In the words of Victor Meldrew.....I don't believe it!

 The 'making space in the freezer' thing is going slowly, but at least I am taking things out.  Yesterday we had smoked salmon and some veg out of the freezer, for a salmon rice thing, today it'll be gnocchi with a sauce made from frozen homegrown tomatoes, so that's a bag of those gone from the freezer.  I'll roast some sliced courgette and butternut squash and husband will have bacon with his.  Today, however, I'll be putting more back in, albeit Betty's food, I'm making up another batch of chicken and squash food and freezing it in tubs.  Oh, and husband did take a loaf of his bread out, so that's a biggish gap made.

I had my diabetic eye screening in the morning, the technician said I have a very small diabetic bleed in one eye, tiny in fact (he had to enlarge the screen to see it), he said it's nothing to worry about and will probably have gone by the time I have my next screening!  In the afternoon I saw the new podiatrist for the first time, she was lovely and dealt with my ingrowing toenail with no pain at all.  She loosened the nail and then cut a piece off the side, put some antiseptic spray on and bandaged it up, she said to leave the bandage on (and not get it wet, so I have to put a plastic bag on it to shower) for 2 days.  After that I have to wash the toe with mildly salted water and put a fresh plaster on every day for a week.  She said as I'm diabetic we need to take extra care that it doesn't get infected.

In between these two appointments we had a surprise visit from a worker from our landlords, he came to measure up our bathroom for the new flooring which is supposedly being laid on Friday of next week.  I say 'supposedly' because it's now up in the air.  Apparently, according to this bloke, the whole job will take two - yes two - days - it's only a small wet room with shower with waist height screen, basin and loo!  The first day they will have to remove the loo and sink, shower screening, and the door (it's a sliding door and wide doorway, wheelchair adapted) and then lay a new concrete floor, which must not be walked on until it's completely dry, which will take all day and possibly into the evening.  The following day they'll come back, spray the floor with glue and lay the new flooring, before then fitting back the toilet, basin etc and the door.  So the chap said the bathroom will effectively be out of action for two days.  Erm, what?  And what are we supposed to do about going to the loo?  Oh, he said, can't you go over to the day centre and use theirs?  The communal day centre for our sheltered housing estate is about 100 metres or so away and isn't actually open 24/7, it's not even open every single day now.  Even if it were, as both of us have bladder issues (bowel too with husband, and urgency), it wouldn't be practical for us to have to go elsewhere to use a loo.  He then said that he supposed they could bring us a commode!  Which would have to go in my bedroom, there's nowhere else to put it (husband's room is too small and cluttered).  Oh and he said he doesn't know why the floor laying appointment was booked for a Friday, as the job takes 2 days and they don't work Saturdays!  Honestly, you couldn't make it up.  I just find it astonishing and quite unbelievable that this is a sheltered housing development for elderly and disabled people and yet they don't appear to be showing any consideration for that.  We said it'll have to be postponed until such time as we and they can come up with a suitable solution.

I think the best thing would be for us to book a night away in some local holiday accommodation, bearing in mind we'll have Betty with us too which adds a layer of difficulty.  I did have a quick look online yesterday and couldn't find anywhere locally available for one night in the next few weeks, it's the wrong time of year.  The other problem, even if I could find somewhere, is that workmen from our landlords are notorious for cancelling or rearranging jobs at the last minute, or even just not turning up with no warning.  So if that happened when I'd paid out for a night away, I wouldn't be best pleased!

If it's not one problem, it's another.  If a fairy godmother wanted to grant me a wish, I'd ask for a calm, peaceful life with NO problems or aggravations.  Not much to ask for is it?! 😂😂

Boring!

 The flu jabs at our surgery were well organised yesterday, we were both in, done and out within 5 minutes.  Slightly sore arm this morning but feel fine otherwise.  We didn't go to the boot sale in the afternoon, it rained 😒.  I think there are 3 more (weather dependent) before the end of the season, so we might get to one again.

We just had the pizza and salad yesterday, neither of us wanted chips, so only the one thing out of the freezer.  Today there'll be a few more things, we're having a roast dinner - chicken thighs for husband (plus one for Betty), homemade nut roast for me, a homemade cauli cheese and some peas out of the freezer, along with fresh cabbage, so 4 things.

This is a busy couple of weeks coming up - I have my diabetic eye screening and a visit to a new podiatrist for my ingrowing toenail, we have the lady from Alzheimers coming to offer some help and ideas for husband's short term memory.  Betty has another vet appointment on Wednesday, someone from the landlord's maintenance dept is coming to inspect our bathroom floor later in the week.  And then there's the all important dementia testing for husband.  Oh, and my cleaner is coming tomorrow.  So eating meals out of the freezer a lot this next fortnight, which should really help clear some space in it and will take the pressure off me when I haven't got a lot of time for cooking fresh meals.

I did something yesterday I don't think I've ever done before - left washing out on the line overnight.  I know some people do but I've never done it, don't really know why.  It was only fleece dog blankets which we have on the sofa and on my bed as Betty sheds so much hair.  According to the local forecast, only a couple of light showers were predicted so I thought putting the blankets out wouldn't be a problem, they dry quite quickly and there was a breeze.  Huh, it rained on and off nearly all day, not that heavy but enough to soak the blankets, they weren't dry by teatime so I left them out there.  It's sunny this morning so I'll get them in soon.

What a boring blog post 😂😂

Full to bursting

 Ohhh, it's well and truly still dark now in the mornings when I get up, and we're closing the curtains and putting the lights on around 6.30 in the evenings.  One of the reasons why I'm not keen on the winter months, not enough daylight.  Leaving aside the lack of daylight, at least the clocks going back later this month means an extra hour in bed.  I've had 2 nights now of fairly reasonable sleep, as have husband and Betty.  No further sickness periods from her, my bowels have gone back to normal and husband's are settling, although not normal yet.  I'm still trying to keep him on a low fat, low fibre diet for a few more days until his guts are back to normal, it's not easy though.  I bought him a box of plain rice krispies for breakfast the other day, that's after he picked up a box of bran flakes and said he wanted them instead.  I patiently explained that he can't have those as they're high fibre, exactly what he's not supposed to have right now.  I'd said this morning that he should have the rice krispies for breakfast.....when I came out of the shower he was eating a plateful of wholemeal granary toast....sigh.  He said he forgot.

Our freezer is currently stuffed full to bursting, I'd bought quite a lot of chicken for both Betty's bland diet and because husband likes chicken, and there are several bags of homegrown tomatoes and courgettes and a couple of boxes of chopped onions and whole shallots.  Lots of fish too - whenever I see fresh fish (not battered or breadcrumbed) on offer or yellow stickered I always buy and freeze it, as I eat lots of fish. There are also lots of odds and ends of various types of bread, so I think I need to pull those out and make a large bread pudding - which will then need to be portioned up and frozen!  A large bagful of homemade chicken bone broth too, which Betty absolutely loves drizzled over her food, I won't need to make any for a few weeks, so the bones of any chicken I cook in the next couple of weeks will have to be frozen.

The freezer is so full I can't even do an inventory, so this coming week I'm going to make sure that we have something out of the freezer every day - I'll include a meal plan using freezer stuff every day in a post, that should ensure I stick to the plan.  This evening we're having pizza with a few oven chips and salad - the pizza obviously isn't low fat or bland, but on Saturdays I generally do a frozen fakeaway type meal, both as a treat and because I don't want to cook!  So the pizza and chips out of the freezer today - won't free up much space but it's a start.

We're going to the big car boot sale this afternoon, first time in ages and probably one of, if not the last - it stops at the end of October, or before if the weather's bad.  This is going to be a busy month, what with all the medical appointments (flu jabs this morning) and various annual service/repair jobs by the landlords.  The lady from Alzheimers Society rang yesterday to arrange an appointment - you may remember she didn't turn up for the last one before we went on holiday, turned out she was ill and had forgotten to ask her colleague to ring us.  She's coming to see what help they can offer us coping with husband's terrible short term memory.

Need a sign on the door....

 ....saying "Enter at your peril!"  Or that cross that people put on their doors centuries ago if there was plague in the house.  😂

I calculated I had about 4 hours sleep last night.....heavy rain, husband back and forth to the bathroom, Betty being extremely restless and then throwing up twice early this morning (the first time in the doorway of my bedroom), and my ongoing overactive mind kept me awake, for the 4th or 5th night in a row.  Both Betty and husband are in bed asleep - well, on top of my bed in Betty's case, husband returned to his bed about half an hour ago.  At least it's peaceful here!

And now I've got the runs as well (think I'm coming out in sympathy with those two!), although I don't feel unwell with it, just very tired.  So this afternoon I might break the habit of a lifetime and actually lie on my bed for a snooze....if my mind will let me.

I've told husband, very firmly, that if he wants his guts to get better then he's got to do exactly as I say, eating only what I give him and ensuring he drinks more fluids.  All he had to drink by late yesterday afternoon was 3 or 4 cups of tea, until I made him drink a large glass of water.  And, despite him not feeling well, I caught him 2 or 3 times eating handfuls of salted nuts - which would dehydrate him even further, not to mention upsetting his guts more.  I've now hidden the nuts (which he bought himself) at the back of the baking stuff cupboard, he won't think to look there.  As I've said before, husband has always had a big appetite, he wants 3 meals a day plus snacks, and if he doesn't get them his stomach thinks his throat's been cut.  On the rare occasions when he doesn't want anything to eat, then I know he's really unwell.

Yesterday I found an extremely helpful and very detailed NHS diet thing especially for diverticular disease, it's here if anybody else needs it.  So now I can plan accordingly the type of meals husband can eat (and what he can't eat when he's in the throes of gut trouble).  Yesterday for dinner I made him a chicken, mushroom and white rice dish, I had tinned tomatoes on sourdough toast with a sprinkle of grated cheese on top, delish.  He likes pudding after his main meal, so I made something that I haven't made for years and years, we frequently had it as children - Mum called it blancmange but it was really a cheat's cheap version.  A packet of jelly crystals made up to half a pint, a tin of evaporated milk whisked until frothy and then stirred into the cooled jelly and put into the fridge to set, I thought it would be gentle on his stomach.  He loved it.

I've got over my little wobble of yesterday and feel back to my normal self.  I must say my 'normal' has changed over the past couple of years, I've become harder I think and certainly don't suffer fools gladly.  If friends or even family aren't very supportive or show much understanding, nowadays I just think "Ok, bye then" - if they don't make any effort, then nor do I.

At least there's one positive

 Since coming back from holiday - which was very relaxing and we had a good time - I've begun to feel like the walls are closing in on me again.  This isn't helped by lack of sleep, I've had some terrible nights recently, it's hard to switch my brain off - last night in particular, I was awake more than asleep.  The problem is nothing happens or gets done in our household without me planning, organising and arranging it, and quite a lot of me doing practical things myself.  There's just so much to do - over the next 3 weeks we have seven health appointments between us, plus another two for Betty.  And landlord's operatives coming twice for a couple of annual service jobs, plus another 'anytime' visit from one of them to come and inspect our bathroom vinyl flooring, which is lifting, so then it'll be yet another appointment for them to come and actually lift the flooring and lay new stuff.  So it's a lot of juggling and fitting in all these appointments.  In between, we've got the garden to tidy up, prune and generally get ready for winter, and a lot of Spring bulbs to plant.  And of course the upcoming dementia testing for husband is on my mind - not his, I asked him and he said he's not even been thinking about it.  I've had a few people telling me to put things out of my mind, cross that bridge when/if you come to it, etc etc.....I know they mean well but we're all different, we all do things in different ways.  If you're the sort of person who can put things out of your mind - all well and good.  But I'm not, I am and have always been a worrier.  I like to have a good idea of what might happen, so that I can plan accordingly, I really dislike things being sprung on me at the last minute and like to feel prepared.

Anyway, this morning we've been back to the vet, the lovely kind thoughtful John, as Betty has an ear infection again.  I also wanted to talk to him about my plan for her ongoing colitis (or whatever it is) treatment.  After a lot of thought, I've decided I don't want to take her to the big vet hospital in Wellington, which is 25 miles away.  Betty's insurance will only cover her for the cost of the diagnostic tests (blood and poo tests and scans or xrays), there'll be next to nothing left over to pay for treatment, if required.  And we simply can't afford to pay for expensive (very expensive there) ongoing treatment.  I hate that it comes down to cost, but the fact is, it does.  So I see little point in going all that way and putting her through all the tests, just to be certain of what's wrong with her and then not being able to afford treatment.  Our vet is fairly certain that it's a gut issue, probably colitis but possibly the dog form of Crohn's or inflammatory bowel disease.  As I mentioned the other day, having done all this research on bland diets suitable for dogs with gut issues and having made food for her, which she has mixed with some vet approved kibble for sensitive guts, I'm satisfied that she's having the best and most suitable diet I can give her and, more importantly, she really likes it and it seems to suit her, in that it calms her gut.  So I asked the lovely John if he thinks that maintaining this diet for her, along with giving her a low maintenance dose of the antacid meds, is a viable plan going forward.  He said yes it's a very viable plan, and indeed a very sensible one.  So that's a big weight off my mind, I'm very happy with that.

Now to husband, who's still having gut issues himself, he's still got the runs (no leakage accidents last night, thankfully).  The locum GP we saw a week or so before our holiday said he thinks husband has some form of diverticular disease, he said about husband having a blander diet (no spicy or high fat stuff, both of which he likes!), drinking more fluids, losing weight and taking more exercise as he has such a sedentary lifestyle.  I don't really know much about diverticular disease, I shall have to look it up and then come up with some plans for husband's meals.  So yet more stuff for me to do, it feels like I spend my life working in a kitchen for specialist diets, hence why I prefer such a plain and simple veggie diet for myself - at least a jacket spud with beans and/or tuna and cheese, or a cheese omelette or cheese on toast with salad things (bit of a cheese theme going on there!) is quick and easy!  If husband's guts don't settle down, then that means yet another visit to the GP for referral to hospital for further tests - a camera down his throat or up his backside or scans of some sort, I expect.  I'm so glad we don't have to pay for NHS treatment, we're very lucky in this country, even with the problems the NHS has.

I've decided I need to take 2 hours a day, in the afternoons, to spend in my room with the door closed and strict instructions to husband to only disturb me for something really important.  I've told him this before but he forgets, of course, and is always coming in to tell me about something very mundane like a programme he's watching on TV, or he's just killed 2 flies in the lounge, has spilt his drink on the floor or can't find the new box of teabags.  

I just need a couple of good sleeps (at night, I almost never nap during the day) and then everything will be fine again and I'll get my coping head back on.

Here we go again...plus soup making and husband's latest obsession

 The day has started with husband having the runs again and Betty being sick, it's the first time in a fortnight she's thrown up but it wasn't much and she seems fine, not moping around looking sorry for herself so I don't think it's anything to worry about.  As for husband, well the locum GP we saw 3 or 4 weeks ago reckons husband probably has some sort of diverticular thing - again, it's the first time he's had the runs in a couple of weeks and appears fine otherwise.  He's already had breakfast....I did suggest it might be better if he held off eating until around lunchtime, but no he was hungry and wanted toast.  Up to him.  I'm not giving Betty anything to eat until later on though, as per the vet's suggestion (I do at least take notice of what I'm told and follow the advice, unlike my other half!).

With food prices rising all the time and having regard to what we've got in the freezer (which is currently full to bursting, partly as a result of all the food and bone broth I've made for Betty), I've decided we'll have a homemade soup and sandwich evening meal a couple of times a week.  I've got several bags of home grown tomatoes and courgettes in the freezer, a basketful of shallots in the car port and husband pulled up the last of the carrots yesterday, looking at them it's probably at least a couple of kilos.  So lots of possibilities for soups there - tomato and lentil, courgette and blue cheese, carrot and cumin for a start.  Actually, today we're having soup, not any of the above though.....smoked haddock chowder, which is one of my favourites, I have half a tin of sweetcorn in the fridge and some small new potatoes which are going a bit soft and need using, along with a single frozen smallish piece of smoked haddock.  Yum.

I've got an ingrowing toenail which is sore and needs sorting, no point going to the GP as he'll only refer me to NHS podiatry which will take months and months (husband is still waiting for his referral appointment for his painful foot, after several months).  I've messaged 3 local private podiatrists - one said she can't fit me in until the end of October and suggested I ask my GP for a referral - ha!!  The other 2 haven't yet got back to me, I hope they do soon.  Everything health related takes a blimmin age to get sorted nowadays - even just to be seen.

Husband bought himself (well, ordered off his favourite internet auction site) 3 sets of metal standing shelf units, the sort that look like meccano which you have to put together yourself.  They're for his shed, which was full and untidy and we've not even lived here 3 years yet.  He spent the weekend trying to construct these shelves....I just left him to it, getting him drinks and suggesting he takes breaks every so often - there was a lot of swearing and loud banging noises coming from the car port.  He's managed to finish just one, he had to take it apart at one point because he'd done a bit wrong which meant the rest of it wouldn't fit together properly.  He started a second one late yesterday afternoon but was getting more irate and frustrated by the minute, so I gently suggested he call it a day and resume today.  I expect I'll have to help him today or he'll never get them finished.  And meanwhile the car port is full of all the junk he pulled out of his shed - he assures me it'll be cleared once the shelves are in place.  Might be a good time to sort it out and take all the useless, broken or unwanted junk to the tip!  He's such a hoarder of stuff which he claims might come in useful at some point....the reality is it never does, it just clutters up his shed and spills out into the car port.

Preparations

 Well, there's something positive - had a phone call yesterday offering husband a cancellation appointment for his dementia testing, 15 October, so 3 weeks time.  That's a lot better than January next year, which we were told would be the likely time, having had it put back from the original December this year.  

Meanwhile, having done lots of online research into bland diets for dogs with colitis type conditions, I'm in the process of making food for Betty.  I cooked a turkey drumstick and some chicken thighs and wings in water in the slow cooker yesterday, took the meat out and left it to cool.  Discarded the skin (too fatty) and shredded all the meat, putting it in the fridge overnight.  I put all the bones back into the liquid in the slow cooker, added some more water and a slug of apple cider vinegar (as recommended) and left it simmering on low all night.  This morning I'm cooking some sweet potatoes and rice and adding them to the shredded chicken and turkey.  I've taken the now thoroughly cooked bones out of the slow cooker and discarded them, leaving the liquid to cool, this will be strained then frozen in ice cube trays as bone broth for Betty.  I bought some for her whilst we were away, she loved it warmed and poured over her food.  So from now on she'll be having the homemade bland food, mixed with a handful of the vet-approved kibble for sensitive stomachs (to ensure she gets the necessary vitamins/minerals), with a (defrosted) cube or 2 of bone broth to moisten it.  I have to say I was almost heaving pulling the turkey meat off the bones, it looked and smelt disgusting - well, to me as a (mostly) vegetarian anyway.....the things we do for love!!

I'm going to have a go at making some healthy treats for Betty, I did try once before, I made banana and peanut butter biscuits - both of which she likes, but unfortunately not in biscuit form!  I've found a recipe for chicken, pumpkin and oat flour biscuits, I'm hoping she'll like them.

Speaking of Betty, when husband let her out in the garden for her last wee yesterday evening, there was a hornet of all things flying around in the car port, attracted by the light I suppose.  The loud buzzing noise really spooked Betty, she was quite unsettled for half an hour after that.  Poor thing, she gets spooked by quite a few noises nowadays.

I didn't sleep very well last night, the dementia testing was on my mind, as I'm sure it was husband's, not that he'll tell me - he just shrugged and said it didn't bother him when I asked him.  The long testing and questions (it takes about 2 hours) is quite wearing - obviously for husband but also for me.  Because of his dyslexia I'm so used to helping him read or answer written questions, but of course I'm not allowed to help him during the testing, although the psychologist does help him with some of the written stuff.  Husband does tend to deny there's anything wrong with his memory and won't admit to behaviour traits - because he's in denial.  The psychologist does ask me if I agree when husband has answered a question (we've been through this testing before), my answer frequently differs to husband's and he always immediately contradicts me or flatly denies it quite angrily....which I'm sure the psychologist is used to and actually helps them come to a diagnosis.  For any newish readers, husband was diagnosed with cognitive impairment after the last testing, around 4 years ago, things have definitely declined since then.

My emergency supplies box is building up quite nicely, I've been buying a few extra tins, packets, jars etc when shopping, plus some bottles of water.  Must get a couple of battery operated lights - and spare batteries!  Husband grumbled about the long life milk I bought for the box, but I said if it came to a choice between black tea (which he hates) or with a splash of L/L milk added, I'm pretty sure he'd go for the milk!  We have a gas cartridge powered camping hob so will be able to boil water or heat up tinned food in the event of a power cut....which reminds me, we need to buy some more gas cartridges.  If there's no 'disaster' over the next few months, well then it's nice to know we've got extra supplies both in the emergency box and another box under my bed for things I can't fit in my kitchen cupboards.  I read somewhere a few days ago that food prices could be rising by as much as 50% over the coming weeks (seem to have already!), so it makes sense to me to have a good supply of things bought already.  I'm not a fanatical prepper by any means, but I like to be ready and able!  Medications too - we're only allowed to order one month's supply at a time from our pharmacy, but I've been ordering them a couple of days early for ages now, so have built up about 3 or 4 weeks supply.

Ruta - I didn't go in the Skechers shop at Clarks Village so I couldn't say what the selection or prices are like, however, husband was pleased with the price he paid for his shoes.  It's quite a big shop and of course Clarks is a designer outlet centre, so most of the shops have discounted prices.  I hope your husband finds what he wants.

Home

 We were supposed to be away until Friday but have come back early - not through anything drastic.  The cottage (wing of a farmhouse) was lovely, weather was just about perfect, location was fab - both the farm itself (so peaceful) and the proximity to all the places we wanted to go.  However, being an old cottage the stairs were steep with narrow treads and the bathroom and loo were both upstairs - not ideal but we managed, although I certainly wouldn't want to live there with that setup.  The main reason for coming home early though was Betty - dogs weren't allowed upstairs, the owners were very strict about that and insisted we close the stairgate at all times to keep the dog downstairs.  Well, Betty, understandably, didn't like that at all.....she's even more clingy and anxious now and doesn't like being separated from me, she whined at the bottom of the stairs every time I even went up to go to the loo.  I knew she wouldn't settle if she was left downstairs on her own overnight, so I slept downstairs on the sofa for 3 nights, with husband reluctantly agreeing to do it twice.  The sofa wasn't very comfortable to sleep on, even lying on a thick duvet....it was ok for me (well, I was prepared to put up with the discomfort) but husband predictably moaned like hell, you'd think he was the only person to ever suffer with backache.  For the last two days though, Betty was quite unsettled and off her food, so I took the decision to come home, husband agreed with alacrity.  

The positives - we went everywhere we had wanted to go, I bought the saucepan set I wanted from the ProCook shop at Clarks Village (where my last pan set came from about 10 years ago) and got the showerproof jacket I wanted from the M&S outlet, husband bought another pair of his favourite Skechers shoes.  We went to Wells, my favourite little town with the lovely cathedral.  Had a drive through the village where we used to live, it doesn't appear to have changed at all since we moved from there in 2012.  I loved sitting in the cottage conservatory doing lots of reading and crochet, not a sound to be heard apart from birds in the trees and the chickens gently clucking in their run at the bottom of the cottage garden.  The first time Betty and the chickens saw each other, they made each other jump, very funny.....after that Betty kept her distance.  Husband spent his time as he does at home, dozing in front of the TV - not that I minded, I was happy reading in the conservatory with Betty lying at my feet.  So we had busy mornings out and about, and restful quiet afternoons.  And I did hardly any cooking - just cold meals, or something & chips, a Ploughmans one day, a really surprisingly nice Taste the Difference fish pie with - shock, horror - bought ready prepared green veggies another day.  

So here we are back home, Betty now seems fine and happy to be home, she quickly settled back down.  Although we've enjoyed it, it's nice to be home, there's nothing like your own bed.

And relax.....

 Betty seems fine now, back to her usual self, she's not been sick since early Tues morning so the antacids are obviously working, I hope they continue to keep her comfortable whilst we're away.  One good thing is that the vet surgery we used to go to before we moved here is just a couple of miles away from where we're staying, they were always really good so it's comforting to know there's somewhere we know and trust nearby.

The Alzheimer's lady didn't turn up yesterday, an hour and a half after the scheduled appointment time I rang and left a message on her answerphone.  About 40 mins later one of her colleagues rang to say she'd got flu and apologised profusely for not letting us know beforehand.  Bit annoying but these things happen, I've asked that she ring to make another appointment once we get back from holiday.

Is it just me, or is packing for a self catering holiday in this country a bit of a nightmare?  If we were flying abroad, we'd have one case and one carry-on bag each and that's it.  But for our week away here I've packed a holdall of clothes each, another bag with our dressing gowns, slippers and meds (they wouldn't fit in our clothes holdalls), a bag of dog stuff, another bag with husband's DVDs, my books and yarn, phone chargers, toiletries zipped bag, a notebook and pen.  Then there's 2 hessian shopping bags of non-fridge food, coffee & tea, toilet rolls, tea towels etc, and the cool bag which I'll pack just before we go.  Another hessian shopping bag will sit in the foot well with me as we'll be stopping off at an Aldi on the way to get my oat milk and some salad to go with our pizza tea tonight, plus a Sudoku puzzle book for husband.  I need this holiday!! 😂

I'd asked husband to get out his holiday clothes and lay them on his bed for me to pack yesterday.  For our holidays he either gets out too few things or too many, and odd tops that don't go with anything else - not that he would care about that!  It was too many clothes this time, enough for a fortnight at least, including a weird Hawaiian type shirt that I've never liked and he's hardly ever worn, and a couple of pairs of shorts that were dirty and creased and had clearly been worn several times and simply thrown back in his wardrobe without being washed. 😒  I just packed what I thought best out of his selection rather than asking him to come and whittle it down.

As I said, I probably won't be blogging much, if at all.  Have a good week everyone, the weather for next week looks pretty good x

Dog food, losing inches

 It's getting light later now isn't it, the last 2 mornings I've had to put the light on when I've got up in order to check if Betty had been sick anywhere - thankfully not.  She slept all day yesterday, then came to life in the evening and ate her tea as normal, with no sickness after, the antacids seem to be working.  I've been doing some research after John the vet said she must have a very bland diet, he suggested a dry food specially for sensitive stomachs.  I did say she doesn't really like dry kibble, John replied that dogs aren't like humans - if they're really hungry they will eat anything.  Hmmm.  And anyway, the brand of food he suggested (Hill's Science) is very expensive - around £55 to £65 a bag 😮.  For the time being, I've bought her some commercial food trays for sensitive stomachs and have also made and frozen some plain poached (in water) chicken with minced carrot and squash to take with us.  I'm also still giving her one treat a day (a reduction from her usual half a dozen treats), a dried chicken fillet broken up and given throughout the day.  She has her antacid tablets wrapped in a small piece of wafer thin ham - John's suggestion.

Isn't it funny how we lose inches (in height) as we age.....would be lovely if we also lost pounds with ageing without even trying!  Husband was 5'8" when we met, although he absolutely insists he was 5'9" and the tallest out of him and his 4 brothers.  Erm, no, 2 of his brothers were taller than him, as evidenced in photos of them all lined up together in earlier years.  Now, he's lost 3" in height and in the evenings he's even shorter - I know our height shrinks during the day, although don't know why.  I thought I was much the same height (5'6"), but having been measured at the GP's during my last review, it seems I'm now 5'5".  It also means my BMI is now worse for my now height.  I've actually lost 6lbs over the past couple of weeks, but this morning it seems I've put back on a couple of pounds due to comfort eating whilst stressed over Betty and other things I should think.  I don't really want to eat too much 'bad' stuff whilst we're away but I think that's a bit unrealistic because - well - holiday!  But I will be making a big effort for us both to lose weight when we come back.  It is hard to control husband's eating though....making him good healthy meals is quite easy, but he does snack quite a lot between meals.  And no I don't buy him the snacks, he buys them himself when I'm not with him.

I'll be packing the clothes this morning, then it's just the food tomorrow - not loads, just enough for the first 2 days.  We've got the lady from the Alzheimer's Society coming this afternoon.  I've washed the fleece blankets I use to cover my bed and the sofa where Betty lays, just about to put them out on the line.....showers forecast but it's blowy and fleece blankets dry quickly.

I'm not taking my laptop as wifi at the cottage is said to be intermittent, so blogging next week may be sporadic or not at all.

Betty (Added)

 The vet still doesn't think Betty has anything serious such as liver disease or stomach cancer.....he thinks it's possible she may have colitis or even Crohn's (I hope not, my cousin's got that and is frequently very poorly).  He's given us 2 weeks' worth of antacids, which he says should keep her comfortable whilst we're away, I have to ring him Friday morning before we go to give him an update.  He also said to ensure she has a very bland diet, poached chicken, turkey or rabbit with some pumpkin and white rice, no dairy, high fibre or anything fatty.  At the end of the fortnight, if she's better, then he suggested one dose of the antacid per day instead of the two she's having for now.  If the D&V continues, however, he suggested he refers us to the big vet hospital and referral centre in Wellington, he doesn't have the facilities for in depth examinations and diagnosis.  Obviously that will be expensive, although our insurance should cover any initial costs (a 60 min consultation and scan will cost nearly £3,000).  If it's something major or ongoing, though, then we will have to think seriously about what to do.  Clearly, I hope it doesn't come to that, although I'm realistic about her age.  For the moment, though, I shall try and put that out of my mind (easily said!) and hope that the antacids keep her well enough during our holiday.

I'm in a pattern of bad nights, lying awake for a couple of hours and waking up exceptionally early and being unable to get back to sleep.  It's always like this when I've got lots on my mind and am stressed.  I've said to husband this morning he's got to help me more and not complain when I ask him to do something.  I've explained, again, that I cannot do everything and am very stressed at present.

ADDED

I just want to say how grateful I am for all your lovely comments, they're all much appreciated.  Sorry I forgot to mention it earlier x

One of those days(weeks, months)

 Betty's unwell again, having initially perked up yesterday afternoon she's now listless and restless again, has been sick and has the runs.  I really don't think it's just a sensitive stomach because of her age, these episodes of D&V are coming more and more often and I'm very worried about her.  We've got a vet appointment this afternoon.  Apart from anything else, as we're off on holiday on Friday, I really don't relish the prospect of her being unwell and possibly being sick all week in someone else's house, it wouldn't be much of a holiday for her or us.

Bad things always happen when you don't want them to - not that there's ever a good time.

Yesterday, a family member sent a message saying they were sorry to hear I'm a bit down (a bit down?!  Oh really??) and attached a photo of a sunset on a beautiful beach, clearly not in this country, saying they hoped it would cheer me up.  Turns out they're in Lake Garda, Italy, their 2nd holiday in as many months - I didn't even know they were going, either time.  Honestly, how they thought a photo of their lovely foreign holiday would 'cheer me up' I don't know, it's so absolutely tone deaf.  They've got zero conception of how our life is nowadays.  I could have cried.  I don't begrudge them their holidays or feel jealous, not at all, they've worked hard all their lives and deserve a nice retirement life.  But I honestly wish some people, family and friends who should know better, could live in our shoes for a couple of days.  I was also firmly put in my place by a long-standing friend the other day, which cut me to the quick.  

I'm just feeling very sorry for myself at the moment, and worried sick.  Sometimes I just feel like saying 'sod the lot of you' and going off to live on a desert island.

Is there something going round?

Both Betty and I have stomach upsets today, all 3 of us seem to be coming down with gut problems recently, but on different days, it's happened several times in the past few weeks.  None of these episodes have been serious or prolonged, only lasting a day or two, although husband's problems a week or so ago were the worst of the lot.  As husband and I quite often eat different meals, and we hardly ever give Betty bits of our food, it's difficult to pin down if it's a food that's causing the problems.  We do all drink the water (mine is filtered through a cartridge filter jug, husband is happy to drink his out of the tap, as does Betty) but I wouldn't have thought it could be that - our water system here on our sheltered housing estate is blasted through with something or other every Friday night to prevent legionella or other water borne nasties, the water from our hot tap is always boiling hot on a Saturday.  Who knows?!  I know there have been problems with bacteria in bagged salads, eggs and chicken from other countries, and now jars of olives, but we've not eaten any of that.

I had a text earlier from our landlords to 'remind' me that operatives are coming this Friday a.m. to 'do our repairs'.  Problem is, this is the first we've heard of it so I'm not sure what repairs, I'll have to ring them tomorrow to find out what it is.  They can't come then anyway, that's the day we go off on holiday.

Husband is today wearing quite a nice outfit that he rarely wears at home and wants to take with him on holiday - which I expressly asked him not to do this week.  I'm sure he thinks I'll be doing washing right up to the morning we go away.  As it happens, I do have 2 more loads of washing to do, tomorrow and Tuesday, but that will be it for this week.  He's got plenty of old clothes he could have worn.

I didn't sleep at all well last night so might have a nap this afternoon, I was going to pack toiletries and the dog's bag but that can wait till tomorrow.  I've got physio tomorrow morning.  I've done this week's menu plan and a small shopping list for holiday things, we'll do that on Thursday morning, we're just taking food for Friday and Saturday as I want to just relax for the first couple of days.

Thurs afternoon we've got the lady from the Alzheimer's Society coming, I don't know what they can do but no doubt we'll find out.

Blogger's still not showing updated blogs on the reading list, I wonder whether they're closing it down?  I hope they tell us!

 

Preparations

 No blogs have shown up on my daily reading list for several days now, their new posts only show up when I go to each individual blog.  I have notified Blogger a couple of days ago but they don't seem to be in a hurry to do anything about it.

We've got 2 appointments next week, and I've got all the holiday stuff to gather together and pack, washing of stuff we want to take with us to do, and remind husband not to wear anything he wants to wear on holiday, as he's often done in the past.  I'll have to give him a couple of jobs to do, like packing his clothes, although I'll have to suggest what he should take - holidays to husband, even though we only ever go in this country and usually later in the year, mean basically 2 t-shirts and a pair of shorts....one year he even forgot to pack any underwear!  He did offer to pack Betty's things, but I wouldn't trust him with that, it's highly unlikely he'd remember everything like her tablets, couple of towels, food and water bowls, toys, lead, collar and harness.

I'm on the home run with my jumper, just the assembly, cuffs and edging to do (and the dreaded sewing in of ends.....I know I should do it as I go along but rarely do).

All the 25th anniversary of 9/11 coverage was very poignant, it's one of those terrible events that we never forget.  We'd recently put our then house on the market and on that day I was working in town and popped into the estate agents after lunch to ask them to rectify an error in the sales particulars.  The estate agent was listening to the radio looking shocked and told me what had just happened, we both listened for a few minutes more, neither of us could quite believe it.  On the day that Princess Diana died, I remember it was a Sunday morning and we'd just got up, our neighbour (who knew I was a Royalist) came over to ask if we'd heard the news, I actually burst into tears when he told me.

I've started up an emergency supplies box, I'm not panic buying anything but am getting a couple of extra things when I go shopping, things like bottles of water, tins of beans, tomatoes, peas and fruit, pasta and rice, dried milk, coffee, dog food, toilet rolls and toiletries will all be going in it.  We've got a camping stove that runs on camping gas, we did have a pack of 10 gas bottles but husband has just informed me we only have 1 left....apparently he's been using them to power his flame thrower/weedkiller thing 😒 so I've told him he'd better buy some more and stop using them all up!  I'll also need to put in matches or a lighter, torches and batteries.  Apparently, we're supposed to have enough emergency supplies for 3 days, if it comes to some kind of disaster.  Just think, our grandparents would have thought nothing of it, they'd have just rolled up their sleeves and got on with it.

How not to get up

 The weather was lovely yesterday, sunny and pleasantly warm albeit definitely cooler and a bit autumnal.  In town we got the few things needed for our holiday and had a browse in the charity shops.  I found a lovely royal blue jumper, brand new with tags still attached, just £6, and a navy Cotton Traders sleeveless zip up fleece gilet, also brand new, £4.50, well pleased.  Also got another couple of books for me and 2 more DVDs for husband to take away with us.  All set now.

I had a text from the NHS yesterday afternoon, offering me a cancellation appointment for diabetic eye screening for today, it said if I didn't want the cancellation then just ignore the text and stick with my original appointment.  Well that's ok, I don't want an appointment today anyway, got other things to do.....however, I haven't yet had an appointment letter for my diabetic eye screening 😂.  I presume it's on the way.

As we sleep in separate rooms, I rarely see husband getting out of bed, I'm nearly always up before him anyway.  Yesterday though I needed to ask him to come and get rid of a beastie in the kitchen so went to wake him up, so I actually saw the way he gets out of bed.  Well, he does it in the most awkward way, it's no wonder he takes ages to get up and has backache and, now, an umbilical hernia.  He lies flat on his back and struggles to simultaneously sit up and twist his lower body off the bed, he looks like a beached whale!  I've had back problems all my adult life and have seen physiotherapists literally dozens of times over the years, I was shown by one how to get out of bed in the safest way years ago, and have done that ever since.  Gently roll over onto your side facing the side you want to get up.  Swing your legs over the side of the bed, then use your upper arm and hand to push down on the mattress in front of your torso and gradually push yourself upright.  Sit on the edge of the bed for a few seconds to stabilise your blood pressure, then put your hands either side of you on the mattress, or on your thighs, lean forward slightly and push yourself upright.  Easy - certainly much easier than floundering about like an upturned turtle trying to get up!  So I've shown husband how to do it.....he will no doubt forget often so I'll have to keep an eye on him and keep reminding him.  Something else to watch out for 😒

K, I can't be doing with complicated crochet stuff nowadays, I stick to granny stitch, clusters or plain trebles for the most part, mindless but relaxing stuff!

Mrs LH, sorry about your pets 😞, that's the downside of having pets - they don't live as long as us 😭

None of the regular blogs appeared on my daily blog list yesterday, despite most of them publishing new posts.  What on earth is going on with Blogger?

Seems fine

 We went to the GP's, saw another locum we'd not seen before.....seems to be all locums recently.  Not that I've got anything against them (this one was very nice), my only reservation is that there's no continuity of care, and you're seen by someone who knows nothing about you except what he reads on the computer screen - that's if he actually does read it.

He asked lots of questions and did an examination, he didn't find anything out of the ordinary....well, except he said husband appears to have a smallish (at present) umbilical hernia, which husband wasn't aware of.  He noted that husband had done one of those poo tests that we oldies get through the post nowadays, in May this year and it had come back clear, so the GP said it's highly unlikely that he's got bowel cancer.  However, he gave him another one to be sent off, just to be on the safe side.  The GP thinks that husband may have a mild case of diverticulosis or diverticulitis, which he said is nothing really to be concerned about, unless he has repeated episodes of D&V and gets abdominal pain, which he doesn't at present.  The GP said husband's age, weight and sedentary lifestyle may be contributing factors and suggested he tries to lose some weight and do more exercise.  All in all he was very reassuring, so that's one weight off our minds.

The other positive thing yesterday was that we had a phone call from a Dementia/Memory adviser from the Alzheimers Society.  Husband's key worker who rings us once a month to provide support (her words) whilst we're awaiting the memory test appointment, currently forecast for next January, had said she'd done a referral to them - not that husband has Alzheimers, he hasn't been diagnosed yet.  She said however that they have advisers who will make a home visit and offer help dealing with husband's memory problems.  That referral was 2 or 3 months ago and we'd heard nothing, so the key worker said she'd chase them up......the adviser rang the very next day.  She's coming to see us next week.

Other than that things are plodding on, I'm beginning to think about starting to pack for our holiday and am still crocheting - I've finished the back and front of my jumper and am halfway through one sleeve, I should finish the whole thing ready for taking on holiday, along with the cardi....which I have still to sew in the ends for.  I have another yarn pack (lovely pink DK) ready to take on holiday, another jumper.

Husband was decidedly grumpy and snappy yesterday, I suspect because he was worrying about the GP visit, not that he ever tells me if he's worried about anything, he seems to have calmed down now.  All three of us slept much better last night.  Weather looks good today, I've got washing in the machine to go out on the line and I think we'll pop into town for a wander round the shops, there's a few bits I need for the holiday.

Small wins

 Husband was being extremely resistant to the idea of going to the GP, he just didn't want to go and insisted he didn't need to.  So this morning I've put my foot down and said I'm making the appointment and he's going, it's at 4 pm today.  He's grudgingly agreed.  The thing is, since he's the one who has to drive the car there, if he flatly refused to go then there's not much I could do to make him do it.

It's been raining heavily during the night and continuing now, although it's beginning to tail off now and is due to stop in an hour or so, it's lovely to see the grass greening up again.  Isn't it amazing how quickly it comes back, especially when it's looked totally dead for the last few weeks/months even.  Most of our veggies are over and done with now, apart from a few courgettes and carrots, I'll have to start buying fresh tomatoes and cucumbers again.

I'm feeling a bit apprehensive about our upcoming holiday - whilst it'll be good to have a change of scenery and be in an area we've not visited for about 3 years, I'm concerned about it possibly being the same old, same old but just in a different place.  If husband finds something to moan about, he will....if he doesn't want to go somewhere, it'll be hard to shift him (and there's no public transport nearby, a bit of a rookie error on my part).  I have memories of our last holiday this time last year, when we came home a day early because I was totally fed up with husband's constant complaints.  But then again he might be alright this time, I can only hope!

The searing pain I had in my shoulder following the cortisone jab had mostly worn off by the weekend.  And now, I'm happy to say, my usual shoulder pain seems to be reducing quite a lot - it's so nice to have one body part that isn't making me grit my teeth because of the pain.  So there's that.

Thank you all for your kind comments - you're right, I am tired and worn down with all the responsibilities and the thought that it's never going to get any better.  When we're young, newly married and carefree, we really don't think that things might change and become very hard, do we?  It doesn't even occur to us.

Probably TMI - you have been warned!

 For the past 2 nights, husband has had nocturnal diarrhoea - he's absolutely fine during the day, it's only happening at night.  Although he says he doesn't feel ill at all clearly something is going on, it's not normal to have the runs only at night, so it'll be another GP appointment on Monday.  So all three of us have had severely disturbed nights, Betty included as nowadays any change in routine seems to fill her with anxiety and makes her whiny and clingy and she can't settle for ages afterwards.  Which means I can't either.

I know it's not husband's fault, obviously there's a problem which needs investigating, especially since several times he couldn't make it to the bathroom in time, which is worrying.  Let's face it, nobody wants to be cleaning up crap off of carpets....well, at any time really, but especially not in the middle of the night when you're half asleep still and can barely get your eyes open.  

Yesterday afternoon I had my first ever cortisone injection in my shoulder, I was quite surprised that they actually gave it to me....there was some doubt as to whether they would as I have an adverse reaction to NSAID meds and the cortisone jab is apparently a type of anti-inflammatory.  A different type though according to the senior physio, which shouldn't give me the same adverse reactions - it didn't, thankfully.  However, she said I may experience some side effects, such as a rare case of anaphylactic shock (no, thank goodness) facial flushing (nope), swelling or reddening of the jab site (no), or intense pain in the jab area.....oh yes!!  After a couple of hours I had the most excruciating searing pain in my shoulder, far worse than the 'normal' everyday pain, I ended up taking cocodamol and going to bed early because of the pain.

So when all this stuff with husband woke me up before midnight, and continued for a couple of hours afterwards, I could have cried.  Now, this sounds (well, is) extremely uncharitable and I'm sure lots of you will be thinking 'what a horrible woman', but I couldn't help thinking 'why can't I have even one day when I'm the unwell person, why is it always all about him?'.  I told you I'm horrible!

Yesterday teatime, because my shoulder was so agonisingly painful, I asked husband to do the dinner - it was ridiculously easy, just battered fish and chips from the freezer with mushy peas, a child could have done it.  Well, husband kept coming into the lounge every 2 minutes asking questions - do the fish and chips go in the air fryer at the same time?  Do I need to put them on foil or greaseproof paper?  What temperature and for how long?  Does the fish need turning over?  Are the chips brown enough yet?  Shall I do the peas in the microwave or a saucepan?  Honestly, I wished I hadn't asked him, it would have been easier to do it myself.

So today it's going to be a very quiet one (hopefully) - Betty's already snoring her head off on my bed and husband is asleep in his recliner chair in front of some daytime rubbish on the TV - business as usual then.

Apparently Blogger's been having another glitch, comments aren't being published, it seems it's a widespread problem.  And there was me thinking I've obviously p*ssed off all my readers as none of them are reading or commenting anymore (well, you might think that anyway, I wouldn't blame you).

As fast as one gets better....

 Betty's fine this morning, she's had some breakfast, she slept very well last night.  I'm glad she's ok today because husband has come down with something, he was unwell during the night with several trips to the loo, I wouldn't have wanted to be running around after both of them.  He didn't get up until 9 this morning (he normally gets up around 7), sat watching TV and has just gone to get washed and dressed.  He says he feels mostly ok now, although is tired and will probably have a nap or 2 during the day (he does that every day anyway!).  Good job I feel ok.

My fasting day went well yesterday, I stuck to my plan and kept occupied so I didn't listen to the 'food noise'.....funny modern expression.  I intend to have another couple of 1 day fasts next week, it seems to be a good and easy way of dropping some calories without doing a full-on diet.  Basically, I had a small banana for breakfast, some cottage cheese with cucumber slices followed by a peach for lunch, and half a can of baked beans with a little sprinkle of Parmesan, then an apple for dinner.  I enjoyed it all and didn't feel hungry.  

Mr X next door is out in his garden with a new builder, talking about his barn, so possibly work may be starting again sooner or later.

I see there's still stories in the media about the Government telling us all to stock up our food cupboards - I haven't read the articles, it seems like a good way of starting up panic buying though.  Which I won't be doing.  I will add a couple of extra cans, dry goods or bottles of water to our normal shopping, to build up a stock, I won't be grabbing a trolleyful of toilet rolls!  I'm sure it's just an excuse for shops to put all their prices up even more.

Feeding Betty - and a fasting day for me

 Betty's having a sicky day again, she's been sick 2 or 3 times this morning, poor thing.  She doesn't seem particularly unwell this time though, she's definitely not lively but isn't moping around as much....she's quite clingy right now though, seems to want to be with me all the time.  She's currently sleeping peacefully on my bed, I'll be withholding food until this evening, or even tomorrow, depending on how she is later on.  We were supposed to be going out for lunch today but have postponed it, I'm not leaving her home alone.  It doesn't matter at all, we can go anytime.  I've decided I'm going to make all of her food from now on - she normally has 3 or 4 days of homemade food per week, interspersed with good quality commercial food.  She loves chicken, turkey and beef mince, so she'll have those mixed with some veg (carrot, broccoli, butternut squash or sweet potato), plus a beaten egg and a couple of crushed weetabix, I make about 4 or 5 days worth at a time.  Once a week I give her a little tin of sardines in oil, mixed with a handful of kibble.  She also has some scrambled egg for breakfast when we have it at weekends.  I'm not giving her liver anymore, although she loves it I think it may be too rich for her delicate stomach now - she had liver last night so possibly why she was sick this morning.  

Husband likes to tell people that Betty gets better food than he does, which of course isn't true - they're both fed well!  She's a much loved family member, so she's going to get a good, nutritious and tasty dinner, just as he does.

Funny old weather at the moment......intermittent sunshine and clouds, the odd spot of rain, occasional gusty winds, and last night it was so warm and muggy I had to throw the (lightweight) quilt off again.

I've decided I'm going to do a couple of fasting days per week before our holiday, just to get a few pounds off.  By fasting I mean a much reduced day of low calorie food, not complete starvation.  E.g. today I've had a small banana for breakfast, for lunch it'll be half a pot of cottage cheese with some cucumber and radishes and an apple.  Dinner tonight will be half a can of baked beans with a little sprinkle of Parmesan, followed by a small pot of low fat Greek yogurt with a dessertspoon of mixed seeds and a segmented satsuma mixed in.  So there's plenty of fibre, fat and protein there, which should keep me going for a day, I'm only going to do it for one day at a time.