Yesterday

 Betty was heaving and retching yesterday afternoon, mostly dry heaving but once or twice a bit of vomit. We'd put her outside each time, whereupon she immediately started trying to eat grass or other plants - which I'm not keen on her doing as I'm not sure without looking up each individual plant whether they're toxic to dogs.  When I've put her out, I watch her to discourage her from eating anything.....when husband puts her out, he doesn't even stay out in the garden with her.  I asked him to make sure he does - whereupon he immediately started arguing with me, getting quite irate.  I tried to explain that if we have to take Betty to the vets, yet again, because she's eaten something she shouldn't, it's going to cost even more (and never mind all the added stress and time and worry and me having to sort out the insurance) and then he'll be moaning yet again.  When I wondered out loud if she'd possibly eaten something she shouldn't, husband casually, as an afterthought, said 'oh she was eating a lot of grass in the field when I took her out after lunch'.  So that's probably what it was - she'd got bits of grass stuck in her throat.  I'm not against her eating grass per se, my only concern about it is that she often grabs long stems of grass and can't chew them properly, just basically swallowing them down.  So I'm always worried it'll get stuck in her throat or digestive system.  I have mentioned it to the vet in the past, who confirmed there's nothing wrong with dogs eating grass as such, the problem is if it gets stuck in their throats.

This morning when I got up, Betty had been sick (a fair amount) on the front doormat, there was a lot of grass mixed in with it, some pieces 2 or 3 inches long.  So that's what it was that was making her heave.  She seems fine now, thank goodness - I would have insisted on taking her to the vets if she hadn't been.

Yesterday afternoon I asked him to cut the front lawn, which isn't lush and green due to the prolonged hot weather, but has a lot of long dry spiky bits of grass and some runners from the hedgerow sprouting up in it - I wanted it cut so that Betty can't keep trying to eat it.  He'd got nothing else to do, he was having a lazy day (for a change!! 😣 ha bloody ha) watching TV or playing on his computer.  He didn't do it.  So I've asked him again this morning, and said I want it doing today and explained why.  

Things like this are a daily occurrence - husband is contrary, argumentative and cantankerous, he won't listen to me trying to explain anything, he just argues and gets verbally aggressive.  He won't just do as I ask, he has to answer back and argue, nearly every time.  But then there are other times, albeit very few and far between lately, when he's been helpful without me even asking.

It's wearing me down so much, when I get up in the morning I just think 'what's he going to be like today?' and I really don't want to face the day sometimes.

He's just taken Betty out, I asked him to please keep an eye on her (he's oblivious to what she's doing when he's out with her) and don't let her eat anything, and once again he's backchatted me, rolling his eyes and snapping at me.

This is my reality, every day, it's like living with an obnoxious, lazy, rude teenager.  I know he's probably shitting himself over his next round of memory tests next week, and the possible outcome - does he not think I have the same worries?  Even more so, as I'm the one who has to deal with the practicalities of it all, as well as the normal day to day stuff.  I've been in tears already this morning.

Thank you all so much for your support, it means a lot, even if it is all through the internet.