Lots of firsts....and an elephant's condom

 Thank you for being tolerant of my need to vent....having got it out of my system, I'm ok today.  After a very uncomfortable night, I'm very stiff this morning but with less pain - having dosed up on the cocodamol again the pain is down to normal manageable levels.  Talking of last night, both Betty and I were woken up twice by noises in our loft space, sort of scrabbling/scraping noises.  It freaked Betty out a bit - she bolted upright (she was on my bed at the time) and stared at the ceiling, whimpering....I just patted her and said it was ok, and she settled back down to sleep again within a couple of minutes (I wish I could fall asleep as quick as she does!).  Happened again half hour or so later.  Husband said this morning he heard it too from his room.  It's probably a squirrel or a bird (bit too loud for a mouse), it's happened before in previous houses.  I just hope it's not rats! (we had rats in the loft in our last house).

Lots of 'firsts' with our homegrown produce now - we'll have our first lettuce, beetroot and yellow courgettes today, and I'll be using some of the shallot long leaves chopped up in our prawn fried rice this evening - they're just like spring onions.  There should be just enough fresh peas for the weekend, I noticed this morning the pods are now filling out.  And we'll have our first new potatoes at the weekend too.  We're getting a small bowlful of strawberries every day now, they're so sweet and juicy.

My brother was given a long waterproof plastic sleeve by the hospital to cover his cast when he has a shower - he described it as looking like a condom for an elephant 😂😂😳.  Now there's an image I didn't really want in my mind!

I want to buy some bedding dahlias next week, there are a few gaps in my flower borders and I'd like them filled with colour.  I never used to like dahlias, I always thought of them as 'old people plants'.....well, guess what, now I am one!

Another 'getting it off my chest' post

 ....so comments are temporarily turned off.

Incidentally, when I titled my yesterday's post 'Sad old lady' - I didn't mean I felt sad - emotionally I'm fine actually, I just meant more 'Pathetic old lady' or something of that ilk.

I mentioned to husband yesterday that more deadheading and weeding (the dreaded bindweed again) needed doing.  He went out this morning to tie in the tomato and cucumber plants, which took him all of 5 minutes, then came in and plonked himself in front of his computer.  I went to do the weeding and deadheading, taking the garden kneeler/stool thing, the big trug we use for weeding etc and my snippers.  The bindweed was everywhere, including in husband's raised vegetable beds, which he didn't seem to have noticed!  I spent half an hour out there, moving the stool every couple of minutes (it's hard to get up off it with no handles on it and a bad back/hip), pulling up handfuls of bindweed, cutting down the spent aquilegias (loads of them) and deadheading roses and pinks.  By the time I'd finished, the trug was almost full and my back was killing me, I'm now almost crippled.  But at least the job's done for another couple of days.

Unless I ask husband specifically to do a specific job, pointing out to him exactly what needs doing, he doesn't do anything.  He sits outside frequently, dozing in the sun (I even have to remind him almost every time to wear his hat, as he's been told to by the GP as his ears and bald patch get scabby in the sun), surrounded by dead spiky leaves that continually fall off the horrible yucca, oblivious to them (and everything else).  

Someone has to do the weeding, deadheading, picking up all the dead spiky leaves etc, and that someone is me!  Regardless of my aches and pains, if a job needs doing then I get on and do it.  I know there'll come a time when husband is physically incapable of doing things, so I'll have to do it all then anyway.  And yes I could ask husband to do things, but sometimes the backchat, moans and grumpiness just aren't worth the hassle.  And unless he's supervised then he forgets what he's doing, or does it wrong (like pulling up plants that aren't weeds, or cutting off flower buds because he mistook them for dead seed heads....both of which he's done).  So it's easier to just get on and do it myself.

And I'm fine, I'm just venting (again!).

Sad old lady :(

 My lumbar disc popped out again at the weekend so I've been in agony for the past few days.  The chronic trochanteric bursitis in my hips has chosen to flare up as well, with my left hip being particularly painful and stiff.  Of course both of these conditions are affecting my stance, balance and walking, so the arthritis in my left knee is also playing up!  I feel like a sad old lady right now, I don't usually think of myself as being old but my body is saying otherwise.  Usually I just try to ignore the pain and push through it, carrying on with housework, cooking, gardening etc as normal, which is what I've been doing the past few days.  However, when I was putting washing on the line early this morning, my disc moved or stretched or something, sending a pain shooting down the back of my right leg and I stumbled and almost fell over, if I hadn't grabbed onto the whirlygig pole (banging my head on one of the cross poles in the process) I would have fallen.  Now of course I'm in even more pain and my right big toe has gone numb again, so the disc is obviously pressing on a nerve.  I think my body is telling me to rest up, or at least be very careful for a couple of days.  I can't take anti-inflammatories as I have an adverse reaction to them, so I've had to resort to the co-codamol (and a glass of Laxido to counteract the inevitable constipation!).  I'll rest for today, and start doing some gentle stretches tomorrow.  

We're having jacket spuds and chilli chicken out of the freezer for dinner, so at least I haven't got to cook and husband can heat everything up, after I've told him how to work the Ninja (because of his cognitive memory problems, he forgets every time).  I was going to make a quiche for lunch today, but perhaps not, we'll have something on toast instead, which husband can do.

I've temporarily given up sorting through boxes (still haven't found the crochet hooks), but now is a good time to sit and sew in the ends on the 3 lap blankets that need it doing.  I've been putting it off the past few days as I hate doing it, but might as well get on with it now whilst I'm incapacitated - no excuse really.

My brother's op went well, apparently the surgeon did an extra thing inside his arm as he wasn't convinced the repair would hold with just one thing.  Bro is home and getting used to the idea of not using his arm much for the first couple of weeks - been told he can't start physio until he goes back to hospital on 11th June.

Very gusty winds again today, bright sunshine though.  I've put extra pegs on the washing to make sure it stays in place.

Lovely hamper and lovely Betty

 We're not doing anything today, it's not the weather for going out - rainy, cold and windy all day, although it was actually bright sunshine when I got up at 06.30, didn't last long though.  My sister has sent us a hamper of delicious posh edibles, including a fruit cake so we'll have some of that with our coffee this afternoon, rather than braving the weather and going out.  How lovely of her:-

My poor brother is in hospital having his arm repaired today, he snapped a tendon in his left arm (sadly, he's left-handed!) a few days ago, he's not allowed to drive for 6 weeks.  Bit of a blow as he has his own very successful tour guide business in Cornwall and it's come just as his busy season is starting.

I haven't yet found my crochet hooks....I know they're here somewhere, I vaguely recall seeing the case in a box when I was looking for something else a few months back.  They'll come to light soon, I've got a few more boxes to look through yet, sod's law says it'll no doubt be the last box I look in!

I can see from my bedroom window that some of our yellow courgettes are nearly big enough to pick, we'll be able to have the first of them by the weekend I'm sure.  Husband dodged the showers to pick some more strawberries earlier, so we'll have them after our dinner this evening.  I made the chicken and mushroom pie this morning, I made the pastry too - wholemeal with an added egg which really seems to improve the texture and taste of the pastry.  I put herbs in it for added flavour.

What a horrible end to the Liverpool celebrations yesterday, so many people hurt, it's a miracle that nobody was killed.  What on earth was he doing, I wonder?  Police are saying it's not terrorism related.

My lovely baby is sleeping in her bed right beside my chair, she follows me around from room to room and likes to be with me:-

(She opened her eyes just as I took the photo!).

Shame and joy in equal measure

 It's been quite chilly this morning, I had to put a cardigan on....we've had several showers, a bit of sunshine and blustery wind again.  The garden is loving it, even if I'm not.

I've been sorting out my yarn boxes - I've still got more than I thought, I definitely won't need to buy any yarn anytime soon (ever again, probably!).  I was surprised to find 8 lap blankets in various stages of completion - 2 finished ones, another needing a border row and the ends weaving in, 2 more finished but for the ends weaving, and 3 varying between a third and halfway made, I'd clearly abandoned them for whatever reasons, quite some time ago (I've not done any crochet since we've lived here).  So there's a sense of shame that I have so many UFOs, but I'm actually quite pleased that I have several almost ready to donate to the residents' lounge, having decided that's what I want to do.  Having found all this yarn and UFOs though, I can't begin completing them as I haven't yet managed to find my crochet hooks - I have a complete set of expensive ones with wide padded handles, in a case....the ordinary old-fashioned metal slim hooks don't suit me as they give me cramps in my hands and fingers.  I expect they're in a box somewhere, although why I didn't pack them in one of the yarn boxes I don't know - that would have been the logical thing to do! 😒  I'll have another look this afternoon, they must be here somewhere, I wouldn't have got rid of them.

Husband brought me another bunch of flowers this morning, a mixed bunch in shades of purple, my favourite colour.  He is doing well, 2 lots of flowers in 2 weeks.....well it is our anniversary tomorrow.

Husband normally chooses to have steak (he cooks it himself) on anniversaries and his birthday, but because he's got teeth trouble he decided not to, he wanted something softer instead that needs less chewing.  I offered to make a chicken and mushroom pie, which he's said yes please to - he had a roast chicken yesterday so there's plenty of chicken left.  I might have a slice of it, or I may decide to have something fishy....I'll see how I feel tomorrow once I've made the pie.  We might pop out for coffee and cake in the afternoon.

Not another madcap idea!

 Husband told me yesterday that he's got a wobbly tooth, yet another one.  I asked if he'd mentioned it to the dentist when he went last week....he said yes and the dentist had advised taking it out.  So why didn't he, I asked husband, although I'd already guessed why - husband told him no he didn't want it out.  And the reason for that, which he finally confessed to me after some other lame excuses, was that he didn't want to pay for it!  He's not short of money, he could easily afford it, he's just a miser.  He said he'll wait till his next scheduled check up in October.  However, a bit later on he said he'd pull it out himself!!  Now I know there are sometimes stories in the media about people doing DIY dentistry as they can't get dental treatment, which has no doubt given husband the idea, but yet again this is one of his more harebrained ideas.  I reminded him that he's a bleeder - he's on blood thinning meds because of his heart failure and bleeds profusely from minor cuts etc, so pulling his own teeth is not a good idea!  "Oh it'll soon stop" he said - "And what if it doesn't?  I can't rush you to the Minor Injuries unit can I, bearing in mind I can't drive!" I told him.  I've implored him not to do it, let's hope he actually takes notice of me (not that he ever does, he's very wilful and stubborn and won't listen to me even when I say why something isn't a good idea).  It's no wonder I suffer with anxiety.

It's much cooler now, although I wouldn't say it's cold, it's just that we've got used to very warm temperatures over the last few weeks.  There's also a strong wind - again not a cold one as it's coming from the West, but strong enough gusts to blow things around in the garden.  The forecast is much the same for the next few days - changeable, some sunny spells interspersed with showers, cooler than of late and with gusty westerly winds.  I must get out in the garden and do some more deadheading and weeding in between showers, but I doubt we'll be sitting out in the garden having lunch.  We'll probably still go out on trips this week, but will most likely be eating our picnics in the car.

We're now eating our own strawberries from the garden, we've finished the first crop of radishes (more are growing, husband's been doing successional sowings).  We'll be having our first lettuces this week and probably the first beetroots and new potatoes from the first 2 bags planted.  The peas have got lots of little pods on them, so it won't be long before they're ready.  I love it when we can start eating our own produce.

I need to start doing some decluttering - having lived here almost 18 months now, 'stuff' is starting to build up, our wardrobes need thinning out and, shamefully, we still have some unpacked boxes from when we moved in - if we haven't used or missed the contents, then presumably we can do without them!  Although I did give away quite a lot of my yarn stash before we moved, I still have a couple of plastic boxes full - I don't do any crochet during the summer, it's purely a winter pastime for me.  I'm telling myself I am definitely not buying anymore yarn this year, I shall use up what I've got to make scrappy lap blankets, there are loads of old folks' homes around Minehead, it being renowned as a retirement area, so I might ring up some of them and ask if they'd like some lap blankets.  Actually, I think I'll put some in the residents' lounge here - although we don't often go in there, lots of the more elderly and disabled residents do.  Only just thought of that, duh!

Lovely lunch out

 The lunch out yesterday was perfection - lovely weather, sunny but not too hot so we could sit in the very pretty garden.  Not busy at all, it's a bit of a hidden gem being quite out of the way, although I'm guessing it'll probably be busier next week.  The owner, a very cheerful chap who runs it with his wife (it's a village shop as well), was so friendly and chatty, obviously loves his job and is justifiably proud of the place, they took it over just 18 months ago, during which time they've improved it.  

Some photos - taken on my phone and I'm not the world's best photographer, so apologies for the quality!

The gardens - there are 2 areas of garden, we sat in the smaller, quieter one:-

Our food - I had cheese & pesto crumpets with salad, homemade coleslaw and root vegetable crisps (my favourite):-

Husband had the day's special, the Porky Ploughmans, consisting of locally made sausage roll, pork pie, hand cut ham (hidden under everything) and a large wedge of mature Cheddar, salad, pickles and their own homemade red onion relish, with locally made Granary bread.  Both meals delicious.

They make their own cakes too, we were too full to have cake there and then, so we had some boxed up to go, carrot, date & walnut:-

The slices were so enormous we just had the one and shared it between us later at home.  Scrumptious.  To drink, husband had tea (in a mug, which he was happy about) and I had an iced latte.  All very reasonably priced, and so much nicer than a bland veggie burger and chips in a pub.  Not very diabetes or even heart or food intolerance friendly (although they do cater for all kinds of allergies), but fine as an occasional (special occasion) treat.

I'm almost reluctant to say the name of the tea room, as I'd rather it didn't get too busy!  😂  That's not fair though, I wouldn't want to deprive any of you lovely readers of a wonderful treat if you're down this way, and the tea room certainly deserves their business to be a success.  It's the Allerford Village Shop, Tea Room and Gardens in the tiny but beautiful and very quaint village of Allerford, just off the A39 about 4 miles out of Minehead, going up into Exmoor.  The village itself has several very old cottages with gorgeous cottage gardens and veg plots, a stream running through the village with a beautiful old stone bridge, a village hall, forge and blacksmiths and a small rural life museum which is only open a couple of days a week (sadly we've never been on a day that it's open!  We'll remedy that soon).

We've a few more things planned for next week when it's our actual anniversary, but as the weather is going downhill a bit from today and for the next few days, we'll play it by ear and decide in the mornings when we get up.

Warring neighbours

 In the nearly 18 months that we've been living here (where has the time gone?), we've come to realise that some of our fellow neighbours don't get on and there are undercurrents of tension and disagreements going on.  Inevitable I suppose when one lives in a small close community - not everyone is always going to agree, and there'll be personality clashes.  My view, and the way I deal with it, is to just keep out of it as best I can - I have no wish to have verbal punch ups with neighbours, when we all live close by it's far better to get on with everyone, or at least give a pleasant smile and greeting, and if that's not possible, then to just agree to disagree and keep our distance.  Nearby neighbours of ours have fallen out with another neighbour over the road, having been best buddies up until a few weeks ago....I've no idea what's at the root of it and don't intend to ask.  One has mentioned the rift to me, I merely suggested they needed to talk it over with the other, and then quickly exited the conversation.  One set of neighbours, who are very nice by the way, are conspiracy theorists in a big way, with some (to me) pretty outlandish views.  Everyone's entitled to their opinion, of course, I don't share their views and simply don't engage with any discussion about some of the more eyebrow-raising of their opinions - which incidentally they are always trying to bring into any conversation.

Husband though loves nothing more than a good gossip and, because he has no filter nowadays, will happily blurt out anything at all without thought of the consequences.  He's also recently been getting in the middle of the two sets of warring neighbours disputes, much to my frustration, I'd far rather he didn't.  Over the past few months I've come to the conclusion there's nothing I can do but let him get on with it - I've suggested, a few times, that it would be best not to get involved but he takes no notice of me (about anything, actually).  So if he ends up getting himself into hot water, well that's his own fault unfortunately.  No doubt I'll have to smooth things over again in due course.

I'm not feeling 100% today, didn't feel very well when I got up so I just got showered, dressed, then sat in my bedroom armchair reading for a couple of hours, after putting some washing in the machine.  When I felt a bit better I put the washing out, then prepped some veggies for dinner later, then went in the front garden and did some weeding and deadheading.  I asked husband to do a couple of small jobs outside, which he's done (or half done, typically).

His dental appointment went ok, a bit of tooth had broken off an already broken one, and part of the filling came out, so his dentist just did a little bit of repair work and all was fine.  Aldi had everything I wanted, for a change - I did notice quite a few price rises again.  Things never seem to go down, do they?

Lovely sunny day today, with a breeze to dry the washing (bedding).  Warm sunny day forecast tomorrow too, which is good as we're going out for our lunch at the nice tea room on Exmoor and would like to sit in their pretty garden.  Showers, mixed weather and cooler temperatures forecast from Saturday, just in time for the bank hol and school half term!

An alpine bed, and days out

 Betty's lawn.....I'm thinking I might make it into an alpine bed, with rocks (there are plenty scattered around the garden) and gravel (ditto).  I'd like more flowers but don't want a conventional flowerbed - nothing too tall as it'll obstruct the view from the kitchen window of the flowerbed behind, so low growing alpines would seem to fit the bill.  I also like the idea of having a bare soil border all around the edge to grow more salad crops - little gem lettuces, radishes, spring onions.  Husband is supportive of the idea.  I don't really want to convert it back to the gravel bed it was before - there's too much gravel here as it is.....low maintenance certainly, but so boring!  Hence why we're gradually changing some of the beds.

There's been steady rain since I got up at 6.30 this morning, it's tailing off now.  The garden has been drinking it up and already looks more green and lush, so no watering needed for a couple of days.  Our water butt will be full now, I expect.  

We're off out shortly for husband's dental appointment, he'll be dropping me off at Aldi so I can get my usual frothy coffees, oat milk and a small top up shop.  

It's our 42nd wedding anniversary next week, so this week and next we're having a few trips out.  Yesterday we went to a garden centre we've not been to before, a half hour drive away.  It was nice, I didn't buy anything but we had a really nice coffee in their cafe next to a babbling brook.  On Friday we're going out to lunch, treating it as our anniversary meal - although the actual date is next week, it's bank holiday and school half term week so everywhere will be busy.  We'll still have a couple of days out, but will choose places that aren't generally tourist traps.  Husband, predictably, suggested either Brewers Fayre or Wetherspoons for lunch - he's got no imagination, that man, and I don't particularly like either of them.  Not that there's anything wrong with them as such - the food is plentiful (too much of it actually, I never manage to finish a meal in there) and is cheap - as much as any meal out can be called cheap nowadays.....the cheapness is why husband likes them!  I suppose my main gripe is that they're 'anything with chips' type of places, and I don't always want chips with everything....their veggie choices aren't very exciting either.  So instead we're going to a lovely tearoom on Exmoor, we've been there a couple of times for coffee and cake and I noticed the last time we went that their lunch menu is excitingly different - e.g. Ploughmans with cheese, ham, pork pie and quiche - all of that together, not just a choice of one, and good homemade granary bread too.  They also do a speciality quiche or tart of the day, like Mediterranean roast veg.  Another lunch choice is cheesy crumpets - yum!  All of the above come with a really interesting side salad (not just the usual limp lettuce leaf with a couple of slices of tasteless cucumber and tomato), homemade coleslaw and root vegetable crisps.  All much more interesting than a questionable veggie burger and chips!

More health problems, and changes in the garden

 Thank you all so much for the comments and emails, I really appreciate your support.

There are more health worries with husband now.  He seems to be breaking or losing (as in having them out at the dentist) teeth fairly often now, he's just broken another one today....although isn't actually sure whether it was a bit of broken tooth or part of a filling that fell out whilst he was eating.  Fortunately, he's been able to get an emergency dental appointment for tomorrow.  He'll be toothless pretty soon at this rate.

He's also got another problem, which I am pretty sure is heart-failure related.  I don't think it's desperately urgent at this stage, he has a routine GP appointment in a couple of weeks, I'm sure it can wait until then.  Just something else to add to the list.

We're rethinking Betty's small lawn - we had it turfed last year you may remember, it's only small - just 6 feet square, it was previously a plain gravel bed.  As she likes lying on the grass when it's sunny, and there was no grass at all in the back garden, we thought she'd appreciate a small lawn all of her own.  Well, she's never laid on it (contrary moo!!), she prefers to lie on the concrete or paved paths.  She only wees on the grass, several times a day, and obviously the nitrogen concentration in her wee burns the grass.  We do (or rather, did) water the area with a watering can when we saw her doing it, but we don't always see her, I can't watch her 24 hours a day.  Consequently, there are very unsightly dead brown patches all over the lawn and, being such a small area, it's very noticeable.  I did think about a chamomile lawn, I love the look and smell of them....however, I asked in the garden centre if dog wee will cause brown patches on that too and they said very likely.  So that looks like a non-starter.  We might therefore have to go back to gravel - we have plenty of it still, having got rid of some of the gravel beds in favour of flower beds instead.  I quickly discounted bark, as the birds rake about in it and scatter it everywhere.  I guess we could dig up the grass and turn the area into another flower - or even vegetable - bed.  We'll give it some more thought.  Betty wees on the gravel too, so it's not like we'll be depriving her of a toilet area.  Funnily enough, she's never poo'ed on the grass, it's always on the gravel.

I asked our Housing Association whether we need their permission to get rid of the yucky Yucca tree in the garden and replace it with a native British smallish tree - they said no, go ahead.  I don't like Yuccas anyway, this one is leaning over, several branches are dead (no we didn't kill them! 😂) and it showers our patio table and chairs with the long sharp spiky leaves and seeds which are always dropping off.  It also provides no shade at all, in a part of the garden which gets the full blazing sun in the afternoons so could do with some shade.  So that's another job for this summer.  Our garden continues to evolve and I'm really enjoying it.

A long one

 I've thought long and hard about writing this post, before deciding I will.

First things first - anonymous comments (of which I had several on my last post).  I know Blogger is a bit of a law unto itself and doesn't make it easy to make comments sometimes, and I'm aware that people without a Blogger account can't comment....sorry about that, it's out of my hands.  However, people who deliberately comment as Anonymous and refuse to put a name to their comment (generally because they want to say something rude or sarcastic or issue unwanted 'advice') will not have their comments published.  If you're too cowardly to say your name on your rude comment, you're not getting published here.  Simple as that.  I also reserve the right to choose whether to publish or not any comments, whether they be named or not - it is my prerogative on my own blog, after all.

I know I complain a lot - I'm just venting, getting things off my chest!  I'll say that again, so there can be no misunderstandings - I'M JUST VENTING!

It's my way of coping, always has been, I've done it my entire adult life.  If I want advice, I'll ask for it....generally I don't want it - despite appearances to the contrary, I do actually cope pretty well.  That's not to say that things are easy or that our daily lives don't throw up problems literally every day - it's not easy and there are daily problems, that's the reality of life with husband's health issues.  His heart failure and cognitive impairment aren't going to get better - they will get worse.  They are getting worse.

I've been in a caring role one way or another since the age of 13.....my dad buggered off with another woman 6 days after my 13th birthday, leaving my mother jobless, with no income and having 4 children, including a baby, to look after.  She never was strong emotionally and promptly went to pieces for a year, put on strong antidepressants and sleeping pills which rendered her zombie-like.  As the eldest child, it fell to me to take on the 'mother' role.  A few years later, one of my siblings developed epilepsy (after falling down the stairs and crashing into a wall head first) and had regular grand mal fits, and then went on to have severe mental problems.  My mother couldn't cope with this (I was at work by then) and I had frequent panicked phone calls at my work asking for me to go home and help out, which I obviously did.  However, I was then hauled in front of HR and given a stern verbal warning that if I continued to do this, I would be dismissed.  So being a carer has been, if not my main then certainly my secondary job, nearly all of my life.  It's certainly my main job now. 

And so I'm used to it, I'm used to problem solving, organising our daily lives and everything to do with husband's health issues, planning everything - nothing gets done in our house and garden or with our daily lives without me planning or doing it.  But yes I do get frustrated, tired out physically and emotionally, overwhelmed, angry even.  Yes, angry at times - this is not the life I would have chosen for myself - nor would husband, I know that, and his health issues are not his fault, I DO KNOW THAT AND DON'T NEED REMINDING OF IT!  

Just because anyone can read what I write here, it doesn't mean that people have free rein to dole out unasked for and unwanted advice, usually in a very passive-aggressive manner (actually more aggressive than passive).  I know people mean well - well, most of them do - but the fact is that people say what THEY think or would do in a given situation, it's not necessarily what I would do.  And if it's done anonymously and aggressively or rudely, then it's not welcome and will immediately be consigned to the bin.

In future, if I choose to vent my feelings on my blog (as is my choice), then I will turn the comment facility off temporarily.  One of the other blogs I follow, Hard up Hester, had a couple of anonymous comments on her post yesterday, one of them very long, detailed and incredibly rude, by someone who claimed to be not mean or judgemental - both of which they were!  How utterly presumptuous of them to think they had the right to TELL her what to do.  I suspect Hester is like me, copes in her own way and knows what she's doing.

I'll finish by saying how extremely grateful I am for all the lovely, caring, kind and supportive readers of my blog - you know who you are!  I never expected to have so many followers of my insignificant ramblings - I'm not an 'influencer' (I'm about 40 years too old for that!), I don't and never will monetise my blog, I just talk about my life.  And get things off my chest!!

Swarm

 Bit of excitement yesterday afternoon - a swarm of bees appeared on our roof, they didn't stay there long but soon moved off and swarmed in and around a tree in the front garden of one of the private houses around the corner from us.  Husband was all for doing something about them (what, I wonder, did he think he/we should do?), so I googled it.  Apparently, if they're honeybees, which they looked to be, you should just leave them alone, they won't be aggressive (unless you prod them with a stick!), they're merely looking for a new home.  If they were in a position where they could cause a problem - in a school playground, e.g. - then it was suggested to contact a local beekeeper who would probably come and collect them, or at least offer advice.  They soon seemed to settle down in the tree, which is a very bushy one.  I don't know if they're still there.

I got my water filter jug yesterday, it reminded me that we used to have one years ago, no idea what happened to it.  I'm pleased to say the tap water, filtered through it, tastes so much better, and the jug fits nicely in the fridge door.  So no more plastic bottle waste.

I put washing on the line mid-morning yesterday.....husband decided barely an hour later to bring it all in, as he reckoned it was going to rain (it didn't, although we did have a few clouds go past, and 5 minutes after he brought it in it was bright sunshine again).  The washing wasn't quite dry, meaning I had to put it on an airer and in the airing cupboard - if I'd hung it back outside he would have been fussing about it being sure to rain.  I know he thinks he's helping - but he's not!  He doesn't ask me first, but steams ahead and does stuff without bothering to ask me.  It's so bloody frustrating, he just makes extra work for me. 

Having gone back to our normal veg and salad heavy diet for the past couple of days, my guts are back to normal now.

Drinking more water

 It's not very warm so far today, actually I think it's one of those days where it's probably warmer outside than it is inside.  It's not an outside day though, it's cloudy with intermittent showers - which is good as the garden needs it.

I've got a right old stomach upset this morning, just as well we don't need to go out as I need to be near the loo (sorry, TMI lol).  I'm not ill, I think it's just a case of eating things we don't normally eat over the weekend, our visitors don't have the same kind of diet as we do and as I didn't want to have to cook or provide different meals to cater for everybody, I pretty much plumped for things that they eat.  I'm not eating much today, to allow my guts to settle down (drinking lots of water with fresh lemon slices in it), but a couple of days of our normal veg-heavy diet with fish should get me back to normal.  Husband has said he wants to eat more fish and less meat - he'll never give up meat entirely, he just wants to eat less of it, which is good.  My gallstones (I have multiple small ones, had them for years) have been making their presence felt the last couple of days, painful twinges on my right side.  I've not had an ultrasound scan for a number of years, I think I might have to go back to the GP and ask for another one, to see if the gallstones have grown.  Actually, in view of the fact that I have 2 minor liver conditions (neither of which is serious or needs meds), I'm supposed to have liver scans twice a year - that went out of the window during Covid and I've never had one since!

On the subject of water, that's my normal daily drink, other than a couple of frothy coffees.  However, our tap water here, as I've mentioned before, tastes like mud, it's revolting, so I buy bottled water.  I haven't been happy about that for a while, as I really don't feel comfortable with all that plastic in the recycling.  I do give the odd empty bottle to Betty to play with, she loves the crackly sound they make when she grabs hold of them.....however, that's not a good enough reason to continue buying so many plastic bottles!  So I've just ordered a water filter jug with cartridges, which apparently are recyclable, it fits in the fridge door and allegedly makes tap water taste better.  I'll be picking it up tomorrow, so we'll see.

When husband came back from the gym this morning, he brought me a bunch of flowers - mixed lemon coloured ones, roses, spray carnations and alstroemeria, he said they were to say thank you for looking after his daughter and SiL.  That was really nice of him, he can still surprise me on the odd occasion.

Resting after

 We've had a nice few days with husband's daughter and SiL, lots of catch up chatting (we've not seen them for getting on for 2 years), and trips out doing the touristy things.  Now they've gone, I'm having a couple of days off, so to speak - whilst it's lovely to have family visiting, it does mean quite a lot of work and general 'busyness'.  At least I haven't got beds to change and loads of extra washing, since they stayed in the hotel down the road, they just had all their meals with us.  Husband and I generally have a (relatively) quiet and simple life, other than the daily dramas and complications that occur with him, so having to plan and cook extra meals and what we're going to do every day all falls on my shoulders and does take it out of me a bit.

Betty loved having them here and was very excited and happy, she's been sleeping like a log since they left, all the extra excitement has obviously worn her out (bit like me!).

There was a sticky moment when husband once again upset his daughter by blurting out something without thinking, as he's prone to doing now.  Ironically it was almost the same thing as he said on the phone to her a couple of months ago, which really upset her then (he doesn't learn - well, he just doesn't remember).  I did explain to her back then that he doesn't mean to upset people, he's just got no filter nowadays and can't control what comes out of his mouth.  This time her face froze initially then she did pull him up on it, so he quickly apologised.  I've learnt to live with his lack of tact now, if I got upset every time he said something out of line I'd forever be bawling.

My sister has said she's considering coming down again soon, I'm so glad she's thinking more about her own self-care now, she has a lot of caring responsibilities at home and all while she has her own MS to cope with.

Thank you for the comments on my last post, I'm glad some people understand.

Is it too much to ask?

 I've just made a quiche for lunch today, we'll have some of it with salad.  Washing is out on the line, another good drying day - sunny but with a stiff breeze, making it feel a bit cool when the gusts come.  Husband has been to the gym, Tuesday is not a usual day for him but it made up for him not going yesterday.  He won't be able to go Friday as his daughter and SiL will be arriving that morning, so he'll go again on Thursday instead.  We're taking Betty out for a good long walk this afternoon, she needs to burn off some excess energy, her 2 or 3 short daily walks aren't enough really.  We'll take her long retractable lead so she can run about more - we don't ever let her off the lead unless it's in an enclosed space or an area where there are no other dogs, she's not very sociable with other dogs, she's very much a loner and doesn't want to play.  She also hates other dogs sticking their noses up her backside, as they do, it being a normal greeting/information gathering thing.  I can't say as I blame her!

John of Going Gently blog yesterday posted about something called the Karpman Drama Triangle, a psychology thing I've not heard of before, it prompted a lot of comments from others, and more from John replying to some of them.  One of the things he said resonated with me:  "Giving unsolicited advice is potentially rude and disrespectful".  Yes, that's just how I view it.  I often find myself being on the receiving end of unsolicited, unasked for and unwanted advice - not just on my blog, but in real life too, I'm aware I've even done it myself on occasion - given advice when it wasn't asked for, I mean.  I know that by sharing so much on my blog, I do open myself up to lots of comments, be they helpful or not.  And I do know that most people are simply trying to help.  But unless we are in someone else's shoes or have lived through exactly the same situation (and even then the details may differ), we can't possibly know what's best for them, or even understand fully.  

I have a friend of many years who has always given me unsolicited advice - now I must say that this friend has been extremely helpful to me on many occasions, for which I am grateful.  However, they do have a tendency to dispense advice whether I've asked for it or not - and their advice isn't always relevant to my exact situation.  If I say anything like that though, or point out I wasn't asking for advice, they get all snippy and cold towards me.  What's worse though is that they seem to have taken on the role of my moral compass, always pointing out the other side of a situation, which they seem to believe I haven't taken account of.  All that does though is make me feel that they never see my side of anything, I feel unsupported and unheard.  If I try to tell them this, once again they just get annoyed and claim they're just trying to help.  But it's not the kind of help that's 'helpful', if you know what I mean.  More than anything, I just want - no, need - to be listened to.  Is that too much to ask?

I didn't finish the Lucinda Riley book yesterday, I probably will tonight (if I don't fall asleep before the end).  Having quite enjoyed it so far, I think I'll most likely start on her Seven Sisters series - I do like a series of books, it's nice to have familiar characters and a series helps to flesh out the lives and back story of the characters.

A quiet day before the 'busyness' of the rest of the week

 I keep thinking it's Sunday today.  Apparently husband must have as well - he didn't go to the gym this morning, he says he forgot, although early this morning he had said he was going (the reality is he was engrossed in the TV as usual, some American comedy show which he watches most mornings that bores the pants off me).  

I've just made a cauliflower, carrot and coconut curry, I had half a cauli and loads of carrots that needed using up.  It's not a hot curry (as I don't like them too hot), more of a fragrant one, with cumin and ginger and half a tin of coconut milk, with tinned chopped tomatoes and red onion.  No recipe followed, I've just made it up as I've gone along.  We'll have it with brown rice tonight, there'll be enough to freeze for another meal.  The other half tin of coconut milk will go in a pineapple and coconut cake.  The trouble with cooking curry is that it stinks the house out for a day or 2 afterwards.

I've been out in the garden already, pulling up loads more shoots of bindweed - bloody stuff, just can't get rid of it and if I don't keep on top of the shoots as they emerge they quickly wind themselves around and stifle the plants in my flowerbeds.

Nothing much to do today, it's not really sitting out in the garden weather - although it's sunny, it's not particularly warm sunshine and there's a stiff cool breeze blowing.  I shall be quite busy for the rest of the week so will probably just sit and read this afternoon.  My sister left a couple of books here when she left - sis and I have completely different tastes in reading matter, I like thrillers, murder mysteries (serial killer stuff, Val McDermid and James Patterson being 2 of my favourite authors) and true crime, whereas sis reads gentle romantic fiction.  Out of curiosity more than anything, I picked up one of her Lucinda Riley books, Hothouse Flower, and started reading it last week....I'm surprised to say I've got into it, it's quite an interesting story.  I'll probably finish it this afternoon.  I've not read anything else by her, nor anything in the same vein actually.

VE day, 80 years since the war in Europe ended - I guess this is the last big anniversary celebration of that sort to be held - there can't be many veterans from WWII left alive.  My Granddad and husband's father both served in WWII - neither of them ever spoke about their experiences and they both died several years ago, we have nobody left in either of our families who was alive during wartime.

Aggro yesterday but a nice day today

 We had a nice few hours out in Minehead this morning, being tourists if you like.  There was a VE day celebration going on in Blenheim Gardens, the big park just off the town centre that a lot of the Butlins tourists don't even know is there, and probably isn't their cup of tea even if they do, it's more for locals and families.  It's a lovely park actually, lots of really nice well maintained flower beds and loads of trees, plenty of benches for sitting, more than I've ever seen anywhere else.  There's a cafe, toilets and sports facilities, and a bandstand.  Which is where the VE events were going on.....a lady dressed in 40s forces uniform singing wartime songs (she had a beautiful voice), a display of old army jeeps with their owners also in wartime uniforms, a few stalls selling stuff.  It was a lovely happy atmosphere.

We had a wander round the gardens, then moved on to the train station where they're having a Spring Steam Spectacular - several visiting steam engines hauling carriages all day....well, all weekend actually.  All the carriages we saw were full, they were obviously having a profitable weekend, aided by the good weather and it being the Spring bank holiday.  There were loads of elderly men with cameras - not just phones but big cameras with all sorts of lenses and attachments and tripods, real geeks sorry steam train enthusiasts.  I must admit, I do like the sound of the steam trains chuff-chuffing along and blowing their whistles - that, and the sound of the village church bells, both of which we can hear from our bungalow, is a lovely sound at the weekends.  Proper old-fashioned country sounds.  We have been on the steam train a couple of times, it's a really pretty journey through the countryside to Bishops Lydeard - I will say though that because the carriages are old original stock from years ago, they are supremely uncomfortable!  Never mind, it's a pleasant experience nonetheless, shame it's just so expensive.

We stopped off at the supermarket prior to coming home and bought a mixed box of Magnum lollies as a treat - oh yum, it's been probably a couple of years since we had one and I'd almost forgotten how delicious they are.  Just as an occasional treat though - well every 2 years is certainly occasional! 😂

I trimmed all of the ivy hedge and weeded the flower beds yesterday, damn near killed me, although it was cooler than the previous few days it was still very warm.  I'm not complaining, it's been a lovely week, and even this coming week is going to be good - not as hot with sunny intervals rather than wall to wall sunshine, which suits me fine.  Cooler overnight, so we'll be protecting our veggies with fleece.

Husband has been hacking bits off the apple tree again, without saying a word to me - I caught him in the act.  He also stuck a bit of it in the back garden soil....just to see if it'll grow roots, he says.  Why I don't know, I neither want nor need another cooking apple tree, we've got no space to grow another one!  What part of 'Leave the apple tree ALONE!' he doesn't understand, is beyond me.  Honestly, that man really is a law unto himself.

And yesterday he was watching TV (with the remote control in his hand, as usual) whilst I was in the kitchen getting dinner ready.  Suddenly the TV volume was turned up deafeningly loud - and I do mean loud, it was ear-splitting, the volume thingy on the TV screen said 90 when I dashed in there, we normally have it on 13 or 14.  I assumed he'd dozed off, but no he was actually watching the TV (unless he now falls asleep with his eyes wide open and sitting upright).  "What on earth are you DOING?!" I shouted - I had to shout to be heard above the deafening noise.  He quickly said oh sorry, I didn't realise (how could he not?!), apparently he accidentally had his thumb on the volume control.  I despair sometimes, I really do.

Lovely week for outside eating

 J, yes I trained as a secretary in the mid-70s, doing a 2-year intensive secretarial course.  Our initial training was on manual typewriters but quickly moved on to electric ones.  In the mid-80s, in my 3rd or 4th secretarial job, we had word processors, the forerunner of computers.  I've always been a fast touch typist.  My last 2 secretarial jobs were as secretary to a mortgage advisor for a big building society, and then finally for several years PA to a chartered building surveyor, a lovely man who was the best boss I'd ever had, I loved that job and was very sad to be made redundant when the firm was taken over by a bigger one.

Hot day yesterday, too hot for Betty and I to be out in it.  However, by early evening it had cooled down, I made a big main course salad, packed it into 2 plastic boxes in our picnic cool bag and went to the seafront to eat it (parking there is free after 6 pm).  We took Betty with us along with a couple of treats (and water of course) for her.....she's not allowed on the main beach from now until the end of September - although dogs are allowed at the harbour end, we were at the other end - but we had a walk along the prom with her.  It was so nice, the tide was starting to come in, I'd say it was about midway.  Lots of families still on the beach, some even in the sea.  It's been a lovely week for eating food out - whether lunch in our garden or a picnic by the sea.

It's forecast to be about 6 or 7 degrees cooler today, which I'm pleased about as I need to do some work in the garden.  The ivy hedge along the back of my flower bed is growing rapidly again and needs cutting back before it swamps the flower bed.  Although husband has got an electric hedge trimmer, I prefer to do it by hand with small secateurs - the hedge trimmer flings the cuttings everywhere, meaning lots of bending down and clearing up, it's easier I think to do it by hand and put all the cuttings into my garden trug thing.  Might take a bit longer but is far less messy!

Husband's daughter and son in law are coming down next Friday for the weekend, so I need to do some preparation for that - meals etc and things to do, husband is clueless about that sort of thing.  I think I mentioned they're staying in the Premier Inn a couple of miles away, but eating all their meals with us - we're going out for dinner on the Friday evening so that's one meal I won't have to cook.

User error - mine this time

 Thank you for all the lovely comments you've sent recently, I read and appreciate them all.

The other day I was searching for a particular recipe online, using my phone.  I found it and saved it to my recipe page....well, that's what I thought I was doing - however, I mistakenly downloaded and installed it as an app on my home screen.  I didn't particularly want it there so tried to delete it - somehow I inadvertently ended up deleting a few other apps I use on a daily basis - Blogger, FB and the Met Office local weather page, to name a few.  I've had the devil of a job the past few days trying to get them all reinstalled on my phone - I've managed it, but some of the apps are somewhat different to how they were previously, which is even more confusing, and now I can't seem to open any links or googled websites 😒.  Honestly, I bloody hate technology 😠.  Or rather, I hate the fact that I don't really know what I'm doing with techie stuff, my brain freezes and converts all instructions to Chinese, or some obscure dialect.  Sigh.  I have to laugh or else I'd cry 😂😭

Sue in Suffolk mentioned on her blog yesterday about pensions etc increases not showing up until next month - which is quite right, we won't get husband's State pension, his AA and my CA increases until May.  Meanwhile, in common with everyone else I expect, pretty much all of our household bills went up from the 1st April.  As for the rising costs of food - every blimmin week some things have risen, and not just by 5 or 10p either.  This year so far, we've had several unexpected expenses - 2 extra vet bills, replacement of 2 kitchen appliances that broke down, new glasses to replace mine that got broken and the discovery that not only had the opticians stopped stocking that particular frame, but I had to have another eye test due to a small sight problem, which showed I needed new glasses for both distance and reading.  So 2 new pairs of glasses needed (I can't cope with varifocals) and my next scheduled test wasn't due for another 6 months.  We also got new electric toothbrushes (they're not cheap!) and of course the kitchen blind - although that was budgeted for.  And the parking fine!  A few other necessary expenses as well, it does seem to have been a very spendy start to the year.  We are saving money due to not having the caravan expenses anymore, but most of that saving is already being swallowed up by all the increases etc.  I know we're fortunate enough not to need foodbanks, we can afford all our bills and run the car, but things aren't easy financially now and I do have to keep a tight rein on our spending.  It would be nice not to have to worry about it.  

I read in the paper the other day that the daughter of the F1 racing bloke Bernie Ecclestone had a burglary at their house (it was some time ago apparently), the thieves stole £25 million pounds worth of jewellery and watches.  And it turned out they weren't insured for them, due to an oversight when taking out the policy.  The papers showed photos of some of the stolen jewellery and watches - literally dozens and dozens of bracelets etc of hers and a tray of 30 or so watches belonging to her husband.  I know the couple have seemingly limitless money and thus spend it on all this stuff....but why?  When you think about it, why does the husband need so many watches, he can only wear one at a time!  And how many people even wear a watch nowadays, when we can just check the time on our phones?  But it seems they can just write the loss off.  I'm not saying that a burglary (particularly when the burglars caused so much damage) isn't upsetting - of course it is, we were burgled when I was a youngster and I clearly remember how distressed my Mum was, not so much at what was stolen, but the very thought that malevolent strangers had been in our house, rifled through everything and made a right mess.  But if one can just shrug off such a massive (unthinkable amount to the rest of us) financial loss, there's something not right in this world.  *Steps off soapbox*.

Yesterday we took a picnic and went to the harbour, it was quite busy but just so lovely sitting in the sunshine watching the boats and seeing everybody else enjoying the weather:-