Confusion

Yesterday morning I had a text confirming the date and time of my appointment for the 24 hour heart trace I'd rearranged for December...but they'd already texted the confirmation the day before.  A minute or so later, I had a 3rd text, giving the same date...but a time of 2 hours earlier!  So I don't know whether they've changed the time, or I have 2 appointments (can't think why), or it's simply a mistake.  I'll ring and ask nearer the time.

A couple of hours later I got another text....confirming my appointment for this coming Monday at the surgery....oddly, the time given was 'between 9.00 pm and 10 pm'!  Even odder, I hadn't even requested an appointment.  I rang to query it...after much tapping of keyboard and whispered voices in the background, the receptionist said 'erm just ignore it, it's a mistake'.  Well, clearly.  They don't do hour long appointments, and certainly not at night 😂.  I think the virus is scrambling everyone's brains.

It's just after 03.00 and I can't sleep again, brain is on overdrive and my anxiety palpitations are back.  Having come off my anti-anxiety meds about a month ago, I didn't really want to start taking them again, but looks like I might have to.  Right now I'm going to have some warm milk, snuggle up with my dog on the sofa and read a book.  A cuddle with an actual human friend would be nice (husband is upstairs snoring), but Betty will have to do! (No hardship).

Prioritising

I've come to the conclusion that I'll have to postpone my operation, there's just too many problems and other things to fit in and I simply can't do it all.  I'm disappointed about it, but have no choice really - husband has been waiting for his foot operation for well over a year and has already had to postpone it twice because of his prostate and UTI problems, so he needs to have this foot op now, so that takes priority.  I'll just have to cope with things for another few weeks.  I had an appointment come through yesterday for the 24 hour heart trace my GP said he wanted me to have as a precaution, after the virus and heart palpitations I had a few weeks ago.  Well, it's an inconvenient date (literally just after husband's op) so I've put that off till the middle of December.

On a positive note, I've lost another couple of pounds and now only have 3 1/2 pounds to go before I will then have lost 10% of my body weight, the target recommended by my consultant.  By the time I do get to have my op I should have lost even more than the 10%, so that should please him!

And the thing is, I haven't even been consciously trying to lose more weight (certainly not recently with everything else on my mind).  It's become so much a way of life now to eat very low carb and much smaller portions, I rarely even think about it anymore, I just do it.

Husband's got to go for an ECG today, he should have had it when he goes for his pre-op assessment next week but they couldn't coordinate a time near his assessment time 😒.  He then has to go and see his consultant a couple of days after the pre-op.  It's a pity the hospital couldn't have arranged for all 3 things to happen on the same day - all 3 appointments arrived in the same envelope!  The hospital is an hour's drive away and he's got to go there 3x in the space of a week, that's one of the downsides of living in a rural area.

It's stupid o clock again...

Been awake since just before 2 am, so gave up lying there waiting for sleep and came downstairs.  I have a lot on my mind so I know it's that, and the ever present hip pain, which is keeping me awake.  I'm trying not to think too much about the things that are worrying me...I do have a tendency to over think things and drive myself nuts.  I'm coping with stuff by taking control of the things that I can, and trying to just let go of stuff that I can't control and put it out of my mind.  Sounds easy on paper!  I'm getting there though.

Husband's daughter and SiL offered to come down and stay with us for a few days when husband goes into hospital for his foot operation, they said they'll take him and bring him home after.  Very nice of them, and pre-covid I would have said yes please and thank you.  But they both work in customer-based jobs and thus come into contact with lots of people, and live up in the Midlands in an area that has a much higher infection rate than here.  So that puts me off.  Plus right now I just see it as meaning a lot of extra work and stress for me, having to prepare for, feed, look after and clean up after extra people.  I'd rather not.  In any case, neighbours have already volunteered to take/collect husband, and I don't have to clean and prep a room, feed and entertain them and wash all their bedding afterwards!

In any case, it's likely that around the time of husband's op, I'll be self isolating in preparation for my own op, so having visitors staying here wouldn't be allowed anyway.

And that throws up another problem....walking Betty.  Technically, we shouldn't go out at all when self isolating, but she's got to be walked!  We've decided that we'll just have to take her only in the field behind us, at times when we know there'll be no other neighbours around walking their dogs - we can see the field from our home anyway, so can see when it's empty.  Husband obviously can't walk her when he's on crutches so it'll be my job, but if I can't because my hip is really bad, or if I'm recuperating from my own op, then another (dog owning) neighbour has offered to do it.

Other than that, I'm trying not to stress too much and just address problems as they arise, rather than my usual tactics of thinking up all possible eventualities.

I've started a new crochet project, a gift for a friend, it's lovely yarn and a nice pattern and I'm really enjoying doing it, so that gives me a nice bit of relaxation.

Think I'm tired enough to go back to bed now.

Head's in a whirl

Isn't it funny how each hospital differs?  Here I am waiting for a date for my bladder op....appointment letter for my pre-op (to be done over the phone!) says they can't give me an operation date until the pre-op nurse has signed me off as fit.  But yesterday husband was given a date for his foot operation, BEFORE they'd even given him a pre-op appointment!  And his pre-op assessment will be done in person at the hospital, not over the phone like mine.  But our ops are being done at different hospitals, so presumably they each have their own systems.

Husband's foot op is a bit complicated, but he's basically having his tendons broken and reset...he'll be in plaster and on crutches for a month and unable to drive for 6 weeks from the date of the op, 31st October, so that's about the middle of December.  And he's got to self isolate (and thus so have I) for 2 weeks prior to the op.  So yesterday was a flurry of cancelling and/or rearranging various appointments we had booked (car MOT, my chiropodist, Betty's grooming, hospital appointment for husband for a different matter).

It also means we can't go anywhere for 8 weeks - 2 weeks in isolation prior to op then 6 weeks after whilst he can't drive.  Shopping won't be a problem, we'll have it delivered.  And today I'll go through the larder and freezers and write a list of things to stock up on and get those bought before our self isolation starts on the 17th.

The difficulty arises when I get my op date, and another hospital appointment I'm waiting on....now that our hospitals are recommencing all the things that were postponed during lockdown, everything's coming at once, and it's all a bit awkward trying to fit it in and arrange everything.  Luckily we have friends and neighbours we can call on to help us out.

Monday (can't think of a witty title!)

Thank you for all the recommendations for food processors and grinders, I'll look into them all and let you know what I go with.  I've had a look on our neighbourhood selling sites, nobody's selling anything like that at the moment, I'll keep looking though.

Re the scam email, several people on the local neighbourhood page have said they've had the same email (with exactly the same details!) so it's obviously doing the rounds.

Moira, you asked about my hip.  I have both osteo arthritis and trochanteric bursitis in my right hip, and signs of OA in the left hip and knee also.  I don't know what the outcome will be, whether there's any pain relief meds more effective than paracetamol I can have, or maybe injections, but as my GP said, hip replacement is a last resort.  And I know Cherie had severe complications with hers as a result of her surgeon severing a nerve, frightening!  At the moment I manage with paracetamol, codeine occasionally, cold relief spray (I don't like the smell of Deep Heat) and a small TENS machine.  It'll get sorted eventually, the upcoming op for my diabetic bladder complications is more important right now.

I hope the rain eases off today, think we've had quite enough of it now!

Recommendations please? And...really?!

I've had my food processor a long time and it's not very efficient nowadays, it's a bit temperamental and the blades aren't very sharp anymore.  I mainly use it now for chopping up vegetables and grinding oats for oat flour, which it doesn't do very well lately - not fine enough, with large bits of oats still in evidence.  So I need something new and efficient - not necessarily a food processor, could be a simple grinder.  Do any of you have any recommendations?  Oh and I don't want to pay 100s, can't afford it.  Thanks in advance.

Yesterday I had an email purporting to be from HMRC, it was a fixed penalty notice for an offence of driving on a road for which there is a charge, without paying, it gave a date and time.  It asked me to pay a fine of £12.24 (bit of an arbitrary amount!), doubling and then quadrupling if I didn't pay within 14 or 28 days...I was supposed to click a link and pay by card, I didn't of course.  It was clearly a scam - it didn't have my name on it (I don't drive anyway!), didn't give our (husband's) car registration or the location of the 'offence'.  The email also had grammatical and typing errors.  Out of curiosity, I checked our calendar for the date given - it was a Saturday and we hadn't gone anywhere.  We've not driven on a road that carries a charge for I don't know how long, in any case.  Just how gullible do these scammers think we are?!  Well, I suppose some people might be taken in by it...personally, I think I can spot a scam email a mile off.

So much for breaking my run of sleepless nights....I was up again for 2 hours during the night, although did go back to bed and managed to get about an hour's sleep afterwards.  Might have to have a snooze this afternoon.  It's my hip that's keeping me awake, I will have to go back to the GP eventually, but not just yet.  I have a minor op coming up, my pre-op assessment is on the 21st so the op will be not long after that, I assume.  I'm also waiting on another hospital appointment for an unrelated matter.  Husband currently has 3 ongoing medical and hospital appointments.  Now that hospitals are starting seeing people again for non-Covid stuff, it's all coming at once, so I don't want to muddy the waters by introducing yet another problem, so I'll just have to put up with the pain for a bit longer.  When I last saw the GP about my hip, a year or so ago, she said a hip replacement is a last resort and if I could lose a bit of weight it might help ease the pain (it hasn't), and to see if I could manage with painkillers.  Paracetamol do very little to ease the pain now, I do take codeine occasionally if it's really bad.  I can't take anti-inflammatories as I have an adverse reaction to them.  Still, it's only pain, it could be worse!

We're in the grip of Storm Alex at the mo, lashing rain and howling winds during the night and set to continue until tomorrow morning, definitely a day for staying indoors.  Husband stays dry wearing full waterproofs and wellies when he's dog walking, and Betty wears her waterproof coat, albeit reluctantly.  It's so gloomy and dark, we've still got lights on.  I wouldn't be at all surprised if we had a power cut, and our internet is being temperamental.  Stay safe everyone.

Introspective one

Thanks for the lovely comments, you lot are so encouraging, supportive and kind!  Big virtual hugs to all....Isn't it such a shame that virtual hugs are about all we can have now? (unless you're in a bubble, I guess).  Oh I do miss hugs.  I did think I'd keep the jeans for 'best', for going out - but we don't go anywhere now!  Well, other than shopping, and an occasional beach walk with the dog.  None of that today, it's absolutely chucking it down.

Gemma's Person, you asked if my CBD oil helps my sleep (blasted tablet keeps changing CBD to DVD!  Annoys the hell out of me when my tablet keeps trying to tell me what it thinks I should be writing! 😠).  It used to when I first started taking it, but not anymore, nor does it ease my hip pain as much.  Think I need to up the dose, but it costs so much.

Ok, I still got up early (04.33), but actually slept the whole night through, didn't even need to get up for a wee - that's what woke me eventually I think, well that and the rain and wind.  So fingers crossed, it looks like my run of sleepless nights is over for a while.

The person who jumped in front of the lorry - police have been asking for witnesses and people with dashcam footage.  That poor lorry driver, he'll need some help to get over that, I should think, I hope he gets it.  Suicide, and attempted suicide, has touched our family a few times and it has profound and long lasting effects.  Clearly, anyone who commits suicide is most certainly not in their right mind and desperately needed help before the event, but I have to say that in my opinion it's the most selfish act, because it's so devastating for those left behind.  And to do it in a way that involves others in the act, like that poor lorry driver, is terrible.

I've been thinking about Christmas.  I don't know what to do about it this year, it'll be the first one since Mum died on Christmas Eve last year.  Her mother, my lovely Nanna, died on Boxing Day when I was 14, so Christmas is a time for both sad and happy memories for me.  The shops are getting their Christmas stuff in, once or twice I've seen a decoration and thought oh I like that, but a split second later I think no I'm not having any decs up this year.  I think I'll wait and see how I feel nearer the time.  Right now it just feels wrong to put any decorations up, especially since Mum never celebrated Christmas anyway (she was a Jehovah's Witness).

Christmas is going to be very different for all of us this year, with all the Covid restrictions...I wonder how many people will actually abide by the Covid rules?  Mind you, I was listening to a news programme the other day, two journalists being interviewed both said they reckon Boris will announce a relaxation of the rules a week before Christmas, as he won't want to go down in history as the grinch who stole Christmas!

Bit introspective today, sorry about that, must be the gloomy weather!