Thank you all once again for your support, it does help. And yes YS, I absolutely do agree that he is aware of his cognitive decline, and I'm sure it does worry him. Whilst that may be a reason for his behaviour towards me (and his general behaviour), it's not an excuse to be so scathing, critical and unappreciative - I'm his wife and carer, not his enemy. Up till now he's generally been careful not to be snappy or downright rude towards me in public or when we have visitors, but I have noticed recently that his control is beginning to slip. So I think it's only a matter of time before others around us have their eyes opened as to how he really is and what I have to cope with.....thus far, people we know, even family and friends, are quite sceptical when/if I tell them, as he seems quite 'normal' on the surface. And I'm sure they think I'm putting it on or exaggerating.....for sympathy or attention, I guess! It's a lonely life when you're living with something like this and you're not believed or understood, I know that only too well.
We had a relatively quiet day yesterday, with just the usual amount of minor dramas. I did washing, housework and some meal prep, husband did some weeding and deadheading in the garden - unasked, for a change. The washing got wet in a quick sharp shower, but soon dried out once the shower had moved away and the sun came back out - it was windy too, which helped dry it. We had our first home grown aubergine with dinner - I cut it in half lengthways and roasted it, having brushed it with oil and a dusting of paprika, then topped it with grated cheese to melt. Lovely with king prawns and veggies.
Husband says his back is sufficiently recovered for him to go to the gym this morning, so I get an hour by myself. I need to meal plan and do a bit of banking, don't need any shopping this week, we're well stocked up.
Tomorrow it's husband's turn to go on the shoppers bus to Bridgy, he's arranged to meet his mate there. So Betty and I will have around 4 1/2 hours of blissful peace.
Heavy showers forecast this morning, although it's blue skies with some fluffy white clouds and sunshine right now. Showers for the next few days as well, hopefully enough to benefit the garden. It's been a brilliant summer weather wise this year hasn't it, if a bit too hot for Betty and I at times.
Enjoy your peaceful day tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteWe believe you, it's just a shame we can't all get together for coffee, chat and laughter!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your "me" time, today and tomorrow. Use it to do things you enjoy, definitely NOT housework!
We had rain yesterday for the first time in ages. The garden is already looking happier. Oh, and by the way, the poppy seeds you sent me are growing well. No flowers yet, but I'm hoping they'll continue to flourish and then seed everywhere! xx
It’s been too hot for me for most of the summer but we finally had some very heavy rain showers yesterday which has perked up the garden. Enjoy your peaceful time today and use it to do something that you enjoy. Catriona
ReplyDeleteA break from your hubby two days running should do you the power of good! People with cognitive impairment can sometimes be "a street saint and a house devil", as the old saying goes. But, as you say, over time the behaviour becomes much more apparent to others and makes it easier for them to accept the truth of the matter. Not easy, though, I know...
ReplyDeleteYes very hot here too altho' some rain here this morning.. life's not easy for you, enjoy your time by your self.
ReplyDeleteThat he reserves his nastiness for when you’re alone with him is awful - in a way being less and less able to mask it may be a bleak blessing for you.
ReplyDeleteFor you not to be believed by friends and family must be very hard.
This is very common with people with cognitive impairment. My friends dad was really lovely to us when we visited but his wife bore the brunt of his temper when they were alone quite often. Thinking of you and sending best wishes. Hopefully you will have a nice day tomorrow x
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to read this Sooze. It was scary when I was badly affected cognitively. I couldn't remember my age, the name of the road where I live, couldn't hold a conversation as I couldn't remember words, what I'd just said, or what someone had said to me. At one point I was certain that my husband and daughter were trying to make me think I was going mad. I was undiagnosed and had no idea what was happening to me aged 55, then covid struck and I couldn't access medical help, but I wasn't nasty to my family. I wish I was nearer and could take you out for a coffee and a natter, and I'm sorry for all the women who I read about on blogs whose cognitively affected husbands seem able to treat others better than their own wives.
ReplyDelete