Nothing happening, sorry

 I feel like I've got nothing to write about at the moment - nothing's happening, life is just plodding along, husband is still waiting for his hospital operation date, I'm waiting for my next GP consultation (postponed till tomorrow) and my first osteopathy session (8 November).  We're not going anywhere (Covid cases are rising so I don't feel inclined to go anywhere there may be crowds), we're stocked up so don't need shopping for a few weeks, we've got nothing planned.  Husband wanted to take me to the pictures to see the Bond film for my birthday, but I really don't fancy the idea of sitting in a cinema for 3 hours with a load of strangers who may or may not be wearing masks.  I've noticed over the past few weeks whenever I've gone shopping that more and more people are not now wearing masks.  We always wear ours.

We did go to the craft fair yesterday, we got there early to avoid the crowds - right thing to do, other than the stallholders, there weren't many buyers at all, although there were quite a few people arriving as we left.  There were rather a lot of jewellery stalls, which I wasn't really interested in, but I did get a couple of small pretty fused glass Christmas tree decorations and a Christmas present for a friend.

I didn't plant up the pots with bulbs the other day.....I had every intention of doing it, but it was so cold and windy outside I thought 'not blimmin likely' and came back indoors, wimp that I am!  I'm really feeling the cold nowadays, highly unusual for me.  I might get husband to put the picnic table up in the utility room and pot up the bulbs in there today - it's unheated, but at least it's indoors and therefore not so cold and windy.

Husband says he's left some tools at the caravan that he'd really like to have here (typical of him), so we may pop back there one day this week.....it'll give me a chance to check I've remembered to do everything during the close up we did last week.  The site closes for winter in exactly a week's time, the gates are locked so we won't be able to go after that.  I don't feel sad about it anymore, I'm just looking forward to next Spring.

Well, I've managed to fill a few paragraphs writing about nothing in particular, so better stop before I bore you readers to death! 😂

One job at a time...

 ....then a little rest, then another job, I think that's the way to go from now on.

Husband has this morning hoovered upstairs (the downstairs needs doing again, but it's not likely that will happen for another few days 😉....anyway, at least he did the upstairs) and cleared off the bed in my craft room.  It had accumulated lots of stuff, mainly his spare pillows (he constantly changes pillows and just dumps whichever ones he's not using on that bed), a couple of overnight bags (which are meant to go on top of his wardrobe, ditto his spare pillows), some of his junk which he's now removed, and a bag of my yarn and an unfinished crochet project...these have gone into my craft drawer set on the landing.  So now I can stack all the caravan stuff we brought home on the spare bed....we're unlikely to be having any visitors staying overnight anytime soon.

I've made pastry this morning, divided into 4 lots and frozen 3 of them.  With the 4th lot I'm going to be making pasties for our dinner tomorrow evening, probably bacon, potato, onion and cheese.

It's currently looking quite cloudy out, hopefully it'll blow over so I can go in the garden and plant up some pots with Spring bulbs, husband will get the fold up table out of the garage and put the pots on it for me, so I don't have to bend, and lift them down when filled.  The remaining half of the front garden needs pruning and weeding, that may or may not get done today.....probably not.  Well, definitely not.

Haven't had my phone consultation with my GP yet following the MRI scan - apparently they're very short staffed at the surgery this week and it's been postponed to Monday.  Well, I've had the pain for so long now, a few more days isn't going to make much difference.

Thank you for all the kind comments and useful information, it's appreciated very much.

Every time I catch sight of my new Christmas tree in the corner of the lounge, it makes me smile 😀  I'm itching to start decorating it, but will resist the temptation - I don't want to peak too early 😂😂

Knowing my limits, and when to ask for help

 In common with lots of women, I expect, I do most things in the house, always have.  We don't have children (husband has grown up children and grandchildren from his first marriage - I never wanted any myself) and husband always worked far more hours than me, even when I worked full time as a secretary.  So it seemed only fair that I did most of the cooking and housework....even when he retired I carried on doing everything, as he took on lots of gardening and DIY work for neighbours.  He doesn't do as much of the gardening and DIY maintenance jobs as he used to, as it got to the point where he was working more or less full time, taking too much on and wearing himself out, now he does perhaps 1 day a week.  He's still known as the 'go-to' handyman around here for odd small emergency DIY jobs, he also dog walks for neighbours sometimes and puts bins out/feeds cats when neighbours are on holiday.  He's not now doing much in his veg garden, as we've made a mutual decision not to grow much for next year, as we'll spend most of our time at the caravan.  So he's pretty much abandoned the back garden, other than (very gradually) clearing the beds and cutting the lawn.

He does have a couple of jobs indoors - one being emptying the indoor bins and putting the rubbish out on dustbin day, the other doing the vacuuming.  He's always done the bins, the vacuuming he started doing a few months ago as he knows I was struggling to do it as it hurts my back so much.  However, I generally have to ask him to do these jobs, he doesn't seem to notice when bins are full up and the rugs are covered with dog hair 😒😖

I do almost all the cooking, he will occasionally make lunch (more often than not, something on toast or simply serving up something I've made, like a quiche or soup).  He'll also usually do a cooked breakfast if we're having one at the weekend - we don't always though.

Husband will do whatever I ask him to (although it might take several days of asking before it gets done!), but isn't very good at offering to do things, or even noticing when something needs doing.  I guess I'm partly to blame for this - as I've always done everything, he's simply used to me doing it.  And I've carried on doing it, even when my back, hips and legs are killing me and I'm worn out because of pain and not sleeping.  I'm not being a martyr, I'm just like my Mum was - if something needs doing, I generally think it's quicker and easier to do it myself, rather than having to explain to someone who forgets things instantly, how to do it.  I could tell husband what vegetables to serve with dinner, e.g., and by the time he gets to the kitchen he will have forgotten what I said!

Anyway, I sat him down yesterday and said that with my back and legs the way they are at the moment and the amount of pain I'm in, I just cannot carry on doing everything, I need him to help out more.  He said he'd already thought of that, and agreed he would.  I've also realised that I can't push myself to the limit and try to do everything - I've got to be realistic about what I can do.  Doing too much in one day just results in me having even more pain and aches, and then I don't sleep very well at all, meaning I'm fit for nothing the next day.  And when I'm in pain, aching everywhere and worn out, I'm VERY crotchety (as husband and best friend will testify to!).

So I'm taking a step back and only doing what I can manage fairly easily - if a job doesn't get done, well there's always tomorrow, or the next day.  I'm not going to be doing all the cooking from now on, there are plenty of meals that husband can easily manage.  There's loads of home cooked ready meals in the freezer that he's only got to pull out and add veggies to, there are also several bags of various chicken pieces, fish, cubed pork or beef all frozen, jars of cooking sauces, packets of rice and plenty of frozen veggies.  So easy meals to be made.....although I will have to tell him what to do!

On a happy note, this afternoon I took the Christmas tree I bought last week out of the box and put it together.  Considering it's the first one I've ever bought, and (obviously) it's an artificial one, I really like it, it's quite realistic looking......although I wish I'd bought the next size up (it's a 4 foot one, to go on a coffee table in the corner of the lounge, I think a 5' one would have been better).  I know it's still October, but the tree can now stay there in the corner of the room!!  Don't worry, I haven't gone mad, I shan't be decorating it until December 😂😁

Feeling better

 Thank you ladies for your kind words, it means a lot.  FB, welcome, and thank you for your suggestion to take the pain meds every 6 hours for 2 days at a time, that's a good idea and I might try that.  The hospital consultant also suggested, as well as the codeine, another couple of meds that she said may be useful - amitriptyline, which I've had before for back pain (it's an antidepressant, but in lower dosages is a good muscle relaxant and has the added bonus of making you sleepy, so a good one to take at night), and one I've not heard of before, gabapentin.  Apparently, it's for epilepsy but, like the amitriptyline, can also be used for other purposes, in this case nerve pain.  I shall discuss these with the GP when I speak to him in a day or two.

As I was feeling so down and the pain was really bothering me this morning, I suggested to husband that we go out for lunch at our favourite garden centre, so we did.  Had frittata and salad with a massive pile of chips which I only ate a couple of, they really weren't necessary, the salad was huge as well.  And then we looked around the Christmas display, which was lovely, really took my mind off things.  Husband bought me a couple of nice tree decorations (oh, did I mention I actually bought a Christmas tree last week?) and a box of the new Lindt salted caramel chocolates, to be put away for my birthday next month.  He also told me to choose a few more tree decs (there's a Christmas craft fair on Saturday) and he'll pay for them.

Having seen and been thoroughly checked out by the GP, and then going to hospital, I can honestly say, and with gratitude, that every single medical person I came into contact with yesterday, was unfailingly helpful, kind and extremely cheerful.  Yes, there was a lot of waiting around, especially at the hospital, but people came to check on me regularly (I was in a wheelchair the whole time, because of the possibility of this serious spinal emergency, the cauda thingy).  We are so lucky to have our NHS, despite the problems it has.  

I'm also very grateful that I had the MRI so quickly - not only for ruling out the serious thing, but also because it diagnosed my prolapsed disc.  I feel kind of vindicated, if you understand what I mean - I was beginning to feel that people around me had little sympathy for me, thinking 'oh why's she moaning about a bit of back pain, everyone gets backache occasionally!'.  Well, there's a genuine reason why I'm in so much pain - and it's not even the first time I've had a prolapsed disc.  Hopefully though, medical stuff has advanced since my first one 42 years ago, and I'm hopeful that a combination of the appropriate medication, and the osteopathy I shall be having soon, will sort it out this time.  It would be so nice to be pain free, or at least for it to be manageable.

Pain

 It's 02.54 and I'm downstairs drinking a cup of Horlicks, having been awake, tossing and turning, for the past hour and a half.  I'm in so much pain from all the prodding, poking and yanking the GP did yesterday morning (he did keep apologising), and the very uncomfortable 20 mins spent lying flat on my back under strict orders not to move a muscle in the MRI scanner.

I'm just so tired of being in constant pain, it colours everything about my life.  I can understand why and how people become addicted to pain medication, but I'm not going down that route....hence why I don't take painkillers regularly, although the consultant I saw yesterday said I should, and that codeine would be the drug of choice.  Well, it makes me terribly constipated, and it's addictive, so it's not something I am inclined to take with any regularity.

I feel downright miserable at the moment, sorry to be on such a downer.  I'll snap out of it eventually.

Been to docs, and hospital

 Having examined me this morning (not just my foot, but everywhere!) very thoroughly and done loads of tests on my feet and legs, the very nice youngish GP changed his mind.  He didn't think it was a vascular or heart problem, he thought it was a nerve or spinal problem, probably related to the ongoing back problems I've had for 40 years.  He tested the strength in my toes and said I have very pronounced weakness in my right big toe - I hadn't even noticed, but when he did the test it was blindingly obvious.  He thought that was probably related to nerve damage.  Anyway, he said he would get in touch with a spinal consultant, told me to go home and wait for him to call me back.

Which he did about an hour later, and things moved rather quickly after that - he told me to go straight to A&E to have an emergency MRI scan, he said I was booked in and they were expecting me.  He said both he and the spinal consultant were concerned that I might have something called Cauda Equina, never heard of it but it's some kind of nerve damage that is a spinal surgical emergency (good to know! 😳).

Well, to cut a long story short - I don't have that, thank goodness.  But I do have a prolapsed disc (for the 2nd time, I had one when I was 19).  The consultant said to take painkillers REGULARLY (she stressed that, having ascertained that I don't take them at all regularly), she was referring me back to my GP and said it was up to him to work out the next moves.  She said my numb big toe is caused by the prolapsed disc pressing on a nerve.

However, she said my case was unusual - the particular numbness and back/leg pain I have is normally caused by a prolapsed disc at L5, whereas mine is L3 and 4.  And, even more unusually, I apparently have one extra vertebrae than normal, which the consultant said may exacerbate my back pain and may possibly be the reason why my particular prolapse is not the usual L5.  (So I'm special! 😉😂😂).  I was so astonished to find out only at the ripe old age of 61 that I have this extra vertebrae, having never been told before, despite having back scans and xrays over the years, that I didn't even think to ask what it means for the future, if anything at all.  I will apparently have been born with this extra vertebrae.

It's very strange, this isn't the first time I've found out I have a problem that no doctor has ever thought to mention before - when I was in my late 30s (may even have been my 40s), I was told by a GP at the new practice we'd joined, having moved house, that I have a mild congenital liver disease, it showed up on blood tests.   What?!?!  I've had loads of blood tests, nobody ever mentioned it previously!  It doesn't actually affect me in day to day life, but could give me jaundice if I'm ever seriously ill or in an accident.  So really something that's useful for me to be aware of!

I'm very tired (having not slept much last night) and in even more pain now, the MRI scan is not a pleasant experience - very claustrophobic, very noisy and having to lie perfectly still and not move a muscle for about 15 or 20 minutes, flat on my back, gave me pins and needles and cramp.

I do feel better for knowing the cause of my problems, but don't yet know what's going to happen next.

Bit of a shock

 Well, I had an interesting (and somewhat shocking) end to the day yesterday.

For about 3 weeks now I've had loss of sensation in my right big toe - if I prod it with my fingernail I can barely feel it, it's like there's a rubber sheet covering the toe.  Sometimes, if I knock it with my other foot in bed, e.g., it's quite painful - as if I've suddenly been stabbed with loads of needles.  I assumed it was probably a diabetic problem, maybe the start of neuropathy, so rang the surgery yesterday to speak to the diabetes nurse....only to be told that she left last month (pity, she was lovely and really knowledgeable about diabetes).  When I explained the problem, the receptionist said I needed to speak to the duty doctor.  He duly rang late afternoon...after asking me lots of questions, he then said, rather disturbingly, that he didn't think it was a diabetic problem, but that the symptoms I'd described pointed to a circulatory/vascular/heart problem.  He said he would speak to a vascular consultant at the hospital and ring me straight back, he indicated that I'd most likely have to go to hospital straight away and spend the night there being tested! 😲

However, when he rang back he said the vascular consultant didn't think I needed to go to hospital immediately, but that I certainly needed an urgent referral to him.  The consultant said the GP should see me early the next morning to assess my foot face to face (well, face to foot 😂) and in the meantime, whilst waiting for the urgent consultant appointment, start me immediately on anti-platelet medication.  The GP also said that if I noticed my foot changing colour during the night, or I had severe pain in it, I should go to hospital straight away (he mentioned gangrene)......well, that ensured I had very little sleep last night 😒

My toes haven't dropped off (or turned black) in the night, so I'm still here.  My appointment with the GP is at 10 am, I'll be on tenterhooks until then.  I've resisted the temptation to google anything, no point in scaring myself to death.