I had a phone call yesterday afternoon from a man with the Older Person's Mental Health team, he asked if I was able to speak freely and in confidence, I said yes. He then asked firstly if I was in any danger or felt threatened by my husband, I replied firmly no not at all. He then followed up by asking if I had a place of safety I could go to in the event that I did feel threatened, to which I said yes. (I haven't specifically, I'd just get out of the house). Then he asked some general questions about husband's behaviour and state of mind, including whether I thought husband was at risk of harming himself. He's not - except by accident! It was all a bit unsettling and uncomfortable actually, although I understand and appreciate that they're taking me seriously and doing a safeguarding check. He said husband will be allocated a key worker who will come to see us in a couple of weeks and do some preliminary memory tests. I confess to feeling a bit rattled by the speed of everything, but I guess it's better to know sooner rather than later, when treatment may not be an option by then.
Anyway, I've got lots of small jobs today to keep me occupied, before all the guests arrive tomorrow. I told husband I'd need his help to get through them all....he grumbled about it until I reminded him that 4 out of the 6 guests are his relatives 😜
I've not slept too well the last couple of nights, which is understandable, lots to think about.
I'm not surprised you're feeling unsettled. It's good that your concerns are being taken seriously, but it's not giving you time to draw breath. Still, it's good to know that both you and your husband are being cared for. It's easy for me to say try not to think about it all and enjoy your visitors, but I know it will always be in the back of your mind. I hope the laughs and chatting dissipates some of the negatives. Sending hugs. xx
ReplyDeleteSadly some people I've worked with as a carer do become very violent towards their family and carers so that's why these questions are asked. It's very sad because quite often before becoming very ill they were always described as very placid loving people. It is a minority but still happens.
ReplyDeleteHopefully this will never happen to your lovely husband.
I can understand your feeling quite disturbed by all this. As you say, they are just making sure things are safe for you but it can feel as though things are running away with you a bit. Hopefully, once they've done their various assessments and come up with a plan for medications, etc, things will get back to normal and you can relax a bit. But it's so good that you have set things in motion with the medical professionals - you did the right thing for you both.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that they are working with you, even though what was said was scary. I do know some people get very violent and knowing that I am sure that is why the phone call came.
ReplyDeleteGod bless.
A call like that would have unsettled me too. I wonder whether it's something new because I was never asked during the time J had his memory assessment and consultation at the memory clinic. Maybe it all depends on which type of dementia, there are various different ones and I think Alzheimer's is not an aggressive type.
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