Crap morning, lovely afternoon

 Husband's still really struggling to get around, the crutches haven't arrived yet, hopefully they'll come tomorrow.  He's very constipated because of all the codeine he's taking, fortunately we have plenty of those laxative orange sachets.  Being so immobile doesn't help much either, and his appetite isn't yet back to normal.  He'll get there in due course.

I got drenched taking Betty out first thing...feels like it's been raining forever, although luckily it's mostly showers.  She caught sight of 2 other dogs and nearly yanked my arm off straining on the lead to get to them, and then a van raced past, no attempt to slow down or move over, splashing us and almost whacking me with his wing mirror.  It was the first and last time I shall be walking down the lane with the dog....I only went that way as the field is so waterlogged and muddy.  It'll be wellies and sloshing about in the field from now on, it's the safer option....not that it does my hip much good.  Oh and the car was collected by the garage and taken off for the MOT - it failed.  Hey ho - just as well husband's foot and the impending lockdown mean we don't need it imminently.

Later on though, my best friend came and picked me and Betty up and took us to my favourite beach, Dunster, for an hour's walk - oh it was wonderful.  My happy place, Betty having a ball charging around the beach, and spending time catching up with my lovely friend, pretty much a perfect afternoon.  Thank you M 😘

I need to do some serious housework tomorrow, not that I want to but it does need doing.  I'll sit husband at the kitchen table and get him prepping the veg for dinner, to save me a job, it'll just be roasted veggies and chicken legs so easy to do.  After lunch - easy again, cheese, crackers and an apple - I'm going to sit up in my craft room, I have several cards I need to make.

And its only day 3

Husband's foot hasn't been put in plaster as we'd thought it would be, it's heavily bandaged and padded, he's been given a big shoe thing with Velcro straps for when he has to stand up.  But no crutches....Yet he was told not to put any pressure on the foot for 2 weeks.  So how is he supposed to go to the bathroom or move around from room to room, go up and down stairs, have a shower (it's an over the bath one, not a cubicle) without putting any weight on that foot?  We don't have a downstairs loo, only upstairs.  He can't move around without holding onto something - he's almost 70, unsteady on his feet at the best of times, and not skinny!  So I've ordered him some crutches, they'll be delivered tomorrow.  In the meantime, I was going to borrow a Zimmer frame for him from a neighbour whose husband used it before he died....unfortunately, she's gone to stay with her son for a few days so I can't.  Ridiculous not to give him crutches, how on earth did they think he/we would manage?

I've been up and down stairs so many times (he stayed in bed yesterday) - what with that, walking the dog 2x daily, doing all the housework (minimal I have to say!), cooking, washing up, washing, taking rubbish out, sorting his bedroom out which looks like a bomb's hit it, he's so untidy, I will lose stones without even trying.  And I am totally knackered.  Just trying to keep up with giving him pain meds 4x daily, along with the 8 or 10 normal heart etc meds he takes every day, wears me out...He's so forgetful, I have to do everything for him, it's like having a demanding child.  Not that he demands anything, he doesn't, he is aware how helpless he is without me.  I'm just so tired.

He's got to go back to hospital in a fortnight to have the bandages taken off and renewed, the consultant will check his foot then and decide on the next steps....whether/when to start physiotherapy.  Although now we're back in lockdown I can't see how he will be going for the weekly physio sessions for 6 weeks that was originally mentioned.

He says if he knew how painful his foot would be and how difficult it would make everything, he wouldn't have had the op.  Well, I'd guessed it would be, I don't know why he thought it would be a breeze.  At least he won't be in daily pain like he was before the op, once he's recovered.

He's a very difficult patient and I'm not cut out to be a nurse.  Sorry to moan, but I'm so totally knackered, physically and emotionally.

All done

 Husband was first on the list for his op yesterday, as his was the most complicated procedure.  It all went well, he was done and dusted and home early afternoon yesterday.  He's spent today in bed.  And that's all I have to say for today.  

Husband's op and dog walking

What a horrible day, peeing down and galeforce winds.

I've recovered well from the flu...just as well seeing as husband will now be incapacitated for at least a fortnight.  He was collected by a neighbour and went off at 7 am this morning to the hospital for his op.  He's going to ring me once he's seen the consultant and knows what time he'll be having the op.  It's a complicated op by the sound of things....I don't know all the details seeing as he had his previous consultations on his own, I wasn't allowed to go with him because of the Covid restrictions.  And he never remembers what's said to him, or thinks to ask any questions, so the details I have are sketchy.  As far as I know, he's having 3 tendons broken and reset, something else done to a 4th tendon, and something done to a bone in his foot - he didn't know what.  He'll be in plaster for a fortnight initially and has to keep off the foot entirely (I'm assuming he'll have to move around a bit on crutches and try to keep a bit active, to reduce the risk of a blood clot).  Then he has to go see the consultant again, for the plaster to be taken off and the foot examined....he doesn't know what happens after that, although he says regular physio for a few weeks was mentioned.

How that's going to pan out/work with the upcoming full lockdown I don't know....

I didn't sleep well last night, although husband said he slept reasonably well, strangely.  And my guts are really being irritable today (no surprise there).  Although I do feel much better, I still get horribly tired come the afternoon, after doing a few jobs in the morning, so afternoons are spent lying on the bed reading.

Weighed myself yesterday for the first time in about 3 weeks - I had no idea whether I'd have lost or gained...although I didn't eat a lot during the first week I was ill, what I did eat was very carb-heavy.  Husband does his best with providing meals but he's not exactly a cook, so healthy eating went out of the window and it was mainly things on toast or something with chips or wedges, other than a couple of my pre-made frozen healthy meals.  I was quite surprised to find I'd maintained - my weight is exactly the same as it was 3 weeks ago.  I'm not doing anything healthy for myself tonight, it will probably be fish and chips out of the freezer, not sure if husband will want anything....it depends how he feels when he gets home I suppose, assuming he does come home today.  I guess the fact that I will have to be more active for the next few weeks, taking Betty out for a walk twice daily (it's normally husband who does the dog walking) will help to keep my weight stable, regardless of what I eat.  Although I don't do fast or long walks, due to my arthritic hip.

On the subject of dog walking....John of Going Gently had a spiteful comment on his blog the other day regarding him taking his dogs out.  He's a nurse for goodness sake, he knows and understands the rules and knows how to do things safely!  And it's the same here - we have a very big field literally just behind our house, I will be taking Betty in that field, at times when no other neighbours are there (we can see the field from our house, so can see when it's empty), exactly what husband has been doing for his 2 weeks of isolation.  How do people think dogs are going to cope in a lockdown?  They need walking, not only to do their business, but also because they NEED exercise and stimulation - not all of us have giant gardens (or any garden!).  Honestly, why can't people just mind their own business?

Getting better slowly

 Thank you for all the comments, I am getting a little better every day.  I still feel like I've been in a rugby scrum, my limbs all feel very heavy, all my joints ache, brain feels like it's stuffed with a mixture of cotton wool and treacle.  And I'm so emotional, for some reason the slightest thing has me weeping, sometimes for no reason.  I've been trying to get a few things done, just a little bit of housework, loading the washing machine and tumble dryer, making a cottage pie and soup to last a few days....just normal stuff, nothing strenuous.  Even this wears me out though, I do it in the morning then have to go and lie down in the afternoon.

Husband has to have another Covid test today - hospital policy, he must have one 3 days before his operation, they're sending someone round to do it here this afternoon apparently.  He also has to go to the dentist tomorrow to have a loose tooth out - the pre-op nurse said he must have it done before the op, because of the danger of the tooth being knocked out by the ventilator tube and him possibly swallowing it or bleeding causing him to choke 😳.  I guess they know best, the tooth has been giving him a lot of trouble for a while anyway.  He had the third degree from the dentist on the phone first though, before he would agree to do the extraction, they're only doing emergencies.

Don't we all wish this year just hadn't happened?  What a waste of a year....as if we've got years to waste when we're getting older.  But we've been lucky, we haven't died, our relatives who've had the virus (including husband's brother, Sil and nephew, recently) have all recovered, and, being retired, we haven't really been financially affected, although people close to us have.  I'm really missing my friends and family even more now.  Will things ever get back to normal?

Sunday

 For the first time in nearly a week, I didn't wake up during the night drenched in sweat, feeling like I was in a sauna and suffocating from the heat, so think the fever has (fingers crossed) finally gone.  I still feel like I've been run over by a truck though, and all the other symptoms are still there.  Got up, showered and dressed this morning, even helped husband prepare veg for dinner....whether I eat much of it later remains to be seen, appetite is still coming and going.  It's odd, often I have no appetite at all, then sometimes I'm suddenly ravenous.  Going back to bed now, overwhelmingly tired again.

Jill and Joy, to answer your questions - yes we had the flu jabs a month ago.  Have had them for years and never had any reactions other than a mild arm ache or feeling a bit tired.  I don't think it's a reaction to the jab - too long ago.  I do think it's the flu - there are many different strains of flu and each year's vaccine only protects against the 3 or 4 strains the scientists reckon will be most prevalent this year.  Well, as far as I'm aware.

Flu

 I feel like crap, there's no part of me that doesn't ache, I feel like I've been hit by a truck.  Dozed this afternoon, only to wake up drenched in sweat again, despite having the window open and a cold wind blowing.  I've never felt so unwell for so long, nor stayed in bed for so many days.  I'm assuming it's flu.  Can't think straight, trying to think is like wading through treacle.  Waves of dizziness when I get out of bed.  Sick of the sight of my bedroom so am downstairs at the mo, will see if I can manage to watch Strictly before going back to bed.  Am so tearful too.  I wouldn't wish this on anyone.