Husband was positively horrible yesterday, I'm not going into details but he reduced me to tears. Shortly after, he suddenly announced he was going into town and immediately left. It was only half an hour later when I realised he hadn't taken the car, meaning he was going on the bus (and being Bank Holiday, I assume there were less buses running, not that he would realise that), he also hadn't taken his angina spray or his phone. Silly man. I assumed he'd come back with a bunch of flowers, his usual way of saying sorry without actually saying the word, but he didn't - in fact he had nothing in his hands on his return a couple of hours later, so I don't know whether he bought anything. He was however red in the face and sweating profusely - it was a hot day and he'd probably had to wait a while for buses each way, I made him sit in his recliner chair with the fan on and gave him a cold drink, he was lucky he hadn't collapsed or had a heart attack.
When he left so abruptly all I could think was "Good!", it gave me a break. I sat there in tears, wondering how our previously good life has been reduced to this. I'm not asking for sympathy, it's just the reality of how life is nowadays, and I just have to get on with it.
He seems to be in a better mood - so far! - this morning. I've got things to do so I'm just going to get on with them, keep my head down and keep out of his way.
This post reminds me so much of my friend. Her husband had vascular dementia and I know there were times she felt so alone, frustrated and betrayed at the thought of the life they'd once had. I also know this happened more often than she said, as, like you, she kept a lot away from prying eyes. It's a living hell with no timeline to it and is unfair. Thoughts with you and others undergoing the same. Not much help, if any, I know.
ReplyDeleteI'm told punching pillows is a good stress reliever however I'm wondering whether it would work better to punch his! (hugs)
ReplyDeleteI'm staying with my daughter for a few days and I've had no palpitations and no panic attacks since I've been here. It just shows what a nightmare it is living with my husband!
ReplyDeleteHugs. I know nothing I can say will help. Just know I'm only a click away. xx
ReplyDeleteYou are amongst friends, and so many of us understand completely what you're having to cope with. It's the unpredictability that makes it so tough and, as you say, the stark contrast with how things used to be. I'm so sorry you were mistreated. 🤗🤗
ReplyDeletePlease know you are not alone.
ReplyDeleteWhile not wishing to excuse his behaviour in any way ( I’m definitely Team You! ) do you think he’s becoming aware of his cognitive decline and panicking a bit at the loss of control?
And taking it out on you as the nearest punchbag?
Just a thought.
Sorry to hear you were treated like this by your husband. I know there is nothing I can say to help but please know you are in my thoughts as you go through these very difficult experiences.Catriona
ReplyDeleteLike all the above, I am so sorry. I hope today is better.
ReplyDeleteOh Sooze love. I'm selfishly wondering if this is what I have to look forward to. My heart aches for you (and me).
ReplyDelete