Friday 4 January 2019


Thanks for comments, it is hard to know that Mum's deteriorating and it does make us feel helpless.  The GP asked if mum needs a carer for personal care - she said no, but that's something that sis, brother and I will discuss next week.  It's good to know that the option is there if necessary.

I am utterly exhausted, after yet another broken night.  There's a lot to do today - washing to get dried and put away (it'll be done in the tumble drier, as there's a heavy frost outside so it won't dry on the line).  Bread to be made (dough proving already).  Quite a lot of wrinkly root veg to deal with, I'll prep, roast and freeze it all.  A pie to make for Sunday dinner - well, 2 actually, one to freeze, as I have enough pastry and filling.  Pizza for tea tomorrow, it's a bought base, just have to add a few toppings.  Slow cooker full of soup for lunches for the next few days, only needs whizzing up.  I want to get all the food for the weekend prepared, so all husband needs to do is heat and serve.  

I was asked the other day why I don't let husband do more to help.  The answer to that is twofold - firstly, quite frankly it's easier to do it myself, if he does anything I have to keep stopping what I'm doing to give him step by step instructions, as he forgets constantly (a side effect of some of his heart meds).  Secondly, he does the bulk of the dog walking, which gives me time to get on with things.

Once today's jobs are done, i'll collapse this evening and that will be that until Monday.  Several appointments next week, including going up to Northampton for the day for our sibling pow-wow - it'll be a long day and I'll be wiped out, physically and emotionally, the next day.


  1. It's well worth considering some sort of home care support. My mum has some and it is brilliant, saving my dad a lot of worry and difficulty.
    However, if she was asked, she'd say 'no' despite all evidence to the contrary.
    Good luck with all your endeavours today. A gentle weekend sounds just about right.

  2. Hugs to you, take care, rest when you are able.
    Keeping busy is good for the mind.
    The time my husband takes the dog for a walk are the most productive for me in the house!

  3. Afternoon Sooze - Happy New Year.

    As Joy has said, that some sort of home care for your Mum is worth considering - if only to ease things for you and your siblings. As much as none of us like to admit it - we are not getting any younger :-(
    I hope you manage to achieve most of your "to do" list - you'll be whacked out, but it'll give you some stress free days ahead. I know what you mean about letting hubby do more to help - it's so much easier to do it yourself AND the clearing up. Hubby is planning to make some soup for himself next week - I'm getting agitated about it already. I've booked the decorator to repaint the kitchen for the following week :-) Don't forget to pace yourself.

    Wishing you a gentle weekend.


  4. I hope you can sort out things for your Mum. Since I had my stroke nearly a year ago I have had to change about a lot of things, I am still living on my own (l am 80) I don't make cakes, bread etc. but do cooking simply things and nice. I have done the garden so it's easier to do. I hope you have an easier weekend for you Sooze.
    Hazel c uk

  5. I hope that you manage to get things sorted out. The SO is a great help in the kitchen, he does all the slicing and dicing if I ask and ALL the washing up. He is a good cook but I am quite territorial about MY/our kitchen.

  6. I hope you manage to come to some kind of arrangement for your mum's care, for your peace of mind.
    Some external support sounds like a great idea and most people are reluctant to accept it initially, so don't let that put you off. X

  7. As a 25-year veteran of the elder-care wars, I sincerely empathize with you. I also hope you and your siblings are able to develop a plan that will benefit all of you, including your mother. I was solo during most of that period (only child), which was both easier and more difficult. Nearly every doctor lectured me that I should be at home providing care. Excuse me? Who do you think supports this family? Funny after the fact, but one more hurdle at the time!

    Something to consider in your brainstorming session: sometimes the family member needing assistance will do things for a non-family member more readily--particularly when said family members are their children! The powdered bottom syndrome. You still have to be engaged to ensure good care and so they don't feel abandoned, but eventually you will have some peace between crises so you can recharge your batteries. I don't want to sound excessively negative, but it is reality, as you are discovering.

    Whatever is decided, I hope all of you take care of yourselves. Your mother needs you functional so you can take care of her. :-)

    And I hope I made you smile a little. Elder-care is difficult and serious at best, but there is humour in the mix. Even if we don't realize it until later!

  8. Sending more hugs, my lovely. xxx

  9. Hope you managed to get some rest over the weekend.

    I'm not surprised your Mum said no to carers when the GP asked her, that is an automatic response. I wish GPs wouldn't ask open questions, usually when people are given suggestions by a GP they are much more likely to accept. I expect that if he had said 'let's try some temporary carer until you're back on your feet' she might have accepted much more readily.
    Best wishes! xx


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