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Saturday, 8 December 2018

A follow up to my 'Being Poor' post

Some more comments came in after I last replied....from Goldensunflower, Jules, Tracy and Anonymous, thank you all.  Anonymous (welcome, any chance of a first name....or something to call you by?  Doesn't have to be your real name, of course) suggested I try Jobseekers Allowance - I'm not eligible for that, unfortunately, but thank you for the help. 

I've also had some more comments, which aren't being published - I think you'll see why when I tell you what they were.

Somebody has said that it's the likes of them paying taxes that enables us to claim benefits and puts food in our mouths, presumably they consider us to be scroungers.  How offensive is that?! (and how wrong!).  My husband started work in the 1960s, the day after his 15th birthday, and carried on working without any breaks in employment until he retired last year at the age of 66 - over a year past his official retirement date.  He paid high taxes and NI all his life, I also worked full time for most of my life from the age of 18 (with no breaks to have children, seeing as I don't have any).  So any benefits we get and food we put in our mouths are paid for by US and OUR employment history!!  Neither of us has EVER claimed ANY benefits before now.  

We didn't even claim these benefits we get now, initially, for the simple reason that we didn't know we were entitled to them - it was pointed out to us by somebody official, who suggested we apply.

I'm getting a bit tired of having people who don't even know me making judgemental, offensive, uninformed and totally wrong comments.  If they carry on, I WILL name and shame them.  If you don't like what I say on my blog, then don't read it - simples!  

I'm also getting fed up with 2 particular people always assuming that whenever I write something negative or moaning, it's always about them!  I do know more than 2 people, my blog posts are not always about or directed to just them, and if they think I ONLY write about them, then that says more about them and their self-obsession than it does me!

24 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear you are having trouble, it seems to be going around Sue, I have had the same problem myself lately, scroungers is an awful word isn't it, not everyone is privileged to be loaded, we always worked hard and still have nowt much to show for it. Someone who you may know has been bickering and moaning to me about not publishing comments, the reason being the comments are long winded and not really irrelevant, this person has got so many peoples backs up, I have had emails from people telling me to keep away from this person, as the person has been tearing me and my blog apart behind my back and that really upset me ( I can't mention names) it's not just me, it seems to be others as well, I wonder if this person you are on about is the same one who has upset me? I tell you I didn't realise blogging could be so mean and bitchy. Hope these people give you a break and I hope things get better for me as it has been making me so down and upset.

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  2. Some people are only full of themselves, their opinion has to be shared, and the assumptions they make can be wrong. BUT remember these people are not your friends, even if they try to be. Our biggest problem with this world is how everyone thinks things should be, you can't change them, but you can distance yourself from them....

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  3. Same with Social Security-we paid it and earned it-we also pay for Medicare and supplement monthly! First thing people say-cut it
    Really????
    Don't know why people read blogs and complain!!
    Keep writing

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  4. Human beings can be so hurtful I have a "friend" from school (1954) we have done so much with each other and I have always been for her especially when her daughter and husband died but for so reason she has turned on me. My daughter says she is jealous but she has no reason to be she has a lovely home and is well of and has not had the illnesses I have had.
    I am sorry you are upset from what people are saying to you and I think maybe you need to tell them so other people can read how nasty they are.
    I do hope it all settles done for I enjoy you posts.
    Try and have a nice weekend.
    Hazel c uk

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  5. Some mothers do have them and they live. Ignore them if you can,if not name and shame. I do my own thing, any spiteful remarks get spammed without a second thought. I am lucky to have friends and neighbours who, like me, hate wasting anything, and who love a bargain. I can be so tight that I squeak when I walk and my way of shopping (many thanks to Ilona) is a way of cocking a snook at the system. It is hardly ever a case of what I CAN afford but what I WILL afford.

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  6. I think you are entitled to live your life without these kind of comments. It is hard enough to manage without uninformed criticism. Please keep writing - I enjoy reading your posts.

    I worked hard for my pensions and count myself lucky to have an occupational pension. I support my children and grandchildren financially as much as I can and have done for fifteen years now. I won’t have much to leave when I die but I have helped them to keep going when they need help.

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  7. This makes me so sad to read. If people don't like what you choose to write, then they don't need to read it. Surely it should be as simple as that. I hope you don't let it upset you. X

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  8. I'm sorry you're experiencing this, but not surprised as I had it myself. Some people don't seem to understand that a blog is a form of diary, not a debate forum. I used to get emails as well as comments, and gave as good as I got, but it's wearing. Others seem incapable of putting themselves in anyone else's shoes...what would they do, where would they turn, and how would they cope if their income was affected, due to job loss or ill health? My Dad paid in for 40 years, never claimed a penny and died 10 years before pension age. When I received the tax credits to which I was entitled, and for which both myself and my husband had paid into the system, I saw them also as a tiny fraction of the pension Dad paid into and never got to claim. I'd been considering putting up a post for Christmas but the bitchy nastiness that some women insist on inflicting on other women really puts me off.

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    Replies
    1. Hi Scarlet,
      I am getting fed up of it now, have been thinking of finishing blogging for good, fed up of the bitches out there, no need for it at all.

      Delete
  9. Really sorry if this is too long a reply.

    I think that when people are hurtful it’s them lashing out - at the wrong people - who they are angry with. You seem stronger of late, but I feel weaker. I started blogging years ago and nothing cruel, as far as I was aware, was happening. Luckily I never got anything nasty but I think that I’m so fragile that it probably would have destroyed me if they had. I’ve finally, after several tries, given up writing on my blogs, but I’ve disabled comments just in case - in view of what many bloggers are now reporting.

    I was assessed for PIP in 2017 (well over retirement age but something to do with my age at its implementation in 2013. I was a wreck as it was literally a few months after our son died. I was awarded lower care and higher mobility for five years to be reviewed after four. The nurse wrote I wouldn’t improve (and much,much worse has happened to me since then) but the clerical officer - not medical - says I might! No carers allowance as over retirement age. Other than that just pensions and it’s PIP which keeps our heads above water. For now!

    No sane person wants to claim benefits - it’s demoralising and really humiliating, although I accept that years ago there weren’t even all these benefits available that there are today - discounting the poor law officer, followed by parish relief and then the officials who went into houses to decide what had to be sold before any pittance was given...

    I think that’s why even when I replied to your first post about this and said I wasn’t now frugal - the reality is that when you’ve gone without you never really get over the uncertainty of life and a lack of finances. The fear stays with you.

    The criticisms you’ve had must be really hurtful. Those who have a high and mighty attitude just never know what might happen, financially, or otherwise, to themselves or their loved ones.

    Keep deleting the offensive remarks x

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  10. Oh I'm so sorry that you've had those awful people that hold themselves so high that you should write about them!! I love to read frugal blogs and only comment when I think I've got some that will enhance the post. We are all getting by as and how we can in these hard times, food is always increasing and income isn't x

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  11. How remarkably rude to post comments like that. I'm very glad you deleted tham and also that you count them as nothing at all. How dare they?
    I'm usually quite calm and gentle but now I am angry on your behalf!
    Sending love
    J xx

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  12. Mrs Nose in the Air should keep her comments about herself TO herself!
    Carry on deleting!

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  13. I am usually a calm, placid person who takes people as I find and can't be doing with all the insults and b****iness that some people like to show. I don't have a blog and I don't know how I would react in your shoes. All my instincts say 'ignore them', but would I feel the same if it happened to me as often as it's happening to you, I don't know. They must be small minded people with small lives whose only interest is hurting others, even strangers. Be strong for yourself and husband.

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  14. If the offensive remarks come from ‘Hyacinth Bouquet ‘ in Devon I don’t think you should be too worried, obviously has NO idea of how normal pensioners live and lives in her own bubble of middle class ness. You have a grasp on reality she will never aspire to. Sarah.

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  15. Sooze I see you are crocheting the Sweet Pea blanket what pattern are you using?
    I hope you have had a nice day.
    Hazel c uk

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  16. I am a very sensitive person - I could never in a million years share a blog with the world! I take things to heart too much and am easily upset. But, I do feel that things can be taken "the wrong way" in writing, however it must be very trying to be on the receiving end of hurtful comments. If the person you are all referring to is who I suspect, she writes a lovely blog, is a different generation and leads a different lifestyle to myself but I enjoy reading and seeing her lovely photos, just as I enjoy reading frugality based blogs.

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    Replies
    1. If it is that person I have seen numerous critical comments made by her on people's blogs, including mine, when she criticised the length of my curtains, which I didn't hesitate to defend!

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    2. Yes, I remember the curtain comment.

      Delete
  17. There do seem to be a lot of people who have nothing better to do with themselves other than to pass negative comments. I was always taught - if you can't find anything nice to say, don't say anything - and I still think that holds true. I have received DLA and mobility allowance for some years and now I have entered the minefield of pension credit, housing benefit and council tax benefit. I don't want to claim them, but my circumstances have changed radically (as you are aware) and I have to move into sheltered accommodation. How I spend the money I have is my business, and how you spend yours is only your business. I still don't know how much money I will end up receiving, but I will manage. I have been really fortunate and found a flat only ten minutes away from my son, his partner and their new baby. I'm going to follow some of your recipes and will get a slow cooker so that I can have extra meals ready in the freezer.

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  18. Hello again, If it's any consolation it's not just bloggers who get verbal abuse. As mentioned, I don't blog but I enjoy reading and commenting on other braver souls blogs. I left a very nice comment on a blog last Christmas - only to be ridiculed by another commenter who also has a blog. It's passive aggression. This person continues to comment as nice as pie totally oblivious to the hurt caused, hiding behind a veil of nicety. I now take everything with a pinch of salt.

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  19. I think you should name them then we can ridicule them to our heart's content.

    Go on - I dare ya!

    Hugs XXX

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Thank you for comments, however please note that rude ones won't be published. Nor will anonymous ones now.