Following on from the previous post

 I think I need to make a few things clear, as I seem to be getting a lot of unsolicited advice from people who have no real knowledge or understanding of how things are.  I know you all mean well, and thank you for that, but - as has been said many times before - unless you are in my shoes, living my life and married to my husband, the likelihood is you have very little idea of how things work.

So....

1.  Husband does not have a social worker.

2.  There is no medical treatment for Cognitive Impairment (CI), unlike some forms of dementia which can be helped or slowed down at least by some medications.  There are no specific groups, courses or specialist nursing staff for CI, unlike for dementia.  After husband had his tests, he was given a written diagnosis and then it was 'Goodbye then, mind how you go' and he was promptly discharged there and then from the service.  The consultant psychologist did apologise, but said there was nothing further she could do.

3.  We did once attend a group session called the Forget-me-not club, mainly for dementia sufferers.  Husband hated it and refused to go again, I can't say as I blame him as we could both see it wasn't geared towards him and his CI at all.

4.  Yes I would like a break, but how exactly does anyone think that is going to happen?  We have no family or close friends nearby, I don't have transport, I'm not the sort of person who would be happy having a hotel or cottage break on my own or with a load of strangers.

5.  Husband is not disabled enough, physically or mentally, to go into a nursing home, he doesn't fit the criteria for a respite break either.

6.  Whatever things some people suggest, the chances are I've already tried it.  

7.  Yes I feel like tearing my hair out sometimes, and I often vent on here - but that's all it is, just venting, letting off steam!  If I can't do that on my own blog, when/where can I?  Once I've got things off my chest, I'm generally ok again.

The bottom line is, he's still my husband, regardless of his changed personality, we've been together nearly 45 years and I'm not going anywhere, I promised his daughter that I would look after him to the best of my ability and until one of us dies and I will keep that promise.  I most certainly do feel like running away sometimes, but even if I did get to that point, I'm sure it would only be for a matter of hours!  Where would I go anyway? (see Point 4 above).

Oh, and I am definitely not a martyr - I'm just a woman/wife coping with things and doing my best in the only way I know how!