I've decided I won't be writing any more blog posts for the time being, for how long I don't know. Apologies to my regular readers, I know it's annoying when someone stops writing, and please be assured I am very grateful for all the lovely comments and support you've all given me. Blogland is wonderful, an online community of like-minded, supportive friendly people - often more so than in real life - and it's no reflection on any of you that I'm making this decision. For various reasons, I just don't want to anymore.
I shall still be reading your blogs, they're a daily highlight for me. If any of you want to email me, feel free, although I can't promise to always reply.
Thank you.
Love and hugs
Sooze x
Saturday 19 January 2019
Using up leftovers. And still no words
I had a few odds and ends of foods that weren't being eaten for one reason or another, so needed to get on and use them up, before they went off or we got fed up with them hanging around and were tempted to bin them - something I really don't want to do anymore.
We had most of a large bag of roasted salted peanuts left from Christmas, the reason being they were excessively salty, too salty to eat. I did try rinsing a few off, but they didn't taste very nice. Didn't want to throw them out, though, so decided to make a nut roast - husband won't eat it but I love them. I rinsed all the peanuts then dried them off on kitchen paper. I didn't follow a recipe, just winged it - chopped up the nuts, some carrots, couple of leeks and 2 thick end slices of homemade wholemeal bread in my processor, then put it all in a bowl. Mixed in some grated strong Cheddar, mixed herbs, big squidge of tomato puree, couple of beaten eggs and some melted butter. It filled 2 loaf tins:-
I've sliced and frozen most of it, I'm having it for lunches with a blob of mayo and bit of salad. It's delicious, even husband quite likes it.
There were some mini Cumberland sausages, also left over from Christmas, in the freezer - I'd used half the pack to make sausage rolls and froze the rest. So for dinner last night I did a traybake of roasted winter veggies - couple of carrots and parsnips from last week that were going wrinkly, a leek, some mushrooms, a small homegrown butternut squash (only a couple left now) and the sausages. Made a sauce using bacon stock (from the gammon we had at Christmas), bit of milk, a leek and grated Cheddar to serve with it.
The Council assessor finally turned up at mum's yesterday, having failed to appear for the appointment on Wednesday. The things mum needs most - a downstairs loo and a stair lift - she can't have.....not enough room, problematical installation or siting given as the reasons, although I suspect cost comes into it too, as her local Council are broke. There could be a solution to the loo problem, which was suggested, but the assessor said no - they have a strict set of guidelines to adhere to and won't consider any other option. The woman suggested mum stay upstairs for longer periods until she doesn't feel the need to keep going to the loo....really?! To be honest, she's upstairs most of the time anyway, but they're more or less confining her to her bedroom. They have agreed to supply another zimmer frame, raised toilet seat and a better shower chair. The woman said it would probably be better if mum moved to a ground floor flat or bungalow - mum won't hear of it though as she wants to stay close to my sister - understandably, as sis is her main carer and there are no suitable properties for mum nearby.
As for the colonoscopy - still no appointment available. She is on the urgent 2-week waiting list, they just have no appointments! They said they will ring with an update before the end of the fortnight....to put her on the next rolling 2-week waiting list, presumably. I know they're extremely busy and lacking in funds/staff etc, and I do think our NHS are wonderful. But how is mum supposed to be treated if she can't get an appointment for tests to find out what's wrong with her?
It's like we're banging our heads against a brick wall all the time. The stress, worry and lack of sleep is doing me in, so goodness knows what it's doing to mum.
We had most of a large bag of roasted salted peanuts left from Christmas, the reason being they were excessively salty, too salty to eat. I did try rinsing a few off, but they didn't taste very nice. Didn't want to throw them out, though, so decided to make a nut roast - husband won't eat it but I love them. I rinsed all the peanuts then dried them off on kitchen paper. I didn't follow a recipe, just winged it - chopped up the nuts, some carrots, couple of leeks and 2 thick end slices of homemade wholemeal bread in my processor, then put it all in a bowl. Mixed in some grated strong Cheddar, mixed herbs, big squidge of tomato puree, couple of beaten eggs and some melted butter. It filled 2 loaf tins:-
And after cooking:-
There were some mini Cumberland sausages, also left over from Christmas, in the freezer - I'd used half the pack to make sausage rolls and froze the rest. So for dinner last night I did a traybake of roasted winter veggies - couple of carrots and parsnips from last week that were going wrinkly, a leek, some mushrooms, a small homegrown butternut squash (only a couple left now) and the sausages. Made a sauce using bacon stock (from the gammon we had at Christmas), bit of milk, a leek and grated Cheddar to serve with it.
The Council assessor finally turned up at mum's yesterday, having failed to appear for the appointment on Wednesday. The things mum needs most - a downstairs loo and a stair lift - she can't have.....not enough room, problematical installation or siting given as the reasons, although I suspect cost comes into it too, as her local Council are broke. There could be a solution to the loo problem, which was suggested, but the assessor said no - they have a strict set of guidelines to adhere to and won't consider any other option. The woman suggested mum stay upstairs for longer periods until she doesn't feel the need to keep going to the loo....really?! To be honest, she's upstairs most of the time anyway, but they're more or less confining her to her bedroom. They have agreed to supply another zimmer frame, raised toilet seat and a better shower chair. The woman said it would probably be better if mum moved to a ground floor flat or bungalow - mum won't hear of it though as she wants to stay close to my sister - understandably, as sis is her main carer and there are no suitable properties for mum nearby.
As for the colonoscopy - still no appointment available. She is on the urgent 2-week waiting list, they just have no appointments! They said they will ring with an update before the end of the fortnight....to put her on the next rolling 2-week waiting list, presumably. I know they're extremely busy and lacking in funds/staff etc, and I do think our NHS are wonderful. But how is mum supposed to be treated if she can't get an appointment for tests to find out what's wrong with her?
It's like we're banging our heads against a brick wall all the time. The stress, worry and lack of sleep is doing me in, so goodness knows what it's doing to mum.
Thursday 17 January 2019
Really?!
Two things this week that just make me feel like screaming....
Mum and sis were told by the GP on Monday that mum needs further bowel investigations....a camera up the bum, in other words. Sis rang to make the appointment....only to be told they have no appointments available! She was told they will ring her back, when one becomes available.
And the person from the Council who was coming to assess mum's needs for possible aids.....Didn't. Turn. Up.
Words fail me.
Mum and sis were told by the GP on Monday that mum needs further bowel investigations....a camera up the bum, in other words. Sis rang to make the appointment....only to be told they have no appointments available! She was told they will ring her back, when one becomes available.
And the person from the Council who was coming to assess mum's needs for possible aids.....Didn't. Turn. Up.
Words fail me.
Wednesday 16 January 2019
Brexit!! (or alternative title - FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!)
Now, I have absolutely zero interest in politics, I rarely vote in general elections as ALL politicians from ALL parties seem much the same to me: they promise all manner of wonderful things to get you to vote for them, then conveniently forget or change their minds once they're in power. And they're all so holier than thou, taking a stand on various moral things when it invariably comes out that they have the morals of an alleycat. Frankly, I don't really care what they did when they were students....we all have pasts and have all done things we're not proud of and wouldn't do today. But just be honest about it, for goodness sake!
So Mrs May's Brexit deal has been well and truly scuppered, and by a big proportion of her own party, too. What happens now I have no idea - according to the papers this morning, Corbyn is going to try and force a general election, although apparently a lot of May's MPs, having kicked her in the ribs last night, are crawling on their bellies and trying to make amends by backing her today. Bunch of tossers (excuse my language). So there's no guarantee there will actually be an election....and, in any case, what makes that dangerous, deluded cretin Corbyn think anyone is now going to vote for him?! Apparently, there could be various versions of Plan Bs, or a soft exit, or delaying the leaving date, or a new referendum. So, basically, they haven't got a bloody clue what to do now.
I sincerely hope there isn't another referendum - would anybody actually take the trouble to go out and vote again? Why the hell should we? The country voted the last time and look what's happened - pretty much nothing!! Our country's leaders have just squabbled and argued amongst themselves for the past 2+ years and FAILED TO DELIVER! So why should THEY have any confidence that THE PEOPLE will have any confidence in them getting their act together and doing what THE PEOPLE want a second time round?!
This country is now one big laughing stock - Europe and the world (and our Queen) must think we're (well, the Government really, but we're all lumped together, despite us minions having bugger all to do with it really) idiots.
I don't really care whether we stay in or go out, it matters not a lot to me, all I care about is whether prices are going to rise significantly. I just wish, as does everybody I know, that they would JUST GET ON WITH IT, FOR GOODNESS SAKE!! I, and everybody else I know, am just sick to death of it all.
I don't normally do politics, doubt I will again, and would just like to state that these are MY opinions only, for what they're worth. Oh, and I got out of bed the wrong side this morning, bad night again and I've got backache, grump grump.
So Mrs May's Brexit deal has been well and truly scuppered, and by a big proportion of her own party, too. What happens now I have no idea - according to the papers this morning, Corbyn is going to try and force a general election, although apparently a lot of May's MPs, having kicked her in the ribs last night, are crawling on their bellies and trying to make amends by backing her today. Bunch of tossers (excuse my language). So there's no guarantee there will actually be an election....and, in any case, what makes that dangerous, deluded cretin Corbyn think anyone is now going to vote for him?! Apparently, there could be various versions of Plan Bs, or a soft exit, or delaying the leaving date, or a new referendum. So, basically, they haven't got a bloody clue what to do now.
I sincerely hope there isn't another referendum - would anybody actually take the trouble to go out and vote again? Why the hell should we? The country voted the last time and look what's happened - pretty much nothing!! Our country's leaders have just squabbled and argued amongst themselves for the past 2+ years and FAILED TO DELIVER! So why should THEY have any confidence that THE PEOPLE will have any confidence in them getting their act together and doing what THE PEOPLE want a second time round?!
This country is now one big laughing stock - Europe and the world (and our Queen) must think we're (well, the Government really, but we're all lumped together, despite us minions having bugger all to do with it really) idiots.
I don't really care whether we stay in or go out, it matters not a lot to me, all I care about is whether prices are going to rise significantly. I just wish, as does everybody I know, that they would JUST GET ON WITH IT, FOR GOODNESS SAKE!! I, and everybody else I know, am just sick to death of it all.
I don't normally do politics, doubt I will again, and would just like to state that these are MY opinions only, for what they're worth. Oh, and I got out of bed the wrong side this morning, bad night again and I've got backache, grump grump.
Tuesday 15 January 2019
Trying to concentrate on day to day things
Got some really nice meat from the butchers yesterday. Along with the 10 packs of minced beef, we got belly pork slices and husband wanted some pork ribs. 8 belly pork slices for couple of pennies over £8 and they're huge, so frozen in packs of 2. 2 half racks of pork ribs costing about a tenner for the two, which husband cut into individual ribs - turned out to be 10 ribs, again huge and very meaty, so again frozen in 5 packs of 2 ribs.
I made a savoury crumble for the turkey pie yesterday, then stirred through some oats, parsley and sage and grated Cheddar. I used that to top the turkey, leek and mushroom pie filling, which was in a sauce made from a chicken stock cube, water, cream and mustard. It was delish.
I've done a meal plan for the rest of this month, incorporating a couple of meat-free days every week - notwithstanding the fact that we've now got loads of meat in the freezer, we do like to have some veggie days as well.
Mum's seen the GP and had the latest results. Not too good, her heart's giving cause for concern, BP still low despite being taken off meds, very anaemic but ferritin very high....which could be caused by a number of things, rheumatoid arthritis (which she has), diabetes (she's not), inflammation or infection, liver disease, some types of cancer, even restless legs syndrome being a few of them. GP has no explanation for the diarrhoea or a definite cause of the high ferritin, so she's referring mum back to hospital for further investigations, and has said to make sure mum keeps her fluid levels up. Poor old thing's been having a bad couple of days and has spent all her time in bed again. It's all very worrying.
We were thinking of going to Kent on holiday later this year - very good friends of ours live on the Kent coast, they come to see us every year and we've been saying for years we must go and see them. However, after discussing it we've decided against it....husband's heart failure means he gets very tired nowadays, and it comes on very suddenly, so a long drive (5 hours and possibly longer, if the traffic's bad on the M25 or Dartford crossing) is not really a good idea. Even if we stopped 2 or 3 times, which we would have to anyway with Betty, the long hours would still be too much for him. His health is paramount.
I made a savoury crumble for the turkey pie yesterday, then stirred through some oats, parsley and sage and grated Cheddar. I used that to top the turkey, leek and mushroom pie filling, which was in a sauce made from a chicken stock cube, water, cream and mustard. It was delish.
I've done a meal plan for the rest of this month, incorporating a couple of meat-free days every week - notwithstanding the fact that we've now got loads of meat in the freezer, we do like to have some veggie days as well.
Mum's seen the GP and had the latest results. Not too good, her heart's giving cause for concern, BP still low despite being taken off meds, very anaemic but ferritin very high....which could be caused by a number of things, rheumatoid arthritis (which she has), diabetes (she's not), inflammation or infection, liver disease, some types of cancer, even restless legs syndrome being a few of them. GP has no explanation for the diarrhoea or a definite cause of the high ferritin, so she's referring mum back to hospital for further investigations, and has said to make sure mum keeps her fluid levels up. Poor old thing's been having a bad couple of days and has spent all her time in bed again. It's all very worrying.
We were thinking of going to Kent on holiday later this year - very good friends of ours live on the Kent coast, they come to see us every year and we've been saying for years we must go and see them. However, after discussing it we've decided against it....husband's heart failure means he gets very tired nowadays, and it comes on very suddenly, so a long drive (5 hours and possibly longer, if the traffic's bad on the M25 or Dartford crossing) is not really a good idea. Even if we stopped 2 or 3 times, which we would have to anyway with Betty, the long hours would still be too much for him. His health is paramount.
Monday 14 January 2019
Meat and veg
Mum was well enough to go to her church service yesterday morning, for the first time in weeks. She enjoyed it, but it tired her out completely and she had to go to bed as soon as she got home. She's seeing her GP today, for the latest blood test results and to discuss the next phase of the GP's plan for adjusting her meds. Sis will be taking her, as usual.
I used the turkey legs and wings from the bargain reduced price fresh turkey we bought after Christmas to make a stew at the weekend. Cooked the legs and wings in stock made from the carcass in the slow cooker first, then took them out to cool. Chopped the meat up and put half of it back into the slow cooker, along with lots of veggies and herbs and half a packet of stuffing mix. Added dumplings near the end, it made 4 portions....well, 5 actually, as husband had seconds yesterday, the remaining 2 portions will be lunch for husband today and tomorrow. He's intending to work in the garden and will need a hot lunch. The other half of the turkey I'm making a pie with - turkey, mushroom and leek, with a savoury crumble topping, we'll have half tonight and the rest will be frozen.
The butcher we used to get a bulk buy of meat from 2 or 3 times a year (can't afford that anymore) currently has a special offer on minced beef, 5kg split into 500g packs for £16.99, so £1.69 per 500g. Their mince is lovely, local and very tasty, so we'll go and get that today. Will also get some belly pork slices or pork loin chops, both of which we've had before and they're really nice too, as well as being very good value. We've got chicken breast fillets and thighs, pork mince, turkey, beef and gammon all from Christmas, both sliced and diced, along with some smoked haddock and cod bought on YS (yellow sticker, reduced as on use by date for overseas readers) all in the freezer already, so have enough meat and fish to last us for probably 6 months. Oh, and a pack of smoked salmon, 2 or 3 packs of sausages and the same of bacon rashers too, just remembered those.
We're starting to plan what we'll be growing in the way of veg for this year. Definitely NO cabbages, sprouts or broccoli - whilst we like them all, husband just can't seem to keep them covered well enough to stop the cabbage white butterflies, followed inevitably by caterpillars, from getting in, and that just puts me off completely. We're going to try growing asparagus for the first time - I know we won't get a crop this year, but as I love asparagus, it will be worth the wait. I tell husband every year there's no need to grow so much of everything, we don't have to feed the entire hamlet! But he does anyway....well, not this year, I shall make sure of that, he needs to have less work not more.
I used the turkey legs and wings from the bargain reduced price fresh turkey we bought after Christmas to make a stew at the weekend. Cooked the legs and wings in stock made from the carcass in the slow cooker first, then took them out to cool. Chopped the meat up and put half of it back into the slow cooker, along with lots of veggies and herbs and half a packet of stuffing mix. Added dumplings near the end, it made 4 portions....well, 5 actually, as husband had seconds yesterday, the remaining 2 portions will be lunch for husband today and tomorrow. He's intending to work in the garden and will need a hot lunch. The other half of the turkey I'm making a pie with - turkey, mushroom and leek, with a savoury crumble topping, we'll have half tonight and the rest will be frozen.
The butcher we used to get a bulk buy of meat from 2 or 3 times a year (can't afford that anymore) currently has a special offer on minced beef, 5kg split into 500g packs for £16.99, so £1.69 per 500g. Their mince is lovely, local and very tasty, so we'll go and get that today. Will also get some belly pork slices or pork loin chops, both of which we've had before and they're really nice too, as well as being very good value. We've got chicken breast fillets and thighs, pork mince, turkey, beef and gammon all from Christmas, both sliced and diced, along with some smoked haddock and cod bought on YS (yellow sticker, reduced as on use by date for overseas readers) all in the freezer already, so have enough meat and fish to last us for probably 6 months. Oh, and a pack of smoked salmon, 2 or 3 packs of sausages and the same of bacon rashers too, just remembered those.
We're starting to plan what we'll be growing in the way of veg for this year. Definitely NO cabbages, sprouts or broccoli - whilst we like them all, husband just can't seem to keep them covered well enough to stop the cabbage white butterflies, followed inevitably by caterpillars, from getting in, and that just puts me off completely. We're going to try growing asparagus for the first time - I know we won't get a crop this year, but as I love asparagus, it will be worth the wait. I tell husband every year there's no need to grow so much of everything, we don't have to feed the entire hamlet! But he does anyway....well, not this year, I shall make sure of that, he needs to have less work not more.
Saturday 12 January 2019
First phase completed
Thank you all so much for comments, Wednesday was very hard and emotional, elder brother and I did feel we wouldn't be surprised if it were the last time we saw Mum. Younger brother, who previously wasn't coping at all well and mainly shutting himself in his bedroom to avoid the situation (he has a myriad of health problems himself, both physical and mental), has really stepped up to the mark, he now looks after Mum very well, in conjunction with sister.
The latest bloods mum had done earlier in the week showed that she has yet another urine infection, hence why she was feeling even more unwell when we saw her. More antibiotics, which are starting to kick in now. She's perked up a bit and has eaten a little yesterday and today.
Younger bro put a post on Facebook last night saying mum is on the mend. We older siblings are pretty sure she's not, she's just having a couple of better days, he's just being overly optimistic and hopeful because he wants her to be better. Anyhow, she's not too bad at the moment and that's what counts.
Sister arranged for her son and daughter in law to both meet up with her at mum's, each in their own cars, so they could all set to and clear out mum's bedroom. Sis settled mum comfortably downstairs, so they didn't have to keep disturbing or moving her - and, more importantly, so she wasn't there to stop them getting rid of a lot of her unnecessary belongings! They sorted out and took away loads of stuff that mum had accumulated over the years - nothing important or precious to mum, just things like masses of clothes - they filled 12 bin bags. As she's virtually bedbound now, she doesn't need all those clothes, about 80% of which she didn't wear anyway. They also took out 2 chests of drawers, 2 bedside cabinets (she had 4!), a large bookcase, a cupboard and a clothes rail. Sis's son and DiL took all the stuff away in their cars, to the tip and charity shops. The room looks SO much better now, neat and tidy and comfortable, with plenty of room (sis sent me photos), mum's really pleased. She loves her new electric riser chair as well.
Sis has just messaged me to say mum's feeling sick again, so looks like it's back to 'normal' again 😕. Poor old thing. And another of mum's long-time friends died last week, that's 3 or 4 in the last year or two....she'll soon be the last of her gang of cronies.
The latest bloods mum had done earlier in the week showed that she has yet another urine infection, hence why she was feeling even more unwell when we saw her. More antibiotics, which are starting to kick in now. She's perked up a bit and has eaten a little yesterday and today.
Younger bro put a post on Facebook last night saying mum is on the mend. We older siblings are pretty sure she's not, she's just having a couple of better days, he's just being overly optimistic and hopeful because he wants her to be better. Anyhow, she's not too bad at the moment and that's what counts.
Sister arranged for her son and daughter in law to both meet up with her at mum's, each in their own cars, so they could all set to and clear out mum's bedroom. Sis settled mum comfortably downstairs, so they didn't have to keep disturbing or moving her - and, more importantly, so she wasn't there to stop them getting rid of a lot of her unnecessary belongings! They sorted out and took away loads of stuff that mum had accumulated over the years - nothing important or precious to mum, just things like masses of clothes - they filled 12 bin bags. As she's virtually bedbound now, she doesn't need all those clothes, about 80% of which she didn't wear anyway. They also took out 2 chests of drawers, 2 bedside cabinets (she had 4!), a large bookcase, a cupboard and a clothes rail. Sis's son and DiL took all the stuff away in their cars, to the tip and charity shops. The room looks SO much better now, neat and tidy and comfortable, with plenty of room (sis sent me photos), mum's really pleased. She loves her new electric riser chair as well.
Sis has just messaged me to say mum's feeling sick again, so looks like it's back to 'normal' again 😕. Poor old thing. And another of mum's long-time friends died last week, that's 3 or 4 in the last year or two....she'll soon be the last of her gang of cronies.
Thursday 10 January 2019
Poor mum
Mum looks like a corpse....to put it bluntly. She's lost so much weight, her face has kind of sunk (not wearing her dentures adds to that of course), she has no energy whatsoever, her skin is grey. She's deteriorated so much in the few months since we last saw her, brother and I were pretty shocked.
Sister, brother and I had a good talk over lunch in a local large pub, we discussed what things we could do to be of the best help to mum. We bought her one of those electric riser armchairs to go in her bedroom, so she has somewhere comfortable to sit when she's feeling strong enough to get out of bed (£65 in a charity furniture shop, the same type of chair was £600 new in the mobility aids shop!). Also got her a commode and some other personal aids. I know she could probably get most of these free (she's having someone from the Council go to see her next week to assess her needs), but she needs them NOW, not at some point in the future. In any case, her local Council is broke (it was even mentioned in the national news), so it's not a given that they'll be willing/able to fund anything.
Sis is going to arrange for a friend to call in once a week to get any odd bits of shopping mum might need, and pick up her prescriptions - my suggestion, to take a bit of pressure off sister as she has so much to do and is feeling the strain.
We also agreed that sis, along with a good friend, will clear out mum's bedroom - she's always been a bit of a hoarder and her room is chock full of 'stuff' - umpteen handbags and shoes which she hasn't used for years, a suitcase full of jigsaw puzzles she can't see well enough to do anymore, 4 chests of drawers stuffed full of clothes she no longer wears, 2 bookcases full to overflowing of books she can't see to read. Her room is so cluttered it's hard to get around, even for an able-bodied person - mum has agreed for it to be done.
All three of us feel that Mum hasn't got long left, but we're trying to make what time she has got left pleasanter and easier for her.
It was a very long (and emotional) day, we left early in the morning as it takes 3 hours to get up there, and didn't get home until just after 8 pm. Even longer day for brother who took me, as he lives in Cornwall and still had more than an hour's drive to get home after he dropped me off. We were shattered and aching, and as usual I'm awake and downstairs at silly o'clock, although will try going back to bed in a minute. Thank goodness neither brother nor I have any appointments today, although we both do tomorrow. At least we have a day to recover.
Sister, brother and I had a good talk over lunch in a local large pub, we discussed what things we could do to be of the best help to mum. We bought her one of those electric riser armchairs to go in her bedroom, so she has somewhere comfortable to sit when she's feeling strong enough to get out of bed (£65 in a charity furniture shop, the same type of chair was £600 new in the mobility aids shop!). Also got her a commode and some other personal aids. I know she could probably get most of these free (she's having someone from the Council go to see her next week to assess her needs), but she needs them NOW, not at some point in the future. In any case, her local Council is broke (it was even mentioned in the national news), so it's not a given that they'll be willing/able to fund anything.
Sis is going to arrange for a friend to call in once a week to get any odd bits of shopping mum might need, and pick up her prescriptions - my suggestion, to take a bit of pressure off sister as she has so much to do and is feeling the strain.
We also agreed that sis, along with a good friend, will clear out mum's bedroom - she's always been a bit of a hoarder and her room is chock full of 'stuff' - umpteen handbags and shoes which she hasn't used for years, a suitcase full of jigsaw puzzles she can't see well enough to do anymore, 4 chests of drawers stuffed full of clothes she no longer wears, 2 bookcases full to overflowing of books she can't see to read. Her room is so cluttered it's hard to get around, even for an able-bodied person - mum has agreed for it to be done.
All three of us feel that Mum hasn't got long left, but we're trying to make what time she has got left pleasanter and easier for her.
It was a very long (and emotional) day, we left early in the morning as it takes 3 hours to get up there, and didn't get home until just after 8 pm. Even longer day for brother who took me, as he lives in Cornwall and still had more than an hour's drive to get home after he dropped me off. We were shattered and aching, and as usual I'm awake and downstairs at silly o'clock, although will try going back to bed in a minute. Thank goodness neither brother nor I have any appointments today, although we both do tomorrow. At least we have a day to recover.
Tuesday 8 January 2019
Busy afternoon (understatement!)
Happy birthday to Catriona! Thanks for all the comments. Mum spent a week in hospital back in October after collapsing on the stairs at home, she was found to have dangerously low blood pressure, severe dehydration and a urine infection. She's had lots of subsequent tests and outpatient treatment for a blood clot in her leg, erratic heartbeat, the ongoing sickness and diarrhoea, including scans and an endoscopy to rule out stomach or bowel cancer. Nothing significant was found, other than the hiatus hernia and 'mild' gastroenteritis. Her GP is going to continue subtracting/adding back her meds on a weekly basis, to see whether that has any effect. Mum will also have weekly blood tests/stool and urine samples tested, and weekly consultations with the GP, for a month. The GP says if nothing comes to light in that time, then she'll be referred back to hospital for more investigations. Mum seems a bit happier now things are being done.
I rang her this afternoon just before 2 pm....during the course of conversation she said "oh yes, you're coming up tomorrow aren't you....can you please bring me up some of your lovely homemade soups?"!!! Erm yes mum, I'll get straight on and do it now! Aaarrrghhhh! A bit more notice would have been good!
Fortunately, I already had a couple of homemade soups in the freezer, along with tubs of turkey and bacon stocks and diced turkey and ham leftovers from the Christmas joints. There were also several homegrown butternut squashes and lots of veggies in the utility room, so plenty of 'makings'. So now I have chicken & veg, chunky tomato & courgette (both previously made and frozen), cream of vegetable, cream of turkey and leek, and spicy butternut & ham done for her, 2 portions of each, I'll take them up frozen in a coolbox. Shattered now, husband has helped out by preparing some of the stuff for his birthday dinner.
If I hadn't had so much on my mind the past few days, I'd have made the soups anyway - I often do take up some homecooked ready meals, soups or cakes for mum....it just didn't cross my mind this time though, my focus has purely been on the meeting with my sis and brother.
I'm glad she's clearly feeling like eating - she's said quite often recently she just hasn't felt hungry. Or thirsty, come to that.
Have just sat down with a cup of tea and one of my anti-anxiety pills, as I'm feeling all jittery and shaky with the adrenaline. Early night tonight I think, just hope I can sleep.
I rang her this afternoon just before 2 pm....during the course of conversation she said "oh yes, you're coming up tomorrow aren't you....can you please bring me up some of your lovely homemade soups?"!!! Erm yes mum, I'll get straight on and do it now! Aaarrrghhhh! A bit more notice would have been good!
Fortunately, I already had a couple of homemade soups in the freezer, along with tubs of turkey and bacon stocks and diced turkey and ham leftovers from the Christmas joints. There were also several homegrown butternut squashes and lots of veggies in the utility room, so plenty of 'makings'. So now I have chicken & veg, chunky tomato & courgette (both previously made and frozen), cream of vegetable, cream of turkey and leek, and spicy butternut & ham done for her, 2 portions of each, I'll take them up frozen in a coolbox. Shattered now, husband has helped out by preparing some of the stuff for his birthday dinner.
If I hadn't had so much on my mind the past few days, I'd have made the soups anyway - I often do take up some homecooked ready meals, soups or cakes for mum....it just didn't cross my mind this time though, my focus has purely been on the meeting with my sis and brother.
I'm glad she's clearly feeling like eating - she's said quite often recently she just hasn't felt hungry. Or thirsty, come to that.
Have just sat down with a cup of tea and one of my anti-anxiety pills, as I'm feeling all jittery and shaky with the adrenaline. Early night tonight I think, just hope I can sleep.
Blimey and OMG
It's husband's birthday today (68, blimey) and I'm cooking what he wants....he's asked for prawn cocktail, a lamb leg steak with the veggies he likes (virtually everything!), followed by cheese and biscuits. So an easy meal for me to do. We rarely buy each other presents now, but generally buy something for ourselves - that way we get exactly what we know we want. He bought himself a new pair of winter boots in the sales.
And an OMG - Sis weighed mum yesterday....she's lost 2 stones in the past 4 weeks, worryingly. She's not been eating much as she's feeling/being sick every couple of days, and has had diarrhoea pretty consistently for weeks as well. I - well, we - really hope the docs get to the bottom of all this sooner rather than later. But when all her tests keep coming back as normal, I think the doc is at a bit of a loss as to what to do next. Mum's quite weak, understandably, and is very down about it all, which is to be expected. Sis has spoken to the doc, who's asked for a urine sample to be taken in. She's also advised stopping another of mum's tablets. Mum has to go for more blood tests on Thursday. It's very hard not to worry.
I've got a big list of things to discuss with sis and brother tomorrow. I hope between us we can all come up with some good ideas to help mum. Brother was a police officer for 30 years, so he's pretty sensible.
And an OMG - Sis weighed mum yesterday....she's lost 2 stones in the past 4 weeks, worryingly. She's not been eating much as she's feeling/being sick every couple of days, and has had diarrhoea pretty consistently for weeks as well. I - well, we - really hope the docs get to the bottom of all this sooner rather than later. But when all her tests keep coming back as normal, I think the doc is at a bit of a loss as to what to do next. Mum's quite weak, understandably, and is very down about it all, which is to be expected. Sis has spoken to the doc, who's asked for a urine sample to be taken in. She's also advised stopping another of mum's tablets. Mum has to go for more blood tests on Thursday. It's very hard not to worry.
I've got a big list of things to discuss with sis and brother tomorrow. I hope between us we can all come up with some good ideas to help mum. Brother was a police officer for 30 years, so he's pretty sensible.
Monday 7 January 2019
Sleep and energy topped up
I've had a lovely restful peaceful weekend and feel so much better for it.
Saturday morning I spent sat on one of the twin beds in the spare room (its lovely and bright in there), reading, crocheting and making notes for our coming sibling day on Wednesday. Betty kept me company, mostly asleep on the other bed, but being a bit mischievous when awake, sitting on my legs and trying to bite my toes through the fleece blanket, little monkey. Husband amused himself downstairs, playing games on his computer or watching endless repeats of Top Gear and Wheeler Dealers on TV (no doubt with the tv remote in his hand, constantly flicking through all the channels - it's such a man thing isn't it? Drives me nuts!). Anyway, I'm sure he enjoyed me not being there to heave big sighs and roll my eyes!
In the afternoon, I turfed Betty out to go back downstairs with Dad (she fidgets and snores too much) and snoozed for a couple of hours. Went downstairs for dinner and watched TV for a while, then had an early night....and actually managed the whole night without having to get up and go downstairs.
Sunday I felt energised enough to get up, although didn't do much at all, just more crocheting and reading mainly, although we did pop out in the morning for a mooch round the shops. Husband took care of all the food for the weekend, heating and serving everything I'd made and washing up afterwards, it was fantastic to have a weekend off doing all that.
I think I need to have a weekend, or even just a day, off more often, it's done me good.
Mum's been up and down the past few days, she wasn't at all well on Saturday but felt a bit better yesterday. Husband's brother, who's a general builder, went to see her yesterday to fit a banister to her stairs, there was one on one side but not the other and Mum needs two. She's got someone from the Council going in to see her soon, with a view to assessing her needs and hopefully agreeing for her to have a downstairs loo fitted - there's a large walk-in cupboard in her hallway that would be perfect for it. She certainly needs it, she can only just about get up and down stairs very slowly now, I should think it won't be long before she can't manage the stairs at all.
It's silly o'clock again but that's fine, I'm drinking a cup of warm milk whilst doing this blog post and then will go back to bed. It's my new normal.
Saturday morning I spent sat on one of the twin beds in the spare room (its lovely and bright in there), reading, crocheting and making notes for our coming sibling day on Wednesday. Betty kept me company, mostly asleep on the other bed, but being a bit mischievous when awake, sitting on my legs and trying to bite my toes through the fleece blanket, little monkey. Husband amused himself downstairs, playing games on his computer or watching endless repeats of Top Gear and Wheeler Dealers on TV (no doubt with the tv remote in his hand, constantly flicking through all the channels - it's such a man thing isn't it? Drives me nuts!). Anyway, I'm sure he enjoyed me not being there to heave big sighs and roll my eyes!
In the afternoon, I turfed Betty out to go back downstairs with Dad (she fidgets and snores too much) and snoozed for a couple of hours. Went downstairs for dinner and watched TV for a while, then had an early night....and actually managed the whole night without having to get up and go downstairs.
Sunday I felt energised enough to get up, although didn't do much at all, just more crocheting and reading mainly, although we did pop out in the morning for a mooch round the shops. Husband took care of all the food for the weekend, heating and serving everything I'd made and washing up afterwards, it was fantastic to have a weekend off doing all that.
I think I need to have a weekend, or even just a day, off more often, it's done me good.
Mum's been up and down the past few days, she wasn't at all well on Saturday but felt a bit better yesterday. Husband's brother, who's a general builder, went to see her yesterday to fit a banister to her stairs, there was one on one side but not the other and Mum needs two. She's got someone from the Council going in to see her soon, with a view to assessing her needs and hopefully agreeing for her to have a downstairs loo fitted - there's a large walk-in cupboard in her hallway that would be perfect for it. She certainly needs it, she can only just about get up and down stairs very slowly now, I should think it won't be long before she can't manage the stairs at all.
It's silly o'clock again but that's fine, I'm drinking a cup of warm milk whilst doing this blog post and then will go back to bed. It's my new normal.
Friday 4 January 2019
Exhausted
Thanks for comments, it is hard to know that Mum's deteriorating and it does make us feel helpless. The GP asked if mum needs a carer for personal care - she said no, but that's something that sis, brother and I will discuss next week. It's good to know that the option is there if necessary.
I am utterly exhausted, after yet another broken night. There's a lot to do today - washing to get dried and put away (it'll be done in the tumble drier, as there's a heavy frost outside so it won't dry on the line). Bread to be made (dough proving already). Quite a lot of wrinkly root veg to deal with, I'll prep, roast and freeze it all. A pie to make for Sunday dinner - well, 2 actually, one to freeze, as I have enough pastry and filling. Pizza for tea tomorrow, it's a bought base, just have to add a few toppings. Slow cooker full of soup for lunches for the next few days, only needs whizzing up. I want to get all the food for the weekend prepared, so all husband needs to do is heat and serve.
I was asked the other day why I don't let husband do more to help. The answer to that is twofold - firstly, quite frankly it's easier to do it myself, if he does anything I have to keep stopping what I'm doing to give him step by step instructions, as he forgets constantly (a side effect of some of his heart meds). Secondly, he does the bulk of the dog walking, which gives me time to get on with things.
Once today's jobs are done, i'll collapse this evening and that will be that until Monday. Several appointments next week, including going up to Northampton for the day for our sibling pow-wow - it'll be a long day and I'll be wiped out, physically and emotionally, the next day.
I am utterly exhausted, after yet another broken night. There's a lot to do today - washing to get dried and put away (it'll be done in the tumble drier, as there's a heavy frost outside so it won't dry on the line). Bread to be made (dough proving already). Quite a lot of wrinkly root veg to deal with, I'll prep, roast and freeze it all. A pie to make for Sunday dinner - well, 2 actually, one to freeze, as I have enough pastry and filling. Pizza for tea tomorrow, it's a bought base, just have to add a few toppings. Slow cooker full of soup for lunches for the next few days, only needs whizzing up. I want to get all the food for the weekend prepared, so all husband needs to do is heat and serve.
I was asked the other day why I don't let husband do more to help. The answer to that is twofold - firstly, quite frankly it's easier to do it myself, if he does anything I have to keep stopping what I'm doing to give him step by step instructions, as he forgets constantly (a side effect of some of his heart meds). Secondly, he does the bulk of the dog walking, which gives me time to get on with things.
Once today's jobs are done, i'll collapse this evening and that will be that until Monday. Several appointments next week, including going up to Northampton for the day for our sibling pow-wow - it'll be a long day and I'll be wiped out, physically and emotionally, the next day.
Thursday 3 January 2019
An update on mum, and looking after myself
Wherethejourneytakesme, thanks for your comment, and what you say makes a lot of sense, mum is not very mobile at all. The problem is actually getting mum to drink and eat - despite us, and doctors and the paramedics, telling her she must at least drink, if not eat, she often doesn't. She says she just doesn't feel hungry, or even thirsty, much anymore and often feels so sick she doesn't want to anyway. There's also the problem of her low mood - she's so tired of feeling ill that she doesn't really see the point of doing what she's supposed to. She is on antidepressants, has been for a long time, but they're clearly not working much anymore.
Sis took her to the GP today. Her GP admitted that, seeing as all mum's tests have come back normal, they really don't know what's wrong with her, although agreed it's clear there is something going on. The GP had a look at all mum's medications - it appears she's on about 15 different meds, plus 2 inhalers and a steroid skin cream. And, worryingly, she hasn't had a review of her medications in a very long time (we have an annual med review at our surgery!).
So the GP decided to take Mum off of some of her meds to see what effect that will have - 7 in total. She said for a start, mum doesn't need to be taking 2 meds for high BP - her BP has actually been very low, sometimes dangerously so, recently. Honestly, I sometimes wonder exactly what the doctors at mum's practice do - not a lot, it seems, and I really think, as does mum, that her doctors had more or less written her off because of her age. Sis did some straight talking with the doc and it seems to have shaken her up, hence the doc's change to being proactive. She's also taken mum off 2 or 3 other meds that have known gastro side effects, plus a couple of others, I can't remember what. Mum is to go back next week for blood tests, and then see the GP again a couple of days later. So at least, finally, something positive is being done. The GP said in the meantime, if we're at all worried about mum, to ring for the paramedics again.
I think part of the problem is where mum and sis live - on the edge of a large town, in a heavily populated area, and the GP surgery is swamped. Whereas we live in a rural area with a much lower population and have no problems at all with our doctors.
I'm busy tomorrow, but am going to have a weekend of doing nothing - I'm so tired my body feels like it's shutting down. I might even stay in bed. Got a busy week next week, so I need to build up my reserves. I also have a cold sore on my lip, for only the second time in my entire life, I guess because I'm run down.
Sis took her to the GP today. Her GP admitted that, seeing as all mum's tests have come back normal, they really don't know what's wrong with her, although agreed it's clear there is something going on. The GP had a look at all mum's medications - it appears she's on about 15 different meds, plus 2 inhalers and a steroid skin cream. And, worryingly, she hasn't had a review of her medications in a very long time (we have an annual med review at our surgery!).
So the GP decided to take Mum off of some of her meds to see what effect that will have - 7 in total. She said for a start, mum doesn't need to be taking 2 meds for high BP - her BP has actually been very low, sometimes dangerously so, recently. Honestly, I sometimes wonder exactly what the doctors at mum's practice do - not a lot, it seems, and I really think, as does mum, that her doctors had more or less written her off because of her age. Sis did some straight talking with the doc and it seems to have shaken her up, hence the doc's change to being proactive. She's also taken mum off 2 or 3 other meds that have known gastro side effects, plus a couple of others, I can't remember what. Mum is to go back next week for blood tests, and then see the GP again a couple of days later. So at least, finally, something positive is being done. The GP said in the meantime, if we're at all worried about mum, to ring for the paramedics again.
I think part of the problem is where mum and sis live - on the edge of a large town, in a heavily populated area, and the GP surgery is swamped. Whereas we live in a rural area with a much lower population and have no problems at all with our doctors.
I'm busy tomorrow, but am going to have a weekend of doing nothing - I'm so tired my body feels like it's shutting down. I might even stay in bed. Got a busy week next week, so I need to build up my reserves. I also have a cold sore on my lip, for only the second time in my entire life, I guess because I'm run down.
Positive planning
Up at stupid o'clock again. But it's fine, it gives me time to sit quietly without interruptions (other than Betty's snoring!) and make lists.
Thanks for all the comments, very comforting and supportive. Sue, I didn't know about dehydration possibly turning into urine infections - for a long time now, Mum's been having urine infections one after the other, in fact she seems to be almost permanently on antibiotics. I wonder if they even work anymore - she does seem to need longer and longer courses each time. She wasn't well again yesterday, more throwing up and diarrhoea and incredibly weak. Sister rang the GP - he said just to make sure she keeps drinking(!!), to get her to the surgery today (didn't feel it necessary to make a home visit, clearly) and to ring for an ambulance if necessary in the meantime (lets him off the hook then!). He'd had the results of the latest tests Mum had just before Christmas - normal apparently, with no action needed. So Mum's throwing up for no reason then!
There's clearly something going on, you don't have repeated projectile vomiting without warning, and repeated bouts of diarrhoea, over a period of weeks and months (it's been going on since last October) for no reason. All they've found is that she has a hiatus hernia. Mum is just so tired and weak and worn out with everything, she's 82 and says she's had enough.
Elder brother and I have made arrangements to go up there next week, pick up sis and go for lunch, so we can all have a brainstorming session. Hopefully, we can all come up with some ideas for things to help mum out. It's hard on sis as, living next door to mum, she's the one who has the day to day care. But it's also hard on elder bro and I, as we feel helpless as we're so far away (we're 150 miles from Mum, bro is even further away in Cornwall), and we sometimes feel out of the loop. Younger brother who lives with mum is just not coping at all.
Old age is a bugger! Well, old age and poor health.
So I've used my time this morning productively, have jotted down a few ideas of things siblings and I can discuss next week, and made some menu plans. I made a mildly curried turkey and veg soup for lunch yesterday, using the scraps of turkey I got off the carcass after boiling it up for stock, it was delicious. A veggie day today, we've had lots of meat meals lately. I'm going to have a day or two doing a lot of batch cooking of meals to freeze, we have so much meat in the freezer now. January is certainly going to be a low spend month.
Thanks for all the comments, very comforting and supportive. Sue, I didn't know about dehydration possibly turning into urine infections - for a long time now, Mum's been having urine infections one after the other, in fact she seems to be almost permanently on antibiotics. I wonder if they even work anymore - she does seem to need longer and longer courses each time. She wasn't well again yesterday, more throwing up and diarrhoea and incredibly weak. Sister rang the GP - he said just to make sure she keeps drinking(!!), to get her to the surgery today (didn't feel it necessary to make a home visit, clearly) and to ring for an ambulance if necessary in the meantime (lets him off the hook then!). He'd had the results of the latest tests Mum had just before Christmas - normal apparently, with no action needed. So Mum's throwing up for no reason then!
There's clearly something going on, you don't have repeated projectile vomiting without warning, and repeated bouts of diarrhoea, over a period of weeks and months (it's been going on since last October) for no reason. All they've found is that she has a hiatus hernia. Mum is just so tired and weak and worn out with everything, she's 82 and says she's had enough.
Elder brother and I have made arrangements to go up there next week, pick up sis and go for lunch, so we can all have a brainstorming session. Hopefully, we can all come up with some ideas for things to help mum out. It's hard on sis as, living next door to mum, she's the one who has the day to day care. But it's also hard on elder bro and I, as we feel helpless as we're so far away (we're 150 miles from Mum, bro is even further away in Cornwall), and we sometimes feel out of the loop. Younger brother who lives with mum is just not coping at all.
Old age is a bugger! Well, old age and poor health.
So I've used my time this morning productively, have jotted down a few ideas of things siblings and I can discuss next week, and made some menu plans. I made a mildly curried turkey and veg soup for lunch yesterday, using the scraps of turkey I got off the carcass after boiling it up for stock, it was delicious. A veggie day today, we've had lots of meat meals lately. I'm going to have a day or two doing a lot of batch cooking of meals to freeze, we have so much meat in the freezer now. January is certainly going to be a low spend month.
Wednesday 2 January 2019
Positive wavering a bit
Thank you for all the encouragement and love - think I need it right now (well, we all do, don't we?!).
My 'positive' outlook for the year is already being tested, and it's only the 2nd day. Things are happening around me that I have no control over but are incredibly frustrating. And my mother had to have paramedics called out again last night, she'd been in bed unwell all day, not eating or drinking again, and as a result was dehydrated with really low BP and all confused again. Honestly, she's been told umpteen times she should at least keep drinking, and my younger brother (who admittedly does have lots of health problems himself, but is sometimes very self absorbed and unobservant) lives with her, so the pair of them should know better. Paramedics stayed with her for a couple of hours again, getting her to drink first, then eat something, and checking until her BP had risen to a more normal level. They also gave her a telling off....whether it'll do any good remains to be seen. It's so frustrating for me when I live 150 miles away. To make things worse, my sister, who lives next door to mum, was out last night.
Anyway, I've kept busy this morning - put all the (few) decorations away (can't bear to see them in January, they're SO last year), did washing, made soup for lunch, did some banking, made a few phone calls to make some arrangements for next week.
My 'positive' outlook for the year is already being tested, and it's only the 2nd day. Things are happening around me that I have no control over but are incredibly frustrating. And my mother had to have paramedics called out again last night, she'd been in bed unwell all day, not eating or drinking again, and as a result was dehydrated with really low BP and all confused again. Honestly, she's been told umpteen times she should at least keep drinking, and my younger brother (who admittedly does have lots of health problems himself, but is sometimes very self absorbed and unobservant) lives with her, so the pair of them should know better. Paramedics stayed with her for a couple of hours again, getting her to drink first, then eat something, and checking until her BP had risen to a more normal level. They also gave her a telling off....whether it'll do any good remains to be seen. It's so frustrating for me when I live 150 miles away. To make things worse, my sister, who lives next door to mum, was out last night.
Anyway, I've kept busy this morning - put all the (few) decorations away (can't bear to see them in January, they're SO last year), did washing, made soup for lunch, did some banking, made a few phone calls to make some arrangements for next week.
Tuesday 1 January 2019
Positive
Happy new year to everyone, it's up to us to make it a good one. We had a lovely time with friends, who cooked us a nice dinner, we sat around the table chatting for hours, and then saw the new year in from their garden, watching fireworks in the nearby village and listening to the church bells ringing in the new year.
Several bloggers are coming up with a word to be their motto for the year. Mine's going to be POSITIVE. Something which was sadly lacking in my life and attitude last year. I can't prevent or change negative things that may happen in the future, but I can change how I cope with them. So here's to a positive new year.
Several bloggers are coming up with a word to be their motto for the year. Mine's going to be POSITIVE. Something which was sadly lacking in my life and attitude last year. I can't prevent or change negative things that may happen in the future, but I can change how I cope with them. So here's to a positive new year.
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