Thank you for all the lovely supportive comments lately, the ones on my most recent post aren't being published as I deleted that post. And I've had some really nice emails too, thanks for those and my apologies for not replying individually.
However, over the past few months I've also had a few not so nice comments (mostly anonymous, of course!) and even emails, including one or two comments and emails from fellow well-known bloggers who I've always followed and respected. None of the 'not nice' comments get published (after all, that is my prerogative) and I don't even mention them.
What I want to say to people who read my blog is that my life and what happens is just that - MY life. It's not yours, and nor do I respond to things in my life the same way that everyone else does - none of us do! If you've had a very long and happy life and marriage - well that's lovely.....unfortunately not everyone is blessed the same way. And we certainly don't all cope with things the same way - what a boring life it would be if we were all clones, sort of Stepford Wives. So please don't judge me based on YOUR experiences, nor TELL me how I should respond or what I should/shouldn't be doing!
I have few friends nearby (mainly because of where we live, and my lifelong trust issues) - the relationship with my 'best' friend is dead and I'm desperately sad at how it ended. My family don't live near me and, in any case, has been fraught with difficulties lately. As I've said before, I get no support at all and I often feel like I'm drowning. I am at my lowest ebb ever at the moment. But I've struggled to get through difficulties my entire life - I'm a fighter and a strong independent woman (although it doesn't feel like it right now) and I WILL get through this and carry on.
I write this blog partly because I like to have a record of things - such as caravan stuff - but also to get the bad stuff and things that are worrying me off my chest, seeing as I now have nobody close enough to me to actually talk to. However, I'm not going to be documenting every bad or irritating thing that happens now, because I no longer feel able to - even though it's my blog and it's entirely up to me what I write. In fact, I won't be writing much at all.
There's blue sky and the sun is trying to come out, although showers are forecast on and off all day, so I don't think I'll chance putting my washing out.