Taking my own advice

 Having my sister here was lovely, other than a few ups and downs, but I am now exhausted.

One of the things that wasn't so good was the fact that sis and I had no opportunity for time alone together so we could properly talk - husband didn't go to the gym at all as I said yesterday, and his 2x daily dog walks only take 10 minutes.  Other than that, husband was always here, and when visitors are here he does dominate the conversation, he talks (and butts in) constantly.  I have tried, often, gently telling him that it would be nice for me to be able to talk to people too, and on my own sometimes, but he gets all irate and argumentative about it and says ridiculous things like "you don't love me anymore" and "huh I'm not even allowed to talk anymore".  Sis and I had our 2 hours at the theatre, and 15 mins beforehand, but that was taken up with changing seats and obviously we couldn't talk during the performance.

He's decided he's not going to the gym this morning either, blaming it on his foot and back twinges.  I think he's simply looking for excuses not to go and is getting back into his 'not wanting to do anything' rut.  Before anyone suggests it - no, he's not depressed, I know him and he just gets like this sometimes.

Meanwhile, I need time on my own, my mental health is suffering.  So as the weather is now getting a lot better (warm sunshine forecast for the whole of this week), I'm going to start going for walks by myself.  I can't walk very far, my hips and knees prevent that, but a slow walk around the village in the warm sun will be lovely.  I'd like to go and have a look around the church cemetery, which is about half a mile away and across the main road, I find churchyards very interesting (as well as peaceful!).

I told my sister, who has a lot to contend with, being her husband's carer and having other family members to look out for, as well as her own poor health, that she needs to take care of herself, physically and mentally, take time out for herself and ensure that she's as healthy, given her circumstances, as she can be.  I think I need to take my own advice.

I've also pointed out to husband that he needs to get back into going to the gym regularly - not only for the sake of his health, but also because he's paying monthly for it and it's a complete waste of his money if he doesn't go!

And.... relax

 We've had a good week, other than the health related issues.  The weather was fairly good, no rain, quite a bit of generally weak sunshine, although still a cold wind at times.  I was looking forward to having sister chat time during the week when husband went off to the gym, sadly that didn't happen.  Husband usually goes 3x a week, but didn't go at all whilst sister was here - at the beginning of the week he had foot trouble and said he had backache (join the club!!), but after that I think he just didn't want to go.  We don't have loads of visitors and when we do have people visiting, he likes to talk a lot!

The opera (HMS Pinafore) at the local theatre was....interesting.  It was our first time in that theatre so we didn't really know what to expect.  Sister had booked the seats, 2 aisle seats in the 2nd row from the front - which was all very well but we had dozens of steep steps to go down in order to get to our seats, with no handrail and in fairly dim light, people with limited mobility are clearly only catered for in the very top seats.  I can just about manage stairs, but it was a struggle for sis, even with her cane and hanging onto my arm.  And then the seats themselves were kind of small and crammed in, with hardly any legroom - sis is tall, several inches taller than me and simply could not get her legs in, so she asked an usherette if we could change to the front row seats (we knew the showing wasn't full and there were plenty of empty seats) - the very helpful usherette said that was no problem at all.  It was a very AmDram production, with a limited amount of clearly homemade props (and the performers' costumes), but somehow it didn't really matter, it all added to the comedy!  Especially the wonky bit of flimsy wooden railing (it was meant to be on a ship's deck) that wobbled every time one of the actors rested a hand on it.  Nearly all of the performers were ancient (they wouldn't have been out of place living here in our sheltered housing community!), only 3 young women and no young men....in fact some of the older ones looked as if they won't be doing it for much longer, so they need to try and get some new, younger blood in.  And even sis said that she and I were pretty much the youngest audience members.  Still, it was good fun and we enjoyed our night out.

Yesterday I packed a picnic and we went for a drive on Exmoor, then down to Porlock Weir to eat our lunch, it was very busy there as it was probably the warmest day of the week, it was a nice last day for sis, we saw her safely onto the coach for her journey home this morning.

Husband's and sister's poor health and mobility issues have been very much in evidence this week - despite my health issues it's been noticeable that I'm practically as fit as a flea by comparison.  Fancy that.  I am extremely tired today, it's been a busy week, we've been out every day - I'd cooked and frozen nearly all the dinners, plus some snacks and cakes, but obviously I still had the breakfasts and lunches to organise.....we did eat tea & cake out a few times.  And it's me who does all the planning for what to do/where to go every day, once I'd asked sis what she wanted to do.  Husband and I don't really go out much but sis always wants to go out and about, she loves both shopping and the seaside and wants to do all the touristy things.  Going out a lot, being busy, a limited amount of housework, doing all the planning and catering (plus all the chatting!) does wear me out, I'll need a couple of days to recover.  Luckily, we've got a quiet week, although husband's got another round of hospital and clinic appointments starting next week.  I've got beds to change and quite a lot of washing and housework to do, but there's no rush.  I'll take my time and do a couple of jobs each day.

Sister bought me this picture in a Dunster gallery, isn't it lovely?  It's just the kind of - naive art style I think it's called - painting that I like.....I happened to say how much I liked it and she sneaked back and bought it for me, as a thank you.  Bless her, so kind of her:-

Right, I'm going to collapse in my recliner chair now for the rest of the day, husband can have something out of the freezer for dinner and I'll have cheese on toast I think, I'm too tired for cooking.

Ups and downs

 We've been having a nice time, albeit with a few ups and downs.  Sister's had a few health problems, and we had to go to Taunton for an emergency hospital appointment for husband, which turned out not to be an emergency.  He was referred by an over-zealous inexperienced GP registrar who was clearly erring on the side of caution.  When we arrived at the Taunton clinic, we were seen by a big chief, who took about a minute to decide that husband's problem wasn't an emergency at all, but just a routine problem (it was a foot/diabetic thing).  He stalked out muttering under his breath, clearly not amused, leaving a minion to explain.  So that was half a day wasted, for him and for us 🙄.

Sis and I are going to the theatre tonight, we're looking forward to that.

Bugger it

 The day hasn't started off well - it's one of those 'whatever could go wrong, will go wrong' days.  Suffice it to say that our (my) plans for tomorrow have had to be cancelled, even down to the roast dinner I'd planned.  I've already been in tears.  And yes I am feeling sorry for myself.

My sister is on the coach and on her way here, I'm trying to just cling to that.

Doing me in

 When I said yesterday that husband would be the death of me, I wasn't just talking about his propensity for so-called jokes that I don't really find funny - and it's not just husband, I know at least 2 more men who also seem to think that their jokes are hilariously funny and will make a joke out of anything, even when it's not appropriate.  My personal view is that when I'm stressed or worrying about something, I don't want someone cracking jokes and making light of it.

Anyway, there are other ways he could end up doing me in....

He is very clumsy and accident-prone, he drops things or falls against something, knocking it over, nearly every day - several times in a day if he's having a particularly clumsy period.  Things regularly get broken by husband dropping or knocking them over, usually with a loud crash, making both Betty and I jump out of our skin.

As I've mentioned several times, he has balance issues.....caused by his inefficient heart not pumping sufficient oxygenated blood around his body, especially to his extremities, and his low blood pressure.  His BP has always been on the low side of normal anyway, that was entirely normal for him and not a concern prior to the heart problems.  However, his heart meds lower his BP even further, which his GP and cardiologist are aware of and have adjusted his meds several times in an effort to raise it a bit, with some success, the cardiologist said it's probably as good as it can be now.  So he often stumbles (he's been told numerous times to take a few seconds to wiggle his feet and legs before he gets up out of a chair or off the bed) - he's fallen on top of me a few times when I've been sitting down (he's no lightweight!), and fallen against me knocking me into a wall or furniture or shelves in shops several times too.  And because of his lifelong clumsiness, he could trip over a leaf anyway, he doesn't need a banana skin!

The above is said somewhat tongue in cheek, I don't think husband is out to kill me.  But it's a true account of our daily lives and probably one of the reasons why my hair is falling out! 😔

Thought he'd chopped off a finger

 I think I've done the last of the cooking/baking prep now - yesterday I made sausage rolls, stuffing balls and chocolate brownies, all now frozen.  When I was trying to make room in the freezer, I discovered a tub of pre-made cauli cheese, so that's one thing I didn't have to make.  All I need to do now is make a salmon quiche on Monday morning, which we'll be having with new potatoes and salad for dinner in the evening - with sister travelling most of the day she won't want a big or heavy meal when she arrives.

I'd made up a bowl of lemon & herb flavoured couscous (a packet mix) to have for lunch yesterday, it needed crumbled feta, beetroot and salad veg added to it.  I asked husband to do it, an easy job for him.  I went to the loo and came back to him in the kitchen with quite a lot of what I thought was blood splashed all over the kitchen floor.  He said "I've cut myself" - I should add that because of the blood thinners he's on, he does bleed a lot with even small cuts.  "Where?  Show me"  I immediately said, worrying he was missing a finger or something.  Husband then smirked and admitted he hadn't and it wasn't blood - it was beetroot juice, he'd cut the packet of beets open and splashed the juice liberally all over the floor....accidentally, or should I say carelessly, it wasn't on purpose.  I didn't find it funny though, honestly he'll be the death of me one of these days.

The weather looks reasonable for next week, not quite as warm and sunny as this past week, but with a high, sunny spells and not much wind, it sounds pretty good.  I'm doing a deep clean of the bathroom today and finishing off my shopping list, then nothing much else needs doing.

Not that one!

 Thank you for all the suggestions for the windows, I'll take them all on board.  I've decided that as we have quite a lot on for the next few weeks, I'm going to put the windows out of my mind for the time being, we'll just manage with the nets for a while.  

Busy day yesterday, I made the fish pie and scones and they're now in the freezer ready for next week.  Did a few jobs in the garden - not as much as I'd have liked, although it was sunny there was quite a strong wind, which made it feel a bit colder, it was strong enough to blow away some of the prunings and weeds I'd pulled up, meaning I had to chase them round the garden.  I'd asked husband to dig up and move one of the roses, which was too close to a large shrub, I told him which one it was and where I wanted it to go.  I got out in the garden just in time to find him starting to dig up the wrong rose!  One that wasn't half buried under the shrub and was perfectly fine where it was.....honestly, as I keep saying, I know he can't help things like this, it's the cognitive stuff, but it doesn't half make life awkward at times.  We'd discussed a couple of days ago where to put the pots and support frames for the outdoor tomatoes this year, I suggested a place but husband pointed out it would be too near the whirlygig washing line - he was right, well done him, I hadn't thought of that.  However, he then put the pots in place and started erecting the framework.....in exactly the place where HE'D said was wrong, too close to the whirly thing!  All fixed now, sometimes we just have to laugh (or else we'd cry).

Today I'm making sausage rolls, cauli cheese and stuffing balls for next week.  Showers forecast today so probably no garden work, I'll get on with sprucing the house up ready for sister's arrival on Monday.  I also need to do a shopping list for fresh stuff, we'll go shopping on Sunday.  

Dithering and exploding brain

 I'm making fish pie and scones this morning, both for next week, then it's outside.  Forecast is for sunshine all day and temperature of 20 degrees, so we'll be making the most of that and spending time in the garden doing the last few odd jobs to get things ready for growing.

I've been thinking about the vertical blinds and what the nice man Neil said when he came to measure up.  Some of the things he mentioned have given me a few concerns, so I'm now leaning towards not having them after all.  I may stick with the net curtain for the lounge window, it is a nice one, pretty patterned and thick.  The kitchen window is a different matter, I really don't want a net curtain there, it gets in the way when I want to open a window and gets splashed when washing up is being done (especially when husband does it, he liberally splashes water everywhere).  I'll give it some more thought.

Got so much on my mind lately, it feels like my head is exploding 🤯.  It's bad enough with all the things I need to do and plan, but with extra family stuff going on, and then having to do all husband's thinking as well as he forgets more and more, my poor little brain is working overtime.  Once I've got everything done for sister's arrival, next week should in theory be more relaxed.

Busy week

 Thank you all for the comments, I'm very appreciative of the fact that you're all so supportive.  💜

It's a busy week, I'm getting on with cooking, baking and freezing stuff for when sister is here next week.  I'm making a salmon quiche (homemade pastry and filling using dairy-free stuff), fish pie, toad in the hole, and stuffing and cauli cheese to accompany a roast dinner one day.  I'm also doing sausage rolls and little pasties for lunches, and a pineapple & coconut cake and chocolate brownies to go with coffee.  Not all on the same day, I'm spreading the cooking out during the week.

I got husband to clear and clean the car yesterday, the seats and floor in the back were covered with assorted bits of his mess (he tends to just throw stuff in the back and never clears it out).  The hatchback boot area where Betty sits was smothered in dog hair and smelt very 'doggy', and the front footwells were covered with sand and grit.  It's all cleaned out now, is tidy and clutter free and smells much nicer.  And we can see out of the windows!  😒😂  Husband has never been one for washing the car every weekend, he only does it 2 or 3 times a year.  Considering the way he is now, I'm surprised it hasn't become one of his obsessions.....I wouldn't mind if it became one.

Sister has just informed me that it's only 5 sleeps till she comes (I know!), she's been giving me a countdown every day, she's getting very excited.

Back

 Basically, I just wrote the weekend off, didn't do anything other than prepare and cook meals, the rest of the time I sat in my bedroom and read my book.  The straw that broke the camel's back happened on Saturday, following a shit couple of weeks....due to carelessness (not mine), my washing basket containing the wet washing I'd just taken out of the machine to hang on the line, and the peg basket, got tipped over in the garden, sending the washing and all the pegs cascading over the ground.  I just burst into tears, it finished me off.  Stupid, silly little thing with no real harm done (except to my back, hips and dodgy knee, having to scrabble about on the ground to pick it all up), but it really seemed like a breaking point.  I'm just glad there was nobody around to witness (or hear) me sobbing in the garden, shaking all the washing and hanging it on the whirly thing.  Betty, bless her, stood beside me the whole time, then kept me company in the bedroom all weekend.  Animals know, don't they, and give us unconditional love.

The man from the blinds company arrived this morning - it didn't start off too well as he was 45 mins late, in fact I'd just rung the company to find out where he was when he pulled up outside.  Unlike the last guy (from a local company) who came, this one was really nice, extremely helpful and bent over backwards to accommodate our needs and wishes.  Even so, the quote was considerably higher than I was expecting, but he then suggested a couple of different styles of blinds which had a 20% off sale price, so that made it much better, more affordable.  He didn't press us for an immediate decision either, but said we could think about it, contact him at any time with any queries, and said the quote was guaranteed for 3 months (he gave us that in writing too, which the previous one didn't).  So that's what I'm going to do, wait a month or so to think about it - and save up a bit more.  We will definitely be going with this quote and company, it's just a case of ironing out a few details.

So that's eased our current cash flow problems (caused by a few recent unexpected expenses), and thus eased my mind also.  I know I need to rearrange our budget a bit and start putting more into savings for unexpected things (sinking funds?), I'll get on and do that tomorrow.

Sister got a lovely sympathy card from her vet this morning, it contained a hand written message and a packet of Forget-me-not flower seeds, how nice of them.  When brother's dog had to be put to sleep, they also had a card from their vet, along with an impression of their dog's paw prints, which they didn't know they were getting.  So thoughtful.

We're about to take Betty to the vet for her 2nd ear treatment, the first dose has already been working and this 2nd one should clear up the infection altogether.  Until the next time, of course, but hopefully that'll be several months away.

Last straw

 Sometimes you just have to say "bugger it" and give up altogether - today is one of those days.

Ending a difficult week with some happy things

 The neuralgia is still there, but significantly less painful, so I think it's going - at least I've been able to brush my hair!  I guess it could have been a stress reaction, it's certainly been a difficult week.  It seems husband's daughter is still feeling offended at the thing he said to her on the phone, so it looks like I'll have to have a quiet word with her and explain - again - just what his cognitive impairment means.  She's a bit touchy at the mo, because of things going on in her own life.  One of my major roles nowadays seems to be peacemaker, due to husband's increasing tendency to just blurt things out and upset all and sundry.

I've said before about his hoarding tendencies, collecting other people's rubbish which he thinks might come in useful but in reality never does, as it all just gets chucked in his shed or outside cluttering up the garden.  Well, yesterday when he was walking Betty round the estate, he noticed a neighbour who's moving home had put a load of stuff in her front garden, with a notice saying "Help yourself".  So he did! (of course).  Two of the things he brought home are actually useful - a very nice mop bucket (better than mine) and a large good quality green tub with rope handles that would make a lovely container for a big shrub.  But he also brought home loads of plastic pots of assorted sizes....why I don't know, as we've already got loads and certainly don't need any more!

I need to make some meals to go in the freezer for when sis comes on the 24th.....I had already made and frozen a couple of meals, but now they won't be suitable as they contain dairy (cheese, butter or milk) - I'd made them before sis told me she avoids all dairy now.  Doesn't matter, husband and I will eat them of course, it'll save me cooking a couple of times for us next week.  Sis suggested us going to the local theatre one evening to see a performance of Dr Strangelove, but I'm not very keen.  Firstly, I remember seeing the film years ago (Peter Sellers I think) and I didn't like it then - very weird, black comedy satire thing.  And secondly, this production stars the actor Steve Coogan, who I really don't like.  Admittedly, it's more the characters he's played - Alan Partridge in particular - that I cannot stand....which I suppose is a measure of how good an actor he is, playing a character who so successfully irritates the hell out of people in real life.  I don't know, we'll see - there may be something else on we could see instead, I'll have to have a look.....actually, I've just looked on the website and there's a production of the G&S opera HMS Pinafore - sister and I would love that, husband wouldn't, so he could drop us off there and pick us up afterwards.  Sorted!

Betty's just had the zoomies around the garden, so she's clearly feeling much better!

And it's sunny again, a bit warmer, and the forecast is for temperatures to rise with more sunshine next week.  So it's all looking up.  Oh, and the car was fine, the rogue fuse was changed in 20 minutes.

Incidentally, Sue - the price of £163 sister was charged at her vets was just for the 2 injections (the sedative and the 'kill' shot), not cremation - sister brought the cat home to bury in her garden.  I know different vets charge different rates for things - our previous vet who we saw for many years was an independent husband and wife small practice, whose charges were very low (they sometimes didn't even charge at all for minor things like nail clipping).  The first vet we signed up with here in Minehead was part of a big chain who were very expensive, as it turned out....this vet we go to now is a one man independent, whose charges are reasonable, and he's a much nicer vet, as are his receptionist and nurse.

How much?! And a pain in the ear....face....head

 Sister's cat had to be put to sleep yesterday (it cost £163!! 😱) and she's devastated, they'd had her for 15 years.  Husband and I have always had dogs, although we did have a couple of cats - sister's family always had cats.  In view of brother's FiL passing away at the weekend, sister feels guilty for grieving so much - which we've all said she shouldn't, our beloved pets are our furry children, after all.  So I shall be even more determined to make her week here as pleasant as possible, she really needs uplifting.  There's also another family problem going on (for once, nothing to do with problem relative) which is proving to be worrying and could have quite serious ramifications.  So what with all that, and a temporary cash flow problem, I'm feeling a bit stressed and drained.

And then yesterday afternoon, I started getting a bout of neuralgia in my scalp and the right side of my face.  I used to get it fairly regularly, but this is the first time in 2 or 3 years.  It's just so painful, it kept making my right eye water and my face and scalp felt like it was on fire.  Painkillers weren't doing anything and I couldn't sleep for the pain, had to get up in the middle of the night and take more tablets and hold a cold compress against the side of my head - I'd have preferred a warm one but my face and scalp felt hot enough as it was.  Think I got to sleep eventually around 03.30 and then Betty woke me up just before 7, woofing at some noise outside.  I couldn't even brush my hair this morning, my scalp was too painful.  Now, having taken another couple of doses of painkillers, it's beginning to ease up, thank goodness.  I'll have the constipation to contend with next, I had to take co-codamol as paracetamol alone wasn't touching the pain....I've got some Laxido orange sachets, will take one in a minute.

So, to keep myself occupied and not focused on the pain, I did what works best for me - I baked.  I'd seen a recipe video for cream cheese and grated courgette twisted pastry things, the pastry being made with just Greek yogurt and SR flour.  No quantities of anything given in the video, which was only about a minute long, so I just winged it and made a few additions of my own.  I made the pastry (it took a lot of flour) and rolled it out on a well-floured surface.  In the video half of it was covered with cream cheese (Philadelphia type) and grated courgette, with a little sprinkle of grated cheese, the other half of the pastry being folded over on top, before cutting into strips and twisting them.  I didn't think there'd be enough flavour, so I mixed pesto with the cream cheese and added lots of black pepper.  When it came to trying to cut out strips, I quickly realised that wasn't going to work - the pastry was just too soft.  So I just kept it as a sort of flat pasty, getting it with some difficulty onto a lined baking tray and baking in the oven - which of course took longer than it should, as it's not reaching high temps anymore.  After I'd put it in the oven, I realised I'd completely forgotten to scatter the grated courgette over - duh! 😒  I blame it on my painful head and lack of sleep.  As I had plenty of cream cheese and pesto left, and it was easy and quick enough to make another batch of pastry, I made a second one - with the courgette in it this time.  One we'll have for lunches tomorrow and Saturday, the other one (with the courgettes) has been frozen.  Although I made the pastry a bit stiffer the second time, I still didn't bother cutting it into strips and twisting them.

Husband is going out shortly, he has to take the car to a garage for a safety recall, apparently a fuse thing is in danger of catching fire.  Well, the car is over 10 years old and it hasn't caught alight yet, but better safe than sorry, I guess.  So I've got an hour or so by myself - I asked if he wanted me to go with him but he said no, he'll be fine by himself.  Thankfully, the neuralgia seems to be wearing off - I wonder what triggered it, having not had it for so long?  I think I'll just sit and read whilst husband is out, I've already prepped the dinner (cottage pie made with chicken mince, but with a topping of sliced potatoes brushed with melted butter and herbs instead of mash, with tenderstem broccoli on the side).

All quiet on the Western front

 I didn't do any garden work yesterday, although it was mostly sunny, it was too cold for me to be comfortable.  Today's weather is forecast to be much the same - it's already bright sunshine but is cold again.....husband has just come back from doing Betty's short morning walk and says it's freezing.

The blinds man rang yesterday afternoon to rearrange the appointment today, apparently the office mistakenly booked him for 2 jobs in areas that are very far apart and so he can't get to us today.  It's been rearranged for next Monday morning, bit annoying but can't be helped - at least he rang to tell us!  Does mean we've got a free afternoon though.  Husband is going to the gym this morning and dropping me off at the supermarket, as well as a normal week's worth of shopping, I also want to get a few things for when sister comes.

Just 2 days after Betty's ear treatment and it's already working, she slept very well last night (which means I did too) and has hardly shown any bother at all from her ear this morning - no scratching and only one head shake.

Nothing else to report, sorry, it's all quiet on the Western front here!

Factoring in nice things

 Thank you everyone for your supportive comments, they mean such a lot to me.  I'm fine, feeling a lot more positive, I've pulled up my big girl pants (the only ones I've got 😂) and am just getting on with things.  

I think Jane is right, I do have to factor in more things that I'll enjoy.  Generally speaking, we don't do a lot or go out and about, mainly because husband doesn't want to!  I give in because it's easier than putting up with all the grumpiness if I insist on doing something or going out somewhere.  Husband would be quite happy to just stay at home doing nothing much, just dozing in front of the bloody annoying TV with all the daytime crap that he has on, or dozing in the garden if it's warm enough.  Whereas once I've done all my daily jobs and prepped dinner, I want to be able to do something else, even if it's just doing some charity shop browsing or having a coffee out somewhere.

Despite this being a very popular holiday destination, the buses here are notoriously unreliable.  Every single day people on our local FB pages are complaining about cancellations - according to whistleblowers (ex and current bus employees), it's a combination of buses breaking down (because they're old and poorly maintained) or insufficient drivers.  Apparently, if a driver is off sick - or goes home sick having already started his shift - there aren't generally any standby drivers to take their place, so that run is simply cut out.  So for me going anywhere on the bus isn't totally reliable - if I manage to get somewhere, I might have trouble getting home again!  But I think I might start getting husband to drop me off somewhere, like in town or at one of the local beaches, then he can go home and pick me up again a few hours later.  He does already drop me off in town sometimes when he goes to the gym, but he's only in there for an hour which doesn't give me much time.  Of course, it would be nice to do things together sometimes, although I know he will complain about it.  I'll have to point out that he does something just for him - going to the gym - 3 times a week, with no complaints from me (I relish the hour by myself, to be honest!!), so he can't really complain about me wanting the opportunity to do something I'd like.

I also want to do more in the garden this year.  I'm interested in the idea of growing things - either more food or simply houseplants - from veg peelings or seeds.  I've seen some books by a gardener called Simon Akeroyd who does just that - growing food from kitchen scraps or pips - so I'd like to start doing that (I've just followed his page on FB for tips).  I love flowers and colour, so want my garden to be much more colourful this year, I'd like to grow lots more dahlias, pinks, cultivated daisy flowers and the like, perennials rather than annuals, both in beds (I want to extend the flower bed we made last year) and in pots.  So there's a few ideas that'll make me happy.

We took Betty back to the vet (3rd visit in a month! although not all for her ears) to have her Osurnia ear gel, she protested as she always does but it's done, we have to take her again next Monday for the 2nd dose - it's a 2-part thing.  But at least we know she'll be feeling so much better by then.

I've already done my morning jobs for today, now I'm going to write a shopping list.....we're doing a biggish shop tomorrow, and I need to do a quick freezer and larder inventory first.  The sun is out but it's a bit chilly, the temperature has dropped a few degrees since the weekend and there's a cold wind, but if I put my fleece jacket and gloves on, I should be able to do a bit more tidying, pruning etc in the garden, if only for half an hour.

Thumping bread dough to work off frustration

 We had another death in the family over the weekend, my brother's FiL - not unexpected as he was 92 and in a care home due to deteriorating health, still, the loss of a parent is never easy.  That leaves my siblings and I and virtually all of our cousins parentless - just one elderly aunt left, but she's also in a care home suffering from dementia and poor physical health so is probably not long for this world.  It's sad to think we have no older relatives left, nobody to ask a question of about things in the past - like my Russian salad memory, I'd have loved to ask Mum about it.

My life seems to be full of minor irritations and struggles at the moment, there are a number of things causing me problems and, as always, only me to sort them out.  Nothing is major, but having lots of minor irritations is just as annoying and worrying as one big thing.  I'll get through it all, as I usually do, but there are occasionally times when I think to myself 'But what about me, who looks after me?'.  I had a disagreement with a friend the other day, who seems to think he knows all about our situation (he doesn't), and he finished up by saying "We just have to put up with it, we're all in the same boat".  Erm, no we most certainly are not, and saying that is just blasé, shows little understanding and makes light of the problem.  Husband got a telling off on the phone yesterday from his daughter - he'd said something in their previous phone call which upset her.  I just thought to myself.....she's lucky he's only upset her once, if I got upset every time he said something hurtful or inappropriate to me, I'd constantly be in tears, every day!  He's got absolutely no filter and just blurts things out without thinking at all - he can't help it, it's the cognitive impairment, but that doesn't make it any less hurtful.

I think I need to make some bread (thumping the dough around would help work off a bit of frustration!) or do a thorough spring clean, or a major declutter.  A good long hike in the countryside all by myself would probably help.....except that my herniated lumbar disc is really playing up again, as is the trochanteric bursitis in my hips, and my right knee gave out yesterday in the garden - which was a surprise as it's normally my left one!  So long hikes, especially on uneven ground, are out, which is sad as I used to really enjoy long walks in the countryside.

I'll be alright in a day or 2 I expect, I'm never down for long nowadays - I can't afford to be!

The weather is going downhill this week, back to colder days, little sun and cold, possibly frosty nights.  Never mind, I'll stay indoors in the warm and do some batch baking and cooking.

Biscuits for Betty

 One of my readers, J (who doesn't have a blog!) asked if the cause of Betty's recurrent ear problems is known.  Yes - our previous vet who we had seen since Betty was a puppy (she's now nearly 8.5 years) said that it's down to her ear shape - she has very small ears with very narrow channels and they're also very hairy inside, this means she doesn't get a good air flow in her ears.  She doesn't have ear mites, it's a recurrent yeast infection.  He told us there is an operation to widen the ear canal, but like any operation it comes with a risk - from the anaesthetic and the possibility of damaging her ear canal, and it doesn't always work anyway.  So we decided it probably wasn't worth the risk.  The gel he used to prescribe her, called Osurnia, works very well and quickly clears up the infection.  Betty used to get these ear infections around 4 or 5 times a year in the early years.....now it's down to maybe twice or three times a year.  Thanks for your question.

Lovely day yesterday, not wall to wall sunshine, in fact it was a bit hazy and dull at times, but nice and warm.  Husband planted up 3 bags with seed potatoes, 2 spuds in each bag, and sowed another row of carrot seeds.  I spent the morning in the kitchen, making soup from a bagful of frozen cauli and broccoli stalks, I added some cream cheese (that Philadelphia plant one, it has no real taste to it but is quite thick and creamy), chopped sage, plenty of black pepper and whizzed it up with my stick blender, stirring in a handful of grated Cheddar (the real stuff!) before serving for lunch.  I also made a cake - it was going to be an ordinary light fruit cake but I decided to make a spiced dried apricot and cranberry one instead, lovely.  Then I made dog biscuits - mashed banana with peanut butter (100% peanuts and nothing else) and a squirt of honey, mixed with oat flour made from whizzed up rolled oats and baked until crisp.  

I also made Russian salad - do you remember that from years ago?  We used to have it at home when I was a child, I think it came in tins, it was diced potatoes, carrots and peas in a mayo-type dressing - a bit like a fancy potato salad, I guess.  Not seen it in the shops for years and years, but somebody mentioned it either on a blog or FB the other day, and it reminded me how much I used to like it.  I made the dressing by mixing mayo, some of that plant Philadelphia and a spoonful of Dijon mustard, yum.  We had it to accompany buttermilk chicken burgers (bought) in rolls for dinner.

I'm doing well at using up the contents of the freezer, it's half empty now, my intention is to do a freezer shop and another couple of batch cooks of meals just before sister comes.  Eating out of the freezer and larder cupboard means I'm not having to spend much on food shopping either, just the odd top up of fresh veg and fruit.  

Wall to wall warm sunshine forecast today, definitely an outdoors day.

Best laid plans...

 Since we don't have a full size cooker anymore, and haven't for a couple of years or so, we use various small appliances instead - air fryer, table top mini oven, microwave and single electric hotplate, most of which are in use almost every day, plus a slow cooker and sandwich toaster which get occasional use.  The mini oven is on the way out - as I mentioned before, it's not reaching high temperatures anymore and the inside is becoming corroded.  After doing a lot of research, I decided to get a Ninja Combi 12 in 1, it'll do the job of the oven and the air fryer, the slow cooker as well apparently, it has excellent reviews.  I was planning on getting it next week, it's not cheap but this month is one of our 'bonus' months when we get an extra payment - in this case, my Carers Allowance.  But, sod's law, our electric hotplate gave up the ghost at the beginning of the week.  This is the 2nd one we've had, it was a free replacement for the first one which broke down after just a few months, this current one is only about 18 months old, I think.  I didn't want another one the same, they don't seem to be very reliable or longlasting, so after some more research I bought a different one.  So far, it seems excellent, is simple to operate and heats up much quicker than the last one.  It also looks so much nicer - not that being aesthetically pleasing is high on my list of priorities really, but it's nice to have a better looking one.  So now I don't know if I can get the Ninja next week, it rather depends on how much the vertical blinds are going to cost me.  Those I do want, very definitely - I'll know after the blinds man comes to measure up and give us the quote on Wednesday.  I do have a fair idea of the cost, having had one quote already. 

But my phone and laptop are both playing up now, I've had them for a few years and do use them extensively, so it's looking like I will soon have to replace them.  So now it seems like I'm going to have to re-think our Needs & Wants list for this year - at least a couple of things (Wants) will have to be crossed off altogether, or at the very least postponed till next year.  Sigh.  There's always a spanner in the works.

We took Betty to the vet yesterday (there's another expense!), he agrees that her current ear infection needs stronger treatment than the stuff he's already given her, which isn't clearing it up.  He asked what our previous vet used to treat her with, so I told him and said it works very well and very quickly.  This vet doesn't stock that particular treatment, he uses something else, but he said it would make sense to give Betty the same treatment she's used to, given that it works so well for her.  So he said he would order some in (they get deliveries of orders every day) and we've to take her back on Monday to have the new stuff.  He said to carry on with the current stuff over the weekend, and to give her an antihistamine tablet as well, to stop the intense itching and scratching of her ear - it's fine to give her an ordinary human tablet, the vet ones aren't any different (but obviously cost more!!).  We gave her the antihistamine yesterday and she slept like a log last night on my bed, didn't disturb me at all.  Which meant I got a good sleep as well.  She seems fine this morning, she's had a walk and her breakfast and is now snoozing again!

Lovely weather apparently this weekend, it's already quite warm outside, husband is in the garden planting up some chitted spuds in bags - we use empty compost bags to grow them in.  I'm about to make a cake, just a simple light fruit cake, and some banana & peanut butter dog biscuits, which Betty likes.

We've started

 It was sunny in the morning again yesterday, but there was a chilly breeze, this meant the temperature, supposedly 14 deg, felt more like 8 or 9.  Come mid afternoon, the sun disappeared and clouds came over, with a few spots of rain in the evening.  It's going to be cloudy with the odd shower today too, but more sunny spells over the weekend, apparently.  And then it's getting colder again next week, and back to overnight frosts.  Ah well, it'll be warmer very soon, and we can't complain about the nice warm sunny days we've had this week.

We've sown some carrot seeds in one of the raised beds and planted some shallot sets in another.  Over the weekend we'll be planting some of the chitted potatoes in bags, then towards the end of the month we'll start sowing beetroot seeds, and another row or 2 of carrots.  We're going to buy tomatoes, mini cucumbers, courgettes and butternut squashes as mini plants, rather than growing from seed - most of the seeds we sowed in trays last year failed and we ended up having to buy them as plants anyway.  We don't need loads of plants in any case, so just buying the few plants we need seems more sensible.  We'll put radish and spring onion seeds in any gaps, they'll grow pretty quickly anyway.  We've drawn up a plan of where everything is going - I must make sure husband sticks to the plan, he has a habit of going off piste and sowing or planting things without telling me he's doing it, and completely disregarding the plans.  It feels great to be able to start growing veg.

Poor Betty's got her ear infection back again, it's come on quite quickly this time, so it's another vet trip for her today.  Poor thing, she was very uncomfortable and restless last night.

Oh dear

 Husband had an argument with an elderly female local this morning - not one of our fellow sheltered housing residents, but someone who lives nearby.  It was something and nothing really, a bit of a misunderstanding, the woman raised an objection and husband first contradicted and then argued with her.  The prudent thing to do would have been to simply acknowledge her with an "Ok, sorry" and walk away, rather than getting involved in an argument.  I wasn't present, so I only have husband's version of what happened, and he sometimes forgets things or leaves out things which don't present him in the best light, shall we say.  I always think of possible consequences of words and actions - husband doesn't.  Ever.  Husband always used to be very laid back, now with his cognitive impairment he is often confrontational and argumentative, which is sometimes difficult to deal with.  I've learnt to just bite my tongue and take myself off into my bedroom or the garden, to walk away from the situation - some things are just not worth the aggravation and I would say this confrontation with the local woman was probably one of those things.  All I said to husband was that it's not a good idea to get involved in arguments with people we live near, and he should perhaps avoid her in the future.  I just hope nothing further comes of it.

I'm turning off comments for this post, I'm not asking for advice but simply getting something off my chest so that it doesn't fester in my brain for ages.

Betty in action

 I've just found this photo of Betty rolling about on the sand, I knew I'd managed to get one at least once!  It's from 2022.  In answer to your question, June - yes lots of dogs like rolling around on their backs, be it on sand or grass - Betty especially likes rolling in long grass.  Can't say I've seen one doing what Betty does on the beach though - digging a hole first and then throwing herself in it and rolling around.  She clearly loves it though and I love watching her enjoying herself so much.

Oh and I've just realised she's not actually in the hole that she'd dug 😂😂

Finally a nice product

 Thank you for comments and more suggestions for dairy-free foods.  Yesterday we tried Flora Buttery on some crackers, I'd bought it at the same time as the Lurpak plant-based, to use in baking.  Well, the Flora is actually really nice (Yellow Shoes mentioned this yesterday), I'd be happy to have that on toast or a sourdough sandwich anytime.  And it's cheaper than even supermarket own brand butter, so there's a win.  We'll have the Flora Buttery as our spread of choice and use the Lurpak plant butter up in baking.  Once I've used up the Lurpak, I'll probably just use Flora Buttery for everything, baking and spreading, from now on.  I can't see me ever really getting to like any vegan cheeses though, I just don't like the taste of those that I've tried.  Whereas I love any dairy cheese, especially strong flavoured ones and blue cheeses.

My hayfever is really kicking in now, every morning for the last few days shortly after I get up and open the windows, my eyes and nose start streaming and itching, so it's a quick squirt with the antihistamine spray which does calm things down.  

We took Betty to Dunster beach yesterday, as it was such a nice sunny and warm day it was quite busy there, unsurprisingly.  She loved running about and digging in the sand, doing her usual favourite thing of digging a hole and then throwing herself down into it and rolling around on her back.  I had done a video of her on my phone, but when we got home and I looked at it, I'd missed her completely, she wasn't even in the shot - the sun was in my eyes and I couldn't see what I was aiming at 😂 . Photography is not one of my skills!

A second before I took this photo, she was on her back in the hole she'd dug, obviously leapt up just as I took it 😂😒

Husband cooked some beef mince and liver for Betty yesterday, with the kitchen door shut - I cannot stand the smell of beef and any offal cooking nowadays, it makes my stomach heave.  Once he'd cooked it and it had cooled a bit (so was less smelly), I mixed in some cooked sweet potato and broccoli, portioned it up into plastic tubs and froze it, it made enough for 8 meals for her.

15 degrees and wall-to-wall sunshine is forecast today - whoopee!  So we'll be in the garden for much of the day, I expect.  Or we might take a picnic, our first one of the year, to the beach 😁

Non-dairy - it's a No from me

 We normally have butter, Lurpak by choice if it's on offer, any other branded one that happens to be on offer if not, or even the supermarket's own brand.  Last week, Lurpak had an offer on their vegan plant-based butter, which I didn't even know they made.....as it was on offer I bought 2, one of which I froze for when sis comes.  I opened the other to have on our morning toast yesterday.....it's awful, it tastes like cheap margarine, and with an odd plasticky aftertaste.  I'm quite disappointed, I'd had high expectations with it being Lurpak.  Never mind, I'll use it in baking.  I've also tried the Philadelphia plant based soft 'cheese' spread.....not overly keen on that either.  I guess, like most things, it's a case of getting used to them.  However, to be perfectly honest, since my dairy intolerances are quite mild, I doubt I'll be bothering with any of the dairy-free substitutes after sister has gone home, just getting them in for her each time she comes down to stay.  The Oakwood smoked vegan 'cheddar' I quite like as slices with crackers, but not terribly keen on a cheese sauce with it, too gloopy as I said the other day and although a mild smoky flavour comes through, it didn't really taste cheesy.  I'll continue with my lacto-free milk I've been having for years, as ordinary milk does make my sinus problems much worse.  SAM and Brenda, I think you're both right, it is really a case of enjoying the dairy and meat free things in their own right, rather than as substitutes....the problem is, though, I don't really like the actual taste of them, whatever they are.  I guess if I had no choice and had to have them for medical reasons, I'd soon begin to like them!

With some trepidation, I set out to use the printer yesterday - astonishingly, it worked straight away, with no problems whatsoever!  As I hadn't needed to do any printing for months and months prior to yesterday, I was expecting no end of problems.  What a relief!  It was obviously my lucky day 😂😂

The weather forecast is so good for the rest of this week and through the weekend, warm and sunny (with a possible shower or two on Friday), I expect we'll be busy doing some more garden jobs, taking advantage of the sunshine.  We'll take Betty for a beach run or two as well.  

Husband's got to take the car to a garage next week, he had a safety recall letter come through, apparently a fuse needs changing as it could be a fire risk.  We've got the chap from 'H' Blinds coming next week as well, to give us quotes for the kitchen and lounge windows.  I'll be glad to get vertical blinds, we've got nets at the moment and I'm really not a fan of them.

The poor get poorer...

 I did the new monthly budget yesterday and made a note of all the increases in both income and monthly bills to commence in April.  It appears that the increases in husband's state pension, our small private pensions and our Attendance and Carers allowances won't cover the increases in all our household bills.  There'll be a shortfall, albeit a reasonably small one, but a shortfall all the same.  It won't be a problem, but will mean I'll have to keep a close eye on the finances (I do anyway) and may not be able to put away as much in savings as I'd like.  Hey ho, we've got a roof over our heads and enough money to pay all our bills and have a comfortable life, many don't have that, so we're blessed.  It's just a bit annoying that pensioners seem to be getting poorer, whilst MPs, CEOs of big corporations, footballers and the like have huge payrises.  Where's the fairness in that?

Husband is dropping me off at the supermarket this morning on his way to the gym.  I need a small top up shop again, no big shop yet as I want to use up lots of things in the freezer, prior to doing a big shop just before sister arrives (3 weeks today!).  So it's mainly fruit and veg and some milk needed.

I made the dairy-free cheese sauce yesterday, using oat milk, nutritional yeast flakes and grated applewood smoked, I added some mustard and sage for flavour.  It came out quite gloopy but the taste was alright, even husband said he liked it.  I found it not cheesy enough for my tastes, but I'll rectify that the next time I make it - practice makes perfect.

Sunday jobs

 Another hard frost overnight, the heating came on in the early hours but it's fine and bright sunshine now....in fact lovely weather is forecast for the next several days.

I've got a busy morning, the budget for the month to do, a new menu plan using up lots of things in the freezer.  I need to print something off, which isn't as easy as it should be - firstly husband has to scrabble about under his desk to locate the cables and plug them in.  He disconnects them each time...don't ask me why, another of his cognitive foibles probably.  As I don't often have a need to print anything, and I'm technologically challenged, every time I need to print something it's always like I've never done it before, I can't remember how to do it so have to look it up - it usually involves a lot of swearing 😂😂.  After a big mug of coffee and a game of something or other on the computer - to calm my nerves 😉 - then I'll get on with dinner prep - toad in the hole today with a sort of potato dauphinoise thing - sliced potatoes in a cheese sauce, I want to try making a dairy-free one with oat milk, nutritional yeast flakes and the oakwood smoked cheese.  Green veggies on the side.  

Husband's got some garden work to do, I can keep an eye on him from the kitchen window, help where necessary, guide him back to the job he's supposed to be doing (he never finishes one job at a time but flits between jobs, which means nothing gets completed).  I'll also keep him supplied with cuppas and make sure he has breaks.  Then we'll relax this afternoon.  Oh and Sue - nooooo, we won't be dressing up and going to watch the darts!! 😂😂

Early start to hayfever, and warm sunny days at last

 I've realised that my sinus problems and subsequent headache aren't just down to blocked sinuses at the moment, but also to hayfever.  It's always been early Spring that my hayfever kicks in, caused by birch and hazel pollen (I had tests to identify the triggers years ago).  Luckily, I have antihistamine spray and tablets, I've used the spray the last couple of days and it's already helping to unblock my sinuses and alleviate my stuffy head.

I didn't sleep well at all last night, probably due to things on my mind.  I've been asked to write a letter for someone, a sort of character reference, and that was going through my head last night.  I've just sat and done it though, so at least it's out of my head now.

We had a beautiful sunny and warm day yesterday, with virtually no wind, very Spring-like indeed.  We went to Watchet (a small but pretty harbour town for those not familiar with it) yesterday - actually it's where the bronze statue of Captain Jack that Betty likes so much is.  We walked along the west pier and stood at the end leaning against the railings for ages, looking out to sea (the tide was out), it was absolutely gorgeous.

Today the weather is much the same, following a hard frost last night it's now bright sunshine, blue sky and warm, and is forecast to be the same for several days.  Spring at last!!  We're out in the garden today, putting that green plastic edging around all the gravel beds to stop the problem of gravel falling all over the paths.  Some national darts championship is on at Butlins this weekend, so we won't be going anywhere near Minehead, it'll be heaving I expect.  Fortunately, we're far enough away from there not to be bothered by it.