RIP Dave

 I was so saddened this morning to read that Dave Myers, one half of the Hairy Bikers, died last night, the news was announced on social media by his partner, Si King.  I cried when I read it, it feels like we've lost a very dear friend.  Si and Dave were joined at the hip, and I just cannot imagine how Si is going to carry on with his TV work without his best mate by his side.

They were two of my absolute favourite TV chefs - Dave the more serious one, Si the daft one who played the fool....although he clearly wasn't a fool.  Together they made a fantastic partnership, they bounced off each other and their deep bond was very clear.  I really like cookery programmes that aren't just a patronising poncy chef in a hugely expensive kitchen, but down to earth people who we as ordinary people can relate to and are passionate about food - their own or other people's.  Their shows were as much travel programmes as cookery shows, in the same way Rick Stein's (another of my favourites) programmes are.  They were so interested in the culture and food of other places, and weren't too high and mighty to be really keen on being shown by another chef how they did things - they loved to learn new things (Rick Stein even takes notes when he's watching another chef make something).

The Hairy Bikers have a current series on TV, their last one of course, they're travelling down the west side of our country, I've been watching every Tuesday and have been struck by just how unwell Dave looks in it, how thin and pale and drawn he is, although his enthusiasm and enjoyment still shines through.  It's so sad to think this will be the last series of theirs.  What an absolutely lovely man he was.

Betty smells lovely, and patience needed today!

 For Betty's grooming sessions at the old place, we used to take her to the local agricultural college, they teach dog grooming there so always needed dogs for the students to practise on, always overseen by the teacher, of course.  Betty seemed to like going there and the teacher always said she was a delight to groom, so friendly and well behaved.  We can't continue taking her there now though, it's too far away, so we had to find a new groomer....sadly there's no college one round here, pity as it was so cheap! (non profit making).  The first one we found nearby had excellent reviews, but was booked up for months in advance, she did however give us the name of a colleague/friend who she said would probably have availability.  I looked her up on FB and she also had good reviews, so I took a chance and rang her last week, she could fit Betty in this week.  Quite close to where we live, in a small hamlet, a pretty white painted thatched cottage, she has a dog of her own who was barking in the window when we arrived this morning.  I always worry a bit when taking Betty to any new place, be it groomer or vet, as she is quite an anxious dog, despite looking like a big bruiser.  She didn't like the groomer's dog barking, it unnerved her, she's not keen on other dogs (the dog is shut away in another room) and I had to calm her, the groomer also fussed over her and that seemed to help Betty calm down too.  The groomer seemed a lovely (older) lady, certainly very experienced, and I felt reasonably happy about leaving Betty there.  Claire rang us just over an hour later to say we could come and pick Betty up - everything was fine, Betty was very happy to see us (she always is) and Claire said she'd been a total sweetheart and no trouble at all.  So I'll feel confident about taking her there again, even though the cost is 3x what we paid at the college - well, obviously the college only charges enough to cover their costs, so we've been spoilt really all this time.

The blimmin weather is back to being rainy, dreary and with a cold wind, aren't we all just so fed up with this?!  It's going to be like it tomorrow and Friday as well, although it's supposed to be drier at the weekend - but also quite a bit colder.  I've even heard mention of sleet or snow in some parts.  It's so frustrating when we want to get going on the garden.

Husband had ordered a couple of things off ebay (his favourite website!) - I dread it when he does, as quite often they turn out to be the wrong things, for some reason or other.  He'd ordered these things without telling me, I only knew when I saw the confirmation emails (they're in my name).  One of them was.....or so he thought.....a framework with a plastic cover to sit on top of the new raised veg bed, a sort of cloche, the other thing was a new battery for his phone....I'm not even convinced he needs a new battery as he hardly ever uses his phone and it's not that old anyway.  Well, the battery arrived today - and it's the wrong one, doesn't even fit in his phone.  And, having had a look at the plastic cover thing which the email said will be arriving on Saturday, it's not just a framework with a cover - it's a complete enclosed raised bed thing, like an all-in-one fully enclosed mini hothouse, with a 6" deep plastic planting base.  So it won't be able to go on top of the raised bed as a cover, as it's got a built in base.

Because he's dyslexic, and also due to the cognitive impairment, he doesn't tend to read the description of anything, he basically just looks at the pictures.  And he's so bloody stubborn, he won't often ask me for help.  So it's another two things which are no use - although, to be fair, I suppose we could use the enclosed mini hothouse thing as another small raised bed.....but it's definitely not the cloche he thought it was.  As for the battery, I shan't bother going to the trouble of returning it (which I'd have to do myself, husband wouldn't be able to) as it was dirt cheap anyway (so would probably only have lasted 5 minutes even if it did fit his phone!).  He said he thought it was a genuine Nokia battery - it clearly isn't, even I can see that, and it would have been obvious from the dirt cheap price anyway!  Or it should have been obvious 😠

Honestly, he can't be trusted.

Betty's been asleep on my bed ever since we got back from the groomers, she always sleeps it off for a couple of hours after a grooming session, must be all the excitement.

Husband has the TV on (of course!) and is also playing around with his phone....he's just discovered he can get the radio on it and had that blasting out at high volume as well!  So I've come into my bedroom and closed the door for a bit of peace and quiet.  I don't know what's worse - him snoozing and snoring in his armchair whilst the TV plays to itself, or him being awake and making a load of noise 😂😒

Grooming!

 Thanks for your lovely comments, moving here has really perked us both up no end.  In fact, this morning husband said he wants to get a little plastic greenhouse for seedlings - which is amazing, he's not shown any interest at all in gardening for...well, nearly a year.

An envelope arrived from Cherie this morning, containing several little home made packets of veg seeds - thanks so much.  So we popped to the garden centre to get some seedling pots and trays - it's too early to start the seedlings yet, but we'll be able to get going quite soon, so want to be ready.  We also picked up another bag of vermiculite for the raised bed, husband will be collecting a few more bags of compost from a cheaper supplier in Bridgwater on Saturday.  

I'm booked in with my lovely neighbour/friend from the old place for a haircut on Saturday, husband will drop me off there and then go on to Bridgwater to get the compost and pop into Aldi to pick up a month's worth of the frothy coffees I like, and his decaf teabags.

I'm also going to a beautician next week, for the first time in probably about 30+ years.  When I was working in town up in the Midlands as a secretary, I did go for facials and make up sessions very occasionally, but nowadays I don't even bother with make up.  However, I'm very conscious that my eyebrows have faded in colour - and thickness - with age and are now almost invisible, which sort of leaves my face without definition, if you know what I mean!  So with the wedding coming up, I've decided to go and have an eyebrow shape and tint....although I will be telling the beautician I don't want those thick black painted on brows that those silly reality stars seem to like 😂

We're waiting for the Housing Support lady to come, either today or tomorrow, so we can ask her to show us the bookable guest room in the community centre.  A few of our relatives have expressed an interest in coming to visit us, as the guest room is only a very short walk away it'll be an ideal place for them to stay for a couple of nights, obviously they'll have meals with us or we'll go out.  I want to see what it's like first though.

Betty's going for her first grooming session since we've lived here, tomorrow morning.  The lady seems nice, she works from home, has a dog of her own and has good reviews.  So with husband doing things to get fitter (he's got his bowls club tonight....not that that's very energetic!), we're all having health or grooming sessions, one way or another!

Changes for the better

 I was lying in bed last night, during a - now rare - period of wakefulness, thinking about how our lives have changed since moving here.  And they have changed - for the better in lots of ways.

1.  We are both sleeping better - husband claims to still have lots of wakeful periods but I dispute that - his idea of not sleeping means not being able to drop off for about 10 minutes, and he's certainly not awake for longer than that (I can tell by his breathing).  I certainly sleep better, it doesn't take me very long to drop off and, although I do wake up several times during the night, I nearly always get back to sleep fairly quickly, last night was an exception.  I'm also waking up later in the mornings now - in the old place I always awoke around 05.00, now it's usually between 06.15 and 07.00.

2.  No stairs!  And a lovely level access wet room, so no having to climb in and out of a bath now to have a shower.

3.  More people around us, lovely friendly neighbours, no constantly barking dogs (next door neighbours at the old place had a cockapoo who howled and barked all day long whilst they were out at work).

4.  We are using less fuel for the car - shops, GP, garden centre etc are all much, much nearer.

5.  Weekly visits from the Housing Support Officer, to check we're ok and report any problems to.  The knowledge that we have very supportive landlords.  And, best of all, that we have a lifetime tenancy - when you rent privately, knowing you have security of tenure is hugely reassuring.  Also, the Lifeline alarm thing, so if either of us collapses or has an accident in the home, we can summon help at the press of a button.

6.  A community day centre for the use of tenants less than 100 yards away, a village hall around 2-300 yards away which holds coffee mornings and activities most days, and a large recreation hall and games field half a mile away, where they have lots of activities, book and plant sales, summer fair, car boot sale.  Husband now goes to bowls club every Tuesday, which he enjoys - there were no activities anywhere near our last place.

7.  We both have a renewed interest in gardening here - at the last place husband had lost interest in the garden entirely, and even I wasn't keen towards the end.  It's a nice low maintenance garden, of a good manageable size, we have lots of plans for it and are enjoying working together to achieve these plans.  The Housing Association employs contract gardeners to mow the front lawns, prune trees and hedges at the front, cutting down on work for us.

8.  I am so much happier here, we both are actually.  I wasn't particularly happy living in the old place - I hadn't even realised just how unhappy I was there until we moved here.  I feel much more settled and relaxed, so most of my long-term stress has largely gone.

After lots more rain yesterday and through the night, it's been dry and mostly sunny this morning, albeit with a strong cold wind.  So we've been in the garden again, mixing compost and vermiculite and shovelling it into the new raised bed.  Stopped for a rest and lunch now - and because we've run out of compost, probably 6 more bags needed, we'll pop out and get those this afternoon.

An allergic reaction

 Marlene suggested I might have touched something in the garden and then rubbed my eye, which possibly gave me an allergic reaction.  Do you know, Marlene, I think you might be right - and Kath suggested taking antihistamines, which I had done for the last couple of days, so I guess that relieved it.  Yesterday morning, after working in the garden for a while, wearing gloves - I always wear gloves working outside - my eye began to sting again.  I never touch my face with the gloves on, but I think I'd probably rubbed my eye straight after taking the gloves off, before washing my hands.....I guess whatever it was on my gloves transferred to my fingers when I was taking them off.  I've been pruning and weeding all around the garden, so who knows what plant has set off this reaction?  So I washed my hands again and took another antihistamine and the stinging began to subside again.  I do get hayfever, odd skin rashes now and then and sometimes have a bad reaction to bites and stings, so I guess my body just hates nature! 😂😂  I think it'll probably be best to take an antihistamine first, each time I'm going to be doing something in the garden.  And remember to wash my hands immediately I take my gloves off!

Husband lined the inside walls of the raised bed with plastic - he bought a roll of heavy duty bin liners, which did the job perfectly.  We've filled the bottom of the bed with the various layers of old prunings, cardboard and chopped up comfrey leaves, we'll start on the compost and vermiculite on Monday, I think we did enough yesterday (more rain forecast today, and our backs need a rest anyhow).  The previous tenant's green bin full of old prunings had been left on the pavement at the front of the bungalow as it was too heavy to move - the recyclers wouldn't take it as the previous tenant hadn't paid for the past year......well, she had dementia and then died, so she had a good reason for not paying!  Anyway, we found out why it was so heavy - we had to take our (new) wheeled trug thing out there and empty spadefuls out of the bin into that - under the top foot or so of prunings, there were empty wine bottles, lager cans, old plastic food tubs, 2 or 3 dozen cigarette packets.....and then a load of old soil and gravel in the bottom!  How is that green recycling?  Honestly, what a cheek whoever filled it up had, how naughty of them.  So it took us ages to empty it out and lots of the rubbish went into our various recycling bags and boxes.  As I was chopping up the comfrey leaves yesterday, in view of Scarlet's advice that it's very irritant, I threw my gardening gloves away afterwards.  They're cheap enough to buy, I'll get a few more pairs the next time we go to town.

Husband takes 14 tablets a day, half in the morning and half at night.  He tips them out of his dosette box into his hand, before throwing them into his mouth.  Well, obviously unbeknown to him, he dropped one Friday evening, it landed on the floor beside Betty's water bowl and stayed there all night.  I found it in the morning, it turned out to be one of his blood pressure tablets.  I was horrified - not only that he'd not taken it, but more that Betty might have found and eaten it.  She might have then become unwell (I have no idea how it might have affected her) and we wouldn't have known what was wrong with her.  It gave me a cold shiver.  He's promised to be more careful in future.

On Saturdays I don't cook anything elaborate for dinner, we like to have some kind of home fakeaway to eat in front of the TV....something like pizza and salad, burgers and chips (beef for husband, fish burger for me), pasties, things like that.  Yesterday I did us fish finger sandwiches in sourdough bread, with a melty (Emmental) cheese slice and mayo, a finger salad on the side.  It was blimmin gorgeous.

All cleared up - well, mostly

 Well, my eye problem seems to have gone as quickly as it started.....well, it hasn't totally gone but is heaps better.  Yesterday morning I was all set to ring the GP as soon as they opened and try to get an emergency appointment, but by the time I'd showered and dressed, my eye was already improving a lot.  As the morning wore on, the burning pain completely went, the swelling and discolouration reduced considerably.  This morning the redness of the eyeball itself has nearly disappeared, although it's still a bit watery, but apart from that it's practically back to normal.  So whatever it was, was shortlived, thankfully.  Thanks everyone for the concerns, I must admit I was a bit worried about it because of the burning pain.

I did ring the GP yesterday morning, on husband's behalf, to find out about this mystery appointment he'd had a text reminder for......seems he was booked in for an ECG.  When he went for his annual diabetes review, the nurse did a new patient check as well and said in view of his heart problems, he would be having an annual ECG.  She booked him in for it and gave him the appointment (on a card), but by the time he'd got home he'd forgotten all about it, so didn't tell me or write it on the calendar.  He'd also lost the card.....😒  Ah well, it's done now, they'll ring him if there's anything untoward on the ECG.

It was chucking it down again when I got up, but has slowed to a drizzle now and the sky is already brightening up, we're forecast to have sunny spells most of the day now.  So hopefully we'll be able to get out in the garden - hooray!  Our first task is to affix a length of expanding twig trellis to the back fence, for a bit of privacy (I'll put a climbing plant, honeysuckle probably, there).  Then we'll move the new raised bed into its final position, line the sides (inside) with plastic fixed in place by staples - husband did bring his staple gun!!  Then we'll fill it - firstly with the old prunings from the previous tenant's green bin, then a layer of cardboard (thank you Sue for that idea, we've got plenty of cardboard boxes from our move).  The next layer will be the chopped up comfrey leaves - thank you to all of you who suggested that - and finally a mixture of compost and vermiculite.  Then we'll leave it to settle for 2 or 3 weeks before we start putting anything in there.

It feels like we're starting to make progress now on the garden, I'm really looking forward to the weeks ahead.

A phantom punch in the eye!

 Yesterday early evening we went to the Minor Injuries Unit at the local cottage hospital, I'd had a red eye the day before, which didn't seem to be causing any problems, but yesterday morning when I woke up it was very red and sticky, and a bit sore.  I put it down to conjunctivitis, which I used to get quite often years ago when I was working and wearing eye makeup, but I've not used makeup for years and so hadn't had conjunctivitis either.  However, I don't recall conjunctivitis being painful, it just gave me a sticky eye that's all.....yesterday my eye got sorer and sorer as the day wore on, it was a burning stinging pain as if I'd had a boiling hot spoon pressed into my eye.  The pain wasn't only in the eyeball, the skin surrounding the eye also had this burning stinging soreness, and started to turn a blueish red all around the eye, as well as being swollen:-

It began to look like I'd been punched in the eye!  (The photo doesn't really show the discolouration, although the surrounding skin does look swollen).

The hospital wasn't particularly busy when we got there, we were sitting in the waiting area for just over an hour, during which time two sets of parents came in (separately, they weren't together) both with small children who were clearly unwell....in fact one looked almost comatose.  Both sets of parents were ushered in to the treatment rooms almost immediately, rightly so.  Eventually, a nurse came out and told us all (there were only 4 or 5 others besides us) that both children were very poorly and they were having to concentrate on them, naturally, so said we'd either have a long wait or else we could go and come back first thing in the morning.  I said we'd go - what's a sore eye in comparison to a very poorly child?  The nurse had a quick look at my eye and said she didn't think it was conjunctivitis, more like blepharitis....she said there wasn't really any treatment for it other than bathing it with cooled boiled water, they'd only give me antibiotics if it showed signs of infection.   

It was sticky again when I woke up this morning but not quite as sore, however, my eye's nearly shut now and the skin surrounding it is even more swollen.  Definitely looks like I've been punched by a phantom boxer!

We had a lovely time yesterday morning catching up with my brother and SiL, it seems ages since we last saw them.  We made arrangements for the journey up to the Midlands for the family wedding in three weeks, husband is going to take me to the nearest service station on the M5 and bro will take me from there.....obviously reversing things on the way home.  They loved our new place and were impressed with our garden plans.  Speaking of which, it looks like it'll be Monday before we can do any more in the garden, the weather isn't going to be playing ball over the next few days.  Honestly, isn't it depressing?  And it's meteorological Spring in a week's time!  

Husband has a mystery GP appointment this afternoon, he got a text reminder about it late yesterday.  He claims to have no knowledge of this appointment, either making it or what it's for, it's not written on the calendar either 😒.  He'll have to ring the surgery when it opens this morning, to find out more about it.  I suppose I'd better see if I can get an appointment about my eye!

Drat!

 Thank you for all the comments, we're really pleased with the raised bed, husband has done really well.  Can't wait to start filling it now - although he's got to line the inside of it first with plastic, and then we'll empty the contents of the previous tenant's green bin into the bottom of the bed first, before filling with compost.  However, it'll be a case of waiting for a break in the rain before we can do anything else outside, the forecast is rubbish for the next few days again, in fact it's hammering down right now.

Julia, you asked if the plants I thought were foxgloves could be comfrey, and HH thought it was too.  Having googled both comfrey and foxglove leaves and studied them closely, comparing them with the photos I took, I think you're right, they are comfrey.  Thanks for that, I'd have been a bit disappointed having dug them all up and transplanted them in the new bed, to then find they weren't foxgloves!  Comfrey has smooth edged leaves apparently, whilst foxgloves are tooth-edged - well the ones in our garden are definitely smooth edged.  Drat!!  I was really looking forward to foxgloves, I love them!  I had quite a few in our old garden.  I might keep one or two of the comfrey plants, but the rest will be dug up and chucked - there are loads of them and I don't want that many.  Although, having said that, I know you can make fertiliser with comfrey leaves, so perhaps we might do that - free and natural!  Will have to get hold of a bucket with a lid to make the comfrey tea in, as apparently it doesn't smell very nice.

We popped out to buy some more garden tools yesterday, and compare compost prices in various places - it's certainly shot up in price (hasn't everything?!).  

Once I'm showered and dressed I'll be making cheese scones, ready for brother and SiL arriving mid morning....scones of any kind are always best eaten fresh aren't they?  The air fryer does do them well, I'm pleased to say.

Good job! 👍

 Here's the raised bed husband has built for growing our veggies - hasn't he done well!  Those two uprights have been cut level.  It's about 6 feet long by 3 feet wide and 2'6" deep - I wanted it quite deep so that a) we don't have to crouch to plant, weed and pick things, and b) better chance of it staying moist when we're away at the caravan.  When we fill it, we'll be incorporating vermiculite and water retaining crystals into the soil, to help with the moisture retention.

And here's the bed that I've been clearing of gravel, ready for planting flowers:-

Positively back-breaking and arm-aching work.....I've been sitting on my garden stool and using a trowel to shovel the gravel into a bucket, and then emptying the bucket onto other areas of the garden where the gravel is getting a bit thin.  It's about half done now, I was taking regular breaks - for coffee and paracetamol!  

This is the narrow stone-sided raised bed that's currently full of what I'm sure are foxgloves:-

A few weeds in there as well.....I'll be digging up the foxgloves and transplanting them into the bed I'm clearing of gravel.  We'll be putting strawberries in the raised bed once it's emptied of the foxgloves.

And finally, the rockery is looking very pretty, lots of bulbs coming into flower now:-

Betty had her annual check up and jab - the vet said she's perfectly fine, other than being a bit overweight....funnily enough I realised a couple of weeks back that she was getting too chunky, so had reduced the amount of treats she gets.  In the past fortnight she's lost about 1.5 kilos, so reducing the treats is working well (I need to do the same 😂😂).

Husband went out to the bowls club again last night, so that's 2 weeks running, he says he's really enjoying it and intends to keep going.  Great - for both of us.

Heavy rain last night and this morning, so no gardening today 😢

In the garden

 Weather looks pretty good for today, sunny spells rather than all day sun, but dry and not too cold, so we'll be in the garden this morning.  I want to clear the gravel off one area, about 7 or 8 feet long by 18" wide, it'll become a flower bed.  I'll fork over the bed and top with a bag of compost.  There's a rose bush and some foxglove clumps I want to move into it from other areas of the garden - the rose bush is in one of the squares that's going to be turfed over for Betty to lie on in the sun, the foxgloves in a narrow raised bed that we want to put strawberries in.  Husband will be carrying on with the construction of the veggie raised bed - after a slow start and dismantling what he'd first done, he got going really well yesterday and has completed a bit more than half of it.

This afternoon it's the vets for Betty's annual check up and jab, and popping into the supermarket to get some fresh veg and dairy.  Husband wants some more bags of compost too, we'll need a few to fill up the raised bed.  The bottom layer will be the contents of the previous tenant's green compost wheelie bin, it's full up with prunings etc, as I mentioned before, the Council recyclers won't take it because it's not been paid for (the previous tenant having died!  We're not paying for garden recycling as all our prunings etc are going in our own compost bin).

Having had a few visitors lately, we've had rather a lot of cakes, ones I've supplied and more brought by the visitors - including a sticky toffee cake covered in thick chocolate buttercream scattered with toffee pieces......yummy but teeth-achingly sweet.  Consequently, I'm feeling bloated - which is good because it makes me want to eat very healthily right now, to get rid of the bloat and aching joints.  I won't be buying or making any cakes for brother and SiL's visit on Thursday - they prefer savoury to sweet so I'll be making some cheese scones, if there's any left they can take them when they go.

Bargains and other good things

 Husband didn't have a tooth out after all, he was convinced he'd have to as the tooth is a bit loose and hurts when he bites down on it - however, the dentist said he couldn't see anything much wrong with it so didn't really want to take it out, he said it's not loose enough yet!  Husband was quite pleased as it means he can eat!

I was having a look round the charity shops whilst husband was in the dentist, and found an absolute bargain - a pair of black leather ankle boots, hardly worn, for £3.99!  The lady at the till asked if I'd be happy to round it up to £4.00, I said no make it £5.00 - she positively beamed and said how kind I was.  Well, since I was astounded at finding such a bargain, I was more than happy to pay a bit extra, especially as it was an animal charity.  I also bought a new blouse (not a charity shop) in cream, with the wedding in mind.....just so I have the option of 2 different blouses to go with my black trousers.

Two more bits of good news today.....those horrible forms I filled in for Council tax relief have been worth the aggro, we've been granted it, and it was backdated to the date we moved in here, so a nice lump sum in my bank account this morning.  And I had a text from my brother in Cornwall, he and SiL are dropping in to see us and the new place on Thursday, on their way up to Wiltshire to visit their son, DiL and grandson.  That'll be nice, not seen my brother and SiL for months, and we'll be able to make the arrangements for them to collect me and take me up to the wedding next month.

After a rainy start, it's now a lovely sunny day, husband is in the garden working on the construction of the raised bed....he's starting from scratch again as he said he'd done the first side wrong - looked alright to me, but I guess he knows what he's doing!  Keeps him busy anyway, rather than slumping in front of the TV.  I've got the lunch things to wash up and veggies to prep to go with our fish pie for dinner, then some menu planning and update the freezer inventory.

Betty's got to go for her annual check up and jab tomorrow, as the vets is near to Tesco I'll pop in there to get some more veg and dairy stuff.  Being mindful about food shopping and writing all my supermarket spends in my diary is really helping to keep the shopping spending low - well, not that low in view of the rising prices, but certainly lower than it was last year.

No that's not normal

 Thank you for all the comments regarding my choice of wedding outfit - as well as feeling comfortable, I also want clothes that I'll wear often, not be left in the wardrobe forevermore.  It makes me laugh when I read in the paper some comment about one of the Royal women called 'thrifty' because they've worn one of their outfits a second time......as if it's normal to wear something just once and then never again!

I sorted through my collection of scarves (I've got quite a lot) and discovered a nice one in exactly the right colours to go with my wedding outfit, so that's something else I don't need to buy.  Just the black ankle boots to get now, I should easily be able to get them tomorrow in town.

It's been quite a nice day today, sunny spells, dry and not cold, albeit quite windy.  There was a lot of rain overnight, several posts on FB about flooded roads locally, fortunately not here.  Husband has started building the raised bed, it'll be a lovely size when done.  I asked if he could power wash the paths in the back garden, some of them are mossy and slippery - guess what, his power washer was also left behind at the old house 😒 Silly, silly man - he knows he's been an idiot, I didn't need to tell him! 😉

We went out this morning to the garden centre - unfortunately, they don't do house plaques, it is quite a small shop as garden centres go.  No matter, there's a huge garden centre on the way to the caravan, I'm sure they'll do them in there - they do just about everything!  We'll be going to the caravan next month, so will pop in the garden centre then.  Less than a fortnight to go until the new caravan season starts.....we won't necessarily be going on the 1st March, we'll wait for a good weather day.  One of the first jobs we'll be doing is washing the exterior of the van, it tends to get a bit grubby having had all the winter weather thrown at it since last October, so we'll need a dry and warmish day for that.  We don't use a power washer on the van, don't want high force water jets being blasted into the van vents!  Just a long handled mop and bucket of soapy water does the job well enough.

I slept very well last night and feel much better now, the exhaustion seems to have gone.  However, I've got sciatica down the back of my left leg today - if it's not one thing it's another!

Our new GP referred husband to podiatry, he's having trouble with his feet again.  He had a letter from the NHS podiatry department yesterday.....it basically said that as his problem isn't classed as urgent, he won't be getting an appointment anytime soon.  Which seems to be the standard response nowadays.

Husband thinks he'll be having a tooth out tomorrow, so soft food needed for dinner - I've got a homemade fish pie in the freezer, that'll be soft enough for him.

I don't do dresses

 I've finally got my outfit for my niece's wedding sorted, more or less.  I didn't want to wear a dress - as I said before, I don't do dresses, don't own one and didn't want to buy one that I would likely never wear again after the wedding.  I've got a smart pair of black trousers which I'd be much happier in, so I've bought a purple ruffled blouse to go with them, along with a long blush pink cabled edge-to-edge cardigan (the wedding is the middle of next month so will likely be a bit chilly still).  I've got a lovely black and pink bag, now I just need to get a new pair of black ankle boots (my present ones leak) and a nice pink/purple scarf.  I'll get those on Monday.....husband has a dental appointment in Bridgwater, so I'll get him to drop me off in the town so I can look in the shops, there's a Shoezone, Next and Matalan, I'll probably see something suitable in one of those.  It'll be nice to look in the clothes/shoe shops by myself, without husband trailing round after me looking bored as hell and exclaiming "How much?!" every time I pick something up 😒.  He's such an old dinosaur and skinflint.....he won't even be paying, I will! 😂

I had a lovely surprise in the post yesterday, a garden gift voucher from a lovely blogging friend.  I'd thought initially I might buy a flowering shrub and nice pot to put it in, but have now thought of the perfect thing instead - a new house number plaque.  The present one here is very old, faded and barely even visible from the road anymore, I'd like a nice new one, preferably with a background of flowers.  I'll have a look in the garden centre, they'll probably have some nice ones.  Bloggers are the family we'd choose ourselves, aren't they?  Thank you (you know who you are), it really made my day 💕

For the last two days I've been feeling really tired, absolutely bone weary.....not sure why, it's not like I haven't been sleeping - I've actually slept fairly well.  I don't feel unwell either, so it's not a case of coming down with something.  I've done the necessary jobs this morning, now I'm just going to rest in my bedroom recliner chair and read my book (already much better than the last book), whilst husband dozes in front of the TV as usual.  Dinner's been prepped - not that there was much to do, I just boiled some new potatoes for potato salad to go with the (ready made) southern fried chicken husband requested, I'll chop up a salad in a bit.  I'll have fishcakes with my salad.  Lunchtime washing up done, kitchen cleaned, washing folded and put away, nothing else needs doing.

He behaved

 I had words with husband yesterday and told him what he said was not acceptable.  He said he knew I was upset, but yet he still hadn't apologised.  He also said it would have been better if he hadn't used the swear word (the F word) when he made the comment.....erm no, it was still an insulting comment regardless of whether or not he'd included the swear word!!  No understanding at all.  Despite him apologising - eventually - I know it'll happen again, he's got no filter along with a faulty memory, and does love showing off and being the centre of attention.  But in future I will just tell him, in front of guests, that it's not acceptable and then walk out of the room, leaving him to deal with the embarrassment and fallout.  I'm learning to stand up for myself a lot more nowadays, after years of staying in the background and keeping my mouth shut.

We had more friends come this morning, another couple who are ex-neighbours from the old place - husband promised to be on his best behaviour, and he was.  We get on very well with them, they're very keen gardeners, both veg and flowers, so we were able to bounce ideas for the garden off them.  And it was sunny and mild earlier (the sun's gone in now), hooray, so no problem about being in the garden.  We had a nice time with them.

I've got some banking and admin stuff to do this weekend, budgeting for the next few months (no Council Tax until April now, so that'll help with the savings).  I need to make a list of things to take when we go back to the caravan for the first time next month - I bring all the bedlinen and towels home with us, and all the toiletries and canned foods.  The linens etc are all washed and ready to go back, I'll buy new toiletries and some canned goods to take there.  We'll just be going for the odd day initially, we won't start staying until the weather gets warmer and dryer.

Well that spoilt it

 It actually wasn't raining when our friends came over yesterday afternoon, so we could show them the garden after all.  They liked the garden, bungalow and area, and said we both look well and relaxed.  We had a nice time with them....that is except for when husband made an exceedingly insulting comment about me, thinly disguised as a 'joke'.  Even both of our friends said that wasn't a very nice thing to say.  Husband claimed he was just kidding, wouldn't apologise and clearly had no concept of just how rude it was.  I was so annoyed that after they'd gone, I told him he was cooking dinner.  Although since he doesn't know how to work the air fryer (I've shown him numerous times but he always forgets) I had to help him out.  I know with his cognitive impairment his brain doesn't work like other peoples, and I do make allowances for that, but sometimes his rudeness goes beyond a joke.  I had another (male) friend who also thought it amusing to crack jokes at my expense - not only mine, to be fair, he did it to others as well.  Why they think it's ok to insult or run others down and then pass it off as a joke I don't know....it just adds insult to injury I think when they then claim the recipient of their 'humour' is being oversensitive.

Anyway, we had a good catch up, it seems a young couple have moved into our old house.  I hope they'll be happy there.

The incident spoilt my evening actually.  I know husband's health problems are not his fault, and the cognitive impairment makes things quite difficult for him (as does his heart failure), and by extension for me also.  It's difficult being a carer, especially when the care and support given is not appreciated.  No matter how much one tells oneself that they can't help how they are, they didn't choose it, it's also difficult to keep one's temper sometimes, I frequently have to bite my tongue and walk out of the room - I won't be a verbal punchbag.  It can be lonely and isolating at times, and you do lose friends - I've lost my best friend because they just don't understand what it's like - or they don't want to.

Well, today is another day - unfortunately, there's a weather warning for heavy rain today so I'm not going out for a walk or even in the garden, but I think once the housework jobs are done and the dinner prepped, I'll spend the afternoon in my room with my feet up, reading.  I've finally finished the really hard-going book (never again will I waste weeks ploughing through a book like that!) and have just started what I think will be a good one.  Tomorrow we have more friends/ex-neighbours round in the morning, and if the forecast sun appears in the afternoon, I might get an hour in the garden.

Things are looking up

 Thank you for the comments regarding the wood for the raised veggie beds and the bargain chairs - I'm so pleased with them.  Now we just need some nice warmer weather!

We've got one set of friends coming over for their first visit this afternoon....unfortunately, it's forecast to be heavy showers when they arrive, so we won't be able to go out in the garden to show them our plans for it, we'll have to look from the windows instead.  Another couple, also ex neighbours (as are the ones today) are coming on Friday, the weather is forecast to be much better then.  We're looking forward to seeing them and catching up.

We had a bit of a breakthrough yesterday - husband went out, by himself, yesterday evening, he went to investigate the bowls club that meets at the local village hall on a Tuesday evening.  I'd seen the bowls advertised and pointed it out to him a few weeks ago, he's always said he'd like to have a go at that but showed little interest in going.  Yesterday morning though, he announced he was going to go, just to see what it was like - well, he was gone for 2.5 hours and seemed quite enthusiastic when he got home.  He enjoyed it, got on with the others there (8 or 9 other oldies, male and female) and said he wants to go again.  So I shall be getting a couple of hours to myself every week.  

Oh, and possibly more than once a week - husband went to the GP yesterday for his annual diabetes review (he's actually borderline diabetic and doesn't need to take meds for that at least).  His numbers etc from his bloods and urine are actually ok, but he has put on weight and the diabetes nurse he saw said he's not active enough (I've been telling him that for months!!).  She said they have a referral to the gym scheme and suggested he try that - he agreed and is now waiting for an appointment for an induction course, the gym is in a hotel in town apparently.  So he might be going there regularly soon as well.  I wonder what I'll do with all this free time?!  

If he does start going to the gym, then I could get him to drop me off in town, I could have a wander round the shops by myself (bliss!) and stop for a coffee, there are several cafes in town.  Or, on nice days, take a book and bottle of water and sit on the beach....that would be lovely.

Great bargains and a hard book to read

 The chaps building the stone wall in place of a fairly new fence at the property round the corner delivered the fence wood to us yesterday, good as their word.  The wood is lovely, strong and thick, and enough of it to build two good size deep veg beds.  Husband got started on taking it apart (some of it was in sections) and removing the nails straight away - well, the sun was shining and it's forecast to be rainy on and off for the rest of the week, so I'm pleased he took the opportunity to make a start (and on his own initiative as well).

We had another stroke of luck too - I had a quick look on the local selling page on FB and saw 2 nice looking rattan garden chairs for sale, just £10 for the pair, so I messaged the seller straight away asking if we could have them.  When we went to collect them (only a couple of miles away), it turned out the seller was the son of one of our former neighbours, small world!  Just need a little coffee table to go with the chairs now, and perhaps a bench seat.  Oh, and a garden parasol....something else husband left behind.  Oh well.  I'll get a couple of cushions from a charity shop for the chairs, they always have plenty.

Here's the wood:-

There's twice as much as this.

And one of the chairs:-

Good solid heavy well-made chairs in lovely condition, I can't believe they were selling them for just £10 the pair (they'd bought new furniture).  A great bargain.

I always read in bed for an hour or so before sleep, sometimes a shorter time if I'm tired and fall asleep, sometimes longer if the book's a really good one and I don't want to put it down.  Well, my current book, this one:-

has so far taken me several weeks to read, and I'm still not finished.  Jeffery Deaver is one of my favourite crime authors, I particularly like his Lincoln Rhyme series and have all of them, apart from the latest one I think.  However, this one, a stand alone thriller, is just SO difficult to read and take in - well, it is for me anyway.....it's about a computer hacker who is a serial killer, he's choosing and killing victims according to an online game, he hacks into their home and work computer systems first.  Although the plot line is quite interesting (if a bit farfetched), the author goes into great detail about the technical computer side of things, using very specific computerspeak - all well and truly over my head and, I think anyway, somewhat unnecessarily complicated.  Several times I've been tempted to abandon the book, but the storyline keeps me wanting to read to see how they catch him, even if I can only read one chapter at a time before my brain explodes with confusion.  I shall be very glad when I've finished this book, the only other time I've taken so long to read a book was back in school when we had to read George Orwell's 1984 for English Literature - I really hated that book.

How to get jobs done

 I agree with those of you who said the thinned out and transplanted bulbs might not flower this year, but might next year - I hope so anyway.  We got out in the garden again yesterday afternoon, it was very sunny but with a bitingly cold wind so we didn't stay out all that long - 45 mins was more than enough.  I finished off the pruning, whilst husband continued cutting down the small tree and chopped it up, we got it all in the big dumpy bag for taking off to the tip this morning - we need to go into town to do another couple of jobs anyway, and the tip is near town.  Here's a couple of photos:-

Lots of bulbs coming up in the side bed - how exciting!

The rockery in front of the kitchen window, with more bulbs, some already in flower.

We're only doing a little bit in the garden at a time, it's too cold at present to be out there for long.  But I actually think it's the right way to go - we're making good progress and short periods don't tire either of us out too much.  Each time we go out there, I have a plan for what we'll be doing, just one or two small jobs at a time.  Husband isn't good at completing jobs, he gets bored quickly and flits from job to job, meaning nothing actually gets completed.....this way, with me stipulating what job we're doing, it gets done - especially with me out there with him to keep him focused on the job.

Nearly all of the garden is covered with gravel, even the beds along the back fence.  Our next job is to clear all the gravel off one of the back beds, take up the weed membrane underneath it and fork over the ground, breaking it up and adding new compost as necessary.  This particular bed is only about 7 or 8 feet long by about a foot wide, so nothing too arduous.  The stone walled raised bed where the small tree was has quite a lot of foxgloves in it, we're going to dig those up and transplant them into the cleared back bed, we're also going to move a rose bush into it (more on that another day).  The cleared raised bed will then be dug over and the tree roots removed, that will become a bed for strawberries and a couple of tomato plants.

I've got so many plans for the garden, some will be for the future, I'm not expecting us to get them all done this year.  The main part of the garden is divided into 4 quarters, bisected by concrete paths, each quarter is a bed covered with gravel apart from the rockery bed.  The gravelled beds have paving stones strategically placed on them, on which the previous tenant had had large pots of shrubs and flowers, some of the pots remained, some of those I've relocated to the front garden.  One of the gravelled beds we intend to turn into a small lawn, just about 6 feet square - Betty does like to lie on the grass in the sunshine and at the moment there isn't any grass.  We'll buy turf rather than sow grass seed, as it's such a small area it won't cost a lot.  Another bed I want an arch put up in the middle of, for climbing plants, perhaps a rose, honeysuckle or clematis.  

Once the car boot sales start....there's a big one not far from here that starts at Easter....we'll look for garden furniture, the arch, more tools to replace the ones husband left behind (and is now regretting!).

We've made arrangements to have two sets of friends round for coffee and cake this week, we've not seen them since we moved and it'll be lovely to catch up.  The two couples are coming on separate days, as we now have a much smaller place!

Gardening and cooking - my 2 favourite things

 I had a lovely morning out in the garden in the sunshine yesterday.  I did lots more pruning - just one rosebush and a couple of shrubs left to prune.....although the garden had obviously been well loved in the past, it's clearly not been looked after for pretty much the whole of last year - the previous tenant had dementia apparently, and had carers in to look after her, but the garden was left to fend for itself.  Then I tackled the huge clump of Spring bulbs, which aren't yet flowering (coming up blind) but have leaves that are 6 or 8" high.  On digging them up, it was clear to see why they're not flowering - what would be the original parent bulbs, half a dozen or so, were huge and had probably 3 or 4 dozen offshoot babies, in a hole that was a foot in diameter.  I'm still not entirely sure what the bulbs are, but they look like hyacinths to me, as do the leaves.  I spent a while separating them, some were replanted with fresh compost back in the original hole, some that were damaged when digging them up thrown in the compost bin.  The rest I planted in one of the remaining big pots that were left in the garden, I emptied the weeds out of it and took it round the front of the house, before putting in new compost and the dug up bulbs.  Whether they'll flower now they've been thinned out considerably and replanted, I have no idea, we'll have to wait and see.

Husband went out to buy me a hand trowel - he'd brought one of my small hand forks and a pair of snippers from the old place, but no trowel, oddly.  He also bought a watering can, since he'd left all 3 of ours back at the old place.  Silly man.  Never mind, we're gradually acquiring replacement tools - at his expense!  He also took a dumpy bag full of prunings and the 2 horrible untidy yuccas to the tip.

It came over very cloudy indeed and there were a few spits of rain after lunch, so no more gardening yesterday - I was pleased with what I'd done though.  It's forecast to be showery this morning but brightening up this afternoon, so I should be able to go out and finish off the pruning.

I made 4 individual size pizzas yesterday, using ready made foccacia bread bases.  I topped them with tomato and barbecue sauce, caramelised onions and little sausagemeat patties, made using skinned sausages.  A mixture of feta and Cheddar cheeses on top.  1 each for dinner last night with homemade potato and chive salad and a mixed salad, the other 2 pizzas frozen.

Today husband's having a pork loin joint, I'll cook it in the slow cooker, there'll be loads left to freeze for him to have cold for lunches or heated through with gravy for dinners.  I'm having homemade lentil & nut roast, with the usual veg.  I'm going to make that easy chocolate mousse again, this time using 2 gala apples instead of Bramleys, and 1 milk/1 plain chocolate bars, rather than both plain, since husband thought it was too bitter last time.  I'll also whip a couple of tablespoons of double cream and fold that in as well.

We're hoping to have friends round for a cuppa and cake a couple of days this week, three of them work in schools and it's half term now.

Weddings

 I'm going to a family wedding up in the Midlands next month, my brother and SiL are taking me, it's too far for husband to drive and we wouldn't be able to take Betty, so would have to make arrangements for her, which I'm not really willing to do.  I'm looking forward to spending time with family and friends I haven't seen for a long time, and to having a couple of days away from home and my responsibilities there, it'll be the first time I've had a break from it all.  However, I'm also a bit anxious about how husband - and Betty - will cope without me.  He can feed himself, no problem about that, and feed Betty of course - although he does tend to overfeed her....not that she eats all of it, she'll self regulate, but then her excess food has to be thrown away if he doesn't think to pick it up and put it in the fridge, which has happened a few times.  I'm sure they'll be fine, I'll obviously keep in contact by phone, and husband knows he's got the Lifeline thing should there be any emergency, and neighbours to chat to.

Although I am looking forward to the wedding, I have to say it's costing me a small fortune - hotel for 2 nights, meals (not included in the hotel cost), new clothes as I have nothing suitable for an early Spring wedding, and wedding gift.  I'll offer brother help with the fuel costs for the journey, although I'm sure he'll decline.  The wedding couple have said there's nothing they need in the way of household stuff, as they've been living together for quite a while, so have said nobody should feel obliged to get them anything, all they want is our company for their special day.  However, they said they would be very pleased to receive a monetary donation towards their honeymoon, although it's not expected.  But you can't go to a wedding without giving a gift (be it monetary or 'stuff') can you?  After all, they're providing a catered 3-course meal for the wedding 'breakfast', and buffet for the evening, plus entertainment, so it's only right and fair that a gift should be given in appreciation of that.  I'm thankful that they're not getting married abroad (although I wouldn't go if that was the case), and that it's not going to be a huge and expensive 'themed' wedding, as seems to be the in thing nowadays.  Obviously, everyone's wedding is their own business and choice, but to me it's always seemed ridiculous to spend an absolute fortune on a wedding when that money could be put to good use setting up a home, e.g.  Although I guess so many couples nowadays already have a home and have lived together for a while before they get married.  Husband and I lived together for nearly 2 years before we got married....and that was 41 years ago.

I got washing out on the line yesterday morning - hooray! love the smell of line dried washing, it didn't entirely dry though, I had to put it in the airing cupboard to finish off.  I didn't get any gardening done....although it didn't rain until the afternoon, the ground and all the plants were sodden, it having rained quite a lot through the night.  It's forecast to be a much nicer weekend though, so I'm hoping to get out in the garden today and/or tomorrow.

The cheese & shallot soda bread came out well, but you do need to cut the traditional deep cross in the dough, or the middle of the bread just won't cook properly in the air fryer.  It's the same with cakes, I've noticed - loaf or round tin cakes don't cook very well in the centre, although cup cakes, scones etc are fine done in the air fryer.

Garden and caravan plans - exciting!

 Cherie, you asked what we're planning on growing in the raised beds - we want courgettes, leeks, carrots and tomatoes, as that's what we eat most of and have previously found easy to grow.  We'll buy 2 little courgette plants (husband generally grows far too many from seed, 2 plants is sufficient for our needs) and a tray of leek seedlings, we've had great success with those before.  We were planning on buying carrot and tomato seeds, so if you have some spare ones Cherie, I'd be very happy to have some, thank you.  There is already an 18" deep and 12" wide bed constructed with stone walls along the side fence, it's currently got what looks like foxgloves and Spring bulbs in it (and some weeds), along with a small tree - I don't know what sort of tree but it looks suspiciously like the very large tree growing in the neighbour's garden at the back, I suspect it was a seedling that has now grown to about 3 or 4 feet high.  Well, I don't want it getting any bigger - in fact I don't really want it at all, so we might have that out - the parent tree already overhangs our garden and sheds leaves and seeds all over it.  So if we get rid of that small tree, and relocate the foxgloves and bulbs to another part of the garden, we can then put fresh compost in that raised bed and use that for veggies.  Which will save husband having to construct two raised beds himself - if I can save him work, so much the better.

As well as the garden, which I'm really enthusiastic about, I'm also really looking forward to going back to the caravan.  It's always a bit of an anxious time the first time we go back there at the start of the new season, I'm always a bit nervous about damp or burst pipes or something having broken during the winter off season - although we've never yet had a problem.  As we now live double the distance away from the van, so it will take us up to 1.5 hours to get there rather than the 40-45 mins previously, we're intending to go less frequently but stay for longer periods.  Up till now we've gone whenever the weather looked good or we just fancied it, and stayed for 3 or 4 nights or up to 10 nights.  Now we'll be staying for up to a fortnight at a time, hopefully once a month.  That's generally what our lovely van neighbours, C & J, do - they have a 3 hour journey from their home, it'll be so good to see them again.

I made the cauli mac and cheese yesterday, and cheese scones.  I'd got a pack of the value cooking bacon in the fridge, I sorted through it, separating it into rashers and pieces.  I cooked the whole lot, keeping the rashers in the fridge and freezing the pieces, for adding to dishes in the future.  Husband had a few rashers with his cauli cheese yesterday, I just had some of the Chantenay carrots I'd roasted.  We'll have a bacon sandwich tomorrow for lunch I think.  I didn't get round to making the cheese & shallot soda bread yesterday, I'll do it this morning.  

Bit gloomy again this morning but it seems the weather warning for heavy rain is no longer in force for today, it's forecast to clear up mid morning, with a shower or two this afternoon.  I want to get in the garden to empty another 2 pots that are full of weeds, dig up the big thick clump of bulbs which are coming up blind, split them up and plant some of them in the pots, to see if they'll then flower.

Good things!

 Husband was in and out in minutes for his blood test yesterday, we then went into town to browse round the charity shops.  Didn't see anything I liked enough to buy.  It was very cold - not much wind but with spits of rain in the air and very grey, we didn't hang about as I was just too cold.  I feel the cold a lot nowadays and really don't like it, it makes me feel ill almost.  

Husband has come up trumps with getting the necessary wood for our raised vegetable bed.  On his walks with the dog, he'd passed a house that was having part of a fence - a fairly new one at that, using good thick planks - taken down and replaced with a stone wall.  He asked the house owner if they wanted the fence wood - they said they were just going to chop it up and burn it in their woodburner.  So husband suggested buying them a bag of logs in exchange for some of the fence planks - they were happy with that idea, so that's what he's done.  The fence planks have already been treated with preservative (a good reason not to burn it in a woodburner, I would have thought) so we won't have to do it, saving us a job (and money to buy the preservative).  The guys doing the work are going to drop the wood round to us when they've finished.  So husband's been a good lad for once!  Now he's just got to build the raised bed....I don't expect him to do it until the weather gets warmer though.

I'm having a kitchen day today, going to make a big panful of cauli mac and cheese, some to have tonight and the rest for freezing for another couple of meals.  I'm also going to make cheese scones, a double batch - lunch today with a cuppa soup and the rest frozen.  Then I plan on making a cheese and onion (well, shallot) soda bread, first time of trying in the air fryer, although I've made it often in the oven.  It should be ok, the air fryer certainly bakes the scones well.  I want to roast some carrots too, since I have loads of them at the moment.

Husband says he doesn't feel very well today, thinks he's got a cold coming on, although it hasn't stopped him making himself a big bowl of porridge followed by a slice of toast for his breakfast just now.  Whatever it is clearly hasn't affected his appetite.....if he stopped eating then I'd know he really was unwell.  I've told him to take it easy today 😉 and even go back to bed if he feels that unwell, he said he might.  Fine by me, I've got plenty to do and it'll be good to get on with it in peace, with just the radio (I have Greatest Hits on with the lovely Ken Bruce) for company.

Since we've been living here I've been sleeping so much better, except for the odd night here and there when I've got things on my mind.  I've not been waking up until around 07.00 am, which is really late for me.  With hindsight, I've been realising that I wasn't at all happy with our lives the last couple of years back in the old place, I feel so much more positive, less stressed (on the whole) and happier here.  I think when the warmer weather comes and I'm able to get out in the garden more, and go for more walks, our new life will be wonderful.  To add to that, my sister has said that she and her best friend want to come for a week's holiday in early summer.  They came for 5 days last year, staying with us for 3 days and then a couple of nights in the hotel next to the caravan park, whilst we stayed in the caravan, obviously.  There are a few holiday cottages right here in the village, in fact we know of a couple literally just round the corner from us, so they've said they want to hire one of those for the week, which will be brilliant.  

Yellow warnings for heavy rain today and tomorrow, so we'll be staying in apart from short dog walks.  The weekend forecast looks much better though, so I might be able to get out in the garden.

Soon be Spring

 With regard to husband just sitting indoors doing nothing except dozing in front of the TV all day....I suspect (hope) that things might improve once the warmer weather arrives.  Everyone in our little close has nice front gardens, with borders, rockeries and pots, so I should think the neighbours are all out gardening and chatting when it's warm - there are a couple of benches out the front too.  So at least that will get him out of his chair (and the house) - he's quite happy to chat for ages, he'd talk non-stop for hours.  He's expressed an interest quite a few times in the past in playing bowls - as I mentioned to Happy Hooker (K) yesterday, there's an indoor bowls club on a Tuesday evening in the nearby village hall - literally just a couple of hundred yards (must say metres!!) away.  I pointed out the notice to him and the day/time and suggested he goes along.....all of a sudden he's not now interested.  It was the same at the old house, a couple of neighbours there went to play petanque at the hall in the next village and suggested husband join them....he did, twice.  He claimed then it hurt his neck and wouldn't go anymore.  He does give up on things far too easily, and has a very low pain threshold - any ache or pain and he moans about it constantly.

I'd been wanting to find my sewing box, haven't seen it since we moved in and I need to do a couple of minor repairs on clothes.  So yesterday I got husband to bring the remaining packed boxes out of the airing cupboard.....sure enough, it was in one of those.  The stuff in the boxes is all things we really don't need (or have room for), so - lazily - we put them all back.  Some of the stuff is ornaments, pictures etc, a few photo albums, some paperwork we should keep but isn't likely to be needed anytime soon, and some caravan bedding and towels, which we will be taking back to the van next month.  The ornaments and pictures we may well get round to giving to charity shops - if I get them out to display, it only means more dusting!

I made a lovely curry - well, more of a dahl - yesterday, I used a small home grown butternut squash that was given to us by one of our old neighbours back last November, it was still perfectly fine, they do store well.  I made it with red onion, red lentils, dried apricots, medium curry powder, ginger, tomato puree and coconut milk, it was delicious.  Made first thing in the morning then reheated for dinner, it allowed the flavours to develop.

I added the meat and fish I'd bought on Sunday to the freezer inventory and wrote out a few more menu ideas, I've done up to the end of February now and should only need very minimal shopping for the rest of the month.

This morning husband's got a surgery appointment for a blood test, then we're off into town for a browse around the charity shops.

Pep talk, gardening and losses

 I had (yet another) chat with husband yesterday morning.....he mostly agrees with me.  But it will no doubt follow the same pattern - he'll be more active and helpful for a few days or a week even, but then it will be back to sitting dozing in front of the TV.  Yesterday he actually did very well, helped me out with the couple of things I needed help with - like moving the 2 big heavy filled pots from the back to the front garden, using the new wheelbarrow trug thing - and then, after a rest which we both needed, carried on with his shed.  The brick built shed, which is smaller than his previous massive one at the old place, had very quickly become a total mess, even in the short time we've lived here.....all his stuff just thrown in any old how.  He's been saying ever since we moved in that he wants to put shelves up in there to hold a lot of the stuff, but hasn't actually done it, despite having some wood suitable for shelves already (something he actually managed to bring with him from the old place!!).  Having looked in there yesterday (I needed a couple of garden tools), I noticed a stack of half a dozen empty plastic boxes with lids that we'd used to pack things in from the old house and bring over, they were boxes I'd emptied and put the stuff away weeks ago.  So I said it would be a good idea to utilise those boxes for storage, he could fill up several of them with tools etc, put the lids on and stack them up at the back of the shed, creating a lot more space.  The boxes are mostly clear plastic so he could easily see what was in them.  Well, he actually got on and did it - well, made a good start at least.

The 2 big pots from the back garden had a layer of garden gravel on the top - I discovered, when taking them out so I could top dress the pots with fresh compost, that the gravel was around 3" deep - no wonder they were so heavy!  I've put in fresh compost and added some crocus bulbs I bought in flower yesterday, to give some temporary colour, finishing with a shallow layer of gravel.  When I had finished and wanted to water them in, I realised that we have no watering can - we had several back at the old place.  Husband said I'd told him not to bother bringing them - I don't recall saying that at all, nor is it something I even would say - why would I, a watering can or 2 is essential!  I've let it go though, it's something else that's not worth going on about after the event.  But it does mean we need to buy a couple.  In the meantime, I used my plastic kitchen jugs.

When husband does get going on a job, he actually works quite well, in fact he sometimes goes at it like a bull in a china shop and I have to gently suggest he slows down, takes it easier and stops for frequent breaks.  It's all or nothing with him.  Anyway, I'm happy with what we achieved yesterday, even though we both had a bad back afterwards.  The next job I want to do is to dig up some of the many bulbs in the back garden - some have grown into massive thick clumps and need separating and thinning out, or they won't flower.  There are 2 or 3 more large pots in the garden which are full of weeds, I'll dig them out and pop some of the growing bulbs in there, for some Spring colour without having to spend any money on plants.

On Sunday I did my first, and hopefully only, big shop of the month, I'm going to keep a tight rein on the budget this month.  To that end I shall menu plan for the whole month, and only shop for a few essentials like milk and fresh veg.

I read an article in the paper the other day from Lindsey Burrow, the wife of the ex-Leeds Rhinos rugby league player Rob Burrow, who has advanced MND - she is his main carer.  She does have help from their parents and close friends, and she is a trained physiotherapist who still works in her NHS job one day a week, so knows what she's doing.  I imagine doing her 'professional' job is some relief for her, giving her some respite from her home life.  She said a few things in the article which resonated with me....such as being a carer causes one to become very isolated - yes it does - and you lose friends being a carer to a loved one.  Oh yes, that's so true, I certainly have.  But when you get told you're bleating on and they don't want the aggro, then I guess they have no empathy or understanding so aren't true friends anyway.

Chocolate mousse and same old

 First the chocolate mousse review....

So, it was 2 Bramley apples, peeled, chopped and cooked to a pulp.  Cooled and mixed with 2 bars of value plain chocolate melted in the microwave.  Mix thoroughly then put in the fridge to set.  Well, it certainly set quite firm and tasted quite rich and slightly bitter - I liked the bitter taste, husband didn't.  Also, as I'd just mixed it together with a wooden spoon, it was a bit lumpy from the apples - next time I'll use my stick blender.  And there will be a next time, but I'll do things a bit differently.  If you wanted it less bitter and a bit sweeter, you could use milk instead of plain chocolate, and eating apples instead of Bramleys.  I'll still use Bramleys, but I think I'll use one bar each of plain and milk chocolate....I think the mousse would also benefit by the addition of some double cream whisked in with the chocolate and apple puree, it'll make it creamier (obviously), you wouldn't need to use a lot.  As Thrifty Lesley said when giving the recipe, it would make a great kind of cheesecake smoothed on top of a biscuit crumb base.  I dare say you could use other types of fruit, so long as it could be cooked to a puree - pears perhaps, or summer fruits cooked and then sieved to remove the pips.

Husband is well and truly back into his 'doing nothing' ways, he would happily sit and doze in his armchair in front of the TV literally all day long, if I let him, only moving to take the dog out for a (very short) walk once or twice a day.  I have plenty of jobs I can do every day - he does nothing unless I ask him to, and then I get all the backchat, grumbles and moans of "can't you do it?".  It's so irritating, especially when he's been told by the GP, cardiologist and Memory Clinic psychologist that he should try to be as active as possible, for as long as possible.  But he just acts like I'm being a horrible person who is bullying him - which I most definitely am not, I'm trying to encourage him.

Our neighbour is permanently in a wheelchair, following an accident some years ago when he was working in Africa, when he broke his back.  He cannot walk or even stand at all, and is constantly in pain, taking painkilling meds every day.  His wife is his registered carer, as I am for husband.  Despite his very obvious disabilities, the neighbour is always cheerful and keeps busy, pottering around doing odd jobs in the car port, out in their garden, and he even goes with his wife to their allotment (he uses a motorised scooter) and helps his wife out there.  Admittedly, he is probably 10 or 12 years younger than husband, but is arguably much more disabled.  I just wish husband was able to see he's not helping himself, never mind me.  I've asked him if he's depressed, he says not (he doesn't appear depressed, he chats away all the time and is always commenting on or laughing at things on the TV).

My needs or wants are not considered at all, he never offers to take me anywhere and usually grumbles if I suggest an outing.  When we're sitting watching TV in the evening, he'll often switch channels right in the middle of a programme, without even asking if I'm watching it (he's always got the remote control in his hand and is always doing the man thing of flicking through the channel guide thing, just to see if he's missing something better).  I guess this is partly my fault, as I've more or less given him free rein of what to watch on TV....as I've said before, I only really watch a very few set programmes, ones that interest me, such as Call the Midwife on last night, and the new series of Death in Paradise.

This is what I mean when I say nobody else knows what our lives are like, unless they live them - or live with us.  Because husband comes across as so chatty and friendly with everyone he meets, people don't realise what it's like for me at home - the reality of our home life is very different to the image husband puts across to others.

This morning I'm doing a few jobs in the garden, and will get him to help me - he'll need to help with a few things I can't do on my own.

Ending on a cheerful note....it's less than 4 weeks till both the start of meteorological Spring, and the start of our caravan season!  Hooray!

Too much stodge

 My guts are really playing up again.  They always do when I'm suffering with stress or anxiety, which I am right now, but it's also because of what I've been eating lately.  Although I do like salads (something I would never have dreamt of saying years ago, when barely a vegetable other than peas or spuds crossed my lips), I don't really want to eat them in winter.  During the winter, I just want to eat stews with dumplings, mashed potatoes with anything, pasta bakes, sandwiches and a cuppa soup or something on toast for lunches.  All mainly carbs in other words, and that's what gives me gut ache, as well as making me feel sluggish and my joints ache.  I know that as soon as the weather gets significantly warmer and sunnier, I'll be wanting to have salads and lots of fresh green veggies again.  In the meantime, I'll just have to try and restrict the carbs.

Husband was out in the back garden with Betty early this morning, he got chatting for the first time to the neighbour who owns the property behind us, their house is across the road but they have a garden with a small barn in it, just the other side of our back fence.  This garden is used by them purely as a car park, it's not really a garden, no plants in it, just some muddy grass....I think they have a proper garden behind their house.  They have planning permission for the barn, to convert it into a holiday let, although apparently it's not imminent, the guy seemed to be saying to husband that building costs are too high right now.  I've decided I want trellis of some sort along that fence, to give us a bit more privacy - the fence is waist high but there are several trees, ivy and shrubs along the neighbour's side of the fence, which do give a bit of privacy.  The neighbour apparently told husband that they may decide to cut down some of the trees and possibly put up a fence - the existing fence actually belongs to our property, not his, and is a bit dilapidated in places, although the ivy and shrubs are supporting it.  As I said, nothing is imminent though, so in the meantime I do want to get trellis up and some climbing plants put in.  We've been told by the housing officer that our Housing Association landlords are unlikely to put up a new fence for us, unless the existing one completely collapsed, which it's not really in danger of doing just yet. 

Weak sunshine this morning and not really cold, although the forecast is overcast with spots of rain and gusty winds, not only today but for much of the week ahead.  Not really a week for gardening then, I suppose I could get on with unpacking the remaining boxes.

A sunny beach walk to raise my spirits

 Thank you so much, you all get it - which is more than my friends and relatives do!  Yep, my Mum used to say about starving children too (Biafrans I seem to recall, or was it Ethiopians?  Or both).  I've had a serious chat with relatives, I acknowledged that they were trying to help, but got my point across that telling me how 'fortunate' I am when I'm feeling battered to the ground with problems and worries does no good at all, it just makes things worse.  And belittles my problems - shows no empathy.  As for the friend.....well I think that's a lost cause, I've known this friend for I think 17 or 18 years and spent a lot of time with them.  However, they have extremely rigid, fixed ideas about how things should be, are always offering suggestions without any thought as to how I will manage them - they're solutions that they themselves would consider, but not good for me.....because, as I have pointed out to them on countless occasions, I am not them!!  And I cannot be expected to feel or react the same as them.  It's like talking to a brick wall though.  They will never see my point of view or consider how I feel.  They also don't seem to believe that as I've got older, I've become less confident (I've never been particularly outgoing anyway) and find it harder to cope with things.  The last contact with them actually hurt me deeply, and I know they won't acknowledge that, so it looks like it's the end of that friendship.

I was really down yesterday, so suggested to husband that we go to Blue Anchor bay for a walk on the promenade and beach (it was quite a nice day).  So that's what we did.  We found a relatively empty part of the beach so we could let Betty off the lead for a run about, which she thoroughly enjoyed, she really loves the beach, and I love watching her enjoy herself so much.  The sea was quite calm as there was little wind - I actually prefer it a bit rougher, so that the waves come crashing up over the rocks, but then that means that it would be colder so I didn't mind it being calm.  Walked up and down the prom as well - I would have liked to have sat outside the cafe with a cappuccino, but neither of us had taken our wallets - each thought the other had!  It's lovely to walk by the sea, always lifts my mood and I really needed that yesterday, I'm so glad we live near enough to do that.

Husband has now bought me a replacement garden kneeler/stool and a kind of wheelbarrow trug thing for himself, so I'll be able to sit and do all the weeding and pruning (and planting when the time comes).  The wheelbarrow thing will be perfect for transporting the 2 big filled flowerpots from the back to the front garden (they're too heavy to lift and carry), and move anything else around.  I'm going to buy a pack of primroses on Monday when I go shopping, just to add a bit of colour to the 2 big pots.  He did actually bring a couple of my small hand garden tools, snippers and a trowel so, along with the garden gloves and prunings trug he bought me last week, I now have the basic tools I need for gardening.

I totalled up all the food shop spending I'd done for January (I've kept a note in my diary every time I've been shopping) - it was less than we were spending on average last year, but still more than I really wanted to spend on the shopping.  I'm going to try to rein it in this month, I really need to get our savings up again.

I've made a fish pie for dinner today (well, 2, one for the freezer) and a novel 2-ingredient chocolate mousse.....it was an idea I saw on FB, from Thrifty Lesley - I'm sure most people have heard of her, she comes up with very frugal but very tasty and inventive food plans.  It's simply a couple of apples, peeled, chopped and cooked to a mush, then added to 2 bars of value chocolate (I used plain) melted in a bowl in the microwave.  Mixed and beaten thoroughly (I used a wooden spoon, but will use my stick blender next time, it was still a bit lumpy from the apple) and put in the fridge to set.  I'll let you know what it tastes like!

Nobody else!!

 I'll start off with this:-

Nobody knows what kind of life anyone else has, unless they walk a mile in their shoes, as the saying goes.  Unless we actually live with someone, see for ourselves what goes on, live their life, etc, then we as individuals know nothing, except what that someone chooses to tell us - which may or may not be the whole story (or even the truth! as people often hide things or play down something, possibly too embarrassed or ashamed to say the whole truth).

I don't give every detail about mine and husband's lives on my blog - that would be downright stupid, and would be opening myself up to all sorts of possible criticism or perceived helpful suggestions.

I am finding certain things (which I'm not going into) difficult again, and over the past few days - well, it's been ongoing for a long time actually - I've had comments telling me to look on the bright side, think myself fortunate, giving examples of others who are in a worse position than myself and husband.  I'm talking about people actually in my life, friends and family, not specifically you readers.

Believe me, I DO consider myself fortunate in lots of ways.  But to continually be told I should be thankful that....blah blah, count myself lucky that I'm not....look at (so and so), now they really have got problems.....count your blessings because....Well, however well intentioned they may think they're being, it's actually not.  In fact, it has the complete opposite effect - I continually feel like my problems and worries are being totally discounted, like I'm being told that my problems aren't problems at all, that they're totally invalid and my feelings and thoughts mean nothing.

Nobody else lives in my house, it's just husband and I, no-one else is a fly on the wall or has a spy camera, so no-one else knows what our day to day life is like, 24/7, every single day.  All of us cope with things in our own way, we're not all identical clones.  And who gives anyone else the right to say how each of us should react, or feel, or be??  Who are they to say how I should feel?

Snoozing again....and l got in garden, yay

 I see the spammers are out in force again, the past couple of days I've had to delete no end of comments advertising foreign websites - they now have a (no doubt) false name and profile pic rather than being anonymous, in the hope their comment will get published, I guess.  Hard luck!

On the subject of unwanted stuff, since Monday we've had another 5 letters for the previous, deceased, tenant - she gets a lot more post than we do!  We continue to give it back to the postman, who just shrugs ruefully and says that unfortunately he has to deliver it - how ridiculous, when he knows she's no longer living here (or living, come to that).

Husband has, yet again, fallen back into dozing in front of the TV all day.  When I wake him up he always claims he wasn't asleep.....the photos and videos I've taken of him snoring with his mouth wide open (just to show him!) say otherwise.  Beats me how anyone can just snooze their life away and literally do nothing all day - despite his ailments, he's not incapable or even disabled as such, there's plenty he can do if he takes things easy and stops for little breaks as appropriate.  I can always find things to do, and for him to do - but unless I actually give him a job he doesn't do anything.

As an example - yesterday I sorted out and put on a wash load, putting it out on the line and airer when finished.  Prepped and cooked the blackening spuds - half of them roasted in the air fryer, the other half a panful of mash, enough to top a cottage pie and fish pie, 4 portions each (I'll be making the cottage pie today, the fish pie tomorrow).  Prepped and cooked dinner - marinated chicken thighs for husband, the leftover lentil & nut loaf for me - with assorted vegetables.  Got the washing in, most of it was dry so folded that and put it away, put the still a bit damp stuff in the airing cupboard.  Did some banking and sent a couple of home-related emails.  Spent 40 mins or so outside (yay!), weeding the front path and pruning a couple of shrubs in the back garden....it was too cold for me to stay out there any longer, despite the weak sunshine.  Husband joined me for a few mins to cut down the horrible untidy yucca thing, which he did easily...other than that he took the dog out twice - for 10 mins each time - and spent the rest of the day in his armchair. 

I'm pleased I was able to get out in the garden....as well as making a start on the shrub pruning (all the shrubs and roses need a good prune, they've clearly had no attention for a long while), I could show husband where I want trellis put up in due course.  One corner of the garden is overlooked from the road and passers by, so trellis with a couple of climbing plants should take care of that.  There's a patio in that corner, so I want a garden table and chairs there at some point - I'll keep a look out on the local FB pages to see if anyone's selling them, or might be able to get them from a boot sale when they start up.