Motivation!

 After some furniture shifting and a couple of days of bending down a lot and moving things around, my back is killing me and it feels like I may have pulled a muscle in my shoulder.  A hotter than usual shower this morning and a dose of painkillers have eased things, today I'll be making sure I keep moving and do some gentle stretches, it'll soon wear off.  

I guess I knew I'd be suffering today, but I was trying to show husband that sometimes, if there are jobs which need doing, you just have to get on and do them and sod the consequences.  As for the pain and stiffness, well you just have to grin and bear it.  Husband lacks motivation more and more nowadays, if something is difficult (or he just plain doesn't want to do it), he gives up and it never gets done.  I have to remind him sometimes that even with his health issues, he has far greater physical strength than me and there are some things I just can't do - well, not without his help anyway.  On Tuesday at the community physio thing we went to, husband was told by 2 physiotherapists that he must do the exercises he was given, and some walking at a pace that will make him mildly breathless, every day.  He does take Betty out twice a day (except when it's raining), but that's just a slow and gentle stroll around the estate, which takes 10 minutes and neither of them is out of breath when they come back.  To be fair, Betty doesn't want long energetic walks now anyway.  Husband was also told by the physios that it would be a very good idea for him to go back to the gym, asking one of the trainers there for a personalised exercise programme.  But he doesn't want to.  He did a couple of the exercises, for probably less than 10 minutes, on Wednesday morning but has done none since, when I asked if he was going to do some today he said no, his back was hurting.  I reminded him that the physio said the more he stays sitting in his armchair doing nothing, the greater the likelihood that his muscles will atrophy and he won't then be able to do anything!

Before anyone says it, I don't think he's depressed - he had a period of clinical depression some years ago and he's nothing like he was then.  I do however think he's kind of mourning the loss of his previous fit and active life, but he's focusing too much on what he can no longer do, instead of embracing what he can do.  I've just got to keep trying to get him motivated....even though it does feel like I'm always nagging him or poking him with a cattle prod.  I'm pretty sure he's worrying about his possible dementia diagnosis too - when I ask him though he just shrugs and says no.  I've pointed out that people with dementia can live reasonable lives for many years - look at the actress Prunella Scales, she had dementia for 10 years or more and still regularly went canal boating with her husband Timothy West.  And he died before she did!  If husband does have some kind of dementia, well then I know things will deteriorate at some point...but I don't want to have to face the prospect of having to do everything myself and care for someone who just sits there like a statue starting from now!  We've still got reasonably active lives to live for a while yet, and I'm bloody well determined that we will do exactly that.  We're not dead yet!

A zombie apocalypse?

 It's sunny and dry for the next few days, so lovely washing drying weather, we'll also be able to get out in the garden and finish off the weeding, pruning and general tidying for winter.  I've also got some Spring bulbs to plant in pots.

My zombie apocalypse box of emergency supplies is almost complete now, the only things I still need to get are dry dog food and a few treats for Betty, and some crackers, biscuits, nuts and dried fruit for us.

I've been thinking about what disasters might befall us, meaning we might need the contents of the box.  We're a smallish village near a small town in a rural area here in the west country, there are no munitions factories or air/sea bases nearby, so I can't imagine that any foreign enemies would be wanting to bomb us.  There is a nuclear power station along the coast at Hinkley Point, around 20 miles away, which I suppose could be a cause for concern....Google tells me that we are unlikely to be affected by the initial blast, should it blow up, but might possibly be affected by radiation.  But I think it being blown up is a fairly remote possibility, so I'm certainly not worrying about it, I would have thought the ones on the east coast are more likely to be targets.

Flooding isn't really much of a likelihood here - during periods of extremely heavy rain, a river up in the hills on Exmoor above our village does occasionally burst its banks, but the water flows down the main village road out onto the main road, bypassing our estate....neighbours say they've never known it to flood our estate in the 12 years they've lived here.  I'm guessing the most likely 'disasters' would be electricity or water being cut off, for whatever reasons, a power outage meaning we'd also have no internet or landline phone, tv or radio.  We've obviously both got mobile phones, I've ordered a powerbank to charge them.  We've got plenty of torches, battery lights and candles, plus the gas cartridge operated camping hob - we've used it a couple of times and it works well heating up water or a saucepan of food.  I know our neighbours have a wind-up radio.  I suppose it could be a good idea for us to get one, as without his beloved TV husband would be bored stiff!!  If the electricity went off for any length of time we'd obviously have to eat up whatever fresh food was in the fridge first.  We have lots of fleece blankets so would be able to keep warm.  The portapotti I recently bought would come in very handy if we couldn't flush our toilet!  I've got packs of wet wipes in the zombie box for washing purposes - and loo roll of course!  So I think we're pretty much covered.  I still think it's scaremongering by the Government though - I bet none of them are buying extra supplies, they'll all be safe and sound in their bunkers or safe rooms, us little people will be left to fend for ourselves.

So I've got emergency supplies because I think it's sensible, not because I genuinely think there's any likelihood of an actual emergency, or that we need to be worried about it happening.  What about you?

A good thing....and then No thank you!

 Husband's first physio appointment (for his bad back) this morning was held in the sports centre of the local college, it was a community event - physios there along with representatives from lots of local organisations, such as AgeUK, SASP which is a collaboration between local GPs and sports facilities, various other activities and facilities.  The idea being that you are first assessed by a qualified physiotherapist and then offered targeted exercises and recommendations for other things like local gyms or swimming pools.  Then you go on to look around the other activities and facilities and choose if you'd like to take up any of them.  I suppose it's a good idea, getting everything together in one place and it was quite well organised....but being held in a big very echo-ey hall with high ceilings, and being quite crowded, it was ridiculously noisy.  With my impaired hearing, with so much background noise going on I could hardly hear a word any of the professionals were saying to us.  The very knowledgeable physio deduced, after thoroughly examining husband and testing his movements, that his lower back pain is muscular in origin, exacerbated by his age and general lack of exercise/movement (I could have told husband all of that!).  He's been given a couple of sheets of exercises targeted at his lower back pain, and they stressed he really needs to actually do the exercises and get moving in general if he wants to alleviate his back pain and early morning stiffness.  Again, things I've been telling him for ages....but of course he takes no notice of me!  So let's see if he actually does what someone else tells him!

Afterwards we went for lunch in Morrisons cafe - husband really likes it there (mainly because it's pretty cheap!) but it's not my favourite place to go.  Husband liked his meal - cod, chips and mushy peas, but I wasn't very impressed with mine - cheese & onion quiche, chips and beans.  The beans were ok, but the chips were undercooked and the quiche was overwhelmingly salty, I couldn't taste anything else in it.  Husband suggested that we go there for my birthday treat when his daughter and SiL are down visiting in a couple of weeks and have offered to take me out for a meal, their treat.  No thanks - hardly what I would call a treat!  It was busy, chaotic, untidy (discarded napkins and spills on the tables and floor) and very noisy, I thought it resembled a transport cafe.  Anyway, I've already chosen a place that does a lovely Sunday roast (we've eaten there before), which husband had obviously and unsurprisingly, forgotten about.  The good thing about the lunch out is that I don't have to cook anything for dinner tonight!  Husband says he'd like cheese on toast - fine by me.

I've now had three separate 'invitations' in less than a week to have lung cancer screening - do they know something I don't?!  As I only smoked 10 a day for about 5 years and gave up over 40 years ago, I don't really think I'm in much danger of getting lung cancer, but I'll have the test anyway, if only to get them off my back! 😂  The initial screening is a phone interview, you're only referred for scans if they think from the initial questions that you may be at risk.  So I'm sure it'll just be the phone thing.  It's good that they're being proactive and doing preventative stuff, I guess....obviously far better to catch things like cancer early.

Nothing on now for the rest of the week, so I might do some more sorting out - we didn't do our shoes when we did the recent clothes cull.  I also need to sort out some books for the charity shop.  I plan on making some soups using the homegrown veggies I froze a few weeks back, it's definitely soup weather now.

This and that

 I had my physio appointment at 8.30 this morning.  Jodie and I have agreed I don't need another appointment anytime soon as my shoulder is so much better, in terms of pain (minimal) and greatly improved strength and range of movement.  She's left the referral open until the end of January, I'm to speak to her on the phone then and if things are the same, then she'll discharge me....or book me in for another appointment and a second cortisone injection, if necessary.  She gave me another resistance band (a length of stretchy plastic in other words), a stronger one this time as my shoulder strength has improved so much, with advice to continue the exercises at least 2 or 3 times a week.  Great, that's one less health appointment to have to plan now.

Another cold, wet and windy day, I even wore my big winter coat for the first time this season when we went out this morning.  Looking at the forecast, it'll be Thursday I think before I'm able to get any washing out on the line.  Night time temperatures are dropping into single figures from Wednesday, so I'll be grateful for my own personal hot water bottle (dog) lying beside me!  She's not under the duvet with me, I wouldn't have that, she lies on top, but she stretches her full length right beside me pressed up against my side - lovely, except when I want to turn over and she's totally immobile - and very heavy - making it hard to move.  Plus I have to wrench the duvet out from under her.  But I'm not complaining, I love that she wants to sleep with me every night.

I've pottered around doing several small jobs this morning, husband has been slumped in his recliner chair dozing all morning....anyone would think he didn't sleep at night!  I had to wake him up at 7.20 this morning as he showed no signs of getting up and we were having to leave the house around 8.10.  He could sleep for England 😒.  I know he's getting older and slowing down - aren't we all?!  But if I didn't prompt him to get up out of his chair and do something, or give him a specific job to do, he would literally doze his life away doing absolutely nothing all day every day.  He's so much worse in the winter.  I keep thinking he's like this now, he'll be even less active in the future IF he's diagnosed with some form of dementia.  He keeps being told by medical professionals that he should be as active as possible.....unfortunately, it's me who has to poke him with a big stick (figuratively speaking of course!) to get him to be more active, and then he gets grumpy and snappy with me.  Sometimes I do think oh well leave him to it, it's his life and if he wants to doze himself to death, so be it.  But that's not me and I don't want it for him either.

When I looked in the mirror this morning to do my hair....and then realised I don't have to as it's so short now.....I thought I really hate my hair now, both the shortness and the horrible dark grey colour.  Can't wait for it to grow out.  Well, at least now it's virtually the same (very short) length all over, it'll hopefully grow out much more even, rather than the thin wispy mess it was before.  Either that or buy a wig!! 😂

Hair disappointment and pizza bargains

 Well, I cut (with husband's help on the back) and coloured my hair this morning.....suffice it to say I don't like it.  The colour certainly isn't the 'metallic silver' shown on the pack, it's more gunmetal grey, much too dark for my liking.  The top bit of my hair is fine, as is the very short back, but I went up too high on the sides, it doesn't really suit my face shape having it that short at the sides.  I wash my hair every other day so the colour will soon fade to a lighter shade, thankfully.  It also grows fairly quick which I'm happy about....in a couple of weeks it'll be much better.  Over the past few days I've crocheted myself 4 different coloured headband/ear warmers which all look good, so when I go out I'll be wearing one of those!  Oh well, I tried - I wouldn't say it's a disaster but I won't be doing either the cut or the colour the same next time!  The colour is definitely the most disappointing aspect, having had very light blonde and latterly faded light silvery grey all my life, dark grey is not my preferred colour at all.  Never mind.

It's been raining on and off all morning and is still very windy - husband attempted to take Betty for a walk but she didn't want to know, after just a couple of minutes she indicated she'd had enough and turned back home.  Don't blame her!  The sun has literally just come out but there are still black clouds hovering.  I did some washing this morning and have been waiting to put it out, but I think I'll put it on my new heated airer instead, the sun having gone straight back in again.

On Saturday evenings we've got into the habit of having a pizza for tea whilst watching Strictly.  I didn't have one in the freezer yesterday, so we went to Tesco to get one.  It turned out they had a meal deal offer on some of the pizzas (The Pizza Company ones), 2 large pizzas, 2 sides and a dip for £10.  I added up how much it would have cost to buy all the things separately, it came to £19.10 so quite a saving.  We chose a multi cheese pizza and a bbq chicken and bacon one, for sides we picked out a pack of lattice fries and a garlic flatbread, plus a bbq sauce dip.  Each of the pizzas were huge, we had half of the cheese one between us for tea last night, plus the lattice fries (which were lovely) and the bbq dip, also lovely.  The rest of the pizza is for lunch today with a bit of salad, the other one went in the freezer along with the garlic flatbread.  The flatbread is smaller than the pizzas, I intend to put some more toppings on it - maybe some roasted veggies and cheese - and have it as another pizza another day.  So the 2 pizzas and sides will actually do us for 5 separate meals for the two of us, with some veg or salad or beans on the side, which works out at £2 for each 2 portions, plus the sides.  Bargain!  The offer is on until 29 November, so I might well get it again (no room in the freezer at the moment).  

Our Tesco is undergoing a refit, it's chaos in there right now, empty shelves everywhere, everything moved around into different aisles, the toiletries, meds, baby stuff have all been moved into a marquee out in the car park.  There are notices up saying there are dedicated Shoppers Helpers carrying boards (like lollipop ladies).....erm, we've only seen one, who promptly vanished as soon as I saw her.  So shopping takes twice as long right now - there are Morrisons and Lidl in the same area but Tesco is my preferred shop.  I've asked 2 different staff members when the refit will be completed.....both of them shrugged and said they don't know, they haven't been told, but hopefully before Christmas!  It's not been very busy over the last couple of weeks since they started the refit - I'm guessing a lot of shoppers have deserted them for Morrisons, quite understandably.

I've got physio tomorrow morning, husband has his on Tuesday.  I think I'll tell my physiotherapist I don't need to go anymore, my shoulder is heaps better since I had the cortisone injection.  Other than that we've got nothing on this week, I don't think.

Bit blowy!

 Betty's fine now, back to normal after 2 doses of the anti nausea meds.  I hate seeing her unwell - although she is much more affectionate then, she wants to be with me all the time and leans against me for comfort, bless her.  Now she's back to her usual aloof self! 😂  Albeit being aloof in the same room as me, she still likes to follow me around from room to room.

Last night it rained heavily all night, no wind though, but then this morning the wind got up to gale force level and is only just beginning to abate a bit now.  Brief bits of sunshine in between rain showers, the rain droplets being hurled against the windows by the force of the wind.  We've got away relatively unscathed, apart from a bit of trellis hanging off and some plant pots blown around.  Next door's barn tarpaulin is still in place, just about, although has been torn loose along one edge and is in danger of being ripped off....still, that's their lookout, they must know about it, the builder and Mr X have been working in the barn all morning.  Oddly enough my sister up in the East Midlands said it was fine there this morning, no wind or rain, she sent me a photo of 6 parakeets on her feeding station around 10.30 am.

I've been sent a text from the NHS offering me a lung cancer screening assessment, saying my GP has identified me as being at potential risk.  News to me.  I guess it's because I used to smoke years ago - I smoked about 10 a day from my late teens to early 20s, so a period of about 5 years, 45+ years ago, a very long time ago and not a heavy smoker.  So I shouldn't think I am at risk, but I expect I'll go ahead with the assessment, it's free and probably just an initial phone thing.  Husband hasn't had the offer, surprisingly - he smoked more than me and for a longer period, and his father died of lung cancer, I would have thought he was a more likely candidate.  Perhaps they're doing it in phases.

No plans for this weekend - we certainly won't be car booting, I expect it will be cancelled anyway which is a pity as it's the last one of the season.....heavy rain and winds forecast all day tomorrow and again on Sunday morning, although it looks as though it might be better by the afternoon.  We really ought to get out in the garden and do the last bits of pruning and weeding before winter.

Are you all safe where you are, have any of you been affected by the storm?  

Oh dear

 Not a good start to today, I seem to be stuck in a cycle of bad nights, last night I woke just before 3.00 am and couldn't get back to sleep for hours.  Just as I did, around 6.30 ish, I was woken up a few minutes later by husband shouting at Betty, who was being sick in the lounge - he's got absolutely zero patience with her nowadays.  I said he shouldn't shout at her, it's not her fault, she's not being naughty or doing it on purpose, she just doesn't feel well!  I reminded him that I didn't shout at him when he was unwell and crapping on the hall carpet a few weeks back.  😒 So Betty's on a no-food day whilst her stomach recovers, her stomach is gurgling loudly so is obviously acidic again.  I'm sure she'll be better tomorrow, I've got a packet of her anti-sickness meds from the vet....I'll give her one later, no point in doing it now whilst she's throwing up (3x so far this morning, thankfully the last 2 were outside).  She's a bit restless and subdued, but not too bad.  She's had a few sips of water and is now dozing in her bed beside my feet, sleep is a good healer.

At least I've managed to get washing out on the line, there are a few hours of dry weather and spells of sunshine forecast before it starts raining later on this afternoon, continuing through the night with strong winds due to Storm Austen.  Predictions of 60 mph gusts here, not quite as bad as some areas though.  Mr X next door has blue tarpaulin fixed over the roof of his barn he's having refurbished, I hope it stays put!  We'll have to go out in the garden later and make sure everything, including the garden furniture, is battened down.  We've got candles and torches in the event of a power cut, plenty of fleece blankets to keep all 3 of us warm and the camping gas stove to heat water and food if required.  I'm sure we'll be fine, I hope you all stay safe.