It's husband's birthday today (68, blimey) and I'm cooking what he wants....he's asked for prawn cocktail, a lamb leg steak with the veggies he likes (virtually everything!), followed by cheese and biscuits. So an easy meal for me to do. We rarely buy each other presents now, but generally buy something for ourselves - that way we get exactly what we know we want. He bought himself a new pair of winter boots in the sales.
And an OMG - Sis weighed mum yesterday....she's lost 2 stones in the past 4 weeks, worryingly. She's not been eating much as she's feeling/being sick every couple of days, and has had diarrhoea pretty consistently for weeks as well. I - well, we - really hope the docs get to the bottom of all this sooner rather than later. But when all her tests keep coming back as normal, I think the doc is at a bit of a loss as to what to do next. Mum's quite weak, understandably, and is very down about it all, which is to be expected. Sis has spoken to the doc, who's asked for a urine sample to be taken in. She's also advised stopping another of mum's tablets. Mum has to go for more blood tests on Thursday. It's very hard not to worry.
I've got a big list of things to discuss with sis and brother tomorrow. I hope between us we can all come up with some good ideas to help mum. Brother was a police officer for 30 years, so he's pretty sensible.
Tuesday, 8 January 2019
Monday, 7 January 2019
Sleep and energy topped up
I've had a lovely restful peaceful weekend and feel so much better for it.
Saturday morning I spent sat on one of the twin beds in the spare room (its lovely and bright in there), reading, crocheting and making notes for our coming sibling day on Wednesday. Betty kept me company, mostly asleep on the other bed, but being a bit mischievous when awake, sitting on my legs and trying to bite my toes through the fleece blanket, little monkey. Husband amused himself downstairs, playing games on his computer or watching endless repeats of Top Gear and Wheeler Dealers on TV (no doubt with the tv remote in his hand, constantly flicking through all the channels - it's such a man thing isn't it? Drives me nuts!). Anyway, I'm sure he enjoyed me not being there to heave big sighs and roll my eyes!
In the afternoon, I turfed Betty out to go back downstairs with Dad (she fidgets and snores too much) and snoozed for a couple of hours. Went downstairs for dinner and watched TV for a while, then had an early night....and actually managed the whole night without having to get up and go downstairs.
Sunday I felt energised enough to get up, although didn't do much at all, just more crocheting and reading mainly, although we did pop out in the morning for a mooch round the shops. Husband took care of all the food for the weekend, heating and serving everything I'd made and washing up afterwards, it was fantastic to have a weekend off doing all that.
I think I need to have a weekend, or even just a day, off more often, it's done me good.
Mum's been up and down the past few days, she wasn't at all well on Saturday but felt a bit better yesterday. Husband's brother, who's a general builder, went to see her yesterday to fit a banister to her stairs, there was one on one side but not the other and Mum needs two. She's got someone from the Council going in to see her soon, with a view to assessing her needs and hopefully agreeing for her to have a downstairs loo fitted - there's a large walk-in cupboard in her hallway that would be perfect for it. She certainly needs it, she can only just about get up and down stairs very slowly now, I should think it won't be long before she can't manage the stairs at all.
It's silly o'clock again but that's fine, I'm drinking a cup of warm milk whilst doing this blog post and then will go back to bed. It's my new normal.
Saturday morning I spent sat on one of the twin beds in the spare room (its lovely and bright in there), reading, crocheting and making notes for our coming sibling day on Wednesday. Betty kept me company, mostly asleep on the other bed, but being a bit mischievous when awake, sitting on my legs and trying to bite my toes through the fleece blanket, little monkey. Husband amused himself downstairs, playing games on his computer or watching endless repeats of Top Gear and Wheeler Dealers on TV (no doubt with the tv remote in his hand, constantly flicking through all the channels - it's such a man thing isn't it? Drives me nuts!). Anyway, I'm sure he enjoyed me not being there to heave big sighs and roll my eyes!
In the afternoon, I turfed Betty out to go back downstairs with Dad (she fidgets and snores too much) and snoozed for a couple of hours. Went downstairs for dinner and watched TV for a while, then had an early night....and actually managed the whole night without having to get up and go downstairs.
Sunday I felt energised enough to get up, although didn't do much at all, just more crocheting and reading mainly, although we did pop out in the morning for a mooch round the shops. Husband took care of all the food for the weekend, heating and serving everything I'd made and washing up afterwards, it was fantastic to have a weekend off doing all that.
I think I need to have a weekend, or even just a day, off more often, it's done me good.
Mum's been up and down the past few days, she wasn't at all well on Saturday but felt a bit better yesterday. Husband's brother, who's a general builder, went to see her yesterday to fit a banister to her stairs, there was one on one side but not the other and Mum needs two. She's got someone from the Council going in to see her soon, with a view to assessing her needs and hopefully agreeing for her to have a downstairs loo fitted - there's a large walk-in cupboard in her hallway that would be perfect for it. She certainly needs it, she can only just about get up and down stairs very slowly now, I should think it won't be long before she can't manage the stairs at all.
It's silly o'clock again but that's fine, I'm drinking a cup of warm milk whilst doing this blog post and then will go back to bed. It's my new normal.
Friday, 4 January 2019
Exhausted
Thanks for comments, it is hard to know that Mum's deteriorating and it does make us feel helpless. The GP asked if mum needs a carer for personal care - she said no, but that's something that sis, brother and I will discuss next week. It's good to know that the option is there if necessary.
I am utterly exhausted, after yet another broken night. There's a lot to do today - washing to get dried and put away (it'll be done in the tumble drier, as there's a heavy frost outside so it won't dry on the line). Bread to be made (dough proving already). Quite a lot of wrinkly root veg to deal with, I'll prep, roast and freeze it all. A pie to make for Sunday dinner - well, 2 actually, one to freeze, as I have enough pastry and filling. Pizza for tea tomorrow, it's a bought base, just have to add a few toppings. Slow cooker full of soup for lunches for the next few days, only needs whizzing up. I want to get all the food for the weekend prepared, so all husband needs to do is heat and serve.
I was asked the other day why I don't let husband do more to help. The answer to that is twofold - firstly, quite frankly it's easier to do it myself, if he does anything I have to keep stopping what I'm doing to give him step by step instructions, as he forgets constantly (a side effect of some of his heart meds). Secondly, he does the bulk of the dog walking, which gives me time to get on with things.
Once today's jobs are done, i'll collapse this evening and that will be that until Monday. Several appointments next week, including going up to Northampton for the day for our sibling pow-wow - it'll be a long day and I'll be wiped out, physically and emotionally, the next day.
I am utterly exhausted, after yet another broken night. There's a lot to do today - washing to get dried and put away (it'll be done in the tumble drier, as there's a heavy frost outside so it won't dry on the line). Bread to be made (dough proving already). Quite a lot of wrinkly root veg to deal with, I'll prep, roast and freeze it all. A pie to make for Sunday dinner - well, 2 actually, one to freeze, as I have enough pastry and filling. Pizza for tea tomorrow, it's a bought base, just have to add a few toppings. Slow cooker full of soup for lunches for the next few days, only needs whizzing up. I want to get all the food for the weekend prepared, so all husband needs to do is heat and serve.
I was asked the other day why I don't let husband do more to help. The answer to that is twofold - firstly, quite frankly it's easier to do it myself, if he does anything I have to keep stopping what I'm doing to give him step by step instructions, as he forgets constantly (a side effect of some of his heart meds). Secondly, he does the bulk of the dog walking, which gives me time to get on with things.
Once today's jobs are done, i'll collapse this evening and that will be that until Monday. Several appointments next week, including going up to Northampton for the day for our sibling pow-wow - it'll be a long day and I'll be wiped out, physically and emotionally, the next day.
Thursday, 3 January 2019
An update on mum, and looking after myself
Wherethejourneytakesme, thanks for your comment, and what you say makes a lot of sense, mum is not very mobile at all. The problem is actually getting mum to drink and eat - despite us, and doctors and the paramedics, telling her she must at least drink, if not eat, she often doesn't. She says she just doesn't feel hungry, or even thirsty, much anymore and often feels so sick she doesn't want to anyway. There's also the problem of her low mood - she's so tired of feeling ill that she doesn't really see the point of doing what she's supposed to. She is on antidepressants, has been for a long time, but they're clearly not working much anymore.
Sis took her to the GP today. Her GP admitted that, seeing as all mum's tests have come back normal, they really don't know what's wrong with her, although agreed it's clear there is something going on. The GP had a look at all mum's medications - it appears she's on about 15 different meds, plus 2 inhalers and a steroid skin cream. And, worryingly, she hasn't had a review of her medications in a very long time (we have an annual med review at our surgery!).
So the GP decided to take Mum off of some of her meds to see what effect that will have - 7 in total. She said for a start, mum doesn't need to be taking 2 meds for high BP - her BP has actually been very low, sometimes dangerously so, recently. Honestly, I sometimes wonder exactly what the doctors at mum's practice do - not a lot, it seems, and I really think, as does mum, that her doctors had more or less written her off because of her age. Sis did some straight talking with the doc and it seems to have shaken her up, hence the doc's change to being proactive. She's also taken mum off 2 or 3 other meds that have known gastro side effects, plus a couple of others, I can't remember what. Mum is to go back next week for blood tests, and then see the GP again a couple of days later. So at least, finally, something positive is being done. The GP said in the meantime, if we're at all worried about mum, to ring for the paramedics again.
I think part of the problem is where mum and sis live - on the edge of a large town, in a heavily populated area, and the GP surgery is swamped. Whereas we live in a rural area with a much lower population and have no problems at all with our doctors.
I'm busy tomorrow, but am going to have a weekend of doing nothing - I'm so tired my body feels like it's shutting down. I might even stay in bed. Got a busy week next week, so I need to build up my reserves. I also have a cold sore on my lip, for only the second time in my entire life, I guess because I'm run down.
Sis took her to the GP today. Her GP admitted that, seeing as all mum's tests have come back normal, they really don't know what's wrong with her, although agreed it's clear there is something going on. The GP had a look at all mum's medications - it appears she's on about 15 different meds, plus 2 inhalers and a steroid skin cream. And, worryingly, she hasn't had a review of her medications in a very long time (we have an annual med review at our surgery!).
So the GP decided to take Mum off of some of her meds to see what effect that will have - 7 in total. She said for a start, mum doesn't need to be taking 2 meds for high BP - her BP has actually been very low, sometimes dangerously so, recently. Honestly, I sometimes wonder exactly what the doctors at mum's practice do - not a lot, it seems, and I really think, as does mum, that her doctors had more or less written her off because of her age. Sis did some straight talking with the doc and it seems to have shaken her up, hence the doc's change to being proactive. She's also taken mum off 2 or 3 other meds that have known gastro side effects, plus a couple of others, I can't remember what. Mum is to go back next week for blood tests, and then see the GP again a couple of days later. So at least, finally, something positive is being done. The GP said in the meantime, if we're at all worried about mum, to ring for the paramedics again.
I think part of the problem is where mum and sis live - on the edge of a large town, in a heavily populated area, and the GP surgery is swamped. Whereas we live in a rural area with a much lower population and have no problems at all with our doctors.
I'm busy tomorrow, but am going to have a weekend of doing nothing - I'm so tired my body feels like it's shutting down. I might even stay in bed. Got a busy week next week, so I need to build up my reserves. I also have a cold sore on my lip, for only the second time in my entire life, I guess because I'm run down.
Positive planning
Up at stupid o'clock again. But it's fine, it gives me time to sit quietly without interruptions (other than Betty's snoring!) and make lists.
Thanks for all the comments, very comforting and supportive. Sue, I didn't know about dehydration possibly turning into urine infections - for a long time now, Mum's been having urine infections one after the other, in fact she seems to be almost permanently on antibiotics. I wonder if they even work anymore - she does seem to need longer and longer courses each time. She wasn't well again yesterday, more throwing up and diarrhoea and incredibly weak. Sister rang the GP - he said just to make sure she keeps drinking(!!), to get her to the surgery today (didn't feel it necessary to make a home visit, clearly) and to ring for an ambulance if necessary in the meantime (lets him off the hook then!). He'd had the results of the latest tests Mum had just before Christmas - normal apparently, with no action needed. So Mum's throwing up for no reason then!
There's clearly something going on, you don't have repeated projectile vomiting without warning, and repeated bouts of diarrhoea, over a period of weeks and months (it's been going on since last October) for no reason. All they've found is that she has a hiatus hernia. Mum is just so tired and weak and worn out with everything, she's 82 and says she's had enough.
Elder brother and I have made arrangements to go up there next week, pick up sis and go for lunch, so we can all have a brainstorming session. Hopefully, we can all come up with some ideas for things to help mum out. It's hard on sis as, living next door to mum, she's the one who has the day to day care. But it's also hard on elder bro and I, as we feel helpless as we're so far away (we're 150 miles from Mum, bro is even further away in Cornwall), and we sometimes feel out of the loop. Younger brother who lives with mum is just not coping at all.
Old age is a bugger! Well, old age and poor health.
So I've used my time this morning productively, have jotted down a few ideas of things siblings and I can discuss next week, and made some menu plans. I made a mildly curried turkey and veg soup for lunch yesterday, using the scraps of turkey I got off the carcass after boiling it up for stock, it was delicious. A veggie day today, we've had lots of meat meals lately. I'm going to have a day or two doing a lot of batch cooking of meals to freeze, we have so much meat in the freezer now. January is certainly going to be a low spend month.
Thanks for all the comments, very comforting and supportive. Sue, I didn't know about dehydration possibly turning into urine infections - for a long time now, Mum's been having urine infections one after the other, in fact she seems to be almost permanently on antibiotics. I wonder if they even work anymore - she does seem to need longer and longer courses each time. She wasn't well again yesterday, more throwing up and diarrhoea and incredibly weak. Sister rang the GP - he said just to make sure she keeps drinking(!!), to get her to the surgery today (didn't feel it necessary to make a home visit, clearly) and to ring for an ambulance if necessary in the meantime (lets him off the hook then!). He'd had the results of the latest tests Mum had just before Christmas - normal apparently, with no action needed. So Mum's throwing up for no reason then!
There's clearly something going on, you don't have repeated projectile vomiting without warning, and repeated bouts of diarrhoea, over a period of weeks and months (it's been going on since last October) for no reason. All they've found is that she has a hiatus hernia. Mum is just so tired and weak and worn out with everything, she's 82 and says she's had enough.
Elder brother and I have made arrangements to go up there next week, pick up sis and go for lunch, so we can all have a brainstorming session. Hopefully, we can all come up with some ideas for things to help mum out. It's hard on sis as, living next door to mum, she's the one who has the day to day care. But it's also hard on elder bro and I, as we feel helpless as we're so far away (we're 150 miles from Mum, bro is even further away in Cornwall), and we sometimes feel out of the loop. Younger brother who lives with mum is just not coping at all.
Old age is a bugger! Well, old age and poor health.
So I've used my time this morning productively, have jotted down a few ideas of things siblings and I can discuss next week, and made some menu plans. I made a mildly curried turkey and veg soup for lunch yesterday, using the scraps of turkey I got off the carcass after boiling it up for stock, it was delicious. A veggie day today, we've had lots of meat meals lately. I'm going to have a day or two doing a lot of batch cooking of meals to freeze, we have so much meat in the freezer now. January is certainly going to be a low spend month.
Wednesday, 2 January 2019
Positive wavering a bit
Thank you for all the encouragement and love - think I need it right now (well, we all do, don't we?!).
My 'positive' outlook for the year is already being tested, and it's only the 2nd day. Things are happening around me that I have no control over but are incredibly frustrating. And my mother had to have paramedics called out again last night, she'd been in bed unwell all day, not eating or drinking again, and as a result was dehydrated with really low BP and all confused again. Honestly, she's been told umpteen times she should at least keep drinking, and my younger brother (who admittedly does have lots of health problems himself, but is sometimes very self absorbed and unobservant) lives with her, so the pair of them should know better. Paramedics stayed with her for a couple of hours again, getting her to drink first, then eat something, and checking until her BP had risen to a more normal level. They also gave her a telling off....whether it'll do any good remains to be seen. It's so frustrating for me when I live 150 miles away. To make things worse, my sister, who lives next door to mum, was out last night.
Anyway, I've kept busy this morning - put all the (few) decorations away (can't bear to see them in January, they're SO last year), did washing, made soup for lunch, did some banking, made a few phone calls to make some arrangements for next week.
My 'positive' outlook for the year is already being tested, and it's only the 2nd day. Things are happening around me that I have no control over but are incredibly frustrating. And my mother had to have paramedics called out again last night, she'd been in bed unwell all day, not eating or drinking again, and as a result was dehydrated with really low BP and all confused again. Honestly, she's been told umpteen times she should at least keep drinking, and my younger brother (who admittedly does have lots of health problems himself, but is sometimes very self absorbed and unobservant) lives with her, so the pair of them should know better. Paramedics stayed with her for a couple of hours again, getting her to drink first, then eat something, and checking until her BP had risen to a more normal level. They also gave her a telling off....whether it'll do any good remains to be seen. It's so frustrating for me when I live 150 miles away. To make things worse, my sister, who lives next door to mum, was out last night.
Anyway, I've kept busy this morning - put all the (few) decorations away (can't bear to see them in January, they're SO last year), did washing, made soup for lunch, did some banking, made a few phone calls to make some arrangements for next week.
Tuesday, 1 January 2019
Positive
Happy new year to everyone, it's up to us to make it a good one. We had a lovely time with friends, who cooked us a nice dinner, we sat around the table chatting for hours, and then saw the new year in from their garden, watching fireworks in the nearby village and listening to the church bells ringing in the new year.
Several bloggers are coming up with a word to be their motto for the year. Mine's going to be POSITIVE. Something which was sadly lacking in my life and attitude last year. I can't prevent or change negative things that may happen in the future, but I can change how I cope with them. So here's to a positive new year.
Several bloggers are coming up with a word to be their motto for the year. Mine's going to be POSITIVE. Something which was sadly lacking in my life and attitude last year. I can't prevent or change negative things that may happen in the future, but I can change how I cope with them. So here's to a positive new year.
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