Mum looks like a corpse....to put it bluntly. She's lost so much weight, her face has kind of sunk (not wearing her dentures adds to that of course), she has no energy whatsoever, her skin is grey. She's deteriorated so much in the few months since we last saw her, brother and I were pretty shocked.
Sister, brother and I had a good talk over lunch in a local large pub, we discussed what things we could do to be of the best help to mum. We bought her one of those electric riser armchairs to go in her bedroom, so she has somewhere comfortable to sit when she's feeling strong enough to get out of bed (£65 in a charity furniture shop, the same type of chair was £600 new in the mobility aids shop!). Also got her a commode and some other personal aids. I know she could probably get most of these free (she's having someone from the Council go to see her next week to assess her needs), but she needs them NOW, not at some point in the future. In any case, her local Council is broke (it was even mentioned in the national news), so it's not a given that they'll be willing/able to fund anything.
Sis is going to arrange for a friend to call in once a week to get any odd bits of shopping mum might need, and pick up her prescriptions - my suggestion, to take a bit of pressure off sister as she has so much to do and is feeling the strain.
We also agreed that sis, along with a good friend, will clear out mum's bedroom - she's always been a bit of a hoarder and her room is chock full of 'stuff' - umpteen handbags and shoes which she hasn't used for years, a suitcase full of jigsaw puzzles she can't see well enough to do anymore, 4 chests of drawers stuffed full of clothes she no longer wears, 2 bookcases full to overflowing of books she can't see to read. Her room is so cluttered it's hard to get around, even for an able-bodied person - mum has agreed for it to be done.
All three of us feel that Mum hasn't got long left, but we're trying to make what time she has got left pleasanter and easier for her.
It was a very long (and emotional) day, we left early in the morning as it takes 3 hours to get up there, and didn't get home until just after 8 pm. Even longer day for brother who took me, as he lives in Cornwall and still had more than an hour's drive to get home after he dropped me off. We were shattered and aching, and as usual I'm awake and downstairs at silly o'clock, although will try going back to bed in a minute. Thank goodness neither brother nor I have any appointments today, although we both do tomorrow. At least we have a day to recover.