A rainy day

Thank you for all the comments, once again.  Cheryl, you mentioned Sundowner syndrome, which I hadn't heard of so looked up.  It does sound a lot like Mum, I've mentioned it to sis who will discuss it with the nurse.  However, at the moment the thinking is that Mum may well have another UTI, she's had more tests yesterday.  A community psychiatric nurse came to see her yesterday also, to do tests for dementia, but said they couldn't whilst there's the possibility of Mum having a UTI, as that could well be the cause of Mum's confusion etc and will taint the dementia tests.  She's had more aids (rails and so on) fitted this week and the emergency lifeline button is being installed on Friday.

We had an absolutely lovely time with our Kent friends at the beach yesterday, it was dry and warm if quite windy at times....I even got a bit sunburnt (doing a good impression of Rudolf the red nose reindeer today).  We had our picnic, then went for a walk and stopped at the Park café for drinks.  I hope it won't be too long before we see them again, hopefully they'll be able to come and stay with us.

Not done much today as we've had heavy showers ever since I got up - no thunder though as was forecast.  It does look as though it might be breaking up now though, the sun is struggling to come out.  We did pop out for a little bit of shopping and to post a couple of cards - I'm still making cards and still really enjoying the process.  Ideas for cards just pop into my head, which is nice (except when it's in the middle of the night!).  I have a family wedding card to make, I want it to be quite a chic and elegant design and know exactly how I want it to be, I've started on it and it's looking good.

Still no scan results for husband, which is frustrating.

There I am!

Thank you for all the recent comments....Gemma's P, you do make me laugh!  Joy, yes Mr R-M would be shocked 😉 - he's definitely living in the wrong era, that man, he's a strange one.

My faith in humanity (and the humanity of humanity!) has been restored, we've had a lot of help, both emotional and practical, from good friends lately and I'm so grateful.  I am blessed with the best of friends and I love them dearly (you know who you are!).

We are meeting up with 2 of our very good friends today, as I mentioned previously, we're so looking forward to it, they are such a lovely couple and we get on so well.  And Betty gets to have a run about on the beach, she absolutely loves the beach.  I hope it's not too crowded as it's now holiday season, but it shouldn't be - Dunster beach isn't a hugely popular one with tourists (despite having a small chalet park there) as it has no shops or amusement arcades nearby, so nothing to interest the tourists!  Give me an unspoilt beach anyday, you can forget about the candyfloss and penny arcades (do they even take pennies nowadays?).

Husband is very well at present (touch wood and whistle, as my Grandma used to say), he doesn't appear to have another UTI brewing.  I'm not holding my breath, though, it could still happen.  Still awaiting the results of his CT scan, they should be through this week.  Whatever the outcome, I'm sure we can deal with it, it's the not knowing that's horrible.

I've been having a minor problem with one of my feet....I had a diabetes review with my nurse about a month ago, she always asks if there's anything new to report since the previous review, so I told her about it.  She tested my feet (2 types of test for nerves and pulse) and they seem ok, she doesn't think it's anything significant at the moment but said it could possibly be the start of diabetic neuropathy, therefore I needed a referral to check it out.  She said she would initially refer me to a podiatrist, then if they found anything significant they would refer me on to a diabetic specialist.  Well, I'd heard nothing and was beginning to think that perhaps the nurse had forgotten to do the referral, but finally had a letter from Podiatry on Saturday.  It more or less said that I'm not a priority, they are extremely busy and wouldn't be able to see me for months, so go away!  Well, that's alright then, very reassuring!  😒  I don't honestly think it's a real problem - well, certainly not yet - but will go back to my nurse if anything changes.

My mother is very poorly and things are going from bad to worse.  She does now have carers in morning and evening, and a nurse comes every day to check her over and do blood & urine tests, which is excellent as it takes some of the daytime pressure off my sister.  However, sister has had to go over to mum several times in the middle of the night recently, mainly because mum has become very confused of late and very fearful, she keeps saying she's frightened, although can't explain why or what she's frightened of.  Her last urine & blood tests were inconclusive for infection, so they're being repeated today.  The nurse is arranging for a community psychiatric nurse to come out and do some tests, as she said it's possible mum may have a rapid onset dementia (she was tested for dementia a year or 2 ago and was found to be clear).  All very worrying.

I feel so much happier now (other than the worry about mum) - I kind of feel like I've found myself again after being lost for months.  I think a large part of that is due to my lovely friends 😊😍

Welcome to some new followers.  Lovely bright blue sky this morning, it's going to be a really nice day.

Friends

Lethargy and struggle

Last night was unbearably hot, even with the windows open.  I don't normally have the bedroom windows open at night (in case of 8-legged things coming in, as I have a phobia of them, and because the slightest noise, even an owl, wakes me up), but did last night as it was just so hot.  Not that it made any difference to the oppressive heat in the bedroom.  

Cousin has asked me to write something, a memory of Aunt, for the celebrant to include in her eulogy at the funeral, so I spent the night thinking about Sylvia and all the many good times and laughter moments we shared.  I think I've got the right one to include.  Can't believe there's still 12 days to go before the funeral, the wait seems interminable.

I just don't feel like doing anything lately.  I suppose it's partly the heat (it's forecast to be a lot cooler today, thankfully, although it doesn't feel like it at the mo), partly exhaustion as my lack of sleep has been even worse lately due to the heat.  And partly because we seem to be in limbo with waiting for the funeral and for husband's scan results - nothing through the post or from the GP yet.  I just feel like I can't move on until things have happened.  Obviously it would be great if husband's scan showed up nothing nasty....but even if it does, it'll be a positive thing because I can cope with anything, so long as I know what it is we're dealing with.  And right now we don't know.  

Things are tight financially again too, having had to pay out £73 at the vets the other day, and it looks like our kettle is on the blink.  I'm so fed up with struggling all the time....since the horrendously expensive repairs for the money pit car from hell last October, we've found it difficult to catch up.  It would be so nice to have an easier life.  Somebody said to me the other day "all you need is love".....well, a sackful of money, good health and no worries would be on my list.

I wonder where Sue in Suffolk is?  She normally posts daily but hasn't recently.....I hope you're alright, Sue.  And Pam, still no word from her.

Edit:-
Sue said she's taking a few days off blogging. Sorry, brain like a sieve atm.

Storms and sunshine

The night before last we (along with the rest of the country, apparently) had the most spectacular thunderstorms, they started around 11.30 pm - exactly as forecast.  I'd gone to bed early to try and get some sleep in, anticipating that I'd have to get up when the storms started, as Betty doesn't like them at all - she gets very anxious, whines and paces around.  Which is exactly what happened, so I got up and went downstairs.  I don't make a big fuss of her, so as not to fuel her anxiety, I just give her a quick reassuring stroke, tell her it's all fine, and then just sit in the armchair and read.  She kept woofing and running to the front door, so I got up and opened it for her - I knew she wouldn't actually go out, as it was chucking it down and she doesn't like going out in the rain.  She stood in the doorway, ears pricked, tail erect, big eyes, head darting from side to side, until a massive flash of lightning sent her - and me! - scuttling back into the lounge.  The first storm, although violent, was over quite quickly so I went back to bed, having first settled Betty back down in her bed.  Another one started about 3/4 hour later, so back downstairs I went, it lasted longer this time, so I stayed downstairs for over an hour.  Betty actually settled pretty fast, going to sleep on the sofa within about 10 mins, I dozed in the armchair in between the flashes of lightning which were so bright they lit up the entire room as if it were daylight.  Again I waited until the storm was over before going back to bed.

Consequently, I was knackered yesterday, what with lack of sleep and the heat....oddly, although yesterday wasn't as hot as the day before, I felt wiped out by the heat yesterday.  The thermometer read 31.5 on Tuesday, 26.5 yesterday....today is forecast to be 30 with wall to wall sunshine, I'll be melting in front of the fan.  Sunshine is lovely - hot sunshine though kills me, I can't cope with it.

A nice thing....we have good friends who we see just once or twice a year as they live on the Kent coast, the opposite side of the country to us.  They're coming down this way on holiday on Saturday, we've arranged to meet up with them for a picnic at our favourite beach next week.  It'll be lovely to see them again, D is on my wavelength, we're very similar in outlook and views and get on so well, her husband C is the sweetest, kindest most laid back man with not a bad bone in his body.  They're a lovely couple and we adore them.

Cousin had a meeting yesterday with the lady who's going to be conducting Aunt's funeral, she's a celebrant, not a member of the clergy, cousin said she's lovely, she spent 2 hours asking cousin all about Sylv's life and taking notes.  I'm glad it's not going to be a religious service done by some anonymous vicar who nobody's ever seen before - I detest that type of funeral, they're so impersonal.  And a religious service for Sylvia would be a total travesty, that was so far removed from what she was.  The wake is going to be in their local pub, which is so very Sylv!  She'd love it.  I'll be so glad when it's over and done with, though, it's awful being in limbo waiting for the funeral.

For Joy

One of the things I mentioned that was causing me stress was the thought of having to change our electricity supplier (we have no gas), as our current supplier, one of the big ones who we've been with for years, has consistently raised prices to the point where we are now having to pay double what we did a couple of years ago.  Joy suggested I try uSwitch.  I just have, and it was ridiculously easy, we've chosen a new green supplier who are a lot cheaper (saving us around £35 p.m.), have no exit fees, will pay the exit fees of our current supplier and, best of all, will do the entire switch themselves, meaning I don't have to do a thing.  I just hope everything goes to plan....the new account should start in about 3 weeks, apparently.  So thank you very much, Joy.

I won't be writing many blog posts for a while, it's just too much like hard work at the minute.

It's not all perfect

Thank you for comments.  I KNOW we are blessed with living in a nice place, having each other, having a lovely dog and nice neighbours.  I know my health is fine (well, other than my always-present hip and back pain, diabetes, mild congenital liver disease, ongoing severe insomnia and anxiety, stress and depression issues).  Does that make all the other stuff go away or even lessen?  No.

Yes mum and brother are getting help, but it's not the perfect solution it was hoped it would be.  Mum has carers morning and evening, and a nurse at lunchtimes - more often than not they don't appear to have the key safe code, which means they have to ring my sister to go and let them in (my brother, with his own mental health issues, is unable to open the door).  Mum and brother are not coping well with having so many strangers in the house.  Mum is getting more and more confused and panicky.....eg yesterday she rang my sister saying she couldn't breathe and needed an ambulance.  The very fact that she could ring and talk proved she didn't, although sister did go over to check - and the nurse had been in and checked her over less than an hour before.  Mum was fine actually, she was just having a panic attack.

Brother is showing signs of refusing to have further psychiatric help, which surprises none of us.  He's 47, if he refuses treatment there's not a lot we can do about it.

No earlier cancellation appointment forthcoming for husband yet...meanwhile, it is starting to look like he has another UTI coming on - the last one wasn't totally cleared.  His GP said the last time he doesn't want to keep prescribing antibiotics - well pardon me, but how else are they going to treat the UTI?  It can't remain untreated, it will just get worse.  So it seems we'll have to push for antibiotic treatment, yet another stress we can do without.

Our financial situation doesn't improve - we can manage, just about, but it's a constant and uphill struggle to stay within budget.  And yes we are claiming everything we're entitled to.  

I'm just so tired and fed up with struggling all the time - everything is a struggle.  And now Betty is showing signs of her regular ear infection (she will have them throughout her life because of the size and shape of her ears, according to the vet), which means another trip to the vet and another expense.  And of course it's not covered by her insurance, being an ongoing pre-existing ailment.

Good weather forecast this week, albeit too hot for me, being a fair-skinned English rose who burns and gets heat rash and headaches in the sun.  But husband will enjoy it.  We'll try to have a couple of short trips out nearby in the mornings before it gets too hot.  I shall do another freezer inventory today, and have a batch cooking day to get some more ready meals done for the freezer - we do at least have plenty of food in, and starting to get home grown veg.  

*Addendum

Mum fell over again in the early hours of this morning, on her way to or from the loo I imagine.  Sis had to go round again and call paramedics, who checked mum over, said she was ok and got her up off the floor and into bed.  It's just a constant worry.