No, not Christmas (which I don't really care about) - the winter solstice, the shortest day. I know it won't make a huge amount of difference to the length of the days for ages yet, but it is a huge psychological boost. It's all getting better and brighter from Friday onwards....well, that's what I'm telling myself. As I type this there's yet another howling gale raging outside, we seem to have had loads of them lately. I hate winter.
It's silly o'clock again (01.42 to be precise). Seems like I have one fairly good night after weeks of constant broken nights and being totally knackered, and then it's back to normal...my normal, waking up and not being able to get back to sleep. And it's always when it's the middle of the night and you can't sleep that your mind is the most active, and it's never good stuff is it.
There's one thing that's going round and round in my mind and it's hurting me a lot. But there's nothing I can do about it, I've tried. I just wish things were different. Or that I could let go, which it looks like i'm going to have to. It just feels like years of my life are being dumped, without a thought or care.
I know I'm not making much sense and nobody - well, almost nobody - knows what i'm talking about. I can't say any more.
No need to say any more, I'm just very saddened for you. I guess that is the root cause of your sleeping difficulties and my heart aches for you.
ReplyDeleteSending you lots of love
xxxxx
I send you hugs
ReplyDeleteJulie xxx
I have something that gies round and round in my mind constantly. There is not a thing I can do to change it and sometimes it eats into me so deeply that I am awful to be near. I know the only person who can help is me, and I do try to let go but somehow it creeps back. This comment won’t make much sense to anyone but me, but this time of year makes it worse. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteI understand, you can't control it, so you have to digest the hurt, I found until you do that it eats at you. It never goes away, it shrinks to a sadness you can live with. I hated early mornings for many months, lying in the silent darkness, thinking, wondering, what if......
ReplyDeleteI am in a similar place today, both with the weather and my mind. I intend to sew most of the day. tomorrow is another day and it will be welcomed. I am looking forward to the Solstice, by the end of January we will start to reap the benefit of extra daylight minutes if not hours.
ReplyDeleteI totally can relate!!!! Wish I had the perfect answer
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Sooze there is not a lot I can say but please try not to wish your life away. There is so many people worse on than us, I am now thinking of my son who is undergoing with Cancer in the throat.
ReplyDeleteHazel c uk
Hope you will feel better soon. x
ReplyDeleteIf I'm reading you right, I bet its to do with families.
ReplyDeleteHard to deal with.
Briony
x
I have this in the blog somewhere, but, in 2004 I lost my son on 29th Feb, my dad on 26th may and my mum on 27th June. It was a bleak year, then in the October my hubby was diagnosed with cancer, just to add the last straw. Life can be as bad as it is good but you either sink or swim. I am a strong swimmer and refused to sink.
ReplyDeleteYou must be s bloody strong swimmer! What a year that was for you. Xx
DeleteI’m looking foreword to the solstice too. Mentally I’m done in. I dream of hibernating for a while. I hope that whatever is causing you angst finds a solution soon.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear of your problems - I hope things get better for you soon and can be resolved - I am sure you would find sleep easier if they were.
ReplyDeleteIt hurts and throws us for a loop when someone we thought we knew turns out to be someone we never took them to be. Makes it hard to trust as well. Especially if it is family. You wonder if anything they said or did was true.
ReplyDeleteI know I may have mentioned this before . One's blood sugar drops in the night and interrupts sleep. Especially in diabetics. Try eating something , not much, just a few crackers or I eat yogurt and it works for me.Hope it works for you.
Hugs , hope us caring helps a little bit.
I feel for you my love. Can you get a radio with an earpiece to listen to Radio 3 or 4 with? I just turn them on for an hour at a time, that is usually enough to send me back to oblivion. My problem, now, is that my opposite neighbour has a light outside his garage that comes on when a car drives past, someone walks past or a cat goes on his drive... Hugs! xx
ReplyDeleteHey hun, it's hard in the middle of the night when you are awake and worrying. Things seem 10 times worse. Grab a pen and notepad - write it down what is worrying you and then the solution. If there is no solution then write* out of my hands*. Then make a hot chocolate drink and tell yourself you can't worry over things you can't change.Try listening to peaceful music and then goto bed. If you believe in God say a prayer and hand it over to him. If you don't then say to yourself*worring will not change the outcome, I will deal with it when and if it happens*. Big hugs, hope this helps Golden Sunflower xx
ReplyDeleteSo much good advice given in the above comments. I hope you can find something that will help calm your troubled mind.
ReplyDeleteHappy Winter Solstice...yesterday!
ReplyDelete