Everything's up in the air

 Husband is getting chest pains regularly now - not severe ones, but enough to make him rub his chest.  They're eased by him using his GTN spray.....although I still frequently have to tell him to actually use it!  He doesn't like using it because it doesn't taste very nice (apparently), makes him a bit light headed and gives him a headache.....all side effects which wear off very quickly.  I just say to him 'well would you rather be dead?!' - yes I know, not very sympathetic, but effective as it makes him use the spray.  He's also still getting very breathless with the slightest exertion.  The last time he was like this, he had to go in hospital and have 3 stents fitted.  

He had an ECG and bloods taken yesterday, I told him to ask the nurse to ensure the GP rings us immediately if the ECG showed up anything worrying, as we're due to go on holiday.  He hasn't rung so far - husband will ring the surgery this afternoon to hopefully get results.....the ECG results can be noted as soon as the GP looks at it, the bloods generally take 1 day to come back from the lab.  I'm still not sure whether we will in fact be going away, it depends a) on the results, and b) how husband is feeling.  He says he wants to go, as do I, but we'll see.

Betty had to have a second lot of drops when she went back to the vet this week for her check up, the ear infection is being slow to clear this time, hopefully this second lot will do it.  She seems brighter and isn't shaking her head so much, and was keen to play early this morning (I'm not really in the mood for playing excitable games at 06.30, but did my best to oblige).

We had big plans for an exciting project that would give us something lovely for our future....it's in doubt now though because of husband's health.  Never say never though, I'm not giving up entirely, we'll just have to see what happens.  There's no doubt that there's something going on with husband's health, his heart failure worsening most likely, but hopefully it can be helped by either more stents, or an adjustment of his medication.  Or both.  

I'm stressed up to the eyeballs with it all, not sleeping, so forgetful i have to make lists every day of things i need to do.  I completely forgot about a pan of veg I was boiling yesterday, until husband noticed the smell - the pan had boiled dry and was burnt.  I didn't smell anything as my hayfever was really bad yesterday, I'd sneezed my head off all day and my nose was totally blocked.  I have a perpetual headache and keep getting palpitations - they're stress related, I haven't got heart problems (I was checked out a while ago).  I need to take a bit of time out for some slow breathing listening to a meditation app on my phone - i keep thinking i must do it and then something else crops up and i don't get round to it.  If we do get away on holiday, I'm doing nothing all week - I'll take art supplies with me (I've got some new art pens, coloured pencils and 'adult' type crayons) and some books and just relax.  I've bought husband a load of second hand DVDs so he'll be content watching all those.