Thursday 6 February 2020

New sleeping arrangements....for our sanity!

Husband and I have both come to the conclusion that we each wake the other up at night.  I get up almost every night....not always for the loo, it's usually just because I simply cannot sleep, and me getting up and opening the bedroom door wakes husband up.  I sometimes go back to bed after an hour or two, and that wakes him up again, although he does usually go back to sleep quickly.  Unlike me.  

He's a very fidgety sleeper, always has been but it seems to have got worse as he's got older.  He also has restless legs and jerks his arms as well as his legs, so I frequently get elbowed in the ribs or kicked in the shins.  He's asleep when he does it, he's not doing it deliberately! (well, that's his story and he's sticking to it, lol).  Whatever, it constantly wakes me up....that's assuming I'm actually asleep in the first place.  And when he's having one of his 'jerky' nights (it's not every night, thank goodness), he does the jerking stuff literally every couple of minutes, for about an hour or so, so there's no chance of me getting back to sleep then.

This last night (it's now 05.30 and I've been awake since about 02.00) has been particularly bad, he's been incredibly restless, even keeping himself awake and he's up too, unheard of for him to be up at this hour.

So we've both reluctantly come to the conclusion that we need to get rid of our bed and get single beds.  It's a shame because I love our bed.  We do have 2 spare bedrooms.....well, the single one is my craft room now, the larger spare room has twin single beds for visitors - some of our visitors are friends who obviously don't want to share a double bed, so we can't just swap rooms and beds, we need to keep the spare room as a twin.  Having separate bedrooms is an option too far for us - I know some couples do, each to their own, whatever works for them, but we don't want to.  So we'll be looking for 2 pine single beds in the near future.

Am off up to the Midlands for the family stuff today, leaving here just after 07.00.....could have done with a decent night's sleep but hey ho.  I shan't be sleeping in brother's car, I always try to stay awake as I don't think it's fair on the driver....he can't sleep, after all!


  1. If you have definitely decided on single beds make sure they are comfortable first. When we visit my brother in law we use their guest bed which are pine with slatted bases. I think they were originally for grandchildren and they are most uncomfortable for heavier adults. We put twin beds in our guest room when we moved and I decided on divan type singles. They cost more but are so comfortable. They got a full two week testing by us when we were having our bedroom redecorated and had to move out.
    It sounds like a sensible idea in view of your sleeping difficulties.
    PS. I hope today goes as well as it can do.

  2. You will have just set out as I type so wishing you a safe drive and as little stress and difficulty as possible during the day.

    I think your decision is extremely sensible. Mum and Dad did the same thing at an earlier stage when Dad was working abroad on and off and found that his sleep patterns could be very disturbed at home because of time changes, etc, and he often needed to get up in the night and do things before he could settle. That disturbed Mum. Also, they preferred different kinds of bedding, Mum loving her duvet while Dad found a sheet and blanket much more comfortable. There were lots of good reasons really and they were perfectly happy sharing the same room but separate beds. It really helped them and I hope it does the same for you too.

  3. If the twin beds aren't going to be in use, try sleeping in those for a few nights. If you find they're comfy, try and get the same again. Lots of divan beds have storage under too. Like you, I can't sleep in the car. I always feel guilty, even though I find myself nodding off! I hope the Midlands trip goes well. Stressful times, which have to be got through. Thinking of you. xx

  4. Try looking at German beds. They're 2 single matresses on seperate adjustable bed bases contained in a single frame. (Just type German bed images in google) You're together but at the same time seperate. (I'm British, married to a German and living in Germany for over 30 years) You also have your own bedding so it's personal preference whether duvet, blankets or both and saves arguments.
    Hope today goes well...

  5. Safe journey Sooze and hope things get sorted without any trouble. I would echo what Catherine says about the single beds as some of the cheaper ones might only be useful for children. However there is a good range of mattresses available now and a slatted base should not really be a problem it will be the quality of the mattress on it.

  6. We reluctantly decided to sleep in separate rooms and I still feel sad about it now but it works and I get a decent night's sleep. I'm free to read or move about without being asked if I'm okay etc. and I'm sure it will improve your sleep. Good luck.


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