Monday, 22 July 2019

It's not all perfect

Thank you for comments.  I KNOW we are blessed with living in a nice place, having each other, having a lovely dog and nice neighbours.  I know my health is fine (well, other than my always-present hip and back pain, diabetes, mild congenital liver disease, ongoing severe insomnia and anxiety, stress and depression issues).  Does that make all the other stuff go away or even lessen?  No.

Yes mum and brother are getting help, but it's not the perfect solution it was hoped it would be.  Mum has carers morning and evening, and a nurse at lunchtimes - more often than not they don't appear to have the key safe code, which means they have to ring my sister to go and let them in (my brother, with his own mental health issues, is unable to open the door).  Mum and brother are not coping well with having so many strangers in the house.  Mum is getting more and more confused and yesterday she rang my sister saying she couldn't breathe and needed an ambulance.  The very fact that she could ring and talk proved she didn't, although sister did go over to check - and the nurse had been in and checked her over less than an hour before.  Mum was fine actually, she was just having a panic attack.

Brother is showing signs of refusing to have further psychiatric help, which surprises none of us.  He's 47, if he refuses treatment there's not a lot we can do about it.

No earlier cancellation appointment forthcoming for husband yet...meanwhile, it is starting to look like he has another UTI coming on - the last one wasn't totally cleared.  His GP said the last time he doesn't want to keep prescribing antibiotics - well pardon me, but how else are they going to treat the UTI?  It can't remain untreated, it will just get worse.  So it seems we'll have to push for antibiotic treatment, yet another stress we can do without.

Our financial situation doesn't improve - we can manage, just about, but it's a constant and uphill struggle to stay within budget.  And yes we are claiming everything we're entitled to.  

I'm just so tired and fed up with struggling all the time - everything is a struggle.  And now Betty is showing signs of her regular ear infection (she will have them throughout her life because of the size and shape of her ears, according to the vet), which means another trip to the vet and another expense.  And of course it's not covered by her insurance, being an ongoing pre-existing ailment.

Good weather forecast this week, albeit too hot for me, being a fair-skinned English rose who burns and gets heat rash and headaches in the sun.  But husband will enjoy it.  We'll try to have a couple of short trips out nearby in the mornings before it gets too hot.  I shall do another freezer inventory today, and have a batch cooking day to get some more ready meals done for the freezer - we do at least have plenty of food in, and starting to get home grown veg.  


Mum fell over again in the early hours of this morning, on her way to or from the loo I imagine.  Sis had to go round again and call paramedics, who checked mum over, said she was ok and got her up off the floor and into bed.  It's just a constant worry.


  1. Thinking of you! Sometimes it just keeps getting worse and there are no words!!

  2. Amen girl, I do hear you.
    I am so sorry all of this is happening to and around you.
    I am so very sorry.
    Maybe take some time and write down the optimum solution for each and all of the problems.
    I do see there are so many of these things happening you have no control over , could it help to solve them in your mind and then see what you CAN do to solve them.
    Do you think the doctors are waiting for you to ask for the surgery for your husband? If what they are doing isn't working.


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