Need a sign on the door....

 ....saying "Enter at your peril!"  Or that cross that people put on their doors centuries ago if there was plague in the house.  😂

I calculated I had about 4 hours sleep last night.....heavy rain, husband back and forth to the bathroom, Betty being extremely restless and then throwing up twice early this morning (the first time in the doorway of my bedroom), and my ongoing overactive mind kept me awake, for the 4th or 5th night in a row.  Both Betty and husband are in bed asleep - well, on top of my bed in Betty's case, husband returned to his bed about half an hour ago.  At least it's peaceful here!

And now I've got the runs as well (think I'm coming out in sympathy with those two!), although I don't feel unwell with it, just very tired.  So this afternoon I might break the habit of a lifetime and actually lie on my bed for a snooze....if my mind will let me.

I've told husband, very firmly, that if he wants his guts to get better then he's got to do exactly as I say, eating only what I give him and ensuring he drinks more fluids.  All he had to drink by late yesterday afternoon was 3 or 4 cups of tea, until I made him drink a large glass of water.  And, despite him not feeling well, I caught him 2 or 3 times eating handfuls of salted nuts - which would dehydrate him even further, not to mention upsetting his guts more.  I've now hidden the nuts (which he bought himself) at the back of the baking stuff cupboard, he won't think to look there.  As I've said before, husband has always had a big appetite, he wants 3 meals a day plus snacks, and if he doesn't get them his stomach thinks his throat's been cut.  On the rare occasions when he doesn't want anything to eat, then I know he's really unwell.

Yesterday I found an extremely helpful and very detailed NHS diet thing especially for diverticular disease, it's here if anybody else needs it.  So now I can plan accordingly the type of meals husband can eat (and what he can't eat when he's in the throes of gut trouble).  Yesterday for dinner I made him a chicken, mushroom and white rice dish, I had tinned tomatoes on sourdough toast with a sprinkle of grated cheese on top, delish.  He likes pudding after his main meal, so I made something that I haven't made for years and years, we frequently had it as children - Mum called it blancmange but it was really a cheat's cheap version.  A packet of jelly crystals made up to half a pint, a tin of evaporated milk whisked until frothy and then stirred into the cooled jelly and put into the fridge to set, I thought it would be gentle on his stomach.  He loved it.

I've got over my little wobble of yesterday and feel back to my normal self.  I must say my 'normal' has changed over the past couple of years, I've become harder I think and certainly don't suffer fools gladly.  If friends or even family aren't very supportive or show much understanding, nowadays I just think "Ok, bye then" - if they don't make any effort, then nor do I.

At least there's one positive

 Since coming back from holiday - which was very relaxing and we had a good time - I've begun to feel like the walls are closing in on me again.  This isn't helped by lack of sleep, I've had some terrible nights recently, it's hard to switch my brain off - last night in particular, I was awake more than asleep.  The problem is nothing happens or gets done in our household without me planning, organising and arranging it, and quite a lot of me doing practical things myself.  There's just so much to do - over the next 3 weeks we have seven health appointments between us, plus another two for Betty.  And landlord's operatives coming twice for a couple of annual service jobs, plus another 'anytime' visit from one of them to come and inspect our bathroom vinyl flooring, which is lifting, so then it'll be yet another appointment for them to come and actually lift the flooring and lay new stuff.  So it's a lot of juggling and fitting in all these appointments.  In between, we've got the garden to tidy up, prune and generally get ready for winter, and a lot of Spring bulbs to plant.  And of course the upcoming dementia testing for husband is on my mind - not his, I asked him and he said he's not even been thinking about it.  I've had a few people telling me to put things out of my mind, cross that bridge when/if you come to it, etc etc.....I know they mean well but we're all different, we all do things in different ways.  If you're the sort of person who can put things out of your mind - all well and good.  But I'm not, I am and have always been a worrier.  I like to have a good idea of what might happen, so that I can plan accordingly, I really dislike things being sprung on me at the last minute and like to feel prepared.

Anyway, this morning we've been back to the vet, the lovely kind thoughtful John, as Betty has an ear infection again.  I also wanted to talk to him about my plan for her ongoing colitis (or whatever it is) treatment.  After a lot of thought, I've decided I don't want to take her to the big vet hospital in Wellington, which is 25 miles away.  Betty's insurance will only cover her for the cost of the diagnostic tests (blood and poo tests and scans or xrays), there'll be next to nothing left over to pay for treatment, if required.  And we simply can't afford to pay for expensive (very expensive there) ongoing treatment.  I hate that it comes down to cost, but the fact is, it does.  So I see little point in going all that way and putting her through all the tests, just to be certain of what's wrong with her and then not being able to afford treatment.  Our vet is fairly certain that it's a gut issue, probably colitis but possibly the dog form of Crohn's or inflammatory bowel disease.  As I mentioned the other day, having done all this research on bland diets suitable for dogs with gut issues and having made food for her, which she has mixed with some vet approved kibble for sensitive guts, I'm satisfied that she's having the best and most suitable diet I can give her and, more importantly, she really likes it and it seems to suit her, in that it calms her gut.  So I asked the lovely John if he thinks that maintaining this diet for her, along with giving her a low maintenance dose of the antacid meds, is a viable plan going forward.  He said yes it's a very viable plan, and indeed a very sensible one.  So that's a big weight off my mind, I'm very happy with that.

Now to husband, who's still having gut issues himself, he's still got the runs (no leakage accidents last night, thankfully).  The locum GP we saw a week or so before our holiday said he thinks husband has some form of diverticular disease, he said about husband having a blander diet (no spicy or high fat stuff, both of which he likes!), drinking more fluids, losing weight and taking more exercise as he has such a sedentary lifestyle.  I don't really know much about diverticular disease, I shall have to look it up and then come up with some plans for husband's meals.  So yet more stuff for me to do, it feels like I spend my life working in a kitchen for specialist diets, hence why I prefer such a plain and simple veggie diet for myself - at least a jacket spud with beans and/or tuna and cheese, or a cheese omelette or cheese on toast with salad things (bit of a cheese theme going on there!) is quick and easy!  If husband's guts don't settle down, then that means yet another visit to the GP for referral to hospital for further tests - a camera down his throat or up his backside or scans of some sort, I expect.  I'm so glad we don't have to pay for NHS treatment, we're very lucky in this country, even with the problems the NHS has.

I've decided I need to take 2 hours a day, in the afternoons, to spend in my room with the door closed and strict instructions to husband to only disturb me for something really important.  I've told him this before but he forgets, of course, and is always coming in to tell me about something very mundane like a programme he's watching on TV, or he's just killed 2 flies in the lounge, has spilt his drink on the floor or can't find the new box of teabags.  

I just need a couple of good sleeps (at night, I almost never nap during the day) and then everything will be fine again and I'll get my coping head back on.

Here we go again...plus soup making and husband's latest obsession

 The day has started with husband having the runs again and Betty being sick, it's the first time in a fortnight she's thrown up but it wasn't much and she seems fine, not moping around looking sorry for herself so I don't think it's anything to worry about.  As for husband, well the locum GP we saw 3 or 4 weeks ago reckons husband probably has some sort of diverticular thing - again, it's the first time he's had the runs in a couple of weeks and appears fine otherwise.  He's already had breakfast....I did suggest it might be better if he held off eating until around lunchtime, but no he was hungry and wanted toast.  Up to him.  I'm not giving Betty anything to eat until later on though, as per the vet's suggestion (I do at least take notice of what I'm told and follow the advice, unlike my other half!).

With food prices rising all the time and having regard to what we've got in the freezer (which is currently full to bursting, partly as a result of all the food and bone broth I've made for Betty), I've decided we'll have a homemade soup and sandwich evening meal a couple of times a week.  I've got several bags of home grown tomatoes and courgettes in the freezer, a basketful of shallots in the car port and husband pulled up the last of the carrots yesterday, looking at them it's probably at least a couple of kilos.  So lots of possibilities for soups there - tomato and lentil, courgette and blue cheese, carrot and cumin for a start.  Actually, today we're having soup, not any of the above though.....smoked haddock chowder, which is one of my favourites, I have half a tin of sweetcorn in the fridge and some small new potatoes which are going a bit soft and need using, along with a single frozen smallish piece of smoked haddock.  Yum.

I've got an ingrowing toenail which is sore and needs sorting, no point going to the GP as he'll only refer me to NHS podiatry which will take months and months (husband is still waiting for his referral appointment for his painful foot, after several months).  I've messaged 3 local private podiatrists - one said she can't fit me in until the end of October and suggested I ask my GP for a referral - ha!!  The other 2 haven't yet got back to me, I hope they do soon.  Everything health related takes a blimmin age to get sorted nowadays - even just to be seen.

Husband bought himself (well, ordered off his favourite internet auction site) 3 sets of metal standing shelf units, the sort that look like meccano which you have to put together yourself.  They're for his shed, which was full and untidy and we've not even lived here 3 years yet.  He spent the weekend trying to construct these shelves....I just left him to it, getting him drinks and suggesting he takes breaks every so often - there was a lot of swearing and loud banging noises coming from the car port.  He's managed to finish just one, he had to take it apart at one point because he'd done a bit wrong which meant the rest of it wouldn't fit together properly.  He started a second one late yesterday afternoon but was getting more irate and frustrated by the minute, so I gently suggested he call it a day and resume today.  I expect I'll have to help him today or he'll never get them finished.  And meanwhile the car port is full of all the junk he pulled out of his shed - he assures me it'll be cleared once the shelves are in place.  Might be a good time to sort it out and take all the useless, broken or unwanted junk to the tip!  He's such a hoarder of stuff which he claims might come in useful at some point....the reality is it never does, it just clutters up his shed and spills out into the car port.

Preparations

 Well, there's something positive - had a phone call yesterday offering husband a cancellation appointment for his dementia testing, 15 October, so 3 weeks time.  That's a lot better than January next year, which we were told would be the likely time, having had it put back from the original December this year.  

Meanwhile, having done lots of online research into bland diets for dogs with colitis type conditions, I'm in the process of making food for Betty.  I cooked a turkey drumstick and some chicken thighs and wings in water in the slow cooker yesterday, took the meat out and left it to cool.  Discarded the skin (too fatty) and shredded all the meat, putting it in the fridge overnight.  I put all the bones back into the liquid in the slow cooker, added some more water and a slug of apple cider vinegar (as recommended) and left it simmering on low all night.  This morning I'm cooking some sweet potatoes and rice and adding them to the shredded chicken and turkey.  I've taken the now thoroughly cooked bones out of the slow cooker and discarded them, leaving the liquid to cool, this will be strained then frozen in ice cube trays as bone broth for Betty.  I bought some for her whilst we were away, she loved it warmed and poured over her food.  So from now on she'll be having the homemade bland food, mixed with a handful of the vet-approved kibble for sensitive stomachs (to ensure she gets the necessary vitamins/minerals), with a (defrosted) cube or 2 of bone broth to moisten it.  I have to say I was almost heaving pulling the turkey meat off the bones, it looked and smelt disgusting - well, to me as a (mostly) vegetarian anyway.....the things we do for love!!

I'm going to have a go at making some healthy treats for Betty, I did try once before, I made banana and peanut butter biscuits - both of which she likes, but unfortunately not in biscuit form!  I've found a recipe for chicken, pumpkin and oat flour biscuits, I'm hoping she'll like them.

Speaking of Betty, when husband let her out in the garden for her last wee yesterday evening, there was a hornet of all things flying around in the car port, attracted by the light I suppose.  The loud buzzing noise really spooked Betty, she was quite unsettled for half an hour after that.  Poor thing, she gets spooked by quite a few noises nowadays.

I didn't sleep very well last night, the dementia testing was on my mind, as I'm sure it was husband's, not that he'll tell me - he just shrugged and said it didn't bother him when I asked him.  The long testing and questions (it takes about 2 hours) is quite wearing - obviously for husband but also for me.  Because of his dyslexia I'm so used to helping him read or answer written questions, but of course I'm not allowed to help him during the testing, although the psychologist does help him with some of the written stuff.  Husband does tend to deny there's anything wrong with his memory and won't admit to behaviour traits - because he's in denial.  The psychologist does ask me if I agree when husband has answered a question (we've been through this testing before), my answer frequently differs to husband's and he always immediately contradicts me or flatly denies it quite angrily....which I'm sure the psychologist is used to and actually helps them come to a diagnosis.  For any newish readers, husband was diagnosed with cognitive impairment after the last testing, around 4 years ago, things have definitely declined since then.

My emergency supplies box is building up quite nicely, I've been buying a few extra tins, packets, jars etc when shopping, plus some bottles of water.  Must get a couple of battery operated lights - and spare batteries!  Husband grumbled about the long life milk I bought for the box, but I said if it came to a choice between black tea (which he hates) or with a splash of L/L milk added, I'm pretty sure he'd go for the milk!  We have a gas cartridge powered camping hob so will be able to boil water or heat up tinned food in the event of a power cut....which reminds me, we need to buy some more gas cartridges.  If there's no 'disaster' over the next few months, well then it's nice to know we've got extra supplies both in the emergency box and another box under my bed for things I can't fit in my kitchen cupboards.  I read somewhere a few days ago that food prices could be rising by as much as 50% over the coming weeks (seem to have already!), so it makes sense to me to have a good supply of things bought already.  I'm not a fanatical prepper by any means, but I like to be ready and able!  Medications too - we're only allowed to order one month's supply at a time from our pharmacy, but I've been ordering them a couple of days early for ages now, so have built up about 3 or 4 weeks supply.

Ruta - I didn't go in the Skechers shop at Clarks Village so I couldn't say what the selection or prices are like, however, husband was pleased with the price he paid for his shoes.  It's quite a big shop and of course Clarks is a designer outlet centre, so most of the shops have discounted prices.  I hope your husband finds what he wants.

Home

 We were supposed to be away until Friday but have come back early - not through anything drastic.  The cottage (wing of a farmhouse) was lovely, weather was just about perfect, location was fab - both the farm itself (so peaceful) and the proximity to all the places we wanted to go.  However, being an old cottage the stairs were steep with narrow treads and the bathroom and loo were both upstairs - not ideal but we managed, although I certainly wouldn't want to live there with that setup.  The main reason for coming home early though was Betty - dogs weren't allowed upstairs, the owners were very strict about that and insisted we close the stairgate at all times to keep the dog downstairs.  Well, Betty, understandably, didn't like that at all.....she's even more clingy and anxious now and doesn't like being separated from me, she whined at the bottom of the stairs every time I even went up to go to the loo.  I knew she wouldn't settle if she was left downstairs on her own overnight, so I slept downstairs on the sofa for 3 nights, with husband reluctantly agreeing to do it twice.  The sofa wasn't very comfortable to sleep on, even lying on a thick duvet....it was ok for me (well, I was prepared to put up with the discomfort) but husband predictably moaned like hell, you'd think he was the only person to ever suffer with backache.  For the last two days though, Betty was quite unsettled and off her food, so I took the decision to come home, husband agreed with alacrity.  

The positives - we went everywhere we had wanted to go, I bought the saucepan set I wanted from the ProCook shop at Clarks Village (where my last pan set came from about 10 years ago) and got the showerproof jacket I wanted from the M&S outlet, husband bought another pair of his favourite Skechers shoes.  We went to Wells, my favourite little town with the lovely cathedral.  Had a drive through the village where we used to live, it doesn't appear to have changed at all since we moved from there in 2012.  I loved sitting in the cottage conservatory doing lots of reading and crochet, not a sound to be heard apart from birds in the trees and the chickens gently clucking in their run at the bottom of the cottage garden.  The first time Betty and the chickens saw each other, they made each other jump, very funny.....after that Betty kept her distance.  Husband spent his time as he does at home, dozing in front of the TV - not that I minded, I was happy reading in the conservatory with Betty lying at my feet.  So we had busy mornings out and about, and restful quiet afternoons.  And I did hardly any cooking - just cold meals, or something & chips, a Ploughmans one day, a really surprisingly nice Taste the Difference fish pie with - shock, horror - bought ready prepared green veggies another day.  

So here we are back home, Betty now seems fine and happy to be home, she quickly settled back down.  Although we've enjoyed it, it's nice to be home, there's nothing like your own bed.

And relax.....

 Betty seems fine now, back to her usual self, she's not been sick since early Tues morning so the antacids are obviously working, I hope they continue to keep her comfortable whilst we're away.  One good thing is that the vet surgery we used to go to before we moved here is just a couple of miles away from where we're staying, they were always really good so it's comforting to know there's somewhere we know and trust nearby.

The Alzheimer's lady didn't turn up yesterday, an hour and a half after the scheduled appointment time I rang and left a message on her answerphone.  About 40 mins later one of her colleagues rang to say she'd got flu and apologised profusely for not letting us know beforehand.  Bit annoying but these things happen, I've asked that she ring to make another appointment once we get back from holiday.

Is it just me, or is packing for a self catering holiday in this country a bit of a nightmare?  If we were flying abroad, we'd have one case and one carry-on bag each and that's it.  But for our week away here I've packed a holdall of clothes each, another bag with our dressing gowns, slippers and meds (they wouldn't fit in our clothes holdalls), a bag of dog stuff, another bag with husband's DVDs, my books and yarn, phone chargers, toiletries zipped bag, a notebook and pen.  Then there's 2 hessian shopping bags of non-fridge food, coffee & tea, toilet rolls, tea towels etc, and the cool bag which I'll pack just before we go.  Another hessian shopping bag will sit in the foot well with me as we'll be stopping off at an Aldi on the way to get my oat milk and some salad to go with our pizza tea tonight, plus a Sudoku puzzle book for husband.  I need this holiday!! 😂

I'd asked husband to get out his holiday clothes and lay them on his bed for me to pack yesterday.  For our holidays he either gets out too few things or too many, and odd tops that don't go with anything else - not that he would care about that!  It was too many clothes this time, enough for a fortnight at least, including a weird Hawaiian type shirt that I've never liked and he's hardly ever worn, and a couple of pairs of shorts that were dirty and creased and had clearly been worn several times and simply thrown back in his wardrobe without being washed. 😒  I just packed what I thought best out of his selection rather than asking him to come and whittle it down.

As I said, I probably won't be blogging much, if at all.  Have a good week everyone, the weather for next week looks pretty good x

Dog food, losing inches

 It's getting light later now isn't it, the last 2 mornings I've had to put the light on when I've got up in order to check if Betty had been sick anywhere - thankfully not.  She slept all day yesterday, then came to life in the evening and ate her tea as normal, with no sickness after, the antacids seem to be working.  I've been doing some research after John the vet said she must have a very bland diet, he suggested a dry food specially for sensitive stomachs.  I did say she doesn't really like dry kibble, John replied that dogs aren't like humans - if they're really hungry they will eat anything.  Hmmm.  And anyway, the brand of food he suggested (Hill's Science) is very expensive - around £55 to £65 a bag 😮.  For the time being, I've bought her some commercial food trays for sensitive stomachs and have also made and frozen some plain poached (in water) chicken with minced carrot and squash to take with us.  I'm also still giving her one treat a day (a reduction from her usual half a dozen treats), a dried chicken fillet broken up and given throughout the day.  She has her antacid tablets wrapped in a small piece of wafer thin ham - John's suggestion.

Isn't it funny how we lose inches (in height) as we age.....would be lovely if we also lost pounds with ageing without even trying!  Husband was 5'8" when we met, although he absolutely insists he was 5'9" and the tallest out of him and his 4 brothers.  Erm, no, 2 of his brothers were taller than him, as evidenced in photos of them all lined up together in earlier years.  Now, he's lost 3" in height and in the evenings he's even shorter - I know our height shrinks during the day, although don't know why.  I thought I was much the same height (5'6"), but having been measured at the GP's during my last review, it seems I'm now 5'5".  It also means my BMI is now worse for my now height.  I've actually lost 6lbs over the past couple of weeks, but this morning it seems I've put back on a couple of pounds due to comfort eating whilst stressed over Betty and other things I should think.  I don't really want to eat too much 'bad' stuff whilst we're away but I think that's a bit unrealistic because - well - holiday!  But I will be making a big effort for us both to lose weight when we come back.  It is hard to control husband's eating though....making him good healthy meals is quite easy, but he does snack quite a lot between meals.  And no I don't buy him the snacks, he buys them himself when I'm not with him.

I'll be packing the clothes this morning, then it's just the food tomorrow - not loads, just enough for the first 2 days.  We've got the lady from the Alzheimer's Society coming this afternoon.  I've washed the fleece blankets I use to cover my bed and the sofa where Betty lays, just about to put them out on the line.....showers forecast but it's blowy and fleece blankets dry quickly.

I'm not taking my laptop as wifi at the cottage is said to be intermittent, so blogging next week may be sporadic or not at all.