with a laugh).  He said there's no rhyme or reason to it, some people are just unluckier than others, everybody is different.  Unfortunately, there's no treatment for the neuropathy, other than pain relief which husband says he doesn't need as it's not particularly painful.  The GP said it may get worse with time, or it may not.  It does explain why husband is unsteady on his feet and is always stumbling.  The GP said he must take good care of his feet and especially not walk around barefooted, as with having less sensation in his feet, he could possibly tread on something and hurt his feet and wouldn't necessarily feel it.  When he goes to the loo in the night he rarely puts his slippers on, so I've told him he must.  No doubt he'll forget, so that's something else I'll have to keep reminding him about.

Talking of forgetting, husband has been doing that a lot lately.  This morning he insisted I told him we were going shopping today - we're not, I'd already told him - twice - yesterday that when he goes to the gym tomorrow, Wednesday, he'll be dropping me off at the supermarket and I'll do the shopping then (by myself!  Without him rushing me around and putting stuff in the trolley that either I don't want or need, or that I've already put in myself 😒.  So it'll be bliss to do it by myself).  He also forgot to ring his daughter at the weekend, despite me reminding him several times, and then rang her yesterday during the day.....forgetting that she was working and isn't supposed to take personal calls at work.  Some days he's more forgetful than others, I expect he'll get back to 'normal' - his normal - in due course.

I had a lie-in this morning - not intentionally, I had a bad night and didn't get to sleep until well after 02.00 am - no particular reason, I'm not worrying about anything (well, unless it's subconsciously), it was just one of those nights I think.  I normally get up around 06.30 - I've always been an early riser - but this morning it was 07.20.....nearly an hour later than normal.  Even husband was up before me.

You don't know until you try

 I think part of the reason for my current down in the dumps feeling is that we're at home a lot - apart from shopping, and short daily dog walks (even Betty's not keen on long walks now she's getting older) we don't really go out much.  Husband has gone off to the gym again this morning, he's quite enthusiastic about it at the moment (well, as enthusiastic as he gets about anything).  How long that will last I don't know, he does get fed up of things quite quickly, but I'll certainly encourage him to keep going.  The fact that he's paying a monthly direct debit for it may keep him going there, he won't like the thought of wasting money if he doesn't go.  So one day a week I will make a point of getting him to drop me in town on a gym day, and tell him I want at least 1.5 hours to mooch around - if he chooses to finish the gym early like he did last week, then he will have to go in one of the cafes (there are lots in town) and wait for me there.  And one day a week we will go out for a drive, taking Betty with us - there are lots of places around here we've not yet been to, so it'll be good to do more exploring.  Being at home a lot doesn't bother me overly, as such - I can always find plenty to do - but I do get a bit stir-crazy sometimes.  As I've said before, husband has no indoor hobbies whatsoever, apart from the odd game of chess or sudoku on his computer.  If he's not playing those, then he's watching (or rather, falling asleep in front of) the TV, he'd happily watch it all day long.

I've made dog biscuits this morning - banana, peanut butter and oat flour.  I only buy 100% pure peanut butter, absolutely no additives, so nothing nasty like xylitol (which is toxic to dogs) or palm oil.  Betty's just had one to taste test and clearly approved, as she ate it straight away.  Well, she gave it a good licking before crunching it up 😁.

Husband has bought me 2 pairs of pyjamas and a pair of leggings for my birthday.....well, I got them and he paid, which means I get exactly what I want.  It's forecast to be overcast but dry and not very windy all week, so I think we'll go for a drive on Wednesday, my birthday - we'll probably take a packed lunch, including for Betty, and maybe get a coffee out somewhere.

I've watched loads of videos now for watercolour tree and flower painting.....I think it's time I just went for it and did it, so that's what I'll do this afternoon.  For some reason, I feel less confident about watercolour painting than I did about acrylics...not sure why!  What could go wrong - it's just trying out a bit of painting, just for myself - it's not a commission or a masterpiece! 😂 Anyway, I won't know if I can paint well enough for Christmas cards unless I actually get on and do it....

Introspective

 I'm 65 next week - how on earth did I get to be so old?! 😲 I don't feel 65 at all......although my joints will probably disagree!  Although I don't like the thought of getting older (who does?), I'm not complaining - it's a privilege to reach this age, many people don't.  I'm thankful I wake up every morning, and am relatively healthy.

Having said all that, I'm feeling quite introspective at the moment, a bit down in the dumps if truth be told.  This time of year has never been my favourite, especially December - several death anniversaries of close family and friends, a couple of birthdays of deceased loved ones, it's a rollover of sad events, although I do try to remember the good times and not the bad/sad ones.

Whilst moving here has, for the most part, been one of the best things to have happened to us, in one way it's not so good.  And that is that I've got nobody here who I could call a friend.  Most people here are quite a bit older than me, there are only 2 ladies around my age - one is quite bonkers, to put it bluntly, and not really someone I particularly want to get close to, she's too problematic.  The other is friendly enough, but is one of those people who is always on the go, she'll talk for just a couple of minutes before saying "Must get on, got tons to do" and rushes off.  She doesn't walk anywhere I've noticed - she marches like she's in a tearing hurry and seems to be fizzing with excess energy.  'Busy busy' seems to be her motto.  Back where we used to live, I had 2 or 3 good friends who I could have coffee and a chat with regularly, and I miss that.  Someone who I was very good friends with for more than 15 years has distanced themselves, they've been conspicuous by their absence for about a year, contact has been less and less and has dwindled to more or less nothing, which I find really sad.  And they won't tell me why.  My siblings live many miles away, unfortunately.  So I do get lonely at times.

The friend mentioned above said I should try joining some local clubs - it's all very well saying that, but I am by nature quite shy and a bit of an introvert (years of staying in the background letting husband take the limelight).  So the thought of joining something where I know nobody fills me with something like horror, actually.  I've found as I've got older that my confidence has taken a battering and I do suffer with anxiety and nerves, I've even had panic attacks on a few occasions - I do have medication for this.

I'm not sitting around moping, I do keep myself busy at home and get out for walks when I can (when the weather is dry and not too cold - I don't do walking in rough weather!).  It's just that sometimes it would be good to sit and have a coffee, a laugh and a natter with someone other than husband, who spends much of his time either watching stuff on TV that I'm not remotely interested in, or is asleep.  I have such a brilliant time when my sister, or my friend who lives the other side of the country, are here, it's a pity they both live so far away and are only able to visit a couple of times a year.

Anyway.....I've been watching a few youtube videos on painting trees and flowers using acrylic and watercolour paints.  I did some practising with acrylics yesterday, getting some valuable experience with different types of brushes and mixing colours, I've got a couple of ideas for simple Christmas cards, I'll enjoy doing those.

Loads of energy and enthusiasm (it'll soon wear off!!). And can you....?

 I've woken up raring to go this morning (quite a rarity nowadays 😂).  Husband has gone to the gym and has a short list of things I need from the supermarket afterwards.  At 8 am I was showered, dressed and standing on a stool in front of one of the double wall cupboards, which had (already!) got messy, with things all higgledy-piggledy and some items shoved to the back where I couldn't reach them.  It's all sorted out now, I've used small baskets (I had a stack of them I brought home from the caravan) to put all my herbs & spices, various gravy granules and stock cubes, and pastas in.  So now everything is kept together with like for like, in baskets where I can easily see it all.  One job done.  I've also sliced a load of red onions and they're now slowly caramelising in butter and olive oil.....some for French onion soup to cook brown rice in, as I mentioned yesterday.  The rest will be to top a red pesto, cheese and onion flatbread I shall make tomorrow, to go with southern fried chicken for husband, and scampi for me, for dinner tomorrow evening, with coleslaw and salad.

I'm having a break with my second coffee, then will make a date and walnut cake - a big traybake one that I can cut into squares and freeze half of.  The freezer is now well stocked with batch cooked meals I've made this week, plus scones and cake.  I'm all cooked out now so will be eating out of the freezer next week.

There was an article in the paper this morning about how long you can balance standing on one leg - some doctor or scientist has worked out timings according to age groups.  Apparently, if you can maintain your balance on one leg for a good amount of seconds, it's very beneficial or shows how well you're ageing, or something like that!  Anyway, for my age group the time was around 30 seconds - I only managed 18 early this morning, although I've just done it again and got to 24 this time - in my defence I do have trochanteric bursitis in my hips and a regularly prolapsing disc in my lower back, both of which affect my balance and walking/standing.  Needs improvement though!  Husband has terrible balance issues, due to his health conditions and some of the medications he's on - he could only manage 3 seconds, for his age group it should be 18 or 19 apparently.  Hopefully, going to the gym regularly (he's been 3x this week, which he says he wants to do every week) should improve his fitness.  How about you, can you stand on one leg for a good length of time?  The article was in the Mail here, if anyone's interested in reading it.

I'm going to make a start on practising painting some Christmas cards this afternoon, it'll be my first attempt at painting with acrylics.  I've got loads of drawing and painting paper and card blanks, so plenty of scope for practise.  It'll just be a simple design to start with.