Thursday 3 January 2019

Positive planning

Up at stupid o'clock again.  But it's fine, it gives me time to sit quietly without interruptions (other than Betty's snoring!) and make lists.

Thanks for all the comments, very comforting and supportive.  Sue, I didn't know about dehydration possibly turning into urine infections - for a long time now, Mum's been having urine infections one after the other, in fact she seems to be almost permanently on antibiotics.  I wonder if they even work anymore - she does seem to need longer and longer courses each time.  She wasn't well again yesterday, more throwing up and diarrhoea and incredibly weak.  Sister rang the GP - he said just to make sure she keeps drinking(!!), to get her to the surgery today (didn't feel it necessary to make a home visit, clearly) and to ring for an ambulance if necessary in the meantime (lets him off the hook then!).  He'd had the results of the latest tests Mum had just before Christmas - normal apparently, with no action needed.  So Mum's throwing up for no reason then!

There's clearly something going on, you don't have repeated projectile vomiting without warning, and repeated bouts of diarrhoea, over a period of weeks and months (it's been going on since last October) for no reason.  All they've found is that she has a hiatus hernia.  Mum is just so tired and weak and worn out with everything, she's 82 and says she's had enough.

Elder brother and I have made arrangements to go up there next week, pick up sis and go for lunch, so we can all have a brainstorming session.  Hopefully, we can all come up with some ideas for things to help mum out.  It's hard on sis as, living next door to mum, she's the one who has the day to day care.  But it's also hard on elder bro and I, as we feel helpless as we're so far away (we're 150 miles from Mum, bro is even further away in Cornwall), and we sometimes feel out of the loop.  Younger brother who lives with mum is just not coping at all.  

Old age is a bugger!  Well, old age and poor health.

So I've used my time this morning productively, have jotted down a few ideas of things siblings and I can discuss next week, and made some menu plans.  I made a mildly curried turkey and veg soup for lunch yesterday, using the scraps of turkey I got off the carcass after boiling it up for stock, it was delicious.  A veggie day today, we've had lots of meat meals lately.  I'm going to have a day or two doing a lot of batch cooking of meals to freeze, we have so much meat in the freezer now.  January is certainly going to be a low spend month.


  1. Yes stupid o' clock here for me Sue, I went to bed around 11 and was still tossing and turning into the small hours, the last time I looked at the clock it was just past 1.20, then I had to get up at 4.30 because I had enough of sweating, and tossing and turning and backache. I might try to have a nap later in the afternoon for half an hour.
    Sorry to hear your mum is having such a hard time, the hernia sounds awful.

  2. Morning, Sue.
    I usually use my early mornings for reflection (sometimes out loud in my blog) and planning of the day and it's really helpful. On the occasions when I do sleep longer, I miss that start; it grounds me, I think.

    I used to think living to a very old age would be great. I now know it isn't, not really, depending on circumstances, of course. I'm the 'dhild' who lives closest and I know my brothers both worry about not being able to help much at all. I am sure your brainstorming session will be very productive and, hopefully, will give you more peace of mind. It's not an easy situation - I know that from personal experience.
    Much love to you
    J xxx

  3. I too suffer from water infections, when I feel the symptoms I start to drink loads of water, it often does clear.

  4. Yes, old age is a bugger, couldn't agree with you more.
    Regarding the UTI's. I found that taking D-mannose helps mine, as soon as I feel something going on I take it and it goes away, just a thought. I dread the time when I can't look after myself or Tom, I don't like the idea of being a burden on the kids, lets hope it does't come to that.
    Let's hope together you can come up with something,

  5. Not sure if this will help but just thought I would mention - my MIL in her 80's had repeated urine infections mainly due to her becoming less mobile over time which in turn led her to visit the loo less because of the effort and sitting with a full bladder for a long time encourages strong urine and then infections. Therefore drinking more not only helps to dilute the urine it makes you go more often. We were also told it is very important to fully empty the bladder on each visit to the toilet. Having a bladder full of strong urine leads to toxins being absorbed back into the body and they act like a poison to the system and is often the cause of old people seeming to have dementia as it can affect the brain and might be one the reasons your mum is often sick. Once this was explained to my MIL she kept a small jug of water by her chair and made sure she had drunk it all within the hour then refilled it and took the trouble to go to the loo more - her carers also tested her urine once a week to make sure any signs of infection were picked up straight away and dealt with. She stayed infection free for months with these few simple procedures and had no recurrence of the sickness and delerium she'd had with the earlier repeated infections.
    I think it is a good move to all get together and make a plan - it is not easy coping with elderly parents once their health starts to fail - I do feel for you as I am now watching my own mum who is 93 going into a slump with failing health. Good luck.

  6. Good you figured something to do . All the info on here is very informative and all of us learn. Thanks to you.

  7. Sending positive vibes for your meeting with the family.

    You know where to find a comfort break on your way up or down. xxx


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