Veg (again), people dying and bad tempers

 After spending nearly 2 hours yesterday doing veg prep, my back and shoulder were killing me - the pain from my shoulder was shooting down my arm to my elbow and up into my neck and the arm was so weak I could barely lift it.  A couple of cocodamol and a cold compress on my shoulder for half an hour made the pain ease off though.  Still 6 weeks to go before I get my cortisone injection.  This morning my cleaner Hayley was here so I kept occupied and out of her way by staying in the kitchen doing yet more veg prep - blanching French beans (another 3 bags full frozen) and making pasta sauce for tonight's dinner.  I've used home grown tomatoes, courgettes and shallots, flavoured with a fresh chilli (husband's sister brought us 2 chilli plants) and some balsamic vinegar.  Sam, thank you for reminding me I can freeze tomatoes raw for making sauces and soups, I'd forgotten about that.....even though I did it last year.  I've told husband not to bring in any more veg for a couple of days, I'm sick of the sight of it at the moment! 😂  I gave some French beans to a neighbour this morning, and some more courgettes to my cleaner, who insists she loves them.

I see the birder and comedian Bill Oddie has died, sadly - famous people seem to be dropping like flies this year.  I suppose lots of the famous people who we grew up watching on the TV are now - well - old, so they're bound to be coming to the end of their lives.

Husband is being very crotchety, argumentative, confrontational and downright horrible lately....maybe he's been affected by his sister's visit and seeing her very obviously going downhill, I don't know.  Or it's just how he is now!  I keep biting my tongue and walking away, but must admit it's taking the shine off our holiday coming in September, I do hope he's not going to be a pain in the backside the whole week we're away.  My sister reckons I should be extra-nice to him - "Kill him with kindness" in her words - she means smothering him with love and nice gestures of course, not overfeeding him with cake 😜😁.  I don't know whether I could sustain that though, that's more her style than mine, she's a much nicer person than me!  Incidentally, she calls him Mr Grumpypants!

I must get on with my crocheting tomorrow, I've sort of let it fall by the wayside recently.....it's a cardigan to take away with me on holiday.  I've done the back, one front and am more than halfway through the other front, so the sleeves, cuffs and edging to do....and sewing it up of course.

An excess of everything

 At the moment it's all about veg preparation.  Today I'm roasting a couple of trays of home grown root veggies, one lot will be eaten for dinner today and cold for lunch tomorrow, the other trayload will be frozen.  Tomorrow I'll be blanching and freezing a mountain of French beans, and making a panful of pasta sauce to freeze, using the tomatoes which are now ripening by the dozen, plus some of the glut of shallots, and of course the ever-present courgettes.  We eat courgettes in some form or another several times a week - either grated in a frittata, fried or roasted or made into fritters, I also roast and freeze a trayful at a time for soups later in the year.  I have to keep on top of it all and deal with some every day, otherwise it just gets overwhelming.  I know it's very much a first world problem and I am grateful to have the 'problem' of too much veg, but it is a lot of work.  Years ago I used to make jams and chutneys (we've always grown veg and fruit) but don't nowadays as we rarely eat them anymore, with us both being diabetic.  We've also now got a glut of mini cucumbers, some of which aren't mini as husband always misses a few when he's gone out to pick them.  Luckily, I do like fresh home grown cucumber grated or finely chopped and mixed with Greek yogurt and mint as a dip for veg sticks, or sliced on sourdough spread with Philly cheese and lots of black pepper.  

The trouble is, husband ALWAYS grows too much of everything - each year at the start of the sowing season we discuss what we're going to grow and I tell him how many of each veg plant I'd like to have.  Somehow he never takes much notice (which is typical of him) and grows at least double quantities of everything - his rationale is that some of them might not germinate so he always sows spares.  The problem is that nearly everything germinates, so he ends up with loads of seedlings.....instead of giving some away or even dumping the excess in the compost, he plants them all.  And then we have far too many.  E.g. the mini cues....I said I wanted just 2 plants, knowing how well they grow here - we have 6, and they're all producing loads of fruits.  The French beans are another prime example, he said there are about 10 plants (which would have been just right for us).....erm no, there are more than 2 dozen, it's no wonder we're inundated with them.  I've said that next year he either cuts down drastically - by at least half - on the amount of stuff he grows, or else he can't grow anything at all.  It's lovely to have home grown veg, but it's just so much extra work for me dealing with it all.  It's like everything husband does, and I know it's a feature of his cognitive impairment, he does everything to excess.

Husband's going through one of his very OTT obsessive phases again - he's back to checking our electricity meter (we haven't got a smart meter) nearly every day, working out exactly how much we've used and telling me constantly.  As we've got solar panels and have had so much sun every day for weeks now, we're hardly using any leccy....but husband thinks we must be as we have the fans on so much.  Oh and he's constantly switching the fans off if we leave the rooms for 5 minutes, which is blimmin annoying.  Oddly enough, he rarely switches the TV off!  He's switching all the kitchen appliances off at the sockets, which again is annoying as I have to keep switching them back on again.

It's so much cooler today, thank goodness - we haven't even had to switch the fans on yet, which will delight husband!  Our local forecast on my app yesterday said there was a chance of showers in the early hours of this morning......erm nope, the ground and flower beds are as dry as a bone still, and no water in the couple of garden trugs left outside.  This morning is the first time in weeks I haven't felt like I'm in a permanent state of hot flushes and night sweats - even though I'm well past the menopause.  Although, having said that, my mum always used to say she was still getting the odd hot flush and particularly night sweats well into her 70s.  Something to look forward to!

A restful day after the 'busyness' of the last few days

 So it's quite a bit cooler today, thankfully - still sunny and warm, with a few clouds and a nice breeze blowing to keep the temperature comfortable.  I gather the weather people are predicting yet another heatwave end of July/beginning of August, blimey, is this still England we're living in?  We've just had to order a new fan for the lounge, Betty was playing with a ball a couple of days ago and knocked the fan over, breaking it.  Husband shouted at her, but I reminded him it was just an accident and I don't shout at him every time he breaks something!  Betty frightened herself anyway when she knocked it over, she bolted to my side for reassurance.  It's due to be delivered today - we had quite a job finding one on the internet, so many are sold out (I wonder why?!).

We didn't do much on Thursday after SiL and niece went home, just rested.  Yesterday we did a big shop, went to the garden centre to buy a couple of hydrangeas, and took Betty to the vet to be weighed - new regulations state that she's got to be weighed before getting her twice-yearly doses of flea and tick meds.  £108 for six tablets, one a month - having pets is not for the faint hearted nowadays.  Thank goodness for our National Health!

Husband's got a bad back again, so have I actually but clearly not as bad as his, going on the amount of moaning and groaning he's doing 😉.  I guess I'm just more used to it as I've had a bad back ever since I had a prolapsed disc overstretching when playing tennis when I was 19.  I am absolutely shattered today, as a result of the relatives being here - a combination of doing more housework and cooking, being out and about sightseeing and lots and LOTS of talking.  It seems totally daft to say that talking wears me out but somehow it does - even though husband talks a lot when it's just us here (when he's not dozing in front of the TV) but he doesn't always require an answer.....or even me to listen to him, actually!   At least he's quieter today, apart from his theatrical groans every time he gets up out of his chair.  Whilst his sister and niece were here - well, when anyone's here actually - he never stops talking, he's a born performer and loves to be the centre of attention.  He did lose the thread of what he was saying, contradicted himself a few times and repeated himself a lot - all his normal cognitive impairment stuff, SiL and niece did notice that.  He also nodded off at one point in the middle of a conversation, prompting his sister to say "Are we boring you mate?" 😂

SiL is currently not on any medication at all for her lung cancer, although she said she's getting a sharp pain in her back now so will discuss pain relief along with chemo and/or radiotherapy treatment with her cancer nurse next week.  I hope she will accept something to help her.  Her daughter told me she is finding it very difficult to accept her mum's refusal to have any treatment thus far, but says she just has to go along with it.  I do feel so sorry for her.

Lots of reminiscing and lots of veg (too much!)

 It is lovely seeing SiL and niece, out of all husband's many siblings (he's one of 10) P is probably the one I have always got on best with.  It's certainly very bittersweet though - P is 18 months younger than my husband but now looks about 10 years older because of her illness, she's also extremely breathless and gets exhausted walking just a few paces, they've brought her wheelchair.  She's very down to earth and practical, she says she doesn't want anyone getting upset in front of her, in her own words she's had her life and is happy to meet her maker.  Her daughter E, however, is devastated - SiL had 3 children, 2 girls and a boy, E being the youngest - the eldest daughter and son both died in tragic circumstances (separately) as young adults.  Understandably, E is heartbroken at the thought of now losing her mother so soon, even earlier since SiL has thus far been refusing treatment.  However, due to E being so upset, SiL has now agreed to go over the treatment options again with her Macmillan nurse when they get back home - she's not promising to have treatment but will give it some more thought.  At the end of the day, it's her body and her decision, of course, but I for one do feel she should really take her daughter's feelings into account.

They've gone on the steam train this morning for a little jaunt out, so we've got time by ourselves before they come to join us this afternoon.  We had fish and chips on the seafront on Monday evening, lunch out yesterday, then a drive round to show them the sights before coming back to ours for dinner.  We've sat in the (wonderfully peaceful!) garden a few times, lots of reminiscing and laughter.  I'm doing a light dinner again this evening (P doesn't eat much now) and then they're coming to us for coffee and cake (I've just made an apple and cinnamon cake) tomorrow morning before they go home.

We're hoping they'll take some home grown veggies with them tomorrow, we are now inundated with veg:-

These French beans are just this morning's pickings which husband brought in and dumped on the table, he's been bringing in similar amounts every other day.  I have blanched and frozen a lot and he's given some away to neighbours, but it's getting to the stage where I am heartily sick of the sight of so much veg - and mostly the work involved in dealing with them.  He's also brought in around a dozen mini cucumbers......although some of them definitely aren't mini, they're more like very fat large courgettes.  Plus of course a ton of courgettes, we get several of them every day.  Next year I am putting my foot down about the amount of veg he grows - it's ridiculous, there's only the two of us and he grows enough to feed a small army - all well and good but I'm the one who has to deal with it all.  Some of our neighbours grow their own as well (our next door neighbours have an allotment and are themselves overrun with veg and keep trying to foist some on us!), so they don't always want much.  Now he's informed me there are dozens of beetroot and loads and loads of carrots ready to come in.  I'll be buried under a hillock of veg at this rate.  I know I shouldn't complain, I'm grateful to have a surplus of fresh food.....but I have enough to do as it is, without the added pressure of a ton of veg that needs dealing with pretty quickly before it goes off in this heat.

It is what it is

 There are times when I wish things could be different, that our lives could be different.  But they're not, it is what it is and wishing doesn't get us anywhere, so I just have to yank my big girl's pants up and get on with things.  Bearing in mind that the majority of our visitors (and we've had quite a lot in the 2.5 years we've lived here) are husband's relatives, not mine, it would be nice if he helped more with the planning, preparation and work.  But he doesn't, he does very little unless I specifically ask him to, and then I have to be very precise about exactly what I want him to do.  So I'm pretty much worn out and stressed by the time the visitors arrive, and this happens every time.  And now, this morning, he's thrown a curve ball and wants to change the plans I'd made.... having asked him last week what he'd like to do and him having shrugged and said he didn't mind, so leaving it all up to me in other words, as is usual.  Sometimes I would just love it if someone else took charge for a change.  Dream on girl, that's never gonna happen.

I feel a bit tearful this morning actually, it's going to be bittersweet seeing husband's sister and niece, with the knowledge that we probably won't see them again after this.  And it makes me sad that I'm not able to see more of my family.

As SiL continues to smoke, despite her lung cancer, we'll be sitting in the garden a lot, so it's a blessing that it's cooler now but still dry and warm.

Making memories for husband's terminally ill sister

 It's definitely cooler today, thank goodness, I don't think I could have stood even one more day of that heat.  I had a terrible night, worst one for ages, it was hot and humid and I was in so much pain with my shoulders and neck, had to take more painkillers in the middle of the night which is practically unheard of for me.  It's my own fault - I've been doing quite a bit of crocheting recently, although have only been able to do a couple of rows at a time before my hands get all hot and sweaty, even with my bedroom fan on.  I've done the back of the cardigan for me and had done about 2/3 of one of the fronts, I really wanted to get that finished before bedtime last night so kept going on it until I'd completed it.  I guess there was a bit of tension in my shoulders too as I was desperate to finish it, which didn't help my painful shoulder.  I certainly paid the price last night, my shoulders were absolute agony, no position was comfortable.  I got up and sat in my recliner chair for an hour, which wasn't that comfortable either (it's still too firm, hasn't softened up yet), then went in the lounge and sat in husband's new recliner - much softer.  Went back to bed around 3.30 am and finally got off to sleep.  I think I'll give crocheting a miss for a day or two, my shoulders need a rest.

We now have a brand new shower, thanks to the plumber yesterday who was very nice and helpful, it's got a bigger shower head than our previous one.  This morning, just before I got in the shower, husband proceeded to give me a tutorial on how to use it - as if I didn't know!  This new one is less complicated than the old one (which wasn't really complicated anyway), I think even a child could do it without help.  I just gritted my teeth then said "Thank you dear".  It was absolutely fine, no problems.

I've done a new menu plan and written a little shopping list for Monday morning, husband's sister and niece should be arriving mid afternoon.  I'll make scones in the morning for us to have when they arrive.  I'm planning on a quiche and salad for dinner.....if SiL is too tired to stay with us for the evening (as she may well be, it's a 3.5 hour journey and even though she's not driving, it'll probably tire her out), then I could pack up some quiche and salad in a cool bag for them to take back to their hotel room.

She likes going to cafes and tea rooms, so that's the plan for Tuesday and Wednesday - lunches in two of our favourite tea rooms, where P can have just coffee and cake if that's all she wants.  Picky bits buffets back at our place in the evening, so P doesn't feel pressurised to eat a full dinner (and I don't have to cook one!).  If she's up to it, we'll take her for short drives up on Exmoor and to the seafront, so she can sit in the car and enjoy the scenery.  We'd both like to make this short break a happy memorable one for her if we can, we'll take things at her pace and do whatever she wants.

Bring back winter 😉😜

 Our local weather app says it's currently 22 deg here, feeling like 23.  Well, I've just been putting the washing out in our sun trap of a garden and I would say it's at least 30, there's no breeze to mitigate it.  I'm so done with this heat now.

Husband spoke to his sister yesterday, he said she was so breathless she sounded like an old man who'd smoked 50 a day all his life.  So we won't be doing much, if any, walking whilst they're here.  She also said she's not got much of an appetite and eats mostly sweet things, so I'm rethinking my menu plans.  Although she's apparently been given a prognosis of 5 years - with treatment, which she's refusing to have - it doesn't sound like she'll last anywhere near that long, sadly.  Life's a bitch at times, isn't it?  😔

Just had a phone call from our landlord's plumber, he says he's got a cancellation this morning so can come to fix our shower - thank goodness.  It keeps switching itself off more and more the past few days, and we really need a working shower in this weather!

Happy Introvert, it's the same here, work isn't supposed to start until 8 am, but the builders next door have flouted that on numerous occasions.  And no I'm not going to report it.  As I've said several times before, it's not like it wakes us up, we're very early risers anyway, and I just think the earlier they start, hopefully the earlier they'll finish.  And it won't be going on forever, there will be an end to it and then peace will (hopefully) reign again once more.  I know I moan about the noise on here sometimes, but that's just my way of getting it off my chest.  No noise today, still no new builders appointed by the looks of things.

Nothing much being done today, the heat is draining me.