Tuesday, 15 November 2022

Bone idle

 I've told husband that today he's going to sort out his wardrobe and chest of drawers, both of which are stuffed to the gills, I've been asking him for weeks to do it (I did mine weeks ago).  He hardly even looks in them anymore (probably because a) he can't be bothered to put his clean clothes away after I leave them on his bed, and b) half of them don't fit him now), he just wears the same clothes - the ones I've washed and put on his bed (I don't do ironing) - all the time.  And they're tatty, with holes in and only fit for a scarecrow.....he has no interest in clothes, never has.  He's got some nice clothes in his wardrobe, he just never wears them!  He does change into something presentable if we're going out, as I've told him I'm not leaving the house with him looking like a tramp.  He grumbled and gave me a filthy look when I told him what he's doing today - but then I pointed out that yesterday he did virtually nothing except lounge in his chair and watch bloody TV.....ALL DAY.  He protested and said he'd done lunch.....erm, we had cheese & crackers, not some culinary masterpiece!  Oh, and he washed up once - well, half washed up, the rest he left in the bowl "to soak".  He said he'd been meaning to go in the garden to do a bit more clearing of beds but didn't as he thought it was going to rain - it didn't rain at all yesterday, despite looking grey and dismal, although the sun did come out late afternoon.  I said well he didn't have to sit there WAITING for it to rain, he could go out there and do a bit until (if) it did start raining.

Honestly, I cannot believe just how bone idle he is sometimes.  It's a good job we're not both like it!  He hasn't always been like this, he did used to be quite industrious, although did need prompting occasionally - he would always prefer standing around having a chat to actually doing any work.  He's gone downhill in the last couple of years - he's not depressed and his health isn't that bad.  He has occasionally said that he thinks he's worked hard enough throughout his life.  Well, haven't we all?!  I do wonder what would happen if I downed tools and did bugger all as has been suggested to me, but I wouldn't as it's just not in my nature to do that - if a job needs doing, then I do it, it won't do itself!

Several of you have suggested writing a list of jobs - that wouldn't really work.  For a start, as he's quite severely dyslexic he would have trouble reading the list and would have to keep asking me what it says.  And in any case, he would just end up ignoring the list and doing nothing again.  I just have to resign myself to asking (or even telling) him to do what I want him to do, when it needs doing.  And keep nagging him until he does it.  It's just so bloody annoying though, and it's making me really hard and unsympathetic.


  1. If your suggestion for sorting his clothes doesn't work could you do it for him? You could sort out a pile for the bin and a pile for charity and stress that if he wants to retrieve something 'for gardening in' then he's got 2/3 days to do this and then they'll be gone.

  2. If it's any consolation, I think it's a man thing. They rarely see the day-to-day work that need doing. I'm sure they think there's a little housework fairy who does it all. There is - it's us! 🧚 xx

  3. I feel for you Sooze, but your comment "clothes only fit for a scarecrow" made me chuckle! My husband isn't into clothes either, he sees them just as a necessity and hardly ever buys anything new. Actually I would hate to be married to a bloke who was clothes mad!!

  4. I made my husband get a new pair of work pants. They've sat for two weeks still in the bag. New jeans took him two years to finally wear, and only because his wore thin ones were very dirty and we were going out. I don't get it with men. I get not caring about clothes but to literally want clothes falling apart before replacing is something.

  5. I'm sorry to laugh but I think you have just described about 80% of the male population when it comes to clothes ... and maybe even a higher percentage when it comes to the over 60s!!

    Alan has two looks ... scruffy and super smart. As I don't attend the same business meetings as him I only get to see the super smart at weddings and funerals, so I live with a scarecrow. When we first met I added 'smart casual' to his wardrobe and it does very occasionally reappear but only when I jog his mind and refuse to go out with him wearing a t-shirt with holes in the front. As he puts up with me living in jeans and jumpers, I rarely complain about his lack of fashion sense. Each to their own I guess.

  6. It took me years to get my husband to get rid of tatty clothing. It also took me leaving his suit lying on the floor for almost a year (it was all wrinkled when he went to put it on) before he started hanging up his own clothing. When he asked me how I vacuumed the floors I told him I would lift it up, vacuum under the suit and drop it back down.

    God bless.


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