Relief and improvements

 The letter from the hospital said I would be seeing the consultant or one of his associates - I saw the consultant, a short, jolly Asian man, after first having another ECG - my 7th in the past fortnight - and BP check.  After lots of discussion, him checking all my notes, ECGs, x-rays and bloods, taking my pulse and listening to my chest, he said he was confident that there's nothing much wrong with my heart, other than the slow heart rate/pulse.  He said that wasn't of particular concern, it's not excessively slow, although advised me to regularly check my BP and heart rate (I have a home monitor) and contact my GP if it gets significantly slower, or I get very breathless again.  And he said definitely ring 999 if I have chest pain, don't wait to call the GP in the morning.  He was of the opinion that my symptoms were caused by severe anxiety and stress - he said that prolonged stress/anxiety can, in his words, "do nasty things to our bodies as well as our minds".  He recommended I take my anti-anxiety med regularly - twice a day - for the time being, rather than just when I feel I need it.  When I feel the anxiety/stress are under control (i.e. when the situations that are causing me the anxiety calm down....erm, not much chance of that) and I want to come off the anti-anxiety med, I must do it gradually.  I feel reassured and relieved.

I've had another chat with husband, he's decided he definitely doesn't want to take antidepressants.  Fair enough, he's a grown man, I can't force him.  He does, however, agree that he needs to help me more, and help himself by being more active and not just sitting dozing in front of the TV all day.  I've told him it's a choice between that or taking antidepressants, carrying on the way he has been is just not fair on himself or me.  He agreed.

I'm involving him more in meal choosing and prep.....normally I just do it all, deciding what we'll eat (we often have different meals as I don't eat meat and he does) and preparing it.  He's not a fussy eater and will basically eat whatever I give him, but recently I've been asking him what he wants when I'm doing the menu planning, and when he comes into the supermarket with me I get him to choose what meats he wants.  So far it's working out well, he's showing more interest, has offered to cook a few times and even come up with suggestions for meals.  He's also starting to get into the habit of watching a programme on TV and then switching it off, rather than keeping it on and aimlessly flicking through channels.  So some progress is being made.  He now knows we have to work together to help each other, I can't continue struggling on to cope with everything by myself.