Friday 2 October 2020

Introspective one

Thanks for the lovely comments, you lot are so encouraging, supportive and kind!  Big virtual hugs to all....Isn't it such a shame that virtual hugs are about all we can have now? (unless you're in a bubble, I guess).  Oh I do miss hugs.  I did think I'd keep the jeans for 'best', for going out - but we don't go anywhere now!  Well, other than shopping, and an occasional beach walk with the dog.  None of that today, it's absolutely chucking it down.

Gemma's Person, you asked if my CBD oil helps my sleep (blasted tablet keeps changing CBD to DVD!  Annoys the hell out of me when my tablet keeps trying to tell me what it thinks I should be writing! 😠).  It used to when I first started taking it, but not anymore, nor does it ease my hip pain as much.  Think I need to up the dose, but it costs so much.

Ok, I still got up early (04.33), but actually slept the whole night through, didn't even need to get up for a wee - that's what woke me eventually I think, well that and the rain and wind.  So fingers crossed, it looks like my run of sleepless nights is over for a while.

The person who jumped in front of the lorry - police have been asking for witnesses and people with dashcam footage.  That poor lorry driver, he'll need some help to get over that, I should think, I hope he gets it.  Suicide, and attempted suicide, has touched our family a few times and it has profound and long lasting effects.  Clearly, anyone who commits suicide is most certainly not in their right mind and desperately needed help before the event, but I have to say that in my opinion it's the most selfish act, because it's so devastating for those left behind.  And to do it in a way that involves others in the act, like that poor lorry driver, is terrible.

I've been thinking about Christmas.  I don't know what to do about it this year, it'll be the first one since Mum died on Christmas Eve last year.  Her mother, my lovely Nanna, died on Boxing Day when I was 14, so Christmas is a time for both sad and happy memories for me.  The shops are getting their Christmas stuff in, once or twice I've seen a decoration and thought oh I like that, but a split second later I think no I'm not having any decs up this year.  I think I'll wait and see how I feel nearer the time.  Right now it just feels wrong to put any decorations up, especially since Mum never celebrated Christmas anyway (she was a Jehovah's Witness).

Christmas is going to be very different for all of us this year, with all the Covid restrictions...I wonder how many people will actually abide by the Covid rules?  Mind you, I was listening to a news programme the other day, two journalists being interviewed both said they reckon Boris will announce a relaxation of the rules a week before Christmas, as he won't want to go down in history as the grinch who stole Christmas!

Bit introspective today, sorry about that, must be the gloomy weather!


  1. I'm glad your run of sleeplessness seems to be over. For me, the darker nights/mornings seems to help. I think it's a sort of hibernation-mode! Christmas will certainly be strange this year. I'm not sure if I'll put up any decs (usually only the tree) either. I think we'll all have to have Christmas in July when, hopefully, Covid will just be a bad memory. xx

  2. Hope you sleep better for several nights now.

    I keep getting junk emails offering me CBD oil for some reason. I delete them and many others too.

    As for Christmas- I reckon it will be a case of wait and see and hope for the best. I know where I won't be going but no idea who will be able to come here.

  3. Glad you are managing to get some sleep again. Gerards Mum died on Christmas day, many years ago so it is always mixed blessings. I suspect it will indeed be a strange one this year.

  4. We have had 2 public suicides in our village, one at the train station and another in our lovely park, the whole village is feeling blue, it does affect everyone. Some many places are gearing for Christmas already, it's going to be the biggest blast or a total flop, can't yet make my mind up which. For us it should be the same as every other year.

  5. Getting a decent amount of sleep is the most important way of staying healthy. Christmas will be really strange this year if the local lockdown stops my son coming for the day. It would be the first time we have ever been apart on Christmas day.

  6. I hope your better sleep continues, Sooze. The news on the ‘accident’ on the M5 got worse and worse as it unfolded, that poor lorry driver!
    Really not sure how Christmas will pan out this year. It is already different in one respect, we are not giving presents to some of my family this year, purely due to logistics of buying and delivering. I doubt very much that we will have our pre-Christmas get-together, due to numbers, we had 14 last year. Hopefully next year it will be back to normal!

  7. I always use to put my decorations up about Dec 12th,but since my Dad died on Dec 1st 2014 I have always put them up that day.I know that he would rather me be doing sometime bright and cheery than sitting there sad.I talk to his photo as well as he is watching me do it,xx


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