A stupid bit of paper

 We've had hardly any post lately, we go days without getting any at all, and then yesterday morning we got a job lot of 7 or 8 letters, some of which had been sent a fortnight ago.  People on our local FB pages for surrounding villages have also been complaining about the lack of post, several people said they'd gone to the main sorting office in town to check where important mail they were expecting had gone.  There seems to be a bit of a postal crisis going on - people have been told that if their rounds person hasn't turned up for work, then that round's post doesn't get sorted or delivered and, in fact, there are numerous sacksful of post in the sorting office waiting to be sorted!!  And to think they had the cheek recently to put up the cost of 1st class postage!

Anyway, 3 or 4 weeks ago I applied for a Voter Authority Certificate - it's a document issued by your local Electoral Registration Office which has your photo and address on it and basically proves who you are and that you are eligible to vote.  It's for people who have no other forms of photo ID, as that is now required to be able to vote in local or national elections.  Whilst husband has his photo driving licence, I have no form of photo ID at all - my passport expired about 10 years ago and I only ever had a paper provisional driving licence, which also expired numerous years ago.  Well, the Voter Authority finally arrived yesterday (no doubt held up at the sorting office!) and, much to my surprise, it's a flimsy sheet of paper - I had assumed it would be a plastic card, like the driving licence.  My photo on it, which is a selfie I did on my phone, is horrible - I look like a startled rabbit caught in headlights.  Still, I don't suppose anyone's going to scrutinise it really closely!  It apparently lasts for 10 years.....somehow I can't see a flimsy bit of paper lasting that long, it would have been much better to have a card.  Cost cutting, I expect.

We went to town yesterday morning and did 4 jobs at once - the small bit of shopping in Sainsburys, Superdrug for a chemist thing, the charity shop to drop off some shoes and clothes and get some more books (must have books in the caravan!) and Matalan for some PJs.  I spent the rest of the afternoon packing clothes and more food for the caravan.  I've also sorted out some balls of yarn and a hook - Joy has given me the nudge to start making another granny squares blanket - have you seen her beautiful one on her blog?  Here

I had my phone consultation with my physiotherapist, which took all of 5 minutes, if that.  I've told her I don't need another one.  I asked her if the first exercise class is going ahead next week, it having been cancelled last month (seems to be a recurring theme with physio appointments!) - she confirmed it is, and in fact is now fully booked.  I'm looking forward to it, it should be fun.

Today I'll be planting up some of the geraniums and petunias I bought the other day, I'll put the pots in a sheltered spot in the garden near the house, so they're protected.  The rest of the plants are going with us to the caravan.  I've also got dog food to make, and the frozen homecooked meals we're taking to be put all in one freezer drawer together, so they can be easily grabbed and packed in the coolbox tomorrow morning.  Husband needs to sort out all the meds he's got to take (and I've got to check he's got them all, else he'll forget some of them).  I'm also doing one final wash load, which will be collected when we come back mid week.  8 jobs in total on my list for today....I'm not feeling too good so husband will have to help me out and do a couple of them.  I feel washed out and achy and have a very unsettled stomach - nothing serious, it's all just the result of anxiety and severe lack of sleep over husband's possible diagnosis.  I'm sure I'll feel better having a nice long stay at the caravan and catching up with our lovely van neighbours C & J.  They texted me yesterday to say they've arrived safely at the park (they have a nearly 4 hour journey) and are looking forward to seeing us. 

Things moving along

 A welcome surprise - yesterday afternoon we had a phone call from Hannah, the psychologist who came to do husband's memory assessment.  If you recall, she said she would be discussing husband at a case conference yesterday and would give us a ring today or tomorrow, so it was a relief to receive her phone call yesterday.  She said they haven't yet come to any firm conclusions and need more information - to this end they want husband to have a brain scan, and will discuss things further once the scan result is received.  She said he'll get an appointment through the post within the next fortnight, the scan will be done at Musgrove Park, the big hospital in Taunton.  So more waiting to do, but at least we know.  And I'm pleased he's having the brain scan.  The scan will be looking to see if his carotid arteries are narrowed or furred up (his cardiologist was already of the opinion that they may well be, causing lack of oxygenated blood to his brain) - it will also show if there are any areas of husband's brain which are damaged.  Or indeed already dead.  So we may as well try to put things out of our minds until he has the scan.  So good job we're going to the caravan on Saturday and our lovely van neighbours will be there, they are actually arriving today and staying for a fortnight.

We'll be staying for a week, longer probably, but will be popping back home once or twice so can check the post for the appointment letter.  As it happens, I have my first physio exercise class next Wednesday at the local hospital in Bridgwater, so we'll have to come back then anyway (that's if it actually goes ahead!).  We'll pop back home after my class, to bring home some washing and collect more clothes and frozen food, then go back to the caravan.

This morning I have a phone appointment with my physiotherapist - a waste of time as far as I'm concerned, if she suggests another I shall decline, I don't think it serves any purpose really, all she's doing is checking I'm doing my exercises (I am, when I remember!).

At least now I know I can go do our little bit of needed shopping anytime this afternoon or tomorrow, without having to wait in for a phone call.

We've got a few pots blown around the garden due to the gale force winds last night, I expect there will be at the caravan too.  Much calmer this morning, thank goodness, the winds kept me awake a lot last night, a few showers forecast this morning but not much wind.  It's sunny at the moment, albeit with a few clouds.  My hayfever is in full swing, very itchy nose and eyes.

Oh, and that bungalow we really liked that ticked all our boxes, other than being far away from our preferred area, still hasn't been let, so we're sort of still in the running for it.  And I'm still ambivalent about it!

Busy morning

 I've been busy and achieved a lot already this morning.  Sorted out a wash load and put it in to be done overnight on the cheap(er) rate electricity.  Prepped tonight's dinner - some of the rich mince I cooked yesterday, topped with a tin of macaroni cheese, with grated cheese and breadcrumb topping, with Savoy cabbage prepped and ready to cook.  Packed a bag of food and treats for Betty to take to the caravan, and part packed some food things for us.  Done a menu plan for next week (I have enough homecooked frozen dinners for 5 days to take with us) and written a short shopping list for Friday.  Now I'm just about to make some cheese scones to go in the AF, we'll have them with tomato soup for lunch.

I asked husband to sort out his unwanted clothes and shoes for the charity shop - he's done the shoes but not the clothes, he'll need a bit of encouragement to continue with that.  I've had a look through mine, there's not much I don't wear, I've mostly thinned it out already.  I do need to buy a couple of pairs of leggings/jeggings though, one or two of mine are pretty much at the 'only suitable for home' stage.  I could also do with some new PJs, I generally get changed into them soon after dinner, I like to be comfortable in the evenings.

Now I've got everything on my list done, we might sit and watch the Agatha Christie mini series 'Why didn't they ask Evans?' this afternoon, we've recorded it.  The weather is dreadful now, chucking it down and galeforce winds, so certainly not going out weather, even Betty won't go out.

Growing my own flowers

 Thanks so much for the comments on my last post.  I'm not feeling depressed - as I said yesterday, life is what it is and we just have to get on with it.  Husband and I have been together for more than 42 years (it's our 40th wedding anniversary next month), so it's not like I'm not used to his lack of romantic gestures.  He did used to buy me flowers quite often, but appears to have fallen out of the habit over the past few years and isn't likely to change now, especially with his memory loss!

This morning we went out early (before the forecast rain started - it has now) to go to a plant nursery near Brean.  We got a bag of ericaceous compost for my camellias in pots as we'd run out and they need top dressing.  I also got a mixture of geraniums and surfinia petunias in purple and pink colours, some for here at home and some for the caravan garden.  They'll be kept in the utility room for the time being, prior to being hardened off and planted out in a couple of weeks.  I can't wait to see loads of colour in the two gardens - if I can't get given flowers, then at least I'll be growing them myself!  And they'll be longer lasting.

I'm making a big pan of (turkey) mince and veg this afternoon, to be used for cottage pies, lasagne and jacket potato toppings, some to be frozen for the caravan.  I'll do some scones in the AF as well, also to be frozen and taken to the caravan.  The rest of the week will be taken up with getting organised for an extended stay at the caravan - at least a week, as the weather is meant to be much nicer from next week.  We'll also be sorting out surplus clothes and shoes for the charity shop - whilst donating them, I'll also be getting a few more books from there, the big Cancer UK one has a big selection. 

Introspective

 By the time we got to Blue Anchor Bay yesterday the sun had well and truly vanished, it was cloudy and quite windy.  Despite that, there were plenty of families on the beach (with coats on!), children and dogs running about and lots of people walking along the promenade above the beach.  We walked along the prom for quite a way (the tide was out so no wave watching), then went into the caravan park cafe for a hot coffee and slice of cake.  It's a smart nice looking cafe, we've been in there several times, but it is very expensive - obviously catering to the tourists on the holiday park, who are captive audiences really.  Still, it's nice as a treat now and then, it's not somewhere we go often and there's the lovely view across the bay to South Wales.

We're not going anywhere today, the weather's not nice at all, raining and windy again - in fact it's forecast to be unsettled all week (there's a surprise!).  So we're doing some more sorting out this week, our wardrobes this time, and I'll be doing some batch cooking I expect.  Hannah the psychologist said she will be ringing us Thursday or Friday.  I'm trying not to think about it.

I'm crippled with backache today, it's been getting worse the past few days (since I sorted out all the garden pots the other day) and is making my hip pain worse.  I've got a few things to do today, so will take painkillers and get on and do them, and then take it a bit easier this afternoon.  Husband has a tendency to say he doesn't feel well and uses it as an excuse to sit and doze in front of the TV literally all day.  I've tried to get him to see that life doesn't come to a halt if we're not feeling well - sometimes we just have to grit our teeth and get on with stuff, else we become invalids and expect everything to be done for us.  I know he's got heart failure, I'm well aware of it, but the 2 new meds he was prescribed last October and the small adjustments to his existing meds that the GP has been doing have helped enormously, he's no longer really breathless and isn't getting the angina anymore, he just gets tired quite quickly so he just needs to pace himself and take breaks.

I do wonder sometimes what would happen if one morning after a particularly bad night, I said I really didn't feel well and was going to stay in bed for a couple of days.  I am always tired, literally 100% of the time, I always have some degree of hip, back and knee pain, that never goes away.  I have frequent stomach and bowel issues and go through periods where everything I eat seems to upset my gut, usually caused by stress.  I have headaches and the occasional migraine, again stress related.  Sometimes I just wish I lived on a desert island, with just books and my dog to keep me company.  Husband could feed himself if I stayed in bed, he'd be happy to do himself something on toast, and there are nearly always homemade meals in the freezer, so food wouldn't be a problem for him, he'd also feed Betty.  He'd have to use the microwave for the frozen stuff, he wouldn't know how to use the AF - I have shown him a few times, but he forgets instantly.  However, nothing else would get done, and I do mean nothing.  I'm not putting it to the test though, it's not in my nature to stay in bed, and that would exacerbate my back and hip pain anyway.  It's just that sometimes it would be nice for someone else to take over and look after me.  It's not going to happen though, so I don't dwell on it.

It sounds like I'm feeling very sorry for myself right now - I'm not really, there's no point in wishing our lives were different.....it is what it is and I've got to work with it.  I'm sure nobody has a perfect life - even if they did, something would be bound to happen to disrupt it sooner or later.  I guess that right now my head is full of 'What if's....' - understandable under the circumstances.  We've had a pretty good life up till now, which I'm thankful for.  

But a bunch of flowers, for no reason, and a little note telling me I'm appreciated would be nice!

Quiet Sunday

 We had a lovely time at our friends' house yesterday for a barbecue.  They had another couple of friends over, the chap we've met before and like, his partner we'd never met, we got on really well.  It turns out I sort of know her through a FB page we both belong to, although I didn't realise who she was until I met her yesterday.....small world.  The only pity was the weather - having been forecast to be a nice sunny warm day, the sun was coming and going, with grey clouds in between, and at times a very cool breeze, so eventually we had to beat a hasty retreat indoors as we were all sitting there shivering.

We were going to go out somewhere today, but decided against it - being Easter Sunday everywhere will be crowded, especially beaches, and shops and garden centres are closed.  Betty doesn't like crowds and gets very anxious, so she wouldn't have enjoyed going anywhere where there were likely to be tourists and families.

Having said that, change of plan - we've decided to go for a brief walk at Blue Anchor beach to blow the cobwebs away - the sun's gone in but it's not cold, although I expect it'll be a bit breezy at the beach, it usually is.  The dinner is all prepped and some of it partly cooked, so won't take long to finish off when we get back.  Husband's having a gammon shank, I'm having all the normal roast dinner veggies and homemade Yorkies.

Hope everyone's enjoying their Easter weekend, whatever you're doing.

Still not a meat eater

 It's now 7 months since I decided to go vegetarian - well, pescatarian.  And you know what?  I don't miss meat at all and wouldn't go back to eating it.  By that I mean beef, pork, lamb and gammon, I do occasionally eat homemade things like cottage pie and lasagne, for which I use turkey mince - beef or lamb mince taste greasy to me now, even low fat ones.  And about once a month I'll eat a bacon sandwich, usually when I've been making one for husband and I think 'Ooh that smells really nice, I think I'll have one'.  Oddly enough though, every time I find the taste doesn't match up to the smell - I don't really like the taste or texture of the bacon and always resolve not to have it again.  But the smell of bacon cooking is just so nice....

It's not an ethical thing, as I said when I first decided to go veggie - it's just that as I've got older, I've found my tastes have changed and I no longer like the taste or texture of meat.  A couple of weeks ago we had a KFC takeaway - husband really wanted one and it used to be one of my favourites so I agreed.  Well, the best bit about it was the southern fried coating, I wasn't at all keen on the actual chicken!  When I first went veggie I tried a few of those fake meat burgers and sausages, you know, the ones that are actually made to look like meat.  Well, I quickly decided I didn't like them - apart from one or two exceptions, they just don't really taste of anything at all I found, unless they're very heavily spiced.  I guess for people who've always been vegetarians they might taste ok, but if you've been a meat eater then I would say that they simply bear no relation to real meat.  And the list of ingredients puts me off as well - quite often they contain a long list of things I've never even heard of and I wonder what the hell it is I'm actually eating!  The only 'fake meat' product I actually like is the Linda McCartney rosemary and red onion sausages.

I do like fish and eat it a lot - 3 or 4 times a week, I especially like salmon, natural smoked haddock, lemon sole, cod and king prawns (I buy them raw frozen, they taste better than ready cooked).  I eat a lot of tinned fish too, tuna, salmon and pilchards - I love mashed pilchards on toast.  Although I like tinned tuna, I'm not keen on fresh (or frozen for that matter) tuna steaks, the texture is too much like beef steak for me.  The days I don't eat fish of some kind I eat something veggie instead.  So I think I can safely say I'll be pescatarian for the rest of my life now.  Husband still eats meat, which I'm happy to cook for him (except for offal, that really turns my stomach now and he has to cook that for himself - and for Betty).  He does eat less meat now though, and will happily eat some of my homemade veggie meals.

I'm still having disturbed nights, which will continue at least until we get the results of husband's assessment, and possibly after that too, depending on what we're told.  The doctor did say that they may want to do some more tests, not only a brain scan but also some more extensive tests which we'll need to go to their clinic for, it's only basic tests they do at home.  It's not nice waiting for results.  Husband seems ok though, I think he's mainly just relieved that she didn't say he'd got to give up driving immediately.  Thank you again, everyone, for your kind comments and support, it's so nice.  Frankly, we're getting little support from anyone else right now, even from family - although, to be fair, they don't know the full extent of what we're going through at the moment.