Rainy day

 Absolutely chucking it down at the mo and forecast to go on until mid afternoon, so it's a day in the van today. That's fine, the radio is on, husband's chattering away (as he does) and doing a bit of tidying up in his bedroom.  Betty's dozing, alternating between the sofa and my bed, she never lays in one place for very long.  I've got a good book and the baby blanket crochet, and jotting down a few meal ideas for the month ahead.

As I mentioned a few days ago, I'm going to see if I can make September a very low spend on food month.  It shouldn't be difficult, we have a fairly full freezer.  I'm going to try buying cheese (which we do eat a lot of, especially with me not eating meat) and veggies from the farmers market held at the local livestock market on Saturdays.  It's not one of those fancy expensive artisan markets, but a gathering of local farms and producers selling normal everyday homegrown and made produce, so it's fresher and cheaper than supermarket stuff.  And it's supporting local growers and the food hasn't come 100s of miles.

The small inheritance from the distant relative I didn't even know about landed in my bank account a couple of days ago.  I've given husband some, bought a new pair of slippers for myself and the rest has gone into the moving fund savings account.  I'm grateful to him, despite not knowing of his existence.  He was a cousin of my mother's, she never mentioned him at all, nor did her siblings so I assume he was a bit of a black sheep.  Pity there's nobody left to ask about him.

How many socks?!

 Yesterday morning I asked husband to get out his clothes for me to pack prior to going to the van....I reminded him we'll be away for 6 days and the weather is forecast to be mixed sunshine & showers, and a bit cooler than of late.  I went through the clothes he'd put in a pile on the bed:-

3 pairs tracksuit trousers, 5 pairs shorts, 9 assorted polo shirts/t-shirts, 10 pairs socks but only 4 pairs boxers.  And no jumpers - he'll need one for early morning/late evening dog walks I expect.

There's no rhyme or rhythm to what clothes he chooses - it's not even a case of choosing them, he basically just grabs a random selection of whatever clothes are nearest or on top in his wardrobe and drawers.  It's a good job I go through them before packing - I discarded some and added others as necessary.  And the irony is.....he doesn't even change his clothes (apart from underwear) every day, he frequently wears the same clothes for several days running, so 9 shirts was a bit excessive!

All packed now and ready to go, just the cool box of fresh/frozen food to do.  I've got the packing down to a fine art now, as we go so often, plus it helps that we do leave quite a bit of stuff in the van - tinned and packet food, tea & coffee, dog food & treats, toiletries, some clothes and shoes, spare bedding and towels.  I keep loads of books and DVDs there, plus a few games for wet days.

The neighbour who plays petanque rang yesterday morning and asked if husband wanted to go for a game in the afternoon - they normally play Tues and Thurs afternoons but had been offered the chance for an extra game as it was a bank holiday.  Husband agreed, it was just going to be an informal friendly, not a match game, so it was a good introduction for him.  He said he really enjoyed it.

The Talk

 We've had 'the talk', husband agreed with everything I said and has agreed to pull his weight more.  But he's said that a few times, his resolve generally lasts a week or two and then it's back to his old ways.  I should keep on top of it and make sure he doesn't slip back, but it's so wearing and frustrating to keep having to remind him all the time.  I'm very nearly at breaking point though, so something needs to change permanently.  

There's a few things I want to do/places I want to go whilst we're at the van this week, so I shall make sure we do them.  I have pointed out to husband that virtually all our van neighbours go out and about several times during their stays, whilst we do nothing unless I insist we go out - left up to him, husband would sit around doing exactly what he does at home - bugger all in other words.  There's a nice, fairly big garden centre near Cheddar that has very good plant sales at this time of year, I want to go there and pick up a few perennial plants to go in the van garden, also some bulbs for the van pots.  I also want a beach day.  And a car boot sale before they stop for the season.

Husband did say he's feeling very despondent over the fact that the Council have suspended us from bidding on any properties for 3 or 4 weeks (or however long it takes them to review our application).  I can understand that, it IS frustrating, feels like we've been penalised through no fault of our own.  However, there's nothing at all we can do about it, once again it's a case of simply having to wait. I think husband expects me to wave a magic wand and MAKE things happen, I've explained to him till I'm blue in the face that it doesn't work like that, there is literally nothing I can do to speed up the process of getting a successful bid and being offered a property.

I've decided to have an experiment for the month of September to see how little I can spend on food shopping - we've got a nearly full freezer, including plenty of frozen veg, which I will make more use of rather than buying fresh veg all the time.  And now I know I can make yogurt easily and cheaply, and we have enough homegrown apples to last us a few weeks, that'll take care of puddings for husband and breakfasts for me, when I feel like having breakfast.  I'll need to buy some dairy stuff, and probably a loaf or 2 for husband, and some dog food, but shouldn't really need much else.

Changes

 Some good news last night - my Uncle H has staged a bit of a rally, he's improved enough to sit up in bed and even managed, with nurses help, to sit in his chair for a short while.  He's been upgraded from red to orange status and the hospital are restarting his treatment.  They say he's not out of the woods by any means, but there's definite improvement.  He's clearly a tough old boy, despite having Parkinsons and heart disease - some years ago he went into hospital for routine stents, only to have a massive cardiac arrest whilst in theatre (the best place to have one!).  He was put into a medically induced coma for a few days to aid his recovery, he recovered extremely well and continued with his active golfing and plane spotting life, until fairly recently when the Parkinsons advanced enough to put a stop to that.  So there's always hope.

With regard to husband, he and I are going to have some serious chats (he doesn't know it yet!) whilst we're away in the caravan this week.  This sitting around doing bugger all has got to stop, he's just giving himself a slow death.  And it's no life for me, having to struggle to do everything and getting more and more resentful.  He's dragging me down and I'm not having it, I'm 63 not 93, my life is not over!  Nor is his.  So there will be changes, and I'll make sure he sticks with them rather than doing things for a couple of days and then going back to his old ways like he always does.  I'm not having my life defined as carer and general dogsbody, and he's not a helpless invalid - if my 84 y.o. seriously ill uncle can rally, so can husband.

Running out of patience

 I'm having a battle again to get husband to do anything, he's really slipped back into his bad old ways of doing absolutely nothing yet again.  It's his job to do the hoovering - and before anyone says I expect too much of him with his heart failure, he was the one who actually volunteered to take on the job a couple of years ago, because he could see how I struggled with it because of my bad back and hips.  He doesn't do the whole house at once (not even one floor at a time) and nor would I expect him to, he just does usually one room.  Which is fine by me, as long as all the rooms get done eventually.  With a dog who sheds hair all the time, the hoovering really needs to be done every other day, but I always knew that would never happen with husband, but as long as he does it at least once a week, I don't complain.  Well, we've now been back home from the caravan for 9 days, and he's not done the hoovering once.  And it shows!  

I've been asking him for days now to pick a load of apples off the trees, before the wasps (we are inundated with wasps right now, there's obviously a nest somewhere close) get them all.  He hasn't done it.  He's got an appointment for his diabetic eye screening in a week's time, he needs to have someone take him as he has to have drops in his eyes which affect his eyesight for a few hours afterwards, meaning he can't drive.  I've been reminding him for the past 4 or 5 days that he needs to ask someone to take him - nope, not done it, he's now said he'll cancel the appointment and rearrange it for a later date - it's the easier option for him!

He insists he's not depressed, mutters vaguely about breathlessness - well I know that's not the case, he only gets breathless upon exertion and he's certainly not exerting himself lounging in his chair dozing in front of the TV!  And the breathlessness wears off with 5 minutes of rest.

No, he's just got into this pit of apathy again, lying there with the TV on all day is the easiest thing to do and he does enjoy watching any and all old rubbish on the TV!

It's so unbelievably frustrating having to try and get him to do things, I get accused of nagging (what is nagging except having to repeatedly ask for something to be done that should have been done the first time of asking!!  In which case we wouldn't HAVE to ask again and again!!), and then get resentful because yet again I'm the baddie.

Well I can't worry about it now, I've got a busy day even if he hasn't.  But he'll have to get his finger out and do something, before I run out of patience.

Autumnal, and putting up with things

 The sky is a most peculiar colour this morning, sort of yellowish-grey thick clouds coming over, it almost looks like smog.  Forecast is for clouds and showers.  

It's definitely feeling autumnal now isn't it.  For a start, we've had lots of the dreaded 8-legged things appearing, I feel like a permanent nervous wreck.  There was what I thought was a big one upstairs yesterday evening....it turned out to be a large grasshopper!  And there are loads of wasps around too, they're a blooming nuisance coming indoors all the time, it's still very warm (muggy actually) so we have lots of windows open.  The nights are drawing in, we have to put lights on before 9pm now.  Flowers are dying off, shrubs are dropping their leaves.  Putting washing out on the line will be a bit hit and miss for the next few days, mixed weather with showers most days.

We haven't had many apples on our trees this year, but those we do have are looking good, a nice big size.  I think we might pick them over the weekend, leaving a few for the birds - we're back off to the caravan next week and I don't want to come back home and find the remaining apples have been decimated by wasps and birds.  We've been given yet more tomatoes and runner beans by lovely neighbours, so lots of prepping and freezing to do over the weekend.

Husband has fallen back into the bad habit of dozing in his recliner chair in front of the TV all day, trying to get him motivated to do anything is an uphill struggle.  I persuaded him to go in the garden and do a bit of weeding and tidying up yesterday - he was only out there for literally 10 minutes, he said he didn't feel like it.  It's a good job I don't say the same (despite it being true!) about the cooking, washing, cleaning etc.  I've had lots of admin and form filling to do this week, which I hate doing but it's got to be done, I don't have the option of saying I don't feel like doing it as I'm the only one who can do it.

I was talking to a neighbour the other day, we had coffee together.  She had no idea about the extent of husband's health problems and what it means for us both, and was open-mouthed in astonishment at some things.  She said she wouldn't put up with half the things I put up with and do.  But when things need doing and I'm the only one who can do them, I have to, I have no other choice.  As for husband's apathy, lounging around doing nothing, rudeness and argumentativeness....I guess I just have to keep telling myself he (largely) can't help it and put up with it, although I won't stand for being abused for no reason.

Anyway, enough of that, I've got plenty to do today - keeping busy keeps me out of his way and helps to take my mind off my back pain (seems to be the season for backache!).  I'm feeling totally worn out this week, it'll be good to get away next week and do nothing except rest, read and crochet.

Funerals, and getting husband out of the house

 My brother went to visit our uncle in hospital on Tuesday, he stayed overnight in a hotel and went to the hospital again yesterday before coming home.  Bro is very close to Uncle H, who has been kind of like a surrogate father to bro (our father buggered off  50 years ago and we've not seen him since).  Uncle H had 2 daughters, no sons, so my bro was like the son he never had.  He says Uncle is conscious, on oxygen, very weak and frail indeed, but has all his faculties and recognised my bro.  The hospital have stopped all his meds and say the end could come anytime.  My siblings and I have all said the same thing - waiting for Uncle to die in his last days very ill in hospital is just like it was with our mother, Uncle's sister.  And, in my case, with my beloved Aunt Sylvia (their youngest sister who was nearer my age) as well.  Sylvia, who was like my big sister and I was extremely close to, died a few months before my mother, I last saw her in hospital just 2 hours before she died, and it wasn't a nice experience, she was unresponsive, her breathing was strained and jagged, and she had a coughing fit, coughing up blood, it was horrendous actually.  It made me adamant that I didn't want to watch my mother die, I wanted to remember her as she was in better times.  I saw Mum 10 minutes after she died and that was quite horrific too, how she looked (not peaceful at all) has always stuck in my mind.  So my mother (who was the oldest sibling, Sylvia was the youngest), her brother and her 2 sisters will all have died within 3 or 4 years of each other - my other aunt died 2 years ago.  So I'm feeling very emotional and vulnerable right now.

Thank you all for the comments concerning the funeral.  I do want to go to the funeral, when it comes - it does seem a bit disrespectful talking about Uncle's funeral before he's even dead, but it is going to happen very soon and we all know that, so just being pragmatic.  My family has always been very supportive of each other with regard to serious illness and funerals, we all attend the funerals, even of those who technically were no longer in the family following divorces, when the divorce was amicable.  Whereas husband's (very large) family aren't close at all, they're scattered geographically, some of them are always at loggerheads for one reason or another, and they're more or less indifferent to each other.  So I will be going, with husband taking me to meet up with brother for the onward journey to the funeral.  I'm sure husband can drive back home by himself, I am probably worrying unnecessarily - I am an inveterate worrier by nature.  I'll get husband to ring me when he gets back home, just to settle my mind.

I had a nice long chat with a neighbour yesterday.  She and her partner both play Petanque (a kind of French bowls game) and had asked if we would like to join them.  Well, I'm not particularly interested, but I knew husband would be - when I asked him he said yes.  So I've arranged for him to go along with J and her partner, starting in a couple of weeks - they play twice a week.  So that will get him out of the house, socialising and being active (well, reasonably, it's not an energetic sport) for a couple of hours twice a week, and give me some much-needed time on my own to do whatever I want.  Win-win!

I've got dog food to make today, and a bit of batch cooking for the freezer.  Also bread - I have a packet sourdough mix, it's not a genuine sourdough, it has a few extra ingredients, but it tastes alright.  It's nearing the use by date so, although I'm not eating bread much at all lately, it needs to be used up, I'm not going to chuck it away.  When it's cooked, I'll slice and freeze it.

How to go, and clumsiness

 I was thinking about uncle's funeral - although he's not dead yet of course, but it's clearly imminent.  It's a 2.45 hour journey to where they live on the south coast in Hampshire, and there's no direct main route so it will be cross country through little country lanes.  It will be too much for husband, both in terms of length of drive and taxing for his concentration, so him taking me is not an option.  My brother will be going, it's an even longer journey for him from Cornwall, he won't be able to come and pick me up as to do so would be an hour's diversion for him to collect me, and then another hour to get back on the route.  However, husband has said he'll be happy to take me down to a point where we could meet up with brother, which is doable.  I would be a bit concerned though as it means husband would have to drive back home (and come back to collect me from the meeting point) on his own - he says it's no problem, he's perfectly happy to do it.  We could always leave our car at the meeting point (a service station) and husband could come with us, but that would mean leaving Betty home alone for a lot of hours, and we wouldn't do that.  I'll have to have a think about it, husband would probably be alright driving on his own, I'm probably worrying unnecessarily.

Husband was having a clumsy day yesterday (which is one of the reasons why I worry about him!).  He carried the basket of washing out into the garden for me, put it down and then tripped over something invisible (!!) and lost a shoe.  He bent down to turn the shoe up the right way, stumbled and fell into the rotary washing line, causing it to lean sideways.  His coordination is rubbish, he's always bumping into things, he drops things (cutlery, his keys, his tablets, letters, packets, pretty much anything he's holding) literally every day.  He's always treading on or (accidentally!) kicking the dog, which he says is her fault for laying in awkward places.....erm, she's big enough to see, she's not a chihuahua!  He's a walking disaster actually, or an accident waiting to happen.

Another lovely neighbour gave us a big bagful of tomatoes yesterday, they've grown far too many plants to use all the produce themselves.  They're Gardeners Delight, so a medium size and very tasty.  We'll eat some for lunches over the next few days, but I've also frozen quite a lot for future sauces.

I've been having some of my homemade yogurt every day but still have a lot left, so will use some to make a yogurt and apricot cake (found the recipe online), I'll take it to the neighbour's coffee morning gathering.  I've just googled and found out that yogurt can be frozen for up to 2 months, so will put a tub of it in the freezer.

Scary driver (no, not husband!)

 Yesterday morning, as we'd finished our freezer food shop and were starting to drive out of the car park, we witnessed something quite scary - another driver, an elderly man, who was trying to park his small car.  There were 2 empty spaces behind his car and one in front, with kerbs and other parked cars beside them.  He couldn't seem to make up his mind whether to drive into the space in front, or reverse into one of the two behind, he shunted backwards and forwards 5 or 6 times.  We had to sit and wait whilst he did this, as he was totally blocking our route out.  The scary thing was that every single time he moved either forwards or back, he bounced up the kerbs and nearly hit the other parked cars and a fence, he just wasn't turning the wheel enough and couldn't seem to judge the angles.  Husband said he was tempted to get out and offer to park the car for him, but didn't want to embarrass the poor man.  The guy eventually managed to park in the front space, but he didn't judge it right at all and was just millimetres away from hitting the large black Audi in the next space with his front right wing, whilst mounting the kerb with his rear left wheel.  I said to husband that if he ever gets to that stage, I will personally stop him from driving again, regardless of how much it will inconvenience us.  That poor old man (in his 80s by the look of him) most certainly shouldn't be driving, he's clearly a danger.  But I guess he doesn't want to give up his independence, doesn't have anybody else to drive him around, or - worryingly - doesn't see anything wrong with his driving.  Or perhaps his eyesight is frighteningly bad! (he was wearing glasses).

Our freezers are fully stocked again now and I shouldn't need to go shopping again, except maybe for some fresh veg/fruit, for another month or so.  Incidentally, if you have a FarmFoods shop near you (it's next door to our big Iceland shop), they are selling 500g packs of Anchor spreadable butter for 99p on special offer.  I don't know how long the offer lasts though.  I bought 4 packs.  Lurpak is my preferred brand of butter, but I buy whichever one is on special offer.  Oh, and I've noticed some butter brands have quietly dropped their pack sizes to 400g down from 500g, but of course not dropped the price!  Do they think we're stupid?!

I'm glad to see that the killer nurse has been jailed for the rest of her life, with no possibility of parole.  She refused to leave her cell and appear in court, as stated by her solicitor the other day - scandalous and totally cowardly.  I can't imagine why it's even an option for convicted criminals to refuse - they give up any rights they might think they have the minute they're convicted.  I suppose one tiny bit of comfort (if there can be any) for the bereaved parents is the knowledge that she will certainly not have an easy time in prison, she'll be a target for attacks forevermore, as well as being on constant suicide watch.  

My cousin rang last night to say that the doctors have said there's nothing more they can do for my uncle, and it'll be a matter of days before he passes.  So sad.

Bad night, form filling done, and sad news

I went to bed around 9.30 last night, read for half hour or so, then light out just after 10 pm.  Went to sleep pretty quickly, but then woke up just after 01.30.  And that was it, I haven't been able to get back to sleep.  So I've finally got up at 04.30 and am now sat here in the lounge with a mug of Horlicks and my laptop.  Will be fit for nothing today.

Luckily, the various DIY noises didn't go on for too long yesterday, so I was able to go upstairs and do what I had to.  The housing form I had to more or less completely review from the start, although some sections I could just skip over as they hadn't changed.  Others, though, needed things added to or changed (and I even found a couple of minor errors I'd made the first time round!  Quickly corrected).  Had to scan and upload husband's cognitive impairment report - scanning and uploading documents doesn't come easy to me, it really taxes my brain.  Anyway, it's done now.  We cannot bid on any properties whilst the application is being reviewed, I knew that, but it seems nor will any of the bids we've made in the past couple of weeks be considered whilst the review is being done, which is a bit of a nuisance.  It's supposed to take up to 3 weeks for the housing department to review our application, however, the confirmation email said that they currently have a backlog (well what a surprise) so it may take longer.  Seems to be the way nowadays, we're kept waiting for everything.  I find it increasingly difficult as I get older to fill in forms, especially as I have to do husband's paperwork too.

My brain felt too strained to do any other admin stuff yesterday, so I have that to do today, if my brain is functioning after the lack of sleep - I need to sort out the insurance cover for Betty, the calendar needs updating with appointments, and some banking to be done.  I also need to go to the freezer store to stock up on some frozen foods, and get some more dog food supplies.  I didn't do the menu plan yesterday either, so that needs to be done as well.

We've been invited to a neighbour's coffee morning on Wednesday, which will be a nice little get together for our hamlet.  I'll make a cake.

Had some sad news yesterday - my uncle H, the last remaining of my late mother's 3 siblings, has gone into hospital having been injured in a fall a couple of days ago.  He also has a severe chest infection, heart disease and Parkinson's and isn't expected to come out of hospital, he's got very thin and frail in the past few weeks.  When he passes, that will leave me as the oldest remaining member of my maternal extended family.  Which is a very strange and disconcerting feeling and makes me feel quite vulnerable.

Betty, the killer, yogurt, free food and aarrggh!

 To answer a few recent comments - Donna, thank you for your kind words about my beautiful Betty, yes she is half Shar Pei, half English Bulldog.  She takes after her mother, the Shar Pei, in looks, but has her father's deep chest and strength.  She's quite aloof, a Shar Pei characteristic, but is goofy like a bulldog.

Sandi, yes the nurse baby killer says she's innocent, despite having been almost caught in the act a few times and numerous consultants and fellow nurses voicing their serious concerns about her.  Personally, I think she's a psychopath, she's certainly mentally ill of course, nobody in their right mind would do what she did.

Lola's Mum - I initially googled yogurt making, it did seem simple but quite a few recipes were fixated on exact times and testing temperatures with a thermometer - I can't be doing with that (I don't have a food thermometer anyway and wasn't going to buy one).  So I just winged it really - what did I have to lose, other than a carton of milk and one of yogurt?  I poured 2 litres of full fat milk into my slow cooker and set it to Low, for about 2 hours or possibly slightly longer, I didn't time it as such.  At the end of that time I took the lid off and stuck my (clean!) finger in the milk to check the temperature, it was fairly hot, although not boiling.  I put the lid back on, switched off the cooker and left it to cool for another couple of hours....at the end of which time the milk was warmish, certainly not hot anymore but not cold either.  I took out a couple of ladlefuls of the milk and put it in a jug, then added a 200g pot of full fat live Greek yogurt, stirring it well until no lumps visible.  Poured it all back into the slow cooker and stirred well to mix through.  Put the lid back on and covered the whole cooker with a couple of hand towels, as recommended.  Then I just left it overnight, still switched off.  In the morning, when I took the towels and lid off, I was surprised (but very pleased) to find a big potful of nice thick yogurt!  You need to think about the timing of when you do it, it's best to start the process off in the late afternoon, it needs around 2 hours heating up initially, then a couple of hours cooling down before mixing in the yogurt before you go to bed, and then leaving overnight (8-12 hours is recommended).  2 litres of milk certainly makes a lot of yogurt, I decanted it into 3 big tubs.  In future I might just use 1 litre of milk and 100g yogurt.  If you want it to be really thick, like Greek yogurt, then the recommendation is to strain it through muslin into a large jug or bowl, apparently you leave it until the whey drains out, which could take some time.  I didn't bother though, what I (or rather the slow cooker) made is plenty thick enough for me. 

I need to do the council housing application review today, so will take my laptop upstairs so I can do it in peace.  I've also got some other admin stuff to do which needs concentration, luckily, I slept fairly well last night.  Need to do a menu plan as well.

I was a bit annoyed with myself for forgetting something when we were coming home from the caravan the other day.  The park is surrounded by trees and shrubs, including blackberries, fruit and cob nut trees, we are told we can help ourselves.  Just near our van is a huge Victoria plum tree which is heavily laden with fruit, I meant to pick a bagful and bring them home.  With everything else I had to do to pack up, I completely forgot.  I wonder if there'll be any left worth picking when we go back in 10 or 12 days, or whether the birds, wasps and squirrels will have had them all?

ADDED

So much for peaceful concentration today - both our neighbours are doing DIY of various sorts today, they're both DIY fanatics.  The one attached to our house (a semi) is using power tools which are loud and making the walls and floors of our house vibrate.  The one on the other side of our drive has got scaffolding up and is doing something noisy to his roof and gutters.  And husband has just started mowing the lawns.  Think I'll put my Meatloaf album on and play it VERY LOUDLY!

Unbelievable! And awww how lovely

 I made my first batch of yogurt in the slow cooker yesterday, left it overnight as instructed.  Somehow I wasn't expecting success with my first lot - although how it could go wrong with just 2 ingredients and a very simple method I don't know!  But it's a success - lovely thick fresh yogurt, 3 big tubs of it (I used 2 litres of milk and a 200ml pot of Greek-style live yogurt).  It's so thick I don't think I'll bother straining it.  So now I'll be eating yogurt in some form or another every day.  Yum.  So easy I won't be buying it anymore.

Husband had his painful back tooth out yesterday, he says his mouth feels a bit sore today but nowhere near the pain he had before, only a 1 or 2 on the scale now, whereas before it was an 8.  He wanted soup yesterday as he couldn't chew anything, so I knocked him up a very quick and easy one - a can of chopped tomatoes, can of baked beans, some herbs and a little smoked paprika, squirt of tomato puree, whizzed up with my stick blender until smooth, then warmed gently and finished off with a swirl of soured cream.  He liked it, there's plenty left.  He reckons his mouth will be fine to eat his massive pork chop tomorrow.

That angel-faced nurse who killed all those babies - I was astounded to hear that she REFUSED to appear in court for the verdict and is apparently also refusing to be there for the sentencing next week. 😲 Unbelievable - refusing to attend shouldn't even be an option, she should be dragged there in chains.  I gather that new laws are going to be rushed through so that criminals are forced to appear - and so they should, it's an outrage that it's even allowed for them to refuse, how very dare they!  I feel for every one of those bereaved families - but especially for the poor parents of the babies where a verdict couldn't be reached....they're left in limbo not knowing what happened to their babies, and possibly having to sit through yet another trial, just to prolong their agony even more.  I hate watching the news nowadays and avoid it if I can.  Some things I'd rather not know about.

I've got to do a review of our housing application today, so I've been informed via a message on our social housing account - apparently it has to be renewed every 9 months, or else withdrawn.  At least it gives me the opportunity to add husband's cognitive impairment to the list, although I doubt it will have any effect on our banding.  Whilst the Council are reviewing our application, we're not allowed to put in any bids for 3 weeks, so I hope the perfect property doesn't come up in that time!  Wouldn't that be Sod's Law!

Betty's got the vet today for an ear check up following her procedure under anaesthetic, I'm sure it'll be fine, she's had no ear trouble since then.  Although, having said that, she has been shaking her head a few times this morning.....although the vet said it could just be her trying to dislodge some wax when I mentioned it to them before.  Oh, when husband was waiting for me in the supermarket car park the other day (he has the tailgate open and sits there with Betty), a man stopped and said Betty was the most beautiful dog he'd ever seen....aww, how lovely.  She does get a lot of praise from strangers actually.

Small wonder, who could resist that face?!

Eating simply

 Whilst we were away in the van, we had essentially a cooked breakfast for dinner one evening - bacon, chipolata sausages, eggs, tinned tomatoes, mushrooms and a hash brown.  I've been eating the odd rasher of bacon and pork sausage very occasionally, although I now usually buy turkey sausages - somehow, I can stomach them better.  Well, this time, for whatever reason, I just couldn't eat the bacon or sausages - one bite of each and that was that, the dog had the rest, I just ate the eggs, toms, mushrooms and hash brown.  I think I can safely say now that I'm not eating any kind of meat anymore - I've not eaten beef, pork, lamb or gammon for about a year, although I have continued to eat a little bit of chicken (and the aforementioned bacon and sausages) about once every 10 days or 2 weeks.  I use minced chicken to make cottage pies, chilli, lasagne etc, I find beef mince far too greasy tasting now.  But I've now totally gone off the idea of eating any sort of meat, it'll just be fish and veggie dishes for me.  I do love fish, more or less any kind, and some shellfish - prawns and crab, I don't eat mussels, cockles or the like.  Oh, I don't like calamari either.

Like Sue of A Smaller and Simpler Life and now her new rations blog, I do like the idea of eating simply, and fresh food cooked from scratch.  I think nowadays there's just far too much choice - not that that's a bad thing per se, but it kind of makes one feel they've got to mix things up and eat masses of different things all the time.  Our parents and grandparents didn't have such a huge choice of foods, they all ate simply but well.  When I was a child Mum cooked more or less the same things on the same days each week - a roast on Sundays, cottage pie using the leftover meat on Mondays, sausage mash and peas another day, liver & bacon casserole, soup and a cheese sandwich, chippy tea from the fish shop on Fridays (Mum and Dad had fish, us kids had sausage or fishcakes or a Saveloy - what even are they? 😂).  Saturdays we usually had something with chips or something on toast that we could eat in front of the TV.  Mum wasn't a very imaginative cook and didn't enjoy cooking, but we were always fed well, no hungry bellies, and she did make cakes and puddings - fairy cakes or rock cakes, puddings were sponge with fruit underneath and custard, or rice pud.  Sundays after the roast we had tinned fruit and evaporated milk, or sometimes Angel Delight, a real treat we thought.

Husband continues to eat meat, he's a real carnivore and I wouldn't dream of making him become vegetarian, although he's happy to eat veggie meals occasionally.  He got himself a doorstep thick pork chop for this Sunday (that's assuming he can chew it after his dentist visit!)....the look of that thick slab of meat with the white fat edging and rind makes me feel queasy.  He'll cook it himself, thankfully.  I love a plate of roast and green vegetables, stuffing and gravy and sometimes a Yorkie, it's the most carbs I eat in a week.  I sometimes have a slice of homemade nut roast, but quite often just the veg.

I've decided to have a go at making my own yogurt, the slow cooker way.  I eat a lot of Greek yogurt, on the rare occasion I have breakfast it's usually a bowl of yogurt with berries and nuts, and one of my favourite lunches is thickly sliced cucumber, crumbled feta cheese and olives topped with Greek yogurt flavoured with mint and a little garlic paste.

Good news (for a change, ha)

 It was nice to be away at the van, even if it wasn't as relaxed and happy as usual, what with husband's bad toothache and me not feeling well for the past fortnight.  It wasn't just us with problems, several of our friends there also had difficulties of one kind or another.  Our lovely van neighbours C&J had a stone from a passing car hit their windscreen, causing a foot-long crack.  The friend on the other side of them was bitten several times by some insect on his leg, he had a bad reaction to it (he's got quite poor health anyway) and felt so bad yesterday he and his wife had to go home.  Another friend there had a 'funny turn' (his wife's words, a couple of dizzy spells) and spent a couple of days in bed.  And yet another van neighbour rang the site owner yesterday to say his wife, who's been quite ill for a while, has now gone into hospital and it looks like she may not come out.  That's the trouble with an ageing population I suppose, I would say two-thirds of the van owners are retired couples.  Every year in our site annual newsletter, the owner has sad news of at least one van owner having died.  Our van neighbours C&J have gone home too, but are coming back in a fortnight, so we'll no doubt go back there then.

Anyway, it's nice to be home, much more space and a much bigger bed!  Although Betty does sleep on my bed in the van for part of every night, she can't stretch out properly as it's too small (being a narrow single) so gets off (thankfully!) after an hour or two.  At home though, she stretches out comfortably on my big bed and stays all night.

Husband rang 111 this morning, as instructed by his dentist - they were kind but ultimately unhelpful - no available dentists, take painkillers in recommended quantities and rinse with salt water (as I said, he's already doing that).  They advised him to ring his own dentist every day to see if they have any cancellations.....well he did that straight after and, miracle of miracles, he's got in tomorrow morning!  It means we've had to change the time and day of Betty's vet appointment, but had no problem changing it to Saturday morning.

Another thing that pleased me - I weighed myself this morning, my weight loss has stagnated at 10lbs for the past 3 or 4 weeks....at least it wasn't going back on, so I wasn't too bothered.  We actually ate quite sensibly whilst away - no crisps or chocolate biscuits, stayed fairly low carb although we did have beans on toast for lunches a couple of times, and had battered cod from the fish shop (no chips, just the cod) yesterday.  And I ate all the batter!  So I wouldn't have been surprised to see a small gain on the scales - to my astonishment I've lost another 2lbs, so 12lbs now in total, yippee!  Incidentally, we've not had fish and chips (as a takeaway from a chippie I mean) for probably more than a year, so I was quite shocked to find out it cost just under £20 for 3 pieces of battered cod 😲.  Eating out has skyrocketed in price, we won't be doing that in a hurry again.  We got 3 pieces because Betty had one, she loves fish - we don't give her all of the batter though.  It was lovely I must say, despite the huge price.

He already is

 Husband has been taking cocodamol and using a salt water mouth rinse for the past fortnight, ever since the toothache started.

On the subject of medication, some of you have suggested his statins may be to blame for his memory problems.  Actually, I don't believe they are - he's been on statins for years, but his memory problems have only occurred in the last few months.  Both the psychologist who did the tests and his cardiologist have said it's due to insufficient oxygenated blood getting through to his brain, caused by his heart failure - hence his diagnosis of cognitive impairment with vascular properties.  I know statins are demonised (I'm not sticking up for them, I refuse to take them myself!), but they're not the culprit here - his heart failure is.

It's 02.30 and I just cannot sleep, brain is whirling.  I'll be fit for nothing in the morning, just as well we've decided to go home early.

The limit

 We've decided to go home Thursday.  Husband has had quite severe toothache for a fortnight, he can't get to see his dentist until the end of the month. When he asked how he was supposed to cope with the pain until then, they told him to rinse his mouth with salt water and ring 111 if it got too bad.  Helpful - not!  I've been telling him to ring 111 but he won't, says he'll wait until his appointment (and keep moaning until then).  In the meantime, he's like a bear with a sore head - well I suppose a sore head/face is exactly what he's got.  Being stuck in a small space with someone who's grouchy and doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere isn't pleasant.  Him more or less telling me I was stupid this morning, over something I didn't know about and had no reason to know, resulted in a big row.  I put up with a lot, but there is a limit and that was it.  He's now acting like nothing's happened, whereas I'll probably have a sleepless night with it all preying on my mind.

Thank you all for your support, in the form of comments and emails.  I'll try and reply when I get home.

Actually, one of those weeks

 Whilst I do love being here at the van, I've not felt at all well since we got here.  I'm incredibly tired, regardless of how much sleep I get, feel totally run down, off my food (everything makes me feel queasy).  Even our lovely van neighbour Charlie (and let's face it, men are not known for noticing things) asked me yesterday if I was feeling alright, as he said I looked peaky (now there's an old fashioned word).

I do feel peaky.  I expect it's because of all the worry leading up to husband's diagnosis, the feeling of being abandoned without any help when he was simply diagnosed and then immediately discharged, the daily and ongoing stress of more to do and coping with husband's ongoing memory loss.  I know he can't help it, it's not his fault, but it is so incredibly wearing having to repeat things over and over again, numerous times a day, every day.  And coping with his snappyness and biting my head off when I have to remind him of something, or ask him to do a job.  I don't retaliate, I bite my tongue so often it's a wonder I haven't bitten it off.  I sometimes feel I can't do this anymore, but I have to, I don't have a choice.  There's no way he could cope on his own and no way I would leave him to it.  I think I'll have to focus on improving my health so I can cope better.  I'm certainly finding it very difficult indeed to cope right now.

I have told a couple of people (in real life I mean) how things are and how difficult I'm finding it, but it's clear they don't understand - or don't want to get involved, probably.  So writing it down here is my only outlet, I'm not risking talking to people who I thought would care but clearly don't anymore.

One of those days

 Don't get me wrong, I'm having a lovely time here. Especially as today I'm on my own for a very welcome and much needed few hours alone whilst husband has gone home with Betty.  But sometimes, thankfully rarely, life as it is now just all gets too much for me and I've been in floods of tears and feeling very much like those who should care, just don't.

It'll all be back to normal tomorrow, I'll have my big girls pants on again. And I'll have an even bigger barrier up around myself, so no bugger will get in.

The gang's all here

 It rained pretty much solidly, albeit fairly light, until early afternoon yesterday, and then the clouds cleared and the sun came out late in the day. And now we have bright sunshine this morning, lovely.  Several of our van neighbours are here, so we're going to have a really nice time.  Our neighbour on the other side has acquired a 3rd dog, a bouncy noisy Labrador puppy to go with her 2 very yappy spaniels, the three of them together do make a lot of noise which unfortunately makes Betty anxious, but hopefully they'll be going home soon, they don't tend to stay very long.  Having the boiler serviced this morning, gardening the rest of the day - everything has shot up, including the grass, due to all the rain.

Off then, whatever the weather

 Not much sleep the past couple of nights, tossing and turning all night, too much on my mind probably.  It'll be better at the caravan, I generally sleep fairly well there - except if it's too hot through the night.  I'm up very early this morning, but that's no bother - got a couple of things to do before we go off.  I've just boiled half a dozen eggs, they'll do for lunches for the next couple of days, or if husband fancies a quick snack he can just grab one out of the fridge.

Just the chilled food to put in the cool box, and our medications to sort out - I've done mine, husband's will take a bit longer as he takes so many.  I've put the frozen food for next week in the top freezer drawer, so it's easily accessible for husband to bring back with him on Friday or Saturday (he may stay home overnight Friday, he's not made up his mind yet).  I've also put fresh clothes for both of us on my bed for next week, so he can bring those as well.  It's so handy living fairly close to the van, means we don't have to pack tons of stuff for a fortnight away, and we can easily pop home for a day when required.

I've got no real plans for the next fortnight, we'll just take each day as it comes.  Bearing in mind it's school hols, we definitely won't be going to any tourist places, and any shopping will be done first thing in the morning, whilst holidaymakers are having a lie in.  I'm just looking forward to 2 weeks of relaxation, catching up with friends, reading and crocheting.

The weather's dull and a bit showery for today and tomorrow, but a lovely day is forecast for Thursday.  Forecast is mixed for a few days after that, but there will be some sun and it won't be raining all the time.  We know there will be more fellow owners there, so husband will have pals to chat to.

I no longer take my laptop with me (still can't get the blimmin mifi thingy to connect, I know not why), not that it's a bother, I can access everything on my phone, although the wifi signal is a bit hit and miss.  And I can't comment on blogs on my phone, again not sure why.  I'll probably do the odd short blog post whilst we're away.  Have a good time, whatever you're going to be doing.

Attention span of a goldfish

 I spent nearly all day in the kitchen yesterday.  Cooked the chicken mince and then made 2 lasagnes and 2 cottage pies from it.  Chopped a butternut squash, half was boiled and mashed (which became the topping for one of the cottage pies), the other half diced and roasted.  Sliced a whole bag of carrots and roasted them in the air fryer, then portioned and froze.  Finely sliced a whole green cabbage, stir fried/steamed it in butter and a tiny splash of water, portioned it up and froze it.  Sliced and lightly fried the courgettes a neighbour gave us and open froze them on a tray.   That's all the veggies done for our first week at the caravan, along with some frozen peas and sweetcorn.  We'll have one of the lasagnes and one cottage pie at the van this week, I have some chicken fillets which I'll wrap in smoked streaky bacon for another meal, along with a pack of turkey and caramelised red onion sausages and lemon & pepper dusted sole for 2 more meals.  Lunches will be the gammon I cooked for husband, as sandwiches or salad, and canned tuna or salmon or cottage cheese with salad for me.  Breakfast he pleases himself, I rarely eat breakfast.

I asked husband to make sure he cut the lawns front and back yesterday.  The front lawn is the size of a postage stamp so only takes him 5 mins max, the back lawn he generally has to stop for a break halfway - it's not huge by any means but does wear him out, understandably.  I couldn't hear the lawnmower going whilst he was supposed to cutting the front lawn, but could hear his voice, he was gassing to one of the neighbours, but it eventually got done.  He'd been out the back for 15 mins or so when I realised he was nowhere to be seen (the kitchen is at the back of the house and there was no sign of husband from the kitchen window).  As I needed to speak to him anyway to remind him to give a message to a neighbour, I went out to look for him - he was in the service road at the back of our house, this service road leads to the other 3 houses which have their parking spaces in their back gardens - our parking space is at the side of our house.  So really the service road is nothing to do with us, our garden is accessed from the side behind our parking space and garage.  Husband was cutting the grass along the verge of the service road. 😒 Since mowing the lawn does make him breathless, and he hadn't even started on our back lawn (which arguably is more important than a verge along a service road which is not our responsibility!), I suggested it might be better if he stopped that and cut our lawn instead.  Honestly, he's got absolutely zero idea of priorities, and is so easily distracted from a job.  Which I know is a feature of the cognitive impairment.

Just the 2 fruit cakes and cheese scones to make this morning, pack the clothes this afternoon, pack Betty's food and treats, bit of banking to do and then I'm done, thank goodness, I'm knackered.

Busy day

 We all slept much better last night, in fact I didn't wake up until 06.50, which is late for me.  I didn't get all the batch cooking done yesterday, the day ran away with me.  I riced a large cauliflower, cooked it then made it into cheesy herby cauli mash, portioned it up and froze that.  I also cooked a small gammon in the slow cooker, for husband's lunches during the week.  I then did a freezer inventory and menu plan for the first week of our van stay.  Husband will be coming home on Friday with Betty, she has a grooming appointment, he'll bring home washing, collect some more clothes and some more home cooked ready meals from out of the freezer - I'll give him a list.  I also did a short cool wash and loaded the machine again with an overnight wash - yesterday's wash went on the airer upstairs as it was raining (for a change....not!) and far too windy, the wash from overnight will go out on the line today (hooray!).

So this morning I'm doing a huge pan of chicken mince, browning it off with red onions, tomatoes, grated carrot, herbs and spices.  Half of it will be used to make lasagnes (as mentioned before, with thinly sliced courgettes instead of pasta sheets), the other half for cottage pies, awaiting a topping of cauli or butternut squash mash.  I've got a large b'nut squash to peel, chop and cook today - half will be boiled and mashed, the other half diced and roasted.  I season both with smoked paprika and sage, which I think go really well with the squash.

I'm making 2 fruit cakes tomorrow, one for our lovely van neighbours C&J, the other (a small one) for husband.  I'm also going to make half a dozen cheese scones - well, we will be going to the van so we need a treat! (I won't be eating any of the cake, but the scones - oh yes!).

The tins, jars and packet food we're taking with us has been gathered on the table for the past few days, ready to pack tomorrow afternoon, when I'll also be packing the clothes.  Some tinned food, all the toiletries, bedding and towels and some clothes are kept at the van anyway, so there's not too much needing to be taken with us.  So Tuesday morning it's just the freezer box to pack and then off we go.

Husband loads the car, that's his job.  I'm very organised with regard to the food and packing and don't need him to 'help' - he only hinders and needs telling what to do every 5 minutes, it's easier for him to just stay out of my way and leave me to get on.  I do ask him to get his clothes out ready for me to pack (and then have to go through them, discarding some and adding others - he always gets out too many tops and not enough bottoms!).

And then it's going to be a fortnight of relaxation.  And oh boy am I ready for it.

Better weekend

 Betty had a bit of a restless night, which meant I did too.  She'd sleep very deeply for about an hour, then wake up and jump off the bed and wander round the bedroom and landing, whining a little bit.  She soon came back to bed when I called her though, and settled down again quite quickly.  She seems fine this morning, she's had her breakfast, been out for a (wet and windy) walk and wee and is now fast asleep again.  What a life!  😂  Her ears seem fine, they're not drooping anymore (which was a sure sign she's got an ear infection) and she's not shaking her head anymore either, so looks like the procedure and the soothing medication did the trick.

I'm doing a lot of batch cooking and food prep this weekend, making and freezing stuff to take with us to the van next week.  I'm really looking forward to going, we're planning on staying at least a fortnight - weather permitting!  It seems ages since we last stayed at the van, the weather's been so crap lately.  Although we have had the odd day there about once a week.

We normally have potatoes in some form or other, rice or pasta with our meals, although that's not an option with our current low carb diet.  So instead I've been doing cauli cheese mash, mashed spicy butternut squash, roasted Mediterranean veg, Julienned courgettes instead of spaghetti (I did have a spiraliser but it broke ages ago).  I've also used courgettes thinly sliced lengthways, boiled for a minute or grilled first, instead of the pasta sheets in a lasagne, very successful.

I've got several books to take with me, and have started on the crocheted blanket for our next door neighbour's expected baby.  As she's quite Bohemian and hippy-ish, I thought rather than cream with perhaps lilac or lemon or mint green accents, a more 'alternative' colour scheme would go down well.  I'm using dove grey for the main part of the blanket, with border stripes of deep teal green and mustard yellow.  I'll also crochet some flowers to stitch onto the main part.  I'm not following a pattern, I just more or less make it up as I go along.

It's stopped raining and there are patches of blue sky now, but still very windy.  It's forecast to be better tomorrow, so I should be able to get washing on the line, it's not ideal having washing on airers indoors but needs must sometimes.

All done

 We've been home for about an hour, Betty's the quietest I've ever seen her, but is ok.  When the vet gave her the pre-med she was zonked out completely within 10 minutes, in fact we even checked a couple of times to see if she was actually still breathing!  The vet said he'd given her quite a hefty dose as she's a big chunky dog - well, she's only medium height but solid, she weighs a smidgeon under 30kg.

Being half Shar Pei, she has very small narrow ear channels, which are very hairy inside.  The vet didn't find any grass seeds, but said there was matted fur deep inside her ears, spiky with dried wax, this is what was causing the inflammation.  He cut it out and showed us, it looked like half a dozen little fishing flies, a couple of which did look rather like grass seeds.  As her ear channels are so narrow, they have to use cat-sized instruments(!!) despite her being so big and chunky.

Following the procedure, it took about 10 minutes for her to come round, she looked totally bemused and as if she had no idea where she was.  She's still sleeping it off now.  She's had medication to soothe her ears, and has to go back for a follow up in a fortnight.

I'm very glad that's over, that she came round from the anaesthetic successfully and that there's nothing more serious going on.  The vet did say she's always likely to have ear problems (she has done all her life so far anyway) as nobody can stop the hairs growing in her ears!  He reckoned our insurance should cover the (considerable) costs and will get in touch with them himself, so we didn't have to pay today (which pleased husband!  Personally, I'd pay whatever it costs without question).

Here she is in recovery - which is a small comfortably furnished lounge for patients and their parents. 

The staff there are wonderful, they couldn't have been nicer, offering us drinks and popping in every few minutes to see if we were ok.  They're a small independent surgery run by a husband and wife team who live on the premises, their nurses are lovely too and we're all on first name terms.

10.15 this morning

 None of us slept well last night, even Betty was very restless (picked up on my restlessness, no doubt, as well as her ear bothering her).  She's not to have any breakfast this morning, just water, so she'll probably wonder what's going on and why we're being mean and starving her.

I know the chances are she'll be fine, but it doesn't stop me worrying.  She really doesn't like going to the vets, even though they're nothing but friendly, cheerful and nice to her.....it's hardly surprising, she always has nasty things done to her when she's there!

And yes K, the thought of making her earmuffs to protect her ears from grass seeds did make me smile - she doesn't even like wearing her coat when it's raining, I can imagine her reaction to earmuffs!

I think she'll be getting some fresh cooked chicken or fish later on, as well as lots of cuddles.

My stomach's churning with nervousness so not sure whether I'll be eating anything!

Oh no!

 Husband took Betty back to the vet today for her 2nd ear check following treatment for her latest ear infection 2 weeks ago.  Unfortunately, her ear is no better and they're thinking she may have a grass seed stuck deep inside her ear - she wouldn't hold still long enough for them to have a proper look (she hates going to the vet).  So she's got to go back tomorrow morning to be put under sedation, so they can examine her ear canal properly and deal with any possible problem.  They said we can sit with her whilst she goes under the sedation, and afterwards when she's coming round, if we want - well of course I want!!  I wouldn't leave my baby by herself, even though I know she's in safe hands.  So I won't be getting much sleep tonight 😨

Batch cooking, and one irritation less

 Thank you for all the low carb snack ideas, I'll check them all out over the weekend.  I've got lots of reading to do now, all the leaflets and memory handbook I ordered from the Alzheimers Society arrived yesterday, not had a chance to look through them yet.  

I'm doing some batch cooking in the next few days.  I bought a kilo of minced chicken yesterday, I shall use half to make moussaka and the other half for lasagne, using courgettes thinly sliced lengthways instead of pasta sheets.  I'm also going to make an asparagus, mushroom and red onion risotto, with a little chopped smoked salmon for flavour.  Instead of rice I'll use cauliflower riced in my processor.  I'll do a big tray of roasted Mediterranean veggies as well.  All of these will be portioned up and frozen for caravan meals, they can be reheated in the microwave or air fryer, I rarely use the caravan oven now.

I usually make cake to take to the van with us, I wasn't going to make any this time.....however, our van neighbours C&J asked hopefully if I will be bringing cake - they love my cakes and said they'll be more than happy to eat it so we don't have to! 😂  So I'll make a small fruit cake just for them, J says she rarely bothers to make cakes nowadays, they buy them instead, but jump at the chance for some homemade cake.

Husband offered to make the dogfood for Betty yesterday, I had to oversee it but it saves me a job.  He does make a mess in the kitchen though and isn't great at clearing up after himself.

He did come into the supermarket with me yesterday, much to my irritation.  Every few minutes he's bombarding me with questions "Do we want this?", "Shall we get that?", "How many milks shall I get?".  He puts stuff in the trolley without telling me, meaning when I pick up the same thing I then find he's already put it in and so one of them has to go back on the shelf.  He gets things we don't need and aren't on my list, or he gets the wrong size or brand.  He thinks he's helping, but he's not - quite the opposite.  I've now actually requested that he stays in the car from now on and leaves me to do it on my own.  He's far too distracting, he constantly interrupts my thought processes and makes it harder for me to do the shop quickly.  And he always exclaims loudly at the price at the checkout:  "How much?!?!". 😒 He was quite agreeable to my request, he'll just put the radio on and fall asleep in the car I expect.

Back to blustery winds and heavy rain again from the early hours this morning, weather forecasters are saying we have to get used to these weather extremes now.  

Planning for next week

We got to the van yesterday and had a nice few hours there.  All was well, although the grass, plants and weeds have all grown a lot with all the rain we've been having.  There were a few other owners there, ones we haven't seen for a while, so had a catch up.  It was quite a nice day weatherwise, oh and husband remembered to turn off the water when we left, without me reminding him again (I did mention it once). 

We're planning on going next week regardless of the weather and staying for a week or more.  Our lovely van neighbours C&J texted me yesterday to say they're hoping to go next week and will be staying for a fortnight or so, so that's something to look forward to, we do really enjoy their company.

Having done the very small top up shop the other day, I'm doing a big stock up shop today.  We need a couple of things from other shops, so I'll send husband off to get those after he's dropped me off at Sainsburys, so I can do the main shop in peace.

I need to plan our meals for the caravan, I want to stick to our low carb diet - when we're at the van we do quite often go off piste and have a few treats like crisps, crumpets, garlic bread, homemade sausage rolls and the occasional cake.  None of which can be classed as low carb though!  I'll see what low carb 'treat' type things I can come up with to make and take with us - if anyone has any suggestions, feel free to let me know.  We both love salted nuts which are of course low carb - but they're also high calorie and so moreish it's easy to eat too many of them!

The new available housing list is out today, there are 2 bungalows I've put bids on.  Neither of them is perfect, they don't meet all our requirements, but they'll do - if we wait for the perfect property we'll be waiting forever.  It would be nice to just get as far as a viewing!

Shopping irritations, and the weather

 1st August - blimey!

Husband came in with me when I was doing the mini top up shop yesterday - quite often he stays in the car, but I suspect because I'd gone to Aldi, he was drawn in by the lure of the middle aisles.  As I said yesterday, I'd written a list and was determined to stick to it - I told husband that.  Might as well have been talking to a brick wall - he kept picking up things that I didn't want or need and adding them to the trolley - such as a jar of coffee, which wasn't on my list - I told him but he said Aldi's one was cheaper than the Sainsbury's one I usually get.  Well yes it is - but he doesn't like the Aldi one and complained about it the last time I bought it!  Which of course he'd forgotten and denied all knowledge of.  I was almost tempted to buy it anyway, to see his reaction when he drank it!  😂  He also put eggs and dog food in the trolley, neither of which I needed and so had to tell him to put them back.  I much prefer it when he stays in the car and I can shop in peace and without his 'help'.

On the subject of shopping, I always use one of the smaller trolleys, unless I'm doing a rare big stock up shop.  For the past few weeks though, I've noticed a distinct lack of small trolleys, sometimes (especially at Sainsburys) there are none outside at all, and it's not as if the shop is ever really busy with loads of singletons, couples or small families using the small trolleys.  The cynic in me says it's a money-making ploy by the retailers - reasoning that if the customer is forced to use a bigger trolley, they'll automatically buy more!  Well I don't.  It just irritates me using a bigger trolley as I find it harder, with my bad back, to bend over and reach down to get stuff out of the bottom of the big deep trolleys.

Fingers crossed, the weather looks better today so looks like we will be able to get to the van this morning. Just for the day though, we're not staying overnight as there's yet another band of heavy rain due overnight and tomorrow morning.  And now the forecasters are saying we might have rain and cooler temperatures throughout August too - what happened to our summer?  Although I have to say I'm so glad we haven't got or had the scorching temperatures some countries have been experiencing, I think Betty and I would have had heatstroke, neither of us copes well with hot weather.  20-25 C (68-77 F) is just fine for me - although just lately our temperatures have been lower than that, around 18 or 19, below normal for this time of year.

Brenda (welcome back, where have you been?  I missed you) - you're right, we haven't been to the van as often so far this year.  It's a combination of reasons - we've had rather a lot of medical appointments - well, mainly husband - which are all nearer to home than the van.  The weather hasn't been very good, we've not had periods of consistently good sunny dry weather like we had last year, apart from some in June, which has meant far fewer of our fellow van owners have been coming down to their vans either, so the park is very quiet indeed - too quiet for husband's liking, he gets bored with no-one to talk to.  And when it's raining often, we don't go out much, which means husband just has the TV on in the van all the time and promptly falls asleep in front of it.  I like to sit out in the van garden and read a book, which obviously I can't do in the rain.  I just hope the weather improves very soon and we have a warm and dry late summer.  It would be a pity if we couldn't make such good use of the van this year.  It does look as though the weather MIGHT be a bit better next week, so hopefully we may be able to go there and actually stay for a while.  We'll see.