Wow, thank you all so much for your comments, including from lots of new readers, following my soapbox moment yesterday. I've always stood up for myself over the years - except when I thought it wasn't worth my time - but now even more so. It's like a switch has been flicked inside me and I've become much more decisive and assertive.
Yesterday morning we went out early to go to husband's optician appointment. We got nearly to the end of our lane, when he suddenly decided he needed the loo and reversed back at speed (about 100 yards). Through sheer carelessness (bearing in mind he's been a professional HGV driver all his life), he bashed the side of the car into our neighbour's stone wall, smashing the wing mirror and indicator light underneath it to bits, breaking the reflector light the neighbour has on their wall (for safety reasons!) and scaring me half to death. (and as I said, we were on our way to town to his EYE TEST appointment!!).
After I'd recovered from the shock (and the desire to whack him round the head with all the bits of wing mirror he'd left me to pick up whilst he dashed indoors), I thought - well, I can either be right moody and let it spoil my day, or I can just put it out of my mind, place it all firmly on his shoulders and leave him to deal with it all entirely by himself. So that's what I did, telling him it was up to him to sort out (including how to pay for it) and I didn't want to know. I know it was an accident, I'm not dwelling on it, hopefully that's the 3rd thing to do with the car out of the way now and there won't be anything else!
I left him in the opticians and went off for a mooch around town by myself, something I almost never get the chance to do. It was good, I hardly spent anything, only buying some paracetamol and dog treats and a little Christmas decoration for £1 in a charity shop, it was just nice to have a look round on my own.
Incidentally, his eyesight has hardly changed, he doesn't need new glasses (!!) and his hearing is also fine. So it's just selective hearing then, as is normal for men ;-).
Out early again this morning to take Betty to the groomers, then housework to do for the rest of the day, along with spicing up and reboiling the boring chutney I talked about the other day. I want to get everything done so I can have the day free on Friday - I'm going to have a day doing absolutely bugger all!