Still worrying

 I've got the appointment at the rapid access chest clinic this afternoon, the letter says to get there 15 mins before the appointment time so I can have some tests first.  From memory of husband's visits there, that'll be (yet another) ECG, BP check and (yet more) bloods, I think.  Husband will be taking me, obviously - he asked if I wanted him to come in with me (I accompany him to all his medical appointments).  I've said no, he'll only be rabbiting away, distracting both me and the doctor, and I'll not have to worry about what inappropriate thing he'll say next....that happens a lot nowadays, he's got no filter.  I don't mind going in on my own, I prefer it actually.  Husband will drop me off and then go and have a mooch around a nearby store which has a cafe, I'll ring him when I'm ready to be picked up.  Car parking charges at the hospital are astronomical.

I am a bit worried about going, even though I'm fairly sure my recent health problems are down to stress and anxiety.  I suppose I'm a bit concerned that I won't be taken seriously, that I'll just be dismissed as yet another neurotic old woman (although I'm not that old!) with hypochondria.  But then I'm also worried that it may yet turn out to be something serious....even though it's unlikely.  I'm just a mass of worries at the moment, my head doesn't know whether it's coming or going.

I've got plenty to do to keep me occupied this morning - I want to do a full freezer and larder inventory, I want October to be a low spend month using up our food stores before shopping for more.  This month was supposed to be like that, only life got in the way and things went haywire.  I've got banking and some admin stuff to do as well.  Husband says he's going to cut the lawns front and back.  The Storm Agnes didn't really have much of an impact here - yes we had quite strong winds and a short burst of heavyish rain, but it all passed over quite quickly, with no damage.  Did it affect any of you much?

Betty kept me awake (well, her and my brain ticking over) a lot last night, she was snoring quite heavily and having a lot of woofy dreams - in fact I considered waking her up and making her go downstairs but couldn't face it.  I rather like her sleeping on my bed (she sleeps on a blanket on top of the duvet, not actually in it with me), generally down the bottom of the bed, with her head resting on my feet usually.  Keeps my feet warm, although I eventually have to move her off when I want to get some feeling back into them!

I said in a previous blog that you certainly find out who your friends are when you have a crisis - a couple of our friends and neighbours, and oddly enough ones who I would have thought would have been more helpful and concerned, weren't particularly.  And since then they've been conspicuous by their absence, it's like they're avoiding us.  I was worrying about that too, but now it's a case of 🤷.