Re husband's knob twiddling etc.....I know he can't help it, he's not doing it deliberately to annoy me (although it does feel like it sometimes!) - it's down to his cognitive impairment, he's sometimes not even aware he's doing stuff, his brain just works differently now. I do have to keep reminding myself that he can't help it though. I do a lot of teeth grinding, tongue biting or walking out of the room to save my sanity (or his ears!). At the end of the day, he's still my husband - albeit a somewhat different version of the bloke I married. But then none of us is the same person 44 years on, we all will have changed some way or other. I'm just glad I gave up smoking and drinking years ago - if I still did either, I think I'd be rather too reliant on them now! 😂😨
Saw on the news yesterday that the chef Gino D'Acampo is the latest bloke to have allegedly been behaving badly for years, he joins Wynne Evans, Gregg Wallace, John Barrowman, and of course Huw Edwards, Mohammed Al-Fayed, Russell Brand and Phillip Schofield, amongst many others. The last four mentioned had more serious allegations against them, either actual sexual assaults or at the very least, a case of them abusing their power status and believing they were untouchable. In my opinion (and it is only my opinion), the first four are just tone-deaf idiots who think their inappropriate sexual innuendoes are hilariously funny - they're all show-offs who like to play to an audience and class what they do/say as just banter and tomfoolery and think anyone (for that read woman) who objects has no sense of humour.
I would think that most women have been subjected to this kind of behaviour from men for years and years - I know I have. I had the misfortune to become very well endowed in the boob department from puberty, which has meant me having to put up with leers, men talking to my boobs instead of my face, even the occasional grope thinly disguised as 'accidentally' brushing against me, and no end of ribald comments, for my entire adult life from said puberty onwards. And even worse behaviour on a thankfully few occasions. It's not a case of being humourless - I consider myself to have a very good (cheeky) sense of humour. But most women know what is or isn't appropriate, and can 'read the room' and judge when something is likely to offend....well, that's what I think anyway. I also think it's been the case for years and years that women in particular have been reluctant to make a fuss or call some bloke out on bad behaviour for fear of not being believed, or even losing their jobs. But women are coming forward now in this 'Me Too' age, because they finally can.
I do think though, even now, that some women - woke snowflakes mainly - take the 'being mortally offended' too far.....like women who complain loudly in the media about being wolf-whistled by workmen in the street. Again this is just my opinion but when some girl complains about that I just think "Really? They're just showing appreciation for a pretty face or figure, they're not rugby-tackling you to the ground and tearing your knickers off!!" 😒 Feel free to disagree with me, we all think differently.
I agree wholeheartedly, Sooze. Some men abuse their power/status and others think that "locker room banter" is acceptable. What I find sad is that, after it all comes out into the open, people admit to knowing about it and turning a blind eye. Just "boys being boys" mentality. As for wolf whistles, I'd be flattered if someone did that to me nowadays! I remember one time when I was young, slim and pregnant. My bump was all at the front. A car load of young men went past, wolf whistled and called out to me, then as the car passed and they spotted the bump, they all, as one, went very quiet, heads down, looking sheepish! Made me laugh then, and still makes me laugh! xx
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry! I hadn't read the previous post. When I read the first line of this one about knob twiddling I thought that you were referring to the 'pocket billiards' pastime that males of all ages seem to enjoy.
ReplyDeleteI actually laughed out loud at this comment, thanks!
DeleteMe, too, Sooze. If I'd been drinking as I read it, I'd have snorted coffee all over my computer! xx
DeletePeople are talking about stuff now that they never mentioned before, which is a good thing. It's harder for those men who can't behave like decent human beings to get away with it.
ReplyDeleteI thought I'd missed a post on here - I thought you'd caught husband fiddling with his bits!!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to disagree with you and politely push back in both your use of woke snowflakes and wolf whistles. How wanting human beings to not just be treated nicely, but respectfully and not as fodder for someone else's warped sense of humor turned into an insult is beyond me. No, cat calling, whistles, leering, is rude and often disgusting and can feel unsafe. Normalizing it as just showing appreciation, yeah, I don't agree . Now the anti chivalry stuff seems too far to me...but then I hold doors open for anyone if I'm first to the door and someone's right behind me, or assist if someone has their hands full. I'll always gladly accept the same in return. That's kindness.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately I know of another very well known ‘celebrity’ who has behaved similarly to Huw Edwards towards my nephew who was working on a programme with him. When he reported it to the production company, all they said was , this is what women have put up with all the time. Nothing was done about it and he’s currently on a run with his present series. All the comments I read about him say what a lovely, sensitive man he is. It makes my blood boil.
ReplyDeleteI also agree with Sam’s comment above. All that woke means is speaking up for social injustice and what’s wrong with that? It seems to be a word that is used as an insult but I’m all for speaking up when people are being treated unfairly.
As a young teenager when I walked to school (I am also rather well endowed bust wise) some of the workers would whistle and make rather obscene gestures (you probably know what kind of gestures). I never said or did a thing. But now I wish, even though they did not knock me down and pull off my panties, I had been more of a woke snowflake and made a fuss. We can disagree on this and still be blogging friends.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
I hated being whistled at as a teen/young adult and would go out of my way to avoid those situations. That should never be so.
ReplyDeleteI think ANY unwanted sexual innuendo, comment, gesture, etc, should not happen. Sheer politeness and respect should be paramount.
And, surely, 'woke' now means a more general sense of awareness to social injustice against any/all groups?
I guess some people do seem to be more easily upset/offended than others but one never knows what experiences they have had in the past.
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