Laugh or cry

 So despite husband not having dementia, he still has terrible memory and concentration problems, this is an example from yesterday.

As we were leaving the house to go to the farmers market, I asked husband if he had his wallet in his pocket....he said yes.  I knew I didn't have much cash in my purse (I rarely carry cash nowadays, most purchases being made by debit card) but I also knew he had some, he'd told me so just a couple of days beforehand.  Not all of the market stallholders use card machines, so some cash would have been useful.  Anyway, I got about 4 packs of cheeses at one of the stalls, husband took the bag and then started to walk off.....I said erm you need to pay, dear.  Oh! he says, I thought you were paying!  😖  Anyway, I haven't got my wallet, he said, patting all his pockets.  I reminded him I'd asked and he'd told me he had, just about 30 minutes before when we were leaving home!  I scrabbled about in my purse and managed to come up with just enough cash to pay.  Whereupon husband then produced his wallet from one of his pockets, but announced he didn't have any cash in it anyway! (despite telling me a few days ago he had) 😣😒  This sort of thing happens every day.  I don't know whether to laugh, cry or tear my hair out....it's usually the latter.

I've just weighed myself and am pleased to find I've lost another 2lbs, so 8lbs in total.  Husband has lost about 4lbs, he thinks.  He normally loses more than me when we're dieting but not so far this time - probably because he's still snacking between meals.  He says it's healthy stuff (nuts, fruit, lumps of cheese) and not carbs and it might well be, but is still extra calories he doesn't actually need.

We're having my homemade chicken meatloaf again today, with roasted Mediterranean veggies and cauli cheese - cooked cauli roughly mashed then cream cheese and soured cream stirred in, grated cheese on top and put back in oven.  After a few days of craving carbs at the beginning, I'm now over that and not really missing them at all.  We have chips, hash browns and jacket potatoes in the freezer, along with a couple of loaves and I've not been tempted to use any of them.  Having said that, I'm having one small slice of sourdough for breakfast, with a few baked beans and an egg.  Husband likes a cooked breakfast on a Sunday.

My back pain is easing off a bit, the pain isn't so sharp this morning so I will try doing a little bit of exercise - walking around a bit more and some gentle stretching exercises.  Not been able to do anything much at all the last couple of days, as the pain has been so severe.  We didn't walk around all of the stalls yesterday because of my back pain, and getting in and out of the car was bad enough.  But it's on the mend now - I hope.  I'll be taking a codeine and an amitriptyline again at bedtime for the next couple of nights but will stop them after that, provided my back pain continues to ease.  I'll still take the paracetamol 3 or 4x daily though, for another couple of weeks.

Marlene - exactly that.  Obviously I'm very glad husband doesn't have dementia, but the fact is the problems he's having are still there, they haven't disappeared, and no clue yet how to deal with them.  I just hope the psychologist's written report a) comes soon and b) suggests some help or support.

And Dc - yes, depression is a bummer.  Combined with the full-on stress and anxiety I'm experiencing, it makes day to day life very difficult and you're right, unless people have experienced it themselves, they have no clue what it's like, and certainly no empathy or understanding.