What a couple of days!!

 It's been an eventful and exhausting couple of days 'oop north', glad to be home.  Husband and Betty coped fine.....although it did highlight husband's increasing confused state.  I'd left him a couple of lists of things to do and remember, meals to have, meals and treats for Betty.  I'd got out 2 of my homemade dog meals from the freezer and put them in the fridge, labelled and ready for Betty, and written on one of his lists.  He totally forgot (and claimed he didn't see it in the fridge) and got extra dog food out of the freezer and defrosted it in the microwave for her....well, at least she got fed.  He changed his mind about what meals I'd suggested for him and got out extra frozen stuff for himself - again, no matter, he ate well.  Although I rolled my eyes at the fat splattered literally everywhere - worktops, up the wall tiles, on the floor, kettle, tea & coffee canisters.  He'd fried beefburgers for himself and didn't notice the mess he'd made - even my lovely bone china coffee mug was splattered with burger fat (imagine puking face emoji here - I can't find it!).  There were cake and breadcrumbs everywhere, things he'd taken out of cupboards and left on the worktops.  I'm obsessively tidy in my kitchen so I wasn't best pleased.  All cleaned up and put away now.  Betty was hugely pleased to see me, she was all over me and has hardly left my side since yesterday.

On the way up, going through Gloucestershire it was heavy snowfall, with a thick covering on the verges and in the fields, although the road surfaces were clear - gritters had been out, the snow was expected.  Visibility was poor and traffic was heavy and slow moving - I was so glad to be driven by my expert brother, he coped admirably with no issues.  By the time we got to Northampton, the snow they'd had that morning (sis had texted a picture of her snow-covered garden) had almost gone, it was raining instead.  It was also very noticeably colder up there - it had been 7 deg and not snowing here at home when we left, but -2 with a bitterly cold breeze up there.  

Mum's house, where PR lives alone now, was like a cross between a museum and a mausoleum - several rooms had been left untouched since Mum died 5 years ago (well, it'll be 5 years on Christmas Eve), PR clearly hadn't done any kind of housework in a very long time, due to his mental issues.  The rooms, Mum's bedroom and dining room mainly (Mum had had a hospital bed delivered and set up in her dining room for the last year of her life as she could no longer manage the stairs and was bedbound), looked like they'd not been entered in years, were covered in a thick layer of dust and smelt fusty and awful.  There were piles of boxes, suitcases and clutter everywhere.  It was a nightmare, frankly.  Sister, brother and I set to early afternoon on Tuesday (PR didn't help at all), gradually clearing everything into piles of boxes and bin bags, brother made several trips to the Council tip.  We had to have regular breaks to go outside for a breath of fresh air and to dust ourselves off and have cups of tea.  We made several startling discoveries - Mum was a huge note-taker and list-maker, which we knew, but she'd kept pretty much ALL her old notebooks (why???) and had DOZENS of brand new notebooks.  And packs of pens.  And pencils.....and coloured drawing pencils......crayons......chalks....watercolour pens.....felt tip pens....paintbrushes.  I think I mentioned before we'd only found out quite late in her life that she did watercolour painting - apparently she used to paint and draw when she was a teenager, but when she got married and had 4 children she stopped that altogether (no time, presumably) and didn't take it up again until long after she'd retired from work.  We'd only seen a handful of pictures she'd done - we found 2 large sketchbooks full of paintings and coloured pencil drawings and pencil sketches, most of which we'd never seen before and didn't know she'd done them.  And some of them are so good.  We were amazed.  There was also a boxful of art books - mostly tutorials, but some drawings by watercolour artists she liked.  And, the best thing, PR actually agreed that I could have them - I so dearly wanted to have some of my Mum's artwork, so for him to say I could have it all, apart from one picture he wanted to keep, was the biggest surprise and delight.  I've brought the painting he wants to keep home with me, I shall get it framed for him, which he was very happy about.

We spent yesterday morning sorting and packing the rest of the stuff, brother made another couple of tip trips and we bagged or boxed up lots of stuff for charity.  There's a big local charity shop that will come and collect items of furniture, clean clothes/shoes and bric a brac, so we've arranged for them to come and get the stuff next week.  So that's all done now, sister will go back and give the rooms a thorough clean next week after the charity shop stuff has gone.

Sis, bro and I were so glad to get to the hotel, have showers and clean clothes and go down for dinner there - the rooms were lovely, well equipped (lots of assorted teas, coffees, hot choc drinks, assorted biscuits and mints) and warm.  The food in the restaurant (dinner Tuesday night, breakfast yesterday morning) was wonderful, no complaints there, and all the staff were so cheerful and helpful, nothing was too much trouble.  Here's where we stayed:-

It's an Art Deco style hotel by a small airfield, it used to be the pilots and officers' mess during WWII.  It's obviously been refurbished but is done up in all original Art Deco style and is absolutely beautiful.

We had lots of discussion concerning PR and have made some decisions and there's some progress concerning his mental and physical health.  Sister has had some conversations with PR's GP (sis is his appointed health representative) and various physical tests have been arranged for him, along with another referral to the Mental Health team.  PR has tentatively agreed to co-operate with all of this...hopefully he will go through with it, but none of us will be surprised if he changes his mind in due course - it's the normal pattern for him.  So far he has had bloods taken and provided a requested wee sample, so that's a good start.  He also had a haircut while we were there (pre-arranged by sis) which was another good thing - he very rarely agrees to have his hair cut and looked like the Wild Man of Borneo (I have no idea who that was, whether a film character or a real person, but it's long been a saying in our family!).  (I've just googled it - apparently it's an American comedy film from 1941 - who knew?!).

Got home about 6.30 pm last night, after a long but uneventful journey, absolutely whacked, desperately tired and achy.  Went to bed at 7.45, I think I fell asleep nearly straight away, and didn't wake up until 06.30 this morning (which is pretty much my normal wake up time).....so I was in bed and asleep for nearly 11 hours!  😲😲  Absolutely unheard of.

I'm having a couple of days of rest and recuperation now.  Brother has just messaged me to show 2 pics of him and his Irish Terrier dog Murphy walking in 20 cms of snow on Bodmin Moor.  No snow here I'm very glad to say, although there was a bit of sleety stuff coming down this morning, which didn't settle at all.  Bright sunshine now but cold.

Cotton wool head, flapjacks for comfort

 Sorry for lack of posts, nothing wrong (other than the tiredness!), just busy - well, on and off - and nothing much to write about.  I'm busy today - just as well I wrote a To Do list yesterday evening as I had a terrible night and feel like death warmed up this morning, with a head stuffed full of cotton wool.  I've done half the things on the list already, just sat down for a coffee break and quick chat with siblings.  Husband's out at the gym (well done him) so I've had a good hour to get on without interruptions.

The next thing on my list is to make some choc chip & cherry flapjacks to take up with me.  Tomorrow afternoon will be spent packing up and clearing out all Mum's stuff, which PR has hitherto refused to let go of but has now agreed, so it'll be emotional and full-on and we'll be in need of something comforting to have with a cuppa.  I wouldn't be surprised if PR changes his mind and puts up some resistance, we'll have to deal with that if/when it happens.  Siblings and I will be having the family conference back at our hotel in the evening, continuing Weds morning if necessary.  I'm looking forward to spending time with my elder bro and sis in the hotel, it'll be fun (once all the important stuff is done and dusted).

I see there's the possibility of sleet, snow or ice up in the Midlands, not looking forward to that!  Fortunately, my elder brother, who is taking me up there (he lives in Cornwall so is collecting me on his way up), has a big 4x4 and is ex-Police advanced driver, he also now works in the Alps every winter teaching new chalet staff how to drive 4x4s in the snow, so he's very experienced.  Minus temperatures are forecast for the Midlands, but not down here, although it is quite chilly down here now.

Right, must get on - for all my Northern readers (and overseas with wintry weather), please take care and stay safe and warm.

It'll pass

 I'm so tired I'm finding it hard to stay awake during the day recently, especially during the afternoons.  I know I could have a nap, but don't like doing that as I think it'll disturb my sleep patterns at night.  Not sure why I'm so tired, I'm sleeping reasonably well at night - well, for me anyway.  I don't feel like I'm coming down with something either, I feel as well as I normally do.  I suppose it's probably because there's a fair bit of emotional stuff going on right now, both here and elsewhere, which is filling my brain up.  My back and hips are really painful too - although I've had disc prolapses almost all my adult life (the first one was at the age of 19, during an energetic game of tennis), I can generally pop the disc back in within minutes.  As I said though, not this time, it was a day or two before it went back in and has remained extremely sore since.  It's affecting my walking and standing, which in turn is putting extra strain on my hip bursitis and arthritic left knee, so it's pain all round.  I'm alright though, not letting it get me down (no point really, it's not like I'm not used to it, I've had chronic pain for years and years).  But it's probably taking more painkillers, on top of the emotional stuff and stress, that's making me so tired.  It'll pass, it always does.

It's a lovely sunny day today - forecast for all day, apparently, whoopee!!  So washing is out on the line and hopefully it'll actually dry outside for once.....the 2 or 3 loads I've put out this week haven't dried outside and have had to be finished off on the airer or in the airing cupboard.  Despite (or probably because of) my brain-churning stuff going on, I've kept busy and have got to the stage where I literally have nothing else to do, so am having fun practising painting and drawing in the afternoons, and watching artists on youtube.  It's very absorbing and relaxing and I'm learning a lot.

I'm planning on making a big slow cooker full of ragu sauce over the weekend, to be portioned up and frozen for cottage pies, lasagnes, chilli.  I don't mind eating minced meat very occasionally - although I'm not keen on pure beef, I find the taste quite overpoweringly strong nowadays, so I mix it with chicken or turkey mince, tinned tomatoes, lots of grated carrot, red onions, mushrooms and lentils, so it's really more vegetable based than meat.  Which suits me just fine, and husband is quite happy with it too.  I'm also going to make a lemon drizzle cake for husband to have, and probably some flapjacks or chocolate brownies to take for my siblings and I.

Looks like the first properly wintry weather is forecast for next week - much colder with even some sleet and snow......not that we'll get any down here.  I don't mind it being cold - we have plenty of warm clothes and fleece blankets, our heating is very efficient and we're in the very fortunate position of being well able to afford our heating bills.  I could do with a new pair of winter boots though, I'll have to think about getting some.

Talented readers!

 I got my hour in town by myself this morning - it was just over an hour actually, so better than last time.  I'd looked everywhere I wanted to, and although it was sunny (still is), it's actually pretty cold - plus my hips and back were telling me they'd had enough, so the time was just right.  Having decided to go with a red and gold (or possibly red and green) theme for tree baubles, I saw a large boxful of assorted tree baubles, all in silver - different sizes and styles of baubles, little glittery stars and foil wrapped parcels, along with tinsel and a beaded garland, so made a snap decision to have silver instead.  The box is brand new, still sealed (it was a charity shop) and Debenhams branded, so I was very pleased to get it at a third of the printed Debenhams price.  In the same shop I found a bagful of small crystal glass baubles, 20 for £1.50, so I bought those too.  So that's my tree kitted out.  The tree (an artificial one but very nice looking) has built in blue LED lights, so the silver baubles and crystal drops will go better than red or gold ones, I think.

Happy Hooker mentioned yesterday that she yarnbombs her gateposts and emailed me the photos, I'll add them here (with her permission) for you all to see:-

Aren't they fabulous, and isn't HH clever and very talented?!  There were yarnbombers who did similar things along the High Street of the village we used to live near last year.....sadly, they often got vandalised or stolen.  Some people (well, teenagers I guess) have no respect.

I just want to get a Christmas wreath now for our door.....I seem to recall Lucy of Attic24 made one, crocheted obviously as that's what she's famous for, but I haven't got the patience for that sort of thing - blankets are my limit!

I've sorted out a menu plan for husband's meals while I'm away next week, it's all simple homemade frozen stuff that he can do easily, he's perfectly capable of cooking simple things for himself.  Betty's food and treats I will portion up in labelled pots, so it's just a case of husband tipping the appropriate pot out into her dish.  I'm up to date with washing and housework, just one more wash load to do at the weekend and my small bag to pack and a small top up shop of fresh fruit, veg and milk to get. 

Getting in the mood

 I washed all the dog blankets and bedding this morning, to take advantage of that rare yellow thing in the sky.....which had disappeared by lunchtime, although it's not raining, but is quite cold.  Hopefully they'll all dry on the line, they're all fleece, but I expect I'll fold and put them in the airing cupboard when I get them in, to finish off.

I've made 2 Christmas cakes, the second is a small one in a loaf tin, just because there was too much mixture for my deep round cake tin.  The small one we'll eat over the next week, I won't bother with feeding it with alcohol, unlike the big one.  So the house smells all Christmassy now.....although husband said it smelt like the new Winter Spice air freshener in the bathroom 😒.  He has such a way with words!

Having seen them advertised constantly on FB, I gave in and ordered a boxful of Cornish Pasties from a Cornish bakery....I ordered them yesterday lunchtime (must have been hungry 😂) just before 1.00 pm and they arrived this morning around 10 am.  They're despatched frozen, packed in a polystyrene lidded box inside a sturdy cardboard box, and the pasties inside the polystyrene box are surrounded with disposable freezer packs.  Everything was still frozen solid, impressively.  8 pasties and they come with 4 free jumbo sausage rolls.  They're now all portioned up and in the freezer, so that's 6 meals for the 2 of us over the next few weeks.  Actually, husband can have one of the pasties for his dinner whilst I'm away, they're cooked from frozen so he can easily do that, along with some chips or beans (most likely both).  Even though I hardly ever eat meat nowadays, I do like a proper Cornish pasty occasionally.

Husband's off to the gym again tomorrow morning (he is doing well!), so I'll get him to drop me off in town.....I want to start looking for decorations for the Christmas tree.  Last year I had all different decorations on the tree, a mixture of various coloured baubles and other things - glittery stars, glass ornaments, little stuffed toys.  I'm quite new to Christmas decs and trees, we never used to bother with them whilst my Mum was alive....the reason being, she was a Jehovah's Witness and they don't celebrate Christmas, so we'd been brought up since childhood not having any decorations up.  It didn't really bother me, I didn't know any different really.  By a huge coincidence, husband's family were also JWs - our two families didn't know each other at the time, they were in different congregations.  So he's never been bothered about Christmas either, in fact he's a total Grinch.  Neither of us is a JW, we never got into it.  I wouldn't have dreamt of putting up decorations whilst my Mum was alive - she didn't live with us but often visited, and although she wouldn't have complained, it would have seemed disrespectful to her if I had.  After she died, though, I decided I would.  I think this year is only the 4th one of having a tree.  This year, instead of the variety of different tree decs, I fancy going with a simple scheme - just baubles I think, different sizes and in shades of red and gold.  Or maybe red and green.....I'll see what I fancy when I see some in the shops.  I won't be putting up any other decorations - the Grinch does live here too so I have to take account of his wishes!  😉😁  I've got quite a few Christmas ornaments and animals, and some Xmas gnomes, which I love......I might put some of them out, although they'll have to be high up on top of sideboards etc, as Betty kept thinking they were toys for her last year, she kept grabbing them and running off with them.  I did buy a couple of lovely red Poinsettia plants for last Christmas, but they very quickly died....I'm not good with houseplants!  So I don't think I'll bother with them this year.

Some of the Spring bulbs I planted up in pots outside are already starting to show through the compost - the early narcissi I think.  Can't wait for Spring!  It's my favourite season.

Must-have Christmas goodies - brightly coloured plastic rind wheel of cheese? Or a new sofa?

 Husband went to the gym this morning and dropped me off at the supermarket, I've done the big shop for this month.  I'd just finished and was unloading at the checkout when husband came in to find me, so that was good timing.  I'm about to do the budgeting....I normally do it end of the month or the very beginning of the month, but it got overlooked this time, so a bit late.  Never mind, it's not a problem.  Our Housing Officer is due today, I'll ask her to ring husband next week when I'm away, just to check he's ok - I won't tell him I'm asking her, he'll only get huffy and say he'll be fine and doesn't need checking up on.  I'm sure he will, but it'll be peace of mind for me.  She's very kind and obliging, so I'm sure she'll do it.

The supermarket has gone full on Christmassy, I noticed they've taken some usual day to day stuff off the shelves to make room for Christmas goods, I had to ask for Edam cheese (I like a chunk of it with an apple for lunch sometimes) - none on the shelf but the assistant said they've got it out the back in the chiller, they'd moved out some everyday cheeses to free up space for those horrendously expensive little wheels of cheese covered with exotic coloured plastic rinds.  Does anyone ever actually fork out for them?  I suppose they must, or they wouldn't have them in stock.  People seem to develop this mad "ooh must have that" mentality at Christmas.....as if their friends and family will think them Scrooges if they don't buy that sort of stuff.  The adverts on TV for new sofas always get me - do people really absolutely need a new 3 piece suite for Christmas?!  Even husband was saying yesterday "What meats shall we have for Christmas?" - now, bearing in mind I'm pescatarian and it's only us two for the festive period, it's not like we need 3 or 4 joints and a turkey is it?  I've already decided to make a salmon and prawn Wellington for the day, and husband had said he liked the sound of that and would have it too.....now he's saying he'd like a big pork joint and a gammon.  I'll probably get them nearer the time if that's what he wants, but they won't be huge ones.  I might get a small turkey crown for him too (if there is such a thing as a small one), the excess meat can always be frozen, and I'm sure Betty will enjoy some of it, whatever meat we get.

Over the coming weekend I'll make a menu plan for husband for the short time I'm away, and sort out Betty's food and portion up/label her treats, so husband knows exactly what to give her.  I've told our neighbours I'll be away, so they can keep an eye on him too.  Again, not that he needs it really, but it'll save me worrying.

My back is still very sore - the disc has gone back in but the soreness remains, along with my left hip hurting like mad too - I feel like I've been tackled by a rugby player and hurled to the ground.  Such is life, it'll wear off sooner or later.

Sums it up, and my lovely Granddad

 This was posted on the Carers group I belong to online this morning:-

"I don't remember applying for this:

Full time job, no prospects, 40+ hours per week, no salary, no annual leave entitlement, no perks. No training given. No CRB required. Infinite patience and good sense of humour an advantage but not essential.

You will be expected to learn on your own initiative, be available on call at a nano second's notice and you will be expected to plaster a smile on your face at all times.

You will also be expected to deal with HCPs in a flattering, charming manner whilst keeping said smile on face and nodding agreement to the BS you are being fed, also to deal with mountains of paperwork - legal or otherwise - and be prepared for the constant knock backs when told you/your caree isn't actually entitled to whatever it is you are asking for. Again.

But not only did I not apply for this job, I got it! Still scratching my head how/why/when I accepted it but there you go. Such is life, it is what it is.

Written tongue in cheek by a jaded, over 60 year old, who foolishly expected a little more from life."

I didn't write it, but it sums up everything I feel.

My relatives and I are going to stay in a hotel overnight next week, discussing what we can do about - and to help - our PR. Something needs to be done, although it will be a massive job trying to get him to agree to things. We can but try. It means leaving husband by himself with the dog, but he can certainly cope well enough for 2 days/1 night.

I've been remembering my Grandfather today, he was a proud ex-WW2 soldier and loved Armistice day, he would watch TV all day and stand to attention in his lounge, saluting the marching servicemen and women. Bless him, he was the best Granddad to us kids, he'd take us out on nature walks in the woods, take us on the train to London for museum trips, let us help him in his veg garden or feeding his caged birds in his shed (budgies, parakeets and a talking Mynah bird that swore, much to our amusement). I miss him, even after all these years.