That's that done

 The clothes culling yesterday went pretty much as I expected.  It took me half an hour to do my wardrobe and chest of drawers, then another hour to help husband with his....honestly, he's so indecisive and cannot seem to work out what to keep and what to throw out.  The things I suggested he chuck included a shirt and smart pair of trousers that he'd last worn to his daughter's wedding - about 18 years ago.  He's put on a fair bit of weight since then, so there's no way they'd still fit him.  He also still had some uniform from his last job - he retired 7 or 8 years ago!  How those things managed to make it here when we moved house 2 1/2 years ago I don't know, I can only assume that when I asked him to pack only the clothes he wore and discard any others, he didn't hear me or just couldn't be bothered.  Anyway, it's done now, between us we've filled 3 1/2 bin bags for the charity shop.  

I've just realised neither of us went through our shoe collection, so that's a job for another day.  I also need to go through the bedding and towels......we certainly have too many towels, I'm sure the dog charity shop will be glad of them.

So this morning we'll be taking the bin bags of clothes to one of the charity shops (whichever one we can park outside), and I also want to look through a couple of them....not for more clothes(!!) but for DVDs for husband to watch on holiday.

Husband's sister messaged me yesterday to say she's awaiting an appointment with oncology to discuss having chemotherapy, I'm sure her husband and daughter will be relieved that she's now considering it.  Although she's still saying she's not made up her mind for definite yet, which is fair enough.

Still good....but today might not be

 It's now been 2 whole weeks of calm - well, as calm as it gets in our household! - with no arguments or aggravations, although I do feel like the rug is going to be pulled out from under my feet at any time.  Today, though, is going to be a bit fraught....more on that later.

Whilst it has been a good couple of weeks, there are one or two things that husband does which do irritate me, although I've been making a big effort not to let it get to me.  No. 1 - when I've asked husband to do something like emptying the kitchen bin (a job which he has always done, although now I have to actually ask him to do it), if the neighbours are out in their car port husband will heave a big sigh and with an air of martyrdom say "Just doing my chores".  Chores plural - as if it's not just the one job I've asked him to do, but he's got a great big long (imaginary) list of jobs!  The other thing is to do with meals.....now, as long as I've known husband he's always had a very good appetite and has happily eaten literally anything I've put in front of him, he's never been a fussy eater and will eat pretty much anything.  Except now he doesn't.  Whilst I know tastes change over time - hence why I now almost never eat meat - husband will now say he doesn't like something he's always eaten before and that we normally eat regularly, like the frittata we had a couple of days ago.  He has taken to making complaints about the meal nearly every day.....it's too spicy, or not spicy enough!, he'd rather have had potatoes than pasta, he wanted gravy not a sauce, he doesn't like sweetcorn (having previously enjoyed it for years).  The list of complaints goes on and on.  Now, considering I cook almost everything from scratch and try to ensure he gets something meaty or with meat on the side (whereas I eat mostly vegetarian), I now find myself thinking what's the point of me cooking for him if he's just going to complain all the time?  Why don't I just let him buy and cook his own food?  He'd soon get fed up with that!  Besides, whenever he cooks steak or chops, which he likes the most and I let him cook them as I really dislike the smell of meat cooking nowadays, he always wants to fry them at a blisteringly high heat which means that fat gets splashed liberally everywhere.  And of course he doesn't clean it up.  

Some months ago, we did try buying a load of ready meals for him, I let him choose his own.  Well, that didn't work out - he either didn't like the taste of them or they weren't big enough portions.  I'm not in favour of buying ready meals anyway, too many UPFs and unknown ingredients.  So he'll just have to do what he's always done, and be happy to eat what I cook for him.  Or cook his own. 

As for why today is going to be a trying one......I've said that we are both sorting out our wardrobes today, we both have acquired too many clothes.  Husband isn't keen, he's already complaining about it and says he wears everything.....erm no he doesn't, not by a long way.  In fact he only wears the same few items over and over again, as they're the first things he grabs in the morning, being the last (and nearest) things that were put (thrown) back into his wardrobe/shelves after being washed and dried.  I've told him it should be easy - anything he hasn't worn in a year or more, or he doesn't like, or doesn't fit him anymore (he's put on nearly a stone over the past few months through inactivity) he can put in the charity shop bag.  But I know he'll be moaning like mad and calling me in every 5 minutes to ask if he should keep something!

One huge good thing today - the garage have just rung to say the car has actually passed the MOT!!  Hallelujah!  There are a couple of minor things (not MOT failures) that will need sorting within the next few months, so husband told them to go ahead and do them whilst they've got the car.  Wonderful.  Whilst I really don't know how much longer husband will be driving, as the psychologist who did his initial cognitive tests a few weeks ago (it was May I think) said in her opinion husband is OK to carry on driving at the moment, I'm satisfied with that, so it makes sense to get the work done on the car.  I must say though, it's one thing to make a judgement of being a safe driver based on asking a few questions in an office, it's not the same as being sat beside him in the car!  Whilst I do have some concerns about his driving, I wouldn't allow him to carry on if I thought he was a danger to himself or others.

Right, I've prevaricated long enough - on with the clothes culling!

Sshhh, don't say it

 Life is jogging along quite nicely right now.  I'm almost loath to say it, as our daily life seems to be like a house of cards that can, and often does, topple over at any minute.  So fingers crossed!  Betty's back to her normal self, and husband is noticeably less unsteady on his feet - he's hardly lost his balance or stumbled at all this past week, so it looks like the locum GP lowering one of his BP tablets has worked.  His BP is more or less back up to normal - well, not quite normal as such, it's still a bit on the low side, but is normal for him, whereas when we went to the doctor's it was really very low indeed.  He hasn't had any angina pain - well, he says he hasn't but he's not always entirely truthful about that - nor has he shown any other worrying signs, which is good.  His short term memory remains atrocious but I don't think that's going to change.  He does seem to be less inclined to do things nowadays, I've noticed he's not showing much interest in doing anything in the garden, nor has he started any of his madcap DIY projects outside.  He also agreed straight away when I said I don't want us growing so much produce next year.  He's been spending more time just watching TV - well, dozing in his recliner chair in front of the TV which is playing away merrily to itself.  But then he is 75, so it's not really surprising.  And, the best thing of all as far as I'm concerned, he's been a lot less argumentative and confrontational lately.  I hope it lasts.

I've more or less finished my cardigan, other than sewing in the yarn ends and threading some shirring elastic through the cuffs, which have come out a bit bigger than I was expecting.  Once I've done that I'll put a photo on here.

I need to go through my yarn stash tomorrow to see if I have enough of one colour/weight to make the jumper I want to do next.  I also need to do a wardrobe and chest of drawers cull, they're bursting at the seams.  The box of bedding under my bed is too full as well.  I need to adopt the 'one new item in, one old one out' practice!

Planning for the holiday

 Betty's back to normal now, these sicky episodes of hers (which the vet says are simply gastric upsets caused by her having a more sensitive stomach as she gets older) seem to follow a pattern and last just a couple of days.  She's usually sick a few times (it was 3x on Tuesday), isn't interested in eating and just mopes around looking very sorry for herself.  Then, and it seems to happen quite suddenly, she's back to her normal self, quite lively - well, as lively as she gets nowadays - and is usually very hungry.  That happened yesterday, when I got up it was clear she was feeling a lot better and was immediately wanting feeding.  We took her out with us in the car when we went shopping, as I wanted to keep an eye on her rather than leaving her home alone, I went into the stores on my own leaving husband in the car with her.  She was absolutely fine.  

I bought a new dog bed - well, a soft fluffy mattress to go in her big solid plastic bed in the lounge, to take with us when we go on holiday (we're not taking the plastic bed, just the mattress).  I also got a couple of toys for her, again for the holiday, these and the bed are put away until we go.  I've been getting a few things for our holiday....new lightweight dressing gowns for both of us, a new cross body bag for me, we've both got new shoes.  I picked up some toiletries and a new washbag.  I've got a couple of new books - well, new to me second hand ones - which I must not start on before we go!  I need to get some DVDs for husband to watch.  I'm really into crocheting again, I've already picked out my next project, which will be a jumper, I think I have enough of the appropriate yarn in my stash.  I also have a couple of needle punching kits I bought ages ago, I'll probably take one of those.....so I'll have plenty to keep me occupied whilst we're away.  And of course we've got a few trips out planned, to Wells and Clarks outlet village for a start.  We might go to Glastonbury too, we've been there before a few times several years ago (we once saw the actor Nicolas Cage there, crossing the road - he has a home there....or did).  You see some strange sights in Glastonbury, there are several shops selling things for witches and warlocks, spell books, healing crystals and the like - most of which are heavily geared towards tourists I think.  People dress very unconventionally there, anything goes!  It's certainly an experience, my sister when we took her there described it as the most pagan place she'd ever been! 😂

I've already told husband I'm not intending to do much cooking whilst we're there - I'll take a couple of home cooked meals with us for the first couple of days, then we'll go food shopping.  We'll be getting good quality ready meals (the store's Finest or Taste the Difference ranges) and a pizza or two, with some easy to prep veggies or salad stuff.  We'll also eat out for lunch a couple of times or have a takeaway or two.  I want a rest from cooking for the week.

Less produce next year

 Having taken a few doses of painkillers the last day or two, my shoulder is much better today, I've already finished crocheting the cardigan cuffs this morning.  I'll start on the edging today, more or less making it up as I go along.  Betty's having a sicky day, so I won't be going anywhere, she's already been sick a couple of times this morning but is now peacefully sleeping beside me in her bed.

Light rain showers again this morning - at this rate the grass will be greening up!  Husband brought in another big bowlful of tomatoes, I've no plans for doing anything with them at the moment so have simply bagged them up and put them in the freezer, to make pasta sauce or soup with at a later date.  More courgettes are also ready to come in, so I'll probably roast another trayful for freezing this afternoon.

We've - well, I've - decided that next year we will definitely be growing less produce....husband is getting to the stage where he's less able or keen to look after the growing veggies, and I don't want to be inundated with tons of produce to deal with all at once.  We'll just be growing 6 types of veg - tomatoes, mini cucumbers, courgettes, potatoes, carrots and leeks.  The tomatoes are so useful so I don't mind lots of them, we eat a lot of cucumbers mainly at lunchtimes.  Courgettes we both love and are easy and quick to prep and cook and are quite versatile.  Fresh new potatoes and carrots are lovely, growing the potatoes in bags means we can harvest just one lot at a time, and pull just a few carrots as and when we need them.  Leeks last for ages in the soil so again we can just pull a couple at a time.  

We won't be growing French or runner beans again, husband planted so many, more than twice the quantity I'd asked for, which meant we were absolutely inundated with them this summer, I've frozen several bags full and we've given loads and loads away.  I'm not even that fond of French beans, to be perfectly honest!  The same with beetroot - something I'm not a huge lover of.  No strawberries from now on either - I do love strawberries but husband just doesn't keep them properly covered with fleece or netting, so they get eaten to death by birds, slugs and woodlice.  Besides, there's plenty of British strawberries in the shops which taste perfectly nice.  It is hard though to get husband to understand that we don't need (or want) to grow the vast quantities of veg that he's been used to growing in previous years, because there's only the two of us, we're getting older and more infirm and there's only so much we can cope with.

Rain at last, and oh the pain

 We've actually had rain this morning - not heavy, but gentle steady rain for a couple of hours, it's stopped now.  Hopefully it will have done the garden some good.  It feels quite fresh now after the rain, but according to the weatherman yesterday it's going to feel humid later on.

I had to get up in the night and take more painkillers, and more when I got up this morning, my shoulder was absolute agony.  I think it's because I've been chopping a load more veggies, and doing quite a lot of crocheting the past few days.  I'm doing the cuffs on my cardi now, I had to watch a couple of youtube videos first as it's been many years since I last did crochet ribbing and had forgotten how to do it.  It was a bit tricky to start with but I soon got the hang of it, I've completed one cuff and am halfway through the other.  However, I think I'll give it a rest for a day or two, to give my shoulder a chance to recover.

I'm pretty pleased with this cardigan so far, it's been such a long time since I made a garment for myself, I've mainly done baby blankets, shawls, scarves, hats and the odd baby matinee jacket for the past few years.  The cardi isn't perfect, there are a couple of mistakes, but they're not really visible and I'm sure I'll be the only one who knows about them, no-one else will notice unless I point them out.  The main body of the cardi is from a pattern by a lovely youtuber I follow, her channel is called AC Crochets, she's a very pretty young woman who is a prolific crocheter and gives very clear instructions - she crochets so fast and with very long false nails, I don't know how she does it!  I wasn't keen on the cuffs and edging she's done on this particular garment though, so I've taken the cuffs off another channel (sorry I can't remember the name of the lady).  The edging I'll just make up as I go along, doing my own thing, I've done so many blanket edgings over the years so it'll be easy to do.  I will put photos on of the finished article.

Thank you for all the comments on my last post, I'll definitely be stopping the pet insurance in January when it's up for renewal.  My baby is lying gently snoring in her bed beside me right now, I can't imagine what life will be like once she's gone, I couldn't bear to think of life without a dog, and without my beautiful Betty specifically, she brings me so much joy and makes me laugh every day.

A philosophical mood

 Finally, finally, it's quite a bit cooler out, a pleasantly warm 24 deg with an even more pleasant light cooling breeze.  However - we can smell smoke.....it's not a fire anywhere near us thankfully, but it's all over our local FB pages, apparently, it's coming from the wildfires in South Wales, the breeze coming from the north is blowing the smoke our way.  If we can smell the smoke here in Somerset, across the 10 miles or so of the Bristol channel, how much more awful it must be where the fires are - terrifying.  Having had a house fire years ago (I was 13 at the time) which was thankfully confined to the kitchen and part of the hallway, I cannot imagine how utterly dreadful it must be to lose one's entire home and belongings in a fire.  Not to mention the destruction of so many acres of land, and I can't even bear to think about the poor animals and birds lost in the fire.  I don't think any people have lost their lives due to the wildfires, I hope not.  And food is going to be so much more expensive (as if it isn't costly enough already) as a result of these wildfires and the heatwaves destroying the crops and animal feed.  It does make me appreciate even more just how fortunate we are to have a lovely home, space to grow produce, enough money to buy the food we can't grow, to have reasonably good health (even if it's not perfect) and to live in a civilised part of the world.  I hope any of my readers who live near one of the danger areas are safe and well.

I'm in a philosophical mood today.

I've decided that when Betty's pet insurance is next up for renewal (January), I'm going to cancel it.  Since she turned 7 years old (she'll be 10 at the end of October) her insurance premium has shot up each year, seems the insurance companies class dogs as Seniors once they reach 7, thus being more susceptible to illness.  I dread to think what the premium will jump to once she's 10.  Already I've found out that the insurance company will not now cover certain things because of her age, so it seems a bit pointless to keep paying increasing premiums for less and less cover.  Instead I'll be putting money away in a savings account to pay for treatment, I've already started actually so there'll be a good little lump sum come January.  I've also come to a decision that if she becomes very unwell with a serious illness or, God forbid, a nasty accident, either of which requiring lots of hugely expensive treatment which may only prolong her life for a short while, then I must seriously consider whether it would be right to try and keep her going, if it were only for my sake.  Of course I don't want her to die, she's my baby and I love her to bits, but the reality is she is going to die in the probably not too distant future (average life span for her two breeds is between 8 and 12 years).  And I don't want to try keeping her alive with expensive, invasive or unpleasant (for her) treatment if it's not going to significantly benefit her.  I just hope I'll be strong enough to do what's best for my beloved Betty when the time comes.

Obviously husband will have a say in this too, but I must consider the possibility that he may not be capable mentally to make such a decision, so it may well rest solely on my shoulders.

Now I must do something to cheer myself up!!

Nice lunch, more noise, cooling

 Well, it wasn't significantly cooler yesterday, we were still melting, the car thermometer showed 30 deg on our way back from lunch out.  It was a very nice lunch, I had chicken caesar salad whilst husband had haddock, chips and mushy peas.  We had egg on toast for a simple little supper later.

Neighbour Mr X and his brother have been working on the barn conversion themselves this week, so it's been intermittently noisy.  I don't think either of them are builders, they jointly own a motorbike shop I think, but they do seem to be 'have a go' types.  Mr X was telling husband yesterday that they've had a structural engineer in to examine the barn as apparently there's rather a large crack in the gable end wall.  The engineer said it needs rectifying as a matter of urgency, else the wall (plus the roof and other walls I imagine) is in danger of falling down.  He apparently told Mr X and brother what they need to do, so they've been doing it.  I hope for their sakes (and the sakes of any future guests, as it will be a holiday home when completed) that they'll have the engineer back to check on the work in due course!  No sign of any new 'proper' builders yet.

We haven't really been that much affected by the noise this week, as it's been too hot to sit out in the garden anyway.  We've had all the windows open, but with the noise of our fans which are going all day, the banging and machinery noises from next door aren't too intrusive.

The weather people are saying the temperatures will drop from today and for the next week, to what we should have for this time of year.....I do hope so, I need some energy back!  Plus I need to finish sewing (crocheting) up the cardigan, before getting on with the cuffs and edging.

A non-event

 We didn't bother buying safety glasses for the eclipse, which was just as well as it turned out.  Although it was still blisteringly hot with blue skies early yesterday evening, there was quite a lot of cloud too which obscured the sun, so nothing of the eclipse could be seen from here anyway.  And it didn't even really get dark....just a sort of strange grey colour, and even that was brief.  So it was all a bit of a non-event here.  The only thing affected was Betty, she became quite whiny, anxious and restless for about 10 minutes.  Incidentally, why so many thousands of people left it till yesterday afternoon to queue up to try and buy the glasses I don't know, it's not like it wasn't advertised enough before!

This 5th heatwave is draining all the energy out of me, I've had no desire to do pretty much anything except sit in front of the fan in my room, reading a book.  I've begun sewing - well, crocheting actually - the pieces of my cardigan together but can't do much of that at a time, it's been so hot and humid that my fingers get too sticky to hold the yarn.  Thankfully it's forecast to be a few degrees cooler today.

Plants in our garden, both flowers and veggies, are really suffering, despite husband watering them - no hosepipe ban here yet, although our water company texted to say save water else we'll be introducing a ban.  Everything is dying off or shrivelling up in the heat, our tomato and cucumber plants are wilting, some of the perennial flowers have simply stopped flowering altogether.  The garden looks so colourless, brown and drab, makes me feel quite sad.  I know it'll all pick up once we have a decent amount of rain.

We're going out for lunch today at my instigation, I think we both need to get out of the house (and the doldrums).  

Look away if you're a bit sensitive about health symptoms!

 It's been quite a busy couple of weeks, what with health appointments, a couple of unexpected landlord maintenance visits and family visitors.  That has meant that my low-fodmap diet had gone off track, resulting in a return of some of my IBS symptoms.  The diet needs a lot of thinking about and has to be stuck to quite rigidly, which isn't very easy to do when we have unexpected appointments and visitors.  So yesterday evening I went through my books and the Fodmap app I have on my phone, reacquainting myself with the 'can eat' and 'definitely can't eat' rules.  I'm pretty much having to start on the Stage 1 Restriction phase again, to clear my system of the problem foods I've gone off track and eaten recently.  Ah well, at least I know the diet works, having already done around 4 weeks of the first phase and eliminated most of the IBS symptoms.  Hopefully, I can get through the Restriction phase and start on a few Reintroductions before we go on holiday.  

So far I've been able to work out that wheat and gluten are a major problem for my insides, as are onions and garlic, these things are - for me anyway - the biggest cause of my IBS problems.  I have a mild oral allergy, things like citrus fruits, apples and tomatoes make my lips and tongue kind of 'fizz', for want of a better explanation.....this is manageable though, the 'fizzing' effect (and sometimes some mild swelling) only last an hour, it's just slightly uncomfortable rather than debilitating.  The wheat/gluten and onion/garlic though cause me major gut problems.....pain, bloating and the runs, not easy to ignore or live with - having to stay within quick and easy reach of a toilet isn't really conducive to normal daily life!  I also get aching joints and muscles after I've eaten a lot of carby foods - I think that's probably wheat/gluten related as well, and/or due to the high levels of sugars in some carby foods.  My lactose intolerance isn't really that much of a problem.....some people have gut issues with it, I don't, it's a sinus and mucus thing for me, I get sinusitis, a blocked and/or drippy nose and PND (post nasal drip), which makes me cough or do a lot of throat clearing.  This post is all a bit graphic and distasteful, sorry about that!  

I guess I'm just writing things down to remind myself of the effects certain foods have on me, and therefore why I shouldn't eat them if I want to stay healthy.  

Blogger is still being a pain in the bum, so many of the regular blogs I read aren't appearing on my daily blog reading list - including my own!

Nothing much going on, thankfully

I feel like I've had more than enough excitement and stuff going on, could do with a couple of weeks of nothing much!

I did our monthly budget yesterday (bit late but I was distracted by other things earlier in the week), then a freezer inventory, meal plan for 10 days and a small top up shopping list.  I plan on eating out of the freezer for the next couple of weeks, it's quite full and I need to make space for yet more garden veggies.  Tomorrow I have dog food to make, a trayful of courgettes to roast and freeze, and a large panful of tomato, chilli and onion pasta sauce to make, portion up and freeze.  Another carrier bagful of oversized courgettes and cucumbers, along with some more tomatoes, to take to the zoo as well.  

I've suggested husband goes to the barbers tomorrow for a hair and beard cut, he's looking like Santa Claus again.  In a couple of weeks I shall want a haircut too.  I've noticed my hair - and skin come to that - has got much drier as I've got older....another of the joys of ageing.  

Another heatwave forecast this week, it's already just about too hot for Betty and I but will be even hotter for the next few days.  Looks like we've just got to get used to this 'new normal' from now on.

Nothing else to report.

Waiting....

 The few days with husband's bro and sil and their young grandchild went pretty well.  Unfortunately, sil received a phone call on their first day here when we were all out at lunch, giving her some distressing news, which was upsetting.  One thing I will say - although the grandchild (a 6 y.o. girl) was a perfectly nice kid, I'm quite glad we don't have hyperactive young grandchildren who seem to be constantly on the go all day long, are very bouncy and never stop talking!  (It's quite enough having husband to cope with).  They spent one day riding the steam train, just coming to us for supper later on.  And then yesterday they went to Porlock Weir, taking husband with them whilst I stayed home with Betty, who is showing signs of ageing more and more.  That meant husband had quality time with his brother, I knew he was being looked after, and I had a few hours respite at home, so good for all of us.  This morning they're leaving early for home so we said goodbye yesterday evening, after supper at their holiday place.  We shared meal hosting duties, I did no cooking, simply buying buffet type food with a few minor easy additions here.  I even bought scones rather than making them!

It's been lovely to see them and I know they've had a good time, but I do rather hope we don't have any more visitors before our holiday - I need some quiet time to get my head together.  Our next scheduled visitors will be in early November.

Last Monday we had the normal monthly phone call from husband's key worker.  To be frank, I don't really see the point of this phone call, it serves very little purpose from our point of view, even husband says so.  They say it's to support us whilst we're waiting for his appointment for the in-depth testing for dementia.  Well, it's virtually the same conversation every time - the lady, who seems perfectly nice (well, going by her voice, we've never actually met her), starts off by asking "How are you?" in a very slow and earnest manner, as if husband is already deep in the throes of dementia.  Her next question is always "And how's your memory been?" - to which husband always immediately replies "Fine!" whilst I answer "No it isn't!".  Upon which husband laughs and says "I don't know what she's talking about - who are you again?!" in his usual jokey way, which he thinks is hilarious....the key worker always chuckles politely.  Whilst I'm just silently sighing and rolling my eyes.  Two things I wasn't happy about this time - I asked about husband's brain scan results, again - last time the key worker said they'd not had them, they weren't supposed to give them out in any case but she'd try and come up with a way to give us the results, as I'd said we really want to know.  Well, she said this time they definitely won't be letting us know until we attend the testing appointment, it's their policy.  Hmmm.  And on the subject of the appointment - we were first told (by her) that there's a backlog and we won't get the appointment until December.  Now she says it'll be January!  So it almost seems like we're never going to be any nearer this further testing appointment if they keep pushing it back (and thus no nearer receiving the brain scan results, which aren't on his NHS app either, I've checked).  And in the meantime, husband's condition is slowly getting worse, by a little each week, and we're still left in total limbo.  It's no wonder I'm finding it harder and harder to cope.  It's so bloody frustrating.  They referred us to the Alzheimer's society a month ago, but they also have a backlog!

Almost nervous breakdown time

 We'd literally just got back from shopping this morning (a small top up shop) when husband's brother and sister in law phoned to tell us they're coming down for 4 days.  Arriving this coming Wednesday.  And they're bringing a grandchild aged 6, who we've not seen before.  They're not staying with us but at a local caravan park, they are wanting to spend lots of time with us though.  Pity they didn't tell us before we went shopping.....I'll have to go again now.  This is typical of them, they never give us much notice - they even turned up on the doorstep one time last year completely out of the blue, no notice at all.  It's a bit disconcerting I think having surprise visitors, especially if one is left thinking 'oh no, I haven't got anything much to feed them, or enough milk for teas/coffees, or only one teabag left!'.

Husband was talking to them whilst I was putting the shopping away, so I only heard snippets of what he was telling them and he, of course, forgets anything that he's told.  When he came off the phone he did say that he'd told them how to get to the caravan park (they've got satnav but husband does like to give directions)....however, the road he told them to use has actually been closed to traffic for the past couple of years, due to subsidence!  He also told them that we'll meet them for lunch at the farm park near where they're staying on the day they arrive.....the trouble with that is that there are extensive ongoing roadworks on the way there, which we didn't know about and got stuck in when husband's sister and niece were here recently, there were several diversions in place but not clearly signposted and it was absolute chaos.  The roadworks will be ongoing for several weeks yet apparently, so I'm not at all keen to go through that again.  So I've had to message them back to correct what husband told them.

I never get consulted about things like this, I'm just informed about it, and then left to deal with it all and make appropriate plans.  Whilst it is nice to see family - and it's nearly always husband's family - I do find it very tiring, both physically and mentally, it's extra work on top of all the everyday life stuff I have to cope with anyway.  This will be the 5th lot of family visitors we've had so far this year.

To be perfectly honest, I am finding things are getting on top of me lately, especially with the worry of husband's newest health problems.  And all that bloody veg he's kept bringing in armfuls of and simply dumping it all on the kitchen table has added to the irritation - yes it's nice to have free homegrown food when people are starving elsewhere, I do know that.  But I'm the one who has to deal with it all.  Oh, we took 2 carrier bags full to the zoo this morning.

So now I've got 2 days to gather my thoughts, do some food and day out planning, go shopping again and do some extra housework/tidying up.  As well as supervising husband when he's doing his BP readings and making sure he's taking only half the dose of his ACE inhibitor, like the GP said (he's already got it wrong once, yesterday he took the full dose of that and only half the dose of a different tablet, I have to watch him like a hawk).  Well, one of those days is going to be a 'me' day - I'll take the bus into town, go and find a quiet spot on or near the beach (well, relatively quiet, it is holiday time after all) and just sit and people- or wave-watch for a couple of hours.  By myself.

More health worries

 Lovely day today, sunny and pleasantly warm with a nice breeze to dry the washing.  Still no rain - although, actually, we did have a few spots the day before yesterday, and I do mean literally just a few spots over the course of about 20 seconds, and then it was gone again, with no sign that it had happened at all.  Another nice week forecast, at least it's not blisteringly hot although will apparently be very warm tomorrow and Monday.

Having said we had no medical appointments on the calendar for this week or next, a rarity, we did end up having 2 GP appointments - well, husband did, which I obviously accompanied him to.  Just as well I did.  I've noticed husband's losing his balance and stumbling around even more than usual lately, so mentioned it to the GP, who was a locum we've not seen before and therefore knew nothing about husband's medical history.  Despite having it on the screen in front of him, he kept asking husband to elaborate on his conditions and medications, which husband was unable to do so I had to answer for him.  He checked husband's BP which was very low, which I'd guessed was probably the reason for his unsteadiness.  He suggested halving the dose of one of husband's meds, an ACE inhibitor, then doing a week of BP readings at home and taking them in to the surgery, marked for the GP's urgent attention.  I'm always a bit anxious when one of the GPs suggests altering husband's meds - GPs aren't cardiac specialists.  When you have heart failure you're on a lot of medication, which is all prescribed and finely tuned by the cardiologist.  Lowering one of his BP meds could possibly have ramifications for the control of his heart failure, so it's a bit like walking a tightrope.  I shall have to watch husband (even more) closely for the next week or 2, if there are any changes or worries I'll have to ask the GP to discuss things with husband's cardio team, or possibly even refer him back there (he was discharged from cardiology back to the care of the GP over a year ago).  Meanwhile, he's being referred to physio for his back problems, and of course we're still awaiting the results of his brain scan and the further in-depth tests appointment for the possible dementia.  If it's not one thing it's another.

My worry about husband's balance issues is that he'll end up hurting one of us - he's always stumbling and knocking into the dog, or a doorway or chair, or me - he's almost sent me flying a couple of times, if I hadn't grabbed the doorframe or table for support I'd have been on the floor.  Neither of us wants broken bones at our ages.  I have suggested that he think about using a cane or even a walking frame, but he absolutely won't hear of it.  Totally stubborn as always, he just won't be told.  Well if I end up on the floor with a broken hip or collarbone, and thus obviously unable to do anything around the house for a few weeks, then he'll only have himself to blame.

Podding the last of the overgrown French beans took ages, they're nowhere near as easy to pod as peas, in fact my fingers were sore after an hour.  Still, it yielded a small panful of beans, half of which looked like flageolets, the older ones more like haricot beans.  I boiled them up, cooled and then froze them, enough for about 5 or 6 meals altogether, so worth doing I suppose.  I shall be roasting another trayful of courgettes tomorrow, making another panful of tomato pasta sauce and boiling or roasting a load of beetroots.  Still a load of carrots in one of the raised beds but at least they don't have to be pulled all at once, just when we need them.  We have tons of little yellow cherry toms, which aren't all that tasty to be honest.  There's also still 4 or 5 bags of potatoes to be harvested.  We've got probably a couple of dozen mini (torpedoes!) cucumbers and a couple of courgettes that were hiding and are now marrows - neither of us is very keen on marrow - so will be taking a bagful of produce to the zoo tomorrow.

I've finished the first sleeve of my cardi and have just started on the second one, it's easier to crochet now that the weather's not so blisteringly hot.

Getting inventive with veg, and I'm not a (verbal) punchbag

 I realised this morning I've done hardly any cooking for weeks now, mainly due to the hot weather, all I do is prepare and serve cold stuff mainly, with maybe a jacket spud or a fish fillet of some kind.  What cooking I have done has been pretty basic....ok I did make scones and an apple cake whilst our guests were here, but that's about all.  For meals I did a prawn salad with homegrown potatoes and salad veggies one day, a bought pizza (which I added some extra toppings to), bought oven chips and more salad another day.  Most of our meals have been salads since we've had all this hot weather, I really don't feel like cooking - who does?!  And now I've more or less got out of the habit of cooking.....it'll come as a bit of a shock when autumn and cold weather arrives and I've got to start making hot dinners again.

Our French beans are finally going over, the plants are going yellow and there are quite a lot of (overgrown) huge beans with very wrinkly pods.  We were going to just pull them all up and chuck them in the compost bin, but I thought it seemed a waste to get rid of the actual beans, even if the pods aren't edible now.  It occurred to me that the beans inside the pods should be perfectly edible, so that's what I'll be doing tomorrow - shelling the remaining beans then boiling and freezing them, we should get at least a couple of meals worth.

I was chatting to our neighbour earlier, she said exactly the same thing as me - she's telling her other half not to grow so much produce next year, it's all far too much for just 2 people, same as I've been telling husband.  It's all very well them growing tons and tons of stuff, but when they keep picking armfuls of it all and simply dumping it on the kitchen table, us wives groan and think 'oh no, not again!'.  We were both laughing and saying that being presented with 10 so-called 'mini' cucumbers that are the size of small rugby balls all at once is no joke - it's not like we can cook and freeze them (no I don't like cucumber soup).  I told her about the local little zoo accepting bags of surplus veggies, she hadn't realised they did that and thought it a brilliant idea.  Like me, she said her freezer is now full of prepped garden veggies, to the point where there's no more room.  She's also made several jars of chutneys but said she's still got some left from last year.  We're now getting loads of tomatoes, which I don't really mind as I do like them roasted, drizzled with olive oil and thick syrupy balsamic vinegar on sourdough toast, makes a lovely lunch with some mozzarella.  I must have a sort out of the freezer tomorrow, I think I can probably make enough room for another few tubs of tomato pasta sauce or soup.

Husband's sister messaged me earlier, she's now got herself an electric mobility scooter as her daughter, who's a slim dainty little thing, was finding it hard to push her wheelchair.  She's also had a discussion with her cancer nurse, who is arranging for her to have another scan to see whether her lung cancer has progressed, before going over treatment options once more.

Husband seems to be getting more and more bad tempered just lately, he's bitten my head off several times the past few days.  I know he's got backache (so have I!!!) and he's not good with pain, but I've told him he can't keep taking it out on me.  He just scowled and muttered under his breath.  I've needed the patience of a saint this week - and I'm no saint!

Brainwave!

 It's back to being hot and sticky again, I really don't like it, it's the humidity that gets to me, it drains me and I feel like a soggy mess.

Nevertheless it's been a productive day, I've now got several bags of French beans, sliced roasted courgettes and courgette fritters in the freezer, along with a couple of tubs of tomato based pasta sauce.  Husband said he'd picked all the mini cucumbers.....well I spotted a large one he'd missed and when I had a proper look, found several more that were like torpedoes.  How he misses them I don't know, especially when they're so big - well, I do know, if something isn't right in front of his nose he just can't see it, it seems beyond him to move leaves out of the way!  The big fat ones have tough skins and are crammed full of seeds, no good for eating.  We've had a brainwave, don't know why we didn't think of it before - the local small family run zoo, Tropiquaria, will happily accept donations of fruit and veg for their animals, so that's what we'll do with our excess produce now.  At Christmas when the supermarkets are doing their very cheap veg wars, we generally buy a couple of bagfuls of them to take to the zoo.  So the problem is now solved.

I've also finished the second front of the cardigan and started on the first sleeve, if I try and do half a dozen rows every day it shouldn't take me long to finish both sleeves.  I'll crochet all the parts together, then do the cuffs and edgings in a contrasting colour - the main body is navy, with white for the edges and cuffs.

Tomorrow we're going to Aldi for our monthly top up shop of the things I like to get there, like my barista oat milk which is cheaper there than our local supermarkets, I buy at least a month's worth at a time (it's long life milk).  We also want to go to Home Bargains, there isn't one here in Minehead, and I'll pop into the big charity shop to get some more books.  As I've said before, their books are 2 for £1, far cheaper than our local charity shops in Minehead - they generally charge £1.50 or £2 each for books.

Veg (again), people dying and bad tempers

 After spending nearly 2 hours yesterday doing veg prep, my back and shoulder were killing me - the pain from my shoulder was shooting down my arm to my elbow and up into my neck and the arm was so weak I could barely lift it.  A couple of cocodamol and a cold compress on my shoulder for half an hour made the pain ease off though.  Still 6 weeks to go before I get my cortisone injection.  This morning my cleaner Hayley was here so I kept occupied and out of her way by staying in the kitchen doing yet more veg prep - blanching French beans (another 3 bags full frozen) and making pasta sauce for tonight's dinner.  I've used home grown tomatoes, courgettes and shallots, flavoured with a fresh chilli (husband's sister brought us 2 chilli plants) and some balsamic vinegar.  Sam, thank you for reminding me I can freeze tomatoes raw for making sauces and soups, I'd forgotten about that.....even though I did it last year.  I've told husband not to bring in any more veg for a couple of days, I'm sick of the sight of it at the moment! 😂  I gave some French beans to a neighbour this morning, and some more courgettes to my cleaner, who insists she loves them.

I see the birder and comedian Bill Oddie has died, sadly - famous people seem to be dropping like flies this year.  I suppose lots of the famous people who we grew up watching on the TV are now - well - old, so they're bound to be coming to the end of their lives.

Husband is being very crotchety, argumentative, confrontational and downright horrible lately....maybe he's been affected by his sister's visit and seeing her very obviously going downhill, I don't know.  Or it's just how he is now!  I keep biting my tongue and walking away, but must admit it's taking the shine off our holiday coming in September, I do hope he's not going to be a pain in the backside the whole week we're away.  My sister reckons I should be extra-nice to him - "Kill him with kindness" in her words - she means smothering him with love and nice gestures of course, not overfeeding him with cake 😜😁.  I don't know whether I could sustain that though, that's more her style than mine, she's a much nicer person than me!  Incidentally, she calls him Mr Grumpypants!

I must get on with my crocheting tomorrow, I've sort of let it fall by the wayside recently.....it's a cardigan to take away with me on holiday.  I've done the back, one front and am more than halfway through the other front, so the sleeves, cuffs and edging to do....and sewing it up of course.

An excess of everything

 At the moment it's all about veg preparation.  Today I'm roasting a couple of trays of home grown root veggies, one lot will be eaten for dinner today and cold for lunch tomorrow, the other trayload will be frozen.  Tomorrow I'll be blanching and freezing a mountain of French beans, and making a panful of pasta sauce to freeze, using the tomatoes which are now ripening by the dozen, plus some of the glut of shallots, and of course the ever-present courgettes.  We eat courgettes in some form or another several times a week - either grated in a frittata, fried or roasted or made into fritters, I also roast and freeze a trayful at a time for soups later in the year.  I have to keep on top of it all and deal with some every day, otherwise it just gets overwhelming.  I know it's very much a first world problem and I am grateful to have the 'problem' of too much veg, but it is a lot of work.  Years ago I used to make jams and chutneys (we've always grown veg and fruit) but don't nowadays as we rarely eat them anymore, with us both being diabetic.  We've also now got a glut of mini cucumbers, some of which aren't mini as husband always misses a few when he's gone out to pick them.  Luckily, I do like fresh home grown cucumber grated or finely chopped and mixed with Greek yogurt and mint as a dip for veg sticks, or sliced on sourdough spread with Philly cheese and lots of black pepper.  

The trouble is, husband ALWAYS grows too much of everything - each year at the start of the sowing season we discuss what we're going to grow and I tell him how many of each veg plant I'd like to have.  Somehow he never takes much notice (which is typical of him) and grows at least double quantities of everything - his rationale is that some of them might not germinate so he always sows spares.  The problem is that nearly everything germinates, so he ends up with loads of seedlings.....instead of giving some away or even dumping the excess in the compost, he plants them all.  And then we have far too many.  E.g. the mini cues....I said I wanted just 2 plants, knowing how well they grow here - we have 6, and they're all producing loads of fruits.  The French beans are another prime example, he said there are about 10 plants (which would have been just right for us).....erm no, there are more than 2 dozen, it's no wonder we're inundated with them.  I've said that next year he either cuts down drastically - by at least half - on the amount of stuff he grows, or else he can't grow anything at all.  It's lovely to have home grown veg, but it's just so much extra work for me dealing with it all.  It's like everything husband does, and I know it's a feature of his cognitive impairment, he does everything to excess.

Husband's going through one of his very OTT obsessive phases again - he's back to checking our electricity meter (we haven't got a smart meter) nearly every day, working out exactly how much we've used and telling me constantly.  As we've got solar panels and have had so much sun every day for weeks now, we're hardly using any leccy....but husband thinks we must be as we have the fans on so much.  Oh and he's constantly switching the fans off if we leave the rooms for 5 minutes, which is blimmin annoying.  Oddly enough, he rarely switches the TV off!  He's switching all the kitchen appliances off at the sockets, which again is annoying as I have to keep switching them back on again.

It's so much cooler today, thank goodness - we haven't even had to switch the fans on yet, which will delight husband!  Our local forecast on my app yesterday said there was a chance of showers in the early hours of this morning......erm nope, the ground and flower beds are as dry as a bone still, and no water in the couple of garden trugs left outside.  This morning is the first time in weeks I haven't felt like I'm in a permanent state of hot flushes and night sweats - even though I'm well past the menopause.  Although, having said that, my mum always used to say she was still getting the odd hot flush and particularly night sweats well into her 70s.  Something to look forward to!

A restful day after the 'busyness' of the last few days

 So it's quite a bit cooler today, thankfully - still sunny and warm, with a few clouds and a nice breeze blowing to keep the temperature comfortable.  I gather the weather people are predicting yet another heatwave end of July/beginning of August, blimey, is this still England we're living in?  We've just had to order a new fan for the lounge, Betty was playing with a ball a couple of days ago and knocked the fan over, breaking it.  Husband shouted at her, but I reminded him it was just an accident and I don't shout at him every time he breaks something!  Betty frightened herself anyway when she knocked it over, she bolted to my side for reassurance.  It's due to be delivered today - we had quite a job finding one on the internet, so many are sold out (I wonder why?!).

We didn't do much on Thursday after SiL and niece went home, just rested.  Yesterday we did a big shop, went to the garden centre to buy a couple of hydrangeas, and took Betty to the vet to be weighed - new regulations state that she's got to be weighed before getting her twice-yearly doses of flea and tick meds.  £108 for six tablets, one a month - having pets is not for the faint hearted nowadays.  Thank goodness for our National Health!

Husband's got a bad back again, so have I actually but clearly not as bad as his, going on the amount of moaning and groaning he's doing 😉.  I guess I'm just more used to it as I've had a bad back ever since I had a prolapsed disc overstretching when playing tennis when I was 19.  I am absolutely shattered today, as a result of the relatives being here - a combination of doing more housework and cooking, being out and about sightseeing and lots and LOTS of talking.  It seems totally daft to say that talking wears me out but somehow it does - even though husband talks a lot when it's just us here (when he's not dozing in front of the TV) but he doesn't always require an answer.....or even me to listen to him, actually!   At least he's quieter today, apart from his theatrical groans every time he gets up out of his chair.  Whilst his sister and niece were here - well, when anyone's here actually - he never stops talking, he's a born performer and loves to be the centre of attention.  He did lose the thread of what he was saying, contradicted himself a few times and repeated himself a lot - all his normal cognitive impairment stuff, SiL and niece did notice that.  He also nodded off at one point in the middle of a conversation, prompting his sister to say "Are we boring you mate?" 😂

SiL is currently not on any medication at all for her lung cancer, although she said she's getting a sharp pain in her back now so will discuss pain relief along with chemo and/or radiotherapy treatment with her cancer nurse next week.  I hope she will accept something to help her.  Her daughter told me she is finding it very difficult to accept her mum's refusal to have any treatment thus far, but says she just has to go along with it.  I do feel so sorry for her.

Lots of reminiscing and lots of veg (too much!)

 It is lovely seeing SiL and niece, out of all husband's many siblings (he's one of 10) P is probably the one I have always got on best with.  It's certainly very bittersweet though - P is 18 months younger than my husband but now looks about 10 years older because of her illness, she's also extremely breathless and gets exhausted walking just a few paces, they've brought her wheelchair.  She's very down to earth and practical, she says she doesn't want anyone getting upset in front of her, in her own words she's had her life and is happy to meet her maker.  Her daughter E, however, is devastated - SiL had 3 children, 2 girls and a boy, E being the youngest - the eldest daughter and son both died in tragic circumstances (separately) as young adults.  Understandably, E is heartbroken at the thought of now losing her mother so soon, even earlier since SiL has thus far been refusing treatment.  However, due to E being so upset, SiL has now agreed to go over the treatment options again with her Macmillan nurse when they get back home - she's not promising to have treatment but will give it some more thought.  At the end of the day, it's her body and her decision, of course, but I for one do feel she should really take her daughter's feelings into account.

They've gone on the steam train this morning for a little jaunt out, so we've got time by ourselves before they come to join us this afternoon.  We had fish and chips on the seafront on Monday evening, lunch out yesterday, then a drive round to show them the sights before coming back to ours for dinner.  We've sat in the (wonderfully peaceful!) garden a few times, lots of reminiscing and laughter.  I'm doing a light dinner again this evening (P doesn't eat much now) and then they're coming to us for coffee and cake (I've just made an apple and cinnamon cake) tomorrow morning before they go home.

We're hoping they'll take some home grown veggies with them tomorrow, we are now inundated with veg:-

These French beans are just this morning's pickings which husband brought in and dumped on the table, he's been bringing in similar amounts every other day.  I have blanched and frozen a lot and he's given some away to neighbours, but it's getting to the stage where I am heartily sick of the sight of so much veg - and mostly the work involved in dealing with them.  He's also brought in around a dozen mini cucumbers......although some of them definitely aren't mini, they're more like very fat large courgettes.  Plus of course a ton of courgettes, we get several of them every day.  Next year I am putting my foot down about the amount of veg he grows - it's ridiculous, there's only the two of us and he grows enough to feed a small army - all well and good but I'm the one who has to deal with it all.  Some of our neighbours grow their own as well (our next door neighbours have an allotment and are themselves overrun with veg and keep trying to foist some on us!), so they don't always want much.  Now he's informed me there are dozens of beetroot and loads and loads of carrots ready to come in.  I'll be buried under a hillock of veg at this rate.  I know I shouldn't complain, I'm grateful to have a surplus of fresh food.....but I have enough to do as it is, without the added pressure of a ton of veg that needs dealing with pretty quickly before it goes off in this heat.

It is what it is

 There are times when I wish things could be different, that our lives could be different.  But they're not, it is what it is and wishing doesn't get us anywhere, so I just have to yank my big girl's pants up and get on with things.  Bearing in mind that the majority of our visitors (and we've had quite a lot in the 2.5 years we've lived here) are husband's relatives, not mine, it would be nice if he helped more with the planning, preparation and work.  But he doesn't, he does very little unless I specifically ask him to, and then I have to be very precise about exactly what I want him to do.  So I'm pretty much worn out and stressed by the time the visitors arrive, and this happens every time.  And now, this morning, he's thrown a curve ball and wants to change the plans I'd made.... having asked him last week what he'd like to do and him having shrugged and said he didn't mind, so leaving it all up to me in other words, as is usual.  Sometimes I would just love it if someone else took charge for a change.  Dream on girl, that's never gonna happen.

I feel a bit tearful this morning actually, it's going to be bittersweet seeing husband's sister and niece, with the knowledge that we probably won't see them again after this.  And it makes me sad that I'm not able to see more of my family.

As SiL continues to smoke, despite her lung cancer, we'll be sitting in the garden a lot, so it's a blessing that it's cooler now but still dry and warm.

Making memories for husband's terminally ill sister

 It's definitely cooler today, thank goodness, I don't think I could have stood even one more day of that heat.  I had a terrible night, worst one for ages, it was hot and humid and I was in so much pain with my shoulders and neck, had to take more painkillers in the middle of the night which is practically unheard of for me.  It's my own fault - I've been doing quite a bit of crocheting recently, although have only been able to do a couple of rows at a time before my hands get all hot and sweaty, even with my bedroom fan on.  I've done the back of the cardigan for me and had done about 2/3 of one of the fronts, I really wanted to get that finished before bedtime last night so kept going on it until I'd completed it.  I guess there was a bit of tension in my shoulders too as I was desperate to finish it, which didn't help my painful shoulder.  I certainly paid the price last night, my shoulders were absolute agony, no position was comfortable.  I got up and sat in my recliner chair for an hour, which wasn't that comfortable either (it's still too firm, hasn't softened up yet), then went in the lounge and sat in husband's new recliner - much softer.  Went back to bed around 3.30 am and finally got off to sleep.  I think I'll give crocheting a miss for a day or two, my shoulders need a rest.

We now have a brand new shower, thanks to the plumber yesterday who was very nice and helpful, it's got a bigger shower head than our previous one.  This morning, just before I got in the shower, husband proceeded to give me a tutorial on how to use it - as if I didn't know!  This new one is less complicated than the old one (which wasn't really complicated anyway), I think even a child could do it without help.  I just gritted my teeth then said "Thank you dear".  It was absolutely fine, no problems.

I've done a new menu plan and written a little shopping list for Monday morning, husband's sister and niece should be arriving mid afternoon.  I'll make scones in the morning for us to have when they arrive.  I'm planning on a quiche and salad for dinner.....if SiL is too tired to stay with us for the evening (as she may well be, it's a 3.5 hour journey and even though she's not driving, it'll probably tire her out), then I could pack up some quiche and salad in a cool bag for them to take back to their hotel room.

She likes going to cafes and tea rooms, so that's the plan for Tuesday and Wednesday - lunches in two of our favourite tea rooms, where P can have just coffee and cake if that's all she wants.  Picky bits buffets back at our place in the evening, so P doesn't feel pressurised to eat a full dinner (and I don't have to cook one!).  If she's up to it, we'll take her for short drives up on Exmoor and to the seafront, so she can sit in the car and enjoy the scenery.  We'd both like to make this short break a happy memorable one for her if we can, we'll take things at her pace and do whatever she wants.

Bring back winter 😉😜

 Our local weather app says it's currently 22 deg here, feeling like 23.  Well, I've just been putting the washing out in our sun trap of a garden and I would say it's at least 30, there's no breeze to mitigate it.  I'm so done with this heat now.

Husband spoke to his sister yesterday, he said she was so breathless she sounded like an old man who'd smoked 50 a day all his life.  So we won't be doing much, if any, walking whilst they're here.  She also said she's not got much of an appetite and eats mostly sweet things, so I'm rethinking my menu plans.  Although she's apparently been given a prognosis of 5 years - with treatment, which she's refusing to have - it doesn't sound like she'll last anywhere near that long, sadly.  Life's a bitch at times, isn't it?  😔

Just had a phone call from our landlord's plumber, he says he's got a cancellation this morning so can come to fix our shower - thank goodness.  It keeps switching itself off more and more the past few days, and we really need a working shower in this weather!

Happy Introvert, it's the same here, work isn't supposed to start until 8 am, but the builders next door have flouted that on numerous occasions.  And no I'm not going to report it.  As I've said several times before, it's not like it wakes us up, we're very early risers anyway, and I just think the earlier they start, hopefully the earlier they'll finish.  And it won't be going on forever, there will be an end to it and then peace will (hopefully) reign again once more.  I know I moan about the noise on here sometimes, but that's just my way of getting it off my chest.  No noise today, still no new builders appointed by the looks of things.

Nothing much being done today, the heat is draining me.

Very noisy again after the peace of the past fortnight

 Husband's chair is very comfortable, I can tell it would be lovely for a snooze when reclined.  My chair, whilst it's lovely to look at and makes me smile, isn't as immediately comfortable, it's currently quite firm - the leaflet that came with it said it will soften up after a week or two of sitting.....good excuse to sit in it more then!  The arms on my old recliner chair seemed quite high, making it feel like my shoulders were up around my ears, which wasn't very comfortable, particularly when I was crocheting.  The arms on the new one, however, are a bit lower and feel like they keep my arms in a more natural position.  I reclined it yesterday for half an hour, it's certainly comfy to relax in.

The lorry turned up next door at 06.45 this morning, to take away the latest small mountain of rubble that had accumulated before the builders were sacked.  They held off for 15 mins before they started work, although were stood outside my bedroom window with Mr X all having a loud and laughing conversation (why do men always seem to shout and hoot with laughter, do we all need to hear them?!).  Good job I was up and about!  They're still working the grabber thing putting loads of rubble into the lorry, very noisy.  We've not seen Mr X to talk to recently so have no idea if he's engaged another firm of builders yet, there's certainly no work been done on the barn for the past fortnight, which has meant it's been blissfully peaceful.

Husband's sister and niece arrive on Monday, to stay in the Premier Inn for 4 days, so I need to get organised.  They'll be having breakfast at the hotel, we'll be having lunch out every day and I'll be providing the evening meal....as it's still going to be hot, I'll be doing something with salad every day, probably a frittata one day, maybe pizza or jacket spud with prawns another day.  Husband suggested we have fish and chips on the beach one day too - great idea.  I'll make some scones so we can have a cream tea on Monday when they arrive.

Off out to the tip this morning, then for a quick browse in town, getting home before lunch so we don't have to be out in the heat of the afternoon.

Chairs

 Our chairs came this morning, a day early.  Very pleased with both of them:-

Mine 🥰

And husband's.

He says he can sleep for hours in his chair, I said "You already do dear" 😂😂

The chairs, and a diagnosis/treatment

 Come Sunday, husband was backtracking over his offer to buy me the recliner chair - he's still ordering one for himself, but said he'd rather wait till the end of the year to get one for me.  The thought of spending so much money in one go was making him break out in a cold sweat....daft, it's not like he can't afford it - he certainly can.  I said I'd rather not wait till then and there wasn't any good reason why he couldn't get it now, but said if it made him feel better I was willing to pay some money towards it.  He rapidly agreed, I transferred the money to his account and offered to place the order for him.  Both chairs are ordered and will be delivered on Thursday 😁

Yesterday morning was lovely, still sunny and warm but with a brisk cooling breeze, so it felt nice and fresh and just pleasantly warm rather than blisteringly hot and humid.  The breeze dropped a bit in the afternoon though so it was back to being hot, and then by the evening it was sticky and humid again.  Hayley, my cleaner, made me laugh - she said she'd stayed up to watch the England match in the early hours of the morning the other night....not because she likes football, but because it was so hot she couldn't bear the thought of going upstairs to try and sleep in her sauna of a bedroom!  😂  How anyone can play sports in boiling hot weather I don't know.

The shower stopped a couple of times whilst husband was showering a couple of days ago - and no it wasn't me turning taps on, there was no other water running.  It's also stopped again whilst I've been showering, but this morning it was fine, so it seems like it's actually an intermittent fault.  I've reported it to the repairs team, they texted with an appointment for a plumber to come.....on the 10th August.  So I guess we'll just have to put up with it until then - bit of a first world problem though, I'm very glad we are privileged enough to have a shower!

I went to physio this morning to get the results of my shoulder x-ray.  It shows I have OA in my collarbone, and something called calcific tendonitis in the same shoulder.  Not heard of it before, but Daisy the physiotherapist said that it's one of the most painful shoulder conditions.....erm yes!  She's recommended steroid injections, the first of which I'll have in 6 weeks time.  Apparently, the condition should eventually clear up by itself, the injections should help with the pain - according to Daisy, the calcific deposits break down and are reabsorbed into the body, which can be even more painful (nice to know!).  In the meantime she's recommended regular cold compresses on my shoulder, 2 or 3 times a day, which she said should help reduce the inflammation.  I'm pleased I've finally got a proper diagnosis and some treatment lined up.

A beetroot football

 Yesterday afternoon turned out to be just as hot as the preceding days, Betty and I were both limp rags.  I don't know about you, but this weather just tires me out so much, even though I'm not doing anything strenuous - or anything much at all, to be honest.  I guess it's also a case of being tired during the day because I'm not sleeping well, both Betty and I are restless and uncomfortable during the night, due to the heat.  It is a bit cooler this morning, due to there being more of a breeze - it felt so lovely first thing when I went round opening all the windows wider - I've kept them open a little the past few nights.  I don't much like having windows open at night in a bungalow, although I'm quite sure Betty would raise the alarm if anyone tried to get in.  

I've just checked the forecast for the coming week - temperatures here are still forecast to be in the 30s until Friday, when it drops(!!) to 27.  I'll be a dripping wreck by then.

I asked husband this morning to get some veg in - I actually ask him at least every other day, I specifically told him this year I do not want marrows so he'd better make sure he picks the courgettes before they get to that size, which he has done, apart from a couple that he'd missed and were on their way to being marrow sized.  We've had several bags of new potatoes, which are lovely - husband complains because they're not jacket potato sized....well they're not supposed to be, they're first and second earlies and are just the right size for boiled new potatoes or potato salads.  We've also had a few carrots - again small sized but that's fine by me, and one picking of beetroot, enough for 2 meals for us both.  He's been saying up to yesterday that our French beans weren't ready - well I had a quick look yesterday and saw loads of a perfect size for eating now.  The trouble is, he sows so many seeds and so thickly that everything grows all clumped together in massed bushes, so he can't see much because he doesn't look past the end of his nose - if something isn't right in front of his face, he can't see it.  This morning he brought in a bowlful of new potatoes, half a dozen small carrots and 4 golf ball sized beets, I suggested he go and look for more carrots and beets.  He's just come back in with another half dozen carrots....and the most ginormous beetroot, small football sized, and he says there are more that size!  Oh and he also, having looked properly, came in with a bowlful of French beans, enough for about 6 meals for the two of us.  Oh and about a dozen courgettes.  I intend to roast a large trayful of the root veggies, some for dinner this evening and more to have cold as salads for the next few days.

I should mention that the reason husband remembered which recliner chair I'd said I liked is because it's a very distinctive colour and pattern:-

This isn't quite the same as the one we saw in the shop a couple of years ago, but it's very similar, my bedroom has purple coloured furnishings, a plain grey carpet and cream walls, so it will be a lovely splash of colour.  Husband's also intending to order one for himself - in plain grey, I might add!  

My cleaner comes tomorrow, I've got physio on Tuesday when I should find out the results of the shoulder x-ray I had, which will be interesting.  Then on Wednesday we'll be going to collect our new glasses.....I don't think there's any danger of husband blurting out anything else embarrassing - but one never knows with him!

A bit cooler thank goodness, and a surprise

 Thankfully it's a couple of degrees cooler today - still too hot though, especially for Betty and I.  She's been moping around, moving from place to place indoors to find a cooler spot, for the past few days.  We have the fans going, windows and door open, curtains closed, we renew her cold water every couple of hours, we put her cold mat in the fridge a couple of times a day.  She sleeps a lot.  She had a sudden burst of energy this morning, woofing and throwing her toys around, it only lasted a couple of minutes though.  Bless her, it must be awful wearing a thick fur coat.  She's now asleep on my bed.

When husband has done something he knows is out of order or has upset me, he broods about it for a few days.  He doesn't apologise, that's not his way, he almost never says sorry for anything.  What he does do though is try to make amends by buying me something or offering to take me out somewhere, for a meal usually - although he only ever suggests Wetherspoons or Brewers Fayre, neither of which I like very much.  I'd rather go to a tea room, or a smart cafe with a nice view....after 45 years together you'd think he would know that 😂😒.  I know it's a gesture on his part to show he's sorry, but there's really no need to go to those lengths - I'd rather he just apologised, I have told him that in the past.

Anyhow, he's clearly been thinking about me telling him the other day that his so-called joke at the opticians could have had serious consequences, and has realised he was silly to say it - not only was it a stupid thing to say, it was also very hurtful as it's simply not true.  So this morning he's offered to buy me a new recliner chair for my bedroom!  The one I have was bought secondhand, I'm not too keen on the colour or style (it's a bit old-fashioned for my taste), it's a manual recliner and the mechanism is extremely stiff, I find it very difficult to push it into the reclining position.  Husband showed me a picture of one on the internet - amazingly (because we have very different tastes) it's just lovely and is exactly what I would choose for myself - we did actually see the same one in a furniture shop a couple of years ago and husband, somewhat surprisingly given his memory problems, has clearly remembered me saying I really liked it.  So I've accepted with grateful thanks.

We're not going to the big boot sale this afternoon, even though it's a bit cooler it's still too hot, not going to the village fete this morning either, for the same reason.

It's not easy

 I tried gently explaining to husband yesterday that his actions could have consequences - I know he's joking when he says things, but people who don't know us have no idea whether he's joking or serious.  He did his usual childish response of blowing a raspberry at me, sneering and walked out of the room before I'd even finished speaking.  I'm finding it quite difficult to cope with the problems he throws up at the moment, and it will only get worse.  It's even more difficult right now because we're stuck inside due to the heat, it's too hot to sit outside in our (now peaceful!) garden and we don't want to go out anywhere in the car unless it's absolutely necessary.  It's hot from the get go this morning, already 25 deg with no wind.

I'm a bit worried about our week's holiday....a week is a long time to spend in an unfamiliar place with someone who has challenging behaviour.  I need a break and a change of scenery though.  I'll just have to grit my teeth and do my utmost to avoid confrontations, going out for a walk if I need some alone time.  I'll take a couple of books and some crochet to keep me occupied, husband will have the TV and I'll get him a few DVDs to take with us.  I'll be doing minimal cooking, just quick easy meals.

Our garden is suffering, husband is (quite rightly) concentrating on keeping the growing veggies watered, lots of the flowering plants are looking scorched and droopy and aren't flowering like they should be.  Ah well, hopefully they'll recover when the weather gets a bit cooler.  

A joke is only a joke when it's funny!

 We both need new glasses, following our eye tests yesterday.  Husband's 2 pairs only cost £30!  He's lucky in that virtually any kind of frames suit his face.....also he doesn't really care what they look like so it doesn't matter to him.  I'm definitely more fussy, some frames just don't suit my face shape, I'm not very keen on metal frames, the colour of the frames matters to me as well as frame shape and size - I'm of the view that I have to like my glasses, or I simply won't wear them.  So mine were £220 - but that's for 4 pairs (buy one get one free), 2 each of distance and close vision - I don't get on at all with bi- or varifocals.  So I actually think the price is quite reasonable.

When we came out of there, husband accused me of having zero sense of humour anymore - he's said that a few times now.  I guess the reason I rarely laugh at his 'jokes' anymore is partly because I've heard them all before, a thousand times, and after the 950th time the novelty wears off.  But nowadays quite often his so-called humour is anything but, frequently it's downright inappropriate or just plain silly.  An example - I went in for my eye test first, on my own......I stayed in the room for husband's tests though, as he sometimes needs help with answering questions.....e.g. the optician asked him how long he's had diabetic background retinopathy, husband said airily "oh years and years".  Erm no, he was first told about it just 2 years ago.  He also couldn't remember the name of the newest medication he's been prescribed, nor what it was for.  Anyway, husband has a couple of small fingertip sized bruises on his forearm, they look something like blood blisters under his skin, the optician commented on them.  Straight away husband replied, gesturing to me, "She did that, she's always hitting me!".  The optician immediately turned to me, with a querying look on his face....."He's kidding, they're caused by his heart meds" I said.  "Ah ok, that's more likely!" he replied with a smile.  I just glared at husband.  Sometimes I wish his mouth came with a zip.

He's gone on the free shoppers bus to Bridgwater again today, his choice.  Once again I get to enjoy the peace....on the subject of which, it's really noticeable just how peaceful it is around here again, now that the builders are no longer here.  We've not seen neighbour Mr X for a couple of days, so no idea whether he's looking around for more builders.  It would be a shame if the old barn, which is now in a partly demolished and sorry looking state, is just left to go to rack and ruin, it was actually a fine looking old building before they started mucking about with it.

Nothing planned for the next few days, just keeping out of the sun, windows wide open and curtains closed on the sunny sides, plenty of cold drinks, the fans going and salads for dinner.  Betty mostly sleeps in the hot weather - on my bed or on her cool mat in the lounge, only briefly going in the garden for a wee.  She gets a brief walk early in the morning and again mid evening....at her age she's not really a fan of long walks now anyway.

Well that's nice

 So now we know.  Neighbour Mr X told husband yesterday he's sacked his builders, he was very annoyed with the lack of progress, carelessness and unprofessionalism.  He's said he will be looking for new builders but will leave the work as it is for a while, to give himself a break and time to work out what he wants to do next.  So it looks like we'll be having a peaceful few weeks after all, which will be nice.  We'll be able to sit in and enjoy our garden, imagine that! 😁.  Although I won't be doing much sitting out there for the next few days, it'll be too blimmin hot 😂

Peace, ranting, then more peace and nature

 Yesterday was the quietest Monday we've had in ages, hardly any movement around here all day and no builders next door.  No builders again today, for the 4th day in a row (they've generally been working Saturday mornings as well as Mon-Fri up till now).  So it looks as if either neighbour Mr X has dispensed with their services, or they've refused to carry on with the job....possibly, we don't know.  It'll be interesting to see what happens tomorrow, Mr X and his brother generally have Wednesdays off work so they can do labouring work for the builders.  If the builders aren't coming back, I wonder what will happen now?  Will the project be abandoned, or will Mr X try to get another firm of builders in at short notice?

Problem relative was ranting (and I do mean ranting) early this morning on our WhatsApp group about some load of conspiracy theory nonsense, when I read his first words of "You all need to hear this...." I thought - well, no we don't actually, and muted him.  I've just unmuted him and he's still going off on one so back to mute it is.  The problem is, he lives alone, is agoraphobic, paranoid and lives his life scouring the internet all the time, virtually 24/7.  He refuses all offers of help and has been extremely rude to mental health and social care workers in the past, so is his own worst enemy.  We've had several months of relative calm and quiet from him, so a blow up was bound to be imminent.  It'll pass over soon enough I expect, it usually does.

Meanwhile, we had a drive out this morning to another tea room we hadn't visited before, in a little village which has a pretty river running through it:-

Shallow but very clear, with a lovely old stone bridge across.  The journey there was longer than we thought it might be, took about 40 mins on narrow twisty roads in places, and quite steep in some areas so our poor old car was struggling a bit.  It was worth it though, we sat outside the tea room on benches with sunshades (welcome as the sun was very strong).  I had a (very naughty) slice of rum, raisin and pineapple cake which was delicious.  I was a bit disappointed with my latte - the taste was fine, the trouble was it was at least 50% froth so not much actual coffee to drink.  It was nice sitting on a bench watching the river flow though, with some grey wagtails bobbing up and down.  We might go there again if we're in the area for some reason, but probably wouldn't make a special trip to go back.

Eye tests for both of us tomorrow, nothing else planned for this week, thankfully as it's getting very hot again.

Peaceful Monday

 Well, this morning there are no builders next door, of course they may have taken the day off or be coming in later, due to watching the football last night.  Or they may have resigned following the almighty great row the other day!!  Whatever, we're enjoying the peace.

Actually, it's a lot quieter generally around here this morning - not that there's normally much noise anyway, apart from the building work.  There's less traffic and people, seems like most people here stayed up to watch England win - everyone except us 😂

I'll be glad of some respite from sport for a while, husband was watching some sport or other pretty much all day yesterday.  Each to their own of course, but it bores me rigid.

Since cutting back drastically on carbs over the past week, I'm pleased to say this morning that I've lost the few pounds I'd put on through eating too many carbs.  I'm making a seeded GF soda bread today, but will slice and freeze it when cool, my intention is to have just one slice perhaps every other day.  Hot weather again all this coming week, so back to salads most days.  We had a roast dinner yesterday, including our first home grown beetroot and carrots, along with the (ever present) courgettes, I roasted all the veggies.  Whilst it all tasted very nice, I wasn't really that hungry because of the warm weather so left some of mine - husband finished it off.  When it's hot weather, I prefer roasted veggies cold with mayo or a lemony herb dressing, with a sprinkle of grated cheese - favourite hot weather dinner meal for me.  I also like a wedge of room temperature tortilla with salad.

We had a nice morning yesterday, went to Blue Anchor for a long walk up and down the promenade, finishing up with an iced latte (tea for husband) and toasted teacake, we shared one as they are very big.  It was warm but there was quite a strong breeze, it would have been too hot without the breeze.

We've both got optician appointments on Wednesday, I'm fully expecting to have to have new glasses, especially reading ones, my close up sight in my right eye is getting much more blurry.

And we thought it was quiet round here

 We've been out this morning to the food & drink festival along the seafront - not very interesting actually and we didn't buy anything, we won't go again (they hold them regularly).  It's quite hot, very windy and humid again now, so I didn't fancy staying out long anyway.  Husband asked if I wanted to go to the big boot sale this afternoon, I said no but he's welcome to go if he wants....I think it depends what sports are on TV!

Yesterday evening neighbour Mr X and his chief builder had a massive row in the garden, about a foot away from our fence.  Ironically, I didn't hear it but husband heard some of it, he said there was much shouting and swearing and the gist of it seemed to be that Mr X was accusing the builders of working too slow and not keeping to schedule.  I know nothing about building work, and especially on ancient stone buildings, but it does seem as if little progress has been made as yet.  Apparently (so Mr X shouted), he'd arranged for another trade to come today and do a particular bit of work, at a cost of £900, which couldn't now go ahead as the appropriate prep work hadn't been done by the builders.  He was livid - having an aggressive foul mouthed argument with your builder doesn't seem a good way of resolving things though, does it?  Who knows what'll happen now?  Mr X, we've noticed in the past, has a very short temper and is prone to shouty fits of rage if someone upsets him - another reason why we don't want to make any complaints!

Seems like there's nothing but sport on TV today - tennis, rugby, F1 and cricket, which means husband will be glued to the TV all day....at least it keeps him occupied, I won't say quiet as he keeps up a running commentary on whichever sport he's watching 😒  Well, I'm going to be sitting in my bedroom comfy chair this afternoon, doing some crocheting, I'll shut the door and have my radio on.  Thankfully, there's no building noise from next door after last night's shouting match!

We finally got confirmation through yesterday that the POA for finance is now registered and in place - boy, that took a long time, about 3 months.  Just awaiting the health one now, having had to redo it because of a silly error I made.  

Another week of warm sunshine and no rain forecast, not as hot as a couple of weeks ago, thankfully.  It's very nice of course but does mean we'll have to do a lot of garden watering.

A tiny bit of progress

 Husband's key worker rang yesterday, it was quite an interesting conversation.  She initially asks how we both are, how we're coping and if there are any new problems.  She then asked husband how his short term memory is right now.....he answered that it's fine, no problems!  So I said no it isn't, it's terrible, he's in denial about it just as he is about a lot of things.  She asked what else I thought he was in denial about, I answered well for a start he drives too fast and refuses to admit it.....although I can't see the speedo from my seat, I'm not stupid, I can tell when he's speeding.  The other day we were going somewhere we hadn't been before (the scanner place in Taunton where husband was having his brain scan) so I switched on the satnav on my phone, which also shows the speed we're travelling at.  Surprise, surprise - husband was speeding on several occasions, I showed him on my phone so he had to accept it, which he wasn't pleased about.  He then brushed it off as 'only' being a few miles over the limit, as if the rules don't apply to him.  I also said he often refuses to accept things I'm saying - e.g. the shower stopping because he starts running the taps in the kitchen (incidentally, it's happened twice more this week 😒).  Because he insists that it 'can't' or 'shouldn't' happen, he refuses to believe me, as if I'm telling lies.  He's pointed out that it never happens when he's having a shower.....well no dear, that's because I make a point of not running the taps whilst he's in the shower!  Perhaps I should....he can't deny it then!

I asked about husband's brain scan results - they're not in yet, the key worker said they don't generally even tell the patient about the results.  Why not?  I asked, we (or at least I) would like to know!  After all, it has a bearing on husband's mental abilities and should make any diagnosis a bit clearer.  She said she's not comfortable herself with withholding information from the patient or their carer, so said she would try and find a way to let us know the results - without getting herself into trouble.  As for the backlog/waiting list of appointments for the further in depth cognitive testing - she said realistically it's likely to be December before we get an appointment 😡.  So I said that's a pity, because if it turns out husband does have some form of dementia, we're missing out on him possibly getting medication for it for months to come.  I know not all forms of dementia can be treated with medication but some can, the meds either help with symptoms or help to slow the advancement.  Well, it turns out that husband is unlikely to be prescribed any medication for it anyway, because the current meds slow the heart rate down and lower BP - neither of which would be suitable in husband's case due to his heart failure.  So that was a bit of a blow.  It seems it would be a case of helping to manage the symptoms in other ways, e.g. by having physical or memory aids, or encouraging the patient to attend day centres.  Well, I know for certain husband won't attend any day centres, he views it as sitting with a load of bonkers old people - and he doesn't class himself as one of them!  To be fair, I don't think he's at that stage either.  I did actually visit a local ForgetMeNot day centre just to see what it was like - I went on my own, to check it out first.  There were about a dozen elderly women, mostly quite a bit older than husband, and just 2 men, they all had carers or relatives with them.  They were all sitting round tables facing each other in a circle, having a sing song of Vera Lynn type songs - husband would have absolutely hated it.

The keyworker did, however, suggest she refers him to the local Alzheimer's Society representative, who will come and see us at home.  Ok, husband's not been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, or any other form of dementia, as yet, but she said they are very good at helping people with memory problems, suggesting ways to cope, signposting to other local organisations who could help in other ways - and they help the carers too.  Yes please, I said.

So at the moment there's a little advancement, but still a lot of waiting!

A peaceful day - hopefully

 The Blogger problems seem to be getting worse, I've had several regular readers emailing me to say they haven't seen any posts from me recently.  I do post most days but, as seems to be a regular occurrence lately, they don't appear on the reading list until hours or even days later.  Ho hum.  

Husband has gone on the free shoppers bus to Bridgwater, so I have 4 or 5 hours to myself at home - lovely.  I did briefly consider going with him, but it's too long to leave Betty on her own nowadays.  I'm not doing much, just sitting in my bedroom chair crocheting and reading, with the radio on my favourite station, Greatest Hits.  I've been feeling quite tired recently, so a day of rest - peaceful rest at that - is just what I need.  I'm going to try and get the shades of purple warm cardi I started a few weeks ago finished in time for our holiday, I may even start another one, I could do with a plain navy one.  If I don't finish that, I'll take it with me.

I've just bought the final 3 of Jilly Cooper's Rutshire Chronicles series of books, I've read all the previous 8 but not the last 3 published, in fact I didn't even realise she'd written more.  I'll save them to take away with me, they're long books (she generally writes about 6-800 pages) so will have plenty of reading matter.

I'm not doing a load of food shopping and cooking before we go, we'll just take enough food for the first couple of days - there are supermarkets not far away so we'll go shopping once we're there.

There's not a great amount of noise next door (so far) today - it's not continuous and ear piercing like it was yesterday, just intermittent.  There only seems to be 2 builders there, so a lot less shouting too.  Our next door neighbours, whose garden also backs onto the building site, were also complaining about the noise to us yesterday evening, they had visitors and said it was impossible to sit in their garden, which they'd normally do, because of the racket going on.