We had another death in the family over the weekend, my brother's FiL - not unexpected as he was 92 and in a care home due to deteriorating health, still, the loss of a parent is never easy. That leaves my siblings and I and virtually all of our cousins parentless - just one elderly aunt left, but she's also in a care home suffering from dementia and poor physical health so is probably not long for this world. It's sad to think we have no older relatives left, nobody to ask a question of about things in the past - like my Russian salad memory, I'd have loved to ask Mum about it.
My life seems to be full of minor irritations and struggles at the moment, there are a number of things causing me problems and, as always, only me to sort them out. Nothing is major, but having lots of minor irritations is just as annoying and worrying as one big thing. I'll get through it all, as I usually do, but there are occasionally times when I think to myself 'But what about me, who looks after me?'. I had a disagreement with a friend the other day, who seems to think he knows all about our situation (he doesn't), and he finished up by saying "We just have to put up with it, we're all in the same boat". Erm, no we most certainly are not, and saying that is just blasé, shows little understanding and makes light of the problem. Husband got a telling off on the phone yesterday from his daughter - he'd said something in their previous phone call which upset her. I just thought to myself.....she's lucky he's only upset her once, if I got upset every time he said something hurtful or inappropriate to me, I'd constantly be in tears, every day! He's got absolutely no filter and just blurts things out without thinking at all - he can't help it, it's the cognitive impairment, but that doesn't make it any less hurtful.
I think I need to make some bread (thumping the dough around would help work off a bit of frustration!) or do a thorough spring clean, or a major declutter. A good long hike in the countryside all by myself would probably help.....except that my herniated lumbar disc is really playing up again, as is the trochanteric bursitis in my hips, and my right knee gave out yesterday in the garden - which was a surprise as it's normally my left one! So long hikes, especially on uneven ground, are out, which is sad as I used to really enjoy long walks in the countryside.
I'll be alright in a day or 2 I expect, I'm never down for long nowadays - I can't afford to be!
The weather is going downhill this week, back to colder days, little sun and cold, possibly frosty nights. Never mind, I'll stay indoors in the warm and do some batch baking and cooking.
Condolences, Sooze. Even when a death is expected and after a long life, it does stir up all sorts of emotions and memories.
ReplyDeleteYes, the constant small irritations and problems can be more wearing than one big problem. Glad the dough bore the brunt of your frustration, though. You don't want to be arrested for whacking him with a rolling pin! (However tempting that might be!)
I think today is the last warmish day for a while. Oh, well, it was nice while it lasted! I managed to clear some junk out of my shed and give it a sweep and tidy. Why I've hung onto old, broken bits I'll never know. I blame my Dad. We used to call him a Womble. He collected all sorts of rubbish, that might come in handy one day! xx
Oh dear Sooze, things do all happen at once. No one really knows happens in someone else's life. Sending you positive thoughts. I remember kneading bread dough when I was frustrated with 'life'.
ReplyDeleteI always take my frustration and hurt out on the house, a burst of energy cleaning always works for me.
ReplyDeleteA good dough (or pillow) thumping does wonders to relieve frustration. Your other half sounds so much like Tony that I'm certain they're twins. I feel your pain
ReplyDeleteI hear you! Everyone always thinks they know best, and isn't it infuriating when they give you the benefit of their "advice", even though you hadn't asked for it and don't want it! 😖 It's tough being the only caregiver, and I think it's really important that you always line up some little things to cheer yourself up, so that you've got things to look forward to. If you're anything like me, you'll need regular little pick-me-ups to avoid going nuts! So I've just realised I've given you unsolicited advice 😉 - but it comes with kind intentions! I'm sorry for your loss, always a sad moment when someone in the family passes.
ReplyDeleteThe last time I needed to get rid of my frustrations I painted the ceiling in my kitchen and made 5 pies. Eldest son walked in took one look and said "Okay what got you so worked up?"
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you had another extended member of the family pass. Losing our older generation is very hard.
God bless.
Throw away comments from people can be very hurtful as well as annoying, hang in there Sooze you're doing great.
ReplyDeleteI'm very sorry for your loss, Sooze. I'm now the oldest in our family and it can feel very 'strange' sometimes.
ReplyDeleteAd for advice, my dear dad used to say ' my advice is worth whatever you are paying me for it' - very sensible of him. xx