Resolved

 Bathroom situation again.....I've bought a portable toilet off the internet, it'll be coming Monday.  Whilst it's not an ideal situation, I feel much better about having a portaloo of our choosing, brand new (and clean!!) rather than some random used commode foisted on us.  And, let's face it, it may well prove to be useful, or even a necessity, in the future!  I'm still going to push for the bathroom flooring work to be postponed until next year though, there's just too much going on in our lives right now and I don't want the added stress.

This is the hairstyle I've decided I want:-

It's very different from anything I've had before, I've had short hair for years but this is much shorter - and shaved at the sides and back.  I really like it, I'll look at a few hairdressers - there are several in the town - and make an appointment next week.  I love the colour too but won't have that done at the hairdressers, I'll do it myself, I've always coloured my hair myself.  I've not coloured my hair for at least a couple of years so it's now my natural colour (dirty blonde) but fading to grey - very light and nondescript actually.  My Mum never really went grey, her hair colour just sort of faded too, mine seems to be going the same way.

It's windy and quite cold with showers forecast today, looks like they're about to start soon.  I need to buy a different type of heated clothes airer, the one I've got is a long one, waist height, and takes up too much room indoors, I want an upright one instead, less floor space needed.  Drying washing is always a bit of a problem in the winter here, I haven't got a tumble dryer and there's not much space in our bungalow.  There's the car port of course, plenty of room for airers out there but the coldness means the washing still takes ages to dry.

We actually went to Aldi yesterday rather than today, husband thought there'd be less traffic - as Fridays and Mondays are Butlins changeover days, there's always more traffic on those days.  I got 2 months worth of shelf stable stuff rather than my usual 1 month, so the bill was higher than normal but it'll save us fuel as we won't need to go again until early December.

A new hairstyle....possibly

 Re the toilet problem.....I doubt our landlords would spring for a portaloo in the carport, they're cutting costs nowadays.  A commode simply wouldn't work - it would need emptying after every use and where are we supposed to empty it with no access to the bathroom for 2 days? (and the toilet actually removed from the bathroom).  The landlords do have some guest bedrooms on some of their sites - not here though, they're only for use by relatives of the residents and they don't allow dogs in any case.  I've been looking to see if it would be feasible to book a night away somewhere nearby - I found nothing, no availability anywhere, people are closing up their holiday accommodations for winter, they don't want to accept bookings for just one night, or they don't allow dogs.  So it looks like a portapotty, camping toilet type thing, is the best option.  I'm not really happy about it but needs must.  I'm still waiting to hear back from our housing officer, who was going to look into it for us.  We've got so many health appointments and other things going on between now and Christmas, I would rather the bathroom thing was put off until next year anyway, I think I'll push for that.

Freezer emptying - husband had a homecooked chicken, bacon and mushroom paella type thing from the freezer last night, I had a jacket spud with cheese and a side salad.  Tonight we're having a bought but frozen frittata with chips and beans, so a couple of things from the freezer.  It's starting to have a few gaps here and there, slowly but surely.

Mr X's new builders are on site today, they've got a cement mixer going and some kind of cutting machine, so it's quite noisy out there.  The temperature has dropped quite a lot so it's not like we're sitting or working in our garden though, although with our windows open the noise is quite loud, I'll be shutting them soon.

Going to do our big Aldi shop tomorrow, I think I'll be getting more than a month's worth of shelf stable stuff so we don't need to go again anytime soon, with the price of fuel going up and up.  Both Aldi's (there are 2, in different directions) are around 50 mins drive each way, so that's quite a lot of fuel.

I've decided I'm going to have a different and very much shorter hairstyle, done in a shop not by me and husband!  Well, I say I've decided, I'm still thinking about it.  I want it shaved at the sides and back, longer on top.  This will of course leave my ears and neck exposed.....probably not such a good idea in winter 😂😂.  To get round that I'm going to crochet a few thick headband/ear warmer things to wear when we go out, that should also use up some of my stash, win win.

In the words of Victor Meldrew.....I don't believe it!

 The 'making space in the freezer' thing is going slowly, but at least I am taking things out.  Yesterday we had smoked salmon and some veg out of the freezer, for a salmon rice thing, today it'll be gnocchi with a sauce made from frozen homegrown tomatoes, so that's a bag of those gone from the freezer.  I'll roast some sliced courgette and butternut squash and husband will have bacon with his.  Today, however, I'll be putting more back in, albeit Betty's food, I'm making up another batch of chicken and squash food and freezing it in tubs.  Oh, and husband did take a loaf of his bread out, so that's a biggish gap made.

I had my diabetic eye screening in the morning, the technician said I have a very small diabetic bleed in one eye, tiny in fact (he had to enlarge the screen to see it), he said it's nothing to worry about and will probably have gone by the time I have my next screening!  In the afternoon I saw the new podiatrist for the first time, she was lovely and dealt with my ingrowing toenail with no pain at all.  She loosened the nail and then cut a piece off the side, put some antiseptic spray on and bandaged it up, she said to leave the bandage on (and not get it wet, so I have to put a plastic bag on it to shower) for 2 days.  After that I have to wash the toe with mildly salted water and put a fresh plaster on every day for a week.  She said as I'm diabetic we need to take extra care that it doesn't get infected.

In between these two appointments we had a surprise visit from a worker from our landlords, he came to measure up our bathroom for the new flooring which is supposedly being laid on Friday of next week.  I say 'supposedly' because it's now up in the air.  Apparently, according to this bloke, the whole job will take two - yes two - days - it's only a small wet room with shower with waist height screen, basin and loo!  The first day they will have to remove the loo and sink, shower screening, and the door (it's a sliding door and wide doorway, wheelchair adapted) and then lay a new concrete floor, which must not be walked on until it's completely dry, which will take all day and possibly into the evening.  The following day they'll come back, spray the floor with glue and lay the new flooring, before then fitting back the toilet, basin etc and the door.  So the chap said the bathroom will effectively be out of action for two days.  Erm, what?  And what are we supposed to do about going to the loo?  Oh, he said, can't you go over to the day centre and use theirs?  The communal day centre for our sheltered housing estate is about 100 metres or so away and isn't actually open 24/7, it's not even open every single day now.  Even if it were, as both of us have bladder issues (bowel too with husband, and urgency), it wouldn't be practical for us to have to go elsewhere to use a loo.  He then said that he supposed they could bring us a commode!  Which would have to go in my bedroom, there's nowhere else to put it (husband's room is too small and cluttered).  Oh and he said he doesn't know why the floor laying appointment was booked for a Friday, as the job takes 2 days and they don't work Saturdays!  Honestly, you couldn't make it up.  I just find it astonishing and quite unbelievable that this is a sheltered housing development for elderly and disabled people and yet they don't appear to be showing any consideration for that.  We said it'll have to be postponed until such time as we and they can come up with a suitable solution.

I think the best thing would be for us to book a night away in some local holiday accommodation, bearing in mind we'll have Betty with us too which adds a layer of difficulty.  I did have a quick look online yesterday and couldn't find anywhere locally available for one night in the next few weeks, it's the wrong time of year.  The other problem, even if I could find somewhere, is that workmen from our landlords are notorious for cancelling or rearranging jobs at the last minute, or even just not turning up with no warning.  So if that happened when I'd paid out for a night away, I wouldn't be best pleased!

If it's not one problem, it's another.  If a fairy godmother wanted to grant me a wish, I'd ask for a calm, peaceful life with NO problems or aggravations.  Not much to ask for is it?! 😂😂

Boring!

 The flu jabs at our surgery were well organised yesterday, we were both in, done and out within 5 minutes.  Slightly sore arm this morning but feel fine otherwise.  We didn't go to the boot sale in the afternoon, it rained 😒.  I think there are 3 more (weather dependent) before the end of the season, so we might get to one again.

We just had the pizza and salad yesterday, neither of us wanted chips, so only the one thing out of the freezer.  Today there'll be a few more things, we're having a roast dinner - chicken thighs for husband (plus one for Betty), homemade nut roast for me, a homemade cauli cheese and some peas out of the freezer, along with fresh cabbage, so 4 things.

This is a busy couple of weeks coming up - I have my diabetic eye screening and a visit to a new podiatrist for my ingrowing toenail, we have the lady from Alzheimers coming to offer some help and ideas for husband's short term memory.  Betty has another vet appointment on Wednesday, someone from the landlord's maintenance dept is coming to inspect our bathroom floor later in the week.  And then there's the all important dementia testing for husband.  Oh, and my cleaner is coming tomorrow.  So eating meals out of the freezer a lot this next fortnight, which should really help clear some space in it and will take the pressure off me when I haven't got a lot of time for cooking fresh meals.

I did something yesterday I don't think I've ever done before - left washing out on the line overnight.  I know some people do but I've never done it, don't really know why.  It was only fleece dog blankets which we have on the sofa and on my bed as Betty sheds so much hair.  According to the local forecast, only a couple of light showers were predicted so I thought putting the blankets out wouldn't be a problem, they dry quite quickly and there was a breeze.  Huh, it rained on and off nearly all day, not that heavy but enough to soak the blankets, they weren't dry by teatime so I left them out there.  It's sunny this morning so I'll get them in soon.

What a boring blog post 😂😂

Full to bursting

 Ohhh, it's well and truly still dark now in the mornings when I get up, and we're closing the curtains and putting the lights on around 6.30 in the evenings.  One of the reasons why I'm not keen on the winter months, not enough daylight.  Leaving aside the lack of daylight, at least the clocks going back later this month means an extra hour in bed.  I've had 2 nights now of fairly reasonable sleep, as have husband and Betty.  No further sickness periods from her, my bowels have gone back to normal and husband's are settling, although not normal yet.  I'm still trying to keep him on a low fat, low fibre diet for a few more days until his guts are back to normal, it's not easy though.  I bought him a box of plain rice krispies for breakfast the other day, that's after he picked up a box of bran flakes and said he wanted them instead.  I patiently explained that he can't have those as they're high fibre, exactly what he's not supposed to have right now.  I'd said this morning that he should have the rice krispies for breakfast.....when I came out of the shower he was eating a plateful of wholemeal granary toast....sigh.  He said he forgot.

Our freezer is currently stuffed full to bursting, I'd bought quite a lot of chicken for both Betty's bland diet and because husband likes chicken, and there are several bags of homegrown tomatoes and courgettes and a couple of boxes of chopped onions and whole shallots.  Lots of fish too - whenever I see fresh fish (not battered or breadcrumbed) on offer or yellow stickered I always buy and freeze it, as I eat lots of fish. There are also lots of odds and ends of various types of bread, so I think I need to pull those out and make a large bread pudding - which will then need to be portioned up and frozen!  A large bagful of homemade chicken bone broth too, which Betty absolutely loves drizzled over her food, I won't need to make any for a few weeks, so the bones of any chicken I cook in the next couple of weeks will have to be frozen.

The freezer is so full I can't even do an inventory, so this coming week I'm going to make sure that we have something out of the freezer every day - I'll include a meal plan using freezer stuff every day in a post, that should ensure I stick to the plan.  This evening we're having pizza with a few oven chips and salad - the pizza obviously isn't low fat or bland, but on Saturdays I generally do a frozen fakeaway type meal, both as a treat and because I don't want to cook!  So the pizza and chips out of the freezer today - won't free up much space but it's a start.

We're going to the big car boot sale this afternoon, first time in ages and probably one of, if not the last - it stops at the end of October, or before if the weather's bad.  This is going to be a busy month, what with all the medical appointments (flu jabs this morning) and various annual service/repair jobs by the landlords.  The lady from Alzheimers Society rang yesterday to arrange an appointment - you may remember she didn't turn up for the last one before we went on holiday, turned out she was ill and had forgotten to ask her colleague to ring us.  She's coming to see what help they can offer us coping with husband's terrible short term memory.

Need a sign on the door....

 ....saying "Enter at your peril!"  Or that cross that people put on their doors centuries ago if there was plague in the house.  😂

I calculated I had about 4 hours sleep last night.....heavy rain, husband back and forth to the bathroom, Betty being extremely restless and then throwing up twice early this morning (the first time in the doorway of my bedroom), and my ongoing overactive mind kept me awake, for the 4th or 5th night in a row.  Both Betty and husband are in bed asleep - well, on top of my bed in Betty's case, husband returned to his bed about half an hour ago.  At least it's peaceful here!

And now I've got the runs as well (think I'm coming out in sympathy with those two!), although I don't feel unwell with it, just very tired.  So this afternoon I might break the habit of a lifetime and actually lie on my bed for a snooze....if my mind will let me.

I've told husband, very firmly, that if he wants his guts to get better then he's got to do exactly as I say, eating only what I give him and ensuring he drinks more fluids.  All he had to drink by late yesterday afternoon was 3 or 4 cups of tea, until I made him drink a large glass of water.  And, despite him not feeling well, I caught him 2 or 3 times eating handfuls of salted nuts - which would dehydrate him even further, not to mention upsetting his guts more.  I've now hidden the nuts (which he bought himself) at the back of the baking stuff cupboard, he won't think to look there.  As I've said before, husband has always had a big appetite, he wants 3 meals a day plus snacks, and if he doesn't get them his stomach thinks his throat's been cut.  On the rare occasions when he doesn't want anything to eat, then I know he's really unwell.

Yesterday I found an extremely helpful and very detailed NHS diet thing especially for diverticular disease, it's here if anybody else needs it.  So now I can plan accordingly the type of meals husband can eat (and what he can't eat when he's in the throes of gut trouble).  Yesterday for dinner I made him a chicken, mushroom and white rice dish, I had tinned tomatoes on sourdough toast with a sprinkle of grated cheese on top, delish.  He likes pudding after his main meal, so I made something that I haven't made for years and years, we frequently had it as children - Mum called it blancmange but it was really a cheat's cheap version.  A packet of jelly crystals made up to half a pint, a tin of evaporated milk whisked until frothy and then stirred into the cooled jelly and put into the fridge to set, I thought it would be gentle on his stomach.  He loved it.

I've got over my little wobble of yesterday and feel back to my normal self.  I must say my 'normal' has changed over the past couple of years, I've become harder I think and certainly don't suffer fools gladly.  If friends or even family aren't very supportive or show much understanding, nowadays I just think "Ok, bye then" - if they don't make any effort, then nor do I.

At least there's one positive

 Since coming back from holiday - which was very relaxing and we had a good time - I've begun to feel like the walls are closing in on me again.  This isn't helped by lack of sleep, I've had some terrible nights recently, it's hard to switch my brain off - last night in particular, I was awake more than asleep.  The problem is nothing happens or gets done in our household without me planning, organising and arranging it, and quite a lot of me doing practical things myself.  There's just so much to do - over the next 3 weeks we have seven health appointments between us, plus another two for Betty.  And landlord's operatives coming twice for a couple of annual service jobs, plus another 'anytime' visit from one of them to come and inspect our bathroom vinyl flooring, which is lifting, so then it'll be yet another appointment for them to come and actually lift the flooring and lay new stuff.  So it's a lot of juggling and fitting in all these appointments.  In between, we've got the garden to tidy up, prune and generally get ready for winter, and a lot of Spring bulbs to plant.  And of course the upcoming dementia testing for husband is on my mind - not his, I asked him and he said he's not even been thinking about it.  I've had a few people telling me to put things out of my mind, cross that bridge when/if you come to it, etc etc.....I know they mean well but we're all different, we all do things in different ways.  If you're the sort of person who can put things out of your mind - all well and good.  But I'm not, I am and have always been a worrier.  I like to have a good idea of what might happen, so that I can plan accordingly, I really dislike things being sprung on me at the last minute and like to feel prepared.

Anyway, this morning we've been back to the vet, the lovely kind thoughtful John, as Betty has an ear infection again.  I also wanted to talk to him about my plan for her ongoing colitis (or whatever it is) treatment.  After a lot of thought, I've decided I don't want to take her to the big vet hospital in Wellington, which is 25 miles away.  Betty's insurance will only cover her for the cost of the diagnostic tests (blood and poo tests and scans or xrays), there'll be next to nothing left over to pay for treatment, if required.  And we simply can't afford to pay for expensive (very expensive there) ongoing treatment.  I hate that it comes down to cost, but the fact is, it does.  So I see little point in going all that way and putting her through all the tests, just to be certain of what's wrong with her and then not being able to afford treatment.  Our vet is fairly certain that it's a gut issue, probably colitis but possibly the dog form of Crohn's or inflammatory bowel disease.  As I mentioned the other day, having done all this research on bland diets suitable for dogs with gut issues and having made food for her, which she has mixed with some vet approved kibble for sensitive guts, I'm satisfied that she's having the best and most suitable diet I can give her and, more importantly, she really likes it and it seems to suit her, in that it calms her gut.  So I asked the lovely John if he thinks that maintaining this diet for her, along with giving her a low maintenance dose of the antacid meds, is a viable plan going forward.  He said yes it's a very viable plan, and indeed a very sensible one.  So that's a big weight off my mind, I'm very happy with that.

Now to husband, who's still having gut issues himself, he's still got the runs (no leakage accidents last night, thankfully).  The locum GP we saw a week or so before our holiday said he thinks husband has some form of diverticular disease, he said about husband having a blander diet (no spicy or high fat stuff, both of which he likes!), drinking more fluids, losing weight and taking more exercise as he has such a sedentary lifestyle.  I don't really know much about diverticular disease, I shall have to look it up and then come up with some plans for husband's meals.  So yet more stuff for me to do, it feels like I spend my life working in a kitchen for specialist diets, hence why I prefer such a plain and simple veggie diet for myself - at least a jacket spud with beans and/or tuna and cheese, or a cheese omelette or cheese on toast with salad things (bit of a cheese theme going on there!) is quick and easy!  If husband's guts don't settle down, then that means yet another visit to the GP for referral to hospital for further tests - a camera down his throat or up his backside or scans of some sort, I expect.  I'm so glad we don't have to pay for NHS treatment, we're very lucky in this country, even with the problems the NHS has.

I've decided I need to take 2 hours a day, in the afternoons, to spend in my room with the door closed and strict instructions to husband to only disturb me for something really important.  I've told him this before but he forgets, of course, and is always coming in to tell me about something very mundane like a programme he's watching on TV, or he's just killed 2 flies in the lounge, has spilt his drink on the floor or can't find the new box of teabags.  

I just need a couple of good sleeps (at night, I almost never nap during the day) and then everything will be fine again and I'll get my coping head back on.