Tuesday 29 November 2022

Successful birthday lunch, and some answers

 The meal we went out for on my birthday was pretty much a disaster, for one reason or another, and husband had done nothing in the way of getting me anything, not even any flowers.  So I decided this morning we were going out for lunch....and then he had the cheek to say "well ok, if you've got the money"!!  Honestly, he leaves me gobsmacked sometimes - I did point out he was paying, since he'd made no effort to buy me a present, nor had he booked us in anywhere for lunch on the day (it was my last minute choice to go for the meal on my birthday, since he'd made no plans).  And this despite him taking his best mate to town 2 days before my birthday to have their regular brunch!  I can't remember the last time he took me out for a meal, prior to the rubbish birthday lunch.  With all the stressful stuff I've got coming up, with arrangements for appointments, horrendous forms to fill in, and things to organise for when husband is unable to drive for a week following his angiogram, I wanted a little bit of something nice.....the calm before the storm, if you like.

I chose to go to our other favourite garden centre, Sanders World.  It was taken over earlier this year and now focuses much more on home things and gifts, it's a huge place.  The restaurant, which was nice anyway, is now even better - as well as tables and chairs, it has lots of comfy sofas and armchairs and bookshelves everywhere filled with books old and new - some to buy (big coffee table type books) and lots to just browse through whilst you're eating and drinking.  In previous years the store has had nice Christmas displays, so I wanted to see what this year's was going to be like, given the change of ownership - not that I was intending to buy any decorations, but it's nice to look at them all.

The lunch was delicious, happily - I had a bacon, brie & cranberry toasted panini (well I did say the other day it was my favourite sandwich filling!) with nice salad, and a really lovely huge cup of frothy coffee.  Husband had a coronation chicken sandwich (his favourite) with salad.  And the restaurant wasn't very busy, thank goodness.  We had a look round afterwards, the Christmas display is massive, certainly bigger than it used to be, it was interesting looking at all the displays and gift things - and no I didn't buy anything.  However, I did get a new pair of slippers (reduced in a sale) and some nice birthday cards - I haven't really got time - or even the brain capacity - right now to make any, and there are 3 birthdays in December.  So my sort-of delayed birthday lunch treat was very nice.

To answer some recent comments.....HH, our garden's not really big enough for Betty to charge around - too many flower and veg beds and not enough grass.  But what I shall do is take her in the field behind our house - that way, I can let her off the lead as soon as we get in there and she can run around to her heart's content.  She'll get muddy though, but that's a small price to pay.  And yes HH and Joy, the AA form is horrendous!  One good thing though, it's recommended that you attach any medical correspondence in support of your application, and husband has today had a letter from his cardiologist following their appointment a couple of weeks ago, which gives precise details of his heart conditions and current problems, so that'll be a really useful attachment.  Sue, I had considered finding a professional dog walker but discounted it in the end - if anything should happen, eg Betty getting away from them and getting lost, or something else, I'd never forgive myself.  There was a report on FB a little while ago about a so-called professional dog walker who supposedly 'lost' 2 dogs in her care - they allegedly got spooked by something and ran off into the woods, never to be seen again.  The implication was that the person may have sold the dogs - which were pedigrees.  I'm sure true professionals are in the majority, but I'm not taking any chances with my beautiful baby.

Joy, you wondered whether husband might subconsciously be putting up obstacles so that I give in and do the jobs, I don't think so.  I'm sure it's just that he's so bloody disorganised and extremely forgetful - everything I tell him he forgets practically instantly.  I thought it was a side effect of some of his heart meds, which are notorious for causing brain fog, forgetfulness and tiredness, and I said as much to his doctor.  The doctor agreed, but said there was also another explanation - as his heart isn't working at full capacity, it may also be a case of the heart not pumping enough blood and oxygen to his brain.  Which was something I hadn't considered.  So now, when I have to repeat something I've already told him 6 times, I just try to take a deep breath and calmly tell him yet again.  It's downright bloody frustrating though, if I had a pound for every time I have to repeat something to him, every single day, numerous times a day, I'd be a millionaire in no time.


  1. Glad you (finally) got a nice birthday lunch out. Rather a muddy dog than you falling or getting pulled over. Just a word to the wise, and I'm sure, as you're so well organised you've already thought of it, take photocopies (and send them, if possible, keeping the originals) of everything you send with the AA form. Just in case! That's awful about the dog walker. The depths some people will sink to never ceases to amaze me. How heartbreaking for the owners. As for your husband's need for repetition, it makes sense that his heart condition may mean there's not enough oxygen getting to his brain. Obvious when it's pointed out! xx

    1. Yes it is obvious isn't it K? Just never occurred to me it could be the lack of oxygen! And yes I had thought I'd better take a photocopy of his doctor's letter and send the photocopy, but thanks xx

    2. I knew you'd have thought of that, Sooze. You're so much better organised than I am. I always mean to photocopy stuff before I send it off, then most times, forget. I never learn! xx

    3. I was a personal secretary for many years so had to be organised. Also, if I'm not organised now I get even more stressed!

  2. Thanks for the answers, Sooze, and that's a very good point about the blood flow, etc. I didn't know that.
    I am really glad your meal out was so lovely. That's brilliant. xx

  3. My husband will sometimes ask me the same question twice, such as 'what's for tea?'. I have a theory that it could be one of 3 reasons.

    First reason, he didn't really pay attention to the reply so he asks again later. Number 2 is that he didn't actually hear the reply so asks again later or number 3, his memory is slipping a bit and has forgotten what the reply was.

  4. I am glad that you got a good birthday lunch finally. I have already told Harvey he is taking me out for a birthday supper (or we can order in) as that will be for both our anniversary and my birthday, We usually do Chinese which gives us a couple of meals after the fact.

    God bless.

  5. Glad your lunch was nice. Frankly dear girl, he sounds like a

  6. Glad you had a nice lunch out together. I get sick of repeating things to Alan, but I've learnt a little trick over the last couple of years. I read in an article that men don't always listen to us when we first start talking so we have to 'switch them on' by saying something that leads into what we are about to say and then pause. Now when I first start a conversation with him or have a request, I start virtually every first sentence to him with 'I was thinking ....' and then leave time for him to look worried and say 'What?' it really works since he's been harder of hearing. This doesn't conquer the forgetfulness though; I still have to remind him over and over again about things. ;-)


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