Making savings

 Husband had as good a birthday as was possible under the circumstances.  He had some nice cards (I made him one, which he liked), and gifts....a couple which I know should be coming from others haven't yet arrived, no doubt delayed by the covid situation.  So he's still got a couple of nice surprises to come.

I still haven't got round to having my dead laptop looked at, or replaced in the event of it being terminal.  The Amazon fire tablet I bought to temporarily replace it (what I'm typing on now) is ok but limited in what it can do....still, it serves a purpose and I'm grateful to have it.  However, husband's daughter told him the other day that her husband bought her a new tablet for Christmas - there's nothing wrong with her present one, the new one is simply a more up to date version.  It's not an Amazon one but a proper tablet....Husband didn't know the make, but his SiL is a computer technician working for one of the big computer companies and gets a discount on products, so it's a good one.  Anyway, his daughter said I can have her old tablet so she's sending it to me, which is very kind of her....saves me having to worry about paying to get my laptop fixed.  The next time they come down to visit us (whenever that may be allowed!), her husband will look at my laptop and see if he can fix it.

Husband and I are going to be saving towards 2 specific things over the next year or two, so I've been having a look at our finances to see where we can make savings.  Changing our big, expensive to run, gas guzzling car for a smaller, cheaper to run car is one thing that should save us quite a bit.  I've gone through our direct debits and cancelled a couple of small ones that weren't strictly necessary....small savings but every little helps.  Food shopping is another area where I think we can make more significant savings.  This month I'm aiming to do just 2 shops (both online), rather than weekly.  We had one delivered at the beginning of this week, I have another booked for the 20th.  They don't contain any extras, they're both average weekly shop amounts, as we have plenty of freezer and store cupboard stocks in.  So that will be 2 weekly shop amounts saved for this month, which I can transfer over to the savings account.

Not going out anywhere is saving us fuel costs too, so that's one advantage of lockdown - have to look for the positives in this situation.

Fingers crossed

 Really hard frost this morning, looked lovely but I was glad I didn't have to go out in it.  Husband was well wrapped up when he took Betty in the field behind us, she kept warm charging around, she does love being off the lead.  For the past hour or so it's been thick fog, can't see the field at all now.  Lockdown doesn't seem so bad right now!

I've had text confirmation this morning of my pre-op covid test at the local community hospital on Sunday, so it looks like my operation is still going ahead, thankfully.  It could still be cancelled between now and then, of course, so I won't be absolutely sure until the day.

Husband is 70 tomorrow....doesn't seem possible, he was 30 when I met him!  Rather than struggle to buy him something, I've just given him money to get something for himself that he really wants.  He's not decided yet, but there's no rush.  I'd ordered him a rib eye steak in the shopping, they were out of stock so sent fillet instead...he's not complaining!  He'll cook it himself, that's one thing he's quite competent at.  He always wants steak for his birthday, I'm not that keen on it, would rather have fish.  I also got a lemon mascarpone tart as a dessert treat, and will make him a cooked breakfast.  He had his mole removal yesterday, they'll be sending it off for analysis, although they said they don't think it's cancerous but best to be sure.

Out of the bad comes good

 So we're in lockdown again, which I'm sure we all knew would happen.  It is scary though just how quickly this new variant is spreading, the vaccination programme needs to speed up considerably if we're going to cope with it.  I'm not commenting on whether or not Boris is doing the right thing, but I will say I do feel sorry for him, he must go to bed with a king size headache every night, he's damned and blasted whatever he does.

Well, without going into all the details, husband and I had a good long talk yesterday and worked things out, and I think it's going to be ok.  I'm sure it won't all be plain sailing, but we have formulated a plan and he's seen, and is in agreement with, my point of view.  We've both agreed to work towards a common goal, part of which should be realised this year, with the ultimate goal hopefully next year.  I think we both feel so much better now.

Husband's mole removal at a clinic outsourced from the big general hospital is still going ahead tomorrow....I'm surprised, I thought it was likely to be cancelled, but he had a text this morning confirming it's still on.  Whether or not my op will still happen next week remains to be seen....it's at the big hospital, but in a purpose built day surgery unit separate from the main hospital.  I'm pleased about that, I don't have to go inside the main hospital and everyone who has an op or procedure in the day surgery unit has to have a covid test 3 days prior, me included.  So I'm satisfied that it'll be as safe as it can be.

I've got rice pudding in the slow cooker, feels like a bit of comfort food is needed!  It is sunny and dry, with very little wind, but it's blimmin cold.  I also made broccoli, cauli and stilton soup for lunch, it was lush with husband's homemade wholemeal seeded bread.

Thanks again for all the lovely comments, you are a wonderful bunch and I'm very grateful for your support.  Xx

Changing

 I've decided that when I have a bad day (by that I mean mainly when I've had a bad day emotionally, for whatever reason), I won't be writing a blog post that day (so expect lots of gaps!!).  The bad days happen, quite a lot at the moment, but I don't want to focus on the negativity.  I'm getting zero help or understanding from those close to me right now, so I'm not going to ask, I'm building a buffer around myself and getting on with things alone.  I'm the only person I can rely on, I know that now.

Yesterday was a bad one, very bad actually, for several reasons.  But that was yesterday.  I slept remarkably well last night, considering just how awful I felt yesterday - having enough sleep instantly makes me feel better.  

There's increasing talk of a possible national lockdown coming again...well, I've been more or less in lockdown for weeks now so it won't make much difference to me.

However, the worsening Covid situation has thrown the tentative plans I'd made out of the window.  The worst thing of all is that I'd planned on going away for a week following my week's recuperation from my op - well I can't do that now.  That's a real blow, I desperately need that week away and was counting on it to get my head together and get perspective on things from a distance.  Well, I can't go and that's that, I'll just have to muddle through until I can go.  I am beginning to formulate other plans in my head, nothing can be set in stone though until the covid situation eases.

I know this blog post won't make a lot of sense to anyone else...sorry about that, but it helps to make things clearer to me, which is the point of me writing a blog - I write it for me.

I'm going to be busy today, I'll write about it tomorrow (unless it turns out to be another bad day!) 😉

A good start

 I was tired and weepy last night so took a sleeping tablet and went to bed at 9.30, read for half an hour then put the light out just after 10 and was asleep within minutes.  Dog woofing woke me up around 11.30 pm, she must have heard something, she settled back down straight away so I didn't need to get up.  Drifted in and out of sleep for a couple of hours, heard fireworks on and off in the distance - nobody around here has any, living in a very rural farming area people are respectful of livestock.  Betty didn't make a sound, so she wasn't bothered by the distant fireworks.  Husband said he never heard anything, not even the dog, so he must have been sound asleep in his room.  Maybe he'd had a drink before bed.

Really hard frost this morning and the sky looks full of snow, although I don't think we have any forecast.  The field out the back finally, after several weeks, no longer looks like a swamp, it's hard and frozen.  That meant husband could take Betty in the field and let her off the lead for a good run around, for the first time in ages.  I watched them from the window, she was charging around like a mad thing, clearly enjoying herself hugely, so lovely to see.

I've not been dog walking much at all the last couple of weeks, husband is fit enough to do it now.  Since I've stopped doing it regularly, my hip pain has eased considerably, so the orthopaedic doctor I had a phone consultation with was obviously right when she said the increased walking was exacerbating the problem.  Which is a shame as I do like walking, but don't like the pain.  It still wakes me up every night when I turn onto my right hip, which is a nuisance, but the reduction in pain during the day is good.  The doctor said lots more walking, especially on uneven ground, was putting too much strain on my already inflamed bursas and tendons.  Ah well, I'm a fair weather walker anyway so not doing many walks right now is fine by me.

I have no idea what the future holds for me, the worsening covid situation has put paid to my immediate plans.  All I can do is get through one day at a time.  I have lots to keep me occupied, although being stuck at home both because of Tier 4 and my self isolation leading up to my operation, doesn't make for comfortable living.  The sooner we get the vaccines, the better.

Wishing you all a happy new year, certainly a better one than last.

A crap year

 What a crap year this has been, for most of us.  I got sent flowers from my friend on Christmas eve, very unexpectedly, I had to throw them away yesterday as they were all wilting and dying.  They didn't even last a week, oddly for florist flowers....somehow it just seemed to sum up how crappy things have been.

Last night, having woken up in the early hours, I couldn't get back to sleep (as usual), so put the light on to read.  I sat on the edge of the bed and accidentally knocked my book off the bedside cabinet, it bounced off my foot and shot under the bed....I just burst into tears, in a strange way it kind of felt like the last straw.

Some of my plans are unravelling - I had planned on going away for a week after my recovery from the operation (assuming it does go ahead).  However, the new covid restrictions have put paid to that...well, postponed it indefinitely, I have no idea when I'll be able to get away.  I'm not going to dwell on it though, I'll keep myself busy by starting another declutter, a major one this time, starting with my kitchen equipment cupboards.  Anything I haven't used for months, or isn't in the best condition, is going....either to the tip or to be sold cheaply on the local selling pages.  It'll all have to be stored in the garage for the time being, until restrictions are lifted.

Confined to barracks, more or less

 We went out to the supermarket early this morning to get a few fresh bits and some dog chews, it wasn't busy, thank goodness, and there didn't seem to be any shortages - well, not on the things we needed anyway.  That's the last time I'll be going shopping for several weeks, I'm under orders from the hospital to observe strict social distancing and safety measures from today, and self isolation (house arrest) from Sunday 10th until my op on the 13th.  I have to go for a Covid test on the morning of the 10th.  I've also been advised to do the strict social distancing for 14 days after my op.  I do hope it goes ahead, I'm really banking on having this op, my life is on hold until it's done.

I had to go to the surgery for a blood test yesterday.  When I got there, it turned out to be a different nurse from the one I usually have, the one I saw yesterday admitted she doesn't usually do blood tests and my heart sank.  My blood is very reluctant to come out, I always make sure i drink at least a couple of glasses of water beforehand to plump up my veins.  As I've had 100s of blood tests over the years, I know exactly where the best place is to get it from and my usual nurse doesn't have too much trouble.  This one, however, didn't seem to have a clue...I've ended up with half a dozen punctures and bruising (I bruise easily) in both arms, it's a good job I'm not remotely squeamish about it.  And she still didn't manage to get any blood at all, not a drop (3 tubes for different tests required).  So I have to go back next week to see my usual nurse, which I'm not very happy about, bloody nuisance.

I've spent the last couple of days batch cooking meals and freezing them....chilli, chicken casserole, savoury mince, meatloaf and fish pie.  So after my op when I'm recuperating, I won't have to keep getting out of bed to prep and cook meals, husband can just get one out of the freezer and do some veg to go with it, I'm sure he can manage that.  We've got pizzas, sausages, burgers, cod in batter, chips etc in the freezer too, but those kind of things I only eat once in a while, I certainly don't want them every day.

Isn't it great news about the Oxford vaccine being approved?  Hopefully it'll speed things up and we'll be getting the vaccine sooner.  Can't have it soon enough as far as I'm concerned.

Thank you again for all your support, I'm very touched.  xx

EDIT  As we're now in Tier 4, we won't be going anywhere in any case.  Good job we don't need anything.