No, not Christmas (which I don't really care about) - the winter solstice, the shortest day. I know it won't make a huge amount of difference to the length of the days for ages yet, but it is a huge psychological boost. It's all getting better and brighter from Friday onwards....well, that's what I'm telling myself. As I type this there's yet another howling gale raging outside, we seem to have had loads of them lately. I hate winter.
It's silly o'clock again (01.42 to be precise). Seems like I have one fairly good night after weeks of constant broken nights and being totally knackered, and then it's back to normal...my normal, waking up and not being able to get back to sleep. And it's always when it's the middle of the night and you can't sleep that your mind is the most active, and it's never good stuff is it.
There's one thing that's going round and round in my mind and it's hurting me a lot. But there's nothing I can do about it, I've tried. I just wish things were different. Or that I could let go, which it looks like i'm going to have to. It just feels like years of my life are being dumped, without a thought or care.
I know I'm not making much sense and nobody - well, almost nobody - knows what i'm talking about. I can't say any more.