A mini meltdown

 We managed to buy all the last remaining things on our list - I think (hope) that's the spending done now.  I certainly hope so!

In the afternoon I had a bit of a panic attack.  I was upstairs in the big front bedroom (what was husband's bedroom).....it was all such a mess.  Husband collects pillows like other men collect socks (oh, and he's got tons of them too) - he claims he can never find a really comfortable pillow, so buys new ones every few months....only he never chucks out the old ones.  He changes his pillows several times a week, flipping between the 8 or 9 spare ones, whereas I've had the same 2 pillows (1 thin, 1 thick) for a couple of years.  There were pillows everywhere, along with a few king size duvets he'd got out of the loft the other day - all surplus to requirements.  Small piles of his clothes scattered around - he just leaves them lying around rather than putting them away in his chest of drawers.  Several boxes, some packed (by him, and nothing written on them), some half packed.  A few dustbin bags with stuff in....for the tip or the charity shop, although I didn't know which until I checked them (husband had thrown the stuff in them).  I just stood there thinking 'where do I start??'.  And then I heard husband laughing out in the garden - he was leaning on the fence having a good old laugh and chat with the neighbour, whilst I was having a mini meltdown trying to get stuff sorted.  I'm very conscious of the fact that we are MOVING HOUSE in less than two weeks' time!!  And there is still so much to do.  Husband, due to his cognitive impairment, has absolutely no sense of time or urgency, I have to stick a rocket up his backside to get him moving.

When he came in from the garden, I let him know how stressed and panicky I was feeling, because of all the things still to do.  To his credit, he did immediately come upstairs with me and together we got most of the room sorted.  We're going to the bungalow today, taking more things over - rugs and lampshades we bought yesterday, a small desk bought second hand for husband's computer, and a few packed boxes to empty and bring back.  I've told husband that Friday we will be making a couple of trips to the tip and charity shop, things to get rid of are beginning to pile up here and I need the space.  He also needs to burn a carrier bagful of stuff with personal details on.

I actually slept well last night (sheer exhaustion I think) although awake ridiculously early again, and feel ready to tackle everything again today.