Some answers, and Christmas

 Thank you for all the comments regarding the neighbour problems with our current lack of privacy and the potential for being even more overlooked once he converts the barn into holiday accommodation.  I'll try and answer some of the points raised here.

The neighbour has, as far as we know, already got permission for the holiday let business.  We understand the current building, a former stable (single storey) will be converted to a 2-storey, 2 bedroomed holiday cottage - and no the gable end won't be facing us.  In any case, the plans he's submitted show windows - and an upper small balcony - on all sides of the building - again, it's what we've been told, we haven't actually seen the plans ourselves.  He first submitted plans several years ago, then revised plans on several occasions since then, the last application being submitted and approved before we even moved in here.  From what we've been told, several neighbours put forward objections, although it would seem that none of these were taken into account.

The waist-high old wooden fence (the only thing left between our two properties now the neighbour has removed all the trees and shrubs from his side) is owned by our landlords.  They will only replace fencing with waist-high metal chain link fencing now (cost cutting), so no privacy there whatsoever.  We are free to put up fencing ourselves, at our own expense of course.  The trellis we are considering putting up on top of the wooden fence won't be the cheap flimsy expanding stuff, it'll be good quality hard wood trellis panels.  I've done plenty of research into climbing plants and tall quick-growing shrubs, the ceanothus (Californian blue lilac) shrubs I've chosen and ordered are large 5ft high plants - our next door neighbour has a couple which she planted last April when they were also around 5ft, they're now 6 or 7 ft high, so I'm confident they'll do the job we want them to, they should be arriving towards the end of next week.  Ceanothus come in both deciduous and evergreen varieties, I've chosen evergreen ones.  One of you suggested Leylandii - no thanks, we had them in a previous garden and they were total thugs, outgrowing the space very quickly and proving to be a huge headache.  

As I said, we had big neighbour problems in the distant past and have no desire to get involved in any problematic stuff now - at our ages we just want a quiet life.  So I think that resolving the privacy issues in our own way and from our own side of the garden is the way to go.  And, yet again, it's only me able to deal with things like this, husband is no help and nor do we have any friends or family to help, so I can only go about it in ways I know I can cope with.  Incidentally, our next door neighbours have apparently already been in touch with our landlords about the issues, but they've been no help at all.

Getting off that subject....as I've said before, December is not my favourite month as it holds so many sad memories, especially at Christmas time, which is why I'm so ambivalent about it.  I haven't been feeling remotely Christmassy thus far, I didn't even think I'd put up the Christmas tree this year.  Husband has always been very Bah Humbug about Christmas, but, somewhat oddly, in the past couple of weeks he's been talking about getting gammon, pork and lamb or beef joints in, along with several bottles of booze - so far he's mentioned he'd like whisky, ginger wine, port and red wine.  It beats me why - with regard to the meat joints....he's the only one who eats them so just how much meat does he think he's going to eat?  And Christmas is only 2 or 3 days anyway, so why does he need 3 or 4 joints of meat?  As for the booze - neither of us drinks alcohol except for possibly a glass or 2 on rare special occasions - I haven't drunk alcohol for several years now, and husband isn't supposed to drink anyway, in view of the 15 medications he takes daily, mostly for his heart issues.  I can just about understand him wanting a couple of glasses of wine with his Christmas dinner, but not a selection of assorted bottles of the strong stuff.  

Yesterday evening we went into town for the Christmas stalls and entertainment and the lights switch-on.  Town was absolutely heaving, as we knew it would be, but there was a lovely festive atmosphere with lots of families - many local crafts, gifts and foodie stalls, lots of Christmas tunes blaring out from speakers, carol singing and street entertainment.  It was all very friendly and happy, absolutely no trouble spots.  The lights switch on was great, with lots of oohing and ahhing....we didn't see the tree, far too many people to get near - once the switch on had been done, we made our way through the crowds back to the car and went home.  It actually made me feel quite festive, so I will put up the tree - I even bought a bagful of tree baubles to add to the ones I've already got. 

Sayings, and neighbour/privacy problems

 Yesterday's post and all your comments on things our parents/grandparents used to say got me wondering about what things we say that we might be remembered for.

I'm partially deaf, I can only really hear what people say if they're standing in front of me and facing me - I cannot hear them if they're behind me, or when there's a lot of background noise, like outside in the street or in a busy shop, e.g.  I also can't really hear people speaking if there are appliances in operation - like the TV, radio, hoover or microwave for example.  I certainly can't hear what someone's saying  if they're in another room.....something that husband does persistently, every single day, as he forgets every time that I'm deaf!  So the thing I'll be remembered for (I'd have it on my headstone, if I was going to have one, which I'm not!) is "I can't hear you!!".

Husband's will be "It wasn't me" - his standard and immediate response whenever anybody asks if or why he's done/not done something.....his automatic response is to deny all knowledge.  He gets that from his mother, she was exactly the same, wouldn't admit to anything even in the face of overwhelming evidence.

So what's your memorable saying likely to be?

Husband has cooked the dog food this morning, a mixture of chicken and beef mince with vegetables.  The smell of meat cooking nowadays makes me want to heave, I can only do it with the kitchen windows and outside door open, to get rid of the smell as quickly as possible.  Husband offered to do it this morning though, so I happily agreed....even though I have to wipe up all the splattered fat and meat juices afterwards, which he seems oblivious to 😒.  One job out of the way.

The neighbour whose garden backs onto our own - well, it's not a garden, he has that at the back of his house, this space is basically his car parking area across the road from his house - is having the old barn in the space converted to a holiday let, he's got planning permission.  He's doing a lot of the work himself, he's already started by digging up the row of trees and shrubs all along our shared boundary fence, a waist-high fence, he's intending to erect what he says will be a 5ft high picket type fence along his side.  As the ground on his side is quite a bit lower than our side, it will probably only be around 4ft high.  At the moment, with just the waist-high fence on our side, we are very overlooked and have no privacy in our garden or our back windows - kitchen and my bedroom.  Once the barn is converted (it's currently single-storey but will be two-storey - and with a small balcony - when completed) we'll have even less privacy.  Our next door neighbours are similarly affected.  I can't imagine how he got planning permission, actually - it was applied for and granted before we moved here.  We're not at all happy about it but don't know what we can do - I doubt whether complaints to the Planning Dept would be taken into consideration when the plans have already been approved.  So we've been thinking about what to do from our side that will give us more privacy.  We're going to have trellising put up all along the top of our fence, so we can grow climbers up it, for a start, although we're not doing it until the neighbour has put his fence up.  I don't want to put our trellising up only for it to give him an excuse not to put up high - or even any - fencing on his side, so we'll wait to see what his new fence is like first.  I've also ordered some tall shrubs - after googling for suitable evergreen flowering shrubs that will get to around 6 or 7 ft high, I decided on Ceanothus, Californian lilacs, they're arriving next week I think, they're currently around 5ft tall apparently.  So they will give us some added privacy.

It's always difficult I think when there are neighbour problems.....he's friendly enough but is a bit of a loud arrogant type who acts like he's lord of the manor (he lives in a big old stone house).  I don't want to fall out with neighbours, having had neighbour problems in years past.  Our next door neighbour years ago first started a dog breeding business from his back garden, you can imagine the noise and smell that caused, then when the Council put a stop to that, he moved out but rented the house out to a couple of prostitutes who ran a brothel from there!  The police 'encouraged' them to leave, thankfully.  So basically we'll just resolve the privacy problem from our side, as far as we can.

Mum's sayings

 Happy Hooker commented yesterday on something my Mum used to say to us as kids - if she asked us to do something which we didn't want to do, she would say "What's up with you, got a bone in your leg?".  It got me thinking about other things Mum said, which made no sense to me at the time but I knew they generally meant 'do it or else', or something along those lines.  E.g. - "If the wind changes your face will stay like that" - if we were scowling or looking miserable.  "Do you want me to come over there and slap your backside?" - I always had the urge to answer her back and say 'yes go on then' but was savvy enough to know that she would if I did!  "Don't go out with wet hair, you'll catch your death of cold" - really?!  "Get that muck off your face and put some clothes on, you're not going out like that!" - during my teenage years when I was pushing the boundaries and wanting to follow fashion.  "Don't sit so close to the TV, you'll get square eyes" - this was always my brothers being told that.  "Just wait till your father gets home, then you'll know what's what!" - said when Mum was fed up with trying to deal with our squabbles.  As we were nearly always in bed asleep by the time he got home, we hardly ever saw him anyway so it was a bit of an empty threat.  Then there was "Eat your greens, there are starving kids in Biafra who'd be glad of that".  Again, I always wanted to say 'well send it to them then!' - and sometimes did say it, which often earned me a clip round the ear....I was quite a defiant child and frequently answered back.  We were also often told "Eat your dinner or you'll get it for breakfast".....although I don't ever recall Mum actually doing that.  What did you get told as a child?

The hairdresser, Bethany, was lovely and did a really good cut, so I'll be having her regularly from now on.

It's the Christmas lights switch on in the town tomorrow evening, lots going on, carols, lantern parade, farmers market, local food and craft stalls, most shops staying open late, and free parking in all town car parks.  The weather looks ok, so we're planning on going.

Nice walk, albeit cold, and getting husband motivated

 We had bright sunshine all day yesterday, which was lovely, although it was still cold.  I'd put washing out on the line first thing in the morning....when I got it in though about 3.30, it was still nearly as wet as when I'd put it out, the sun doesn't really get into our back garden this time of year and there was next to no wind to move the washing around either.

We decided to drive into town and go for a walk by the harbour - well, I decided, husband would have been happy to doze in his armchair in front of the endless same old boring daytime crap on the TV.  But I feel it's important to get out and about while we can, both for exercise and mental health reasons.  I think we also need to make the most of the sunshine during the winter, rather than just being stuck indoors all the time.  It was nice to be out and about, but was very cold - like our back garden, the sun wasn't over the harbour so was blimmin freezing in the shade.  The harbour cafe wasn't open either, which was annoying (it's on winter opening hours, so just weekends basically) - we'd have had a cup of hot chocolate if it had been.  Never mind, we had one when we got home.  I took a few photos:-

The steep hillside garden of one of the cottages facing the harbour - very steep climb up loads of steps to the sitting area at the top, but worth it I should think for the wonderful views they must get over the harbour from up there.

Lovely view across the Bristol channel, such a bright day that the coastline of south Wales was clearly visible.

I've got some stuff to do on the computer this morning, then this afternoon a mobile hairdresser is coming to cut my hair.  First time of having her, I asked on the local FB page for recommendations and her name was mentioned several times.  If I like her and the cut, then I'll be having her regularly from now on.

Over the past week or so, I've been having a problem with my blog roll - some posts from blogs I regularly read aren't appearing on my daily new post roll for several hours, or even until the next day - and that includes my own new posts.  If I look up the blogs individually from my blog roll their new posts are there, but not shown on the daily blog roll for some unknown reason.  Anybody else found this, or is it just me?

Because husband has no hobbies and the jobs he does are mainly outside/garden ones, during the winter he rarely does anything or goes out, except for his gym hour 3x weekly - and even then he doesn't always go if the weather's bad or he's 'got a bone in his leg' as my Mum used to say when us kids didn't want to do something!  So, unless I prompt him to do something or get us to go out somewhere, during winter if left to his own devices he would simply vegetate his life away, doing nothing at all.  He would literally doze in his armchair in front of the telly all day long, every day.  Not good for him at all, and it irritates me when I'm busy (I can always find something to do) and the blasted TV is blaring away to itself whilst he's asleep.  He grumbles when I insist on us going out and doing something, but I just remind him that I'm looking after both his health and mine, we need to keep active or we'll become immobile.  It is a bit of an uphill struggle though to keep him motivated.

Oh dear, and not a lot else

 Not a good start to the day (or week) - husband went out to the car to go to the gym but discovered the front driver's side tyre was flat as a pancake.  He's not up to changing wheels/tyres now (and in any case apparently we've only got one of those temporary space saver spare tyres), so called a local mobile tyre fitter.  He's just been and changed the tyre (it was a screw stuck in it which had caused the puncture), he checked the other front tyre and said that needs changing too, as the tracking is out and has caused uneven wear.  Husband's just gone to the garage to have another tyre fitted and tracking seen to - so an expensive day.  Oh well, needs must.

I've made a lovely caramelised leek (our own homegrown leeks), sun dried tomato and cheese tart for dinner, to use up a couple of lumps of cheeses which needed using quickly.  Also made an Eve's pudding to get rid of some bruised apples......bit of nostalgia, Mum used to make Eve's puddings a lot when we were kids, or she sometimes used tinned peaches, pears or pineapple instead of the apples.  We had puddings quite a lot when we were young, I suspect to fill up us growing kids with hollow legs.  Nowadays, we rarely have them, although saying that, husband usually has a flavoured yogurt, or sometimes custard with a sliced banana.  I generally have a piece of fruit if I fancy something sweet to finish off.

Going to town to have a wander round the shops tomorrow, not done that for a while, I need to go to the library too.

Nothing else going on, so not much to say, sorry!  Shoulder is still extremely painful, I'm trying to ignore it, I'm doing the exercises daily as recommended.

Exercises

 The musculoskeletal specialist was the same lady I saw around 18 months ago, back then she diagnosed a rotator cuff injury to my left shoulder.  This time it's the right shoulder, she says it's also a rotator cuff injury with subacromial (spelling?) pain, whatever that is, I haven't googled it.  She said it may also be a frozen shoulder.  She did a lot of manipulations to my arm and shoulder and said it's significantly weaker than the left one.  She doesn't think it's arthritis or osteoporosis though, which I was concerned about, so that's good.  She's referred me to physio but said the referral will take months to come through, as they're very short staffed and have a huge backlog.  In the meantime, she's given me a sheet of exercises to do daily, to build up the muscle strength.  If things haven't improved in 8 weeks, I'm to go back to her and she'll arrange for a steroid injection and x-ray.  

After all the manipulations she did, my shoulder currently hurts like hell and is keeping me awake, hence why I'm writing this at 03.50 am.  I've already had painkillers and am now sitting in my recliner chair with my hot wheat bag on the shoulder, although even the weight of the bag hurts...the warmth is nice though.

Husband wants us to go and buy some meat for him for Christmas, he wants a gammon and a pork joint.  I've not really thought about what I might have, Christmas isn't really on my horizon yet.  I do like salmon though, so perhaps that.  

The neighbour who died was 90, so a long life, and was apparently reclusive and solitary by choice.  I wonder what she did all day? She had no pets and clearly wasn't a gardener.

Mortality

 It was a bit of an unsettling day yesterday, one of the residents of our little cul de sac died.  When we first moved here, we were given a quick rundown of who lived where, so we could identify our new neighbours.  The lady in question, we were told, was an elderly lady on her own who was housebound and a recluse, she apparently didn't appreciate visitors.  In all the time we've lived here (2 years next month, where did that go?) I have never seen her....husband saw her very briefly once back in the summer when he went and knocked on her door, having noticed a parcel on her doorstep for 2 or 3 days.  He said she took a while to open the door, then simply took the parcel, said a very quick thank you and shut the door without any conversation.  Of course, living in a sheltered housing community of elderly and disabled people, deaths are bound to happen on a fairly regular basis, we know of 3 others this year on the far side of the complex.  It makes us aware of our own mortality as we're getting older ourselves.

Winter is my least favourite time of year, I really don't like the cold and often rainy/windy weather, I seem to feel the cold much more nowadays.  December is a sad month for me, particularly around Christmas time, which is why I'm quite ambivalent about it.  My mother died on Christmas Eve, my beloved Nanna on Boxing day, and a very good friend of mine on the 13th December.  My lovely aunt, Mum's youngest sister who was just 12 years older than me and more like my big sister, had her birthday on 4th December, although she actually died in July.  So the sooner December ends, the better as far as I'm concerned.  It's the winter solstice on 21st December, after which the days start gradually getting longer - that's only 30 days away and the time will go quickly, so I look forward to that.

It's a hard frost and very cold this morning, although it's bright sunshine.  I have washing to go out, but am waiting for the sun to get rid of the frost first (hopefully!) before I brave the cold to put the washing on the line.

I have my diagnostic appointment with the musculo-skeletal specialist this afternoon, hopefully I'll get some answers and a treatment plan.  This constant and very debilitating shoulder pain is really getting me down, the strong painkillers do take the edge off the pain but I'm reluctant to take the full 4 doses per day - well I just don't, I only take 1 or 2, they make me terribly constipated (for which I have another med to relieve that) and a bit woozy and spaced out.  I'm not a fan of taking especially painkilling meds anyway - if you take the full doses on a regular basis then your body gets used to them and they're no longer so effective.  And then there's the problem of having to take a further med to counteract the side effects, which I really don't like having to do.  But needs must at the moment.

The lovely sunshine does appear to be burning off the frost, so I think it's probably warm enough to go and put my washing out now - with a fleece jacket and fingerless gloves on!  We've no snow forecast down here - have you got snow where you are?